I wouldn't even call it a hiatus because I think I just need a few days. I'd been spending so much time writing that one ateez fic and then changkyun's news hit me like a truck...
I support changkyun 💜 100% and am happy that he decided to move on from starshit but relieved that he is still going to participate in monsta x activities ♡
But... thinking that he won't be living with kihyun and minhyuk, thinking that he won't see the other members as often unless they get together for album work, thinking about all kinds of shit I don't know for sure or stuff that never happened (lol) I'm a little sad. Sad but proud. Sad but relieved. Sad but happy.
Idk is this how a mother feels when her child is growing up lol
Anyway I can't give a definite answer when I'll be back with the new chapter of follow me but I'll be lurking! And I'll definitely be back to writing and drafting the new chapter within a few days :)
before anyone asks, no, I am not moving, I am not deleting this blog, I am not retiring from writing for monsta x.
ya girl is still working hard writing for follow me and still has tons of ideas she wants to write for the monsta x boys so don’t worry!!
also trying to revamp the web version of the blog so if anyone is using the desktop version of tumblr, things may be looking funky or “lost” but it’ll soon all be finalized~
anyway, I’ll be posting the first chapter of a new series for ateez soon (and by soon, I mean like tomorrow night probably lol) so it’ll be great if you can give the blog a follow and look out for the new chapter! :)
I know this will be disappointing for some (or disappointed but not surprised?), but I’ve officially decided to drop «Design In Her Mind» and «Meet You With The Seasons». Frankly, I have a skeleton/outline of DIHM but I just lost motivation to complete it... and I planned to do 2 more chapters for MYWTS but had no outline. Maybe down the line I will decide to pick DIHM again... but no guarantees (シ_ _)シ
It had been at least half an hour since the doctor said that Eunjoo would wake up.
It was clear that the doctor seemed to know Eunjoo at first glance, and frankly, Shownu should have realized it when the two officers drove a little further for a smaller hospital rather than the university hospital that was closer. The doctor, a middle aged woman, threw her hands up in the air and grumbled, “이래서 이 일 빨리 접으라고 했는데…” (Translation: “This is why I said to quit this job…”) However, when she realized Shownu was in earshot, watching Eunjoo being transferred onto the bed, her expression quickly cooled down. She had him ushered out while she whispered to the male officer.
“저 사람 혹시 연예인 아니야? 지금 연예인 보호하다가 이렇게 다친거야?” (Translation: “Isn’t he a celebrity? Did she just get hurt while protecting that celebrity?”)
“어.. 윤쌤 그게 아니라, 잠깐…” (Translation: “Oh… Dr. Yoon, that’s not it, hold on…”)
And before the male idol could hear the rest of their conversation, the curtains were closed on him, with the whispers even softer than before.
Once they were done speaking, the male officer left after explaining to Shownu that Eunjoo just needed a “retouching” on her stitches. ‘리터칭… 단어 선택이 참…’ (Translation: ‘Retouching… what a choice of words…’) After what felt like a couple of hours (but in reality only twenty minutes), the doctor emerged from the curtains and explained that Eunjoo would wake up soon.
“깨어나면 은주가 하고싶은데로 해요.” (Translation: “When she wakes up, just do whatever Eunjoo wants to do.”) She left after saying that, leaving Shownu confused.
But when Eunjoo stirred awake, he understood.
Her eyes slowly opened. At first, it looked like her eyes were barely adjusting to the bright hospital lights. With the dark circles under her eyes, her eyes shifted around rapidly, making her look very, very disoriented. He assumed that she would continue to be disoriented for a while, but he froze in shock when she bolted up from the bed.
“뭐… 어디… 지금…?” (Translation: “What… where… right now…?”) Shownu could only stutter, with his arms outreached towards her.
Her eyes glazed over him, as if they didn’t register his presence. As if he wasn’t blocking her way, Eunjoo’s legs still swung over the bed. Before Shownu could stop her, her hands reached for the needle in her arm and ripped the IV off her.
“그거 그렇게–” (Translation: “You can’t just–”) His voice raised, louder than he expected. But he wanted to come off firm, so he took steps forward and placed a hand on her shoulder.
Only then did she seem to respond to his presence.
“비켜.” (Translation: “Move.3”)
Her voice was rough, like thick gravel – as if she had been yelling for hours. Not to mention her demeanor came off aggressive and something else. He was used to her cold expression and cold shoulder, but not eyes that were filled with so much… panic. Her words were like a reflection of whatever she was feeling, deflecting.
His hand dropped from her shoulder, and instantly, she took it as a sign that he was following her words. She pushed him aside roughly and staggered away.
Without turning around, Shownu asked, “어디 가시는 거예요?” (Translation: “Where are you going?”)
“...” The shuffling of her boots stopped.
“그래도 하루라도 더 있는게–” (Translation: “You should stay at least one more day–”)
“병원 싫어요.” (Translation: “I don’t like hospitals.4”) Her quiet mutter almost went unheard. But he did manage to hear her words, making him walk towards her. He thought he could switch her mind about leaving the hospital so soon. After all, it was just a precaution – what if she passed out when they got back to his dorm?
But one look at her expression made Shownu halt. Whatever words he had planned to say to convince her dropped instantly. Her eyes were closed, but everything else told him how much she didn’t want to be there. Hands were clenched in tight fists, body trembling and sweat rolling down the sides of her face. Staring down at her, he didn’t know what to make of the sight of the once so strong and prideful detective. She didn’t even seem to realize that she was showing the male idol such a weak state.
‘어떡하지…’ (Translation: ‘What should I do…’)
“가도 돼요.” (Translation: “She can leave.”)
Whipping his head around, he saw the female doctor who treated Eunjoo standing behind them a few steps away. She continued, “하고 싶은 대로 하시라고 했죠?” (Translation: “Didn’t I say to let her do whatever she wants?”)
Her words hung in the air for a moment. It made the cogs in Shownu’s memory turn, and he realized that yes, indeed, the doctor mentioned that once Eunjoo wakes up, he should follow what Eunjoo wanted. Only then did he realize the doctor knew how Eunjoo would react waking up at the hospital.
“뭐.. 알아서 할거라고 믿고 요번건은 그냥 조심하지 않아서 그런거라고 두지. 우주한테 연락했으니 좀 기다려 봐.” (Translation: “Well… I believe she can take care of herself and that this was just a one time event of being careless. I’ve contacted Wooju so wait a bit.”) Then the doctor walked off coolly.
As if he was cued, the male officer from before walked through the hospital doors and approached Eunjoo. He looked concerned for her, almost looking sick himself, but composed himself when he looked up at Shownu. “데려다 드릴게요. 언른 타세요.” (Translation: “I will take you back. Hurry on.”)
The drive back to Shownu’s dorm was mostly quiet. The male officer, who Shownu found out was named Wooju, let the two know that he talked with Shownu’s manager to temporarily rent an empty studio apartment. Since Shownu’s place had now become a crime scene, especially with the broken balcony door, the place was closed off and only allowed for officers and inspectors.
Eunjoo stayed silent throughout this short conversation, making Shownu guess that she would be dropped off at her place after they dropped Shownu off.
Yet when he hopped out of the car, he looked at both officers in confusion.
“왜… 둘다 내리세요?” (Translation: “Why… are you both getting off?”)
Wooju had Eunjoo’s arm hung around his neck as she hobbled out of the car. The young male officer looked up at Shownu and with a similar expression, he replied matter-of-factly, “저희도 여기 있을 거든요.” (Translation: “Because we’re also staying here.”) He took two steps towards the entrance before Wooju turned around. “아 맞다 – 제 가방 좀 부탁할게요.” (Translation: “Oh right – can you help me with my bag?”)
Glancing at the back seat, Shownu noticed a large backpack – ‘잠깐.. 지금 뭐가 움직인 것 같은데..’ (Translation: ‘Wait.. something just moved..’) His hands twitched as it moved to open the main component(?) of the backpack and nearly jumped back.
*Meow!*
A small gray cat poked its head out while meowing for its life. He stared down at it for a moment, not sure if the male officer had really stuffed a live animal in his backpack and for how long. But he couldn’t be still for long – the kitten had started to crawl out of the small opening.
“악! 안돼!” (Translation: “Ack! No!”) His hands scrambled to block the kitten and softly placed it back in the backpack before zipping it shut. As careful as he possibly could be, Shownu carried the backpack in his arms instead of slinging it on his back and speed walked indoors.
Once he keyed in, he quickly set the backpack down and opened it up again. Instantly, the gray kitten leaped out and started grooming itself. He smiled down at it before looking at his surroundings. It was a new place, but the structure was overall similar to his dorm’s. It was located somewhat in between his old dorm and the members’ new dorm, so it was convenient for the managers. Both of his managers let Shownu know that they already stocked up with all the essentials for both Eunjoo and Shownu, and would drop by the next day if they needed anything else.
“--선배한테 말 하지마.” (Translation: “--don’t tell Taeyong[-sunbae].”)
Shownu squinted his eyes, trying to concentrate on the voices coming from the smaller of the two bedrooms.
“알지… 말 해서 좋을거 없는건 나도 알아 – 용선배가 여기까지 오는거? 충분히 가능해.” (Translation: “Of course… I know nothing good will come out of telling him – like coming all the way here? Very possible.”)
The male idol pondered over the name “용선배” (Translation: “Taeyong[-sunbae]”) as he could faintly hear Eunjoo sigh. They didn’t seem too fond of this senior who seemed… overbearing? He couldn’t put a finger on it yet.
She replied in a soft voice, shy of a whisper, “넌 이제 가도 돼. 약먹었으니까 한숨 자면 다 나아질거야.” (Translation: “You can go now. I took my medication and I’ll be better after I sleep.”)
This time, Shownu could hear Wooju sigh. Not too long after, he saw the male officer tip-toe out of the room and slowly close the door.
“물이라도 드릴가요?“ (Translation: “Would you like some water?”) Shownu asked.
Their eyes met and Wooju nodded quietly, walking towards the dining table.
With swift hands, Shownu quietly poured some water in a single stream, trying his best to not make too much sound. When he turned around to hand the mug to the male officer, he noticed the distress through the hands covering his face. As he placed the mug down in front of him, Shownu asked, “경– 한경위님은 안 좋으세요?” (Translation: “Lieu– is Lieutenant Han not doing well?”)
Wooju sighed into his hands. His voice was muffled but he replied without changing his position. “아니요, 누나는 괜찮아요. 열이 조금 있는것 같은데 한숨 자면 괜찮을 것 같데요. 그냥… 다른게 골치 아프게 됐어요.” (Translation: “No, she’s fine. She has a slight fever but she said she’ll be fine after sleeping. It’s just… there’s something else that’s a bit troublesome.”)
“제 사건에 대해서요?” (Translation: “About my case?”) Shownu wondered if he should even pry into the issue that the male officer had clearly not explained the first time. He was also not very good at asking things in a roundabout way, but his curiosity outweighed his logic this time.
The hands slowly dropped to the table and Wooju’s fingers fiddled with the handle of the mug in front of him. He squirmed a little, as if he was debating on whether or not he should say. He muttered, “누나가 안 좋아할텐데… 음…” (Translation: “Mm… She won’t like it…”)
“아.. 기밀 정보라면 안 물을게요.” (Translation: “Oh… if it’s confidential information, I won’t ask about it.”) Shownu gave a small smile, giving up on the subject right away, before he switched topics. “근데 경위님하고 되게 친하시네요… 거의 친 남매처럼 보여요.” (Translation: “You seem really close with Lieutenant Han… almost like siblings.”)
Wooju’s eyes widened with surprise, making Shownu think he overstepped his boundaries and said something terribly wrong. But his lips stretched into a wide, toothy smile. He looked a little shy but not necessarily embarrassed or uncomfortable.
“누나는… 저한테 ‘엄마’같은 존재이에요.” (Translation: “She’s… like a mother figure to me.”)
.
.
.
TBC
a/n: 3 informal language; 4 switched back to formal/polite language
i’m so sorry for no updates!!! it’s because i’m working on three (LOL) additional fics that are in the same “universe” (is it an AU if it’s in the future??)… but the next part for follow me will come by the end of this week at the latest!!
i’m so sorry for no updates!!! it’s because i’m working on three (LOL) additional fics that are in the same “universe” (is it an AU if it’s in the future??)... but the next part for follow me will come by the end of this week at the latest!!
“저기… 음… 혹시 수면제 있어요? 아니면… 필요할것 같으면 안에 들어가서 처방 받으시겠어요?” (Translation: “Uh… um… do you maybe have sleeping pills? Or… if you think you need them, would you like to go in and get a prescription?”)
“...?”
“그게… 은주가 그러던데요? 그… 고양이 사건 때문에 손현우님 불면증 생긴것 같다고… 아니면 됐고요.” (Translation: “Well… Eunjoo kind of mentioned that… the cat incident [you] seemed to have caused insomnia for you… I mean, if not, then whatever.”)
“... 그랬어요?” (Translation: “... Really?”)
“네. 아, 혹시 비밀이었어요? 쯧. 은주 귀가 좀 밝아요. 뭐, 이 직업있는 사람들은 다 그런데, 걔는 유독 더 그래요.” (Translation: “Yes. Oh, was it perhaps a secret? Tsk. Eunjoo has good hearing. Well, everyone in this field is like that, but she’s especially like that.”)
He tried to run after her as soon as she left. But his feet wouldn’t move past the doorway of his place.
The managers told Shownu to not step a foot out of the dorm, stay indoors, no matter what. They limited his time with the other members, fearful that the stalking may affect the members as well. The agency even forbade Shownu from going to his personal studio temporarily, which meant he couldn’t work out… and get his mind off of the current situation.
So he stood frozen with one arm holding the front door open and his feet glued to the floor. His mind was racing – he knew Eunjoo would be pissed again if he ran after her with worry. It was also clear in his mind that it was especially unsafe for him. Even so, he was still worried about Eunjoo’s shoulder wound that hasn't healed completely.
She seemed to care for the wound and replace her bandage when she was sure he was sleeping in his room. Unfortunately, due to the increase in disturbing events, Shownu tossed and turned in his bed often. Unable to sleep for more than two hours, he would wake up multiple times throughout the night. It almost became a habit for him to wake up, get up to get some water, but hear soft and short groans of pain coming from the living room. He would stand with one hand on his door handle, unable to open it and get water like nothing’s wrong. He could only helplessly stand against the door until the sounds disappeared, and only then, would he walk back to his bed to try to fall asleep again.
Remembering those nights again, Shownu decided to look for her after all.
And so he ran.
He sprinted past the main streets and into the alleys.
Even if he couldn’t hear footsteps running or panting from running, he could still faintly hear a metallic scraping sound. And that was the only thing that tipped him off – Eunjoo was probably chasing after the same sound.
When he discovered her, he realized he only had a fraction of a second to decide what to do and where to go. Shownu could see her figure hunched – she was all tensed up – and his mind clicked when he saw her shift into a defensive stance.
His arms swiftly reached out for her. One hand wrapped around her mouth to muffle her surprise, while the other pulled her body close, as he stepped backwards into a narrow alley on the side. Her body instantly tensed up, but as soon as they were hidden by the tall walls and only the most limited light was shining upon them, Shownu showed his face to Eunjoo. And once she recognized him, he thought of letting go quietly.
Except, under the dimmest, almost non-existent, light they had, he could still see her wild anger flare up in her eyes. Eunjoo’s arms went up to throw him off of her, instantly knocking his hand off of her mouth, while Shownu panicked. After all, they were still almost right next to the suspects. Without thinking, his arms roughly pulled her back – accidentally slamming her against the cold brick wall.
“윽…” (Translation: “Urgh…”)
In the dead silent night when they were being extra careful to not get caught, Eunjoo’s pained groan stood out like a pencil dropping in an empty library.
‘제발… 그냥 가라… 제발 가…’ (Translation: ‘Please… just go…. Please leave….’) Shownu chanted in his mind.
Nevertheless, the sound of gravel being crushed and twisted, as if heavy shoes pivoted on small rocks, sent chills up Shownu's spine.
“뭐지 진짜?” (Translation: “Really, what was that?”)
In the darkness, Shownu could see a glint in Eunjoo’s eyes, and somehow he just knew that she would pretend like she wasn’t hurt and step forward in front of them.
Her hands attempted to push him away, just as he predicted. This time, however, he didn’t budge. In fact, the male idol stood firm and stared down at the officer. He could faintly see the protruded, frowning eyebrows and the shadows of her lips turned upside down.
With only the thought that he had to divert Eunjoo’s attention away from her discomfort while staying quiet, one hand reached down and over to her hand. He could sense her flinch at his touch, but he quickly raised his other hand to his mouth and motioned her to stay quiet. He couldn’t exactly read her expression, but she did indeed stay silent and still as his hand folded over her hand.
“고양이였나? 그냥 가자.” (Translation: “Maybe it was a cat? Let’s just go.”) The man said. His footsteps started to get farther away.
The female voice muttered, “고양이 싫은데…” (Translation: “I hate cats…”) Her steps moved away as well.
As the sounds of their voices and footsteps started to dissipate, Shownu became more aware of the sounds coming from Eunjoo – her erratic breathing and almost strained pants for air. He hadn’t noticed before due to sheer panic, but he suddenly realized how sweaty her hand was in his hand… was that also his sweat because he was anxious? He tried to look down into her eyes, but her head was tilted downwards.
Knowing he couldn’t utter a word for fear that the suspects might turn back around again, he squeezed her hand lightly.
No response.
Another light squeeze.
Eunjoo finally raised her head and Shownu’s heart nearly leapt out of his body. She had those same fiery eyes from that night they argued but the hair framing her face stuck to her face. He could see the dimmest light reflected on the sweat rolling down the sides of her cheeks.
His eyes darted around and he tried to squint his ears, if that was even possible, to hear if there was anyone around. After all, the other members always told Shownu how much he sucked at whispering, that his whispers sounded both loud and soft at the same time, that he sounded like a bear growling a guttural sound. In the time he was contemplating, his ears twitched when they heard the faint sound of sirens.
*Fwump*
‘아… 들었구나…’ (Translation: ‘Ah… [she] heard it too…’) he thought.
Eunjoo had yanked her hand out of his hand and shoved him with probably all her remaining strength, making him hit the other wall of the alley lightly. As if she lost all her strength, she slowly slid down her side of the wall with one hand over her shoulder.
The sirens sounded closer and Shownu finally asked quietly, “괜찮으세요?” (Translation: “Are you okay?”)
However, before she even uttered a sound, he saw her remove her hand from her shoulder. She winced and he could see something wet shining on her fingertips.
Shit.
“누나!!” (Translation: “Eunjoo[-noona]!!”)
Footsteps closed in and Shownu looked at the two people who ran into the alley with flashlights. He recognized the male officer as the one who ran Eunjoo’s errands. The one she didn’t avoid. The other, a female officer he didn’t recognize, asked rapidly, “뭐야, 너 어떻게 된거야?? 무슨 상황이야?” (Translation: “What the, what happened to you?? What’s the situation?”)
“윽… 혹시 올때 수상한 사람들 못 봤어? 남자 한명… 하고 여자… 한명.” (Translation: “Ugh… did you guys see any suspicious people on your way here? One man… and one… female.”) Eunjoo asked, words thrown out in between her irregular breathing.
The two officers looked at each other with worry before both shaking their heads.
Eunjoo muttered, “아… 씨발.. 부.. 분명히… 그 여자 목소리 어디서 들어봤..는데…” (Translation: “Ah… fuck.. I could.. Could have sworn… I heard that.. woman’s voice before…”) The female officer quickly took out her phone and seemed to request for additional backup to search the area and request for nearby CCTV. Strangely enough, they didn’t seem to realize that Eunjoo’s words started to stutter more and before the other officers could ask her any questions, Shownu saw her body slump to the side.
“어–!!” (Translation: “Hey–!!”) Shownu shouted, with one finger pointing towards Eunjoo.
The male officer immediately crouched to Eunjoo’s side. “누나!! 정신차려봐!!” (Translation: “[Noona]!! Wake up!!”)
The other officer also rushed to Eunjoo, but was on the phone again. “차 한대 여기로 보내. 지금 은주 병원으로 데리고 가야해.” (Translation: “Send a car here. We need to take Eunjoo to the hospital right now.”) She looked briefly up at Shownu before she answered the person on the call, “아니, 팀장님에게 보고드려 – 의뢰인은 무사하다고… 태용선배에겐 내가 이따가 말 할테니까 넌 팀장님한테 바로 전화 해.” (Translation: “No, report to Team Leader [Baek] that the client is safe… I’ll tell Tae-yong[-sunbae] later so you just call Team Leader [Baek] right away.”)
Just as she hung up, they heard a siren approach closer and tires squeaking past through the gravel. Headlights shone near the closest entrance of their alley and the male officer took it as his cue to pull Eunjoo’s arms over his shoulders and around his neck. “헙!” (Translation: “Oof!”) As he stood, he looped each of his arms around her legs to carry her safely on his back.
The other officer warned him to set her down in the car carefully before turning to Shownu. Her eyes met his, but he wanted to turn away from them. They weren’t as cold as Eunjoo’s but they weren’t welcoming either. Her facial expression showed no signs of sympathy or warmth. He wasn’t sure if her eyes meant to throw daggers at him or if she just normally looked like that in the dark. She was rigid even as she motioned him to get into the car wordlessly.
With all senses heightened, Eunjoo stayed aware of her surroundings ever since the kitten incident. She barely slept a couple of hours each night, and most of her time was spent either on calls with Wooju and Team Leader Baek or observing the outside through the living room window. Since Manager Seo was even more spooked by the recent situation, Eunjoo stayed over two nights straight (even though the promised three nights per week was already completed). Not just that… but the way the male idol reacted perturbed her as well. Apparently, this wasn’t the first time they received a dead animal – the agency just disposed of it without ever showing it to Shownu. As such, it was the first time Shownu personally received such a horrific, so-called “gift”.
In the last 48 hours or so, the team was able to locate the last remaining kitten, which was a miracle almost. He was tucked away in between trash bags, almost lifeless, but mewled for life right when Wooju passed by. Team Leader Baek was able to narrow down the radius of the incidents, as he found random knife marks on corners, walls and fences – it seemed as though it was with one or two of the same knives.
But that was it.
They checked all the CCTVs in the neighborhood, but the perpetrators knew which alleys didn’t have cameras. The team went through all the alleyways that had knife marks with forensic teams to decipher any further clues, but there were so many marks made that it was hard to tell when they occurred. More often than not, the marks were made over and over again in the same spot sometimes, but there seemed to be no pattern whatsoever.
There was no other lead. The team was frustrated and stumped. Without any more leads, they couldn’t act on any of the ideas and strategies they had. It hurt to think about how blind and lost she was compared to the culprit.
Looking down at her watch, Eunjoo watched the second hand tick by. It was dead into the night – almost an hour past midnight. She sat on the hardwood floor against the wall next to the balcony, with just a small table lamp flickering light over her laptop. Slowly closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of her watch. It was calming, to hear the repeated sound. She could just barely hear the sounds of leaves rustling outside, and otherwise, it was mostly a quiet time.
The managers had work to finish in the office, so they left Shownu in Eunjoo’s hands. When it was just the two of them, it was quiet. They hardly exchanged any words other than her debrief of any updates provided by the team, and neither made an effort to make small talk. She hardly had time to sleep, which meant she conserved energy by letting go of whatever bothered her before and staying calm. On the other hand, Shownu seemed to be detached from everything and everyone after receiving the dead animal. He stopped making efforts to talk with her like before. He rarely seemed to talk with his members, and she wasn’t sure how often he was interacting with fans online. It was a little worrisome.
*CRASH*
All thoughts halted.
Her eyes shut tightly at the sound of the impact. The sound of glass shattering rang loudly, and Eunjoo soon heard neighbors waking up.
“저거 무슨 소리였어?” (Translation: “What was that sound?”)
“도둑인가…?” (Translation: “Is it a burglar…?”)
When her eyes opened again, she first saw shards of glass scattered across the hardwood floor. The flickering light of her lamp bounced off the pieces, making it easy to see what had crashed through. At the same time, she also saw a pair of feet approach the glass.
“오지마세요.” (Translation: “Don’t come here.”) She sternly ordered.
As she slowly got up, Eunjoo realized someone had thrown a large brick at the balcony, and the sliding door shattered instantly from the impact. However, what caught her eye especially was the paper taped on the brick.
“우리 현우한테서 떨어져!” (Translation: “Get away from my Hyunwoo!”)
For a moment, she just stared at the brick. It was really a split second, and before Shownu could react, Eunjoo left the brick on the floor and sprinted out the door.
She could just barely hear Shownu call out to her as she ran through the hallways – “경위님, 안돼요! … 한은주씨!!” (Translation: “Lieutenant, you can’t! … Miss Han Eunjoo!!”) Fingers already fumbling for her phone and dialing Wooju’s number, she jumped down flights of stairs in order to catch the perpetrators. After all, she already wasted enough time zoning out after the brick was thrown.
*Click*
“누나? 무슨 일–” (Translation: “[Noona?] What’s going–”)
Ignoring Wooju’s groggy voice, Eunjoo spoke softly yet quickly. “누군가 발코니에 벽돌을 던졌어. 지금 쫓고있으니까 너도 빨리 와. 될수있으면 솔이나 팀장님이랑 같이 – 아직 한 놈인가 두 놈인가 모르니까.” (Translation: “Someone threw a brick at the balcony. I’m chasing them down so come quickly. Try to come with Sol or Team Leader Baek – don’t know if it’s one person or two people that we’re dealing with.")
“알겠어 – 누나, 조심해!” (Translation: “Got it – [noona], be careful!”)
With that, Eunjoo hung up before stepping out of the dormitory. As soon as her whole body was outside of the building, she stopped to listen. Eyes closed, she focused on sounds. Listening to the quiet Seoul nights every night made her aware that there were specific sounds depicting life. Such as cars honking, middle aged men cursing as they drunkenly walked past, dogs panting as they were being walked by their tired owners, footsteps carrying gravel under shoes, and the sounds of metal clinking against a concrete wall.
‘저거다.’ (Translation: ‘That’s it.’)
As she made her way into each alleyway, she realized the sounds were getting closer. Whoever it was, they were walking slowly. ‘잡히지 않을 자신 있나보네.’ (Translation: ‘Looks like they have confidence in not getting caught.’) Internally thanking the culprit for his or her arrogance, she made her way closer. It helped that each alley they entered was darker than the previous, since she could easily blend in with the landscape.
“무슨 소리 안 들려?” (Translation: “Don’t you hear something?”)
Got you. It was a female voice whispering softly. The words shook like a feather shaking against the wind. Except, it was a question. ‘설마… 또 누가 있나? 여자 두명인가?’ (Translation: ‘Is there perhaps… another person? Two girls?’)
“… 아니.” (Translation: “…No.”)
Eunjoo’s footsteps stopped abruptly. Too abruptly.
Her shoes scratched against the loose gravel, making somewhat of a loud sound. At the same time, the tinkering sound of metal scratching against concrete stopped.
She definitely screwed up, but if anyone asked, she would have pleaded that she couldn’t help it when she heard a man’s voice responding to the woman. Not having much interest in idols, Eunjoo wasn’t aware that fanboys could also cause trouble. She had always heard of fanboys stalking female idols, while female fans stalk male idols. She nearly could have followed the wrong people just by the sound of their voices, if it weren’t for the faint sound of a knife scratching against the neighborhood walls.
“지금 막 들었어 – 어떤 쥐새끼가 쫓아 온 거 같네.” (Translation: “I just heard it – looks like some rat followed us.”) The man murmured, with a dark chuckle at the end.
With her body hunched back, she tried to move as quietly as possible, attempting to move as slowly as she possibly could without moving any of the gravel. But without any success, since she couldn’t move much where she was at and the two were starting to make their way towards her. She could hear the sounds of their footsteps making turns and the sound of metal scratching started up again, except much louder than before. As if they were not afraid of who followed them. As if they could take on whoever it was. As if they could get away.
Eunjoo quietly got into her defense stance. It was the only solution left. Based on the sound of their footsteps, she could estimate that they were less than a hundred meters away from where she stood. And they were closing in quickly. Much more quickly than they were walking away previously.
However, before they closed in more, she sensed another person right behind her. ‘뭐야 – 한 사람 더 있었어?!’ (Translation: ‘What the – there was one more person?!’) Before she could react, a large hand muffled her mouth and dragged her into another alleyway.
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TBC
a/n: wowow thanks for the wait lol to be honest I have almost all of it drafted out in bullet points but I just have to... flesh it out... ㅠㅠ since I really don't have any time this weekend (no limit tour!!!) I'll try to update as much as possible up until then and keep posts queued up!
am proofreading the next few chapters of follow me!!
ya gurl really thought she could finish this fic before the monsta x concert but the concert is next Saturday... and finishing is just not going to happen by then ㅠㅠ
Genre: angst, drama
Rating: PG 13
Warning: language/derogatory names
Part XIV
“너무 불행해 보여. 근데 그게 왜 그런줄알아?? 그 걸레 때문이야. 개 같이 꼬리를 흔들고 말이야… 확 죽어버렸음좋겠다.” (Translation: “He looks so unhappy. But you know why he’s like that?? It’s all that bitch’s fault. She keeps wagging her tail like a dog… wish she would just die.”)
The sound of small and large blades of knives scratched against the ground and against the wood grain of the walls. It was as if something was being carved in the wood, or something was being written on concrete.
“지금 쉬고 있어야 되는데, 그년이 우리 셔누를 망치고 있을거야. 우리 셔누 어떻게 해?? 여자가 그렇게 작정하고 들이대면 불쌍하게 아무것도 못하잖아. 하… 진짜 걸레같이 군다.” (Translation: “He should be resting right now but she’s ruining [our] Shownu. Our poor baby!! If a woman is determined to get his attention that aggressively, he won’t be able to do anything. Ha… she really acts like a slut.”)
More scratching, against the walls, against the ground, against the gravel.
“그년 좀 어떻게 해야겠어. 완전히… 부셔버리자. 쓸모 없게 만드는거야.” (Translation: “We need to do something about her. Let’s… completely destroy her. Render her useless.”)
Umm... so I thought I’d be able to write a new chapter in the week I had posts queued buuuut I wasn’t able to (4 paragraphs in and I’m like wtf am I writing lol) so after tomorrow/Friday, I won’t have anymore “regular” updates... ㅠㅠ
Genre: angst, drama
Rating: PG 13
Warning: gross/violent (dead animal)
Part XIII
*Diiiing*
Eunjoo looked up, noticing that hours had passed and she hadn’t moved much from her spot. It was only the doorbell that prompted her. As she became aware of her surroundings, she only saw Manager Seo run to the front door. She craned her neck and saw ingredients for dinner strewn across the countertop. ‘뭐 배달했나?’ (Translation: ‘Did he order something?’)
As she heard the manager say his thanks to the delivery man and the front door closing, she looked on. However, he wasn’t carrying plastic bags of neatly packaged food. His hands held a quite large black box with a shiny red ribbon tied neatly at the top. Her eyes met his, and he looked just as confused as she did.
“뭐에요?” (Translation: “What is it?”) she asked.
He seemed to hesitate for a moment. She watched as his face grew paler by the second.
Manager Seo stammered, “처… 처음에 온… 그것들도.. 이렇게 포장 돼있었어요.” (Translation: “T-the… first things… that came… were also packaged like this.”)
Eunjoo stared at the box that he held in his hands. The pictures she received in the beginning of the case were only of the items that were received, and not actually how they were packaged. Most things were thrown at the door and fell to the floor after all. There were a couple of items, such as bottles of liquid that were simply wrapped in bubble wrap in an average cardboard box. While she didn’t understand why they didn’t mention this previously, she realized quickly it would be better for her to check instead of anyone else. The manager looked thoroughly spooked and traumatized just by holding the box in his hands.
As her hands reached to take the box, she saw a different pair of arms cross hers. Her eyes even registered the lean and muscular arms, with the familiar veins slightly raised, but the rest of her body wasn’t fast enough to knock them out of the way.
Shownu was faster, ripping off the ribbon, he opened the lid.
She could only watch helplessly as the male idol’s indifferent expression twisted into so much more. His eyes narrowed, one eyebrow raised and his teeth bared on one side. It was apparent that he was absolutely disgusted.
“아아아아아악!” (Translation: “AAAAAGH!”) Manager Seo’s bloodcurdling scream probably shocked everyone else in the complex, except the two other people in the same room. He shuddered and slowly stepped back.
Eunjoo couldn’t take it anymore – she snatched the box out of Shownu’s hands and looked down at the box. Before her eyes landed on the contents, the smell hit her first.
The pungent scent hit like a punch in the face. It was a strong chemical smell, making her wonder how the smell didn’t seep through the box. Then, her eyes focused and widened.
She had heard stories of stalkers, or on the opposite spectrum, haters, sending dead rodents and razors, but she didn’t expect to see what looked like a black kitten curled up in a bed of shredded paper. Her eyes glazed over the cuts on the kitten’s body. Instead, they honed in on the front paw, which looked like gray at first glance. Staring at it more and even reaching in with one hand to lightly touch the paw, she realized it used to be white.
‘설마…아니겠지….’ (Translation: ‘No… way….’) But even as she thought about it, her hand was quick to reach for her phone and take a photo of the contents. Immediately sending the photo to Wooju, she gripped the box tightly in one arm, away from the two who were frozen in their places. Swiftly, she called Wooju.
There was only silence as she mentally wished for Wooju to pick up.
“사진 받았어. 지금 솔이누나랑 알아보고있어.” (Translation: “I got your picture. Sol[-nuna] and I are looking into it right now.”)
Sighing in relief, Eunjoo murmured, “그래… 연락 기다릴게.” (Translation: “Ok… I’ll wait for your call.”)
“이따가 그거… 찾으러 올게. 그때 더 자세히 얘기하자.” (Translation: “I’ll go pick that… up later. Let’s talk more in detail then.”) His voice drifted a little, before hanging up quietly. They both could already guess where this kitten came from and how close the perpetrators were.
Eunjoo slowly picked up the lid from the ground, where it was flung to, and covered the box. After placing it in a large plastic bag and tying it up tightly, she set it down next to her belongings. Then she walked over to the still figures in the center of the dining room. As she glanced at both men, Eunjoo figured it was best to approach the manager first, since it looked like he would collapse any moment.
Placing her hand gently on the manager’s shoulder, Eunjoo firmly gripped his arm with her other hand when she felt him wobble. In a soft voice, she asked, “괜찮으세요? 힘드시면 앉으세요… 아니면 속이 안 좋으면 화장실 먼저 가실래요?” (Translation: “Are you okay? If you’re having a hard time, sit down… or if you are feeling queasy, would you like to go to the bathroom first?”)
Manager Seo shook his head from side to side, almost robotically, before his feet dragged him towards the couch. He plopped down, hunched over and cradled his head between his hands.
She looked at him, concerned about how much he was shaking, but turned to face the other person who had been frozen in the same position. The same position since she snatched the box out of his hands, with his hands dropped to his sides lifelessly. His entire body looked tense, as if all the muscles tightened and never relaxed.
Staring at his face, she realized she couldn’t entirely figure out what he was feeling. Usually, she was able to quickly decipher the emotions of victims to determine how to speak with them and explain the case. However, this time, Eunjoo couldn’t figure out if Shownu was feeling shock and fear like his manager, or if he was feeling anger and disgust… or if it was a mix of all of those and more that she couldn’t pick out.
‘쯧’ (Translation: ‘Tsk.’) Mentally clicking her tongue, Eunjoo asked carefully, “손현우씨, 괜찮아요?” (Translation: “Are you okay, Mr. Son Hyunwoo?”)
*Silence*
Eyebrow raised, she took a step forward. No movement from him. Her hand raised up, almost about to reach over to his shoulder. He didn’t particularly look like he was going to stumble or faint like the manager did, but his unresponsiveness certainly troubled her. Before her hand could graze his shoulder, however, a different sound cut through the thick silence.
*Bzzt bzzzt*
Flinching at the sound, she retracted her hand quickly and checked her phone.
Wooju☾ (18:47): 생각한대로… 누나가 저번에 봐달라고 한 고양이들이었어. (Translation: As expected… it was the kittens you asked me to look after last time.)
Wooju☾ (18:48): 그게……… (Translation: The thing is………)
Wooju☾ (18:50): 5마리 중 3마리는 골목길에서 죽은것 같은데… 다 칼자국이 있어. (Translation: 3 out of 5 kittens look like they died in the alley… but they all have knife marks.)
A few more messages were sent and once Eunjoo finished reading through all of them, she relayed the news to the two other men.
“그러니까 그중 한마리를 손현우씨에게 보냈고, 나머지 한마리는 혹시… 몰라서 찾고 있대요.” (Translation: “So one was sent to Mr. Son Hyunwoo, and they are looking for the other one… just in case.”) With pursed lips, Eunjoo looked at the two. They both looked pale. Still in bad shape. She continued, “지금 저의 팀장님에게도 보고가 들어갔으니까, 팀원들과 전략을 세워보도록 하겠습니다. 워낙 위험하고 심각한 케이스라… 한 이틀 안에 두분께 알려 드리겠습니다. 지금으로서 할 일은… 안정을 취하시는게 좋을것 같아요. 혹시 일주일 동안 스케줄 비울수 있을까요?” (Translation: “Since this has been reported to our team leader, I’ll work out a game plan with my team members. Since this is quite the dangerous and serious case… I’ll let both of you know in about a couple of days. For now… it’d be best to get some rest. Will it be possible for you to clear a week of your schedule?”)
“...”
More silence.
Her eyes darted between the two, trying to find life in either one, but neither responded. Sighing, she snapped her fingers – once in each of their faces. Then she called out to the manager. “매니저님? 스케줄? 좀 어떻게 할 수 없을까요??” (Translation: “Manager [Seo]? The schedule? Can you do something about it??”)
Manager Seo finally woke up from his daze and the color started to return to his face. His eyes slowly raised from the ground up to Eunjoo’s eyes. Finally opening his mouth and letting out a croak, he replied, “ㄴ-네… 회사랑 얘기해야지만… 아마… 아마 현우의 안전을 위해서라면 일주일 비울수있… 있겠죠….” (Translation: “Y-yes… I’ll need to speak with the company but… probably… probably for Hyunwoo’s safety, one week can be cleared… I guess….”)
He continued to mumble to himself before his eyes glazed over and he got up from the couch. Hobbling over to his room, it seemed as though he would call the company a bit later… maybe after he calmed down a bit.
At last, Eunjoo’s eyes rested on Shownu.
He wore a thick cloak of darkness, which consisted of frustration, anger, sadness… and something else. His ears were red, but his face seemed pale at the angle she was at. Her eyes trailed down to see that he had goosebumps scattered over his arms and his toes were curled, as if they were clenching down on something on the ground. His body was twitching every second, but… something was off. It was something else.
Her hand went up to his shoulder before anything else, and as she slightly shook him, he turned to look at her.
The face of the idol was in no way pale, but actually grayish purple.
Only when Eunjoo uttered her words did he finally open his mouth to physically let out a breath and breathe air through his mouth. She shifted him to fully face her before she demonstrated taking a breath in and a breath out slowly. Continuously repeating until he followed and once she made sure he could breathe again by himself, Eunjoo cautiously asked, “괜…찮으세요?” (Translation: “Are… you okay?”)
A small, awkward smile flashed across Shownu’s face as he nodded. However, she could still tell it was forced, and he was still trembling a little.
At that moment, Eunjoo felt like she needed to hold him in place – to ground him. He had to be strong going forward. She had witnessed countless victims and countless people who became weak in front of each and every incident. Every time she saw those people break down, her heart hollowed out bit by bit, but she stood strong. For them. For her.
Her hand, which was still placed on his shoulder, lifted off for a moment. Then, it reached over to brush against his hand.
She held his hand in hers and squeezed lightly. Softly, she said, “안 괜찮아 도 괜찮아요. 지금… 많은 감정을 느끼고 있다는 거 알고있고, 그또한 정상이고, 괜찮아요. 그러니까 억지로 괜찮은 척 안 해도 돼요. 제 말… 알아들었죠?” (Translation: “It’s okay to not be okay. I know that right now… you’re feeling a lot of different emotions, which also is normal, and it’s okay. So you don’t have to force yourself to look okay. You understand… right?”)
One nod.
Another nod. Eyes closed. A heavy exhale.
And the trembling stopped.
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TBC
a/n: this was a hard chapter for me because a) the tw scene and b) we’ve never seen SN that vulnerable so i wasn’t sure if it was in character or not...
“음… 경위님이랑 싸웠어?” (Translation: “Um… did you fight with Detective [Han]?”) Manager Seo asked.
Eyes flickering to the side and back at his manager, Shownu responded with his lips protruded, “아니, 왜?” (Translation: “No, why?”)
Manager Seo fidgeted, hands nervously rubbing against each other. “아니… 뭔가… 느낌이 쎄~ 해서.” (Translation: “Well.. it’s kind of… too quiet.”)
Both of them looked at each other before they peered at Eunjoo.
She stood at the corner of her room staring blankly. Once in a while, her head would turn from one side to another, much like how a robot would move its head, to check the surroundings. However, her face was void of any emotion and her eyes were cold. Any time her eyes met Shownu’s, her eyes would flicker with fire before hardening back to the cold void.
Shownu sighed, “왜 그러시는지 나도 몰라.” (Translation: “I don’t know why she’s like that either.”)
“슛 다시 갈게요!” (Translation: “Let’s resume shooting!”)
His manager tilted his head in confusion but left Shownu as the photographer readied his camera.
He posed this way and that, trying to empty his mind. He understood why she was upset. Heck, he would be upset too if someone undermined his ability to do his job. As his eyes glanced over in her direction, his mind wandered at the same time. After all, there was just one thing he couldn’t figure out himself: ‘내가… 왜 그렇게 화났었지? 왜 그렇게 반응했지?’ (Translation: ‘Why… did I get so angry? Why did I react like that?’)
As the bruises on Eunjoo’s neck began to fade, they noticed more pictures and more “gifts'' were being sent to the old dorm. Sometimes they were photos of Shownu taken from afar, taped onto the front door, and other times they were Monsta X merch that were wrecked and trashed. On a few other occasions, the sexual harassment continued with ripped condoms and bottles of gel messily thrown at the entrance of the dorm. Neighbors complained, begging the managers to move out or do something, and other artists who lived in the same dorm looked at Shownu with pity.
As such, the managers practically begged Eunjoo to visit more often and even requested that she stay overnight as they feared for Shownu and their own wellbeing.
“더 자주 올 수 있지만, 계속 이 숙소에 머무르는거는안 좋은 생각이에요. 스토커를 더 자극 할 수 있고, 또 손현우씨에게 안좋은 소문도 퍼질 수 있어요.” (Translation: “I can come more often, but it’s a bad idea for me to stay over more. It could aggravate the stalker and spread bad rumors about Mr. Son Hyunwoo.”) Eunjoo explained, trying to reason with the managers.
*Bzzt*
“걱정마세요, 루머들이 퍼져도 오래 안 가요. 그리고 그 반대로 될수 있잖아요 – 스토커가 겁에 질려 도망갈 수도 있잖아요.” (Translation: “Don’t worry, rumors don’t last long. Plus, it could be the other way around – the stalker could get scared off.”)
Eunjoo opened her mouth to argue, but the managers cut her off.
“제발요… 제발 도와주세요! 회사는 얼마든지 더 보상할수 있다고 하고… 저희는 이 상황이 너무 무서워요….” (Translation: “I beg you… please help us! The company said they can compensate more… and we’re just too scared of this situation….”)
Their eyes were shaking, eyebrows pinched together and dark circles sinking low into their faces. No doubt they looked completely frazzled by the escalating and more frequent harassment. She sighed and replied with defeat, “알겠어요. 그러면 일주일에 세번은 숙소에서 묵을게요. 그리고… 이것도 해보죠. 밤에는 팀원들에게 부탁해서 한명씩 돌아가며 바깥을 감시할게요.” (Translation: “Alright. Then I’ll stay over three times a week. And… let’s try this too. I’ll ask my team to take turns watching outside.”)
*Bzzt bzzt*
Manager Park nodded vigorously, while Manager Seo tried to negotiate even further: “일주일에 다섯번은 어떠세요??” (Translation: “How about five times a week??”)
“안돼요.” (Translation: “No.”)
After all, she was the main person in charge and responsible for this case. Plus, Eunjoo couldn’t take away her team’s time too much.
*Bzzt*
“경위님… 문자가 계속 오던데…” (Translation: “Detective… you’ve been getting messages…”)
Looking down at her phone, Eunjoo stared blankly at the messages, noting the unread symbol disappear as soon as she opened them. All from one person.
Tae-yong♤ (9:15am): ㅇㄷ? (Translation: Where you at?)
Tae-yong♤ (9:28am): 밥ㄱㄱ? (Translation: Let’s grab food?)
Tae-yong♤ (9:30am): 너 지금 못 본 척 하니 (Translation: Are you ignoring my messages)
“별거 아니에요.” (Translation: “It’s nothing.”) She smiled at the managers as she put her phone back into her pocket.
Once Eunjoo started to stay over more often, it seemed as though the harassment slowed down. The neighbors also thought that things were finally settling down and being resolved with her presence (they all signed contracts for confidentiality since her identity couldn’t be widely known).
Quietly sipping her hot coffee, she scrolled through her phone for any nearby reports of suspicious people. As of the current time, none of her teammates reported anything out of the ordinary. It seemed as though the managers hit the mark that maybe the stalker got scared off.
*Creeak* A door slowly opened and a pair of feet shuffled out. The sound came closer, then stopped.
One step closer.
Then they shuffled back, the sound growing slightly fainter and away from her.
The sound stopped again, and she heard them start up again towards her.
Without looking up, Eunjoo continued to read the news on her phone.
“에헴.. 저기…” (Translation: “Ehem.. Um…”)
Her thumb froze midair, and she stopped scrolling down the page for a second.
“혹시 아침…” (Translation: “Did you perhaps [have breakfast]...”)
His voice only trembled for a moment, but it was probably because he had just come back after an early morning workout. Not at all because he was nervous or anything.
It was an insignificant question that he didn’t even have the courage to ask fully, so Eunjoo simply nodded and continued to scroll through.
*Sigh* Was that really a sigh she heard? But before she could look up at him, she heard him slowly walk away. What she didn’t hear was his door close, but she couldn’t exactly turn to check at this point. As childish as she knew it was, it would ruin the cold war they were having.
*Bzzt bzzt*
Tae-yong♤ (10:35am): 아침먹었어? (Translation: Did you have breakfast?)
Tae-yong♤ (10:36am): 안먹었으면같이먹자 (Translation: Let’s eat together if you haven’t)
Tae-yong♤ (10:36am): 뭐필요한거있으면말만해 (Translation: If you need anything, just let me know)
Groaning, she left him on ‘read’ again and tossed her phone across the table.
Whether or not he knew that she usually asked Wooju to bring extra clothes or devices to set up around the neighborhood to monitor suspicious activities, Eunjoo determined it may be better to leave it if he didn’t know. She knew he would intercept and that would most definitely annoy both her and Wooju. Wooju was always more agitated when Tae-yong showed overbearing attention to Eunjoo – he always lashed out at Tae-yong then, which Eunjoo then would have to remind Wooju to respect his seniors. It wasn’t as though she didn’t know why the youngest reacted like that, but she also couldn’t help how he himself was attached to her, albeit different from Tae-yong’s attachment to her.
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TBC
a/n: i quit my job a month ago and i’ve literally not stopped writing lol
