be who you desire. be what inspires you. and then decide what feels right or do you wanna keep it or eliminate it. 7 years ago when I was in high school, I wanted to be known. i wanted the teachers to know my name, my face like they knew my friends. i worked hard and yet nothing good could make them see me, really see me. when I switched to college, i made sure i don’t fail this time; I wanted to feel it so bad – this privilege of being known, being asked by your favourite teachers. and it did happen. and let me tell you it was hell for me. so much so that towards the end of my bachelor’s i had to rebel against my department head’s ways so that I fall out of his eyes. and when I switched to master’s I was back to being somewhere between visible and invisible. there are moments when I crave – god I wish my supervisor would be a little more informal with me but there are other times, BLISSFUL other times where I just enjoy being a backseater. AND I still get to be known – or at least in the process to be so – on my social media handles.
do you want another crazy example? for as long as I can remember, i’ve been obsessed about iPhones. idk something about the UI has always attracted me – even the emojis. i want it so bad. but I have one condition, it could only be bought with my own money – not a single penny from home. and this has become a very healthy motivation to work harder for my career. trust me, nothing else boosts me up so bad than to remember all of a sudden while bed rotting that I have to buy an iPhone. and for this purpose, i’ve kinda grown sour to people who have had it before me because it’s their parents’ money. in your 20s, I think, the more you grow older the more you start feeling guilty about asking for money at home. so here’s to hoping that I get an iPhone this year with my own money!
i wanted to be friends with the cool kid as a teen, i think I’ve always been the cool kid, no? here’s to all the cool kids in the making! do not stop. your hustle will be rewarded.
