My Vanity Is A Virtue

A Dagger! A Dagger! Please Fetch Me A Dagger! - 1994/ NB

[sapphling]

many will attempt to "end" the hug after only five to ten seconds of holding you. crucially, this is where the claws come into play

[enki2]

[enki2]

[enki2]

[mon3trs]

in space no one can hear you moan like a girl

[fat-fuck-hairy-belly]

Ground control here, we can hear you just fine

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[softness-and-shattering]

Friend of mine calls it active listening. Ah yes we are speaking of tooths. I understand and respond. Here it a tooth image. I have heard you.

[thelooniemoonie]

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

[thelooniemoonie]

nice try but that doesn't work on me. appreciate the attempt tho <3

[sketchyfletch]

Anybody who has spent any time working in retail, hospitality or IT can tell you that a not-inconsiderable number of NT people cannot follow a fucking instruction if you wrote it down on a piece of paper and stapled it to their forehead

[imanalienuranalien-deactivated2]

Not to be pornographic but you should lay your head on my chest so I can slowly play with your hair and scratch your head and caress your neck until all your muscles relax then I'll kiss your forehead

[tothechaos]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

[computationalcalculator]

[stealingpotatoes]

making bucky a politician is one of the most insane choices the MCU has ever made but you know what. sure. i'm here for it

(commission info // tip jar!)

[theswisscheeserag]

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

[louisegluckpdf]

smash or pass a gentle summer rainstorm

[revelware]

smash to smithereens brother

[septembercfawkes]

PSA: Just a friendly reminder that whenever you start a creative project, you will invariably hit a phase where the Thing™️ appears horrendous and you start asking existential questions. But if you keep working, it invariably passes and starts to resemble something less like the devil’s vomit. Doesn’t matter if it’s art, writing, or what–this happens repeatedly. Carry on.

[pyvorak]

Maidan, 2014

[karparik]

The police had a variety of weapons, from rubber batons to firearms and protection. But the Ukrainians went around with their bare hands or made some kind of protection from improvised materials (armor from pillows or a saucepan instead of a helmet) and defended their freedom. I remember live broadcasts where people stood up, fought and defended each other from the police. People stood for 94 days from November 21, 2013 to February 22, 2014. Three months! I was 10-12 years old at the time, so I could not take direct part.

And the Russians did not even try… I still remember the recordings where three dozen Russians were running away from one policeman. None of my Russian "friends" went to the demonstration. They began to repeat the theses of Russian propaganda in unison, and a quarter of them even wished me death because I did not wait for salvation from Russia. The Russian rallies against the war were small and lasted no more than a week..

Draw conclusions.

[angelnumber27]

today I saw a girl say “dick is common loot”

[recuperationdisliker]

thing abt being some sort of dyke or lesbo is that you find yourself talking about girls with girls. clear conflict of interest, there.

[recuperationdisliker]

so instead of saying "i would love to have sex with several of my close friends" in dms with a close friend, because that would make it a bit awkward, i instead say it here in front of like, everyone

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

reblog this post to say "i would love to have sex with several of my close friends."

send this post to a friend in DMs to let them know you're thinking of them specifically

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

my wife just shared this post in the group chat

which could mean anything

[not100bees]

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

[not100bees]

Bugs Bunny beats Thanos by setting up an airport and making him take off the Infinity Gauntlet to go through the metal detector.

Miss Piggy beats Thanos by karate chopping him in the face and sending him flying.