Remote Access Requested SMAU

An IT AU, mainly lighthearted and slow burning.Stede Bonnet is a young professional new to office life and having trouble adjusting.He swiftly proves to be quite the polite menace of IT professional Edward Teach, much to his intrigue and fascination.

[dotrarsmau]

Stede Bonnet was ready for a fresh start, but he wasn’t sure Badminton Consultants was where he would find it. He placed a small box, filled with pens, post-its, an odd little fern, all the things one assumes are required for office work.

Stede was a writer at heart, but his heart, it seemed, had never quite been successful.

He chuckled at the thought. 

A unsuccessful heart, that could be his brand. 

His divorce had just been finalized, and with the added expense of his house boat, which he insisted was NOT related to any crisis of mid-life, he needed something more lucrative. Badminton Consultants was certainly that, lucrative. Plus his father had been able to get him the position on a favor.

This thought pricked his gut. 

Father Bonnet’s favors were never free.

He sat down in front of a fresh desktop, fingers hovering over the keys pensively. Cracking knuckles, and hovering again. 

He had no idea what his job ACTUALLY was. 

He had attended the four hour training, and watched all the videos. He taken copious amounts of notes,all which read like French to him now, a language he thought he understood, should know, but often failed in his attempts to use it in real time. 

Synergy?

Vertical Mobility?

Human capital?!

There was something to do with data entry..

Stede breathed and tapped his mouse, the cycling inform screen about “Early Enrollment Start Now”, faded into a lovely landscape. Maybe once he was logged in it would come back to him. 

Logged in.

Logged.

In.

The “user:”and “password:” entry boxes glared at him mockingly.

FUCK.

Stede laid his head on the desk and, after a few moments, opened his eyes to see a small card pinned to the otherwise barren walls of his cubicle..

[dotrarsmau]

3.

FIRST POST

PREVIOUS POST

[dotrarsmau]

2.

*ring ring*

“Hello, IT depo, what’s your problem?” a scripted and disinterested, though not unkind, voice came down the line. 

“I- well, this is rather embarrassing actually,” Stede struggled to find the words.

“I’m sure it is, but I’m ganna need you to tell me anyway,” the voice was warm, tone pitching a tad jovial now, amused.

Stede felt a warm flush growing on the back of his neck.

“Yes well—“

There was a crackle of a hand over the receiver, and a mumbling of voices, one much curter then the other, a quick back and forth.

“Ah shit, I mean, shit. Sorry, I forgot to say. I’m supposed to have you put in a ticket first,” Stede could hear their eyes rolling through the phone.

“I know, I know, you’re thinking ‘but I’m already on the line, isn’t that a waste of time?’ And yea it is—“

Another crackle.

A louder back and forth. 

“Uh, sorry mate, ‘it is the new policy to have all tickets put in through the new system to better track productivity, except in cases where that wouldn’t be possible,’” their tone was mocking, though Stede guessed it was directed towards the man with the curt voice in the background, and not him, right? 

Steve thought he heard the curt voiced man  yell out something like ‘twat’ in the background.

“Oh, okay, sorry about that, I’ll go do that first then.” 

An awkward laugh.

Warm cheeks.

*Click*

Stede hung up before the other man could reply. Already feeling like he’d messed up and he hadn’t even turned on his laptop yet. 

His laptop.

Right. Fuck. 

Stede sighed in resolve and picked up the receiver.

*ring ring ring*

“IT depo, what can I do you for now number 11?”

Stede blinked, caught off guard.

“Number-“

“Your office mate, damn you must be new huh?”

“A little bit,” the heat returned to Stede’s neck.

“You get your ticket number then?” 

There was a pause. The heat spread from Stede’s neck to his ears to his cheeks. 

“It’s my first day and I don’t remember how to log in.” He let out in tight one breath.

Another pause.

“To the company sharepoint..or,” the man let it hang in the air.

“My computer?” Stede’s voice was small and questioning.

“Ahhh- so you CAN’T put in a ticket then,” they said sass clearly directed toward the curt man.

“There would seem to be a flaw in that system, yes,” Stede offered sheepishly 

A warm round laugh poured down the line and Stede relaxed the tension he hadn’t noticed he was keeping in his shoulders.

“You’re funny 11, so what’s your name,” the voice came husky and deep over the receiver.

Why did his throat feel tight suddenly?

“I’m Stede, —what’s yours?” He managed, confused on why he felt like he’d suddenly forgot how words worked, and completely forgetting his purpose in calling.

Stede heard the same musically laugh crackle through the receiver. 

“I need your last too mate, for your username.” 

Stede wanted to fold into himself like a black hole.

“Right, right, right, of course, Stede Bonnet.” 

Why was it so warm in here, offices were supposed to be cold right?

“Right then, so your username should be s (dot) bonnet, type that in the top one,”

Ed listened to the slow deliberate key taps, reclining in his seat with his feet on the desk. 

S

.

B

O

N

N

E

T

Tab

“Okay, now your passcode should be Badminton1, but you’ll have to change it.”

Careful taps.

Was he hold his breath.

“I’m in!” Stede’s voice sang, a bit to keen for just having logged into a computer.

“Congrats, mate!” Ed teased playfully, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips, finding something deeply endearing about Stede’s excitability. 

He felt Izzy’s eyes on him and shook himself out of the thought, feet returning to the floor. 

“Now that your sorted, you’ll make sure to put that ticket in then, for ‘tracking purposes’?”

Izzy floated away, satisfied with Ed’s towing of the company life, and Ed added in a hushed tone,

“And if you need anything else dial 1-4-3, that’s my direct, so the boss won’t be such a downer.”

“Ahh gotcha, thanks again.” 

“It’s Ed by the way, the name’s Ed,”

Stede thumbed the card in his hand absently and two thoughts snapped together in his head. 

“Oh right! Edward Teach,” he laughed to himself.

Ed brow furrowed with amused confusion.

“You’ve heard of me then?” his voice was laced with intrigue.  

“I guess I have,” Stede replied. Surprised at the coyness of his tone, he overcorrected,

“I-uh found you card,” 

“Ah, well good thing you did I s’ppose. Ring if you need me 11.”

*Click*

First post