wake up

Maia tried to relax as soon as Hazel reassured her. She felt guilty but maybe this was a step in the right direction. Maybe now that the two have seen each other Maia could actually stop pushing people away for a change. She wasn't sure an old habit like that could be changed but maybe it could for Hazel.

She watched Hazel closely, just observing how much has changed in the other since time has passed. "Oh that's okay, honestly that's one of the reasons I don't have a car. Can't lose what you don't have." Plus Maia didn't want to say that she was scared shitless of being in a car accident as well. At Hazel's question Maia just shrugged. "Elyse is a determined little thing, never lets me go radio silent for too long. Sometimes I write letters to Jules or Tessa but beyond that not much. Do you?" She suddenly was curious how everyone else has been.

lips slightly curled. there was so much shared between the two women, and yet so much they didn't know due to separation. "oh, to not have a vehicle sounds heavenly." one less responsibility to take care of. means of transportation had made hazel nervous, but what hadn't? the woman was easily rattled down to the marrow of her bones. just rattled. as light as the term was, the truth was that they had lost a lot. the loss felt detrimental — "elyse." a warm grin took over hazels expressions as they stood waiting for their car.

"letters sound lovely." gentle. just a reminder of the ties between them, but enough space to not drown in the harsh memory. "i went to a gathering leni and emery had..." she quietly recalled. laughter that clouded any bound secrets kept. "drank a little too much if im honest." it wasn't often hazel let herself go, but she'd been nervous. the faces were a reminder of all that was left.. all that she lost. eloise.. — and she had.. a blurry haze of leaving with edith. waking up in her bed. hazel's brows slightly scrunched before she eased. "for the sake of them announcing they married, i suppose. always thought they would tie the knot." there was good that came from such tragedy.

hollywocd

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starter: open location: The forest

Eloise was among the forest, trying to gather as much food as she could recognize. She didn't know how far she went, just trusted that she'll find her way back somehow. Time seemed to move differently out there for her, so Eloise frankly stopped trying to tame it. "I know, I'm sorry." She whispered soothingly as she picked some berries from a bush, careful to do it as fast as painless as she could. Walking a few more feet to the trees, Eloise put her hand on a large trunk. It felt like it was talking to her. Issuing a warning.

"We're trying to leave as fast as we can. But we need rescue first." Eloise said as tears started filling up. "You won't even know we're here, I promise." She wasn't quite sure what was being said back to her. It sounded distorted but like she could almost make out words if she just tried a little harder. But as soon as she did she heard someone behind her, practically making Eloise jump out of her skin. "Sorry I didn't know anyone else was out here." She offered as if she wasn't just talking to herself or whatever else was out in the wilderness with her.

#( hazel d. // interactions. )#( hazel x eloise. )

each step created a snapping sound. the reaction was a deep unease. it left hazel unsettled as she walked the thick of the wood alone. isolation allowed her own fears to crawl inward. she could quicken her pace, but they'd catch up. fear would dig its claws into her skin. puncture down until it would become hard to breathe. hazel's lungs took harsher breathes as she carried herself further seeking the one person who brought her back down to earth. eloise.

there she was. whispering against a tree. or humming. hazel's mind felt too fogged from the suffocating nature all around them. "i haven't seen you all morning." worried. with trembling fingers, hazel reached out to caress her sisters dark hair. her mouth didn't dare to admit that she'd been ill through hours of not knowing where the other had been. she'd only thought the worst. trying to collect her breath, hazel's eyes looked to eloise's hands. "are those berries?"

"And trust me their small town lives are boring. Maybe that's why I stay there." Boring was nice. Boring was normal. And frankly she always wanted something normal. Maia looked over Hazel and smiled. "Well I'm sorry we haven't seen each other before now." Which Maia knew was probably her fault. It was hard for her to be around the others. Hard to admit the things they have seen or did. When they all got back Maia pulled away as much as the team would let her and even though she regretted it almost immediately she still tried to keep it up.

Because they were different. Maia immediately trusted them and loved them more than any outsider she has ever met or would ever meet. The power they held over each other scared her. "Yeah? You sure that would be okay with you?" But that doesn't mean that Maia wouldn't crumble immediately to that power. "That sounds like a perfect day honestly. Plus it would be nice to catch up."

hazel could see the appeal to blending in with bland surroundings. the life they'd been forced to live was full of experience. one that over filled their cup. having a life full of mundane sounded quaint. relaxing almost. if hazel could ever imagine such a life. she chose an opposite route. thinking that the city life would drown out what haunted her. so much noise disconnected from her own. "no need to apologize." lips pressed, hazel couldn't help but silently reassure. they were here together now.

her thumbs were tending to collect a car. "sometimes these buildings block out signal." the woman was moving in circles on the sidewalk. trying to match the route of the car with what street they were on. "more than okay." hazel hadn't had many visitors. she'd always rather go to company rather than have them step in her own space. it felt more vulnerable. "do you see any of the others?" she asked looking over to maia.

ladiesofcinema

RACHEL WEISZ Actors on Actors | Variety

Maia nodded at Hazel's answer. It was hard for any of them to be truly okay but their version of the answer was complicated to say the least. Maia was sure Hazel was plagued by the same nightmares and guilt that plagued all of the survivors. It was their normal but hey at least they weren't doing any worse.

"Do you? I do a lot of work here." Maia asked shocked, she barely kept up with most of them after everything so it was a surprise to her that she and Hazel may have been in each other's spaces without realizing it. "See I feel the same way about my small town. Sure people know who I am but they at least have the decency to not get me to talk anymore. But that doesn't mean they're not nosy in other ways." Maia listened with intent, genuinely wanting to know what the other had been up to. "I'll have to come visit some time and see all your hard work." She said, meaning it. "Just for the day. Honestly I'm done with what I need to be doing here, was just looking for excuses to not have to go home just yet."

"people always feel a need to stick their noses in other peoples business. gives them a break from their own life." a small nod, "been a handful of years." and yet it took today to run into one another. not by mistake. hazel had orbited maia hoping to fall back into familiarity with one another. a city full of people, and she had been searching for one. it wasn't verbally noted that hazel understood a need for distance. to her, the people who lived through the same trauma had felt vital to her. no one else understood, and to some degree, hazel only felt she could be truly seen by the ones who endured the same experience.

all other relationships felt exhausting. like a facade she had put on. "heading back to town tonight? if it isn't too much you could always stay with me tonight?" the offer felt bold, but time felt precious with maia. who knew how long it would be until they saw one another again. "if so, i can show you where i work tomorrow. make a day of it, if you don't have anywhere to be."

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"Oh." It's all Tessa can muster in the moment, her body still brimming with adrenaline even though the immediate threat seemed to be gone. There is something about Hazel's words that don't seem fair. Tessa had run into Juliet - her sister was safe. But Hazel hadn't seen hers yet. Not since the plane went down. "She's... I bet she's okay, too." But she doesn't really have any reason to think that. People were dead. Right there. Their friends and teammates.

"Yeah," Tessa agrees, her own hands lifting to rub at her ears, though she's not sure she wants to hear any better than she is now. Maybe the ringing was better than the screaming and crying and general pandemonium that was still ongoing around them. "We can - I can help you look for her? Eloise? Or. I don't know." Was there something they were supposed to be doing?

#( hazel d. // interactions. )#( hazel x tessa. )

she'd already been sick twice. a mess spewed at arrival of her consciousness fading back. what was left of the plane, smokey, crimson, ...the smell...had churned her stomach instantly. the second time had been moments ago...or how long ago...it'd been abrupt after catching a sight of blood speckled converse. one of her shoes was untied. her mind currently had the inability to connect any motor skills. "yeah—y...you're right." hazels mouth clicked with the trembled syllables. cotton like. "she's okay." speaking it again felt more convincing to her brain.

fingers splayed at her chest trying to feel the fabric of her shirt. it felt real. flashes of the plane spiraling downwards flickered causing hazel's breathing to pick up. "she's okay." again. eloise had to be. having always been ranked above hazel in every skill - social, physical. nothing could have prepared them for this moment. there was no handbook in what to do after your plane crashed, and your loved ones were battered or gone. it felt like moments ago there had been laughter filling the piece of aviation that now lay scattered about the thick wood. laughter turned to screaming. cries of pain and loss. "w-we should.." what exactly, "do a headcount of everyone?" it was a question — hazel never was one to take control, only suggest. even then she didn't feel confident in her own voice. "she's here." another attempt to convince herself.

Maia was bored out of her mind. Of course there were things to do after they were fucking stranded out in the wilderness, but Maia had done her designated chores for the day and frankly the crash was still so new she didn't quite know what to do with herself. So Maia had started walking through the woods to just do something with her time until night fall. She found a little clearing, seeing Hazel was there as well and she waved before deciding to lay down and waste the day away. When she heard Hazel walking forward Maia immediately sat up slightly, but she wasn't expecting a gift. "Wait really?" She asked in both awe and confusion. "No one's ever made me something before. This is beautiful, thank you."

hazel hadn't prepared herself for the acceptance. maia's reaction was generous in thanks leaving the brunette's cheeks to warm. flushed, hazel felt lifted while lifting others. even just a bit. the days weren't so fear filled when they could shed light upon one another. "—you're welcome."

"you just looked so peaceful." a muse easily caught by green and brown eyes. "laying there in the sun. i sort of wanted to join you, but didn't want to disrupt." fingers lifted to play with the ends of her own hair that fell long. when it came to drawing people — hazel enjoyed a candid moment. there was no need to be so posed all of the time. that's when people created a facade.

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There was a numbness wrapping itself around her ribcage, as if to protect the heart within. The good side of her. As a darker part of her came to life, pushed her mental state a bit further with each and every animal she prepared for resources. For warmth from its fur, for the roast from its edible parts, for life from its death. ''I don't...'' her words were quiet, unlike her, when all she could do was stare at the rabbit as it hung getting drained from its blood. Taking a tighter grip around the knife she kept close, she got up from her spot next to Hazel before getting to work, do the one thing she had been the only able to do so far. ''I don't fucking know, Hazel, why don't you pray to the Gods for rescue whilst you're at it.'' Hunger had a mean side and right now Cherie couldn't be bothered to think of putting a few words out for the rabbit she so desperately wanted to devour - and with that thought she cut its head off with no hesitation present.

#( hazel d. // interactions. )#( hazel x cherie. )

fragility was upon her. a snap, and hazel could feel her bottom lip begin to tremble. "ch-cherie. no don't do it." this is what life had become — marked by life. take or be taken. no one had come for them so far, and time had made rations only smaller, and smaller. it was easier to keep a promise to herself that help was coming. they had to come. the terror had approached when fending for themselves was becoming more of a dire need. "f-FUCK!" hands shot up to her ears hoping to block out the sound of cherie's handy work. eyes squeezed tight wishing to erase this from any memory. the image only burned deeper. "holy—" there had been nothing holy of such. cheeks tear burned, "you—" a sudden out of breath feeling sunk hazel into a shock. was she going to have to be violent? decide what would be theirs in order for them to stay alive? to be a taker...

Maia never really saught out the others after they all got back to real life. She distanced herself from most of them, even pushing them away because of her own trauma and guilt of everything. But there were always a tenacious few that found her and Maia always felt like she had to give them credit. And as much as she wanted to push them all away she never admitted how nice it felt to see them again. Because no one has ever cared for Maia as much as the others did, even if Maia opened herself up to outsiders.

"You do too, Hazel." Maia couldn't help but look her over, hating how easily she relaxed around Hazel. As if her body was reminding her what she was running away from. She wanted to say it back, wanted to say how often she thought of her but it made her feel all too vulnerable. And wasn't being vulnerable the thing she was really running from? "You always can." It was a promise to her. They both started aimlessly walking, not that Maia had any real destination but especially now she didn't want to cut it short with Hazel. "How have you been?"

the initial uncertainty had worn off once maia began speaking again. the familiarity accepted, and eased making hazel walk less cautious than before. when asked how she'd been — the woman was never confident in how to answer such a question. doing 'good' felt poisonous to her tongue. like a lie spoken. wrapped in guilt. how could they ever feel such a way with all that they'd witnessed, and done? feeling 'bad' felt tired. overdone. it wasn't pity the woman ever wanted either. so for now, she was — "i've been well."

"i actually live here, in the city." buildings around them allowed wind to weave through blowing loose strands of hazel's hair back. "can't really feel loneliness when you're surrounded by a buzzing city." you could. "it's a nice escape." not often. when she was alone in her home is when the past felt impossible to escape. "i- uh - work at the art museum." filling in the gaps when they had spent so much vulnerable life together felt irrelevant. — regardless, hazel wanted to know the inbetween. it mattered. "are you in the city long ?"

survivcrss

Eloise was a subject she still, after all those years, didn't have the right words for whenever her death was brought up. Those were times she rather stored away, never thought of again - but life kept throwing reminders at her every single day. A regret she had to live with every single day. An act kindness of her parents she'd been reminded of so many times when she was younger, it had been engraved onto her soul, a constant echo that bounced back in the back of her mind. The plane that doomed them all. If only it had been a regular plane, their futures would've looked so much different. Better, perhaps. With teammates that had still been alive. Estranged, perhaps. With families not torn apart, one way or another. Stronger, perhaps. ''Should we, uh ...'' fingers taking a tighter grip around her beer bottle, jesus she was so awkward now, ''make a toast or say something? I don't know, it'll be her birthday soon, right...?'' If she'd still been alive, that was.

#( hazel d. // interactions. )#( hazel x cherie. )

the air between them felt thick. the past always had a way of making itself present. clung to them like sticky burdens — for hazel at least. sometimes she wasn't sure if she'd been punishing herself, or not trying to let go of her sisters memory by allowing her mind to invite it all inward. the wilderness, everything that happened within it could be rather consuming. "maybe her soul can't rest." because of what happened to her body. vessel and soul disconnected. no peace found. only something horrific. "sorry—i think..." brows furrowed. why did she let such a sentence slip. fingers slid over her mouth. a small gesture subconsciously silencing herself from any other dark comment. "alcohol makes the mind spew out, doesn't it?" she shook her head with a winded sigh. "it's nice that you remember her birthday." hazel gently noted, while her eyes fixated on the brown bottle. the color of the glass matching her eyes.

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Rachel Weisz as Angela and Isabel Dodson Constantine (2005) dir. Francis Lawrence

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For everything Elyse had learned about herself in the wilderness and since, she couldn't answer the question why. Why had they survived while others hadn't? Why was she given a second chance at her life? Why did she feel so closely connected to these girls who had hardly even noticed her before all of this, and probably didn't care about her after it, either? Why? Yet she found herself reaching out to each of them from time to time, trying to keep the threads that held them together from breaking. As if they were lifelines carrying her through despite the new connections she'd made and the family she'd formed. The team would always be a different kind of family to her, always. How couldn't they be after what they'd all done to survive?

"You brought these for me?" Elyse repeated as she looked to the stack of books wrapped neatly in a ribbon, trailing her fingers over the spines affectionately. "That's so sweet, Hazel. Thank you." Touching. A reminder that even if they hadn't known her well before, they all did now. Inside and out, bound by the wilderness. But Hazel had always been caring, soft. Even the worst of things couldn't take that from her. Not entirely. "That's okay. Trust me - I definitely understand being busy." Was it the only thing that kept her sane these days?

She reaches out, slowly, carefully, to place a reassuring hand on Hazel's knee. "I always have stories. But is everything okay with you?"

#( hazel d. // interactions. )#( hazel x elyse. )

a warm grin curled. a gatherer. some skills hadn't worn from her mind. even before, hazel had been quiet of spoken words. she was much better at giving gifts. nothing over the top. always something small laced in some tender form. "think you'll really like this one." index finger tapped against the middle book. one she found buried in the back of a bookstore. emerald cover, beautiful binding — constantly pushed to the back by newer books. it was always what was hidden that enticed hazel the most.

a touch. gentle from an outsiders perspective, but the hand felt weighted. knowing that their minds could be pulled down so heavily. time was a testament to how long they'd spent trying to keep their head above water. the wilderness was one part, adapting in the world away from it had been another entirely. especially without her sister. "i'm doing well." she assured. a tongue laced in denial. hazel knew very well how cold nights could be with how often her mind wandered. — and it liked to wander.

"it's been better than before." the pauses had allowed the woman the space to feel the safety beneath elyse's palm. "sleep still doesn't come easily....and when i do i still feel like i'm not in a state of rest." life felt lonely. detached. as warmly natured as her being was, hazel often felt like the embodiment of winter. trying to grasp at rebirth, but still weighted by a chill. a former. lingering prints. "glass or two of wine helps." she eased on a lighter note.

Maia usually liked to stay within her small town. The towns people were nice and left her alone which she always appreciated. It had most everything there and what she didn't have she could get online. But Maia needed to visit her editor in the nearby city, apparently a zoom meeting wasn't enough. She was out getting a coffee and walking the city afterwards when she heard someone call to her. She considered pretending like she didn't hear her. It wasn't unheard of that someone recognized her, especially with the fame of the plane crash but as soon as she asked if she recognized her, Maia turned around. She didn't expect being face to face with Hazel but it definitely softened the blow of being recognized. "Hazel. Of course I recognize you." She said with a small smile. "It's been a long time."

a long time, indeed. distance allowed the mind a moment of peace from the dark reality of their past. the tragedy, the twisted fates. it was best to close that story. sometimes hazel found herself best left in the delusion that none of it had ever happened. she tried her best to create a life of her own without any murmur of it all. a lie would be told if there wasn't some inner feed to be close to the pieces of the crash, the wilderness. maia had been a distant peace. one that left hazel's mind often surrounding wonder. perhaps there was envy in the separation. perhaps there was a need to be close.

"you look well." she hoped. for all of their sake. hazel allowed her eyes to linger. take in the other woman that had become mostly print on pages of her own words. softening to the sight of maia not turning on her, "i've been thinking about you." surely she hadn't been the only one. "mind if i join you?" hazel wasn't sure what it is she wanted from maia. a magnetic pull. no one else could understand. hazel hadn't wanted outsiders to even begin to try.