The Quality Life

Welcome to My World. Where God tries me daily. Today, I lost my job. How was your day? Let's get through it together.

[doesitgetbetter]

7 Years of Prayer

I don't blame or hate God.  I just dont understand.  People say prayer works.  I have been praying hard for 7 years and my life is still the same.  I still work 3 jobs to barely have food.  Barely have money to pay ANY bills.  It's not a good feeling to regularly be stressed the week before rent.  Or have people pity you.  Sometimes I get so overwhelmed I can't breathe.  All I can do is cry.  I try to be a good person.  Try to make sure everyone else is always accounted for.  I work hard. I go to church, live by His Word, but I'm still being left behind.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I don't know what to say in my prayers.  God isn't testing me.  He's punishing me.  God gives others grace... While I'm still trying to manage how much can I bare?  Please, God.  Give me a break.  I don't want life to even get better.  All I pray is that I end up OK.  That's if I keep praying.  Again, I don't know what to do.  I don't hate God.  It's just getting harder to believe. Especially believe He cares for someone like me.  One good thing happens,  Now, I wait for the ton of bricks to come crashing on any joy.  As if my good fortune is only a fluke waiting for something bad to happen.   Others lives are worse, But it doesn't silence the Hell I've been living in now.  Pray for me. 

[doesitgetbetter]

Detox

I have always heard that it is worse than doing drugs. Not more harmful to the body, but worse. In other ways. I feel dope when I do dope, but when I detox, All the memories I tried to forget flood through. Not nearly as great of a feeling. When I'm high, I feel great or next to nothing, but when I'm not, I'm equally dead. But the pain when I detox, is unimaginable because my anguish becomes my reality yet again. I scream to God to help me, but God must be busy because my prayers seem to be forwarded. I know someone that always answers. Especially when I'm in agony. I'd ask you to save me, but I'm detoxing. I get out on the 1st. Please, swing by and bring my stuff to make me feel better. Because when I am one with reality, I am never going to be myself. At least never again.

[doesitgetbetter]

Don’t tell me what to do

Stop clipping my wings, when all I want to do is fly.

Stop telling me no, when all I dream about is being free.

Stop telling me I can’t, when I feel like my movements are as fluid as water and as breezy as the softest blows of air.

Stop trying to stifle my laughter and contain my joy in a box that isn’t allowed in your office.

Stop dictating your rules, cause you’re not my dad.

My dad gets me, he would never.

He knows creativity allows me to breathe.

He knows ideas is what lifts my spirits.

He knows working alone can sometimes be best to do my best work.

I won’t even tell you what my ma won’t do, because then you’d know you had your warning.

Make sure not to tell me what to do.

[doesitgetbetter]

mental health

Its an uncomfortable subject and to get comfortable, you have to experience some level of discomfort, but not to the point of being turned off

[doesitgetbetter]

Picture day.

Release me please.

Change my clothes, eyes, skin, personality, and body.

And with that, 

I was picture perfect.

[doesitgetbetter]

Sometimes I get really low (impatience).

So, so fucking low, I get sad thinking about being that low.

It’s always so much that gets me there.

Sometimes, I don’t want to “just get through”

I want to FF to when I’m already “through” it.

I’ve known despair and I hate to admit that.

I’ve cried out in my struggles.

I’ve screamed to God bargaining.

“Please God. I know you never give us more than we can bare, but when will my baring be over? When will I see the fruits everyone else sees? When will I stop being taught a lesson for something I’m not sure I even did? When will you stop trying me?”

Sometimes in the darkest times, when I don’t want to see the next day, I beg God to stop.

Can’t stop begging because bad things are only happening to me.

Constantly.

Do you hear me God?

Please.

Sometimes when I get that low, I ask for Him to take a future blessing in exhange for the pain I’m feeling now.

That low.

[doesitgetbetter]

But u alrdy knew that

No need to explain

No need to pour my heart in texts, voicemails, or direct messages.

No need if you already knew.

No need to tell me you love me.

At least not anymore.

No need to act like you care.

When I have been told “I’m sorry” a million times.

No need to cry.

If my eyes have shown you my pain.

No need to beg you to come back,

but you already knew that.

[millemii]

It`s a mess. 

[broken-depressed-hearts]

Who cares if one more light goes out?

Linkin Park (26.07.17)

[doesitgetbetter]

I have the passion&know your pain to at least be there and understand how to help. Sometimes it’s easier venting to a complete stranger.

[doesitgetbetter]

Good morning, good mornin'

It’s a great day to stay up late.

Good morning, good mornin’ to you.

In the morning, in the mornin’, people who didn’t care about you text all day.

Good morning, good mornin’ to you.

In the morning, in the mornin’, trying not to text my ex.

Good morning, good mornin’ to you.

[doesitgetbetter]

Ten Tips for Better Mental Health

Build Confidence - identify your abilities and weaknesses together, accept them, build on them and do the best you can with what you have.

Accept Compliments - many of us have difficulty accepting kindness from others but we all need to remember the positive in our lives when times get tough.

Make Time for Family and Friends - these relationships need to be nurtured; if taken for granted they will dwindle and not be there to share life’s joys and sorrows.

Give and Accept Support - friends and family relationships thrive when they are “put to the test.” Just as you seek help when you are having a tough time, a friend or family member might come to you in their time of need.

Create a Meaningful Budget - financial problems are big causes of stress, especially in today’s economy. Over-spending on our “wants” instead of our “needs” can compound money worries. Writing down where you money is going helps you keep a closer eye on your finances.

Volunteer - being involved in community gives a sense of purpose and satisfaction that paid work cannot. Find a local organization where you life skills can be put to good use.

Manage Stress - we all have stressors in our lives but learning how to deal with them when they threaten to overwhelm us will help to maintain our mental health.

Find Strength in Numbers - sharing a problem with others who have had similar experiences may help you find a solution and will make you feel less isolated. Even talking about situation with people who have not experienced what you are going through is a good way to gain outside perspective.

Identify and Deal with Moods - we all need to find safe and constructive ways to express our feelings of anger, sadness, joy and fear. Channeling your emotions creatively is a wonderful way to work off excess feelings. Writing (keeping a journal), painting, dancing, making crafts, etc. are all good ways to help deal with emotions.

Learn to Be at Peace with Yourself - get to know who you are, what makes you really happy and learn to balance what you can and cannot change about yourself.

http://www.mhww.org/strategies.html

[doesitgetbetter]

THE EFFECTS OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION ON THE BODY

It’s time for bed! People’s needs vary when it comes to sleep. But what if your lack of shut eye is hurting your health?

You’re always hungry

You’ve gained weight

You’re more impulsive

Your memory’s shot

You’re having trouble making decisions

Your motor skills are off

Your emotions are all over the place

You get sick often

You’re having trouble seeing

Your skin isn’t looking good

You think you’ve fallen asleep at the wheel

ByRachel Swalin

[doesitgetbetter]

It be like that sometimes.

[doesitgetbetter]

I FUCKING HATE WHEN I GET SAD (please leave me alone).

Or something dumb happens that I can’t brush off.

I even realize my emotions are out of control, but I can’t stop them.

Then I get more frustrated because I don’t understand what my fucking problem is and I don’t want the emotions to happen.

I don’t want the tears to come.

Then I want to cry. I feel dumb for wanting to cry.

Always.

[doesitgetbetter]

It's all mental.

Admitting there is something wrong with you (something really, really wrong), is one of the most terrifying, humiliating, humbling, and boxed/bottled up emotion no one ever wants to talk about.

No one wants to admit feeling broken or weak.

No one does.

We all feel it, but most are embarrassed of it.

That’s why no one talks about it or see it as the disease ruining our society.

We are too polite to admit when we see you are sick and too sick to realize it in ourselves.

We all need help.

As soon as you admit it, you’ll at least be free.

[doesitgetbetter]

if you’re ever feeling sad or confused, sit (or lay down) in the dark with at least one window open so you can see the night. focus on yourself and try to reach an inner calm. cry if you need to; it’s therapy. take this time to think.

for me, (this might work for some, others not) i sit on my bed with my knees pulled up to my chest, look out the window at around midnight, and just think. sometimes i cry just because of all the pent up emotions, and sometimes i just let my mind run blank, as a form of meditation. remember, it’s different for everybody.