🦁🐍

Drarry, Wolfstar, Deamus, Romione<3

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at dumbledore's grave

Voldemort: what's up YouTube it's time for another unboxing video

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Slytherin: that big bitch in the sky

Gryffindor: .... you mean God?

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Hufflepuff: h**k

Ravenclaw: why did you just censor that?

Slytherin: because it's a fucking bad word

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Snape: just flick your wand, say "accio", and whatever you desire will come to y-

Harry: ACCIO MY PARENTS

[two corpses come flying through the window]

Harry: *screaming*

Snape: lmao

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Bad boy gang

Marauders: *sipping their chocolate milks*

Sirius: we really are a bad boy gang

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Once the gold and silver trio becomes friends

Pansy: don’t let Draco scare you, he’s not that scary. He used to do ballet

Harry: no way!

Draco: which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet

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Blaise: I can’t believe you and Harry broke the bed!

Pansy: you two must have gone wild

Draco: haha yeah...

[the night before]

Harry: I bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling

Draco: the fuck I can’t! Watch me!!

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Meals in the great hall be like

Draco: (from across the great hall) HEEEEYYYYY POTTTAAAAAH!!

Harry: WHAT?!

Draco: WHAT’S THAT THING ON YOUR NECK? THAT BIG RIPE PURPLEY BLOTCH THERE?!

Harry: IT’S A HICKEY, MALFOY. YOU SHOULD KNOW-

Draco: OH HOW SILLY OF ME, THAT’S RIGHT. I GAVE A HICKEY TO HARRY POTTER BECAUSE HE BLOODY BELONGS TO ME! EVERYBODY HEAR THAT? THAT’S MY POTTER! NOBODY TOUCH HIM!

Harry: *slides under table*

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Random girl: *flirts with Sirius*

James: you’re awfully quiet Moony

Remus: no one plans a murder out loud

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When Bellatrix babysits Draco

Bellatrix: now remember Draco, the quickest way to someone’s heart is-

6 year old Draco: through the 4th and 5th rib

Bellatrix: that’s my nephew

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Ron: so mate, how are you going to ask him out?

Harry: just watch me

Harry: *approaches Draco*

Harry: I dare you to go out with me

Draco: I’m not falling for that

Harry: ok, I guess I win then

Draco: HELL NO! Blaise hold my bag, you think imma let you win? Well DiNg DoNg YoU aRe WrOnG-

Harry: see you in Hogsmade tomorrow then *wink*

Draco: *realizes what just happened* 0_0

Ron: smooth

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Umbridge: “boys and girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other”

[ gay wizard laughter ]

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Drarry after every fight

Hermione: why are Harry and Draco sitting with their backs at each other?

Pansy: they has a fight

Hermione: then why are they holding hands?

Pansy: they get sad when they fight

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Ron: I saw you leave early with Malfoy. Did you have a wand fight or something?

Harry: *sweats nervously*

Harry: You could say that...

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Hermione: What’s this?

Harry: It’s my to-do list.

Hermione: Oh? That’s great! I’m so glad that you’re starting to be more organiz-

Hermione: This just says “Draco” .

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Draco: Look I’m being super gay STRAIGHT™️ by flirting with BULLYING™️ my crush ENEMY™️

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Drarry @ the beach

Harry: You remind me of the ocean

Draco: Why? Because I’m deep and beautiful?*winks*

Harry: Because you’re salty af and you scare people