d e v o n
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Xuebing Du
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
izzy's playlists!
oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON
taylor price
i don't do bad sauce passes
almost home
JBB: An Artblog!
Love Begins
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
#extradirty
Keni
seen from Singapore
seen from Malaysia
seen from Kenya
seen from Türkiye
seen from Kenya
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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@doctorgruesome
I was at Walmart with my family. I kept yelling we needed pasta sauce. So me and my brother went to get some and he shoves a six pack of pickle jars at me. I swipe at him and knock the pickles out of his hand and like broke half of them. We ran and some guy and his kids started chasing us. He got security and we had to buy the pickles. We gave the unbroken ones away for free.
It was a really good weird dream because I don’t have a brother.
Ok so I have a mini Jason keychain on my note pad at work. And this little girl sees it.
Kid: eww what is this?
Dad: I don't know. What is that?
Me: Jason. Voorhees, Jason.
Dad: Oh. It's from a movie.
Kid: Is that's blood on his knife?
Dad: Probably.
Me: yes.
Kid: Well you don't know it could be juice.
Me: yes! It's juice!
Dad: It's a hockey stick not a knife. See, he is wearing a hockey mask!
Kid: well he is ugly.
Me:I am having a hard time making conversation at work with customers. Since I don't talk to many people.
My friend: Have you tried starting with the line, "have you heard about our lord and savior Jason Voorhees?"
I had a dream last night that a place wouldn't serve me a burger with out cheese so I burn the building down.
"You're never gonna get it I'm a hazard to myself I'll break it to you easy This is hell, this is hell You're looking and a' whispering You think I'm someone else This is hell, yes. Literal hell." Me struggling to get my jacket off at the gym.
Cooking show I desperately want: Professional chefs compete to wow and astound totally amateur food critics who don’t know dick about shit. Get eliminated on totally arbitrary grounds such as “I don’t like sour cream.”
If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
Is there a law against Pokémon-human marriage?
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Ants On the Moon
As a scientist I can tell you this photo is 100% accurate. Photo cred: texashumor
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