“I thought I told you to stop putting your head in canons.”
Synopsis: Just some headcanons floating around in my noggin about the Brainiac
Note: is this one of those situations where your fave/blorbo stays in your head for too long and becomes a totally different being through constant headcanon-ing? Possibly.
TW/CW: Minors do not interact. Gender neutral human reader, suitable for afab and amab readers, established relationships. Mentions of: unrequited love, anxiety, self aggrandizing, insecurities, low self confidence, cowardice, self isolation, jealousy, angst. Also!: fluffy cute stuff, lol
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The situation with Quark was particularly hard on Brainstorms self esteem. Quark did more than simply reject Brainstorms feelings- whenever he finally mustered up the courage to confess. Quark isn't a bad bot, intelligence and empathy more often hand in hand than not, his rejection may have simply come off as curt, and that isn't his fault! But Brainstorm took it to spark, could it have been his first major heartbreak of the romantic variety? Who is to say? Either way, it wasn't so much the lack of reciprocation of Storms feelings that stung, but rather Quark not being particularly fond of his presence to begin with.
Now I don't dislike Quark as a character, so please don't think that. But I do often think about the potential reality of Quark treating Brainstorm rather coldly from the start, and frankly just disliking the jet bot. Maybe it was Storms manner of speaking or their personalities simply didn't mesh; but the idea that Quark was mean to Brainstorm, dismissing his ideas or purposefully putting down his confidence out of irritation, could possibly be one of the reasons this rejection messed Storm up so badly. Did Quark reject him in a harsh way? Did he take the other scientists feelings into account? Was he even offended at the confession itself? I think about it all the time and it breaks my heart, lol
Now I just want to add that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not reciprocating someones feelings, and rejecting them doesn't automatically make you some sort of jerk. This is just an interesting idea I toy around with, nothing more:) but many of the next headcanons will be written with the idea of Quark, at least inadvertently and for lack of a better way to put it, destroying Brainstorms self-confidence with his rejection.
Given his previous rejection, Brainstorm wrongfully internalized much of it as his own fault. Although he'd never admit to it, (until you two got very very close). He was a bit self-inflated before, genuinely proud of his own achievements as he should be, but it bordered on being a bit much at times. Overly grandiose opinions of ones self can be quite grating to those around you. After that though? Everybot around him will tell you his arrogance only got worse.
You're already familiar with his manner of speaking regarding himself I'd assume, so with that in mind; I think Brainstorm masks his insecurities with confidence, ego and arrogance because he's afraid to drive others away. It's backwards but that's how fear works sometimes. If he gets too close to someone and they meet the real him, will they reject him too?
He's unable to wrap his processor around the idea that Quark could've been in the wrong for the way he treated him- refuses to accept it is a more accurate description- as he still respects and admires that old bot so deeply. If he shows someone, you?, that he's not the best bot to walk Cybertron, will they leave? Doesn't matter if it's platonic or romantic, that fear has him in a choke hold. Pushes him to prove himself by taking his scientific understanding and creations to new heights. If he can be the best at something, surely the ones he admires will stick around, want something, anything to do with him. I mean, even if they only want him for his knowledge, his skills, that's something right? Gives him worth? Can handle brushing off the feeling of annoyance in other bots EM fields forever if he has to.
In reality, for all that arrogance, Brainstorm really is a kind bot. Desensitized to violence a bit, yes, but not some evil, self aggrandizing pain in the ass. Not truly. It's a mask, one he struggles to take off after having it on for so long. He cares for his friends deeply enough to notice when something small is off about them. Maybe it's a product of him being so painfully observant and aware of the opinions others have of him. He's really a big sweetie! He comforts Chromedome after the death of Rewind 1, and looks genuinely pained at the idea of his friend removing his memories once again.
I like to think that feeling of not wanting his friend to come to harm is same part of him that can't stomach (fuel tank?) the idea of hurting someone with his own servos. As I said before, he's desensitized to violence after the war, but never took a life. Not face to face anyway. Doesn't enjoy violence as a whole. Would probably purge his systems if he took a life by his own hands, and have to see Rung for quite some time. I don't think Brainstorm is the type to "get over" something like that quickly, if ever. Holds onto each of his feelings for a long time.
This causes Storm to think even less of himself. Doesn't see himself as very brave, and he's surrounded by all these bots who have so many accolades of bravery to boot. How can he ever compare himself to someone like that when he can't even pull the trigger on someone like Megatron? Sure, the previous warmonger was technically a defenseless protobot at the time but, it's Megatron right? Surely anyone could pull the trigger on him? Is he really that incapable? No, he just has a big spark. But that conclusion falls short of his understanding.
All these complex feelings cause Brainstorm to, at times, self-isolate to avoid scrutiny. He feels safe from the judging optics of others when he's alone, in his workshop tinkering. He doesn't do it all the time, aware of his bad habit and trying not to fall too far down that rabbit hole. Again, view his reaction to the Chromedome grieving situation. He knows all too well what could become of him if he allowed himself to get too comfortable. But he can relax a bit easier when others aren't around. Can finally let that mask he's used to protect himself slip, can't he? I don't image it's very easy. He's worn it for so long, how could he so easily take it off?
Brainstorm craves someone in his life that just genuinely loves him and his flaws. I don't think he cares much if it's romantic or platonic, he just needs someone. I think he's very lonely inside, at least until he joins the Lost Light. Percy, Nautica, Chromedome, and a new face- you. People who stick by his side but still call him out when he needs it, people who don't think less of him for being afraid or hurt. People who actually care about and share his interests, fellow mad scientists who listen to his ideas.
Honestly, he's terrified at first. But Storm gets more comfortable with time. After everything with his time machine, his trial. I think he comes to realize that the ones he's surrounded with now are the real deal. Even though she was rip-shit pissed at him, Nautica remained his friend. They talked it out. Even though they have a very one-sided rivalry, Perceptor still values Brainstorms input and praises his ideas. Even when Chromedown was at his absolute lowest, rock bottom, he still listened to Storms concerns for his friend, and didn't remove his memories. Credit where it's due, Storm did bring up how angry Rewind would be, but I think the sentiment still remains.
On to a more lighthearted topic, lol.
As much as I believe he’s a bit of a sexual deviant, I’ve seen people hc Brainstorm as demisexual and I have to agree! I don’t think he’s going to interface with someone he believes won’t be able to care for/love him the way he needs. He’s all over his partner once you two are going steady though! Even has some many fun.. unconventional- things he wants to try. In short, I wholeheartedly believe Storm could be in a happy relationship either void of interface or including it. I'm camp freaky-demi Brainstorm, lol.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this in the past, but I don't believe Brainstorm falls in love quickly as much as he falls hard and just doesn't realize it at first. Once he does, it shocks him. But I don’t think he’d be opposed, just nervous you don’t reciprocate/are only tolerating him and nothing more. Remember what I said about Quark?
That said, I also don’t believe he's one to hide his true feelings. The worst that could happen is you don’t feel the same (or want nothing to do with him) and frankly, he’s faced that once before so. He kinda just, goes for it ? In his own Brainstorm sort of way.
He’s not embarrassed about liking you at all- like AT ALL. Especially once he knows you like him back, but before you two get together, he’s just super open about it. Say he visits the bar and Tailgate thinks it would be funny to tease him for having a crush on you; Storm is just like- "Yeah and? Oh! And have you heard them talk about-!" and then he won't shut up (/affectionate).
Would he vault from his seat to shout it boisterously from atop the bar? No. But would he continue talking about the things he just adores about you in gruesome detail, chatting the audials off anyone (It's Nautica.) who is willing to listen to his rambling? Yes.
Brainstorm is an inventor, an engineer, a scientist! He enjoys building things, especially for you. While resources regarding Earth culture are limited on the Lost Light- and most of the bots collective human knowledge comes from Ratchets word of mouth and Swerves movie collection anyhow- Storm does his best to learn what he can about humans and Earth culture so he can better provide you with gifts to your liking. Or at very least would find useful. Learning about your culture has the added benefit of being able to bond with you and grow closer, so he's certainly pleased with himself each time he surprises you with his knowledge or creations. Cheeky grin pushing his faceplates metal in such a way that almost looks like creases around his optics.
Brainstorm is the type to ask questions, a LOT of questions. Nothing wrong with that though! He just wants to learn everything he can. He also just enjoys your voice and conversation, so expect him to ask loaded questions for the purpose of hearing you talk more. Often times his questions seem to have obvious answers or come out of left field, by human standards anyway. It's actually quiet cute, he's learning our world effectively from the ground up and it's endearing to watch.
Interestingly, I don't think Brainstorm would be considered a human-fucker at first. Before he gets to know you, he has some iffy opinions about organics as a whole. I mean, you squish. That's so alien to him it nearly makes him squirm! He isn't used to looking down so far to talk to someone, he's afraid he'll crush you on accident (and then get chewed out..), and your species is.. so animalistic. It's very strange to him.
Meeting humans, befriending some new people, and subsequently falling helm over peds for little ole you really forces him to confront those beliefs; although it admittedly takes him longer to work through the negative ones he has regarding the Galactic Council. All that to say, he quickly finds he doesn't much mind organics at all, rather he simply despises the Council, so that's nice.
If you ever show signs of jealousy in your relationship, Brainstorm is gonna eat that shit up. Not in a toxic way, (unless that's your thing of course, lol) more of an "oh my Primus they actually care about me and our relationship that much??" Not that isn't obvious already, but it's nice to have a reminder, especially after what he's experienced in the past. That is to say, he's incredibly giddy and probably squealing on the inside (and out, we can hear you buddy.) at the idea that you actually feel that way about him. He's used to other bots not really giving him the time of day unless they need him for something- more like need his processors. Put up with, but not sought out. And here you are, asking Percy or whoever to give you two some alone time just because? You care about him enough to be bothered by someone interrupting his conversation with you? His speech about a new experiment of his? His private time with you? You care enough that someone nearly getting too flirty bothers you? Primus help him he’s gonna cry.
Some level of jealousy is normal, permitted it doesn't get out of hand, and Brainstorm is no stranger to that. As stated before, he struggles with his own insecurities, especially regarding whether or not someone really wants/loves him. As such, seeing someone flirt with you too much can put a real damper on his mood. Not to worry though, he’s happy to march right over and inform them you’re taken, sweeping you away to somewhere private while muttering all about how that other bot has no chance with you and you're too good for them, lol. Please remember to comfort him, he's desperately trying to play it off but hes eating himself alive on the inside. You do still want him, right? A swift kiss to the faceplate and some words of affirmation are enough to get him steady again.
Oh, and this should go without saying but if someone was pushy or made you uncomfortable? It would be wise to talk him out of finding a way to vaporize them or make them the subject of an extensive and bizarre series of unfortunate events as penance. None of which can point back to either of you as the cause of course.
Brainstorm gets really nervous and excited when you're inside his alt mode. Knows you just said you wanted to go for a flight so he can stretch a bit (you're so thoughtful) and you can enjoy the ride- but he just can't help it! How is he supposed to focus when you're in his cockpit and you look like that? Too attractive for your own good and definitely too good him to focus. Needless to say, I think Stormy has several alt mode fantasies, lol. The first time you ever see his alt mode, he's unimaginably flustered under the weight of your praise and awe. And you keep touching him and he's never experienced that like this before. Never let anyone ride in his jet before and he was unaware his internals were this sensitive. Can practically feel the ground beneath his wheels melt as his charge surges and he just thinks about taking you back to his habsuite right now. You can hear the way his vocalizer is full of static and shorts out, hey- you're doing this on purpose!
As much as he's experiencing a type of arousal he never thought possible, he's also all warm and fuzzy inside at the thought of you safe and sound in his pilots seat- a product of selecting a new alt mode for this exact purpose. You trust him enough to be inside his chest, even as a squishy human. He'd never dream of letting you come to harm, even as terrified as he is of conflict. And you actually admire him in both forms? Was expecting you to only praise him in his more "humanoid" root mode but this? Having every part of you loved and appreciated by your partner is truly unmatched.
Brainstorm really enjoys when you listen to his scientific spiels and likes to bounce his ideas off of you before fully committing to them. You're his most trusted advisor! Although he trusts Nautica and Perceptor scientifically and as friends, it's a little different if you two are together:) He values your input much higher, maybe a little too high given your understanding for Cybertronian science, but what's life without a little risk?
He often let’s you name or choose the color palette for his creations and even occasionally names them after you. “It’s called that because it reminds me of you. How is that not obvious?” and then you have to decipher how the ever living fuck an experimental weapon reminds him of you. Good luck with that extrapolation.
Brainstorm feels most comfortable leaving you in the care of Percy and Nautica if he needs to. He trusts them to take care of you in his stead if he absolutely can't stay with you in a moment of need like sickness or battle. If you're at Swerves bar, who knows what another bot might do? If a Con got you? You could be tripped over, or squashed even! He trusts Chromedome too but.. he's liable to become distracted by Rewind and or blow a gasket if someone makes him angry, lol.
After the two of you become close, Brainstorm often seeks out your affection when he's really struggling with insecurities. A good cuddle or hug is a start to making that bot brighten up. Your touch and soothing voice offering him sweet praise and affirmations? Unmatched. Best way to end the night. Well, one of them..
Brainstorm often struggles to articulate how he's feeling. It's difficult for him to open up about something bothering him as he doesn't want to be a burden, and he's still getting used to the fact that you aren't burdened by him. Being a burden is not a bad thing anyhow, and he comes to understand that through your persistence. As soon as you get him comfort though, he's an open book from that point forward. For better or for worse, you'll be able to tell how he's feeling from a mile away.
In a romantic endeavor, Brainstorm has the bad habit of feeling you'd be better off with a human partner. The difference in lifespans alone enough to scare the daylights out of him. But having you in space, somewhere humans definitely cannot survive, makes him question if this is good for you. Knows you care for him and Primus he's in love with you, doesn't want to lose you, but he loves you enough to want what's best for you. If you comfort him and tell him you really do want this, then he will feel much calmer. Give him affection and tell him about how he's the one you want to spend your life with, and you'll be having a much longer night,, Truly, he really appreciates the confirmation.
Brainstorm is an absolute attention hog. He wants to be lavished in it, but also wants to return it. This extends to more private times too, so do with that what you will. You’re just so soft!! He loves how soft you are, honestly sometimes it feels like he’s petting you like a cat but he just really enjoys the squish. Absolutely adores when you touch his faceplate/cheeks or swipe a thumb over his lips. It’s so domestic and sweet. Also, you think he’s attractive??? Consider yourself booked for the rest of the night. I mean, he knows he’s not exactly ugly but it’s different when your partner is literally asking you to make out with them, ya know?
This bot will literally melt if you make something for him. You mean to say you put time and effort and energy into making something for him-and you somehow don't expect him to conjunx you up right then and there? You've lost your mind. He cherishes everything you create, is willing to offer his opinion or advice, test anything out. Literally anything, he’s just happy you feel so comfy around him, and he reciprocates that comfort around you as well. But yeah, that conjunx proposal is being planned as we speak.. .
You're Brainstorms safe place, no longer hiding away in his workshop for days on end without emerging. Call him clingy, and boy is he, but anytime he gets to spend with you is considered the most optimal use of his time. And certainly what brings a smile to his face.
Stormy likes to make you laugh, and especially enjoys when you laugh so hard your throw your head back or smack the table. The kind of laugh you have with your best friend that has you gasping for a breath- although he likes that in other contexts too- anyway. Anything that let's him know you're really, genuinely happy with him makes him so happy. And he's not above doing stupid reckless shit to get a reaction out of you either, or the two of you teaming up to cause mischief aboard the Lost Light. Will blame the chaos on Perecptor if Magnus catches you.
Selfishly, Brainstorm doesn’t want to tell you about his ability to read your emotions through your EM field, because then you may get self conscious/stop expressing them so freely and he won’t get to feel your affection for him as much anymore.. so he keeps quiet about it:p Likes to feel how content you are sleeping near him, or keeping him company in his lab. Enjoys the way you seem to brighten up when you two meet again, or when you listen to his rambles and actually empathize. Maybe he'll tell you one day, but for now, he'd just like to enjoy it for a little longer.
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Note: need nap
Note 2: I'm unsure how to go about formatting pieces like this. On one hand the blocks of text feel quite long for a hc and would look better with clear division, but on the other I don't find it very visually appealing to put bullet points before every single block of text, given that so many are related to the directly adjacent ones. What kind of hc formatting do you prefer? I'd like to change mine up, lol
Bots who spot your open laptop one day and manage to skim over a couple words of your latest writings before they guiltily dart their optics away. Hold on.. are you, using your *ahem* private time with them as a sort of muse for your work? Inspiration?? They knew you wrote some pretty scandalous stuff but this..? this puts a new twist on expanding your bedroom horizons.
You open the door to your room, forgot something on your desk again, and they’re just standing there, gobsmacked. Are you embarrassed? Do you find it funny? How exactly do each of the bots react to such a find?
Personally, I think First Aid also writes fanfic so he’s not surprised in the slightest, is flattered, and even offers to beta read it lol
Bots who find your plushie collection (of them) and get either 1. super cocky gonna go brag to every bot they know about it 2. ultra-mega-supremely flustered, like processor malfunctioning immediately or 3. ridiculously jealous that you’re hoarding little tiny versions of them to squish into yourself whenever they’re not around
breaking into your asks to tell you ily, & that you are so so so SO amazing &! a wonderful friend!! (it’s true because First Aid told me so)💕💕💕💕 YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY MISO BC U DESERVE IT
SUL ILY YOURE SO SWEET IM🥺 Thank you!! Btw Hoist, Spots and I were talking about how amazing and wonderful of a friend you are and they were both swooning the entire time😌 First Aid should probably come get his leader before he starts having Sul withdrawals👀
Note: no beta reading so I’m extra unfunny today (and not as verbose) MY HANDS HURT.
TW/CW: Minors do not interact. Gender neutral human reader, suitable for afab and amab readers, some established relationship hcs and some platonic too:). Small mention of bleeding and infection in First Aids section, needles in Chromedomes section also mentions of him and Rewind bc they’re cute. That’s all folks!
Characters: First Aid, Chromedome, Brainstorm, Rodimus, Perceptor
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Brainstorm
Once Brainstorm falls in love, he’s in for the long haul. I mean, did you see how he was about Quark? And that was one sided! He is someone who is incredibly loyal to his partner, and no one is going to catch his eye other than you.
He may take a little while to realize he’s caught feelings though, even visiting Rung for a professional opinion. I don’t think he’d deny it, but he’d probably be really nervous you’re only being nice or just tolerating him until you show him otherwise.
Brainstorm strikes me as someone who doesn’t care to hide his infatuation with the person he likes/loves. It’s not that he isn’t nervous about it, as stated before, he’s just so helm over heels he can’t help himself. He’s not really the shy type, he’s pretty open about his affections. “Like them? Why wouldn’t I! They’re so smart, have you heard them talk about-“ and then he’s talking Chromedomes audials off.
Using the “who fell first, who fell harder” trope, I’d say he’s probably the fell harder one. I’m not sure if he’s particularly quick to start crushing on someone, regardless of being slow on the uptake, but once he does, ooooh boy. There’s no stopping those feelings now. Short of you like- killing someone or something. Then yeah he’d probably draw the line.. probably?
Chromedome
Now Chromedome? He falls first. He’s a big ole softie, a lover- and I guess a fighter too when necessary. He catches feelings quickly, and it drowns him. To me he’s the type who can’t stop thinking about his partner, not in an obsessive way, but he’d pass by a store front, see something you’d like and immediately buy it as a little ‘thinking of you’ gift. Even before you get together.
At first he’d probably be on the fence about befriending a human simply because he’s never really had friends of different races before, but I don’t think he’s against it either. Once he’s friends with someone, you’re friends for life. Anything you need, he’s there.
Also, the size difference means nothing to him, have you seen Rewind? I actually think he’d be safer to walk around purely because he’s already so used to being around much shorter people. So it’s absentminded on his part at this point, but he’s naturally very careful.
Domey would feel really bad if you ever got scared of his needles:( He’d forget it wasn’t normal for humans to just, have shit like that in their body, coming out of his fingers no less. He’s no stranger to needle phobias and can be really polite and patient about that, but he’d still feel sad if he scared you.
I think he and Rewind would both really like cats. A little orange cat reminds Rewind of Domey, and a little black cat reminds Chromedome of Rewind. If you had a cat/cats? Oh they’re mass shifting and coming over right now. Don’t move, Rewind brought a laser pointer!
Now if you wanna see something really funny? Don’t tell them what zoomies are and just let the chaos unfold on its own..
First Aid
If First Aid started catching feelings for a human, and yes I think he’d do this for just a friend too, he starts learning everything he can about human biology, culture, and other such things in order to get closer to you and better take care of you if necessary.
I do believe he’d start learning about human medicine specifically immediately upon arriving to Earth, that gentle bot just can’t help but want to help as many people as possible. But I believe the knowledge in which he goes out of his way to learn about increases in its diversity after catching feelings.
Once First Aid learns that humans having dry skin can lead to a rather uncomfortable experience- itching, cracking, bleeding, potential infection even- he may attempt to discreetly take note of the current state of your hands. You may find a variety of different lotions, chapsticks, and even a humidifier left in your personal hab pretty soon after. A little note left with the reminder to drink water along with it.
If you examined the scent choices, I think he’d definitely select ones he’d heard you mention liking- oh is that why he asked about what scents you like a week ago?- and maybe a few he’d like on you as well. You’re taken care of and you smell nice? Win-win.
Oh and overworking yourself? Nah. He’s sequestered bots with minor injuries to bed rest before and he’s not above simply picking you up and taking you to his office- to keep a doctors eye on you of course! Totally not because he’s read about the effects of stress on humans and can’t bare the idea of his favorite one suffering for it..
Rodimus
Here’s how many tries it took me to type his fucking name WHICH I DEFINITELY KNOW HOW TO SPELL in case you’re curious: Rodumis. Ridomus. Rodi. Rodu. Rdimus. Rodimus. I want you to know I spelt ‘to’ ‘spell’ and ‘curious’ wrong the first seven times as well. Fuck man.
Rodimus would discreetly join races on Earth just so he could show off. But if humans were aware of bots at this point, I don’t think he’d bother hiding it. Honestly, as much as he has issue with the Galactic Council in MTMTE, I genuinely think he’s cool with organics who aren’t actively trying to kill him, lol. So I think he’d make lots of friends at his races too:)
This is neither here nor there, but I think if Roddy had any little kid fans at his races, bright eyed and bushy tailed all excited to meet him, he’d be really sweet. He knows what it’s like to have a hero you look up to, Optimus, and subsequently why people say you should never meet said heroes. I like to imagine he’d give them a little Rodimus star badge (which I forgot the name of), high-fives and hugs, and words of encouragement. Maybe even offer to take them for a lap around the track! Obviously much slower than normal, lol.
That said, I do think he’d be a little embarrassed, but still happy!, that he had people looking up to him like that:)
Feel like this one is widely liked but I think Rodders enjoys that his human partner cuddles up to him when they’re cold. Yes, I also think he gives off more ambient heat than other Cybertronians, because it’s cute>:). You walk up to him randomly for a hug and say it’s because you’re cold? He’s gonna scoop you up immediately and give you the biggest, warmest hug ever.
Additionally, he seems the type to seek you out for cuddles and hugs in return when he’s stressed. Might mumble against your back about “being cold” just to sell it. Obviously, he’s lying about the last part, but he just doesn’t wanna spill the beans and burden you too much with his Captain duties.
Perceptor
I continue to have the reoccurring thought that Percy could pull a stupendously mean and absolutely hilarious prank on some poor college student by staying silent in his alt mode until they went to use said microscope, then he could scare the living daylights out of them by suddenly speaking; probably resulting in them poking an eye out but it’s funny nonetheless. To me. I don’t think he’d find it funny. Anyway,
I see Perceptor as the type of partner to gently scold you when he finds you’ve only had an iced coffee or something and no water to drink yet that day. He’ll immediately start talking about the science behind how your cells work and require water to do their functions properly, and while it can feel a little preachy at times, you know it’s just because he cares.
I don’t think Percy necessarily struggles with articulating that he cares about you in other ways, I really don’t believe he’d avoid saying he loves you or something like that. I just think he sometimes tries to leverage his caring about you with his knowledge of science, in a hope that you will take better care of yourself, lol.
Touching on that, to me Percy seems like the type to be very comfortable and happy in a relationship, almost immediately falling into a domesticity. I believe he’s the type to fall a bit in love before even asking his future partner on a date, and wanting to be really good friends with you first too.
Perceptor enjoys when you sit with him in the lab while he works, even if you two are just parallel working and not actually interacting much. He likes the quality time and you can feel his EM field buzzing softly against your skin- he knows you can’t read it the same way Cybertronians can but he’s told you the feeling he’s giving off is a sign of affection, so you find comfort in the alien sensation.
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Note: still experimenting with new colors! Also WHY do everything bagels have to be SO MESSY FUCK
Seeing some of the adorable tf merch lovely people like @/revelboo have made recently really makes me wanna design a few things for my faves,, hnng, must fight urge to start new project-
Synopsis: Just some random headcanons I think about from time to time
Note: feel free to share your own headcanons or thoughts!
TW/CW: Minors do not interact. Mentions of human mobility aids, mentions of gambling, Earth is an obscene place to live and humans are freaks, radioactivity, libraries aren’t accessible enough, lots of TFwiki links. Did I miss anything?
Characters mentioned: Optimus, Kup, Mirage, Jazz, Arcee, Ironhide, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Wheeljack, Prowl (if you saw me forget this part, no you didn’t)
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Cybertronians are uber freaked out by humans being able to sense someone watching them without seeing them in return. You can feel it when someone is staring at you while SLEEPING? What the fuck??? Your two species do not share this trait despite being so similar in other ways, and it’s more than a little weird.
Cybertronians are also freaked out by humans being a predator species. They have no natural predators on Cybertron and thus lack those instincts, so it’s a shock for them to learn such about humans.
What do you mean Earth is labeled a class 12 deathworld and Cybertron is like a 3??? HOW ARE YOU ALL ALIVE???
Cybertronians can consume human food and drink, even if it may not benefit them beyond flavor and enjoyment. Humans however cannot drink energon and it’s closest Earth equivalent would be Uranium-235 (most common isotope iirc) ie. Incredibly fucking radioactive. DO NOT EAT THE SHINY ROCK.
As I’ve said before (and seen many times elsewhere!), I think clothing, blankets and other such soft objects are regarded as very fancy and luxurious on Cybertron. You have A WHOLE HOUSE OF SOFT SHIT??? YOURE RICH. Gifting a bot something soft is seen as incredibly meaningful and comforting, as well as expensive.
Sharing food? WOOWEE. Energon was scarce during the war, with Cybertrons golden, opulent age directly preceding it. As such, sharing energon or, any food source really, becomes something of a meaningful act, as one might imagine. Even post war, Cybertronian culture evolves to see this as a mildly profound act of love, whatever kind of love you intend it to be.
(TFP) Arcee is the best at Mario kart, and mains Samus in Smash bros.
(IDW) Jazz’ habsuite is where the friend group/team hosts karaoke night.
Ironhide and Ratchet are best at cyber-poker but never play together; one is always the others dealer. Kup often joins them for games.
Bumblebee is great at mecha-soccer.
Optimus enjoys chess because it reminds him of fullstasis back on Cybertron.
Optimus would be very annoyed that libraries aren’t as widely accessible on Earth and thinks it’s a basic right (he’s based for that btw).
Cybertronians wouldn’t understand prejudice towards disabled people, namely mobility aids. They also happen to think the sci-fi designs look super cool. Biased? Maybe.
Helm holding is an intimate sign of affection, and can vary in what kind. Especially during the war, the idea of trusting someone enough to allow them to shroud your vision, putting your safety and life literally in their servos? That is to say, if a cat headbutt them, they’d melt lol. If anyone remembers/knows where this is from, please let me know!
(TFP) Wheeljack is great at arcade games.
(IDW & ROTB) Mirage does NOT play fair in tear’n’chase or hide and seek. You think a mf who can utilize tricks like mirages plays fair???
Kup and Ironhide are undefeated at arm wrestling.
Hound is a crack shot and simultaneously likes to show off but also gets a lil flustered about people praising him for it.
(IDW) Best prank is to bolt Prowls desk to the floor.
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Note: some of these I’ve probably repeated at nausea, but oh well! Also, I’m still recovering from some pretty heavy shit so sorry if my posts are all over the place. If you think expounding on any of these ideas would make for a fun read, lmk:)
