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"No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable. It was nice to know there was someone worse off than you. Someone had to be the butt of the world.”

- Men at Arms

#men at arms #terry pratchett #clowns #funny #butt #jokes #worst

Not simply, ordinarily lazy. Ordinary laziness was merely the absence of effort. Victor had passed through commonplace idleness and out the far side. He put more effort into avoiding work than most people put into hard labour.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #effort #ordinary #laziness #idleness #Victor

Failing would be easy. Any idiot can fail.

- Moving Pictures

#failing #idiot #easy way

What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a wizard? Well, you got a certain amount of prestige, but you were often in dangerous situations and certainly always at risk of being killed by a fellow mage. He saw no future in being a well-respected corpse.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #advantages #disadvantages #being a wizard #dangerous #respect #corpse

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #sober #exam #fact

The Archchancellor shook his head. 'Can't stand jokes. Can't stand chaps goin' around tryin' to be funny the whole time. Comes of spendin' too much time sitting indoors. A few twenty-mile runs and the Dean'd be a different man.'

'Well, yes,' said the Bursar. 'He'd be dead.'

'He'd be healthy.'

'Yes, but still dead.'

#Archchancellor #The Bursar #healthy #run #dead #joke

There weren’t actually many widows and orphans, of course, because alchemists found it difficult to relate to other people long enough, and generally if they ever managed to marry it was only to have someone to hold their crucibles.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #marry #crucibles #alchemists

By and large, the only skill the alchemists of Ankh-Morpork had discovered so far was the ability to turn gold into less gold.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #Ankh-Morpork #alchemists #discover #gold #less

A month went by quickly. It didn’t want to hang around.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #month #quickly #hang around #transition

That the Alchemists had a Guild at all was remarkable. Wizards were just as unco-operative, but they also were by nature hierarchical and competitive. They needed organization. What was the good of being a wizard of the Seventh Level if you didn’t have six other levels to look down on and the Eighth Level to aspire to? You needed other wizards to hate and despised.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #hierarchical #competitiveness #wizards #order #organisation

Only the Patrician knew how many spies he had in the city. This particular one was a servant in the Alchemists’ Guild. He had once had the misfortune to come up before the Patrician accused of malicious lingering, and had then chosen of his own free will to become a spy.³ ³ The alternative was choosing of his own free will to be thrown into the scorpion pit.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #spies #own free will #scorpion pit

The Patrician’s stare had him pinned. It was a good stare, and one of the things it was good at was making people go on talking when they thought they had finished.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #Patrician #stare #pinned

And that was the last one. Whole days went by without being punctuated by small explosions. The city settled down again, which was a foolish thing to do. What the Bursar failed to consider was that no more bangs doesn’t mean they’ve stopped doing it, whatever it is. It just means they’re doing it right.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #doing it right #Bursar

It knew that kind of mind. It loved minds like that. A mind that could sell nightmare pies could sell dreams.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #minds #dreams #nightmares #sell #CMOT Dibbler

But Ankh-Morpork doesn’t fear enemies. In fact it welcomes enemies, provided they are enemies with money to spend.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #tourism #enemies #money

Reality is not digital, an on-off state, but analog. Something gradual. In other words, reality is a quality that things possess in the same way that they possess, say, weight. Some people are more real than others, for example. It has been estimated that there are only about five hundred real people on any given planet, which is why they keep unexpectedly running into one another all the time.

- Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #reality #digital #analog #gradual #six degrees of separation

The Discworld is as unreal as it is possible to be while still being just real enough to exist.

-Moving Pictures

#Moving Pictures #Terry Pratchett #Discworld #real #unreal

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