singing out my sorrow, cowered in the wind's embrace
From far away, a dream the sound of wind chimes [1]
This clear sky scenery overflows my heart
Day and night by the window, lost in reverie
I can't stop yawning
The class dismissal chime resounds
Such boisterous underachievers
I had forgotten my umbrella
"Ah, oh well"
Nevertheless it rains
Might as well get used to being drenched
Now, I'm-
singing out my sorrow, cowered in the wind's embrace
I can't push through this
I really, really wish I could
But oh well, I know it'll never come to be
Nevertheless it rains
Precious loafers all covered in mud
Took up my position at the familiar end of the bus stop
Head hung low
It's always, always just me
It's comforting
Love also, dreams as well, bonds too
It's all drowning in the rain
Pastel colored-
cute little teru teru bozu [2]
Now, I'm-
taking a stroll on the sandy beach shore
The feeling of walking barefoot resembles a summer memory
Overcast sky, the smell of altostratus clouds
Stirring up both fuzzy and vivid memories
Time to take a break under the shade of rocks
This may be my last chance
What an impatient moron
I had forgotten my umbrella
"Ah, oh well"
Nevertheless it rains
On my walk back home
Now, I'm-
still searching for something I lost
I don't understand
I really, really wish I could
But oh well, I know it'll never come to be
Nevertheless it rains
I never wore that raincoat I'd bought, but-
I prefer to dress lightly anyway
I had broken into a run
It's always, always just me
It's pleasant
Love also, dreams as well, bonds too
Forget it all, run, run, run! - I fell over
Nevertheless it rains
The sun begins to set, but-
you can't see it anyway
I do nothing but cry, it will always be a constant
It's so frustrating
"Revolution"
Nevertheless it rains
Might as well get used to being drenched
Now, I'm-
singing out my sorrow, cowered in the wind's embrace
I want to move on
If I really, really wish I could
Would it come true? I'll always be alone
Nevertheless it rains
Daybreak will end the night before long
Now, the sunrise-
arrogantly emulates the image of you
I won't give in
I really, really wish I could
If this can't reach you
I'll just have to take hold of you
Love also, dreams as well, bonds too
It's what makes the world smile-
seven prismatic colors with all its might
[1] - a few lines use "pillow words" which usually don't have concrete meanings and are flexible depending on the author's intent, (kind of similar to epithets in english) typically used for decorative purposes in certain forms of classic japanese literature. i've interpreted them the best i can, but i admittedly don't know all too much about classical poetry.
[2] - a "teru teru bozu" is a good luck charm so to speak. they are little cloth dolls usually hung up near windows that act as a sort of prayer for good weather. they can also have the opposite effect when hung upside down for bad weather.
This body feels bone-dry and thirsty over and over again
I don't know, the more I repeat it the more constant it becomes
HAPPY? HAPPY Heh, it doesn't seem that way, does it?
That's a feeling unknown to me
Your appraisal of me solidified my heart
Your words coiled around me and shook me to my core
Momentary familiarity falls apart from the skepticism
This is your fault, any change you make is FAKE
Head is spinning, get rid of the poison
Heart is stumbling, what's your name?
Without knowing who we were, our bodies were stripped
I don't care about your intentions
C'mon, let's show our love for each other
Riddled with patches that'll fall away on the verge of satiation
Sorrow has begun to fall after dozens of shake outs
Verbal abuse and shame remain scattered around with it
Ugh, fine, just one break. Just to do it all over again afterwards
Hmph, try to keep up
Little by little I'm liking it more
Little by little emptiness surrounds me
Over and over I turn into nothing
Bits and pieces of these dark impulses
Completely untainted
Completely turned off
Even though you call out my name-
I can't make a smile rise to the surface
When and why did I become like this?
Sealing away my mistakes since they made me want to die
If you disappear, emptiness can't be seen in my future
Just a little, it looks a bit see-through
No matter how much I erase and wipe, it's never completely clean
Your appraisal of me solidified my heart while-
your words stained me black before I knew it
Momentary familiarity falls apart from the skepticism
This is your fault, you disgraceful, flawed, mistake - any change you make is FAKE
[1] - several lines are deliberately written with certain language to sound mocking. however, in some cases this does not translate well into english where the words do not initially convey the same emotion without drastically changing the contents of the line itself. i decided to convey this emotion using italics instead.
It'll clear up in due time but until that happens-
I don't know if I can keep living this way
Dissolve into the night
Comets of an aria
You've always been an aspiration to me
Even your tears are beautiful, it makes my heart ache
I don't wanna think on it any longer
Feelings of the season swim overhead
Let me be alone here for a while, please?
It's a miracle
Contrasting lines of nostalgia
I'll keep my eyes on you until the end
See-through and beautiful
In the night, the palm of my hand reaches out
Blank space in a synthesizer
Fill the hole before it disappears-
with nothing but incoherent words
I'll leave it here-
that's okay, right?
It's a little painful that I'll fly away from it all
Doze off into a covered up dream
It's simple the way the world turns round-
and round it goes
CRY CRY CRY, every single day
It'll clear up in due time but until that happens-
I don't know if I can keep living this way
Dissolve into the night
Comets of an aria
[1] - the word "cry" here likely has a double meaning. the original lyrics use the english word "cry" which sounds very similar to the japanese word "kurai" (暗い) meaning "dark."
Focus my eye to the point where it all overlaps [1]
Screens flow on in this chilly night
Clearing my throat in this empty house, my last night as a teenager
Whatever, may as well act reckless, right?
I have a confession to make
I hope so-and-so doesn't make a big deal out of it
Love's bitterness had always kept my urges at bay
To: Cowardly Me, the timing is never right [2]
I can't keep up with a world that changes ever so quickly
It's a definitive feeling
I like you
Thus, with trembling fingers in a veil of darkness
I let my voice slip out and hit send
I'm unable to sleep, awaiting your desired reply
Relaying a chat log that resembles mutual love
It's an endless loop
（Ring…）
I sobbed like mud, so to speak
My wails start to sound disingenuous
Our people face a moon 380,000km away
You are… even further than that
I want to change
I hope so-and-so doesn't suspect anything
Past traumas resurface tonight, docile and vulnerable
From: Indirect Me, I'm asking you straight up [2]
Um… was I mistaken or were you…
flirting with me that day?
It's a sentimental feeling
I like you
Thus, my hands feel numb in the shadow of a god [3]
I knelt in prayer
I'm unable to sleep, awaiting your desired reply
Eternally left on standby status
You're as perplexing as the distant universe to me
Hey, can I hear your voice for a bit?
Come on, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to end this
Yeah, it's a definitive feeling
I like you
Thus, with trembling fingers in a veil of darkness
I hit send again
I'm unable to sleep, awaiting your desired reply
Relaying a chat log that resembles mutual love
It's an endless loop
（Ring…）
I sobbed like mud, so to speak
I sobbed, and sobbed
[1] - this is hard to format in lyrics. this is referring to the technique used in shooting sports where you would close your non-dominant eye to reduce the parallax effect and therefor improve your aim.
[2] - the way the lines are formatted is likely intended to vaguely resemble old messenger apps. i tried to reflect this same effect in a more clear-cut way.
[3] - i believe this is a play on words meaning both "image of a god" and "shadow of god." i tried to get this across by combining the two phrases into one.
How did I become this version of me, tallying up the pain
“Disappointment.” it’s almost like a catch-phrase
You won’t even call me by my name
I was always being compared to someone else
You were always affectionate, but never to me
I’ll turn you around again [1]
This isn’t a mistake, it’s not a mistake
Don’t be fooled into thinking that I’m a failure [2]
I wish you’d hug me again like you used to, won’t you?
Don’t leave me here, I want to be by your side
How did I become this version of me, tallying up the pain
I don’t want to be a disappointment to you
Who’s to blame for my tears?
If I could be reborn at the push of a button
I wonder if I could be your favorite next time
I’ll turn you around again
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
It’s better to live hoping that your dreams won’t eat you alive
It’s better to give by stealing away from others
This is the only way, the only way
How could I be forgiven?
Mama, look! See, I’m amazing, aren’t I?
“There there, you’re a good boy!”
A faraway dream that spreads its wings wide, I can make it a reality [3]
This isn’t a mistake, it’s not a mistake
Don’t be fooled into thinking that I’m a failure
I wish you’d hug me again like you used to, won’t you?
Don’t leave me here, I want to be by your side
How did I become this version of me, tallying up the pain
This isn’t a mistake, it’s not a mistake
If I could be reborn at the push of a button
I’ll be your favorite next time
this is a translation of mine from 8/24/2022. i re-translated milgram’s "all-knowing and all-agony" because at the time i was personally unsatisfied with the original subtitles. milgram is a very lore heavy series, so please take this with an extra grain of salt.
[1] - this phrase is similar to “i’ll make you come around” in english. i decided to leave it as “turn around” because “come around” would imply that someone had to go somewhere if interpreted differently.
[2] - the word “デキソコナイ” is a simplified writing of “出来損ない” which means “a failure” or “poorly-done.” haruka seems to misunderstand certain words in his voice dramas due to them being too complex, and this may be a reference to that detail.
[3] - the word for “dream” in this line is comprised of the same character used in kusunoki mu’s name. however, it is not pronounced the same.
If that's the case, won't you take this dance with me
Lie Bye Baby
My My My Life
After all, this is all just a symptom of boredom
Dive into this love, these innocent eyes
See a show void of dreams
Face the end or runaway
Three of them, one isn't innocent
Throw it all away, it's not special to me
After all, it's really not, isn't it?
Thus, thus certainly
There's no coming back from this ending
Thus, thus runaway and
CRY CRY CRY
Lie Bye Baby
My My My Life
If that's the case, won't you take this dance with me
Lie Bye Baby
My My My Life
I assure you, it's a very serious matter
L’embillir [1]
L’embillir YOU
L’embillir
After all it's always been just a symptom of defeat
Shady jealousy, weaponizing my hardships
It doesn't belong to anyone anymore
These eyes are blurry to words of love
They scream of bias and reincarnation
It doesn't matter, we've made our destiny
It doesn't belong to anyone anymore
With shaky eyes and a heart turned to ash
It screams a signal of defeat
Lie Bye Baby
My My My Life
If that's the case, won't you take this dance with me
Lie Bye Baby
My My My Life
I assure you, it's a very serious matter
L’embillir
L’embillir YOU
L’embillir
After all it's always just been a symptom of defeat
this is a translation of mine from 8/6/2022. the original upload does not have translated subtitles as of this post.
[1] - [EDIT: 8/15/2022] “lamberic” is apparently supposed to be a play on the french word “embillir” which means “to embellish.” i do not speak french so this is something i missed in my original translation. it has hence been changed to “l’embillir” as of this edit. i apologize for the mistake!
"I wanna die, I wanna die" You're already dead, though
Yet still, "I miss you, I miss you" will never go away
It always hurts, it hurts, it just can't fly! Why, Why!
The loneliness is all that remains
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
Stitch up the wounds, smear it with honey, over and over again, caux [1] this love
It's just a scratch, breathe in the honey, over and over again, I want to love
I think I'm becoming one
I love you! I love you! I love the rotten parts too
Why don't you become one too?
I love you! I love you! Let's keep it a secret between us
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
I can't hear your heart pounding anymore
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
You're still cold, no matter how tight we hug
It's no use if you've already turned
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
That itch to be caressed gently is gone
Biting doesn't even taste good anymore
A jackpot that spits out jealousy
Stitches are a hoax, no more peeking!
Stitch up the wounds, smear it with honey, over and over again, caux this love
It's just a scratch, breathe in the honey, over and over again, I want to love
If we become a couple
I love you! I love you! It's a good thing you can't die, huh?
If we really love each other
I love you! I love you! You wouldn't be here
I think I'm becoming one
I love you! I love you! I love the rotten parts too
Why don't you become one too?
I love you! I love you! Let's keep it a secret between us
If we become a couple
I love you! I love you! It's a good thing you can't die, huh?
If we really love each other
I love you! I love you! You wouldn't be here
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
I can't hear your heart pounding anymore
Waha! We're zombies, zombies!
You're still cold, no matter how tight we hug
It's no use if you've already turned
"I wanna die, I wanna die" You're already dead, though
Yet still, "I miss you, I miss you" will never go away
It always hurts, it hurts, it just can't fly! Why, Why!
The loneliness is all that remains
this is a translation of mine from 7/31/2022. i re-translated deco*27′s "zombies" because at the time i was personally unsatisfied with the original subtitles. i've decided to repost them here for archival purposes.
[1] - at the time, i couldn’t tell if deco*27 wrote “code” in a strange way or if he actually meant “caux”. in this context, i’m assuming caux meant “to ignite” or “set ablaze.” it seemed correct to me, so thats the one i went with.
I just saw it on the news channel night after night
Here is where all "under the weather" kids like me [1]
Spend their time
I spent all my money on their uniform
Tons of sharp blades and drugs to fit in
If they'll fit in my bag…
It's time to depart
Yearning is…
That feeling that makes you squirm
It's eating away at me, I need money quick
I'm a bargain, so come back for more!
Thank you for your support!
You can, You can
You can never look me in the eyes!
The truth is, I already know why
Because, well…
These wounds only grow over time
Today and tomorrow, we'll keep chopping away
I am in shreds, body and soul
But I'm alive so
Happy or not, would you admit to a lie?
This is my last chance to run
I don't care if it's all just a dream
Let's hold hands to the end, okay?
I don't know if this is really what love is
As long as you're having fun, it's okay right?
Because, well…
I don't expect to live for much longer
How much am I even worth now?
I wonder how long I can stay in this city
She's gone now, it's funny how fast time flies
This is my last chance to run
If I fall any further…
Bye-bye to this world, I guess.
This sucks, it's the worst!
It's all your fault
I won't forgive you until the day I die, stop saying that!
It would be better if we had the chance to choose
But even so
It's all your fault
There's nowhere that we fit in or belong
Today's the day we fight back
At least, it should've been
No matter how many people you surround yourself with
Your heart will never feel full
I cry out for a love that I cannot even remember touching
Wasn't this city supposed to make me happy?
The outside world is terrifying
This is the only place I could go
Oh God, what am I supposed to do?!
So on and so forth for the rest of this life
Living at a dead-end
Ah, the despair and the disappointment
I'm used to it already
For this body with no wings
Hell would suit it perfectly
Someone's laughter rang in my ears
Just enjoy the moment, okay?
In the future, this city will crumble
Today, it has fallen into ruin
In the near future, we'll all die. You'll see!
this is a translation of mine from 7/27/2022. when this translation was made the video did not have subtitles, the upload now has broken subtitles a few hours after upload.
[1] - this phrase literally means "unfortunate kids." i chose "under the weather kids" as it sounds closer to the title, and fits with tuyu's "rainy season" motif.
Is there a limit to this dainty look? Escape on this swirling COASTER
Is there a punishment for this lazy outlook? That was a poorly conceived DIS
Say G-G-Goodbye, we're taking refuge together
Say G-G-Goodbye, looking up at the empty sky
Say G-G-Goodbye, sink into silence, hide this secret POWER 1, 2, 3, COUNT
Iai-Iai-Iai-Iai Roaring MONSTER Iai-Iai-Iai-Iai Eat this COUNTER
Iai-Iai-Iai-Iai Get up and BOUNCE, twirl in a game of Patty-cake Polka, let's go!
C'mon, move out! Lodge us into this city, I'll draw you a revolution!
Change appears with the wind! Pitter-patter and jump to soar!
More! This pitter-patter of my heart gets faster, I won't let you hide in my shadow!
Finally, this life is-is-is-is so much fun!
Here we goooo! Unleash it upon the world, this rowdy revolution!
This flawless wind is perfectly unusual! Call in the eccentrics!
Hear our Iai-Iai-Iai ring in the air! Our Red-Red BITE Roaring・Dashing・Flying MONSTER
this is a translation of mine from 2/25/2022. as of this post the official video does not have subtitles, but this may change in the future.
[1] - patty-cake polka is an actual game in west, but i'm unaware if this was the intended reference. literally it is "twirling in a circle patty-cake dance." i simplified it to patty-cake polka as they sound the same in concept.
[2] - "iai" is the sound of someone sheathing a sword. the closest sound to that in english would be "schwing." however, that sound is also used when swinging a sword. i eventually decided to leave it alone to keep the flow.
The scariest part of mornings is my staring contest with the mirror
I still lose even after combing through my messy hair
I keep wishing for rain so I could hide my face under my umbrella… Oh, I’m sorry!
Just being alive is dirty and disgusting
It hurts, these rainy stares send a shock through my chest
I’m sick and tired of making excuses for myself to run
Wait, why do they seem so carefree while laughing at me?
In the shade with no one around, I could never make a sound like this
I want to be loved
I tried so hard to make my best smile shine
If only I could laugh like she used to
“You’re not alone” Do you really believe that?
This kindness knocks the wind out of me
I can only hope it rains for you as well
Complex Syndrome
Who’s the laughing stock now?
Lying awake on sleepless nights anxiously awaiting tomorrow
My thoughts keep going in circles, this is going nowhere!
At some point, I realized that “You’re really cute” was a lie
This graffiti-esque face is an act of vandalism, disgusting and shameful
I was wrong and it was only then that I understood
My smile had been twisted by those painful words
I wanted to live my life pretending to be someone that I’m not
In the shade with no one around, I don’t want to be left behind
I want to be loved
I’ve always despised that lovely smile on your face
Yet those eyes full of adoration are etched into my mind
“You can do this!” Do you really believe that?
I can feel this innocent kindness pull my heart out of my chest
I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to
This Complex Syndrome cannot be healed
I’m sorry I’m such a failure
this is a translation of mine from 12/22/2022. i re-translated amehurashi's "complex syndrome" because at the time i was personally unsatisfied with the original subtitles. i've decided to repost them here for archival purposes.
i have also translated the short story for "complex syndrome" which you can find below the cut of this post. unlike the songs, the short stories do not have official translations.
I cut my bangs. I got tired of them getting in my eyes. It’s not to make myself more attractive, its simply for convenience. With the snip, snip, snip of scissors ringing loud in my ears, I held a staring contest with the mirror. Humans are intrinsically equal, but this societal life ranks us by our worth.
―Pick whichever hairstyle is your favorite! Anything would look good on you.
Such an innocent lie that rings out from the carefree voice in my head. If you don’t jump on a trend before it’s too late, be prepared to escape from sneers and torrents of abuse on all sides.
“With that face?”
It’s always the thoughtless words that pull someone’s confidence out by the roots. I wish those awful words would die already. I give my hair one last shake to make sure it stays out of my eyes. I regret even cutting it in the first place. It’s not like I didn’t know it already. It doesn’t hurt anymore, anyways. I gave the upside down teruterubouzu [1] a kiss, and went on my way.
“Damn, I wish I could go out with the three beauties!”
His unnecessarily loud voice echoed throughout the classroom. The three beauties? The way he spoke made it sound like there were only three beautiful girls in the entire school. Moron.
“Hey, hey~! What are we doing today? Where are we meeting?!”
A carefree voice had arrived. Well look at that, it’s one of the "three beauties." Do beautiful people even have any problems at this point? Since its the weekend, everyone decided to head to the summer festival in a neighboring town that the beautiful girls were going to. She was the one everyone was looking at. I was simply her plus one. I don’t think I have to tell you why the boys were going to the summer festival. I didn’t have the right to veto the decision in the first place. I couldn’t be bothered to think of an excuse not to go, so I just let myself get swept away.
―Oh, c'mon! It’ll be fun! You’ll never be lonely with me there!
Those carelessly innocent words knocked the air out of my lungs as if I’d been punched. Every time that happens I feel my breath get caught in my throat. It’s not that I don’t want to go with you, I just hate being laughed at by you. Honestly, it hurts more knowing that you don’t understand that. I bet you’re going to get all dolled up too, aren’t you? You’d put a hairpin in your hair, wear a colorful vivid yukata, and maybe even put on a little bit of makeup if you feel like it. You’d party with everyone, smile like the sun in the summer, and make lots of sweet memories.
I… I can’t smile like that.
“It’s gonna be fun! Looking forward to it!”
I hope you enjoy it. Everyone is looking forward to hanging out with you. Your yukata suits you, as does your beautiful smile that draws people in. Yet, the only thing I have to look forward to is this damp, humid air. A grey, moody cloud dances around in the sky. Ah, now my time after-school doesn’t seem so bad after all. Rain is always the best excuse.
The rain clouds have disappeared, and the setting sun was dazzlingly radiant. A teruterubouzu hung over the trashcan feels almost ironic as I leave the house with a depressive feeling in a dull hand-me-down yukata, with an old worn out string bag. I walked through the damp grass, my eyebrows furrowing at the pain from my sandal strap. I finally arrived at the station to buy a ticket to the town of the summer festival. I waited for the appointed time of the train, in the most uncomfortable seats on earth.
If only I could be a different person. If only I could be like you. If only I didn’t have this face. The ticket slipped out of my hand and onto the floor. I ignored it and walked to the vending machine.
I wonder if I could’ve been more beautiful. I wonder if I could’ve had a more beautiful heart. I wonder if I could’ve had a more beautiful smile like you. I let out a bitter chuckle at the thought, and hopped onto the approaching train. The train that was moving in the opposite direction of our meeting place. My breath returned to my lungs, and I shut off my phone with a lighter feeling in my chest. My thoughts started circling again as I stared out the train window in a daze.
I wish it had rained.
[1] - a "teruterubouzu" is a doll that is used as a charm of sorts to ward off rainy weather. they're intended to be right side up, meaning hope for sunny weather. however, when turned upside down it is an omen for rainy weather.
Give it more words and make it feel like it's overflowing
It's so drenched from the rain
Words that have bled too much to be read
I wish I could hide from the rain in the postbox
It's so drenched from the rain
Yet, somehow the address is left as is
Maybe tomorrow, the day after,
I hope to find the voice that I'd heard
Is it "un-experienced" or "inexperienced?"
Hand it over and I'll write the right words
With these letters that I haven't mastered yet
The puppet's hands are trembling
By the time the fall had come to a close
This forest that I had found myself lost in
Its postbox was overflowing
By the time the winter had come to a close
Someone had given me a pen to write for myself
Yet, you were the one who wrote the dampening me
Skip over the words that you don't know
I hope you find someone between the lines
Stick on another extra stamp
Read my open heart while it feels like its bleeding out
It's so drenched from the rain
Words that have bled too much to be read
I wish I could hide from the rain in the postbox
It's so drenched from the rain
Yet, somehow, the address is left as is
Maybe tomorrow, or never the day after,
I'll take your word for it
Maybe tomorrow, the day after,
I hope to find the voice that I'd heard
this is a translation of mine from 01/31/2022. i translated inabakumori's "post shelter" before the official subtitles released. i've decided to repost them here for archival purposes.
I’m not done toying with you just yet, it’s not enough!
Ruler! Ruler!
NIGHTMARE Come now, dry your tears and feast!
High jeté, don’t stop for a smoke! [2]
NIGHTMARE An omen, pierce this storm!
I’m not done toying with you just yet, it’s not enough!
Ruler! Ruler! Ruler!
STOP
Shut up already, madness spoils those it loves
Every time we play this dress up game, I cringe a bit
Is it really deceit, or just grey morality?
Similar to the fall of a bird's first flight
Calling, Calling, Deeply
Calling, Calling, Sweetly
Calling, Calling, Deeply
Calling, Calling, Impurely
NIGHTMARE Don’t tempt me, my love
Dry flowery words, you can’t escape this trap
NIGHTMARE This enticing, rosy scent of fresh prey
I’m not done toying with you just yet, it’s not enough!
Ruler! Ruler!
NIGHTMARE Come now, dry your tears and feast!
High jeté, don’t stop for a smoke!
NIGHTMARE An omen, pierce this storm!
I’m not done toying with you just yet, it’s not enough!
Ruler! Ruler! Ruler!
this is a translation of mine from 01/22/2022. i translated azari's "nightmare" when it first released and it did not have captions at the time of posting. i've decided to repost them here for archival purposes.
[1] - the sound "lulalula" doubles as both a taunting hum and the word "ruler."
[2] - literally translates to "high dance." seeing as "high" can take on many different meanings in this context, i changed the word "dance" to a specific move in ballet described as a "springing leap" for clarity.
Wait, did you not notice? I ran out of breath in my pursuit of you
This fall left me covered in bruises and scratches
Hey, wait! You’re leaving me behind!
You’re a crybaby who’s voice is always the first to disappear
I’m a coward who’s good at keeping people close so I'll feel wanted
This blue sky of clouds smiled upon me
Hey, did you forget something? Was it something important to you?
If it was you didn’t notice it
Come on, I’m getting tired of this! I’m a shadow kid I promise I’m here!
My screams resemble that of a ghost’s
When this miserable rain starts to clear, I’ll still blame you
I’m a shadow kid in the shade of the falling sun
My afterimage faded away with my voice
Everyone’s eyes were lost in your smile that shines like the summer
Yet I lost sight of the sun
I’m a ghost captured in the sun of the summer
this is a translation of mine from 12/21/2022. i re-translated amehurashi's "kimi sketch" because at the time i was personally unsatisfied with the original subtitles. i've decided to repost them here for archival purposes.
i have also translated the short story for "kimi sketch" which you can find below the cut of this post. unlike the songs, the short stories do not have official translations.
This pit of time is getting bigger and bigger. I can see that my LINE notifications are still piling up, but I’m still too lazy to even mark them as read. So instead I take out my diary, as it's the only way I can remember how to talk to her. The word “Best friend” fills the pages. Before, it used to sound pleasant and comforting. Now, it hurts just to look at it.
“Woah! You’re really good at drawing, y'know?”
I met her by chance when the scent of the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and she was determined to get me to teach her how to draw. I thought that she was a bit more beautiful than me. Admittedly, she had a couple of screws loose and was the worst when it came to drawing. Despite that, she was my beloved sun. She always praised me even on my darkest days. She was making good progress, and I was there with her every step of the way. However, by the time the cherry blossoms wilted and the fresh green was overgrown; the praise for my sketches had died off.
“Huh? Did you stop drawing?”
I was surprised that there wasn’t even a hint of malice in her expression. Still, she didn’t overlook my awkward, unattractive laugh.
“Ah, yeah. I just… I think you’re much more talented than I am..”
Don’t say it like it’s her fault. Don’t even bother to try and make me deny that it’s my fault. Don’t make me believe the shittiest of lies. Can’t you at least make me feel like I hate you?! Even now, I still don’t resent you. I have no right to.
“Oh, that reminds me! I found this job opening for an illustrator, so I applied! I don’t know if I got the job yet, but still isn’t that great?!”
Stop it. Don’t say another word. Stop talking about the dreams that you stole from me. Please stop bringing my ugliness into the spotlight with your smile that shines like the sun.
I hate that whenever I look at you I want to rip my heart out of my chest. I hate how ugly and disgusting I am. I hate my selfishness. I hate how I desire sympathy from people for my vulgar feelings. Feelings like this… No one will ever understand them. I hate that not even I can understand them. You’re always hunting me down.
I hate y — I hate myself.
When I get home, I take out my sketchbook. The sound of pages turning fills my ears as the feeling of nostalgia enters my mind. All of them, all of my precious treasures. However, a specific page catches my eye and a smile escapes my mouth before I can stop it.
The sun envelops her frame, while I’m doused in shadows. I resembled a ghost that no one would notice, even if they screamed. A shadow kid that no one could see. Before I knew it, the sound of the paper being torn out of the sketchbook surrounded me like a blanket.
Harumaki Gohan - Fireflies Never Came || はるまきごはん - 蛍はいなかった
"The fireflies were here"
I’d tell you what my heart really thinks
If it would just report back to me
Those words and that smile make such a lively show
That didn’t make any sense, did it?
A long night with chartreuse dyed fireflies [1]
I said that I really wanted to see it
I wish I could be reborn again
So I could be more honest now
It'll still be the same thing tomorrow
Falling in love
Please make sure to go and get you
Before you come to meet me
“Maybe some other time.”
Because you said it like that
I wanted to see the fireflies
Something like this is just so easy for you
I'm a delinquent compared to you
The glow of the fireflies shine on the night of the full moon [2]
I can’t live like you
I wish I could be reborn again
So I could be more dazzling now
I’m still the same as before
Take my hand
I’ll keep running until the world stands still
Even though it’s stopped
Ah- that’s right
I’m more than who I was before
We’re getting closer to the fireflies
I think I can show you the depths of my heart now
I don’t know what this feeling is but
I think I want you to smile
I know I want you to smile!
This warmth of light on my back
If it could light up my heart then
Please don’t turn it off!
I want to conceal it with a ribbon of gold
I want to keep it hidden away
Only for me
I’m the only one who needs to know
The fireflies were here
From now even until when we become adults
I’ll keep that feeling in my heart
If I were asked about it I’d say that
The fireflies never came
this is a translation of mine from 01/09/2022. this was created before the official subtitles released. i've decided to repost them here for archival purposes.
[1] - i originally translated this as "yellow-green" but realized "chartreuse" would fit much better after the official subtitles had released. it has been changed accordingly.
[2] - this line originally reads as "glowing fireflies on the fifteenth night." i believe the term "fifteenth night" is in reference to the night of a full moon, and has been altered to make more sense in english.
