Currently trying (and struggling) to psych myself up and motivate myself to actually read and study the Bible like I've been talking about.
I never would have thought that something so simple and straightforward would be so difficult to even start. My mind has been working overtime to procrastinate, opting for doing nothing at all as opposed to risk doing something wrong or taking responsibility and actually doing what's right. I keep getting memories coming through of easier times where I was doing things for myself as opposed to doing everything for God. Of things I gave up that a small and stupid part of me wants to miss even though I left all of it behind to be obedient to my Lord and Savior and King.
How was leaving all that behind so easy, but the simple thought of reading the Word is difficult and stressful? (Don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question... I'm well aware that it's Satan at work.) I keep looking and asking for answers knowing very well that He is the answer and that His Word will bring clarity. But a combined attack of fear of boredom and lack of motivation continues to hold me back.
I guess just... everyone pray for me. Pray for my motivation to return. Pray for my fear to leave. Pray for God to make steady the parts of my faith that waver. Pray for my desires that have been led astray to be realigned with God. And finally, pray not my will, but His will be done.
I'll post and pin this as a reminder for me to pray it too. Thank you all, and God bless you.













