i don't know why I'm here

I don't donate to Anything via Tumblr, stay out of my ask box. Anyone who turns up in my asks or dms will be blocked immediately regardless. I support Palestine but this includes requests from people in Gaza

[caffeinewitchcraft]

For Caffeine Challenge 22 (X)! Pretty rough…def going to rewrite/rework!

Aphrodite returns to Olympus two centuries late. She comes from the ground and walks and walks and walks, the wind biting at her skin as she climbs higher and higher. The air grows thinner, the temperature drops, and steam begins to hiss all around her. Mortals would have died at this point, would have had to to avoid the pain, but Aphrodite knows enough about pain not to fear it. Her human clothes melt under the poison gasses, leaving her in her toga and her gold and her divinity.

She crests the final ridge and takes in the home of the gods.

Olympus is white marble and cool granite, sparkling in the sun. At the top there is Zeus’ home and meeting hall, another fantastic house beneath his and on and on. At the base of their little village are the lowly gods, the ones without station or the ones with the misfortune to be born to anyone but Zeus.

She isn’t recognized as she walks past these smaller homes and neither is she recognized as they begin to grow larger and grander, gold replacing cobblestone and the air beginning to shine with power.

She walks all the way up Mt. Olympus and passes many of the other gods, none who so much as glance at her. She’s learned many things in the human lands, many valuable things, and she relishes the anonymity.

It won’t last long.

——————————————————-

They marry her to Hephaestus because she is beautiful. She rises from the ocean as too much woman and not enough child and it begins. The stares. The wanting. The power that they heap at her feet just so that she’ll glance in their direction.

So they marry her to Hephaestus, the ugly god who was once cast from Olympus by his own mother for his deformities. They marry her to him to placate his wrath and to stop the war her face could cause.

They do not marry him to her.

“Mine,” he tells her. He says the same to his tools, she thinks, and watches as he ruins them against swords and armor and lightning bolts.

Aphrodite is still young then, still beautiful, still naive enough to put on the girdle that her new husband gifts her with. It accentuates her breasts and makes her feel…decorated for all that it is armor.

She is not a tool. She is not something to be used.

Keep reading

[xvxblahhhxvx]

The three types of people who watch Apothecary Diaries, apparently:

1: Omg, this series is sooo good, and Jinshi and Maomao have such a fun dynamic! I hope they get together I mean Jinshi could probably use help but lol

2: *watches the series, reads the light novels, reads fanfic, obsesses and then writes essays about it* The apothecary diaries is a masterpiece, Jinshi and Maomao are such deep, complex characters who develop so much and yada yada nuance yada yada here's how Jinshi becomes the best male character ever yada yada Maomao loved him the whole time yada yada CHUE

3: Jinshi is a rapist, he constantly assaults Maomao, he's a predator who—

[caffeinewitchcraft]

I read Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman which I really enjoyed but nobody warned me that the plot of the book was about as related to the movie as The Haunting of Hill House book is related to the tv show

The difference was insanely interesting and for the first time in my life I'd advise people to watch the movie first and THEN the book

[satan-offical]

The entirety of death note so far is this:

"Light what's your favourite type of chocolate?"

"DAMMIT!!! If I say it's dark chocolate he'll know I'm naturally a bitter person just like the bitter taste of dark chocolate, making me Kira! But it's too obvious to say I like milk chocolate because that's what anyone who wants to be seen as normal would say, making it clear to L that I'm hiding something! And no one likes white chocolate, so if I say that he'll know I'm a natural liar!! I'll just say I don't like chocolate, so that rules out all the options! Take that L, you've fallen right into my trap!" "Oh, I don't really like chocolate"

"I've got you now, Light! I know you wouldn't say you like dark chocolate because that reveals you're a bitter person like the taste of dark chocolate, which would make you Kira! And saying you like milk chocolate is way too normal, so that would sound like you're trying to hide something! And there's no way you would say you like white chocolate because you need to win all the time wouldn't allow you to lie and admit to liking it! I've got you now Light, or should I say, KIRA?!!" "oh really? I like milk chocolate."

[homunculus-argument]

My "problems that can't be fixed aren't worth complaining about" makes me a horror to people who want to bitch about the existence of people. "Wow these people who do this specific annoying activity are annoying and I am annoyed by them >:C"

well the fuck you expect anyone to do about it? They can't be negotiated with and won't compromise on doing that anyway. So you can either ignore them and let them continue to do whatever the fuck they want to do with their life, or go through the logistics of figuring out how to get people rounded up to get shot for the crime of existing in a way that you find inconvenient.

This usually gives the immediate response of "no of course not what the fuck is wrong with you what the hell", like I was the one who started this. Bitch that's what I thought. You can either let them live or consider what the fuck you expect the other option to be.

[athena33550336]

complaining about things that cant be fixed is more about letting out emotional steam than actually finding a solution though

[homunculus-argument]

If that pressure valve is a permanent structure that has to be used on a regular basis, the engine should be designed in a way that doesn't blow the steam directly into my face every single time.

[homunculus-argument]

Going on about the subject of people struggling with food:

How do you manage the thing where you get a food item you really wanted to eat 3 bites out of, and then no longer want it? So you get it, take three bites out of it, and then won't want to touch it again until it's already gone bad. Do you just immediately throw the rest of it away because you know you won't want it again before it spoils, or do you keep it in the fridge until it's visibly rotten before throwing it out?

[lycanthropic-artisan]

so i end up doing one of two things:

1: it either rots in my fridge because i either forget about it or cant bring myself to eat it

2: i give it to my husband. i routinely misjusdge how much i want of something, and he eats the rest. i think my brain just plates both our portions at once now.

[homunculus-argument]

How do I convince my boyfriend to go for option 2. It would be far more useful to everyone involved if he simply handed them directly to me instead of leaving them in the fridge until they're too rotten for him to endure so I can try if I can still stomach it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Help I am plagued with visions for a romantasy novel which my normal readers would not be interested in but it has no sex scenes in it so the romantasy readers would also not be interested in it. Why do half of my ideas have a target audience of six people.

[calandrinon]

maybe it's just me but I feel like your readers are about as normal as your spaceships

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Half the notes on this post are like "oh we'd be there, we trust you to make anything really fucked up, spaceship or not."

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Readers are coming to my house tomorrow for the monthly reader hangout so I need to hurry up and start reading a book tonight so I'll have a book to talk about

[tiktoks-repost]

[the-love-i-crave]

[Transcript: Look, Penelope. Look. There is nobody out here. Nobody. Do you see that? Do you see that? Look- Look over here. There’s nobody. Look over here. There’s nobody! There is nobody out here. End transcript.]

[toastyglow-rb]

me reading the end of the odyssey

[teaboot]

(Penelope is a small black chihuahua, roughly the size of three bagels, and is being held out at arm's length.)

[what-even-is-thiss]

So many people with migraines are like “zero calorie sweeteners give me migraines” and then people are like “no you don’t there’s no proof for that” and yet whenever I eat stevia my head feels like there’s a thousand metal rats trying to escape from it no matter how many times I’m told that I’m making it up.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Even a lot of doctors are like “you can’t get migraines from stevia”

And yet.

[what-even-is-thiss]

They’re not doing the research on this so migraine havers forced to cobble together information for ourselves on Reddit and by word of mouth.

[homunculus-argument]

The possibility of me emotionally reacting to air pressure changes, and my boyfriend having an allergic reaction to ground spores makes a funny concept. You know it's going to rain when the way he starts sneezing makes me want to tell him to shut the fuck up.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I'm doing some pre-weeding for planting my spring seeds and my chickens are enjoying scratching around in the disturbed dirt. They're gonna be so mad in a week or two when I lock them in the chicken run until the end of spring.

[captaindibbzy]

They're being so helpful and you're locking them.in chicken jail!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My seedlings must be protected from their beaks and their claws and their high nitrogen poop.

[homunculus-argument]

Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.

[homunculus-argument]

I know it's pronounced ayol but you're not making me make a third guess about how you're supposed to spell that shit.

[materassassino]

An isle is an island.

An aisle is a walkway between seats or shelves in a church, shop or on a mode of transport.

They're pronounced the same but spelt differently, meaning they're homophones.

[homunculus-argument]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Most accounting classes at my school are only online so this semester I decided to take an in person Spanish class to get some human interaction.

Anyways on the first day of class a student asked if it’s okay to use Duolingo to study and the professor made an involuntary disgusted face

[foone]

COMPUTER! Show me... THE BIG ONE.

(based on these two posts, of course)

[yugirimistwalker]

The trolley is about to run over all sentient life in the galaxy. You cannot switch the tracks, but you can still save everyone’s lives by pulling one of three levers, all of which involve sacrificing yourself. The red lever will destroy all trolleys, but will also kill you as well as all public transportation across the galaxy. The blue lever will merge your own consciousness with all trolleys, allowing you to control them and stop the trolley from running everyone over. The green lever will use your body as a catalyst to synthesize organic life and public transportation together - organic life will no longer be stuck in the cycle of creating public transportation that rebels against its creators, and both forms of life will finally be free.

[whirligig-girl]

[fluorescentbrains]

this lab safety training module is sending me

[fluorescentbrains]

I feel like whoever wrote these questions was speaking from experience