twitter refugee @dracoeris - Tumblr Blog

….well, she’s got the spirit!

*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

robomartyr

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen. If I were a professor I would pin this to my office door.

zanabism-deactivated20200529

LMAO

nitewrighter

There were like 30 seconds where I was like, “Ah the joke is that Orcas are technically the largest member of the oceanic dolphin family–this is a joke about the whale making false claims about its whale heritage on an admissions form, hence why its lawyer is also a dolphin.” And then I realized, “Oh. KILLER whale.”

writing-prompt-s

Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.

aurora31127

The galactic council watched on to see how humanity would handle the task, much as they had with several species before. What the test was supposed to show was whether or not a species of violent nature could ever be brought to work together. They finally picked something up, another ship already headed to Mars? Was it possible humans were that clever to have found the key, maybe it was more specialists and equipment to analyze the locked crate to ensure it was safe to open. A few minutes after landing, they got another broadcast from the red planet.

“This is the LockPickingLawyer and today I’ve got something quite special, this locked alien chest. First of all I have to thank everyone who recommended me for the job, I’m honored that you all thought of me. Now let’s get to work”

The council representatives were confused as they started analyzing the translation, before even getting through the name he spoke something haunting

“Normally I don’t say things like this but this lock is quite unique, however with no security pins it will still be quite quick.”

“There we go, a click on 3… “

All the species of the galactic council sat dumbfounded, they spent many galactic cycles refining and perfecting their study and in all their time not a singular race had tried this method. Click after click, even in such an intricate lock the human had only spent around five minutes tampering with it.

“There we go, now while I can’t open this as part of my video I can say that I at least have a clue what the key should look like in case it ever gets locked again. I admire the design choices and the fact that at least it was harder to get open than anything Master Lock has made”

ladyshinga

Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.

flying-lemons

zanephillips

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS 3.08 "No Weenies Allowed/Squilliam Returns"

nonaferatu

better ways to get your first pokemon instead of just getting one from a professor:

-cat pokemon just showed up one day

-racoon/skunk/crow pokemon found in dumpster at work

-fist fighting a pokemon that is trying to steal your moms berries

-inherit pokemon from your deceased great great aunt twice removed

-thought you were feeding the cute little mice pokemon in the apartments laundry complex. it was a haunter.

-previous owners abandoned pokemon in the house you move into at the beginning of game

-accidentally eaten and now pokemon feels bad for you and follows you around

-won a shady internet giveaway you didnt sign up for

-finding a poached pokemon that escaped from the evil guys

-being rejected from training school and being comforted by a mimikyu

-a lucario kicks down your door

ybcpatrick

green day: i walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken dreams when the city sleeps and i’m the only one and i walk alone

eight year old me:

disappearingxgirl

21 year old me:

myvalzpival

10 year old Czech me with zero knowledge of English:

galaxyferret

So that Direct huh

laurenbudoren

Did I ever tell you guys that I made another one?

sharper-and-bigger

75% certain that "wherefore" means "why"

laurenbudoren

Yeah, and I used it as such.

theatricuddles

[ID: Art of a comic in the style of the “who do you think took your boobs” meme in early modern engllish.

The first panel is of an orange cat standing at the bedside of a woman with a large chest. The cat says “May the lord bless thee”.

The second panel is labelled “An hour passes thrice” and shows the woman waking up to look at her much smaller chest with a nun standing beside her bed. The nun says “Hark! Thine breast are hereupon reduced.”

In the third panel, the woman says “Wherefore is Garfield the Grimalkin absent?” With the nun responding “Whomst did thee believe claimed thine burden?”

The last panel is of the woman saying “I am bereaved!” as she discovers the cat now has large breasts.]

fieldexplores

You've unlocked the Fuecoco Joker. Use it wisely.

pokemonpostsdaily

hjarta-deactivated20260124

que-mint-tea

in my experience it goes something like..

fruityfinnegan

thatonesongyouretryingtoremember

tastefullyoffensive

👻 @uberjnet

pukicho

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh

pukicho

I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff

no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that

Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

pukicho

Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?

doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them

pukicho

You will die in 7 days

hokuto-ju-no-ken

It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right

Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I