he may have changed recently, but for the majority of his life, zahhāk had been self-serving. who’s to say that once the crown was placed upon his head, that he wouldn’t revert back to that ? —- she said that he was free of judgement, but he feared that she’d not want him by her side any longer once she had heard who he had been.
❝ who i am now, is new. he was born when i met you on the seaside & you offered me a position by your side. centuries before then, i was a king. i ruled the land east of essos. ❞ he pauses, & his mouth turns down into a frown as anger fills his words. he’s not going to sugar coat it or make it sound as if he were in the wrong. ❝ would you like to know how i became king ? i was prince. first in line for the throne, but my father was young. he could have ruled for decades longer. —- i killed him … i dug a pit in his favorite leisure spot & he fell in & he died. it was deemed an accident, & i was crowned. ❞ emotions raged through him ; anger, fear, embarrassment. he didn’t deserve to be king along side her. he didn’t deserve to even serve her. sure, a demon had convinced him to do this, but zahhāk had done it. he had shoved his fingers into the earth with vigor, a picture in his mind of himself on the throne.
❝ i was cursed soon after i was crowned. a demon kissed my hands & with that the infection spread. the black scales i wear as a dragon started to grow over my human skin. i summoned every physician in attempt to remove them, but nothing worked. finally, one arrived with a solution ; to bathe my infected skin in human blood. —- i had my soldiers take a man off the street every day & i bathed in their life’s blood. i did this for months, killing dozens. it didn’t work, though. soon enough the scales covered my entire form & then my body started to morph into the beast you know now. i am no longer human, though i may look it. it is dragon’s blood that runs through these veins. it was my people & other kingdoms that felt the repercussions of what i had become. i was angry & fearful at what i had become … i killed mercilessly, & most of the time, there was no reason for it. i would devour my subjects simply because i would get annoyed at them or they would make the simplest mistake. ❞
he had stopped looking at her long ago, not wanting to see her reaction. zahhāk new he had been wrong, & knew he was better now that he had met her, but he was still a dragon. a creature of fire & blood & fury & tyranny. what dragon could rule justly ?
"Zahhāk — " She attempts to cut him off, but it’s lost to her. There’s a word tacked on to the end of his name. A word she can’t bring herself to say because she knows this isn’t going to play out like she wants it to. Daenerys had never been good at accepting things lying down; this isn’t an exception. She’d sensed hesitation laced in his words. [ Though perhaps it’s within her own mind it’s hesitant. ] Daenerys didn’t want him to continue-- because she didn’t CARE about what he had done-- she had made allies with evil men before.
But she allowed him to speak, listening to each and every word that passed those lips, noticing the lack of eye contact he was giving her. A tension crackles in everything they’re not saying. Negative, positive— does it matter?
Finding it useless to stand around any longer if he does not wish to look at her, Daenerys saunters to the window as she makes herself a glass of wine. Whether she was looking for Drogon or simply finding a way to rest uneasy legs, it’s not known. It’s not annoyance she’s feeling. When his words finally stopped, that’s when she turned her head to face him again. Silence lingers in the gap between them until Daenerys breaks it.
“ Years ago, I stood beside my brother. A boy who RAPED me, who ABUSED me, and who would threaten to kill me himself if I dared to disobey. Years ago, I would not speak unless spoken to and I would tremble and cry if someone raised a hand to me. “ Daenerys began. “ I watched as my husband burnt my brother alive with hot gold. I set a witch on fire and I felt joy as she screamed. I will cut the hands off of anyone that dares to raise them at me, and I will no longer allow myself to be spoken down to by any MAN that attempts to prove his dominance over me. “
She is sure that he is wondering what this all has to do with him-- what does this have to do with his story? It’s when she speaks again when the answers follow. “ People change. DRAGONS change. And if you do not believe this, then I will MAKE SURE you remain righteous, or you will be exiled by myself to remain alone once more. I have hope for you. Dragons are not monsters, or I would be one as well. ”
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