Prince Philip is the most badass prince EVER. And here's why.
Okay, so heās got a girly face, and he wears tights and some high boots. Sure.
But check out that noble steed. Thatās one ready-to-kick-ass-and-take-names steed.
While other princesses just run away and leave nothing, Philip gets AN INVITE TO HER HOUSE. He gets a song, a dance, and a first date.
He comes home, just to tell his dad heās not going to marry the princess because heās in love.
No. Other. Reason. He rides in and is just like, āI met the girl Iām going to marry. Now Iāve got a birthday party to be at. Bye Dad.ā
Now how much do you think his dad weighs? That short fat little man? Probably pretty heavy.Not a problem for Prince Philip.
And then he gets jumped by goblins, both hands tied behind his back
But thatās not enough to stop Prince Philip.Oh no.
He breaks his hands free and starts chucking goblins.
Look at that face. That face. The āBITCH JUST YOU WAITā face. He may be tied down by a dozen goblins but heās not gonna take no shit from this witch.
In fact, heās so strong, she ends up keeping him chained to the wall, but he still fights back.
Now when he finally does get freeā
Heās ready to go into battle UNARMED. He donāt need no shield or sword, heās going to go punch Maleficentās face in with his fist. If Flora didnāt stop him, he probably would have, too.
Backed up against a cliff edge, nowhere to go. Fighting off goblins. But thereās so many and just one Philip.
NBD IāLL JUST JUMP AND SLIDE DOWN THE ROCK PILE IN MY SKIN-TIGHT TIGHTS.
who gives a fuck? certainly not prince philip.
Lighting hitting rocks around me?
Bitch, get out of my way. Iāve got a princess to save.
Fire? Dragon? Burning dry twigs? No. Fucking. Problem.
Just smack that bitch on the nose.
Sheer cliff face? Fire burning behind me? Back to a wall?
Calm down guys, I got this.
IāLL JUST FUCKING SCALE IT ONE-HANDED.
And fight the bloody beast from 500 feet high, with literally nothing to save me if I fall.
Lose the shield off the cliff?
JUST STAND THERE AND SMILE āCAUSE IāVE GOT A FUCKING MAGIC SWORD THATāS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEART BITCH.
Just chuck it. Straight through.
Then jump out of the wayā¦
And survive. Thatās what happens to bitches who mess with the woman I love.
thatās how he EARNED his happily ever after.
Srsly. The most bad. ass. prince. disney ever wrote.
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