NoxinnixoN

Only bad opinions allowed. Iowa forever.

[cherrybonerot]

if ur in a tough situation and don't know what to do immediately escalate to violence. follow me for more life advice ❤️

[i-hate-ziggers]

[do-geese-see-god]

When I was CNC machining aircraft engine parts, I set the parameters in multiples of five, even if it wasn't optimal. As long as it was within tolerance. Worst case scenario, I'd do even or prime numbers.

What makes me feel better about this is that most of you are much more autistic.

[do-geese-see-god]

My daughter is interested in golf. Maybe one day she can embrace her Scot roots and be on the high school golf team like her old man.

And then not take it seriously and do things like drive with a putter. Like her old man.

[twitblr]

[fullauto-armsnotaigns]

1 of them yeah

[uncle-mojave]

Not mine but others

[beardedmrbean]

Couple of em, same with great grandpas.

Living grandma has 23 great grandchildren.

[do-geese-see-god]

I spent tons of time with my maternal great grandmother when I was a kid. She taught me chords on the piano and I use the quilt that she hand-made for me to this day. She was a second generation American from the Rawson clan and an absolute saint.

[do-geese-see-god]

The last time I was in the drunk tank, this dude that could have absolutely kicked my ass started talking shit to me. I put on a crazy face and said "Why don't you shut the fuck up?" and it worked.

Sometimes being nuts trumps being tough.

[do-geese-see-god]

I'm sitting at a sports bar next to a couple drunk 60yo dudes absolutely yelling at the basketball game on the tv. They keep asking me "Can you believe this???"

No. I cannot. I don't think that I've ever watched a basketball game in my life.

[do-geese-see-god]

Back when I was an edgy libertarian in my 20s, I'd write zero in the tip column at restaurants. Then I'd slip some cash to the waiter and tell them to report that they got stiffed so they wouldn't have to give a cut to the restaurant or get taxed on it.

Then I'd say "Remember: taxation is theft."

[do-geese-see-god]

After being in southern Texas and back in Iowa now, the Mexican food here is a third as good and 3x as expensive.

[do-geese-see-god]

I got banned from a store after "stumbling around drunk and brandishing a firearm."

That does sound like me.

However, I have a bit of a limp and had my S&W tucked on the inside of my unbuttoned jacket and they happened to see the handle of the pistol is the actual story. I'm an absolute heavyweight. You'd know if I were drunk.

The kicker: I used to be a manager at that store for over a decade.

[i-hate-ziggers]

[do-geese-see-god]

Had our first snow last night. About 2". And the plows weren't out until 6am, but I drove through the night on worn tires.

I ran a few stoplights because I'd hit the brakes and didn't slow down one bit. I had fun in some corners, though, with a little heel-toe action and taking the corner sideways.

[do-geese-see-god]

I was going to rob a liquor store tonight, but I got there 5min after they closed. I just can't win lately.

[jager-bruder]

[djuvlipen]

12.2k views on this tweet and the replies are all Eastern Europeans and Nazis agreeing. smfh

[saddamhusseinbignaturals]

dont give a fuckkk anyone who defends gypsies has never met a single one

[do-geese-see-god]

I worked with a gyppo years ago and they're not like Brad Pitt in Snatch. They're clever and conniving yet dumb as hell. An odd juxtaposition.

[do-geese-see-god]

The closest that I've ever been to death was when I was using a scissor jack and it collapsed. I rolled out from under the car just in time.

Since then, I've used a floor jack and a couple jack stands when underneath a vehicle. You should, too.

[gadawg-404]

[do-geese-see-god]

@oneeyeone specifically means me in this post, I assume. Everyone else that will be at dinner are compleatly normal.

Chemtrails! Reptilians! I'm homeless and live in my car! They don't want you to know about *insert my latest conspiracy theory here*