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@dorsetti
theres something so sexy about ruben in those sweatpants
It’s why Niall cannot take his eyes off him, anon. Also, not Ruben showing up to save his Bambi from spiralling after they’ve been parted for three days eternity in the joggers Ruben knows Niall likes him in. These two will do anything for each other except fuck/discuss their love 🥲.
Niall also likes him with a buzz cut but that’s for another day, anon:
Would Ruben help Niall get clean in the shower before sex? Would they even know about enemas? Would they have to figure it out themselves?
Anon, I had to consult The Elders that came of age in the time before the internet because it was truly a different world.
They would have had to 100% figure it out for themselves. I don't think Ruben helps Niall prep, that is too intimate for them as young men even if they've addressed The Issue.
However, Ruben steals several gay magazines from the explicit shelf at a news agents on the other side of Glasgow, hoping that they had practical guides or advice columns on what to do. Or at the very least guides to products they should use. He comes home and reads them with Niall and awkwardly discuss their options.
And that's how Niall comes to be in his shower, prepping as best as he can and hoping it all goes well because the anal douching adverts scarred him. They learn as they go, and knowing them, there was a lot of cumming and going.
Niall doesn’t eat ass but does he suck dick?
What a great question, anon. Yes BUT for Older Niall, the men must meet certain criteria:
- Must be tall. If Niall doesn’t have to look up at them, he’s not getting on his knees.
- Must be a brunette or auburn-haired, for reasons.
- MUST be muscular & fit. Sorry twinks and bears, head with Niall is a one way street for you and you’ll be the ones slobbering on his alleged big dick.
- Must have an air of danger/be slightly unhinged. Nothing makes Niall’s gag reflex disappear quicker than the vague sense he’s in danger while giving head.
- Must be willing to toss Niall around a bit. Again, his gag reflex disappears with a few strong slaps demanding he suck cock better.
- Strong preference for men with piercing blue eyes. Again, for reasons.
Niall has a carefully curated list of men he takes into his mouth. He hates himself a little afterward because he sees it as super gay behaviour, but he can’t help himself. Importantly, Older Niall NEVER swallows. This has gotten him beaten up a few times.
If they’d addressed The Issue in 1987, Young Niall sucks dick much earlier. Well, just the one attached to his stepbrother. The first time was after Ruben beat Gus black and blue. Niall had been grateful to Ruben and asked how he could repay him. Ruben laid back on his bed with his hands behind his head, smiling like a Cheshire Cat at Niall, and gesturing his head toward his groin. It becomes a nightly occurrence, and Niall was never quite sure what mood Ruben would be in and how he’d treat Niall. Frankly, Niall didn’t care. On nights when Ruben came home fuming after an argument with Mona, Niall was giddy with anticipation. He knew Ruben would be extra demanding of him that night, and he loved that.
This Niall does blow other guys, usually the stagehands in the uni drama society or the rugby players in his English seminars, and only when he’s fuming that Ruben and Mona are back together for the 200th time. He tells Ruben about this when he comes crawling back after yet another break up because he knows Ruben will blow a gasket. He face fucks Niall so hard as a punishment that they both know Niall craves.
you have the best takes i love everything you say
Alright anon let’s test your devotion:
Alby Safadi had a “But Daddy, I can Fix Him!” kink and he was over the moon when Niall “No Ass All Sass” Kennedy showed up at his sexual health clinic years later.
And furthermore: one of the reasons Niall looked like he was about to face the firing squad on their wedding day had nothing to do with Ruben and everything to do with the fact that Niall was still going to bathhouses for anonymous sex with any and all men, some times with a condom sometimes not and sometimes stealthing. And on days when the Ruben-shaped hole in his heart was too much to bear, he would slink out to the seedier neighbourhoods of Glasgow, sometimes to meet his old dealer and others to visit his semi-regular call boys. And because he has somewhat of a heart that wasn’t consumed by what he’s done to Ruben, he felt guilty not quite giving his full self to Alby.
If there is something we in the middle classes can do it’s paper over the cracks. Problems? Not here. Just a nurse and his award winning author husband living the dream, no issues at all nothing to see here.
He had:
- Daddy issues
- Mummy issues
- Stepbrotherlover issues
- Abandonment issues
- Codependency issues
- Self loathing issues
- Horrible hair cut issues
Honestly, he could’ve been more of a menace to society and we love that about him.
When Niall turned 12 the pressure of being a good kid that's never a bother to his mum, the unprocessed sorrow of his father's death, the bullying at school, and his self-imposed pressure to be an excellent student all became too much. One day, he returned home from school exhausted and fall asleep in his room straight away. He didn't hear Lori call him down to dinner and woke up hours later, his digital alarm clock flashing 3:00am. He was hungry, but not enough to get out of bed and find whatever leftovers his mum saved him.
The next day he felt lighter and well rested. He didn't mind not having dinner. So he skipped lunch too. And so he started skipping meals. He felt high and a rush of adrenaline that made him feel sharper. And for the first time in a long time, he felt in control.
But the bullying eventually got worse. The kids called him a skeleton, death on legs. Lori noticed too, and for once her professional training kicked in where her own child was concerned. She gets him help, such as it existed then.
So Niall eventually stops restricting. But it also never fully goes away. When he's stressed, angry, or sad, Niall's first instinct is to restrict for periods of time.
Ruben notices it return when Niall is revising for Highers. He knows Niall wants to get into uni and get away from this place (and maybe even him) more than anything. His collarbone and cheeks are more prominent, his eyes ever so sunken. And Ruben feels powerless. His fists and his screams are useless against an enemy that lives in Niall's mind.
Walk with me here: Lori was raised in a strict Protestant household in Castlemilk, a post-war housing estate built to alliviate the overcrowding in inner Glasgow, where Catholics also lived. She went to school with her eventual scissor sister, Maura, and as young girls they exchanged stolen kisses. But it's the 1960s and she must eventually marry a man.
Enter a young handsome Catholic, Patrick Kennedy, whom she's known most of her life and catches her eye now that he's a man. And she catches his. They begin a harmless flirtation that neither of their families are thrilled about. Eventually when they're 18 and leaving school, she gets pregnant by him. This is the early 1970s, the Kirk (Church of Scotland) is losing it's hold on society, the Catholic Church as well but not as fast. Lori's father, and by extension her whole family, are staunch Kirk members and are scandalized both that their daughter is pregnant out of wedlock and, gasp, by a Catholic.
The potential bastard grandchild is only just the bigger sin to him. So Lori must marry him.
The Kennedys are also not thrilled, but for them it's mostly because the youngsters aren't married, not becuse Lori is a Protestant. They also assume that the child will be raised Catholic, like his father.
Lori's mother and father are the only members of her family to attend, they've forbidden her siblings to have anything to do with her for fear of corrupting them with her sinful ways and Papist sympathies. They leave after the ceremony, and Lori never sees her father again.
Lori and Patrick move in with his mother, but their small council house is already packed. So they apply for a house and like many young couples in the early 1970s are moved to Cumbernauld, on the other side of Glasgow from where they grew up. A few years later, she gets a call from her old friend Maura now Pallister, excitedly telling her that her and her husband and their little boy have been given a council flat in Cumbernauld as well. This makes Lori feel more alive than she has in years.
And who knows, maybe her son could become a friend to her shy and gentle boy, Niall.
My fave thing about Half Mandom is that we really run the gamut of thoughtful character breakdowns, relationship evaluations, and smut. Like “Ruben definitely fingered Niall for the first time at 17 and didn’t use enough lube so Niall just thought sex hurt at first.”
And that’s beautiful.
Oh god would Ruben ever have a breeding kink. Can you imagine the first time they do it without a condom? Lorrrdddd
Exactly, anon. With Niall? Inevitable. And Niall being Niall and a lover of dick, especially his stepbrother’s, would be over the moon. They would literally be at it every night and twice a day once one of them gets their own place.
I don’t think they ever use a condom though. Niall’s Catholic background ensured his sex ed was minimal and he can’t actually get pregnant so what’s the issue? Lori was too embarrassed to talk to him about safe sex even when stories about HIV came on the news and she was pretty sure Niall is gay. And he’s probably doing things with his stepbrother in their shared room, a situation she created.
Young Ruben hates condoms. He’s the type that tells girls he can’t wear them because they choke his dick or something. With Niall it’s no different even if he is gentler with him at the start. He’ll keep Niall on a short leash - Niall can’t so much as give a handjob to any man who isn’t Ruben. He tells him it’s for his own protection, but really it’s because Ruben cannot share Niall. And Niall for his part is getting dicked down by the love of his life so he’s just fine with the status quo.
niall developing a pit kink is soo canon to me! ruben would notice niall slightly inhaling him but would nt say antthing and then he initiated more physical contact between them such as hugs or putting his arm round niall neck just to allow his brother a sniff of his pits ... he may or may not have noticed a slight bulge forming in nialls sweatpants
In this universe where they address The Issue early on you are 1000% correct anon. And the thing is that Ruben doesn't smell? Frustratingly and intoxicatingly for Niall, Ruben just has this scent Niall can't place. Part of it is the cheap cologne Maura got him for Christmas a few years back that suits hiim, but he also just has a natural smell of clean. Niall will go on to spend years trying to describe this in his writing and failing.
And of course Ruben will notice and oblige in a way where Niall doesn't have to ask. He may be a lad but he's not cruel. And we know he gets off on it too.
Fortunately for Niall, he'll discover that Ruben has a breeding kink but this doesn't happen until Niall moves away to uni.
i feel like niall would be all up rubens pits when they were younger if they were a thing. theres no way ruben was putting his hands up smoking a blunt and niall not absolutely eating them out
Richard Gadd I know this is you. This is true and correct, Dick Anon.
The thing is that Ruben had to talk Niall into doing it. Our sweet, not yet turned into the community bicycle Niall Brandon Kennedy, had only just learnd that men have sex anally and that was enough of a revelation. And then Ruben is there shirtless, intoxicating Niall, and he playfully suggested that Niall should get his face all up in it. Niall was mortified at the suggestion but what he didn't know is that he would eventualy love the smell of Ruben. Not fully sweaty, Niall is a pillow princess at this stage, but he was delighted to have another way to worship Ruben.
''You drilled into me last night. I can still feel you.''
''I want to remember how good it feels when you fuck me.''
oh!!!😳😳😳🤭🤭🤭🤭
Have we considered the possibility that while Niall was at the library getting dick, Ruben would let himself into the bedsit he paid for, look through Niall’s extensive porn and dildo collection, read his manuscripts, smell his clothes - probably taking a pair of pants/undies as a souvenir - and check how his recording devices were doing bc he indeed had the flat bugged so he could listen in on Niall and the men he brought home & his wanking sessions?
PLEASE BRING YOUR WRITING TO AO3 EVEN IF IT'S IN SCRIPT FORMAT
I will try, anon! I need to get reacquainted with the writing side of that site. In the meantime, the rest:
GLASGOW, 1991
INT. THEIR FLAT, RUBEN’S BEDROOM – THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Ruben wakes up slowly.
He opens his eyes to see Niall is in his bed, curled into his extra pillow.
He watches him for a moment.
A smile threatens. He swallows it.
Ruben slips out of bed, careful not to wake Niall.
Was catching up on Shetland and @ American Ruben Anon, this is pretty bang on the money.
When I was a baby gay new in LA in the 2010s, I took one scriptwriting class and proceeded never to do anything with it. But I've been inspired recently so sharing this snippet from a Half Man AU I've excised from my mind. Heavy on the AU. Not formatted properly bc idk how to do that here.
GLASGOW 1991
EXT. PARK – SUMMER EVENING
The football has finished, though you’d never know it from the noise still drifting across the city.
It’s one of those Scottish summer evenings where the sun seems reluctant to leave. The light hangs low over the park, turning everything gold.
Niall (20) and Ruben (21) wander along the path, pleasantly drunk after an afternoon at a beer garden. Neither is in any hurry to get home.
NIALL …I’m telling ye, if they’d started McStay—
RUBEN Ye’ve been telling me that since pint number three.
NIALL Because I’m right.
RUBEN Because you’re pished.
do you think consensual non consenual play would have helped either of them with their issues?
I think Niall would’ve been into it both as a young man and in his community bicycle era. Obviously, the guys have to be much taller and stronger than him, ideally with dark hair and piercing blue eyes. This is probably one of his top 3 especially once he moves into the middle class stage of his life and he’s not on edge for his survival. Something about willingly giving up control to someone who fascinates and scares him in equal measure.
For Ruben, I’m not sure, anon. Maybe but I feel the need to add the disclaimer of only if he’s gotten some help and finds that he really enjoys it? With Niall, the person he trusts the most, he can explore this safely and most at ease. He’s still the top in this scenario, no amount of help is going to rid him of the need to be seen as hyper masculine. But once he has Niall on board I could see them experimenting with Dom Power Bottom Bambi and himbo-just-a-dick-sir-Pallister.