d . s a m

read me through the lines i wrote

[diyanieee]

baik hati gileerr Leader aku ni. sanggup terima aku balik join team lama huhu.

aku rasa ni la masalah terbesar aku. takut nak approach orang. takut nak melangkah lebih jauh. lebih suka duduk dibelakang. lepas tu suka ghosting orang huhu

ni masalah attitude ni. damn! kena perbaiki diri ni huhu

[diyanieee]

11

kau dapat colleague yang macam.. wtf! 

 dapat colleague yang buat hal masing2, pakai headphone, pasang lagu. bila kau bercakap tapi dia tak dengar. kau whatsapp tapi nda kena reply. wtfff!!!

baik aku buat hal sendiri ja. 

[diyanieee]

10

I’m so mad with myself. 

[diyanieee]

6

29/11/2018

It does really break my heart. seeing him from far away and stir my feeling instead of giving me a butterfly inside my stomach. 

that butterfly never goes away. it still there. 

[diyanieee]

4

Hairan. Dah kahwin tapi perangai dulu masih sama. Sikit pun nda berubah. ini lah antara sebab aku takut mau kawin. sebab aku takut, aku akan bawa perangai yang sama. 

kau tak move on dari aku kah macam mana. 

...

you put your life into marriage just sebab nak remove aku? nda boleh move on dari aku? jadi your wife tu kira rebound?

why lelaki nowadays scary..

[diyanieee]

3

I’ve been living with these memories for a long time. i keep the abuse secret for many years. i have tried to tell my parents but i felt there was no one i could trust. 

I’ve struggled with low self-esteem that affect many different areas of my life such as my relationship, my career and even my health. i need time to deal with what has happened to me. 

[diyanieee]

2

The only thing that makes me insecure is trust. to put my trust over someone is the hardest thing to do. but what makes me sad is when I’m trying to trust him, he asked me to not trust him. but I did tell him that stories. 

stories that I will never ever disclosed to others. how hurt I am. how broken I am. deep down in my self, I’m the worst one. no ones know how unlucky I am at some point. that I am not like other people. I was broken since the young age. how the emotional ruined me. i was so helpless and hopeless and unsupported for years. 

I used to wake up every morning and thinking about why all these happening to me. i am always messed up in my emotional relations. i cannot go stable more than a day. i relapse into depression, anxiety and sad but people do not know who i am. my colleague, friends, family member know nothing about me. everybody out-there thinks i am an okay girl. it destroys me. 

i hate the fact i’ve been abused when i was a child. 

At the end of the day, I just kept it to myself. I got no one to tell. and that was really hurt. it could be my worst nightmare. 

[diyanieee]

1

i’ve been reading how emotionally neglected children an develop deep-rooted issues and insecurities. i never had a strong emotional bond with my parents. form an early age, i learned to bury my feelings rather than show it.

i believe this is why art is such an important medium for self-expression. how many of us buried our feelings and said “im fine”. when in reality we want to scream and cry. some of the most tortured souls create the most beautiful art. 

hugging your children and creating a safe space to nurture emotional intimacy is vital. 

[diyanieee]

it hit me so hard. 

mau keluar dari safe zone tu.bukan senang.

ego setinggi melangit. sekeras konkrit. 

what u’ve done to me. 

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[untrustyou]

[sleepin]

[joseancoss]

Real life anime food 🍱

[fufumusllimah]

Word of advice; when things get hard and life gets rough, up your ibadaat (worship). Bring it up a notch; recite an extra page, pray that sunnah you always miss, memorize that one surah, pray a little slower. Shaitan is so close when life brings you to your knees, so bring it up a notch. Take advantage of your trials and tribulations, make it a means for you to get closer to Allah swt, and don’t you dare let shaitan get you while you’re weak.

[cappuccinoundmich]

:”

[nishlo-deactivated20151015]

it’s crazy that people who meant the world to me a year ago are nothing but a passing thought to me now and some of the people who mean the most to me now didn’t even know I existed a year ago

[dunyatraveler]

Sometimes we felt like we’ve got the biggest problem ever but has it ever crossed your mind if you were placed in other people’s shoe, can you survive well? How will you survive?

Just a reminder to myself that; “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286)

I can do it insyaAllah. I can manage it. Guide me ya Allah. Ease our affairs ya Allah. Amin.

[empathysuggestion]

one day you will be happy. not constantly, but it will become a theme in your life. you will have days where you feel sad and that’s normal. but eventually you can wake up with a smile on your face even if there isn’t a reason. you’ll see yourself through a clearer lens. you’ll think of the best case scenarios. you’ll find people who you can share your happiness with. you’ll settle into your own body and mind with a sense of security.