Also I disassociated and made a Speed-Run on how to use Ao3.
Everyone uses ao3 differently but this is how I do it ✨lazy style✨

#extradirty

if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
Cosimo Galluzzi
Doug Jones

Origami Around

Discoholic 🪩
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Love Begins
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
official daine visual archive

Jimmy Eat World
Today's Document

roma★
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The Bright Sessions
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
untitled
taylor price
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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@doorknobinmyayuss
Also I disassociated and made a Speed-Run on how to use Ao3.
Everyone uses ao3 differently but this is how I do it ✨lazy style✨
he looks like he's planning his and Lucifer's wedding
Whith his track record????
-He’s planning the wedding
-The honeymoon
-Buying a house together
-12 anniversaries
-The divorce
-Burning the house down
-Getting back together
-The breakup
-The second wedding
-Arguing over a prenup-
Someone asked for it, and I said "yeah sure why not?"
What's wild is I don't even ship this guy.
…..This is Fucking Unhinged.
-Said the Radioapple shipper with manic delight.
LET THE FREAKS HAVE THEIR ONE THING
Goddamit Lucifer how the fuck did you mess that up???
The answer is very obviously the-
Critically-Endangered Visayan-Warty-Sow.
dont like? DONT READ
Wattpad is the place you go to have Someone else censor your content.
AO3 is the place you go to have Free-Reign over how YOU censor YOUR content.
@mint-leaves-sugernever
👆I needed to add this👌👌👌
People are acting like you open AO3 -and get slapped in the face with atrocities… 🤦♀️
…This is what you get when you skim the Vitally important information.
-This is an Archive, so it’s got-
-EVERYTHING, ALL OF THE TIME.
-AO3 is also on the internet, so you need to check shit-
-ALL OF THE TIME!!!
Luci knows him so well. :V
Charlie: Hey dad…. I love you.
Lucifer: -What happened?? -Who died? -Are we going to war again? -Whuddya need? -You need cash? -Weaponry? -A pile of intricately crafted rubber ducks????
Alastor: Lu… I love you.
Lucifer: -Damn bitch, Get the fuck off me. -What am I? An all you can eat buffet???
Which Radioapple rescuing dynamic do you prefer?
Lucifer rescuing Alastor
Alastor rescuing Lucifer
Both
Something I didn't think of with reblog or comment
Both of them begrudgingly needing to be rescued at the same time.
And a character chosen at random, has to drag their ass off the couch to go save their dumbasses.
“-fuckin -AGAIN!?!!? What is this??? Why should I help them? ….Am I unknowingly enabling them??? Is this Like a weird non sexual kidnapping kink?…. Nah… I’m staying home, call Charlie she can go get em.”
@sylviaaaaaaaa
proud to say ive never headcanoned Alastor as being smelly
I know Viv said it once in an old stream or interview or whatever
but I never believed it <3
He smells nice IDC what anyone else says he smells nice and woodsy like pinecones and rain
Nobody can convince me that THIS MAN lets himself smell bad he has top tier personal hygiene just look at that hair
Also it looks like he's got perfume/cologne bottles or something on his vanity so he's definitely keeping up with smelling nice
I’d bet my Right-spleen this man smells like Cologne, Damp Reeds and a Touch of Copper.
The bourbon—> is covered up by the smell of cigarettes
The cigarettes—> are covered up by cologne
The cologne—> is subdued by waltzing around in the bayou (because alastor understands the laws of fragrance, and doesn’t want to walk around smelling like an overly enthusiastic teenager)
And then the bayou —> is complimented with some light murder…
To remind people of his atrocities. ✨🌿🪵🩸✨
Silly Game Time: WRONG ANSWERS ONLY! What do the letters in TAWOG stand for?
I have no clue what it originally means, so let's see here...
This apple will overtake Greece
Or consider this:
The awakening will offer growth
The Audacious wendgo of gay 🦌💅✨
Wattpad: We’re amping up the surveillance! We have added a thousand new surveillance cameras and added 100 new security guards! to make sure nobody does anything unsavoury!
Wattpad users: That’s too many! We were happy with just the 3 thousand cameras! and 500 guards!
Wattpad: …..B-but… I thought you liked when I policed the content you consume…
Wattpad users: -NOT THAT MUCH!!! Screw this! We’re leaving!
————
AO3: 💕Welcome to the woods!💕 You can do anything here! -just mind your step, some users like to shit on the ground~
Wattpad users: …..That…is disgusting…. Don’t you have anyone to stop them???
AO3: …………Nooo?~…Haha!…… ✨It’s part of the ecosystem!🌼🌺🌿✨…-helps the plants grow n’ all~… -also if you try to clean it up the users will start hissing at you.
AO3 author: *Hissing from behind a bush*
AO3: -Love your work Kelly!
Wattpad users: ………………….what?… wHy?!??
AO3: -Because they like to put it there???…ahem….……. -Look, just don’t go near the shit unless u wanna go near it…. It’s really not that hard to understand…
Wattpad user: -THEY SHOULD HIDE THEIR BUISNESS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!
AO3: …Hide it? -Why would they hide it??? ……………That would just make it annoying for the readers.
Wattpad user: …..-wuh?-THIS PLACE IS UNSANITARY! YOU’RE ALL JUST WILD ANI-….what the fuck are they doing?…
AO3 readers: ……*Carefully placing tiny pebbles in a circle around Kelly’s “work”*…..
AO3: *scoffs* …Showing their gratitude, Obviously….. *and picks up a pebble for Kelly* -talk about entitled…
The new Wattpad adventures glance to their left only to discover; giant, beautiful, AO3 fic trees with brightly colored leaves of content warnings gently floating down from up above. The adventurers watch these diverse leaves fall but choose to ignore them (for some reason).🍁🍃🍂🌳
Wattpad: We’re amping up the surveillance! We have added a thousand new surveillance cameras and added 100 new security guards! to make sure nobody does anything unsavoury!
Wattpad users: That’s too many! We were happy with just the 3 thousand cameras! and 500 guards!
Wattpad: …..B-but… I thought you liked when I policed the content you consume…
Wattpad users: -NOT THAT MUCH!!! Screw this! We’re leaving!
————
AO3: 💕Welcome to the woods!💕 You can do anything here! -just mind your step, some users like to shit on the ground~
Wattpad users: …..That…is disgusting…. Don’t you have anyone to stop them???
AO3: …………Nooo?~…Haha!…… ✨It’s part of the ecosystem!🌼🌺🌿✨…-helps the plants grow n’ all~… -also if you try to clean it up the users will start hissing at you.
AO3 author: *Hissing from behind a bush*
AO3: -Love your work Kelly!
Wattpad users: ………………….what?… wHy?!??
AO3: -Because they like to put it there???…ahem….……. -Look, just don’t go near the shit unless u wanna go near it…. It’s really not that hard to understand…
Wattpad user: -THEY SHOULD HIDE THEIR BUISNESS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!
AO3: …Hide it? -Why would they hide it??? ……………That would just make it annoying for the readers.
Wattpad user: …..-wuh?-THIS PLACE IS UNSANITARY! YOU’RE ALL JUST WILD ANI-….what the fuck are they doing?…
AO3 readers: ……*Carefully placing tiny pebbles in a circle around Kelly’s “work”*…..
AO3: *scoffs* …Showing their gratitude, Obviously….. *and picks up a pebble for Kelly* -talk about entitled…
Someone tell me why the fuck Alastor is blamed for all of the shit that went down with Vox. (TW: MENTIONS OF RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT.)
"Oh but he likes it tho!" "He poses for Vox's cameras!" Have we ever considered that he does a grand total of 0 posing after season 1? The first time Alastor and Vox "interact" in season 2 is in episode 3, where Alastor, instead of engaging Vox like he did in season 1, immediately teleports away. I think he's annoyed at how obsessed Vox is with him. He looks nothing but annoyed to be in Vox's presence.
I'm standing by the truth that Alastor is DEEPLY affected by Vox's psychosexual obsession with him
Which, by the way, VOX IS PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WITH ALASTOR, because of his comments at the end of S1 ("Oh Alastor, I can't wait to watch you get FUCKED!" "I am so hard right now!" "Fuck you Alastor, ahahahaha, this is better than sex!"), filming him, tying him up and gagging him, drawing his ass, claiming he does not have a fail, which means he probably took the liberty to CHECK, he forced Alastor to watch him and Valentino have sex (which is a form of sexual assault, ESPECIALLY if Vox attempted to include Alastor in the sex, and keeping in mind we don't know what happened during the sex. Alastor looked extremely pissed and disgusted.) and then there's the entirety of DYFR, which has EXTREMELY rapey lyrics (my house, my rules, my room, my tools, at my mercy, cursed to watch me take it all (take Val when they were having sex) , run dry and how you look so small (which insinuates that Alastor was not only unaroused, but was actively disgusted), try to squirm and struggle and it wouldn't do a thing, master and bottomest bitch, though the radio's gone dead you know, the show must go on (Insinuating Alastor was dissociating while he and Val were going at it, or, if we take the darker path that Vox actually did rape Alastor, Alastor went limp, or fell unconscious, and Vox still continued.))...
Obviously that would affect Alastor. I'm pretty sure he's a sex-repulsed asexual. The few sexual advances made towards him have made him very very very very very uncomfortable. First Angel Dust's offer to blow him, which he was very taken aback by, Angel Dust's offer to have sex with him, which he was also disgusted by, and his entire reaction to Vox's advances in episode 4. Coming from someone who is aceflux and has times where I am sex repulsed, I mean it is physically repulsive to think about or do. And adding on the fact that he believes he is heterosexual, and does not understand his own asexuality, he is likely feeling extremely confused, disgusted, and uncomfortable with the entire situation.
So why he fuck is he the one who is blamed for it all? "He deserves it because he was mean to Vox!" EXCUSE ME? NOTHING JUSTIFIES SEXUAL ASSAULT. Yes, Alastor's rejection of Vox was extremely harsh, but that does not justify Vox ASSAULTING HIM.
Are they just as bad as each other? Yes and no. They're both extremely toxic people, and they kill and they hurt others. But towards each other? Yeah, I'd say Vox is worse.
Let's see, what has Alastor done to Vox?
Rejected him harshly, called him pathetic, weak, disappointed, embarrassing
Insulted him and poked at his reliance on the other Vees.
Fought him
Lied about him publicly and taunted him
Sliced his wires off
Threw him against a building
Threw a truck at him
Collapsed a bridge on top of him
Attacked his friends
Threatened to send him to his broadcast
Hmm, and what has Vox done to Alastor?
Threw a tantrum over him coming back, causing a city-wide blackout
Made sexual comments towards him
Called him a furry, called him gross, has a weird fixation on his "triangle ass", called his staff a dildo.
Spied on him
Openly slandered the Hotel.
Mocked him.
Fought him
Electrocuted him
Bound and gagged him
Got his friends to fight him
Paraded him around hell
Announced on live television that Alastor did not have a tail.
Drew a crude image of his tail-less behind
Went on a weird ass smoothie date with him
Forced him to watch Valentino and Vox to have sex
Flashed him
Invaded his personal space several times, particularly touching his shoulders and face
Forced him into several sexually provocative positions
Caused Alastor to drop his smile
Threatened to slit his throat
Threw him halfway across the Pentagram
Called his massive death shark, that then went on to nearly bite Alastor's arm off
Tried to kill him with an angelic cannon
Was quite literally ready to kill everyone in the vicinity just to see Alastor hurt
So...uh...yeah
This very much feels like the Man V.S Bear debate…
Only it’s “would you rather be lost in the woods With a Deer or a TV???”
Im picking the deer…
-But isn’t the woods one of the more frequent places he would kill his victims?
Oh absolutely.
-Isn’t he faster, smarter, has better hearing and can change in size?
Yup
-Wouldn’t he cook you into some form of cannibal-style-southern Dish?
I hope so, I never really saw myself ending up as upholstery…
-Don’t you think-
-Uppuppup! -Shuddup. That’s enough...
-I have a 50/50 chance of survival Just from his mood alone.
-A 70/30 chance if I am well mannered towards him.
-And even if I STILL manage to fuck it up,
…I know this guy isn’t gonna have creepy plans for My DEAD or ALIVE body.
Having family members who can cook is actually so annoying when I'm not the one eating it and they keep sending pictures to the group chat like fuck you and your fancy cheeses I have whatever that shit that comes in kraft is
My brother: *Eating a delightful looking grilled chicken salad with a side of freshly brewed coffee* ✨🥬🍅🥒🐓🍶🍽️☕️✨
My goblin ass: *Stealing some of the ✨Aesthetically sliced avocado✨ with my bare hands, to smush onto my stale supermarket croissant and paring it with the iced coffee I forgot about for 3+ hours* 🧌🥐🤜🥑 🥤
Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.
I feel like my childhood was the exact opposite of yours op….
Me at 13: *Unhinged, Unsupervised, Full of hormones and Ready to desensitise every particle of my soul*
Me at 28: ………I only just learnt, how to use the filtering system a few months ago……… and bookmarks 🥴
Sorry but no the tags are too good to just be tags
-Holy shit. -Wait. -You just made me realise something