sheepfilms

Andulka
Misplaced Lens Cap
taylor price
YOU ARE THE REASON
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
cherry valley forever

@theartofmadeline
Keni

PR's Tumblrdome
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle

★
Sade Olutola

ellievsbear
RMH

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
DEAR READER
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@disastrousdee
My black cat ♥️😻🐾🧶 #Shiva #MyLittleGoddess # https://www.instagram.com/p/B4jJVrcgk3s/?igshid=1txs8vtjzonci
the one problem i have with people my age and younger is that a lot of us do not have hands on hobbies. like i have spoken to so many people my age who go to work, go to school and then fuck around on their phone/computer for hours and then ???????? like no wonder ur depressed and have low confidence in urself. u need to get ur hands on something, feed those dopamine receptors! learn how to play guitar, garden, scrapbook, fucking make model trains. i don’t give a shit, MAKE SOMETHING!!
it feels better than drugs when i finish making a thing—and then show it off or gift it.
and then so people my age say to me ‘well—i can’t draw/paint/knit/etc. like you can. my stuff would be terrible.’ yeah, well duh—a part of developing skill is sucking at something and then practicing it over and over and over again until you suck less. u’ll have a hard time feeling lonely or bored when you can’t stop thinking abt a technique you want to try or something you want to make for someone else. making things has SAVED MY LIFE. it gave me a reason to keep living day after day when i wanted to die.
making things improved my generational relationships (when i worked for the newspaper i would talk to customers abt jamming recipes or cross-stitch, one of my grandmas always gives me pattern books and tell me abt when she knitted things for mom, my other grandma is giving me a wedding quilt that HER grandma gave her 50 years ago because she knows i will appreciate it). it also got me likeminded friends who also make things.
take a ceramics class! pick up water colors, bake cakes! learn to work on cars! make soap. DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE STARING AT A SCREEN.
The best boy
I Might Have Found A Discrepancy In The Shrek Universe.
So you know how in Shrek 2 during the most amazing cover of all time Mongo was born?
Yeah. Well, I was curious to see how long it would take to actually bake, cool, decorate, and make alive a Mongo in real life. Would Shrek and Gingy have enough time to save Fiona from Prince Charming and the Fairy Godmother with Mongo at their side?
Here’s how I figured it out.
So Shrek is originally seven feet tall.
But when he takes the Happily Ever After potion, he shrinks a bit. Let’s say… a foot. Shrek is now six feet tall. That’s a good, measurable number. I drew it out in proportion to Mongo here:
So from his shoulder to his mouth, Mongo is about six feet (I added a bit extra here because Shrek is bent over a little because giant gingerbread monster footsteps can be jarring and you need to brace your body for impact). Now, I couldn’t find a full body picture or character model of Mongo, but I could find one of Gingy. They do have the same proportions.
Here’s the model I used. He’s a bit bent, but I made do. Using MS Paint again, I measured about six feet on this model if it were Mongo sized.
Now using the line tool, I measured the space between the two lines and made new lines according to where the space ended. Here’s the final result:
So this is about 12 lines worth of space. The top of his head didn’t make it another six feet, so let’s say it’s three feet. Plug 12.5 and 6 into the calculator in and…
Mongo is 75 feet tall. Add that to your fan wikis.
Now let’s look at Gingy’s size. We need to know how many Gingies make a Mongo. Looking at the picture again, Gingy is a little smaller than Shrek’s head.
So if we look up the size of the average head, we get…
About nine inches. Let’s just say nine. Nine inches is 0.75 feet.
It takes 100 Gingies to make one Mongo. Assuming Gingy is the same size as an average gingerbread man that Muffin Man makes, let’s assume further and say he’s an average gingerbread man.
I found this snip from this recipe by the Food Network. Since Gingy is nine inches tall, we need to tweak this a bit.
If my calculations are correct and I’m not a fool, each batch makes four cookies. We would need 25 batches to make a Mongo. That’s 75 cups flour, 25 teaspoons baking soda, 18 ¾ teaspoons ground cinnamon and ground ginger, 12 ½ teaspoons ground allspice, ground cloves, and salt, 6 ¼ teaspoon milled black pepper (for whatever reason), 25 sticks of butter, 6 ¼ cups of room temperature vegetable shortening, 12 ½ cups packed light brown sugar, 16 2/3 cups of molasses, and 25 large eggs! Jesus, now the Muffin Man’s in crippling debt. And that’s just the cookie part!
Assuming this humble, gentle soul makes his own icing, he would need 25 pounds of confectioners’ sugar, 50 tablespoons of dried egg-white powder he would have to dry himself, and 150 tablespoons of water. I feel so sorry for this man.
Not to mention, Far Far Away can’t possibly sell gumdrops that big, so he’d have to melt them down, build a giant bowl of some sort, wait for them to solidify, take them out as to not damage them, and sprinkle sugar on them before animating his giant, expensive monster.
The melting point of gumdrops, I could not find. But I assume they have a slightly higher melting point than, say syrup sap. And it might also stick horrifically to any pan. So we need an open flame, like a bonfire, and we need it hot enough to melt the gumdrops inside of a big enough bowl. Something like pictured here from Little House In The Big Woods:
So we would need one or two of these set up. Thankfully, our boy Muffin Man lives in a place with quite a few trees.
They are a little ways off, though. Chopping one down, getting chains to propel the pot up, and starting a dangerously hot fire as well as stirring quite close to it would take for ever. And melting that many gumdrops would take forever. So would cooling them.
Now onto the actual bake time. Shrek does take place in what I presume to be Midevil Germany, judging by the architecture, clothing, and art style in the books. Though it has many modern conveniences, such as fast food and concert lighting/sound systems.
So I assume that even a somewhat seemingly poor/lower middle class single baker dude can afford a good oven. Let’s say this type of oven.
Now this is a pretty small oven. How could Muffins possibly create a 75-foot gingerbread man with this small of an oven? It’s impossible. He would have to bake him piece by piece, then somehow paste him all together. And he wouldn’t see a single penny of his back breaking work! Shrek never paid him, and Mongo ended up a soggy mess in the bottom of a river anyway, so all of that time, energy, money, work was all for nothing!
And no, I’m not acknowledging Shrek The 3rd.
Anyway suppose he did paste Mongo piece by piece. How long would it take for him to bake each piece? Let’s look at his model again.
Splitting up the model into head, upper torso, mid torso, left and right arm/hand/leg/shin/foot, and lower torso, we get something like this:
These can sit in the oven more easily. If we break it in half it would be easier.
There we go. If we make twice the amount of icing we need, then we can paste him back together, like Humpty Dumpty.
Wait…
It’s almost as if Dreamworks wanted someone to do this. Huh.
Anyway, going back to the Food Network recipe. How long does it take for a Mongo to cook? According to the article, it’s about ten minutes. So let’s just say ten minutes. Multiply that by 25, you’ve got 250 minutes in the oven, or a little over four hours to bake an entire Mongo.
It takes 5 minutes to cool a batch. so that’s 150 minutes, or a little over two hours. That’s six hours to bake and cool a Mongo.
So about saving Fiona…
It’s not happening. An oven like the one Muffins has cannot be hot enough to bake it and make it cook enough to not burn nor be raw in enough time to still get to the castle and save Fiona. Especially after mixing each batch, making the giant gumdrops, icing gluing, giving life, baking time, and cooling time. Just by estimating, mixing all that stuff together could take, like, an hour at the most. Plus the gumdrop issue; I wouldn’t be surprised if it took two and a half hours. Don’t forget giving Mongo life. I would expect another two and a half hours since an electric spark of Mary Shelly proportions can be made in a somewhat modern home with the right equipment, but Muffins probably has to make/go out to get the right equipment. (That’s how I remember Mongo being alive correct me if I’m wrong).
Add all of that up, and that’s 12 hours.
TWELVE HOURS.
That’s over 202 times of playing Shrek’s cover of “I Need A Hero.” That’s like playing Shrek 2 in full over eight times. Basically, Fiona is doomed and Shrek should have used a carriage ordering service.
TLDR; Shrek 2 is impossible and Mongo takes a lot of time and effort to make.
Why tf does this not have any notes I spent four hours of vitamin water-fueled procrastination on this and not a shred of acknowledgement. Unbelievable.
gay pride cat
I know I have made a post about this before, but let’s see some more hover cats in action
i’ve been laughing for 2 minutes straight
hearing “im so proud of you” when you feel like you aren’t doing enough really lifts some weight off your shoulders
my body is less of a “temple” and more of a rotting 19th century mansion rumored to be haunted by several wicked and vengeful spirits
Confession time, because I need to get it out of my head. This is completely a self pity post, so feel free to continue scrolling. But I'm lost.
I've had my ups and downs in life, I've had my "traumatic" experiences, and I've been diagnosed with the personality disorder/mental illness. I've had a few too many self destructive adventures, the wards, the crisis units, the endless experiments with psych meds.
I've gone to school and worked a good job and had my own home. I had the great significant other and the amazing plans for the future.
I've had the ods, and the casual sex with the occasional person I've been too drunk to remember leaving the bars with, the loads of different street drugs.
I've lived at both ends of the spectrums, and every stop in between, trying to find some place I'm happy or belong. And I'm running out of options.
I've stayed in my home town with my friends and family, I've moved states into a town with a fresh start.
I don't know what's left for me to try.
Since I was 8, I had it set in my mind I had until I was 23. Til I was 23 to figure out if this was worth it. 15 years to try and make my own happiness, or to fall into a place in life that made sense and would hopefully change my mind about this pathetic crap we call a life. I waited 15 years for something to open my eyes and make this worth continuing to fight for.
I've been 23 now for three months, and honestly I can't come up with a single reason after all these years. I'm terrified, because I'm lost, and I've officially lost all hope. And I'm terrified, mostly because I don't feel a damn thing at all.
And I've always been a girl of my word.
Wolf pup howling for the first time
My baby likes to make sure I don't need help while using the rest room.
Bastet, my beautiful little calico 🖤🐈
A beautiful ride in Pennsylvanias little mountains.
My kitty, Shiva!!
Love me a bearded Jensen! 💜
📸: Via Jensen’s IG
This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not