Our Double Decker Fixer-Upper

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Window Pain’s...

I mentioned in the spumoni room post that Jack and I both caught a gross flu virus that knocked us out for a few weeks. It really stuck around and drained us of our energy, so things started to slow down for us - project progress wise. Unfortunately, fixing a leaky skylight couldn’t wait for Jacks fever to pass...

An impending gross snow storm meant Jack had to (safely) climb out onto the roof, armed with some caulk, and seal up the leaky window. 

my hero. It did the trick. The outdoors stayed out for all the snow, sleet and rain.  -This was just the first of several window issues we have had to tackle at castle DDFU. One very windy morning, we woke up to a weird sound we couldn’t immediately identify. When we descended the stairs to embark upon our daily coffee rituals, I looked to my right into our band room (in the direction from which I was feeling a draft) to find the window completely missing from the frame. The weird sound we had heard was the wind ripping the window out of the wall. The whole pane was just laying on the ground outside of the house. Not broken #justchillin  Jack checked it out and announced that the window was missing the hardware to secure it to the frame (of course. Why? Who the hell knows) and one gust was all it took to knock it out.

So - Jack went down to the garage (the man’s lair) and made new hardware out of recycled aluminum flashing with some tin snips and creativity. He put that window back in it’s place and showed it who is the boss (move over Bruce Springsteen and Tony Danza)!

You had your time, Tony. 

This window was broken when we moved in Jack orders a new pane Jack picks up new pane, and tries to install New pane is wrong size Repeat order - wait and pick up replacement Jack puts pane in and uses a heavy plank to hold it in place while it dries - caulk ain’t nobody got time for dat! ..and Success!!  

There have been lots of fixes here and there around the house - some were obvious, and others we have discovered (luckily) by accident before they started an electrical fire. I’m fortunate enough to have a partner who is a little MacGyver and 007 rolled into one #mcdreamy sandwich, who can fix just about anything.

One day, jack will get his very own GIF. 

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One Fish, Two Fish, Old Fish, New (to us)  Fish

Meet Hatchet and Yukon. These two hooligans were orphaned by the previous owners. Yes, along with a lot of other junk the sellers left behind for us (cars, car parts, a bike, tools, etc) they also abandoned their fishes. Jack even asked them if they were coming back for them, and they gave us a big fat nope. Nice, huh? Anyway, they are now our official mascots for this double decker fixer-upper. We have become pretty attached to these homies.

One big happy family over here.

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chapter · three

If These Walls Could Talk - They Would Scream

I scream, you scream, we all scream when our walls resemble spumoni ice cream.

That’s how that rhyme goes, right? Okay, I didn’t scream when I saw the walls of our guest bedroom. It was more like an ‘Oh my god’ mouthed in disgust. Of all the hideousness of all the wall colors in this house, this one took the ice cream cake. When Jack asked ‘which room do you want to paint first?’ My answer was delivered swiftly with gusto: THE SPUMONI ROOM.

Admit it - you hardly noticed that I slipped a picture of actual Spumoni into this collage. There was nothing that looked appetizing about this room. Trust me.

The other walls were solid mint green (except for the smudges of dirt and other muck. Because, obviously) and there were some budding artists doodles here and there in permanent marker. 

This had been the previous owners children’s bedroom, and the nasty stuff I cleaned out of here rivaled the kitchen in degrees of awful. I don’t know what the muck I cleaned out of the built in shelf was, and I hope I never do. 

After all the cleaning, we had to fill the holes and cracks, sand the walls, sweep and vacuum to prep for priming.  One of the walls must have had a shelf or bookcase that had been removed at one point, and it left behind a funky wall we tried our best to patch up.

The pink paint slopped in stripes on the wall would be a challenge to cover up, but we were confident that Kilz primer could kill anything. First, it snuffed out the gag worthy smell in this room (the smelliest of the smelly rooms) - it would smother that pepto pink.

We painted two coats of primer on the pink walls

Oh, hi there! Jack paints the crawl space in the closet

Priming that nook was the last step before we painted! We got some brand spankin’ new brushes to get the job done! But just as we were nearing the finish line, we were infected by the plague…

Okay fine, it wasn’t the plague, but it was some nasty flu. It took the enthusiasm out of the painting and slowed us both down for several weeks. I did manage to paint the room while battling exhaustion, with the help of several liters a few cups of strong coffee and ABBA (Swedish pop gives me life!) on repeat - but it was tough.

you can dance, you can jive…

and then crash #iwasthispug

My exhaustion did make me kind of sloppy. I ended up with a lot of paint on my clothes and in my hair. Meh #tootiredtocare #ileftthehouselikethis

Success! We painted this room with BEHR PRO i100 Interior, Dead Flat No.110 in Swiss Coffee. We bought a five gallon bucket of this stuff because we planned on using it in a few rooms. It is a really heavenly, soft white. This guest room will feel like a very comfortable and tranquil space once I’m through setting it up.  On to the next room. Ain’t no rest for the wicked, or the wicked tired.

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chapter · two

Kitchen Nightmares 

Proceed with caution; the images you are about to see are graphic and may not be suitable for younger viewers, people who are seriously grossed out by dirty kitchens, or those who would like to remain blissfully unaware.  Day one flashback - the kitchen

The outside of the cabinets were bad enough, but the inside held even more disgusting surprises

Every inch, every crevasse, every nook, and every wall was coated with dirt, grease and/or grime. Doors were barely holding on for dear life by their hinges, and the sink and dishwasher still contained dirty cups and plates (along with unidentifiable sludge) that had been abandoned. Nothing short of some strong chemicals (mostly bleach) and serious elbow grease would get this kitchen even close to white again.  That blue bucket and those pink gloves pictured above were my partners in grime crime for the five hours it took me to clean the cabinets, alone. 

My reaction when Jack opened this refrigerator:

And when we tried to turn on the stove:

So, yeah. After a really brief discussion, we decided to replace the stove and fridge.  Because we plan on a total kitchen re-model down the line, we didn’t want to buy expensive replacements for either appliance without knowing what the eventual layout will be. Jack was able to find a used fridge and stove on Craigslist for a bargain price - both were in fantastic condition! 

Our friend Shane came by to help dispose of the old refrigerator and stove, and I cleaned up the empty spaces to prep them for their replacements. The picture of where the stove was is after I cleaned it. It was practically black before I scrubbed it. The grease that was on the wall ceased to come off with every cleaning combo of abrasives and chemicals I threw at it, so we ultimately had to scrape the paint off the wall because we couldn't get it off.

Our truck also broke down when the guys went to pick up the fridge. A tow truck pulled into our driveway with our truck and fridge strapped into the bed. At least we had already picked up the stove!

Functional and squeaky clean stove and fridge in a not-so-beautiful (but at least clean) kitchen.  All in all, it took me about ten hours to clean this kitchen. I don’t have pictures of the disgusting stuff I scraped out of and off of the lazy Susan, or the tops of the cabinets which were (no exaggeration) black, or some of the other unbelievable filth I managed to find; but believe me when I tell you that this was a truly dirty job.  It was the worst room to clean. Hands down.  This kitchen needs some beautification - but that is going to have to wait. We got some gross bathrooms to clean first. 

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pacing the floors…

We still had three rooms with floors to paint; the guest bed (AKA the Spumoni room. Don’t worry, you’ll see why we call it that) the band room, and the living room. We started with the guest bed

Behr Lo-Luster Porch & Patio Floor Paint in Mocha Accent for the guest bedroom floor

We are very lucky to have wonderful friends who have been willing to come and do some dirty jobs with us! Jared came over to help, and he brought some cigars to celebrate our new adventure.

Thanks for helping pull up staples and yank out nails, Jared!  After we scraped, filled and swept; we taped off the stairwell, outlets, windows and doors to prevent the dust from spreading everywhere while we sanded. We then headed to Home Depot and picked up a rented Square Buff Floor Sander to get the job done. We were only going to have the sander for about three hours or so, which meant we had to work quickly. Unfortunately, we ran into a snag only a few minutes into the job. Although we bought a few extra sanding sheets to secure on the pads, the adhesive on them was pretty much useless. They came off within minutes of usage. Quick like a bunny, I hoped in the car and made a visit to our local True Value shop, where I bought a can of adhesive spray - hoping that would fix the problem. Luckily, it worked like a charm. We each took turns with the sander, had a couple of beers, and cranked it out in a few hours!

We brought the sander back, came home and did a very thorough sweeping and vacuuming to prep for paint. We were primed to, well, prime!

the band room. primed then painted with Behr Lo-Luster Porch & Patio Floor Paint in Rich Brown

the living room primed

Behr Lo-Luster Porch & Patio Floor Paint in Mocha Accent makes another appearance for the living room floors

We primed both rooms the first night, applied a second coat the next day, followed by a coat of paint that evening, and another coat the following day. 

The floors are officially done!! Celebrate!

This celebration will be short lived, though. The fun has just begun, kittens. 

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chapter · one

Ooh That Smell!!

Holy hell, did those carpets smell. I want to hold my nose just remembering it. It was like, wet dog and urine. It.was.god.awful.

The very first thing we did after signing papers, was come back to the house and rip out those smelly, nasty, filthy carpets! We also bought a lot of air freshener at Walmart.

It was stinky, but satisfying. That’s me chiseling out the tiles that existed in the spot between that weird built in shelf and the stairs. Speaking of that built in shelf; it was pulverized by a sledgehammer shortly after this photo was taken. The second most satisfying part of the day.

Because Jack and I plan on putting down hardwood floors in the not-too-distant future, we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on temporary flooring. The problem was that most of the house; the living room, sun room, guest bedroom, master bedroom and laundry room - all had carpeting we had to toss. Our temporary DIY solution? Sand the sub floor and paint it with porch paint. 

Yeah, it would be a big job.

After the carpets were gone, we had to go through and pull out allll the staples that were in the floors (there were tons of them), set the nails, fill the cracks and tough spots, vacuum, and sweep before we could begin to sand. The top left photo in the collage is the floor in the sun band room, and was the most difficult to get into shape for sanding. This room originally had hard tiles in it (because it was a hot tub room when the house was built. Like so many other things in this humble abode, it was a very rad 80′s thing we get to figure out how to work around) and the grout that was under the carpet was awful to get up. Jack made it happen after many attempts with different tools (a belt sander with a 15 grit belt on it was the most efficient) and a lot of elbow grease. And swearing.

lunch break by the wood stove in the dining room

Jack sands the entire top floor master bedroom with a belt sander in about six hours, over two days. Like a boss.

We decided it was best to finish the upstairs floor first, so we could finally move in and sleep here. So Jack sanded the top floor by hand; which took a long time and was tedious. It also kicked up a serious amount of wood dust (Long story short, you can do this kind of thing by hand, but a rented drum sander will be well worth it) which was difficult to clean up. Once that was done, we primed and then painted the floors!

the laundry room

the master bedroom. Jeeves, our Roomba explores after the paint is dry..

We did two coats of Kilz primer on the floors, followed by two coats of Behr Lo-Luster Porch & Patio Floor Paint in Mocha Accent (laundry room) and Rich Brown (Master). We had a bit of what we were calling ‘blooming’ in the paint after it dried. You can kind of see it in the picture of the master bedroom floor (that chocolate, delicious looking, floor) where some white blotchy patches appear. We aren’t sure if it was primer coming though the paint, or if it was water stains in the wood. Either way, it did go away after a few mop sessions.

After we let the paint dry for a few days, we moved our bed in! It now officially started to feel like our house.

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pro·logue

Tale of a Short Sale; let us begin with a walk through...

Part One:

Jack finds a house he likes. He can see beyond alllll the dirt...

 and the junk.

And the ugly stuff...

...to find the potential this house has to be transformed back into a beautiful home.

These are Jack’s photos from his first walk through of the property. There are a lot more photos of junk piles on the outside of the house I didn’t include here, and even more garbage in the large garage and shed that aren’t pictured. The outside resembled a junk yard more than anything else.

It would take a full six month lapse in time between when Jack put in an official offer on the house, to when he was able to sign ownership papers. During that time, the people who were living here continued to neglect the property and let more junk pile up. Obviously. Because they loved trash.

Tale of a Short Sale; the waiting is not the hardest part…

Part Two:

So, Jack put in an offer on the house, and we waited...

...and waited...and waited, until I thought I would lose whatever marbles I have left.

Six months felt like forever, and there was a lot of back and forth with the bank and other nonsense. Jack even went over to the house with the owners still living there (with permission) and filled two giant dumpsters with their trash that was on the property by himself. Closing wouldn’t be possible unless the junk piles were removed, so Jack rolled up his sleeves (and opened his wallet to pay for the dumpsters) and made it happen. 

Finally, we made it to passing papers day! Yay!

Jack inks the deal. Official home owner!

Now the real work begins...

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What Does it Mean to Buy a House Short Sale?

I think that while most people get the gist of this, many folks are confused about the details. So just in case you are someone who is considering buying a short sale house, let’s get some clarity on the definition...

Wikipedia Definition of a Short Sale Home:

A short sale is a sale of real estate in which the net proceeds from selling the property will fall short of the debts secured by liens against the property. In this case, if all lien holders agree to accept less than the amount owed on the debt, a sale of the property can be accomplished.

Sure.

OUR Definition of a Short Sale Home:

A short sale is a sale of real estate in which the current home owners stop giving any sort of a damn about maintaining the house and leave all their crap behind for you to clean up if you buy it. You can also expect to wait half a year before you can even begin to embark on your new journey of fixing all the stuff they let go to hell.

Yep.

I think it’s important to know all sides of this endeavor. You might save a lot of money by purchasing short sale; but that doesn’t mean it ain’t gonna cost ya! Stick around, and you will see what I mean. (...and yes. In my mind, I am Wonder Woman.) - K

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Welcome to our blog!  We are Krista and Jack, and this is the place where we will be documenting our saga of fixing up a short sale purchased house. Jack and I will be doing almost all of the repairs and design ourselves, because we like this DIY stuff! And we have skills! It isn’t just an excuse to don painting overalls and safety glasses (we do look pretty fly in those, though. And those dust masks? Two words: mysterious & seductive). Despite the fact that we have never done this whole owning a home thing before, we have dived in! Follow us to witness all our blood (both figurative and literal), sweat, and tears. You might find inspiration for your own DIY creation after seeing one of ours, or it could make you eternally grateful that this crap palace fixer upper isn’t yours. Either way, we hope you find these chronicles entertaining. - K