“Whether she died in vain is for me to decide.” Those words echoed in his head like thunder. Dark. Dangerous. Angry. Scared. A threat. A promise.
Naraku was no more, and the jewel had been wished out of existence. Sesshomaru had repaid his debt to Kagura, completing the task she had elicited his help for in so long ago. And yet, he could not find peace.
Kagura was gone, yet she was still around. She was the wind that would blow through his hair, a caress or a squall, her personality still shining through. Was it enough that he had destroyed her murderer? No.
“Whether she died in vain is for me to decide.” The words haunted him, mocked him, reminded him of his failure. Kagura’s death had changed him, had given him a new sword, and had made him realize how life could be there and gone within seconds.
Totosai had said his heart had obtained what it had been lacking, but what did that mean? Wasn’t it enough that Sesshomaru could not forget her? That Kagura had taught him to appreciate those he held dear because one day they would be gone for good? Rin, his ward, who he had grown to care for as if she were his own. Kohaku, the surprisingly reliable young human boy who he felt a sense of duty to after Kagura’s sacrifice, but had grow to care for in his own right? Jaken, who... Well Sesshomaru certainly did not love Jaken, but he continued to keep him around which counted for something.
It seemed everyone got their happy ending, except for her. If Sesshomaru were a lesser demon, he would perhaps mope about like his brother was doing since his, er, miko, was in her home country. But unlike his brother, Kagura was dead. She couldn’t come back like he was sure Inuyasha’s miko would.
“Whether she died in vain is for me to decide.” He would have saved her if he could have, but his sword would not work. The one time he had wished it to work, it lay still at his side, another glaring reminder of his failure.
Sesshomaru stiffened, as a familiar scent entered his range. Impossible. Just because he thought about her constantly did not mean he should smell her. It was a farce, a mockery of his pain and his inadequacy.
The smell... lingered. The wind blew gently. The sound of his name, like a whisper, a drug to his ear that made his eyes widen and his pulse quicken. Kagura? But how? He had watched her die. She no longer had a physical form that he could use to bring her back.
The scent, it was coming from above. Sesshomaru glanced up, surprised to see Kagura’s feather floating above his reach to the movement of the wind. It was hope. It was life. It was love.
Kagura was still here. She was the free wind. But now he had her feather, one of the physical objects she had left behind when she died. Perhaps there would be another way to bring her back.
“Whether she died in vain is for me to decide.” No. Those words no longer fit. As Sesshomaru reached up to take the feather, he made a new promise.
“I will help you find your freedom.” As Sesshomaru spoke those words, he felt the warm wind caress his face. Soon Kagura would be back. Her ghost would be replaced by the flesh and blood, and she would no longer be apart from him.
Inspired by this interview.
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