Donna’s Cancer Fight Journal @donnacarik - Tumblr Blog

FINAL MUSINGS

To All:

Where does one begin? A light has passed from this world. We lost a wife and lover, mother, grandmother, sister, brother, family and friend. Take solace in knowing she is in a better place and no longer in the throes of the terrible pain she suffered.

To Weigel Funeral Home and Corpus Christi, thank you for doing your jobs so well. You were tremendous help.

To everyone who came to the prayer service and/or funeral, our most heartfelt thanks. You came out of love for Donna. She would have been so happy to see how many cared for her.

To the casket bearers and readers, thank you for your gift to Donna. She picked YOU. You all performed magnificently.

To the generosity of our friends and family, we can only be humbled. Your giving was nothing short of incredible. We could not begin to show our gratitude. We are SO blessed! (If you are reading this and did not get a thank you, it's because I don't have your address. Sorry!)

This blog followed a beautiful soul who faced cancer with faith and determination. It became a journey of awareness for us all.

Early on in the fight, she sensed it may not end well. Please know Donna was not scared of Death. She probably flashed her smile at him right before an angel whisked her away.

I miss her with all my being. I am so thankful our paths crossed so many years ago. She was my love, my friend, my beacon. The pain of loss will fade, but our memories will not.

Know that she is watching over us, and I can't think of a better guardian angel.

Peace.

The Carik Family

Tuesday April 28

A light was extinguished today.

Donna passed away at 7:18 AM at home with her sister Mary and me at her bedside.

The funeral will be held at 10:00 on Saturday, May 2nd, at Corpus Christi Catholic Church (www.corpus-christi.org). A prayer service and rosary will be held at 7PM Friday night at Weigel Funeral Home in Mandan (www.weigelfuneral.com). Visitation will be prior from 3-7 (Donna requested a closed casket).

A block of 15 rooms has been reserved at the Kelly Inn (701-223-8001) for a rate of $85 per night. If you are planning on spending Saturday night, I would like to invite you to come to the house. My lovely wife always enjoyed a good get together and we may certainly do so in her memory.

Thanks are in order for so many of you.

To Sanford Oncology, Sanford Infusion Center, Sanford Hospice and Bismarck Cancer Center, your assistance in the start, middle and end of her cancer journey was always of compassion. We greatly appreciated the care you provided. Thank you.

To our friends. It takes a village and it was you! From food to prayers, visits to quilts, we were always engulfed with love. I will always be eternally grateful. Thank you.

To our family. Donna loved you all with ALL her being, and you reciprocated. Nothing more needs to be said. Thank you.

And last but by no means least, my sister-in-law Mary. "Angels have no philosophy but love." I could not have done it without you. I know thank you does not begin to show how much I have appreciated your help the last 2 1/2 weeks. I am forever in your debt.

A quote I often use is "Each man will be judged by the good he did not do". You will all be judged well when that judgment comes.

To all of you, peace. May you know it along with love.

Curt

Saturday April 25

Donna continues to cling to life. When awake she becomes very agitated and uncomfortable in pain. We give her additional meds in conjunction with the pain pump and it seems to help.

When she does pass, I will let everyone know the exact date of the funeral. I hope to allow some time for traveling.

We have talked to Weigel Funeral Home in Mandan about arrangements. Donna requested a rosary the night before at the funeral home, and then we will have the actual funeral the next day at Corpus Christi Catholic Church. Once details are finalized I will update the blog.

As always, words cannot express how much you all mean to us. Your love is felt across the distance and we are forever grateful.

Peace.

Curt

Thursday, April 23

Donna is still hanging on. Yesterday her breathing became very shallow and lengthy between breaths, and we thought the end was very close. She started breathing better in the late afternoon.

We have had the pain pump increased again. What started last Friday as 1 is now a 10, and she still struggles with pain. We have been given another med to try but it's hard to get her to take it because it tastes awful. So it's no more Mr. nice guy and we make her. It does help so I don’t feel too guilty. We are getting a pain patch this afternoon and that should also help.

She is getting weaker as the days go by. The tumor on her chest wall is getting very large so we can see the growth of the disease. If it's the same rate elsewhere it won't be long.

A very BIG shout out to Shannon and the Sanford hospice nurses. They are kind and gentle with Donna and it is greatly appreciated.

Keep praying she finds relief from the pain.

Peace.

Curt

Monday, April 20

Donna’s sister Mary left Friday afternoon, but came back last night to help again. And she brought our brother in law Irv along. I cannot begin to tell you how much their assistance has meant. They hold a place dear in our hearts.

The pain pump started on Friday at 1ml per hour, with the ability to do a booster every 15 minutes. It increased to 2 ml on Saturday, and 2.5 ml on Sunday. The pain is being controlled, but she is often incoherent. We will take the less pain.

She is ready to depart this life and is comfortable knowing she is dying. She is facing death calmly, knowing she will have no more suffering.

With the amount of love she has shown all of us, is there any doubt she will go to Heaven?

Please continue to pray for a dignified passing. I will continue to update as we move forward.

Peace.

Curt

Friday, April17

Today hospice “installed” a pain pump to help Donna rest comfortably. In reviewing the literature from these wonderful people, Donna has quite a few of the signs of end of life. We are hoping as she moves towards that finale she is as pain free as possible. She has become tired of the fight.

Her sister Mary left at 3 PM today after spending the week with us. Words could never begin to express our thanks. One of the kindest, most caring individuals I have ever met in my almost 60 years. Irv Kuch is a lucky man to have such a girl, as are we to have her in our lives. And as requested, she did let me (pretend) to be boss.

As we draw near the end, I find great solace in the fact Donna is cherished and loved by so many. She has touched many lives and shown so many so much love. The love being returned is undescribable. I cry at the mere thought of all of you caring so much for us.

The greatest of these truly is love. May you continue to give it to all who surround you.

Peace. Curt

Monday, April 13

We had a wonderful weekend with family gathered for Donna.

Taylor, Erin, Henry and Cody, thank you for giving mom and grandma the opportunity to receive the love she has shown you throughout the past 35 years. You are her greatest treasures.

To her sisters and brothers and their spouses, as well as the nieces and nephews who were able to attend, I cannot begin to express thanks for the love, kindness and friendship you have shown not only Donna but myself. You have given of yourselves again and again. We are truly blessed.

To Fr. Paul and Sister Ivo, thank you for coming to the house to perform Last Rites. You did a wonderful job and we will always be grateful.

Hospice begins today so we pray Donna’s pain and nauseau will be controlled a little more, and she is able to be comfortable in her final times. We do not know what timeline lays ahead, but we ask she faces it with dignity and no fear.

As always, we are so very thankful for all of you, our friends. You bring hope and love to us each and every day, and please know you are always in our hearts.

Peace.

Curt

Wednesday, April 8

Hello to everyone.

The task of keeping up the blog is now mine. Several things have led to this.

She has third nerve palsy in her right eye, which causes the eyelid to drop and not open all the way, as well as not allowing the eyeball to look up. This makes it difficult to read or even watch TV.

Not that she has felt like watching much TV. The day of the second radiation treatment found her hospitalized by the radiation oncologist. The 2 day stay did allow us to get on top of the pain she was experiencing. She has endured 9 radiation treatments on her lower back, which has caused her to tire very easily. She has to now decide whether she wants 10 treatments on the tumor on her chest wall. It is very large and noticeable.

We met with hospice and are ready to go with them as soon as the radiation determination is made. They won't start until after the radiation is that's what she decides.

Our sons as well as her dad and siblings will be here on Saturday, so we have asked Fr. Paul to perform Last Rites while everyone is here. We wanted the family to be part of the ceremony.

We continue to be thankful for all of you, our friends and family who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. We love you all.

Curt

Feb 3,2015

Sorry for the delay is posting. I was finally able to make it to the hospital and complete all my tests Monday.

Met with Dr. Grey and the news was not good.

Tarceva has not worked at all. The cancer has spread. Several low density lesions in the liver. Pancreas demonstrates a low density cystic lesion.

Right kidney metastasis disease is also a concern.

So this means the Cancer has spread to my organs and the soft tissue mass at L5 has increased in size.

All this is very scary news.

We are going to take a couple of days to digest all this.Do we really want to continue with drugs if they continue to make me ill and not work to contain the Cancer?

Thanks for all the prayers, calls, messages. Will post when we have a plan.

Was finally able to leave the house today and go to hospital for tests. Had a C.A.T. Scan and blood work.

Have another M.R.I. on Monday and an appointment with Dr. Grey to review all the test.

Dr. Winkler my Chiro has given me some exercises to do that are really helping. I can at least cross the room with ought having to hold on to Curt. And can read without nauseous. Not sure if we will ever find the cause for this virdigo. I was begining to think I had another viral infection, or maybe a new tumor, but who knows?

Just hoping and praying for it to clear up so I can go visit Henry.

Have been stuck in bed for days with vertigo. No tests.

Liquid chalk

At the moment I am trying to drink 450ml. of Barium Sulfate Suspension.

First step for C.A.T. test tomorrow. I have 2 tests and then appointment with Dr. Grey. Anxiously waiting test results because we are waiting to visit Henry . I also have been fighting vertigo the last couple of days, But feeling better after seeing the Chiro the last 2 days and today she gave me some more exercises to do. I remember them from my last fender bender.

We had some very sad news last week. My Dad's wife Francis Senger died very suddenly. He is going to really miss his dance partner. We went to Fran's funeral and I kept waiting for someone to ask what was wrong with my face? I got a few stares and lots of hugs.

Our church, Corpus Christi also started their standard Friday Night Lent fish fry. Cost is only $8.00 and is used as a fund raiser for the youth organization in our parish. Check it out. Have never had a complaint about the food.

Okay! I have choked it all down! Like drinking chalk! Will post test results.

Thank you for all the prayers, calls ,cards

If love were the cure...

Ash Wedenesday

Managed to be out and about today even though my face is covered with pimples and I spent most of mass in the bathroom with a nose bleed. I did have an injection this morning and a bone scan this afternoon. My technician said to make sure I let Dr. Grey know . Probably won't get results until my Doctor appointment next week unless there is something drastic to report.

Please keep praying. Hopefully the Chemo maintenance is working and there will be no new Cancer.

Happy Birthday Henry! One month old today!

Thanks for all the cards and calls. Will post results when I receive them.

Had a very nice Valentine's Day. A dozen roses from my hubby and went out to dinner with friends.

Take me to Grandma's house!

Day 18

Started Chemo Maintenance 18 days ago. I am finally starting to feel a little better. And when I remember how awful I felt during Chemo last year at this time, there really is no comparison.

Try to make myself leave the house every day for the last few days and am sleeping less each day. I actually stayed up reading last night after Curt went to bed!

Thanks for all the cards, calls and messages.

If love were the cure...

ONE OF THESE DAYS...

I keep thinking that one of these days I will wake up and feel great. Instead I continue to sleep most of the day, am still losing hair and have pimples on my face! I did get a call from Dr. Grey's nurse today that we are going to do more blood work to check my thyroid and adrenal glands.

We also have an appointment at our church to have a portrait taken for our church directory. It is either wait until my face clears up or get it done before I lose all my hair!!!! We scheduled for this week?

Thanks to everyone who has called, sent cards and continue to check on us.

Sorry that I am not more cheerful

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