my sys blog

22 ~ DID system

[magickscrapbook]

(talking about our system) me : man I wish each one of us had a physical body...

boyfriend : yeah, I wish

me : ...the insane amount of orgies-

[anti-willo-miku]

Some things I think should be talked about more in CDD spaces because I’m tired of pro and anti endos saying “cdd spaces are too alter centric” and then doing absolutely nothing about it:

- Co morbid conditions, including vulnerability to addiction (be normal abt addicts or die by my blade)

- Anhedonia , apathy , or just the general difficulty processing emotion that comes with chronic dissociation

- How damn isolating the condition can be

- How systemhood can intersect and affect/be affected by other identities (the unique experiences of poc systems, physically disabled systems, neurodivergent systems, queer systems, etc)

- Suicidal ideation

- Time loss

- Identity disturbance and issues with identity beyond the existence of alters

- Phobias developed by trauma

- Amnesia and the ways it can manifest

- CDD representation in media, either coded or explicit, and ways you relate to them

- P-DID and OSDD systems and their specific experiences

- How to advocate for yourself as a pwcdd in medical / professional spaces

Although, I can understand why a lot of this stuff isn’t talked about to an extent. It can be deeply personal and dangerous, especially if you participate in syscourse where pro/anti endos or endos themselves may use that information to hurt you for your opinions.

( CDD systems of any stance may interact as long as your intent is not to convince me of non cdd plurality. Non CDD systems please leave, your opinion is not wanted here. Nobody cares what you have to say on this topic. )

[anti-willo-miku]

I think identity disturbance beyond the presence of alters should be talked about more in CDD spaces. Even between individual alters, we often struggle to tell who I am at each time. It’s never a clear cut “X alter likes Y and behaves like Z”.

[oneiromancer-oneirodynia]

she dissociate on my identity till i huh whuh where am i who am i what whar

[ssenograph]

How its going

[pro-recovery-kaito-vocaloid]

Maybe unpopular opinion but I kinda want any and all DID education to stop focusing on the rarity of things and start focusing on the mistreatment of us as trauma survivors...

[bathhousekitty]

No, amnesia isn’t *just* blacking out and coming to like you’ve passed out.

Amnesia is the lack of memory. It’s completely omitted from your mind. It’s akin to trying to remember before you were born. It’s simply impossible! You had no awareness before you’re born, and that lack of awareness is the same for amnesia.

Those who have not experienced it can only piece together what it is like through the accounts of those who have it, which leads to this popular idea of it being a hard transition from point a to point b. (Which it can be!!) But, it’s much more complex than just a singular expression. It can, and in my case, look like your mind blocking off the bad parts of a moment and keeping the parts it’s okay with to fill in the gap of time. That’s why things seem to happen so fast for those of us with it! Because we are experiencing that time— just way faster because we forget half of the moment we experienced.

The way it’s portrayed in such a single, specific way bothers me… （´-`）.｡oO

^ (As a quick edit, my wording was poor when I first wrote this!! Amnesia is not one size fit all and how it’s experienced is different. This is based off my experiences!! Sorry for that 0_0)

[theanalogsystem]

polyfragmented more like polyfagmented. the majority of us are queer

[notabled-noodle]

normal vs disordered: dissociation edition

normal: losing touch with reality whilst focusing incredibly hard on something

not normal: losing touch with reality when not otherwise engaged with something else. losing touch with reality to the extent that you can’t go about your daily tasks

normal: feeling numb after hearing some big news (positive or negative)

not normal: feeling numb most (or all) of the time

normal: feeling floaty or foggy after an exhausting day or week

not normal: feeling floaty or foggy for seemingly no reason, or when you’re otherwise not exhausted

normal: after reading a book or watching a film, it takes you a while to get your brain plugged back into the real world

not normal: you feel unplugged from reality even without having engaged with media intensely

normal: you daydream to pass the time, or when you have nothing else to do

not normal: you daydream as a way of escaping from reality, and it gets in the way of your daily tasks

(these are all on a spectrum! everyone experiences dissociation, but the key is that it becomes irregular when it gets in the way of you being able to do what you need to do)

[woodpengu]

Wanted to leave this as a comment: the definition of a psychological disorder is ALWAYS characterized by distress. If it doesn't involve [dysfunctional] distress, then it tends to be treated as healthy.

Dissociating due to exhaustion or stress is not distressing because it's not dysfunctional; the nervous system is protecting itself from harm in an appropriate manner. Dissociation that happens in order to protect the brain from non-existent threats, stressors, or misinterpreting 'tired' as 'running for your life' is distressing because it IS dysfunctional. The difference is important to acknowledge.

[changelingcoded]

[semiplural]

The Problems with Emotional Amnesia

So it turns out that it's really hard to give someone a fair assessment of your system's overall mental health needs when your brainmate's crisis feels completely inconsequential to you.

[lady-valyria]

Childhood experiences I had that, in retrospect, were early signs of my DID:

1. I used to tell my friends that I could “turn off my feelings”, or “become the part of me who wasn’t sensitive” when things would hurt me.

2. I was convinced parallel universes existed because I could “feel the presence” of my favorite character at all times. (Said character is now known to be a part).

3. I would constantly speak in slightly different accents and voices, uncontrollably, and thought it was a form of extreme masking.

4. I had a VERY strong sense of self, but that sense of self shifted multiple times a day. From (for example) “I am a brilliant girl who is going to be a surgeon,” to “I am an awkward guy who’s going to become a writer.”

5. I was often told I wasn’t acting like myself. “You’re never this quiet,” “I remember you being more serious”. I seemed like an extraordinarily multifaceted person to outsiders.

6. I would “lose my train out thought” about a dozen times a day. Mid conversation, I would completely forget what I was talking about, and then snap back into it a moment later. (Switching)

6b. Oftentimes when I would “snap back”, I would have a totally different opinion than moments before.

7. I had multiple different friend groups to accommodate the “different parts of me.” I felt like no single group of people could possibly appreciate every part of me.

8. I CONSTANTLY daydreamed and zoned out, to the point that it was frequently brought up in parent teacher conferences.

And these are just some of the ones off the top of my head, and from a specific period in my life. It’s wild how obvious it was in retrospect! I’m sure some people can relate to these.

[chaosandmadnesscoll]

Today I had the thought of "what if I dissociate too much to have DID"

No one is as good at being in denial as me/silly

[kittycatutaite]

Small reminder that DID is often a covert disorder and overt DID is actually pretty rare. A person could go their whole life without knowing they have DID because that's the point. You do not need to know who you are all the time or who's fronting or need to feel like you're a faker because you act the same pretty much all the time. You do not need to act drastically different between your headmates to be valid.

[anti-willo-miku]

Please don’t judge yourself for your alters I’m begging you. They are not a reflection of your moral character, they are your brain trying to survive what you’ve been through. Every part of you deserves kindness and compassion.

[thelasttreeline]

REMINDER: systems can change over time. growth and shift do not mean you were wrong before, the answers are just different now.

[syscultureis]

sys culture is just being confused all the fucking time

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