gail rubens

I ain't gonna die in Cleveland is all I have to say...

[dorothyexceptnot]

plz don’t delete me again

[dorothyexceptnot]

Short Way Home | Gail and Chet

[chet-vs-theworld-blog]

"Unless you’re hiding a gun somewhere in there," Waving a hand at her attire with a bit of an unimpressed look on his face, Chet took a glance at his watch. He had time. "I really doubt that."

[dorothyexceptnot]

"I, um, appreciate your concern," she said, her discomfort now visible as she drew back. "But I don't think I need an escort that's a complete strangers. F-for all I know, you could be a kidnapper or a pimp or something."

She was naive, not stupid.

[dorothyexceptnot]

Short Way Home | Gail and Chet

[chet-vs-theworld-blog]

Marla would kill him if he let the girl wander on her own.

Face pulling a bit of a grimace, he sighed, tugging at the front of her coat till it covered all of her head in an effort to be helpful. “Names Chet, and you’re going to get lost if you go on your own, so come on.”

He wasn’t even going to get paid for this, this wasn’t a job, this was trying to be a good person and escort a girl home so she didn’t get mugged, or worse.

[dorothyexceptnot]

Gail squirmed slightly uncomfortably when he touched her coat, but let him pull it over her head when it appeared he didn't mean any harm. She did carry pepper spray, after all. But she couldn't help but feel uneasy at a man she'd never met before telling - not asking, but telling - her that he was going to walk her home.

"That's okay," she said, deliberately avoiding telling him her name, just in case. "I'll be fine."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Short Way Home | Gail and Chet

[chet-vs-theworld-blog]

Twenty minutes at most, and his jacket would be soaked through. The cotton-wool blend was heavy and thick, but it made for the worst sort of company in damp weather, and his blond hair was already starting to plaster itself to his head.  

Ten minutes in the least, and he would have been safely tucked away in the diner where his sister was tottering around on her shift, the exact place where he’d intended to surprise her, yet everything seemed to have other plans. 

Instead, it had started to rain, and a smaller than him figure had traipsed out of the old brick cathedral with a look of concentration on her face, and a glance to the darker side of town that he recognized all too well.

"I wouldn’t do that if I were you."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Gail looked up at the sound of someone's voice.

"It's not my first choice," she admitted, pulling her coat over her hair, which was already getting into her face and making it hard to see, "but if I go the other way it'll take an hour, and this is silk." She gestured to the skirt she wore only for church. "And also if I'm late my parents will kill me."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Short Way Home | Open Para

Gail stepped out of the church, where she'd just been going to youth group, and turned up her coat collar to shield herself from the winter wind. It was getting cold by the day, and she let out a few curse words when she looked up at the sky and found that dark storm clouds were blanketing the city. A storm was coming, and she had two ways to get home: an hour long walk through the safe, relatively clean city streets where she knew her way around, or a trip through the ghetto that, provided she didn't get lost, would take fifteen minutes.

She stood there trying to decide, when the first drops began to fall.

The short way, it was.

[dorothyexceptnot]

Henry: 1 new TXT from: Gail

Gail: Well? What'd your mom say???

Henry: She said yes!

Gail: Yay~! Now, let's go over that checklist again. What do you NOT bring up in front of my dad?

Henry: Music, theater, Kennedy assassination, Michigan football team, lawyers, evolution, gun control, Democrats, my being Baptist. And I can't swear in front of your mom. Did I miss anything?

Gail: Very good! Though you could probably get away with saying "damn" or "hell" in front of my mom if you say it with a British accent. For some reason, she finds everything less offensive coming from the British.

[dorothyexceptnot]

Henry: 1 new TXT from: Gail

Gail: Well? What'd your mom say???

Henry: She said yes!

Gail: Yay~! Now, let's go over that checklist again. What do you NOT bring up in front of my dad?

[dorothyexceptnot]

Henry: 1 new TXT from: Gail

Gail: Well? What'd your mom say???

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

"And what about us, then? What will we be doing while our parents are becoming fast friends?" Henry resisted the urge to punch himself in the mouth. No, no, no! They were not even close to being real friends yet, he was only just going to her home to for the first time! He should not be talking so forwardly! "I-I mean—! Uh…"

[dorothyexceptnot]

"Talking, I assume. Or maybe playing board games..." she said, not noticing his nervousness. 

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

"Uh… She doesn’t do much of it, no…" Henry said, shrugging awkwardly. "My mom doesn’t have too many hobbies, actually. You know how, uh, single moms are. Always busy."

[dorothyexceptnot]

"Hmm..." she said, thinking about it as she bit her lip. "Well, I'm sure they'll find something in common."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

"Hey! Don’t smile at me like that—I’m serious!" Henry laughed, accepting her hug by wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders. "I’m totally a gentleman! Trust me, my daddy would’ve killed me if I hadn’t! My parents did get something right about raising me, you know!”

Henry shook his head. “Anything else they can talk about? My mom and I aren’t big TV people.”

[dorothyexceptnot]

"Uh... does she like cooking?"

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

"Uh… No swearing. Check." Shit this was gonna be hard.

"Gentleman? What’re you talking about Gail, there’s no reason to tell me to be a gentleman. I’m always a gentleman." Henry said, smiling at her. Despite his joking tone, it really was true. When he wasn’t going out of his way to be a little shit, he was remarkably well-behaved.  Well—except the swearing. That might be a problem. "If nothing else, my parents at least taught me my manners.”

[dorothyexceptnot]

Gail gave him an almost catlike smile. "Glad to hear it," she said, giving him another sidehug.

"If your mom watches any soap operas, she and my mom could talk for hours."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

Future inlaws no longer sounding exciting.

"Uh… That’s a lot of stuff," Henry said, counting it all off on his fingers. Was this a joke he wasn’t getting, or as her dad actually one of those touchy, angry people? Michigan made enough sense, no one talked about Michigan much, but why theater? Did this mean the dinner was gonna be awkward? Was he gonna get glared at? He didn’t wanna get glared at. “I’ll tell my mom, then… Wait—what does my being a Baptist have to do with anything?”

[dorothyexceptnot]

"We're Protestant and he's a conservative," she said, as if that explained everything. Which, in a way, it sort of did.

"Now, my mom's an easy customer if you compliment her cooking, call her ma'am, and treat me like a lady," she explained. "She loves it when boys act like gentlemen. So just be polite and... don't act like a dumbass. And don't say 'dumbass' in front of her. Or 'cunt.' Or 'bitch.' Or 'little cunty bitch.' That one really doesn't go over well."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

Henry bit his lip at the sound of her disappointed voice.

"…I mean…" He sighed, rolling his eyes and failing spectacularly at hiding his grin. "…I’ll ask her, okay? I’m sure she won’t mind. But—" Henry poked her in the ribs. "—I do expect that pumpkin pie, alright?"

A Thanksgiving dinner at Gail’s? With Gail’s family? Calling it a dream come true would be an understatement! He was at last going to meet his future in-laws. There was much to be done. Thrift shopping, specifically. His mother didn’t have anything nearly good enough in her wardrobe, as it was mostly work clothes. He would have to go get her something tomorrow, then… Oh, it was too exciting!

[dorothyexceptnot]

She smiled. "I'll save you a slice," she assured him. She wrapped one arm around the shoulder to give him a side-hug. She figured that much closeness was safe, at least for now.

"If you want to keep things nice and quiet and happy over dinner," she said, beginning the long and rigorous process of making him less punch-able, "there are some things you shouldn't bring up around my dad. The Michigan football team, Democrats, evolution, gun control laws, lawyers, the Kennedy assassination, theater, music, or the fact that you're Baptist."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

Henry was grateful for the bitter cold making his face red before Gail could. The offer was impossibly tempting, and it didn’t help that she was smiling at him like that. Eating a Thanksgiving dinner, was one thing. Eating a Thanksgiving dinner with Gail, was another. Eating a Thanksgiving dinner with Gail and her family, was yet another. But Eating a Thanksgiving dinner with Gail, and her family, inside their special fancy big home? That was not a thing. He refused to believe it.

"W-we couldn’t! We couldn’t live with ourselves knowing you’d gone to all to trouble to cook for two extra guests…" Henry said, trying to hide his embarrassed smile. It was just like Gail to hand out such a kind offer. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "No one even likes holiday guests! We just couldn’t…"

[dorothyexceptnot]

Gail's home wasn't "fancy," at least not in her mind. A half-double shared with an old woman that was from Russia and made Gail suspicious sandwiches whenever her father fixed her sink, which was a lot. It wasn't exactly big, but it had enough. 

"Oh..." she said, slightly disappointed. "If you're sure, then, okay. But I hope you'll stop by anyway, at least for a slice of pie."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

Henry felt his brain’s left hemisphere crumbling.

"Y-you’re… i-in-invite… i-inviting us?!” Henry said, trying to piece his brain back together in his startled state. The offer was both baffling and horrifying. Him and his mother in someplace like that? Surely she was kidding. But maybe she was, and he just missed it? He laughed a little too loudly, just to make sure. “I-i-isn’t… isn’t Thanksgiving sort of a, uh… um… family thing? W-we w-w-wouldn’t want to i-in-intrude… or a-anything…”

[dorothyexceptnot]

Gail was not kidding.

"It's normally a family thing, but our family hates us," she said casually. "We never get any company. My mom is one of those freaks that actually likes cooking Thanksgiving dinner, so she won't mind. You wouldn't be intruding at all!" She smiled and poked him in the ribs. "Come on, Hen, just ask your mom. Think of the turkey... the mashed potatoes with hot butter... the pumpkin pie... the cranberry sauce... the yams... the pumpkin pie..."

[dorothyexceptnot]

Never Made Me Stronger | Gail and Henry

[henrygetshisasskicked-deactivat]

"Well, lookit you, lil’ miss!" Henry joked, nudging her with his elbow playfully. It wasn’t entirely a joke, as Gail’s meager plans sounded quite pleasant and festive to him. His family wasn’t doing anything to celebrate the season, beyond his mom not going out that night. Though that was celebration enough for them. They weren’t very picky people.  "All fancy with yer turkey ‘n yer parade ‘n shit? Damn girl, you’re just going all out, aren’t ya?"

[dorothyexceptnot]

"Yes, yes, nothing but the best for the House of Rubens," she sarcastically agreed, laughing a bit. Then, suddenly, she smiled. "You know, if you and your mom really aren't doing anything big..." she said, "I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind if you two stopped by for Thanksgiving dinner."