✌🏽😜 Yikes™

So, my name is [RU]. Formerly thetomboywithheadphones Born to jest 🃏 forced to joust 🤺

[bigtonguebiollante]

Happy tired and a little on edge Tuesday

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[loveridden1999]

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[dogpuppy]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

me normally: i'm not personally a huge fan of modern art

me around right wingers: I love modern art sooooo much and I think there should be litter boxes in schools also

[theonlycabbage]

fucking obliterated lmao

[angstbotfic]

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[jame7t]

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

[jame7t]

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

[calli0pea]

unfortunately, Sky High was only (1) 1hr 30 min Disney film and not the 6 season so-bad-it’s-good CW series it could’ve been

[lennyjamin]

friends. romans. countrymen. i am asking. i am begging. please use headphones when listening to audio content in a shared space.

[shadow-yato]

Man

[greelin]

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

[yves-and-scessernee]

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

[so-much-to-read-deactivated2025]

[half-giant-fighter]

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[emryses]

listen to me. this is my final message to you. when you are at your lowest a fictional guy will come to you and when that happens you must start putting them in situations. this is the meaning of life.