Lumineuse

a scattered beam of who I am.

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

While I’m eating some delicious, fresh strawberries and blackberries, I start thinking about life and the way it works.

As a person who has suffered from depression and OCD for years, and who has stayed in her room for the past two days, I keep resenting the people I used to love and care for, and who used to care for me. I find myself thinking about my memories from when I used to shine and glow among the people around me -which I don't feel like anymore-

Life after high school is completely different. For me, my biggest challenge is to stop being afraid of being lonely. I’m not a big fan of myself not even a friend. I don’t like myself, and I don’t even know who I am, which makes me live without meaning, only looking for a love that will fulfill me

I’m not an optimistic person it’s easy for me to slip back into my misery and melancholy. But I felt like life was worth living when I started eating those delicious fruits. It’s a simple thing, but it means a lot when you think about it deeply.

Maybe enjoying a little detail is the secret to reaching happiness, or at least sparking hope within the human soul.

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

Keep letting me down

It’s so funny watching you do that

Keep doing it until my need for you fades forever

until I finally give up on you

and become free again

bleeding alone is easier

than bleeding while waiting for someone to hold you and never coming

[speakingspirals]

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

I can’t get angry at you bc seeing you act nonchalant, get mad, and treat me like I’m some crazy bitch drives me insane so I end up turning the anger on myself instead

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

“God, if I’m meant to be alone, please take away my desire to feel loved.”

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

Artist's Impression of an Active Galactic Nucleus (AGN) and Supermassive Black Hole

Source: NASA / ESA

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

Why the tears, little moth?

Why the sorrow?

The moon has grown distant

so distant that its light can no longer be seen.

And now,

these small glowing lights keep appearing before you in the dark.

How beautiful they are.

How warm, how comforting their glow seems

within this eternal darkness.

Even though it hurts.

Even though getting close burns you,

slowly melting your wings

forever.

You cannot turn away

And still, you move closer.

“Nocturnal moths continue circling light even as it burns them. That’s why they became a symbol of things that wound a person, yet still draw them closer.”

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

“To say that you abandoned me would be very unjust, but that I was abandoned, and at times horribly, is true.”

- Franz Kafka

[disqualifiedashumanbeing]

Common Nightingale

The Common Nightingale is a bird renowned for its nocturnal song, which is why it became symbolically intertwined with love and longing, beautiful sorrow and suffering, freedom, expression, and the authentic voice. It also came to embody hope amidst the darkness. Its English name, Nightingale, literally translates to 'night singer' (from night and the Old English galan, meaning to sing), capturing its unique habit of singing through the night.

In Persian and Sufi literature, the nightingale represents the passionate lover or the human soul searching for ultimate truth, while the Rose symbolizes the beloved or divine perfection. Thus, the imagery of 'the nightingale and the rose' became a profound symbol of love and the pursuit of perfection despite the inevitable pain.

In Greek mythology, the nightingale was associated with the concept of the silenced voice and the sublime transformation of suffering into art through the tragic myth of Philomela. Later, in European literature, it evolved into an enduring symbol of eternal beauty and a poetic escape from the harshness of reality.