You thought Robert was feral before? Just wait until his kids settle in and he gets attached. Nobody’s messing with his kids, dude. Nobody’s telling Sunny to stop talking, nobody’s yelling at James for not talking. Hell, someone looks at his kids wrong and his hackles are raised. God help you if you bump into them in the elevator.
He has this Voice he uses now when he’s being overprotective, like his I’m Pissed Off Because You Guys Won't Stop Fucking Around voice, but worse. The team calls it his Daddy Voice—out of earshot of the kids, obviously—and it’s definitely gotten Flambae Flambae Flambae some of them a little hot under the collar.
The first time he ever used the Daddy Voice:
“So, I called this meeting to discuss the change in my schedule,” Robert says formally, hoping to get this out of the way quickly so the team can get on the field.
No such luck. He really should have known better.
“Yo, Bobert, how’s things with the Juniors?” Sonar asks.
“Yeah,” Malevola says, her tail curling curiously in the air. “When are you introducing us to the tots, Rob?”
“I’d like ta meet the little tykes,” Punch Up agrees, smiling at Robert. “Give ‘em a proper welcome to the Z-Team family.”
“I’m gonna let them get settled in a little before I bring them in,” Robert tells them bluntly. “Your brand of ‘welcoming’ might be a little much for them at the moment.”
“Are we taking bets on who’s gonna be the favorite?” Malevola asks. “Because I’m totally putting money on myself.”
“I–I’m pretty good at—with—kids like me,” Waterboy chimes in.
“Please,” Visi scoffs, “we’re talking about Robert’s kids here. They’re gonna walk all over you, dude.”
“If they’re that much like Robert, they’re gonna like Chase the best,” Golem rumbles.
“They’ve already met Chase,” Robert tells them, “Now—”
“Chase doesn’t count anyway,” Visi dismisses, waving his hand. “We already know he’s good with Robertsons.”
“Are we counting Mandy?” Coupé asks.
“Might as well,” Visi snorts. “Have you seen her with kids? Awkward is not a strong enough word.”
“I think she makes a commendable effort,” Phenomaman says diplomatically.
“Uh, clearly you’re all forgetting someone,” Flambae says loudly, and then when no one bites, “Hello, me? My niece literally thinks I’m the coolest person in the world. I’m fucking fantastic with children.”
“Doubt that’ll help. They’re Robert’s kids, remember?” Visi stresses, smirking at him. “If they’re anything like him…”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Flambae squawks.
“Don’t get him started,” Prism sighs.
“We’re getting off the subject,” Robert interjects. “What I was getting at is that the kids get out of school at three. Chase has been taking afternoons off to look after them, but that’s not feasible in the long run. I’m planning on switching my hero hours from afternoons to mornings so the kids can hang out while I dispatch, as well as taking a couple afternoons a week off.
“I know it’s a lot to ask,” he admits. “We’ve gotten used to doing afternoons together, and if I’m dispatching during those hours, my hero workload will be put on you—”
“Hello, 911?” Sonar interrupts, holding an imaginary phone to one giant ear. “My dispatcher wants to put his load on me?”
“Very cute,” Robert says witheringly. “While I have you here: those types of jokes? The sexual ones you guys slip into every conversation?”
“Don’t say them in front of my kids or you’ll regret it,” Robert says darkly, meaning every word.
“Oooh, that kinda made me shiver,” Malevola says gleefully. “I love the new Daddy Voice, Robert.”
“Yeah, can you say that again but more growly?” Sonar teases. “I don’t think I heard you clearly the first time.”
Robert pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.
(“You good, Bae?” Prism nudges Flambae, smirking up at him.
“Fine,” Flambae says tightly, arms crossed over his chest. His ears are tinted red, and the air above them is just a little distorted. “Why?”
Prism stares at him over her visor, appalled at his audacity. “Boy, you know damn well why.”
“No I don’t,” Flambae insists, voice would-be innocent as he very obviously glances at Robert to check if he’s listening. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Uh huh,” she says doubtfully. “Keep running. Sooner or later it’s gonna catch up to you, and I’m gonna be right there watching your ass crash and burn.”
“I will also be watching,” Coupé volunteers from directly behind them. Flambae jumps like a startled cat, whirling around to gawk at her.
“What the fuck?” he says loudly, getting the attention of the rest of the room. "Keep that voyeur shit between you and Punch Up!"
“And on that note,” Robert says dryly, snapping and throwing up a lazy set of finger guns, “let’s get to work, team.”)
