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BREAKUP

AN EXCERPT FROM “OPPOSITES ATTRACT” ♬⋆.˚

୨ synopsis : you and frat!sukuna break up after going through a rough patch. determined on going no contact , you bury yourself in your work and try to go on , business as usual. that is , until sukuna can no longer ignore the growing ache in his heart ꪆ

୨ warnings / tags : college au : long awaited sukuna's pov : banter : yozoru's sukuna's ex : angst : fluff : reader is still his tutor : mentions of cheating : drinking : rina is reader's roommate , and is lightly inspired by chris from tatilb : tatilb themes : they're both whipped : reader is insecure : sukuna's vulnerable : no use of y/n : sukuna is yearner of the year : sukuna being sukuna : gojo and geto are comedic relief : rina is wingwoman of the year ꪆ 𓂃 . ❤︎ INSPIRED BY "BREAKUP" BY TIFFANY DAY

‹ ︎ ✦ WORD COUNT 13k

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ MASTERLIST ⟡ TAGLIST ⟡ GRAPHIC BY ME

AUTHOR'S NOTE ⟡ thank you for the support my loves , i appreciate you guys so much. this is just an excerpt / continuation from the last drabble , so there will be some easter eggs throughout the fic. keep in mind that the full one-shot is still otw !

You were gathering your things at the end of class when you heard footsteps behind you. You looked up and saw Yozoru, one of the star athletes at your school, glaring back at you. Due to her being in your graduating class, you knew she was one of Sukuna’s past girlfriends. She had her arms crossed and her eyes bored into you. Your heart dropped to your stomach. Despite having several classes together in the past, she’d never acknowledged you before today…and just based on her expression alone, you could tell that what was about to happen was going to be anything but good.

You furrowed your brows, clearly confused, and she rolled her eyes. You weren’t liking her attitude at all. Everything about her demeanor screamed bad news, but it was as if your feet were planted to the ground. You couldn’t move, you could only watch in horror as she finally opened her mouth to speak.

“Whatever is going on with you and Suki, you might as well end it. You’re just another virgin loser throwing herself at him in hopes of getting lucky. It’s embarrassing.” She emphasized the last word like the thought of it alone made her physically ill. You were at a loss of words. You didn’t know where to unpack the word vomit that just left her mouth. Who the hell was “Suki” and why was she just calling you names unwarranted? He came to you for tutoring, not the other way around. And when did tutoring turn into throwing yourself at him? It was obviously by chance. Your head was spinning from the million things flying through your mind.

“We only just now started dating” you replied, voice shaky, “I don’t know why you felt the need to come at me like this. I haven’t done anything to you.”

“I’m doing you a favor by telling you you’re wasting your time.” She scoffed at your puzzled expression and shook her head. “He doesn’t date girls like you.”

What did “girls like you" mean? You weren’t very popular, but you weren’t actively seeking to be. “Please, just leave me alone.” You side stepped and scurried past her before she could assault you with her words again. Even though you knew she was probably being fueled by jealousy and possessiveness, you still felt uneasy. You weren’t sure when or how her and Sukuna had broken up—you weren’t that invested in everyone’s love lives—but you were pretty sure nothing warranted her confronting you. This was crazy and not at all what you had signed up for.

You finally reached your car and hurried in to lock the doors. Paranoia was one way to describe it, but you’d rather call it being smart. She seemed crazy, and like Rina had told you, she got away with everything because she was so good at her sport. She’s gotten out of cheating on exams, failing drug tests, and so on. It was insane how untouchable she was. You weren’t taking any chances. You took a deep breath and started the car. The drive home was silent. No music, no podcasts, nothing.

“I spend my hours thinkin' 'bout us and the way that things are”

You went over all the events that have brought you here. You couldn’t control that Sukuna ended up being one of the people you were tutoring. You could control how you interacted: focusing more on the actual content, not joking around and indulging in his shenanigans and so on, but you didn’t want to hold back. As much as you hated to admit it at the time, you had looked forward to your sessions. He made you laugh and he kept you on your toes. Each and every session was something new. You never knew what to expect with him. You could have controlled going on the date. Could have said no, could have ignored his texts altogether that night. But once again, you liked talking to him. Him asking you out was the best surprise ever, and you couldn't be more grateful for it. But, was it worth it? How you felt for him, was it worth Yozoru’s wrath?

“It's like I'm over-obsessing over someone I barely know. I convinced myself I think maybe I'd be better alone”

No it wasn’t, you decided. You had other things going for you, all these good things working towards your future. Unnecessary distractions would only make you lose sight of what matters most. Distancing yourself from him might be what’s best. Yozoru would get off your back and maybe then you’d be able to finally find peace of mind. As much as you ran this thought through your head—to the point of exhaustion—you didn’t believe yourself. Your head hurt so badly, the stress from this past week has been getting to you. If it weren’t for your applications already being turned in, you’d explode from the stress of all the pending tasks alone. With a heavy heart, you got in bed and slept off the headache.

The next couple of days, you kept your distance. Burying yourself in your studies was what you knew best. Doing so was anything but healthy, but it was all you’ve ever known. It robbed you of making and maintaining the relationships in your life, but it was a fair trade. Pouring yourself into your work only ever ended with you reaping the benefits anyway. It was your fault for thinking you could have your cake and eat it too.

Rina was in and out of the dorm as usual. You were yet to tell her about the run in with Yozoru. She’d definitely be on your side, but you weren’t sure what advice she’d give you. You knew deep down, you couldn’t ignore your boyfriend forever. He’d never admit it but, he could be pretty clingy behind closed doors. It didn’t help that he could always see right through you. Nothing could get past him.

That night, you came home to the sound of the sink running. You walked into the kitchen and saw Rina washing dishes.

“Rina?”

She turned around and beamed at you. “Oh my gosh hi, how are you?” She dried her hands with a rag and pulled you into a hug. She smelled nice, like a sweet cinnamon, which was fitting for her personality. You pulled away and smiled back at her. “I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m good, I just miss you. I cleaned up the dorm as my sorry for disappearing, I’ve been picking up a lot of shifts at work and school has been…well, you know.” She sighed.

“I understand. I’m glad to see you too. Thank you! You didn’t have to, that's so sweet.” You squeezed her arm lightly. Your eyes scanned the dorm. It was sparkling clean. You weren’t a total pig, but the place had definitely been overdue for some tidying up with you being distracted and all.

“Let me finish up here and we can catch up?”

You nodded and she turned back to the sink. You walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Your belongings were long forgotten on the floor. These past few days, you’d done every homework assignment available, including the ones due in a few weeks. You watched videos online to be able to understand the ones that went over content you haven’t covered yet in class. That’s how you kept busy: constantly searching for something to do.

You heard the sink turn off and Rina knocked lightly on the door before stepping inside.

“Okay, I’m all done. What’s new with you?”

You started off light, telling her about classes and other school related things. You were afraid of telling her about Yozoru. Saying what happened out loud made it more real, including the harsh things she had said to you.

“How’s your week been though? Tell me about it.” She handed you your favorite snack and took a sip of her water. Rina had always been genuine. Despite her spontaneous disappearances, she always made sure to catch up with you and check in to see if you were okay.

“Honestly, not the best. Yozoru kind of ruined it.”

Rina sat up. “Yozoru?!?”

“Yeah, she confronted me the other day in class.”

Rina choked on her water. “She did what?”

You took a deep breath and explained the incident to her. Her eyes were as big as saucers, and her mouth curved in a deep frown.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” she said sympathetically. “She’s insane. Why is she pressing you? She’s acting as if Sukuna gives her the time of the day. He ignores her now and she hates it. Instead of thinking maybe, ‘Oh, I must be the problem,’ she bothers any girls he interacts with to cope with the fact that he doesn’t fuck with her anymore. It’s sick.”

You blinked in confusion “Wait, so she has no place to be bothering me over him?”

“None at all. They broke up ages ago because she was trying to homie hop back to Gojo. I guess Sukuna got tired of her being unfaithful. Are you okay though?”

Her question barely registered in your head. You were too focused on what she just dropped on you: Sukuna was cheated on? He never mentioned that to you. Was it on purpose? Withholding that information seemed pretty deliberate. Then again, maybe it was just a sensitive subject…

“I was a little shaken up at first, but I’m fine now,” you lied, “I can’t believe she cheated on him and expects him to still want her in his life.”

“The audacity of that woman. Honestly, Ryomen Sukuna is many things, but he is loyal. Yozoru’s infidelity was one-sided. Sukuna will break up with a girl out of the blue if it meant making sure she knew how he felt, when he felt it. He’s never been unfaithful, just blunt. And girls hate that,” Rina chuckled, “I don’t blame them, but I’d rather that than finding out my boyfriend is sleeping with someone else. Sukuna might be the last loyal frat guy left.”

“Or ever,” you joked.

You both laughed. The cheating scandals out of that fraternity house were insane. And when they mixed with the sorority girls? Hell on earth.

“Wait. Did I tell you about…” She complained to you about one of the classes she was taking that you took last semester. You nodded and gave your input here and there, but your mind was still stuck on all that happened. You’d made a point not to say what Yozoru had said verbatim, it was too humiliating. Sure, Rina probably knew, but you still felt embarrassed. There was some truth to what Yozoru was saying, and you didn't want to hear what Rina thought about it, afraid of your worst fear being confirmed.

“I think about it time to time, think about what it'll be. To be with somebody similar, somebody just like me. It doesn't make a lot of sense 'cause boy, you give me the world”

It was obvious to pretty much everyone how different you and Sukuna were, that was no secret. But did these differences, specifically your own, make having something together—or him—completely unattainable? All of this would be so much easier if you were dating someone more in your league. Someone as quiet and shy as you, who you could experience your firsts with together: first date, first kiss, first time having sex, and so on. Complications would be minimal compared to what you had going on with Sukuna. Though, what you had with Sukuna was good. Outside of all this craziness, he made you feel seen and loved. There were obstacles of course, but he constantly made an effort for you. Were you really that ungrateful to wish for someone else? You felt guilty for even entertaining that thought. You couldn’t decide what to feel. On one hand you were immensely grateful, but on the other hand, your mind wandered to places it shouldn’t. You just hoped that you were making the right decision.

You felt awful. You’d taken the distancing thing a little too far, and now he was demanding to see you. The notifications from him spamming your phone flooded your lockscreen.

sukuna: feels like i haven’t see you in forever sukuna: yes i know our session is tmr, i don’t care sukuna: wanna meet up ? sukuna: if you say no, i’m leaving you a bad review on yelp

Yelp? You weren’t even on Yelp. You giggled and unlocked your phone.

you: i’m not on yelp, but thanks for the suggestion

sukuna: so she’s alive

Okay, now he was just being dramatic. You have been replying to his texts. Yes, you were dry and the responses were a little delayed, but you were replying.

you: someone’s a bit dramatic

sukuna: k.

you: wow, we’ve devolved from “ok” to “k.” monumental.

sukuna: Ok.

sukuna: is that better ? sukuna: are you coming or not

You hesitated. You felt like a huge jerk, but if that’s what it took for you to not have a repeat of last night where you felt the insecurities eating you alive, even before the two of you could really start something, then so be it.

you: Can’t, sorry. I have to work on internship applications

sukuna: alright, then. good luck

You’d worked on and submitted them the day before yesterday, but he didn’t need to know that. You yawned and stretched before you laid your head on your desk. A wave of drowsiness hit you. You desperately needed to get your mind off of things. Drowning in schoolwork definitely wasn’t the way to do it. It was starting to drain you more. You glanced at your bed and contemplated going to sleep early tonight. It would help you relax and you’ve been sleeping so late since you were up working…

You got up from your desk and crawled into bed. The second your head hit the pillow, you knocked out.

The beeping sound right next to your ear was not a part of your imagination. You groaned softly and lifted your head up. You fumbled your hand around your nightstand until you grabbed your phone. The bright light blinded you and you winced. The time read 9:07. You rubbed your eyes and blinked at your phone. 9:07…?

Crap. You leapt from your bed and dashed to shower. Of course you slept through your alarm. You didn’t even get to finish reading for your lab procedure for your second class today. You’d fallen asleep in the middle of it yesterday. You dashed out of your dorm in record time and got to class with a minute to spare. The professor started the lecture promptly at 9:30 and you took a second to catch your breath. It felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. The adrenaline was still rushing through your blood. The professor droned on about last night’s reading, which you luckily completed before your nap turned into deep slumber, though there was definitely something you forgot to do you just couldn’t put your finger on it…

It wasn’t until you saw Yozoru, who had been shooting daggers your way, as you left the room once lecture was over that you realized. Once again, you had forgotten to prepare a study plan for you and Sukuna’s session. It was remarkable really. You pushed him out of your head so far back you forgot about the one and only that you couldn’t avoid. You groaned and checked your schedule. If you studied during lunch, you’d have time to get some of it done. You dragged your feet to your next class, which was lab, and prayed it would all work out.

It did end up working out, thank god, but barely. By the time of the session, your brain was fried and you just wanted to go home. On top of that, you had to make a point of not engaging with his usual shenanigans, despite you really wanting to. You took off your headphones and reminded yourself it was for your own good and sanity. You just hoped your efforts would be worth it.

The second Sukuna walked up to you, you knew something was off. His eyes narrowed at you suspiciously before he took a seat.

“How are you?”

You looked up from your notebook and blinked at him. “Um, good. What about you?”

“I’m okay. Could be better,” he replied flatly.

You frowned at your paper. You weren’t going to bite. Engaging would distract you from what really mattered: helping him with his statistics coursework. Aimless conversation was out of the picture for the two of you now. “Ready to start?” You asked him cheerfully.

He leaned back in his chair and nodded. “Yeah sure,” he said in a monotone. Great. So he really was upset with you for not hanging out with him yesterday. If you told him upfront that you wanted space, you weren’t really sure how he’d take it. Knowing him, it would probably hurt his ego.

The two of you got to work. You were glad that you squeezed in some time to create the plan. The statistics class he was in was progressing to more difficult material. He struggled a bit, but halfway through he was starting to get the hang out of it.

“This isn’t as hard as I thought.” He scanned the page of practice problems that the two of you just completed together.

“Mhm,” you murmured in agreement.

“Maybe. You’re still speaking in riddles and this class is still a waste of my time.” You blinked at him in confusion. All you said was “mhm.” No, you were not falling for it, you refused.

“Okay! Next page,” you said cheerfully. Trying to ignore it wasn’t the best approach, but it was all you could muster. It killed you not to say something witty back, something that would take him a second to understand. You didn’t even get a chance to mourn your past sessions and appreciate them, you immediately got hit with whatever the hell this was.

“Nah, I wanna take a break.” Without waiting for a response from you, he got up from his seat abruptly and walked off.

You gaped at his empty chair for a few seconds before scrambling to follow after him. He made it halfway across the library by the time you caught up with him.

“I meant a solo break,” He said pointedly. You scoffed. He needed to cool it. He was starting to get on your nerves again.

“We’ve never taken breaks before so I just wanted to clarify,” you chirped. This was starting to put a strain on your resolve. There was no book, no class that could teach you how to handle a wounded ego. Even if there was, you were sure he was too big to tend.

He narrowed his eyes at you for the nth time today before sighing. “We’ve never done any of this before. What’s going on with you?” He put his hands up in surrender. “And I don't mean passing on seeing me yesterday. That’s valid, you have your own things. I mean the fact you didn’t have your lesson plan ready for today, the eyebags under your eyes, and the way you’re treating me like some fucking stranger.”

You were stunned. He just read you to filth in the middle of the library. You were unarmed, completely unprepared to be hit with that. Your brain could barely process what was said before he started again.

“I’ve tried my best to reach out and get to know you. I thought you wanted the same. It seemed like you did, but the way you’re treating me now is like I’m this huge asshole. If I did anything to offend you, please tell me. I’ll fix it, whatever it is, just please…it feels like I’m basically begging you to make fun of me. I kinda am since I miss joking around with you and you using your smart puns and your statistics nonsense on me, but I don’t even care at this point. The vibe is off. Can we go back to the way we were? The day at Pam’s, the party, the everything has been the highlight of my year. Don’t tell me that that was our peak.”

“Sukuna … slow down.” Your head was spinning. You took the chair nearest to you and sat down. His brows furrowed in concern and he sat next to you.

“Shit, sorry. That was a lot to dump on you at once.”

“It was,” you agreed. “How did you know I didn’t do my notes ahead of time?”

“Your handwriting gets super shitty when you don’t. Like our second session, when I saw you with your headphones on right before we were supposed to meet, your handwriting was straight ass compared to the first, third, and so on,” he said matter of factly. You glared at him and he grinned.

“Gee thanks,” you said sarcastically. You made a mental note to write a bit slower when you were in a rush to avoid sloppy notes.

“Anytime,” he said with a wink and you groaned.

“Are my eyebags really that bad?” You braced yourself for his answer.

He shot you a sympathetic look. “Do you want me to lie to make you feel better?”

“Wowww, okay. I’ll just die then I guess,” you deadpanned.

“If you die, who’s going to teach me the wonders of pastel pens?”

You glared at him once more and he laughed. “Seriously though. Get some sleep. You look like a fucking zombie,” he paused, “Respectfully.”

You gasped. “Oh. Oh okay. Noted. Also, saying respectfully at the end doesn’t automatically make it respectful,” you protested.

He stared at you. “Um, yes it does?

“No it doesn't."

“It cancels out,” he insisted, “PEMDAS.”

“PEM—,” you couldn't hold your laughter in, “PEMDAS?!”

“Why are you laughing?” He grumbled.

Your stomach burned as you laughed over how ridiculous he was. You were sure to have abs by the time you caught your breath, your abdomen was on fire.

“Holy shit,” you wheezed. “PEMDAS? Oh Ry, I think the alcohol is starting to seep into your brain and destroy your brain cells."

He scoffed, “Just say you don’t get it, it's okay.”

“You’re right, I don't. Because it’s wrong.”

“Wanna bet on it?”

Not this again. “Err…no?”

“Why not? You get so cute when you win them.”

There it was again. He was doing this on purpose, flustering you so you could get off track. It was the way he could counter your jokes by immediately stunning you into silence. Even though you were together, it still worked every single time. Your eyes glued to the floor to avoid meeting his eyes.

“Uh, I think break time is over,” you muttered, barely audible for him to hear.

He leaned in to hear you better. “Sorry, what was that?” Your heart stopped at how close he was. Memories flooded of the very first time he did this. You couldn’t even tell if he really couldn't hear you, or if he was trying to fluster you again. Honestly, it was probably a mix of both.

You got up from your seat and pushed it back in place. “Break time is over. We have another—” You glanced at the clock on the wall. “Five-ish minutes until our scheduled time is up. Let’s make the most of it!”

Sukuna groaned, but followed you back to your table. He completed two more problems before the session was up. Once it was time, you quickly packed your things up. You zipped up your bag hurried to get out when you heard a soft thud behind you. You turned around and saw Sukuna picking something up. You froze as you realized it was your planner that had your to do list.

“Oops, that’s my fault. Thank you,” you tried to take it from him but he inspected it.

“‘Work on internship applications.’ Huh, it’s dated three days ago. But I thought you told me you were working on them yesterday? That’s weird,” he wondered out loud. He placed the paper in your hand and grabbed his bag. He brushed past you without a word. No goodbye. No “see you next week” with his stupid smirk. Just silence. He had caught you in your very stupid lie, and now he was even more upset at you. You then realized you addressed all of his points except one: why you were treating him like a “stranger.” To be honest, you didn’t have a clear answer yourself. Yozoru definitely was why, but not for the reasons you wanted to admit. You dragged your feet back to your car and drove home.

To no one's surprise, Rina wasn't home. You laid on your bed and tried to unpack the nightmare session you just had. Were you being too prideful? Just coming clean about it would make it all easier. Sukuna could talk to Yozoru and tell her to leave you alone, then the two of you could move on like before. That sounded right, but it didn't feel right. Deep down, the seed that Yozoru planted was beginning to blossom. An ugly, dull flower of self-doubt. This flower couldn't be uprooted from telling her to back off. It was far too late. Her words had done enough damage, confirming the fears that had only lived in the deepest depths of your mind.

“I, I feel selfish

Don't deserve you

Do I even know what love is?

You wanted Sukuna badly. So badly, you considered acknowledging his third point. He didn't deserve to be in the dark, he didn't do anything other than be sweet to you. Now he had reason to believe he'd done something awful for you to pull away. That couldn't be further from the truth, but still...you couldn't bring yourself to tell him what was actually going on.

You wished Rina was here to give you some advice. She'd know exactly how to handle it and explain it to where you'd understand. Even without advice, she's always been a good listener and a shoulder to cry on. Lord knows what you've gotten yourself into now.

SUKUNA'S POV

If Sukuna took a shot every time you’ve sent him a mixed signal in the past twenty four hours, he’d be blackout drunk. Actually, he’d die from alcohol poisoning. He prided himself in being a good communicator—too good at times, girls hated how blunt he was when he wanted to call it quits—but it felt like all his efforts were falling short. You were pushing him away, completely out of the blue at that, and he couldn’t figure out why. “Why?” was the number one thing on his mind. He ran through every scenario in his head, everything he said to you and how you reacted. Did he go too far? Before today’s session, you hadn’t seen each other in a bit, and you weren’t upset with him a few days ago. What could possibly have changed in such a short amount of time?

Geto and Gojo dragged him to a party to “clear his head.”

“We all go through girl troubles, but it’s not the end of the world.” Gojo patted him on the back and handed him a shot. “Not much you can do now.”

“Even you know you’re smarter than that Gojo,” he replied and downed the glass. “I could go over to her place and talk to her so I can finally get to the bottom of this.”

“What happens if you don’t find out what’s going on? What if she pushes you away even further?” Geto pointed out. Sukuna glared at him and huffed. “Then at least I can say I tried and not have run away like a coward,” he gestured at Gojo who was stuffing his face with chips. He looked up and pouted at him. Geto shook his head in disbelief and turned to Sukuna.

“I’m confused. I don’t think there’s ever been a time where you are the one fighting for the relationship. It’s always been the other way around. Is she really that special? Be completely honest with yourself.”

“Obviously,” Sukuna replied, “Why else would I be worrying about all of this whilst being here?” He nodded to the lively party: people were dancing, some were playing beer pong in the living room, and others were scattered around in groups, chatting away. "She's worth it.” Sukuna meant it. When he walked into the library all those weeks ago, he had low expectations. The class wasn’t even that hard, he just couldn’t be bothered to care about it. The promise he made wasn’t a part of the plan at all. He was to only bring his grade up for the time being. He didn’t expect to promise to actually try and make good on it, but he was so glad he did.

Now he sat on the couch, watching other people have fun while he wallowed away. It was ironic really. Usually, the roles were reversed. Sukuna hardly let anyone in enough to care so much about them. If it didn’t work out, fine. He’d find someone else, like he always did. Though, he doubted he could find anyone like you.

“Bro come on.”

Sukuna glanced up and saw Geto approaching him. He looked slightly annoyed and he had his drink in hand. “Guess who’s here?”

Sukuna rolled his eyes. “If it’s not her, I don’t care,” he said bluntly. He was bored of Geto and Gojo’s antics. Shoving him towards another girl wasn’t going to fix the problem at hand.

“It’s a different her…” He trailed off to see if Sukuna would bite. He didn’t. He was extremely unimpressed by Thing 1 and Thing 2's attempts to distract him. He had a bored expression as he watched the football game on the TV screen in front of him.

“Yozoru?” Sukuna didn’t even blink. His eyes were glued on the screen in front of him. “Dude, she’s walking over here right now,” Gojo urged him, waving his hands in Sukuna’s face.

Sukuna barely even acknowledged Gojo. “Move your chubby hands,” he snarled. He really wanted to see which team would score the touchdown. He couldn’t if the idiot got in his way.

Gojo lowered his arms and slowly inched away from Sukuna. Him and Geto scurried off and Sukuna got a whiff of a rather strong floral perfume. He sighed deeply before glaring at the woman beside him.

“What do you want now?”

Her face broke into a grin. Sukuna exhaled, already agitated. He gave her what he wanted—attention—but he still felt as though he was about to suffer for it.

“Just saying hi, I can’t just say hello and be friendly?”

Sukuna rolled his eyes and turned back to the screen. “No.”

Yozoru frowned. She had him, then she lost him, like usual. Still, she needed to rub it in his face. “I met your new girlfriend the other day. She’s cute.”

Sukuna closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Yozoru and her damn games. Her timing couldn't be worse. Did she know the two of you were having issues? Or was she just rubbing it all in his face for the sake of it? Sukuna couldn’t tell, both were plausible reasons. Either way, finding out would give her the validation she was so desperately seeking, and he didn’t want to be the one to give it to her.

“You guys are so different though. I didn’t expect you to go after a girl so… sooo…”

As she struggled to find an adjective, Sukuna was on the edge of his seat. The team he was cheering for was this close to scoring and he was very invested. He silently cursed himself for not betting on a team earlier. It could have been an easy pay day.

Yozoru’s eyes lit up. “Timid, that’s the word. She’s like a little mouse, which is so different from anyone else you’ve been with,” she said, voice dripping with venom. She was back with the condescending tone she always used on him, and now, she was armed with Sukuna’s latest weakness: you.

Sukuna clenched his jaw. He didn’t like that she was insulting you, especially right in front of him, but what she wanted was a reaction. He vowed not to retort, even though she deserved it. His eyes followed the screen as one of the players in red dashed down the last couple yards to the opponent’s side. Come on, come on, Sukuna silently urged, Bring it home.

“And you’re emotionally invested for once. The roles are reversed. This time, you’re the one all in your feelings when she could care less.”

“Anddd…TOUCHDOWN!” The announcer yelled on the TV. The crowd painted in red went wild. The players jumped around and did a celebratory dance, but they no longer had Sukuna’s attention. It had now shifted to her.

“That must fucking suck, huh? The one time you put your heart on the line and actually give a fuck about the person you’re dating, you mean nothing to them.” Her words cut deep, severing whatever tenacity he had left into shreds. Now, fear settled as her words sunk in. Was that what it was? Did you just not care about him anymore? On a random day, you decided he wasn’t worth your time? He thought there was something there, something that was worth risking it all for. Did he have it wrong all this time?

The smirk returned to Yozoru’s face. It was working. Self doubt was closing in on Sukuna, he could no longer out run it. He couldn’t ignore the fact that everything he’s ever wanted was slipping from his fingers, and right before his eyes. The instant replay review played in the background as Sukuna unclenched his jaw and muttering, “Just fuck off Yozoru.”

She scoffed, “What? You’re mad because she’s just using you to get into parties? You really think your selfish ass is actually lovable?” She snickered and shook her head. “No, you’re clearly being used to raise her social status.”

What the actual fuck was her problem? Sukuna’s chest tightened and he glared at her. “Must take one to know one, huh?” His eyes bore into hers and she frowned. “Leave me and the people I care about alone, you parasite,” he spat out.

She blinked at him, slightly taken aback, “Whatever that means. Just know you have to confront the truth sooner or later.” She shot him one last look and walked off. Sukuna finally let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He knew better than anyone that she was just trying to get under his skin. She’s done it millions of times before, even trying to get in between him and Gojo in the past. As much as he tried to get her words out of his head, her strong perfume was still lingering in the air, so he got up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen.

Gojo and Geto looked up from their game of beer pong and looked at him expectantly. “Well? How did it go?” Gojo demanded.

“You look like you just shit your pants,” Geto noted.

Did he? Sukuna huffed and shook his head. “Shut up. She’s just trying to get at me. It’s nothing.” He shrugged his shoulders casually, but his heart wasn’t in it at all.

“She’s lame anyway. Wanna join us?” Geto raised an eyebrow at him.

Normally, he’d be so down to drink and goof off with them, but after Yozoru’s little stunt, his stomach was in knots. “Nah, I’m good. I think I’ma head out.”

Gojo and Geto exchanged a look before nodding. “Alright man, get home safe.” They patted each other on the back and Sukuna made his way out, away from the prying eyes of everyone at the party.

"Wake up! Gosh, you're a heavy sleeper."

You jolted awake and saw Rina staring back at you. She still had on going out clothes and her makeup was somehow still flawless. You didn’t even bother attempting to contain your jealousy.

"Hello stranger. I'm back bearing news." She turned on the big light and you groaned softly. "Turn it off please."

"Oh oops." She turned it back off and turned on the lamp on your nightstand. You yawned and rubbed your eyes. This better be good.

"Do you want the good news or bad news first?"

What was up with that question lately? Edging you with the illusion of choice wasn't going to make the news anymore digestible.

"Why don't you pick?" You yawned again and stretched. You wanted to go back to sleep. Couldn't the gossip wait?

"So Yozoru approached Sukuna at the party I was at. Obviously he wasn't having it. He ignored her until she had the audacity to bring up you. She basically bad-mouthed you and claimed you just wanted to social climb or some bullshit like that. And holy shit was Sukuna pissed." Her eyes were practically shining as she told the story.

You blinked at your roommate. You were baffled. Here you thought you'd hear about your favorite couple breaking up or something, but no. For some reason, you were being brought up at social events. And for what? You kept to yourself and didn't bother anyone.

"He said that it took one to know one and told her to leave him and the people he cared about alone, then he stormed off."

"Oh." was all you could say. He still cared about you despite you pushing him away lately. That was nice to hear, but guilt was starting to build up. You didn't deserve that loyalty, especially not from him with the way you’ve been treating him away lately.

"I know right. I can't really tell if that's the good news or the bad news actually,” she furrowed her brows as if she was deep in thought. “Anyway, he's here."

You went still. Now you were awake. "Here? As in....?"

"Yep. Told him you were asleep, he said he'd wait outside until you woke up. I stated the obvious and said that probably won't be until morning, and he asked if it was okay if he sat on our front porch..."

"Rina," you said carefully, "How long ago was this?"

"The argument at the party or him coming over to the dorm?"

"Both?!"

"Oh, hmmm. Maybe an hour or two ago?"

You scrambled out of bed and headed to the nearest mirror. You yanked off your bonnet and tried to make yourself look somewhat presentable. There was no drool or eye crust—thank god—but your damn eye bags...You scanned the counter for your concealer before you heard Rina behind you.

"You're seriously wasting time putting on makeup? If he can’t accept you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best. You look fine. Now go. I know you, you're stalling,” she said sternly.

You frowned. Okay, so what if you were stalling? He did mention the eye bags earlier and he was right, they have gotten worse, you hadn’t been sleeping well as of late. Dedicating your blood, sweat, and tears to working came with costs.

"Did he say what he wanted to talk about? I'm scared." Even though he had told his ex to back off, you still felt uneasy about everything. You didn't feel worthy of his touch, his praise, his anything. The more you spiraled, the more you pulled away from him.

“I have zero clue. All I know is he asked for privacy, so I offered to drop by Jason’s while you talked. I’ll slip out the back door,”

You gaped at her. “You’re leaving me?!”

“Yes, it’s for your own good. This way, you can finally resolve whatever’s going on between you and be happy. The weird ass bitch has been dealt with now. And I don’t know, he seemed pretty angry when he came by, but sad too,” she squeezed your shoulder, “I think he misses you.”

Your heart ached at her words. You missed him too, how could you not? But that didn’t mean you were ready to confront the feelings that had been looming over you.

You slowly made your way from your bathroom into the living room. You turned on the light and held your breath. A few seconds later, you heard a light knock at your door. You took a deep breath before unlocking it. Your boyfriend stood there in a disheveled state. His hair was slightly mused and his eyebrows were furrowed in concern, eyes wide as he took you in.

"We need to talk," he said instantly, brushing past you as he walked in uninvited. You blinked at him and closed the door. He made his way into your room and sat on your bed like he's done hundreds of times, but this time was different. You could feel it.

You sat down beside him and stared at your feet. Moonlight poured in from your window, shining down on the two of you like a spotlight. Taking center stage was you, anxious out of your mind for what was to come, and Sukuna, who was silent despite coming all this way just to talk.

By the time he cleared his throat, you had convinced yourself it was over. Everything felt wrong: the awkward silence between you too and how far away he was from you. Sukuna always wanted to touch you somehow, by hugging you, holding your hand, and so on. Despite your nervousness surrounding it all, you didn't dare look up. You weren't sure if you could stomach the look that was probably crossing his face. A stricken expression, you were sure, that said everything that was on his mind without him even uttering a word.

"Whatever is going on, please just say it," he sighed and shifted on the bed. "I can't keep continuing like this." The soft creaking snapped you out of it and you snuck a glance at him. He was staring right back at you and your heart broke right there and then. Sukuna, your ever so arrogant boyfriend, looked so meek sitting there on your bed. He loved being in control, and he was anything but right now. The uncertainty that surrounded your relationship had seemingly crushed his ego and confidence. "I’ve been up all night, trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong, but I can't. Help me understand," he swallowed hard, "Like you always do."

Your stomach lurched at his words. You felt sick. Help me understand, like you always do. Did he really have to make this harder than it needed to be? Reminding you of tutoring sessions that brought you together, and ultimately, here. Your eyes flew to the door like you were planning to get up and run if need be. Of course you were being ridiculous, but it felt like your dinner was what was to leave your mouth instead of an answer. You pressed your lips in a firm line and sighed.

"I've just been thinking a lot about things...How you and I differ and it's affected the way I view us." That was the best way you could put it. You didn't know how to put your newfound insecurity into words. It crept up on you before you saw it for what it really was.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him shake his head and scoff. "Yeah, we're pretty different, that was obvious when we first met. But we've always made it work, haven't we? What in the world could have possibly changed since then?" he asked, his tone strained. He was once again, using every ounce of patience left in his body, on you. Why? He never gave anyone the same grace. If you were anyone else, he'd sure have dismissed them out by now. Written them off without a second thought. The special treatment made you feel sick. You weren't some charity case…you hated the fact that it was what made you stand out from everyone else in his life. You finally pinpointed it: over time, it felt like the entire relationship was built on pity for you.

“Maybe we should break up, I don't wanna feel this way, It's not enough to stay with you in the dark”

"Maybe we've been wasting our time here," you heard yourself say, "Maybe it's all just a lost cause." You don't remember rehearsing that line over and over in your head like you typically did. It seems like you were on autopilot with the goal of ending the conversation as soon as possible. Even if you were too scared to be anything other than subtle.

The silence after your insinuation was gruesome. You fought the urge to sneak another look at him because you knew you would fold. Dealing with those thoughts every day was absolute torture. You felt stupid in your own skin. It wasn't enough to stay with him and suffer silently, nor was it worth sacrificing your sanity over.

"Alright, if that's how you feel then,” he finally said. You heard shuffling as he got up to go to the door. He paused, and you felt his eyes on you. Of course he just had to shoot you one last glance before leaving entirely.

“Maybe I'm the one to blame”

When you heard the front door slam shut, the ache in your chest was almost instant. The reality of what you'd just done crashed down on you. Were you really walking away over that? Like he said, the two of you always made it work. Well, not as of late but—

And him. He didn't even fight for you. If the roles were reversed, you'd have insisted on actually discussing things and having a productive conversation about each other's feelings. Four, maybe five sentences were exchanged between you two, all of it anything but productive. What did you just do?

Those five words rang in your head as you fumbled for your phone. He couldn't have gotten too far. Maybe if you just called him, he'd hear you out. You found your phone around where he was sitting and froze. You didn't see him go on it...but then again, you barely looked at him for longer than two seconds.

You opened it and immediately found his contact, or, his number. The contact was deleted and his number was blocked. The asshole did the rest of the hard work for you. You were speechless. Had he secretly wanted things to end too? Did he see the opportunity and ran with it, letting you do all the hard work? Whatever it was, you were stunned. You didn't unblock his number. You didn't call him and beg for him to turn around. Instead, you spent that night drowning in your own tears, reminiscing all the good times before it all went wrong.

At first, you didn’t cry. You were too numb to. That shocked you to your core. Wasn’t that the normal reaction to such a loss? After that night, you were back on autopilot: getting your school work done, tutoring other peers, going to interviews and so on. Life moves on, you reminded yourself, even when it feels like it shouldn’t.

If you said you didn’t miss him, you’d be lying. Texting and calling him was a part of your everyday routine. The day felt empty without it. You tried finding other things to distract yourself: mediating, starting a new show, listening to music. Each time, your mind somehow drifted to him and that night. You were trying to ignore it, but you couldn’t. Somehow, you found him in aspects of your everyday life: The toothpaste you used in the morning, how he teased you one day and said that he was shocked your toothpaste wasn’t also a vibrant pink. Anytime you saw someone do something stupid on the road, you were instantly reminded of Sukuna and his horrific road rage. Visiting that one corner at Pam’s shop made your heart break. The bowls and mugs you made on your second date? Stored in the very back of the kitchen cabinet. The playlist you played that first date was now deleted. Your pink bonnet? You swapped it out for a black one. It was the little things that made him cross your mind, and you hated it. No matter how hard you tried, he was inescapable.

When the day of your following session came, you weren’t sure if it was worth showing up. You doubted he would. But unlike him, you were obligated to. So you sucked up your pride and made your way to the library. You sat down at your usual spot and waited. Then waited some more. Your eyes flickered back and forth from the clock on the wall to the time on your phone as if you were convinced your mind was playing tricks on you. He actually flaked, as if it was your grade on the line, not his. It was laughable, and so him. When things proved to no longer serve him, he deemed them a waste of his time and discarded them. Turns out you were one of those things.

With fifteen minutes left of your now solo session, you packed your things up. You stopped by the front desk to check in with your manager, one of the upperclassmen.

“Hey Lia, do you know if a ‘Ryomen Sukuna’ no longer needs tutoring services?”

She tilted her head at you before her hand flew to her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I forgot to let you know he called at the last minute to pull out.”

You plastered a smile on your face. You were right. Again. And you really wished you weren't.

“I was checking to make sure, thanks!” You waved goodbye and headed out. Even though you were just doing your job, you still felt like an idiot. Why did you show up? What did you expect? He took your phone and blocked himself for you. If that didn’t scream “I want nothing to do with you,” you weren’t sure what did. Still, a fraction of your heart held hope he would have shown.

You had told Rina what happened that night the following morning. She hovered, constantly asking you if you were okay, bought you your favorite snacks and kleenex just in case. You didn’t cry, you haven’t and you had no plans to. She insisted that it was normal and okay to, but put the box back on her dresser anyway. The tears never came, even as finals and winter holiday approached. Rina was now hesitant of bringing up her boyfriend around you, but you encouraged her to.

“I’m happy for you, the stuff going on with me won’t ever stop that,” you reassured her. She was hesitant at first, but over time, she got comfortable with it again. Turns out her boyfriend was going back home with her to meet her parents. You hyped her up and assured her that it was going to go well. You ignored the icky feeling creeping up on you, sadness and a hint of jealousy that that wasn't you and Sukuna like the two of you had originally planned.

Now that you weren’t dating one of the most popular guys at your school, your social life was lack-luster. No parties—though Rina urged you to at least consider going to one—no dates, no football games, no nothing. It was quiet, too quiet. It’s pretty much exactly how it was like before you met Sukuna, but you were no longer the same. He changed you: he encouraged you to speak your mind and be yourself, pushed you to give things a chance and step out of your comfort zone. Emboldened you to believe you could share your time and energy with someone else. You hated change, especially when it had to do with the fundamental parts of what made you who you were. But, the change was only for the better. You were so happy then and you didn’t fully appreciate it then. You wished you had, because here you were.

Visiting home filled you with dread. You had told your parents about him when you first started dating. You remember it like yesterday. They were so excited for you:

“Mom, Dad, guess what?” You had grinned and wiggled your eyebrows at your phone. You loved being corny and cheesy with your parents. They had the romcom meet cute and have been married for over twenty five years. They were the literal definition of couple goals. So you getting your first boyfriend was a huge deal.

“What?” They asked in unison. You giggled at their expressions. They were so invested in what you had to say.

“I may or may not have a boyfriend…” You trailed off and snuck a look at your phone.

Your mom squealed and clapped her hands together. Your dad raised an eyebrow, but you didn’t miss the way his mouth curved into a smile.

“Is it the one you’ve been tutoring?”

“Yes actually,” you asked, surprised. Were you that predictable? And had you talked about him that much? Surely you hadn’t.

“I knew it, we haven't heard the end of him since the two of you met,” your dad chuckled. Oh. You stand corrected.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” you said defensively. You swore you talked about other things too.

“It was,” they said in perfect unison again, and the three of you giggled.

Now, they were concerned with the way you were processing your first major breakup. With your mom being a psychologist, she was pestering you the most. The amount of Facebook videos she forwarded you about processing your emotions was bothersome. It would only get worse when it was actually time to visit.

Finals week was your Super Bowl. Instead of taking it on begrudgingly like you used to, during your first year of college, you gaslit yourself into loving it. You romanticized studying and hyped yourself up for the feeling of being free once you were finally over. Rina, on the other hand, was much different.

“I’m going to rip my hair out.” She said to you the second she shut the front door behind her.

You glanced up from your computer and gave her a sympathetic look. “Hello to you too, and no you got this.”

“No, I really don’t.” She dropped her textbook on the coffee table and a cloud of dust hit your face. You sneezed and waved the air in front of you frantically.

“Oops sorry. As you can tell from the dust, I haven’t touched my textbook in ages. It might be over,” she dragged her hands down her face.

“How have you been surviving this whole time?” You asked her carefully.

“She posts like small parts of the reading on Canvas for a need to know basis. She just told us today that for the final, we need to have a ‘broader understanding of the content to succeed.’ Does she want us to fail?”

“I’m sorry,” you squeezed her arm gently, “You still have time, there’s about a week left. I can try to help. What class is this again?”

“Organic chemistry…”

Yikes. You took orgo chem your first year and it fucked you over so bad. You still made it out with an A, but barely. Rina took one look at the hesitant expression in your face and shook her head, “See, even you know I’m fucked. It’s fine, thank you for the offer though. I know you have your own finals, plus you have to prepare your mentees for theirs.”

That was a fair point. Of course, you were well prepared to help them succeed and you were confident in your own abilities. As long as everything stayed as is, you were fine. With Sukuna dropping out of the tutoring program, your workload was significantly lighter. Your mind wandered to how he was preparing, if he was at all. He’d pinky promised to try, but you weren’t sure if the promise was still valid given the current circumstances.

“Wish me luck,” she sighed dramatically before taking her textbook and making her way to the room. She was smart, you believed in her, though her professor deserved jail time for leading everyone on like that.

You checked your email for the millionth time today. You too were paranoid of professors dropping random stuff on you related to finals without warning. Instead of an email for one of your courses, you had one in regard to tutoring. The subject line read: Addition to Tutoring Agenda

Hello, I hope all is well. I want to apologize in advance for the inconvenience. There's a student that was placed on academic probation this afternoon. It's listed as an emergency, as he's at a high risk for failing the course. His scores soared when the two of you worked together, but after he pulled out, they've since plummeted. I hope this isn't too huge of an ask. You're one of the best tutors in the program, I believe in you. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions! Thank you, Lia Herring Student Leader of STEM Tutoring

You were speechless. There was no way this was your life. You were being forced strongly encouraged to re-admit your ex boyfriend into your tutoring lineup. Cut the fucking cameras. Your life was a joke.

You got up to tell Rina and she was upset for you.

"She can't just dump that on you, that's pure laziness on his fault! You have your own finals and your current mentee's finals to worry about already," She blinked rapidly, "Does she expect you to conduct some sort of miracle and magically make his dumbass pass?"

"I honestly don't know." You liked Lia, she was always sweet to you, and she was the one who told you about Pam's shop. You didn't want to lose your spot as one of the best in the program. Him being mandated to return to tutoring most likely meant that he was on severe academic probation. Which meant he was at risk of being kicked out. You wished a lot of things on Ryomen Sukuna, but you didn't want him to get kicked out of college. He wasn't dumb either, he just didn't care when it mattered.

"If it's too much for you to handle, don't be afraid to say no, " she said firmly. "And don't do it if you feel like you owe him. You don't owe that asshole shit, remember that."

You nodded, but the two of you knew you were going to accept it. Even if it wasn't him, you would have. That's just who you were. You exhaled slowly. Now it was time to face him, just a few weeks after it all went down. Were you ready? Absolutely not, but like you keep reminding yourself: Life goes on.

SUKUNA'S POV

"Did you know that the longer you stare at her Instagram page, the more likely it is she’ll post?" Geto said sarcastically.

Sukuna ignored him and refreshed it once more. Nothing. He knew you didn’t post on social media like that, but this was the only way for him to keep up with you from afar. He called out of tutoring with you and blocked his number on your phone. He knew you didn’t want anything to do with him, but that didn't automatically mean the feeling was mutual.

“This is kinda pathetic,” Gojo called over his shoulder. Thing 1 and Thing 2 were busying themselves with Mario Kart. They offered the controller to Sukuna numerous times, but he didn’t feel like getting up.

Sukuna wasn’t good at showing his affection through words. He never claimed to be. Showing it was always easier for him. He’d always believed they expressed more than any words could ever convey. So he gave it his all, gave you his all. Somehow, that wasn’t enough for you, and it killed him. Yozoru was right, the one time it mattered, really, truly giving himself to someone else, it didn’t count. He even tried words: showing up to your dorm in the middle of the night, urging you to say something, anything before he wrote you off for good. And you didn’t. So now he was here, instead of with you where he belonged.

“Dude, what the hell?” Gojo yelped. To no one’s surprise, he had just lost, again.

“Not my fault you’re awful at the game,” Geto rolled his eyes. He turned back and looked at Sukuna. “Are you done with your whining? I want an actual challenge. Gojo sucks ass.”

“I’ve literally been silent this entire time,” Sukuna countered.

These two have never been in love before, so they had the privilege of nagging him about moving on so quickly. To them, having someone was solely a benefit for them. Sex, status, you name it. Sukuna used to be like that too. He detached from relationships so easily that he would forget girl’s names at times. You changed him for the better. You humbled him so badly he had to sit with himself and realize he needed to improve. To be better for you.

He wanted to be the one to give you the world. He couldn’t do that with the way he’d been moving previously. The full one eighty he did for you didn’t go unnoticed either. Everyone around him pointed it out. It wasn’t until they met you that they understood. You had a big heart and you were genuine. You cared for Sukuna in a way no else had. They teased him and called him whipped, but when he asked them, “She’s great, who wouldn’t be?” they’d all murmured in agreement. You were beautiful, smart, and funny. He missed you so badly it physically hurt.

Blocking himself from your phone that night? A petty move for sure, but it would stop him from reaching out and folding. You had Sukuna in the palm of your hand and you didn’t even know it. If you called him up at a time like now, he’d be up and out the door to see you. He melted like putty at your touch. He knew how special it was for you. To you, anything physical was sacred. It was about sharing an actual connection with the person you loved. Sukuna cherished it. He missed you playing with his hair when you cuddled. Missed wrapping his arm around you when it started to grow colder. Missed peppering kisses down your neck and watching you squirm. Missed your warm hugs. Life felt so empty without you. He can’t believe he went so long without knowing what it was like to have loved you.

He pried his eyes away from the TV screen when he heard his phone ding. A notification, from mail? When did he turn those on?

Subject: Academic Probation Notice Dear RYOMEN SUKUNA, Your current academic performance indicates that you are at risk of failing INTRO TO STATISTICS. Due to your current standing, you are required to resume tutoring sessions effective immediately. Continued tutoring attendance is mandatory through the remainder of the semester. Please take immediate action to improve your academic standing. Failure to meet these requirements may result in further academic consequences. This is an automated message. Please do not reply.

He tossed his phone to the side and groaned. Gojo and Geto looked up from the came and frowned at him.

"Don't spoil it for me," Gojo said mockingly, "She didn't post?"

"Shut up," Sukuna snarled. Geto tilted his head at the pink haired man. "Wait what happened?"

Sukuna rubbed his neck and muttered something under his breath.

"I can't really hear you from over here, you gotta speak up man."

With a vexed exhale, Sukuna dropped the bomb. "I'm on academic probation, so I have to go back to tutoring." He dragged his hands down his face and look up and saw the horror on their faces.

"With her."

You were currently hiding in your car with no plans of leaving anytime soon, even though the scheduled time to tutor your returning student was soon. No matter how hard you tried to pretend, you knew it was going to hurt seeing him. You'd avoided going to places he was bound to be, so you hadn't seen him since that night. Your mom insisted that the first time was always hard and that it was normal. She advised you to take it easy and not to stress over it, and the best way to handle it is to just let it happen. You begged to differ. You were going to show him exactly how you felt about him.

When he walked up to the usual table, he took the seat across from you instead of beside you as usual. You almost laughed at his arrogance. Like it or not, the both of you were here because of his incompetence.

"I know this isn't the ideal situation for either of us, but I really need to pass."

You pressed your mouth in a thin line and nodded.

“So um, where should we start?” He asked awkwardly.

“I have no idea. It seems like all my efforts from those weeks helping you were thrown out the window,” you said flatly. “These test scores are awful. It might take a miracle for you to pass,” you echoed Rina from earlier. The two of you were screwed, royally.

“I got kind of distracted,” He shrugged. His nonchalance was bound to get on your nerves. Once again, his grade is on the line, not yours.

“Snap out of it then.” You let out a sigh of disgust and opened your previous notes. Looking back now, it was obvious how hard you were crushing. The pages were filled with notes with little doodles on the side. Some attempts to draw him, some hearts, some things you wanted to say but couldn’t find the courage to. Your parents were right. You were smitten. Key word "were."

“I’m trying,” he shot back.

You snorted. “It doesn’t seem like it.”

He fell silent and glared at his textbook in front of him. You wondered if that if he stared hard enough, would it burst into flames?

“I’m sorry if my efforts aren’t enough for you. I’ll try harder,” he hissed. You paused. Has the King of Kindness graced you with a double meaning? You sure hoped not. He was not ready to get into it with you, right here right now.

“Wonderful,” you said sarcastically. “Now tell me, how would you approach this problem?” You reached across the table and tapped your pencil at the problem he had open.

“Obviously I don't know or else I wouldn’t be here?” He replied, attempting and failing at keeping his tone level. His frustration was evident, but you didn’t care. Yours was too. In fact, you’d argue that you had more of a right to be considering how much of a major inconvenience he was being.

“Just try it,” you waved your hand dismissively, “Be sure to block any distractions and really focus your attention on what matters most,” you said coldly. His eyes met yours and it felt like time slowed. You held his gaze and you narrowed your eyes at him. Good, it seemed like the message was received. If he really wanted to do this, you were now ready to.

After a beat of silence, he swallowed hard. “Okay,” he muttered.

You watched for a couple of minutes as he struggled. He used things you’d gone over together, but it could only do so much to help his level of understanding.

After repeating the problem over and over, erasing his work and rewriting so much his hand hurt, he met your eyes once more. “I need help.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. “I could have told you that fifteen minutes ago.”

“That’s fair,” he said carefully, “I just wanted to make good on my promise.” He held your gaze and that’s when tears started to prickle in your eyes. You quickly looked away and busied yourself with organizing your already neat notes. You wanted the floor to open and swallow you whole. This could not be happening to you right now. Crying in front of him over of a stupid pinky promise made ages ago was pathetic at best. And yet, here you were.

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath. “To start off, you shouldn’t be doing this,” you tapped your pencil at his paper, “That just threw you off entirely.”

He erased all of his work and looked up at you eagerly. “How do I do it then?”

“When we have problems like this, we always make sure to…”

After the session, you took the long way to your car. You survived. Sure you were this close to screaming at him and bawling your eyes at simultaneously, but all in all, you survived.

Rina was waiting for you in the living room to hear how it went.

“Well?” She asked, voice full of hope. She supported you when you told her you’d still help him. You knew she definitely would have refused to, but you were appreciative of her.

“I was really rude, which is so unlike me,” you replied and put your bag down on the couch, “l almost cried too? It was him bringing up this promise we made at the very start that brought up memories and I don’t know I—” You tripped over your words as you tried to rationalize it all. “I thought I was okay, but I’m not. I’m angry and sad and I miss him, but also hate him?” You plopped down on the couch beside her.

“That’s completely fine. Feel how you feel, but don’t suppress it,” she gave you a side hug and you rested your head on her shoulder.

“I can’t believe I have to do that until his final next week.”

“You don’t have to,” she reminded you, “You’re doing him a favor you know.”

“I know,” you sighed, “but I guess I decided it was time to make good on my promise too.”

After coming to terms with how you felt, you decided you didn't have it in you to pretend to be nice to him. Each and every session, you were aloof, and in return, he was extremely patient. You watched him grit his teeth, mutter under his breath, and clench his jaw each time you dismissed him. And yet, he held his tongue. You guessed that even though he left, his pity for you still hadn't.

He didn't even tell you how his final went. You got an email informing you about his results: he passed the class with a B minus, just like you had originally hoped. Against your better judgement, you were so proud of him and considered congratulating him. But he didn't tell you the news himself, so that ultimately stopped you from reaching out.

Rina applauded you for a job well done. "You might be a wizard, holy shit. You passed your finals with flying colors, of course—"

"Of course," you echoed with a grin.

"—And also helped the other people you tutored succeed too. Not to mention you coming in clutch to save your evil ex boyfriend from expulsion. You're literally an angel sent from heaven." She clasped her hands together as if to pray. "Please thou' angel, I need fifty bands by Friday."

You giggled and shook your head. "You're ridiculous."

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Just taking advantage of rooming with the best."

"My services are limited to academics only."

Her eyes lit up. "Can you make my orgo chem professor mysteriously disappear?"

"Er...that sounds like a crime."

"So what? You'd totally mog everyone in prison with your mugshot," she exclaimed.

The two of you laughed at how silly she was being before turning back to packing. You'd won the championship, and now it was time to reap the benefits. You were excited to go back home and see everyone and Rina was excited for her parents to finally meet the guy she was absolutely smitten with. Winter holiday meant new beginnings too. The New Year was quickly approaching. You wanted to be able to say you were entering the New Year with high hopes, and expectations. That meant leaving any bad feelings in the past. Even though you were surrounded by so many blessings, your heart still called for the one thing it shouldn't.

Your parents picked you up from the airport and pulled you into a warm hug. You hadn’t realized how homesick you were until you were finally in their arms. Your heart swelled as they beamed at you.

“How’s my angel?” Your dad asked, squeezing your cheeks.

“Hey…” You swatted his hand away playfully and he laughed. “Don’t do that, we’re in public,” you whisper shouted. “I’m good I just missed you, how are you guys?”

They caught you up on everything you missed. Some petty beef going on between the neighbors on either side of them. Your dad’s thoughts on real Christmas trees. The two of them were considering getting a puppy. “Considering,” your mom emphasized, and side eyed your dad. It was all mundane really, but it was nice to talk to them face to face.

The feeling of being in your childhood room was so overwhelming. A rush of nostalgia hit you as you walked around and reminisced. Your mom was the biggest neat freak ever, so she made sure to clean it periodically and make it look nice for your visit. The holidays always made you remember your childhood and how excited you were for Santa. When you got older, and you found out the truth about the man in the North Pole, you just asked for more of your nerdy interests. You couldn’t bring most of your things with you to college, so you loved coming back home to them during break.

Your phone buzzed on the counter beside you. You glanced up and unlocked it to see a few texts from Rina.

rina: how was your flight?

you: it was alright, there was a crying baby though you: didn't get a wink of sleep

rina: dang, i’m sorry

You bit your lip and sighed. You wanted to ask her about how her trip with her boyfriend was going, but it made you think of him. What was he up to? He didn’t really talk much about family. You wondered if he even went back home to visit during breaks like this. Back then, you brought visiting home with you since you wanted him to meet your parents. There was so much you got to know about him, yet so little in the grand scheme of things. What was he up to now, you wondered. And another thought crept in: Had he already moved on, just in time for the holidays?

SUKUNA'S POV

Sukuna hated being the bigger person. He found it pointless, letting the other person basically get away with doing whatever they wanted and taking it like a bitch. Each time you snapped at him, he froze and reminded himself you were hurt, and reasonably so. All things surrounding the breakup were hazy and there were definitely left over feelings. Hard ones at that.

"These test scores are awful. It might take a miracle for you to pass,”

“Snap out of it then.”

“I’m trying."

“It doesn’t seem like it.” "Be sure to block any distractions and really focus your attention on what matters most."

Those last two hurt a lot. He knew what you were implying. He tried his hardest to communicate with you. And he wasn't proud of blocking you that night, at all. Did you hate him for it? Did you hate him in general? It sure seemed like it. Whatever it was, you were probably on your way home to see family, even though he was originally supposed to come along. Now, he was crashing at his knucklehead of a friend's apartment until winter holiday was over. They were playing Mario Kart again and he was stalking your Instagram once again. It hadn't changed since before the breakup, but he still stared. He rolled his eyes each time Gojo and Geto yelled at each other during the game. Was this really how it was going to be?

Before he could stop himself, he left Instagram and opened his messages.

sukuna: rina, can you do me a favor

The three dots popped up almost instantly.

rina: no, and you shouldn’t be contacting me. you know better

sukuna: please. i want to see her, just one last time. then i’ll never bother her ever again. i swear

rina: she’s out of town visiting family

sukuna: i know

The three dots stayed there for a while. Then, finally:

rina: what are you implying?

sukuna: you know damn well what i’m implying sukuna: i know she’s the smarter one but c'mon sukuna: oops. i mean dang well.

rina: okay, woah. humble yourself. drop the attitude if you want my help

It was his turn to take a bit to reply.

sukuna: got it

rina: if this blows up, it is all your fault, not mine. rina: i’m only doing this because she’s in denial, not because you deserve it

Denial? What did that mean?

sukuna: i appreciate it, thanks

Rina forwarded the details of your itinerary. She instructed him to only reach out when you weren’t around your parents. He looked bad enough, he didn’t want to add stalker to the long list of names he was probably already being called. Sukuna complied, grateful for the advice. He knew he definitely didn’t deserve it. Nonetheless, it was time to catch a flight.

He got up and started to pack his things. Gojo and Geto watched him suspiciously from the couch.

“Am I that trash at the game that you’re packing up to leave?”

“No, but you’re that dumb,” Sukuna shot back.

Geto laughed at Gojo’s shocked expression and shook his head. “He’s right. How many classes did you end up passing this semester again?”

“That doesn’t matter.” Gojo turned back to the game, but Geto wasn’t done with him yet.

“It should if you don’t want to take summer classes. Ryomen, how many did you pass?”

“All.”

“Even the stats class? Weren’t you skippi—oh. The girl.” He gave Sukuna a knowing look. “Take notes,” he said and swatted Gojo.

“That would require studying, and I’m good. Where are you going anyway Ry?” Gojo questioned.

“None of your business,” Sukuna replied simply. He wasn’t in the mood to be talked down by these two. He was on a mission.

“Ryomen,” Geto paused and frowned at him, “Don’t tell me you’re…”

“He’s going to the girl? Isn’t she visiting home?” Gojo finally caught on. He chuckled at his friend and leaned back on the couch. “Wow, I never thought I’d see the day. Ryomen Sukuna is chasing a girl halfway across the country. Miracles really do happen.”

Sukuna let out an exasperated sigh. “While I’m gone, do me a favor Gojo and get your head out of your ass. You’re starting to get on my nerves,” he paused and glanced at the screen, “And get better at Mario Kart before Geto flings the controller at your head.”

Gojo grinned at him. “Roger that.”

Sukuna rolled his eyes at his corny reply. “And Geto, call me if you need anything.”

“Got it,” Geto replied. Sukuna made his way to the door with his suitcase in hand and reached for the doorknob before Geto continued: “And good luck man.”

Sukuna lowered his hand and nodded. “Thanks.”

“This is some shit straight out of a romcom I'm not gonna lie, but you got this. You really like her to the point it’s kinda gross, so I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Gojo called from the couch.

Sukuna chuckled. “This is no romcom, this is real life. If she doesn’t want to see me then,” he shrugged, “At least I can say I tried.”

“Isn’t flying across the country to beg for her back more than trying?” Geto wondered out loud.

“I’m not begging,” Sukuna frowned.

Gojo and Geto gave him a look.

“Okay, whatever the technicalities are, it was worth the risk. It always has been.” And with that Sukuna stepped out and slammed the door behind him. He was ready to bite the bullet and stop mopping around. The fear of you rejecting him never left the back of his mind, but he still had meant what he said. You were a risk worth taking, and he’d make that same bet again, and again, and again.

p.s. reblogs / likes / comments are appreciated :') follow for the final part / ending !

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