90 Day journey

Im following the Blogilates Plan and created by Cassey Ho. I've never blogged or anything before but maybe this will help make the journey easier. So, sit back relax and get ready to read my struggle.

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I was so busy following someone else’s plan, I decided to make my own and make new recipes! I’ve been in a dark place for a while and gave up on everything and had a bad time. I used to have an eating disorder long ago. Following that plan I ended up sitting on my bed crying into a bowl of red beans and rice. Why? It wasn’t on the plan and I felt awful and all the thoughts I had from my Ed came running back and I was over whelmed and stopped everything. But I’ve been thinking and planning and I started working at Disney and it’s been a month but here I am. Anyone see what I do and have questions or want to try what I’m doing comment or message below. Everything is a journey, but it’s easier to get where you’re going when you’re with friends.

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We are back!!! Yes I am officially better!! I could cry. This past week has been hell honestly. I haven’t felt like this since I had mono after having surgery on my back. No more hives, no more pain, and I am done eating bad. I only was 2 weeks in on my 90 days after 90 days I will continue this diet and when I’m sick I will eat what I want. At least I know this now lol.

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I decorated my porch like this 2 weeks ago. I have been sick and in pain and bed ridden for a week. Just when I was ready to go back I die. I feel better but I’m so ready for this to be over lol.

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I thought I was gunna go back to working out and the 90 days

But I’ve been crying every day, I’ve been in pain, and more depressed. I’m allergic to my own period… I break out in rashes and pain and swelling.

Cysts in ovaries, period and everything going on. I’ve been on a roller coaster and I’m over it. I got my water bottle I took my vitamins for the first time in a week and I’m resetting my sleep schedule

I’m so ready for it to stop

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I’m back! So I went on a Hiatus. I ate what I wanted I didn’t shower for 4 days I didn’t work out and I’ve been deeply depressed. But!!!!!!! No more! I erase the 4 days off my list and will be going back to everything I’ve been doing! I got a switch and I put 2 dance games and I workout game on there and I am going to make a schedule and plan again!! Why wait for my job! Get out of the rut now and begin again!!! Go for it!! Girl you’re about to work for Disney!!! The one company you’ve loved since you were born!! The one place you’ve always wanted to go to! The one thing that always brings you back ! You’re working out! You don’t need food as a crutch?? So I’m gunna start journaling! Yeah! Doing that writing thing not just a blog! Cuz why not?? So I’m gunna get up and shower wear my favorite perfume get into super comfy clothes after I’ve shaved my legs and wash my dang sheets!!

When we get in this rut there’s only one person who can get themselves out of it. Yourself

Talking to a professional or just asking a friend to listen can help so much but the person who takes the first step is yourself.

I believe in all of you! You got this! Feel free to message me if you ever need an ear to listen :)

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Struggle

Yesterday and today I haven't cared. I ate what i wanted which was popcorn, normal pizza, and gluten free chicken tenders with broccoli. Not to mention nuts with cranberries. This doesn't sound like a lot you're saying... but it was especially for me. I struggle with PCOS and gluten sugar and dairy have always caused the weight gain. I’m on this 90 day journey for a reason. Sure... 2 days out of 90 doesn't seem bad... having slip ups is normal... yeah and you're right. But what's to stop me again? I need to self reflect on this. I haven't used my journal, I barely blog anymore, and working out feels like a chore and isn't fun... why? You know what? Here’s a promise. If I still feel like this after I start working I will talk to someone or figure out what's going on. Maybe I need to go back on Prozac? i stopped recently and I thought working out was enough... Is it? I guess we’ll find out

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This week is a fresh start! I am ready to go in full speed. I had my Hibachi and i didnt have gluten or sugar but I had a little dairy. I feel refreshed. Maybe every now and then instead of forcing myself to eat crap I let myself give in the cravings without hurting the plan. This 90 days isnt about losing weight super fast. It’s about a restart and getting healthy.. and thats what im going to do! So lets get out there and workout and feel great about it!

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I just did the Body by Blogilates workout… and I know I just posted about being in a rut but… I just felt relief… and I just started crying. Idk why… maybe it was the post earlier or just a build up of stress but… why?… what is going on? Does anyone know what I mean?

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This week has been hard. I ate one snack that had gluten and sugar but besides that I’ve stuck to everything. I have had non stop cravings 24/7 for pizza, burgers, Chinese, cookies and just anything that isn't in the diet. I have struggled to workout and I’ve done what I’ve needed to do but I didn’t enjoy it at all. I’ve lost 6 pounds yay but i don’t feel great about it. I don’t know why the second week has been so hard. I just want to stop and eat what i want but that would ruin everything and I don’t want that. I want to thrive and build confidence and continue off of last week. I don’t understand the rut I’m in but I’m praying I bounce out of it. I usually love working out... so... what happened? Is it normal to hit a decline so soon? Is it me like my depression and anxiety? How to I get out of this feeling? Maybe it’ll all change when I start working again. The cravings and the constant feeling of needing to snack will go away. I’m being as hopeful as I can. I almost didn’t even blog today... I haven’t even been doing anything with my journal.... Any advice out there?

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This doesn’t look Appetizing but let me tell you!! I never thought zucchini noodles would taste good. They taste just like spaghet! And I love spaghet! Nom nom! I just got hired at Disney! (Working from home) but Disney!!! I’m so excited!! Good food great day and ready for my workout! Let’s go!

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I have found the perfect snack! Something sweet and salty and healthy! It’s something I’ve been craving and didn’t even know. Today has been better. I went to Target and tried to find the new Blogilates equipment and it was sold out in every single target! No fair! Off to go change and then workout. Wish me luck!

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Anyone know a healthy alternative for ranch or a dairy free version?

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I’m headed out to Target to get some workout equipment!! I’m so excited to be out in the world lol! Today’s a new day and I feel exhausted! But I’m going to follow the plan and workout and eat exactly as scheduled! Let’s go!

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Today was a hard and stressful day. I had lunch then all of a sudden everything hit the fan. I didn’t eat for the rest of the day. I’ve felt awful and terrible… I’ve jogged 2 miles and I did my body workout thinking I’d feel better releasing stress. That didn’t happen… I just feel tired and defeated. I don’t even want to shower and get ready for tomorrow. This is the first time in 2 weeks I haven’t looked forward to the next day.

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Last night was chicken with garlic calli flower mash and green beans! It was super good!

I jogged for a mile and a half and I did arms yesterday. Sheesh!! My arms felt like jelly

My biggest insecurity is my arms and I’m excited for them to get smaller! My favorite thing is my legs! I’ve worked hard for 2 years making them strong to where I can bench about 200 pounds!

Today is a grilled chicken salad and I’m super super excited about it!

I’m thinking… smoothie for lunch?💜