I relate to this on a spiritual level
when the energy drink doesn’t work
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Andulka
NASA
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
$LAYYYTER
Xuebing Du

Origami Around
Claire Keane
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sade Olutola
No title available

@theartofmadeline
Jules of Nature

JBB: An Artblog!
art blog(derogatory)
ojovivo

tannertan36

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@dolandank-blog
I relate to this on a spiritual level
when the energy drink doesn’t work
Pokemon Go
i may get thousands of notifications but that doesn’t mean i didn’t see u reblog my post and add “XD”
Top Tier Debating
Amazing
Oh god what has this world come to
I saw this in a movie theater today. In 2016. I’d say in the year of our lord but there’s obviously no god if this is allowed to happen.
what’s funnier than this is the fact that there are warehouses full of these fucking things because they’re cheap to make and the kids love em!*
*are completely indifferent about them
when anorld swartzanager saw tumblr he said get back in the chopper
mylife
And what a wonderful breakfast it was. I gave her a back rub after.
Tales of the Nasty
     So my friends and I were hanging out one day, talking about guy shit. And the weird kid walks up to the table. He was always talking about his obsession with Yu-Gi-Oh, or him talking about how he wants a hot black asian woman (???) to marry him, or how he wants to see a grown man in a bikini.
    The topic turns to girls. We are talking about famous actresses and whatnot, and he just turns and blurts out the name of some My Little Pony character. I cringed deep in my heart.
    Him and I are not friends. He once ruined an art project I had worked on for a week out of spite, (He was throwing pieces of paper at me and being a general pain in the ass, so I called him out on it.) and started laughing.Â
    So he starts trying to make fun of me, and I counter with “Yeah, well at least I’m not in love with a pony.” And he flips his shit, whining about how he is a victim because we were talking about girls in front him. Holy shit.
Bronies are very reasonable people.
Kappa.
pic unrelated yadda yadda… Anyway, I personally witnessed someone’s slide into cringe. For anonymity’s sake, I’ll call them Natasha
I’m currently in university, I’m living on campus and met Natasha at one of those “Make friends on campus!” events thrown at the beginning of the year for all the awkward kids (like myself). Things seemed pretty chill at first; They liked Homestuck and pokemon, but we talked about other stuff as well. overall she was a bit nerdy, but normal
A few weeks later Undertale came out, and Natasha went HARD into it. I didn’t mind at first -the game was brand new, I loved it myself and especially loved having someone I could talk about fan theories with- but as time went on that stayed the only thing she wanted to talk about. Worse yet, she began doing impressions. In particular she would always do an impression of Papyrus. Which basically boiled down to screeching “SANS!” at the top of her lungs in a horrible Skeletor voice. She did this in public… multiple times…
The conversations didn’t stay SFW either. She was especially obsessed with Sans, and would always talk about all the dirty things she wanted him to do to her or vice versa. Again in public, multiple times, after I made it clear she was making me uncomfortable. Did I mention she’s into petplay? Yeah, she’s the one they make those ASMRs for.
I don’t know if the year at university changed her or if Undertale opened the floodgates and poured fourth the cringe that had always been there, but by god was there a lot of it. Outside of her obsession she also stopped showering regularly and stank out her dorm room. Despite multiple people telling her to wash at least once a week she just kinda… doesn’t. I all but cut contact after she declared we were dating to nearly everyone we knew. Spoiler: we weren’t. Unless you count her attempting to kiss me while I desperately look for a reason to leave as dating.
more weeb harassment
the internet was a mistake
THE TIME FURRIES RUINED MY LITTLE SISTER’S HIGH SCHOOL
I’m breaking with my usual format of, “no caps, no punctuation,” because I bring you a story of horror and ecstasy. This story is relayed to you through the lens of my prose, but the events described come directly from my little sister. Some motivational interpretation is present on my part. This is the tale of Pelzignacht, also known as, “Spastic Furry Shitshow 2k15.”
The first thing you ought to know is that this takes place in a high school, a relatively affluent suburban high school. The second thing you ought to know is that the mascot for this high school is a wolf. Due to a caustic combination of too few responsibilities, too much allowance, and absurd levels of moral depravity, there was little chance that fetishistically niche subcultures wouldn’t form, and form they did. One in particular, however, is central to our story. The Furry clique. There was a tribe of furries in my little sister’s high school. They called themselves the Wolf Pack. And they all wore tails hanging from their belt loops, every day.
Yes. This is a true fact. This is a true fact that happened. I know. Calm down. It gets worse.
The vast majority of the rest of the school was sane, at least, and they tolerated the depraved troupe of degenerates for quite some time with little incident. However, given the opportunity to socially torment a pariah on the basis of shits and giggles, you can be assured a high school boy will eventually take it.
An especially volatile male furry got separated from the pack one day at lunch. Sensing the tangy wafts of basement-dweller sweat and stale semen on the air, a rambunctious herd of sophomore boys descended upon him, a ravening mass of cruelty. Within instants the Furry was divested of the fluffy treasure which dangled faithfully from the back of his mom-jeans, and the ancient secondary educational torture-rite of “keep away” began.
From my understanding this didn’t last all that long. Doubtless this was due to the presence of adults, such as any responsible institution keeps on guard during feeding hours. However, it apparently lasted just too long. Emotions which once had lay dormant in the Furry were awakened, raw rage surged through his veins, he put on his Grumpy Face and began darkly and magnificently to pout. He had tapped into that bottomless well of righteous umbrage accessible only by those who garb themselves with the wild’s veneers, that vast reserve of unceasing murderviolence that comes to the faunically inclined. He had the Furry Fury in his blood, and it wasn’t going to leave without action.
Somehow, by some mechanism which has been left unclear to me, this Furry lad made it perfectly clear to the populace that he was going to bring a gun to school the next day and murder the absolute fucking shit out of just, like, everyone. Yeah, I know. Seems a little extreme. This is why you don’t activate the trap card and unleash the Furry Fury.
Plot Twist: HE ACTUALLY BROUGHT THE FUCKING GUN. HE BROUGHT IT. Administration had been made aware of his impending Normie Holocaust, of course, and his personal Columbine was cut short literally just past the doors to the school. He was summarily arrested, expelled, and probably told he was kind of an asshole. Not necessarily in that order.
But this wasn’t to be the end of the story. A Furry doesn’t just bring a FUCKING FIREARM to a PUBLIC INSTITUTION OF LEARNING with the intent to ENACT SOME RADICAL BLOODSHED ON YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS without stimulating within you the baleful trumpets of the Bigot’s Irascible Disapprobation of the Bête Noire, thus triggering irrevocably the inception of Societal Cleansing Act 2: Electric Shoah-loo.
Basically what I’m saying is the entirety of the school went Electric Cherry Apeshit and started the most harrowing anti-Furry rumpus this side of the Westboro Baptist Church protesting Zootopia. Motherfuckers descended with impossible haste into a total brouhaha. Furries were gettin’ denuded of their fuzzy ass-lanyards left and right.
But this is where the story kicks into Obscene Tempest Hyperdrive, just in time to finish: There was one particular female furry who was utterly invested in the cause, to the extent she had terminated all relationships with anyone who wasn’t also a furry. She had apparently harangued her poor, clueless mother into sewing a tail onto every single pair of jeans she owned. Knowing furries, I can’t imagine she owned that many different pairs of jeans, but I digress. With this kind of dedication to the scene, one can only suppose that she was basically the Alpha of the Wolf Pack. Wow, it turns out that even using their terminology makes me feel somehow dirty and less human, who knew.
Anyway, sensing a heretofore incalculably magnificent opportunity for japery, and taking advantage of the complete breakdown of order within the halls, some irksome rapscallion took it upon himself to rip the tail off the back of her jeans.
But he didn’t actually rip it off the back of her jeans. He pulled it through her jeans.
He pulled it through the hole in the ass of her jeans, the hole that was apparently in all of her pairs of jeans.
I’d like you to take a moment to sit back and imagine this young man’s day. A mentally ill peer was just stymied in his attempt at taking your life. The resultant hullabaloo has completely exceeding the training and leadership abilities of the teachers to control it. You want to be a hero. You want to de-tail the alpha. And so stealthily, tasting your impending canonization all the while, you approach from behind. You grab the flocculent appendage, and with a mighty POP you yank it off.
…
Wait….a “pop?”
Oh look at that. You’re holding a butt plug with a tail on it. Who woulda guessed that she’d been wearing a BUTT PLUG, only, I dunno, EVERY SINGLE DAY TO THE POINT WHERE SHE HAD HOLES IN HER CLOTHES SPECIFICALLY FOR IT.
It’s my understanding that the face-rending hysteria which thereafter ensued prevented classes from getting anything done for a fair couple of days.
tl;dr some kids tormented a furry until he tried to go fullscale school shooting on their asses. Furries subsequently harrassed, one of them had been wearing a butt plug tail to school every day.
They asked us to reblog this, and it’s deserved.
THE TIME FURRIES RUINED MY LITTLE SISTER’S HIGH SCHOOL
I’m breaking with my usual format of, “no caps, no punctuation,” because I bring you a story of horror and ecstasy. This story is relayed to you through the lens of my prose, but the events described come directly from my little sister. Some motivational interpretation is present on my part. This is the tale of Pelzignacht, also known as, “Spastic Furry Shitshow 2k15.”
The first thing you ought to know is that this takes place in a high school, a relatively affluent suburban high school. The second thing you ought to know is that the mascot for this high school is a wolf. Due to a caustic combination of too few responsibilities, too much allowance, and absurd levels of moral depravity, there was little chance that fetishistically niche subcultures wouldn’t form, and form they did. One in particular, however, is central to our story. The Furry clique. There was a tribe of furries in my little sister’s high school. They called themselves the Wolf Pack. And they all wore tails hanging from their belt loops, every day.
Yes. This is a true fact. This is a true fact that happened. I know. Calm down. It gets worse.
The vast majority of the rest of the school was sane, at least, and they tolerated the depraved troupe of degenerates for quite some time with little incident. However, given the opportunity to socially torment a pariah on the basis of shits and giggles, you can be assured a high school boy will eventually take it.
An especially volatile male furry got separated from the pack one day at lunch. Sensing the tangy wafts of basement-dweller sweat and stale semen on the air, a rambunctious herd of sophomore boys descended upon him, a ravening mass of cruelty. Within instants the Furry was divested of the fluffy treasure which dangled faithfully from the back of his mom-jeans, and the ancient secondary educational torture-rite of “keep away” began.
From my understanding this didn’t last all that long. Doubtless this was due to the presence of adults, such as any responsible institution keeps on guard during feeding hours. However, it apparently lasted just too long. Emotions which once had lay dormant in the Furry were awakened, raw rage surged through his veins, he put on his Grumpy Face and began darkly and magnificently to pout. He had tapped into that bottomless well of righteous umbrage accessible only by those who garb themselves with the wild’s veneers, that vast reserve of unceasing murderviolence that comes to the faunically inclined. He had the Furry Fury in his blood, and it wasn’t going to leave without action.
Somehow, by some mechanism which has been left unclear to me, this Furry lad made it perfectly clear to the populace that he was going to bring a gun to school the next day and murder the absolute fucking shit out of just, like, everyone. Yeah, I know. Seems a little extreme. This is why you don’t activate the trap card and unleash the Furry Fury.
Plot Twist: HE ACTUALLY BROUGHT THE FUCKING GUN. HE BROUGHT IT. Administration had been made aware of his impending Normie Holocaust, of course, and his personal Columbine was cut short literally just past the doors to the school. He was summarily arrested, expelled, and probably told he was kind of an asshole. Not necessarily in that order.
But this wasn’t to be the end of the story. A Furry doesn’t just bring a FUCKING FIREARM to a PUBLIC INSTITUTION OF LEARNING with the intent to ENACT SOME RADICAL BLOODSHED ON YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS without stimulating within you the baleful trumpets of the Bigot’s Irascible Disapprobation of the Bête Noire, thus triggering irrevocably the inception of Societal Cleansing Act 2: Electric Shoah-loo.
Basically what I’m saying is the entirety of the school went Electric Cherry Apeshit and started the most harrowing anti-Furry rumpus this side of the Westboro Baptist Church protesting Zootopia. Motherfuckers descended with impossible haste into a total brouhaha. Furries were gettin’ denuded of their fuzzy ass-lanyards left and right.
But this is where the story kicks into Obscene Tempest Hyperdrive, just in time to finish: There was one particular female furry who was utterly invested in the cause, to the extent she had terminated all relationships with anyone who wasn’t also a furry. She had apparently harangued her poor, clueless mother into sewing a tail onto every single pair of jeans she owned. Knowing furries, I can’t imagine she owned that many different pairs of jeans, but I digress. With this kind of dedication to the scene, one can only suppose that she was basically the Alpha of the Wolf Pack. Wow, it turns out that even using their terminology makes me feel somehow dirty and less human, who knew.
Anyway, sensing a heretofore incalculably magnificent opportunity for japery, and taking advantage of the complete breakdown of order within the halls, some irksome rapscallion took it upon himself to rip the tail off the back of her jeans.
But he didn’t actually rip it off the back of her jeans. He pulled it through her jeans.
He pulled it through the hole in the ass of her jeans, the hole that was apparently in all of her pairs of jeans.
I’d like you to take a moment to sit back and imagine this young man’s day. A mentally ill peer was just stymied in his attempt at taking your life. The resultant hullabaloo has completely exceeding the training and leadership abilities of the teachers to control it. You want to be a hero. You want to de-tail the alpha. And so stealthily, tasting your impending canonization all the while, you approach from behind. You grab the flocculent appendage, and with a mighty POP you yank it off.
…
Wait….a “pop?”
Oh look at that. You’re holding a butt plug with a tail on it. Who woulda guessed that she’d been wearing a BUTT PLUG, only, I dunno, EVERY SINGLE DAY TO THE POINT WHERE SHE HAD HOLES IN HER CLOTHES SPECIFICALLY FOR IT.
It’s my understanding that the face-rending hysteria which thereafter ensued prevented classes from getting anything done for a fair couple of days.
tl;dr some kids tormented a furry until he tried to go fullscale school shooting on their asses. Furries subsequently harrassed, one of them had been wearing a butt plug tail to school every day.
They asked us to reblog this, and it’s deserved.
Just got eye cancer.
I just went blind
Bronies are the scum of this earth even worse than 4 chan + the church of Scientology