doll-faced hooligan

i used to drink gasoline in the morning.

[dolligan]

𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 !

hey guys, i’m lunie. i’m twenty-seven and most of my blogs are low to medium activity with random bursts of high posting. i go by est, and am a full time college student. if i’m not here i’m at @medteq, @notalt + @neoracle. the current blog you are on is one for my mox oc, candy sinclair who is an enforcer and solo.

all in one page. meme tag. pinterest.

ilu, pls drink some water.

[dolligan]

@sakharine.

[dolligan]

@sakharine.

[dolligan]

💀   :   /  /  savurai​.

❛     no  freaking  way..     ❜      her jaw drops,   mouth open like a  fish.      ❛     oh  my  god..   you  have  to show me,   i’ll give you my first born or  some shit.    i’m for-real serious,   i’ll  pay  for that content.    her hands are like,   lethal  fucking  weapons!    what pendejo thought to pick a fight with her..   please  say it was arasaka!     ❜

❛  alright,  c’mon  back  with  me.  i  got  it  hooked  up  to  one  of  judy’s  old  monitors,  ❜  the mox smirks in the way she always does when she’s full of bad ideas. she glances back to v with a tilt of her head.

❛  i’m   assumin’   it  was  arasaka  based  off  the  color  patterns  but  couldn’t  been  kang  tao.  i  ain’t  really  a  corpo  aficionado  though.  ❜

[dolligan]

@wissenfurth.

[lustyargonianmaid]

nightcity bangerz | playlist here.

[dearsuggestions]

concept: we’re out with friends, and we can’t stop touching. your hand on my back as your sip your drink. my head on your shoulder as i laugh at a joke. our thighs touch, our hands are tangled together, our shoulders press into one another—it’s unclear where i end and you begin, and that’s how i like it.

[dolligan]

i’m working on lizzy’s blog so activity here maybe slow(er) than usual.

[dolligan]

💀  :  /  /  errorware​. 

he takes a moment. lost is an interesting description. 

he’s not lost, in that he knows where he is, but getting there is a blank space. ❝ i – i’m good, yeah. sorry. were we – ❞ talking? he’s lost the thread somewhere.

he’s  been  standing  at  the  edge  here  for  a  few  minutes. rita didn’t want to approach him and candy couldn’t blame her. there was something off about him, the kind that gave her pause.

❛  y’been  standin’  here  for  a  little  bit  now,  ya  good?  ❜

[dolligan]

idk how but i got the url wissenfurth and uh... lizzy might be coming.

[holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe]

I exist only as a compulsion,

The Curious Room: Collected Dramatic Works; ‘Vampirella’  by Angela Carter (via decreation)

[musicstomyears]

Visit Original Link

[uber-music]

Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?

Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

[dolligan]

me, with too many blogs: can i juggle more?

[dolligan]

💀  :  /  /  reliqucry​.

   “ don’t . don’t judge . ” laughter for a brief moment , arms cross over chest . “ it was a bad moment in my life . my fashion taste got better , i just didn’t realize i still owned it . ”

       //:   starter call   INIT_MEMORY_MAPPING   @dolligan​

  ❛  oh,  sugar  ——  i  ain’t  judgin’.   ❜  candy remarks with a faint smirk as she looks over the dress. it’s gaudy, even by neo-kitsch standards, but it’s cute. her gaze lands on v once more, a questioning glance.

  ❛  y’should  wear  it,  don’t  gotta  wear  it  out  but  we  could  have  a  night  in,  make  it  real  cute.  ❜

[dolligan]

💀  :  /  /  afraidofchange​, nikita.

   The flow of a few drinks always takes the edge off. Lizzie’s Bar is far more for pleasure rather than business, though she does have a few clients here, but that’s not why she’s here tonight, a Saturday in Night City after a long haul of work the night prior. It’s been a little hard to tell what line, exactly, that Candy’s been toeing and after the third shot, well, the words just slip past red-painted lips without really thinking about it. 

 “No, no, it’s…just wondered,” Between the bass pounding and the sudden warmth flushing her cheeks (it’s the vodka, she swears), she pauses, collects herself, hand through thick hair to push it out of her face. “Not that you should stop,” Here, her smile returns - Candy’s been a kind of strange bedfellow, in the sense of companionship the last little while, one Nikita’s found herself looking forward to every time she comes around this side of the city. “You want a drink?”

lizzie’s  bar  is  an  oasis  in  a  desert  filled  with  tyger  claws.      it’s one of the few safe havens in night city where even the corpos can wander freely. in truth, candy liked the idea of people just throwing their classifications away, even if it was for a night. it would never last, it couldn’t last. the system wasn’t built to sustain it.  still, the solo will embrace it as she can, as chaos allows her to. 

nikita’s  different  in  every  way,  a far cry from the usual gonks she flirts with. she’s deadly and calm. a dangerous combination that pulls candy’s attention like a moth to neon.  ❛  mmm,  yeah.  subtlety  ain’t  really  my  thing.  ❜  bold, brash, borderline annoying? yeah, that was the way she got attention. sure it was a mask, but it helped her garner the attention she wanted. her head tilts just slightly as nikita continues; a mischievous glint in heart shaped eyes.  ❛  careful  nikita,  i  may  never  leave  if  ya  keep  encouragin’  me.  ❜  she remarks, her eyes glancing the arms dealer over rather shamelessly.  ❛  yeah,  i’d  love  one  —  pick  for  me. ❜

[dolligan]

💀  :  /  /  svmvrai​.

as humans, we cannot escape the terror of loss.    loss comes in many forms:  loss of perception, loss of emotion, loss of our loved ones, but the worst out of all of them was the loss of one’s self. the complete and utter lack of the soul that made you, well, you. at first glance, it’s a very scary concept very few people decide to even think about, yet v had to grapple with it every day of his life. with his back against the wall, running against a clock that seemed to go faster with each tick. and the more he moved, the more he walked back, instead of forward. it was scary, but it was an inevitability. something he needed to come to terms with, if they, one day, wanted to overcome it. he wasn’t going to give up any time soon, but the looming, impending feeling of doom hanging over his head like a hangman’s axe definitely didn’t make things any easier. not to mention the devil sitting on his shoulder, but that wasn’t something he was willing to go into, not now, not while thinking about her. not as they’re this close, their hearts beating almost in unison. it’d be a shame.

and he doesn’t want to waste any time. when he looks at her, he doesn’t see what everyone else does. any dumbass could look at her and see a mox, but titles, at the end of the day, were only that. words that mattered little to nothing. he saw candy sinclair. a woman with needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. he saw a woman who managed to turn her weaknesses into her own strengths, and cloak herself in an armor that was nearly impenetrable. a woman who could melt the right side of a glacier and still have it in her to move on to the left. a woman whose smile was so bright it could’ve blinded him. hell, he could keep going, but for the sake of everyone involved, he didn’t. she was looking right at him, and it takes him a while to notice it. but when she looks back at him, her eyes aren’t hidden. no more hearts, no more façades to put on. baring herself to him, she looked as vulnerable as anyone else. it makes his heart skip a beat.

❝ i know you ain’t. ’m just tellin’ you things how they are. ❞

it’s just a lot.  the laughter that spills from his lips is that of a man who knows what’s about to come, but little did v know that he was about to be sorely mistaken. he sees her shake, tremble, twitch under the pressure of an invisible burden on her shoulders. the grip on her hand tightens, as if she was about to be swept away by something else. something that was going to take her away from him. something inside him breaks at the thought of her disappearing, of losing her forever.  please don’t tell me you’re leaving, it’s a thought that hammers at his brain like a headache,  if you want to leave, don’t tell me.

when she says those words, they don’t understand them at first. prepared and willing to face utter rejection, hearing the total opposite leaves v feeling completely out of place. she loves him. she always has. his heart leaps in his chest like a thing in pain, and the hand wrapped around hers is pulled away. she was shaking even more than before, she…  she meant that, didn’t she? when he moves away, he wastes no time in joining her side of the booth, wrapping both of his arms around her, to offer as much comfort as he can, while at the same time trying to overwhelm his brain. to try and stop the tears from falling and ruining everything. hands move to tangle in bleached blonde locks, swiping them back from her face. it takes him a brief moment.   ❝ i love you too. i do, i—  i never thought you’d feel the same way. ❞   her words hit him like a ton of bricks.   ❝ i’m terrified too. of losin’ you. i never wanna leave your side, i don't— ❞   v holds back that feeling that made the corners of his eyes burn.   ❝ don’t want t'lose you, ever. ❞   it’s a relief, hearing that coming from her. but god, was it fucking scary. can you love someone so much it hurts? 

trepidation  is  not  something  that  comes  natural  for  candice  sinclair,     it feels foreign and wholly uncomfortable. when it came tourists that vacationed in her embrace, it was hard to lose them sure, but there was a quiet knowing, a silent understanding of lack of permanency. it would bother her for a week, maybe two, and she’d wonder if they were alright, but eventually a new face would come and distract her and the cycle continued. she was never devastated by the inevitability of losing them, but v? oh this was someone that if the mere notion of him just going missing had been spoken to her, she would have been worried, scared. inconsolable. it was one of the only truths ever to genuinely terrify her.  this  fear  is  lit  anew  as  his  hand  leaves  her’s,  and the fear of losing him is too real for her. it hurts in a way she can’t express completely, that she won’t express completely. the idea of losing him is a crushing reality and ——  she had prepared herself for what she thought was inevitable, only to learn shs was wrong. the woman doesn’t have time to react when he pulls her into a tight embrace, her own tattooed arms wrapping around him. he holds her as if she’ll disappear if he let’s go, and it occurs to candy that this is the first time she’s felt important to someone in this way. her breath hitches as he speaks, because he’s actually saying it. she’s not hallucinating it. this  isn’t  some  vivid  dream  or  braindance, it’s real and his words hit harder than any bullet that has ever hit her skin. the words break apart, shrapnel embedding into her skin, breaking carefully constructed defenses.   ❛  y’not  gonna  lose  me,  v.  ❜  the blonde retorts, knowing full well she can’t control that. night city ends stories all the time, but she has a particular person she’s fighting for. someone that isn’t the moxes, to whom she is another tool. his eyes are glassy, and her hand cups his cheek gently, thumb gently brushing just beneath the scar. she kisses him, the first time she’s done so sober. his lips tastes like coffee and loneliness, but so does her’s. seven years of looking at someone from across tables and rooms, yearning but not acting, will do that to you. she breaks the kiss for a moment to look at him, really look at him. ❛  i  promise,  v.  never.  ❜

[trashmemes]

RICHARD SIKEN SENTENCE STARTERS   —   majority of quotes pulled the poetry book crush. feel free to make alternations.

if you love me, you don’t love me in a way i understand.

there are so many things i’m not allowed to tell you.

you say ‘i’ll give you anything,’ but you never come through.

please, for just one night, will you lie down next to me?

you wanted happiness. i can’t blame you for that.

i owe you, i owe you everything.

tell me you love this, tell me you’re not miserable.

you didn’t show up. i kept waiting.

why take more than we need? because we can.

i want to explain myself to myself in an understandable way.

people like to think war means something.

you are here, you are here, you’re still right here.

sorry about how i ruined everything by saying it out loud.

will you defend yourself?

let’s not talk about it, let’s just not talk.

how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?

i ran and i knew you wouldn’t catch me.

when you have nothing to say, set something on fire.

you still get to be the hero.

tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.

i’m bleeding, i’m not just making conversation.

eventually something you love is going to be taken away. 

you want a better story. who wouldn’t?

i hope it’s love. i’m trying really hard to make it love.

we are not dirty.

i will come back from the dead for you.

you are a fever i’m learning to live with.

do you want to go home now?

there’s nowhere to go.

i’d rather quit. i’d rather be sad.

unfortunately, we don’t have that kind of time.

you take the things you love and tear them apart.

there is no way to make this story interesting.

i don’t think i can take this much longer.

do you love yourself? 

sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.

even when i look away i am still looking.

i think i need to do this alone.

what more do you want?

you saved my life.

someone has to leave first.

i swear, i end up feeling empty, like you’ve taken something out of me.

will you love me even more when i’m dead?

your world doesn’t make sense.