Fuck, man. 15 years.
I went back and read through some of our old conversations. 5 years in and there was a familiarity that is so foreign to me now, but I know it’s just because we've both grown up. It’s weird, but it’s warming. And not weird bad, weird "how lucky I am to know you in any capacity".
We were two 21 year olds talking shit about sex and music and navigating emotions outside ourselves across the country. Constant bits; I forgot how funny I could be, and how painfully cringy. You’ve always been so smart and funny.
The familiarity remains, I think I’m just learning better how to appreciate loved ones for who they are, and not who I am. I think I lost it over the years but it was always a me thing. I want to reach out and grab your hand and hear everything about you again. I don’t want to be 21 again, but I do want to talk about some deep and stupid shit with you.
1.28am 3rd August 2024
11.49pm 11th August 2026
How lucky for the past two years of deepening and miscommunication and laughter and arguments and love.
I have perpetuated the worst, or maybe complex? Or perhaps easiest parts of myself. I’ve brought myself full circle and you came with me.
Telling myself in August 2024 what the years since then have been like would have been jarring, but I hope relieving.
Can’t get rid of me that easily, even if I want to get rid of me sometimes.
I think we’re stuck here. Glad to have a friend, though.
