look at the stars

badgerdom-deactivated20201209

I Can’t Pretend || Dethan F2F

[She almost laughed out loud at how surprised he seemed that she wasn’t avoiding him like the plague, for once. But she didn’t. A few months ago, she probably would have stomped on his foot and stormed out of the room as soon as she realized that he was sitting next to her. A couple of months before that, she would have sat on his lap and played with his hair until their drinks got there. Now she just felt… empty. Unfulfilled. Nothing felt like it had meaning anymore, and she hated herself for it. She hated that she looked at Ethan and couldn’t even feel angry with him anymore. Despair, a vague rush of attraction, and an underlying resentfulness beneath the surface, were all she could feel.]

“I don’t care. Something strong.”

[She turned her head toward him, watching him carefully as he gestured for the bartender to come over. He was fidgeting. Nervous, probably. Once they made eye contact, she lowered her gaze down to the counter in front of her.]

“So. What have you been up to?”

#f2f: icantpretend #f2f: all #all: dom

[Ethan tried to watch her face for any sign of what was happening as he signaled to the bartender. It was possible she would try and kill him, he probably deserved that. I was possible she was getting as good at repressing her emotions as he was, but he didn’t like that idea. Dom was supposed to be the sun and he was supposed to be the stars. Having her turn into the darkness because of him didn’t seem fair, she deserved better. The barkeep walked over.]

“I’ll take a firewhiskey please, a lemonade on the side to split it.]

[He looked at her to approve the order, although he knew in all likelihood she’d drink it straight to prove a point even if it would taste god awful. He cleared his throat as he looked away as well, trying to keep himself from staring.]

“Still working for Loki.”

[No other place would hire him, not with the current political climate and his father being the part of the former Death Eaters brigade. It turned out that he didn’t even need to confess to his own crimes to mortally wound his prospects.]

“How have you been?” [He tried to keep the worry and genuine desperation to know out of his voice, and he mostly succeeded. He’d gotten good at his game face over the years.]

blossomfully

How dangerous,” she thought, “to finally have something worth losing.

Ten word story (via blossomfully)

#scrapbook #about: dom #quotes

I Can’t Pretend || Dethan F2F

[Something inside of her chest squeezed painfully as soon as she heard a familiar voice. Glancing at the man next to her, the one she had just tried hitting on, she felt herself pause as soon as she got a glimpse of his profile. Her breath stuttered as she got a hold of herself - it had been so long since she had seen anyone that she used to know, that she couldn’t have anticipated running into Ethan Yaxley of all people at a dingy bar of all places. It was unexpected to say the least, but the situation she found herself in.

Dom remembered the last time they had seen one another, and how explosive their fight had been in the castle. Cutting contact off from nearly everyone she had been friends with had been difficult- even Ethan still had a…. special place in her heart. Maybe that’s why she didn’t walk out of the bar right then. Instead, she straightened up and gestured over to the cup that he seemed intent on staring into, before speaking up and repeating her request for him.]

“Are you getting me something to drink or do I need to find someone who will?”

[She started, a little bite in her voice which was mostly overpowered by the sheer boredom in her tone. This kind of thing had stopped being fun about a month ago. Dom couldn’t help herself when she let her eyes flitted back over to him, feeling more curiosity as to why he was here than anything else.]

#f2f: all #f2f: dom #f2f: icantpretend

[Ethan felt his eyes widen in spite of himself. Just about the last thing he’d expected was to have Dom willingly let him buy her a drink. If it weren’t for the faintly awful smell coming from the man on his other side, Ethan would have assumed it was a dream. He was good at pushing Dom out of his head during waking hours - he’d learned not to spend time thinking about painful things a long time ago - but he didn’t have any control over his sleeping mind. He’d see her face that first night at the carnival, feel the warmth of her all snuggle up against him in his bed and wake up snuggling a pillow. His conscience didn’t let him off that easy though. He also saw her face as she watched her parents take their last breathes. And the way her face had turned from utter love for him to utter disgust in the course of an hour. He woke up in cold sweats after trying to change things and failing every time. Knowing somewhere out there she still hated him.]

“Pick your poison, Pizza Weasley.”

[He tried to keep his tone neutral as he signaled to the bartender, but he could feel his heart rate rising in his chest. He could feel himself being overwhelmed by her smell after so long without it. He could feel everything and he kind of hated her for it.]

I Can’t Pretend || Dethan F2F

[It had been a long day to say the least. Sure, Dom didn’t really do all that much working while she was out doing photoshoots, but at least she had something to bide her time with. Ever since she had turned her resignation letter in to Xavier, things felt a little more… calm. She had her moments sometimes, but for the most part, she had done a good job of running away from all of her responsibilities. She hadn’t seen her siblings in… Merlin knows how long; ever since Lou came back home over spring break and had a full-fledged melt-down when Dom insisted that he had to go back to Hogwarts, things had been different. Vic took him back to France with her, and it was probably for the best. He was at Beauxbatons now. He could start over.

Dom didn’t have that luxury. That’s how she found herself in a dingy Muggle bar on a Monday night, coming off of the high from her fourth shot of tequila. This was her escape, in some ways. It had been three months since the wedding. Two months since she had last seen Ethan or any of the people she once called her friends (other than Flora and Josh, of course). She just needed to escape for another night. That’s why she was here. As soon as she spotted a man sitting at the bar, she looked him over. Broad shoulders, messy dark hair, tan skin, broody body language… This was exactly what she needed.]

“Buy me a drink? I could really use one.”

[Trailing her index and middle finger up his back before sliding her hand down the stranger’s arm, Dom hopped into the seat next to him, not bothering to look at his face as she looked ahead at the bar expectantly. As soon as she spoke next, she flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her legs.]

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

#f2f: all #f2f: dom #f2f: icantpretend #all: dom

[Ethan had been very good at drinking once. He and Astrid had excelled in sitting silently with a bottle of Jameson between them and looking up at the sky, pretending neither of them had any problems. Astrid had broken occasionally, breaking her cruel facade to talk about her actual feelings. Ethan had always been good about keeping all of his problems with his father and his secret wants for his life buried deep down where they couldn’t hurt him or disappoint him. He’d learned his lesson about getting his hopes up as a kid.

And yet, since the Red Wedding, he’d been failing miserably at keeping it all bottled up. Maybe it was the constant of Sam’s final living moments flashing through his mind. Maybe it was the scream of absolute terror that Rose gave when Hunter - a pureblood, not even a blood traitor in most regards - had been hit by a killing curse. But most likely it was the look on Dom’s face when he told her he loved her and then the way it morphed a minute later when she realized who he really was.

There were certain things you could fix with whiskey, apparently. It had just taken him a lot longer to find his. And to start drinking at a bar instead of at home because every little noise made him jump in his flat, like someone was going to come for him next. And maybe they would, maybe he really did deserve to be in Azkaban.

He jumped a mile as he heard a familiar voice in his ear, but he frowned when he heard the implication.]

“So you’re back to your old game, Weasley?”

[He tried to push away the vaguely cloudy way his head felt after two months of not seeing her, staring down into his glass and trying not to get attached to her presence. It was only a matter of minutes until she stormed away from him again.]

READY OR NOT | DETHAN F2F

[For a few moments there, Dom almost thought that Ethan’s resolve was cracking - that he would apologize for everything and that it would somehow mean enough for her to forgive and forget. As soon as she saw something shift in his eyes, her own expression twisted into something almost unrecognizable. An ugly snarl curved onto her face as disappointment and resentment pooled in her stomach. Her eyes prickled with angry tears, Dominique releasing one long shallow breath to channel all of her feelings into pure fury.

She felt anger radiating off of her as he spat his next words out at her. He was jeering at her. Mocking her. Laughing at her. Everyone played with her heart enough that she thought they wouldn’t break it, and then they hurt her time and time again. Everyone laughed at her. Insecurity twisted inside of her as she felt each word he spoke pierce into her, so much that she couldn’t take it anymore. In one uncoordinated motion, she shoved his shoulder to push him backward. Her face was contorted with poorly concealed hurt, knowing she probably looked like she was about to cry but tried to make up for it by firing back.]

“No thanks. Been there, done that. And honestly? Sleeping with you was exhausting. It’s probably going to be a relief to use Dunc as my break-up dick.”

[Dom felt some weird, sick part of her celebrate at the fact that she was actually saying something back instead of letting him win. She wanted him to hurt, and there was only so much she could try to use about his father. Come to think of it, he had never really said much about Mr. Yaxley. Did Dom even know anything about Ethan? The sadder she got, the angrier she felt, and that’s what spurned her on to continue her rant, poking Ethan’s chest with her finger as she approached him again, getting into his face as she raised her voice.]

“I probably would have cheated on you with him anyways. It’s not like you had that much to offer me in the first place. What would I have wanted with a cowardly asshole anyways? First thing you did after the Brotherhood showed up was run away from me- the fact that you’re one of them makes you even more pathetic. Fuck your family. Fuck anyone and everyone who’s kept you alive this whole time. Staying alive isn’t worth what you’ll have to live with. You’ll never be happy. You’ll never be satisfied. You’re a homicidal maniac who’ll never know what it feels like to truly love someone. As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead already. But whatever. At least I get to die with honor.”

#f2f: all #f2f: dom #f2f: readyornot

[Ethan felt his jaw clench at Finch-Fletchley’s name. His fist curled and all he wanted to do was go find the stupid History of Magic TA and punch him in the god-damned face. Sure, Ethan wasn’t good enough for Dom but the stupid Hufflepuff wasn’t either. He’d fucked Pierce and then lied through his teeth about it when the universe had played a round of “what comes around, goes around” on him. And if she was thinking of using him to make him jealous. Well, fuck, so okay it was totally and completely working. He wanted to pummel the walking q-tip into oblivion.

Instead, he tried to rise above the bait. Thinking back to the times he’d been with Dom, electric and fast-paced. He smirked to himself slightly, she was one hell of an actress if she’d been faking it. And from the way she was currently poorly making her emotions, she wasn’t.]

“I imagine finally having an orgasm after years of laying under Puckerman singing his own praises and Flinch-Fuckly screaming Brittany’s name was tiring. But if you’d like to suffer through Jackson falling asleep on top of you, I suppose that’s your right.” [He smirked, purposefully getting Justin’s name wrong to show just how little he cared for the twerp. Or the way he’d always been trying to get back in Dom’s good graces, even when Ethan had been dating her.]

“No, you wouldn’t have,” [He said soberly for a moment, remembering the few moments at the wedding before everything had happened. The way Dom had looked at him, the way she’d kissed him. If he hadn’t been such a fuck up…if his family wasn’t toxic as all hell. They could have been happy. They would have been. Not that it would ever happen now, it was too late for him to redeem himself.] “I could have run before,” [He croaked, looking back up at her.] “I could have gone off too the restroom and showed back up to apparate you out just as soon as the damage was done. I’m a lot of things but I’m not a bloody fucking coward. Don’t rewrite history. You can call me a liar and a monster and whatever else you like, Weasel, but I let you see me for what I really was. Even though I knew I’d lose the only person I’d ever love. So fuck you if you think I’m spineless.” [He laughed cruelly, trying to mask his upset at the thought of Dom dying. Lifeless as her parents were that winter night. No, he wouldn’t let it happen. They’d only get to her if he was dead.] “What good is honor if you’re in a grave? Too cold and lifeless to watch your children grow up or meet your first grandchild. Dying is easy, living with yourself is hard.”

78whisperstarot

#scrapbook #divination

READY OR NOT | DETHAN F2F

[Dom knew that she was overreacting on a massive scale, especially since this whole altercation easily could have been resolved if she had just lowered her head and moved past him when she had the chance. When a familiar nickname hit her ears, she felt like a brick had been thrown at her. She remembered the way she used to react to him when he called her that. It used to be her fucked-up way of flirting with him; the eyelash-batting, the ‘royalty can do no wrong’ quip, the mockingly scathing looks… it was almost ironic to think back on where they had started now that everything had gone down the way it did between them. It took Dom a few seconds to shake herself out of the silent trance she had gone into, realizing that he was probably standing around and waiting for her to fire back. Anger seeped back into her as soon as she realized that her eyes had drifted down to his mouth in the middle of her broody fuming session.]

“I’ve heard worse apologies, but that one really doesn’t cut it.” [She remarked snidely. If he was going to treat her like a brat, she was going to act like one. Dominique tried to give off the air that she couldn’t care less about what he did next, half-tempted to reach for her phone and check it obnoxiously when she was done.] “You’ve got twenty seconds to come up with a better one, dickwad.” [Dom paused for a moment before she spoke up next, knowing that she was about to cross into dangerous territory, especially since there weren’t any witnesses around.]

“Really? Huh. Well, color me surprised. I’m surprised you spent that much time watching them and not, y’know, finishing up Daddy’s dirty-work.” [Stepping closer to Ethan, Dom felt a wry smile flash across her face as she continued speaking, this time more out of spite than because she was obstinate.] “I’m sure he’d appreciate your dedication to the cause. You’d probably toast on it together - I was wrong before. He’ll probably be overjoyed that his son managed to bang a Veela and kill her family and friends all in one go. You sure are one hell of a legacy, Yaxley.”

#f2f: all #f2f: dom #f2f: readyornot

[Ethan knew that he should be groveling when it came to Dom. He’d already hurt her enough. Not just with her parents dying but also with completely lying about who he was as a person. Not that he didn’t do the same with just about everyone, save maybe Astrid or Lauren, but it was different with her. He had cared about her enough to know she was entirely too good for him, he cared about her so much that she deserved to know the truth about what was lurking under his carefully crafted mask. The thing was, if he let her see what was going on in his head, even now, there was a chance that she’d see it as the possibility of a new leaf, a reconciliation with the part of his soul that wasn’t irreparably damaged. And he knew himself well enough to know that he would never change, not the way she wanted him too and could come to believe he would. So it was just easier to let her hate him.]

[He held her gaze for a moment, tempted to give into her demand but then he forced himself to harden his eyes.] “Fuck you, Weasley,” [He growled, knitting his eyebrows in mock anger.] “How’s that for an apology?” [He held his glare, trying to stand firm in his resolve to be a total and complete jackass. It had never been hard for him before.]

[Ethan felt his blood boil as she talked about his father. He had never wanted to become like the twisted old man, sadistic and violent and powerless. Yet he’d let himself become used and abused and molded into that exactly. Maybe he was just doomed to repeat his father’s mistakes. Damage his heart so irreparably that he had no choice but to turn it off.] “At least my legacy will keep me alive.” [Sometimes turning it off was just easier.]

READY OR NOT | DETHAN F2F

[Her desperation to flee the scene before any awkwardness seeped into the conversation was replaced by irritation as soon as he leaned back and spoke up.] “Or, you know, you could watch where you’re going next time.” [Dom’s gritted her teeth, all while trying not to lose her temper with him in the middle of the castle. She crossed her arms over her chest obstinately as she held eye contact with him as long as she could, suddenly empowered by her ex’s shitty attitude. It was like he lit a fuse in her every time they talked to each other.] “Being less of a git might also help you out a little.”

#f2f: all #f2f: dom #f2f: readyornot

[He snorted. If he was honest the accident had been at least partially his fault but honesty wasn’t exactly something he was good at.] “Excuse you, Your Highness,” [He glowered from his spot.] “You walked into me.” [Ethan knew that bringing his former nickname from fifth year up might not exactly be the best course of action but he also knew it was sure to piss Dom off. He held her gaze firmly, narrowing his eyes at her.] “Sorry, I’m just embracing my new aesthetic. It’s called jackass, I learned it from watching your cousins.”

READY OR NOT | DETHAN F2F

[Dom took a step backwards as soon as she met Ethan’s gaze, her posture straightening a little as she tried to make herself look a little bigger. She wasn’t scared of him. She spared a second to glance over her shoulder, praying that Alice would come out to find her a way out of this conversation. She had only talked to her briefly at the party before bolting, but it seemed like her surest bet. She tried not to jump when she heard a crackling noise coming from the party, scowling when she realized that it was probably just some stupid kids - or Fred - playing around with firecrackers. Laughter followed a few minutes later so Dom refocused her attention on Ethan, mentally trying to calculate how fast she would have to run to reach the door and escape this situation.]

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

#f2f: all #f2f: readyornot #f2f: dom

[Ethan watched as Dom’s tried to make herself bigger. He was well-aware of the move it was one he often made with his father, even though he now towered over the man. He wasn’t going to try and intimidate her though, unlike his father would have. He moved easily so his back was against the wall. Allowing her to pass if she wanted to.] “A simple excuse me would have sufficed,” [He grumbled, looking at her and feeling a bit of anger stirring up inside him. He wasn’t sure if it was towards her or himself, but it was certainly easier to take it out on his ex.]

READY OR NOT | DETHAN F2F

[Dom wasn’t really sure what she was doing anymore. Going to Hogwarts students’ ragers hadn’t really been in her job description when she agreed to be the school ‘robe mender’, whatever that meant. After taking a few shots, the fact that she was among kids hit her kind of hard. Flora was already long gone, having peaced out almost immediately after they had gotten the chicken nuggets into Ravenclaw Tower. Deciding that being buzzed was definitely better than being sober on a Saturday night, she tried to slip past the hoard of students there undetected. Once she had gotten outside, she finally started debating as to whether or not going back to Hogsmeade was really worth it.

It was when she headed back into the school building that she really started thinking it through, ultimately deciding that despite the snow, it was probably a better decision altogether to just head back. When she felt around for her coat on one of the benches, she tugged it on before walking back towards the door, running head-first into a body before she could even get two steps forward. Dom had already started apologizing before she had gotten a good look at the person who she had practically slammed into in her hurry to get out.]

Seriously?

#f2f: all #f2f: readyornot #f2f: dom

[Ethan had been on his way to class when Professor Xavier had stopped to accost him for a party in the the Room of Requirement he’d somehow heard about earlier that week. Yes, Ethan had known about it and he’d done jack all to try and stop it but he really didn’t feel like being lectured because Loki was shit at his job. He already got enough headaches from it since it usually resulted in his doing Loki’s job in addition to his own.

By the time the wrinkly old man finally let him go, Ethan was in a bad mood. He deducted twenty house points from Amelia Macmillan because he disliked the annoyingly happy smile on her face, although the technical reason was that she was in the hallways after break was over. He kept walking, not feeling much better after spoiling her day. He pulled out his phone, texting Astrid furiously that if she didn’t stop him he might kill someone - again. Although he left out that last part. He was so busy rage texting that he walked straight into something hard. When he heard the familiar voice ring out, he cringed.]

“This school isn’t fucking big enough,” [He hissed, looking down at the familiar face of Dom Weasley.]

truecrypt

Aren’t most siblings like that?

#convo: ben #convo: all #all: ben

Wouldn’t know, I’m an only child.

last2fall

I’m impressed that Loki actually managed to do that. I thought nothing could knock out Thor.

#convo: piers #convo: all #all: piers

I’m assuming that once of those twenty pounder crystal balls could knock anyone out. Who knows though? Loki could have just hexed him and pawned it off.

lily--potter-deactivated2016061

It does. There’s a weird sense of calm up there.

#convo: lily #convo: all #all: lily

There is, just don’t spend too much solitary time up there. Silence can be suffocating.

ministryjenkins-deactivated2016

Are you for real? It’s times like these I miss the castle. A lot. I don’t miss Loki, so much, but it would’ve been a sight to watch him launch that ball at Thor. One day that man is going to stop calling all Loki’s tricks “accidents.”