yieks

tryna be fun n fresh. turns out i suck at it

[dontdrinkmymilk]

i can’t handle how goddamn cute they are

*dying whale noise*

[dontdrinkmymilk]

that’s the levi i know and love: making sure to remark how nasty someone is, right after saving their ass

[dontdrinkmymilk]

god, i love this

“a sudden visitor!”

“the tormenting curse of puberty!”

me too, jean, me too

this is so dramatic and i love it

[dontdrinkmymilk]

yeah, that’s pretty much it

[dontdrinkmymilk]

friendly reminder that

it isn't bertholdt (192cm) who’s the tallest character from snk/aot

nor mike (196cm) its actually 

keith shadis (198cm)

[dontdrinkmymilk]

i love how eren and hange are so happy and levi just looks so grumpy

while holding a rainbow-colored lollipop

[dontdrinkmymilk]

oh yeah, no, i have no idea, what i was going for

[dontdrinkmymilk]

some ereri for ya

what he sees

vs what he sees

i’m going to hell for this

[dontdrinkmymilk]

watch out usain, annie is coming for ya

[dontdrinkmymilk]

eruri

it looks like erwin and levi are parents, who are about to lecture their toddler how to eat properly

i mean, eruri is practical canon because of this

[dontdrinkmymilk]

Old!Jean

this is jean

this is jean in 30+ years

or a dead horse, you never know

[dontdrinkmymilk]

marco’s bootylicious body

why do I feel like we haven’t talked enough about marco's GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL BODY LIKE DAMN MARCO WHY HAVEN’T I NOTICED SOONER, YOU DONT BELIEVE, HERE,   HE’S SO GODDAMN BIG AND SMEXY

and no it’s probably not the winter coat making him bigger, I mean look at connie! He his body would look weird and tiny af if his body was any smaller and the same goes for sasha.

okay so yeah I went a bit deeper literally trying so hard not making any inappropriate jokes in my quest, to make ppl realise his hot bod and guess what? we’re gonna use booty-bert in comparison for our lovely freckled jesus.

as you can see booty-bert has quite a hot bod as well

very nice actually

and this last one bc he’s a cutie

back to the topic: so to proven my point, we’re gonna use the bmi chart thing and to use that we’ll need bert and marco’s weight and height which we have

here we have marco

and bert

bmi= weight in kilogrammes ÷ height in meters2

what i got, as a result, was that marco’s bmi was 22,09 and bertholdt’s was 21,97, (it isn’t a big difference but there is one!) which means marco weights more and I conclude that its muscles since he not fat.

just for another comparison we’re gonna use eren, like at first, we’ll use our eyes rather than brains

like here, look how giant he looks in contrast to eren

jesus just look at them, he’s so big

here we have eren

so we’ll do it once more: bmi= 63 ÷ 1,72

but before that, let’s have a look at eren's hot bod

I mean damn look at him

he’s got an 8-pack dammit

so yeah eren’s bmi is 21,8 WHICH MEANS THAT MARCO IS HEAVIER THAN EREN, I WANNA SEE HIS GLORIOUS, RIPPED BODY LIKE DAMN! I MEAN NO WONDER WHY REINER WANTED HIM DEAD

[cataclysmic-writer]

Six

Summary: While Reiner and Ymir compare gaydars, Jean finds himself caught in the middle

Collection: Warm-up drabbles.

                                              Six

“How gay?”

“Four.”

“Guys, what the heck?” Jean pinched the bridge of his nose. What in the ever loving heck were Reiner and Ymir talking about?

Reiner pointed at him. “A solid six.”

Jean jumped, slamming his knee on the bottom of the table. What kind of dinner conversation had he walked into? He wanted no part of it.

Ymir rested her chin on her hand and squinted. “I give him a 5.5. He’s in denial.”

“Excuse me?” A rush of anger burned into his veins.

“We’re comparing gaydars.” Ymir said. She turned away from Jean and pointed across the room. “How gay?” Her gaze fell on Eren, whose back was turned.

“I say a 3.” Reiner let out a low whistle. “But he could be a wild card.”

“Chaotic bisexual?”

“Chaotic bisexual.” Reiner agreed. Ymir twirled her fork between her fingers. A smile flickered on her face. “What about Marco? How gay?” He asked

Ymir dropped her utensil and folded her arms over the table, leaning forward. She sighed and squinted, rubbing her lips together. Either she was taking an exam, or trying to activate some unknown superpower. “A solid seven.” She announced, leaning back.

“Seven?” Jean gapped. “You’re kidding!”

“She’s right on the mark.” Reiner said. “Seven.”

“No way!”

“Have you seen the guy?” Ymir asked.

“He’s my best friend!”

“Mmm.” Ymir exchanged a smug look with Reiner. “They’re ‘best friends.’” She made air quotes around the phrase. Her eyebrows rose and fell suggestively.

“I told you: He’s a six.” Reiner shrugged. “Though you were right about the denial part.”

“Don’t drag me into this!” Jean protested.

“I guess our gaydars are about even,” Ymir said. “And here I was expecting to show you up.”

“I could be wrong about Eren.” Reiner conceded. “If I am, you might have me beat.”

“In that case,” Ymir sat up and drew an air circle around her face. “How gay am I?’

“You’re the amount of gay we compare everyone else to.” Reiner snorted. “You’re off the charts. A hundred out of ten.”

“You’ve got me there,” Ymir said. “Spot on intuition.”

“Hey! You two,” Jean waved a hand in front of them. “You know I’m not gay, right?”

“The gaydar doesn’t lie.” Reiner tapped his temple.

“Denial,” Ymir drug out the word, teasing him.

“I’m not in denial!”

“That’s what they all say.”

“The two of you are insufferable.” Jean snapped. “I’m going to go sit with Marco.” He stood up, taking his food tray with him.

“Remember Jean: He’s a seven!” Ymir called behind him. “Your chances are good!”

That night, he lay awake with the numbers six and seven stuck in his mind.