lonely and unlovable jason todd
mentions of: sad and insecure jason, fluff - i’m sorry for abandoning you guys im slowly coming back i swear
never in jason’s life did he think he’d be loved, let alone bringing someone into it. he was alone for the most of his life, spent countless nights in his cold bed with only a thin blanket to keep him warm, but it never did, nor did he buy a new one because he thought that he wasn’t deserving enough. his apartment was sad to say the least, and old shabby couch that had its fluff coming out and a bathroom so small he could barely fit in, plus a shower that never had warm water.
he had an old thin towel covering his mirror in the bathroom, because he physically couldn’t look at himself.
the rough scars that were engraved on his torso haunted him, a reflection of his dark past and a visual reminder of just how unlovable he really was. he found himself in the usual routine of work, eat, sleep. occasionally going to the downtown shabby gym in the middle of the night with a jumper to ensure that no one sees his scars. then back to his cold bed.
loneliness felt normal, because that was all he ever knew.
essentially, jason deprived himself of everything. he never replaced the old creaky furniture simply because he thought that he wasn’t deserving of it. his apartment looked empty, the bare necessities. despite the heating it always felt cold, colder than it should be. it was unbearable, his skin around the scars would flare up, and he felt like the same abandoned kid he was.
you were the kindest thing, pretty beaming smile with the warmest eyes he’s ever seen. usually, people would stare at him with pity, and if not - disgust.
you didn’t seem to care that he looked like a loser, wearing old shabby clothes with rough scars and callouses all over his hands. it was a long day after work and he found himself at the local dive bar, tucked away in a corner until you came. you didn’t care about his rough appearance or the way he was so awkward and stuttered with every few seconds.
as the relationship progressed and somehow you convinced him to let you move in, his apartment seemed to bloom alongside him. small trinkets, flowers, and thick pink blankets that were draped over the couch and on his bed.
you were a literal sunshine, spreading rainbows and flowers everywhere you went, including his apartment.
his old dimly lit apartment that had the constant hum of the air conditioner and never seemed to be cozy enough changed. instead of coming home to an old lonely apartment, he came home to you in one of his old work shirts cooking his favourite meal. instead of going to bed alone and cold he had you to cuddle up with, your warm soft body in his hands as he snuggled into the crook of your neck.
you pressed soft gentle kisses on the one engraved on his torso, the soft pad of your thumb gently tracing it as you whispered a three word confession that he never got bored of.
and not only did you make him capable of loving someone, you made him love himself.
