Disconnected From The Hive Mind

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

I put too much weight on my shoulders

But I don't know how to let go

No matter how far I bush the boulder up the mountain

It always rolls back down

Can't take a break for fear it will all come crashing down

The needs I let sit on the back burner

The wounds that are beginning to fester

No amount of doing makes the list shorter

No amount of work seems enough

Yet there is a flame that keeps me going

A light that shines inside me

I can still share that warmth with others

And help light their way

And that carries me through

Taking another try pushing the boulder up the mountain

While ohers help me slowly chip away

To make the burden lighter

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

"Conflict. It's everywhere you look. It touches everything we do. Every relationship we have. Isn't it funny how at their core all fights are the same. Two people yelling or accusing or running away. Two people doing anything to avoid telling each other what they really feel. Just talk when you wanna run. Reveal when you wanna attack, it's so simple. So obvious. And at the same time so incredibly hard." - Erica

Being Erica

Season 2, Episode 2

[nousrose]

The anxiety of fate and death produces nonpathological strivings for security. Large sections of man’s civilization serve the purpose of giving him safety against the attacks of fate and death. He realizes that no absolute and no final security is possible; he also realizes that life demands again and again the courage to surrender some or even all security for the sake of full self-affirmation. Nevertheless he tries to reduce the power of fate and the threat of death as much as possible. Pathological anxiety about fate and death impels toward a security which is comparable to the security of a prison. He who lives in this prison is unable to leave the security given to him by his self-imposed limitations. But these limitations are not based on a full awareness of reality. Therefore the security of the neurotic is unrealistic. He fears what is not to be feared and he feels to be safe what is not safe. The anxiety which he is not able to take upon himself produces images having no basis in reality, but it recedes in the face of things which should be feared. That is, one avoids particular dangers, although they are hardly real, and suppresses the awareness of having to die although this is an ever-present reality. Misplaced fear is a consequence of the pathological form of the anxiety of fate and death.

Courage to Be

Paul Tillich

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

If I could turn self doubt into self love. I would be unstoppable

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

I've been conditioned to be afraid. Now to unlearn and reclaim my power.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

How long have I exhausted myself by hiding from the world? So much pain. Reminds me of:

"The real violence, the violence I realized was unforgivable, is the violence that we do to ourselves, when we're too afraid to be who we really are."

And

"For a long time, I was afraid to be who I am because I was taught by my parents that there's something wrong with someone like me. Something offensive, something you would avoid, maybe even pity. Something that you could never love. I was afraid of this parade because I wanted so badly to be a part of it. So today, I'm marching for that part of me that was once too afraid to march. And for all the people who can't march... the people living lives like I did. Today, I march to remember that I'm not just a me. I'm also a we. And we march with pride." —Nomi

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

In sorrow, I cry

In silence, forgotten

Everything said, but nothing acknowledged

Oh how I've fallen, yet risen

Started anew, but carrying the baggage of old

One day I'll walk light as a feather

Having learnt not to carry other's burdens

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

Unwanted thoughts are like flies. You can try to chase them and get annoyed when they keep going all over the place or ignore them and they go away eventually.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

Sometimes when there's nothing urgent to do I sit in tiredness. I'm tired because I've accomplished so much but tend to focus on being tired instead of my accomplishments. I try to let myself be proud and at peace instead of pushing for more and feeling weak for needing rest. After all, it's so nice to sit in peace and quiet.

[scorpionlafemme]

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

This place is my home but I wished there was somewhere new

A safe haven for me and you

But where there are people there is hate and crime

Maybe we can make this place better with a bit of time

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

Living in capitalism is like walking on an tightrope always terrified of falling off. Instead of lowering the rope or adding safety features for the cost of adding a few feet people are disillusioned that they will make it to the other side. The people there keep lengthening everyone's ropes while telling the people on them that they are lazy and incompetent while they were born on the platform and have never stood on the rope themselves. People don't want to help each other because it increases their chance of falling off. Even though everyone has the fear of falling they make fun of the people that fell and are hurt calling them lazy knowing that one strong wind can put them in the same position. We're just a circus act for the people born into privilege.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

Anxiety is like weeds and instead of going out and pulling at weeds everyday I want to find an effective weed killer I only have to spray once in a while. Open to ideas.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

When I close my eyes I could be anywhere, but sometimes when I open my eyes I wonder how I got here.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

Everything is relative. To know if we have reached a goal, we need to compare where we are to where we were and where we want to be. It's easy to forget where we were and focus on where we want to be and yet are not. We will always live in the present for wherever you go there you are. So remember how far you've come.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

I'm not convinced that you can "read between the lines." It's more 'writing between the lines." Sure the speculation can be accurate because there are patterns in human behavior but they're still assumptions. At the end of the day though we build our own world inside our head so we build our own reality everyday.

[disconnected-from-the-hive]

Maybe luck's an RNG,

But I'll keep rolling endlessly.

And I don't know what's coming next,

But I'll level up through every mess.

Still working on my mind, soul, and body

While trying to form the perfect party.

My goal is to make this world a better place,

No matter what resistance I may face.