everything my mother didnt tell you
12th of august, 2016 she didnt tell you that i cry myself to sleep nearly every night because of the lack of you, that every morning i wake up with swollen, reddened eyes, saying 'ive dreamt about him again', that every now and then i pause and space out, no matter what im doing - little does she know, though, that certain activities, shows or objects remind me of you so much that i cant cope, and i need a moment to compose myself. she didnt tell you that sometimes i find things (music, incredible makeup, more incredible beauty vloggers, cats, pugs, stuff youd enjoy) and i only realise that i cant send it to you when ive already copied the url.. she didnt tell you that my eyes get cloudy whenever someone mentions your name around me. she didnt tell you that i act as if nothing changed at all, as if no time had passed at all.. as if i werent the one who caused this. as if i werent the one who created my own personal hell. i still do feel the way i told you i felt when we last spoke about our feelings.. i always will
