i'm starting this blog with a very specific goal, which is why I gave it this name
draumstafir is the icelandic magical staff pertaining to granting wishes or fulfilling dreams
i'm very familiar with the sagas of ragnar loðbrók in their original medieval icelandic
and my dream was to the see them portrayed accurately on tv
because of the showrunners and the history channel, my dream remained unfulfilled. however, i’m now taking matters into my own hands, by starting my vikings rewrite project. my intention for this project is just to be a creative outlet for myself, although the rules will be very simple so anyone can join if they’d like:
i will only be allowed to use the characters from the show, and their physical descriptions will have to be the same as the actors who portrayed them
i will push myself to be more historically accurate than the tv show
i will push myself to be more true to the original icelandic sagas
i will push myself to be more nuanced in my writing of female, poc, and lgbt+ characters
i will have to write the equivalent of 6 seasons of the tv show, even if the plotlines ultimately differ
the goal of this project is essentially to roleplay being the head writer of the show, and attempting to create a more satisfying outcome with what resources the actual head writer (he who shall not be named) had. please tag everything as “#vrp tag” so i can see!
it feels so gratifying to finally reach the 10th installment of saying nope!! i've been thinking about this world that i've partially created for years now, and realized while writing this last chapter, that finishing chapter 10 puts me 1/6 of the way through the initial story.
lately i've been considering expanding the story past the original source material, or maybe adding some time in the villa. we shall see!!
anyways, thank you to anyone who's read it so far. i'll have more for you in the future!! :-)
it was the second time in your life you'd been chauffeured down a mallorcan dirt road in a black roofless jeep. only five days had passed since the first, but, not only did it feel like a lifetime ago, between then and now you'd also been changed more than some people might ever experience in a lifetime.
assuming you didn't get dumped or disqualified, you'd live about five lifetimes more in the villa - fleeting few moments like these in the real world. how much more change could you possibly endure, you wondered. and, if you did make it to the finale, would the girl on that stage - in front of that crowd - even be you?
today would be your first performance. arriving in front of a stunning scenic view, the sun was only just beginning to droop in the sky as you disembarked from the car. surrounded by peachy hues of pink speckled amongst pale baby blues, you hardly even noticed the handful of tables set up by the cliffside you were standing on.
lottie: woah.
hope: this is proper lush.
priya: now this is romance if i've ever seen it!
one of the tables was placed off to the side. it was relatively barren, only a plain white tablecloth and two glasses of water adorned it. there were two other tables nestled further into the crook between earth and air. each sported a bottle each of red and white wine, chic stemless glasses, and a modest selection of interesting cheeses, both with a little fake candle in their centers.
henrik: wait! don't sit down yet!
another black roofless jeep pulled up. the two new boys, henrik and lucas, darted out from either side of it, rushing towards the decorated tables and only slowing down to perch themselves next to one of their empty chairs.
lucas: (Y/N), priya, i believe you're up first. allow us.
as if rehearsed, the both of them pulled out their respective chairs in one graceful, gentlemanly motion. all four girls cackled amongst yourselves.
drawing nearer to the cliff's edge, you realized that the land below housed a sprawling vineyard, a rustic little house sat in front of the almost countless rows. and curiously, a larger structure from what was presumably a few kilometers away, was also visible. it seemed like a two storey building, with all manner of fairy lights connected to its outside walls, hanging over a meager pool and seating area in its back garden. it could've been the love island villa - in an alternate universe where the show had half its budget.
lifting your gaze back up, henrik shot you a not-so-subtle wink, suggesting you were perhaps supposed to sit with him first. the mediterranean breeze was quite cold, leaving your face to heat up in a red flush as you sat down. priya looked happy to do the same across from lucas. hope and lottie watched from the lone table away from the action, probably too far to hear your conversations as well.
henrik: i'm well pleased to have my first date here in the great outdoors!
he scurried around to the other side of the table and took his seat.
you: weren't we just outside all morning?
henrik: technically, sure. but nature is so vast and varied! i feel so lucky to be able to experience the true balearic islands like this. they don't typically have a reputation for camping... except outside of clubs, i suppose.
henrik was so engrossed in his speech, the first time he was able to stop himself he noticed lucas still standing up, pouring priya's wine for her.
henrik: where are my manners!
he arose again, to your playful protests.
you: you don't have to, henrik.
henrik: but i insist.
he gestured exaggeratedly to each of the options.
you: hmm, they both look great, but i've been told my perfume is supposed to pair with white wine specifically.
he grabbed the bottle sort of frantically, his whole face contorting as he leaned in and whispered.
henrik: then why don't we both indulge?
you laughed, though somewhat horrified, as henrik seemed to morph into a kind of shambling gremlin. lucas and priya turned their attentions to you, from which you tried to hide your wincing expression.
henrik: come on, (Y/N), this is fun!
you: you sure seem like you're having fun...
henrik: so!
he plopped down into his seat, finally looking like he meant to stay in it.
henrik: is there anything you'd like to know about me?
he swept his hair off of his shoulders with both hands. you shook your head, smiling.
you: i feel like i'm already learning so much.
henrik: ah! i almost forgot again.
his chin held high, henrik raised his glass.
henrik: what should we cheers to?
you followed suit and copied his gesture, although you remained a bit too bashful to give it the same flare henrik did.
you: maybe... to new friends, new connections, and new fun to be had.
your glasses met in the middle of the table.
henrik: friends, eh?
he'd caught you off guard before you could even finish swallowing the first sip.
you: well, i know i'm the only single girl at the moment, but i didn't want it to feel like i was... putting my stake in either of you. people can always surprise you. i've learned to just stop expecting anything in particular.
henrik: you didn't think we'd be interested?
you chuckled, letting your eyes flit around so long as they avoided him.
you: maybe i shouldn't say that...
henrik returned your chuckle.
henrik: don't be shy about it then! you're basically a celebrity to us, since we've watched you all in the villa for the past week. does it feel like that to you?
you: i certainly don't feel like a celebrity, i mean, all i know how to be is myself.
henrik: i definitely get that from you. you're actually exactly how i thought you'd be, which, i guess, means that you've been true to yourself here.
you spent a moment processing his words.
henrik: and besides, after this is all over, you will actually be a celebrity. it's funny how both can exist at the same time, but some celebrities just let the status overcome the person they were before it.
you blinked, not expecting him to get so philosophical.
you: if that ever happens to me, here or in the outside world, i give you full permission to crush my head under a boulder.
henrik nearly spat out his drink. you shared a laugh with him, shyly, though you took pride in being able to catch him off his guard too.
henrik: is that your way of saying you'd like to go bouldering some time?
you: if you're there to teach me, why not?
there was a lull in the conversation. the quiet was jarring since priya and lucas didn't seem to be laughing, or even talking, as much as you and henrik.
you: here's a question: what, ideally, would you like to get out of this experience?
henrik: hmm, stimulating... i knew you'd be the thoughtful type...
you raised an eyebrow at his choice of wording.
henrik: honestly, the best i could hope for is to have a good laugh and see what happens. maybe what happens is a meaningful and intense relationship? that might be cool. i might really like to go on a super deep and personal journey with another human being.
you felt your mouth open instinctively, in awe of his answer.
you: you know, that's not how i would've phrased it, but that is pretty much exactly what i thought coming in here. like, why try to force things? life isn't a puzzle, it's a blank slate.
henrik: you get me, (Y/N). now how about this: we spend the day hiking around seeing everything this island has to offer, gussy up and go to a party in the evening, then we retire back to our cute rental farmhouse - like the one down there, full of terracotta tiles - and cozy up by the fireplace.
the corner of your mouth gradually crept up while you thought about it, leaving you smirking at the idea.
you: and this is you and me?
henrik: you and me.
you: well... i should probably say i'm not too fond of parties. i mean, i like to get together with people i know, obviously, i just... don't often have the energy to make small talk with strangers.
henrik: i can respect that. i can jog, climb, trek - basically anything exercise-y - but people have a tendency to drain me more than any of that. i think that's why i'm such a massive homebody as well.
you: you know what, replace that party with a dinner with old friends, and i'm sold.
henrik adopted his own lopsided grin and raised his glass again.
henrik: cheers to that.
as your glasses touched, the sound that emanated from the contact was much louder than last time. though, lucas in your periphery seemed to check his phone, and you realized it was only a text.
lucas: i suppose time is up.
you took your drink and shuffled over to him, while lottie got to sit across henrik, and priya joined hope at the girls' table. you worried slightly about things being awkward between priya and hope, but as she demonstrated with lottie earlier in the day, she was the type to at least be civil and exchange niceties with everyone.
lucas reached for the bottle of white.
lucas: here, let me top you off.
you: thank you, lucas.
lucas: don't mention it.
the back of his hand looked vascular and strong as he poured, having possibly been positioned in exactly the right spot for you to take note.
you: henrik made me say a toast so... how about i pass it on?
lucas snickered, his dimples promptly showing themselves.
lucas: alright then...
he paused for only a second before raising his glass.
lucas: to right here and right now.
you raised your eyebrows, impressed. lucas was definitely self-assured if nothing else. your hand was almost drawn to his, as if his body had a magnetic aura, and your glasses clinked so hard they nearly shattered.
you: excuse me.
lucas: no worries, this stuff is pretty strong. have a bit of the cheese, if you're into it. menorca is known for aged goat cheeses, those are the slightly orange ones, but the mild, white one with the herb rind is a semi-aged cow's milk cheese from the south of mallorca. it's very good.
you narrowed your eyes at him sarcastically, but followed his instruction. the flavors were unlike anything you'd ever tried before. and lucas seemed to know what he was talking about.
you: oh my god... sorry if we don't get very much chatting done. these are unreal.
lucas: have as much as you like. i'm sure there'll be plenty of time for grafting in the villa.
you: i said chatting and you said grafting... curious.
he chuckled.
lucas: is it any surprise? you were my first choice all along. were you... happy... that i chose you?
you wiped your fingers off on a napkin, nodding.
you: of course. i mean, it was a relief because i tried not to be too forward when we were around the others.
lucas: i completely understand. sometimes flirting can get in the way of truly, deeply knowing someone.
you: well, now that we're here, i feel like there's space for both?
lucas smiled your way, allowing his tongue to moisten his lower lip, suggesting he was really thinking through whatever he was about to say. henrik's voice could be heard during the silence. his tone was big and unabashed, but lottie didn't seem to be reciprocating his energy.
lucas: i did want to ask you one thing: how are things between you and bobby at the minute?
you: over, pretty much. since last night.
lucas: completely?
you: yeah, i mean, i just thought we weren't right for each other. our perspectives were too different. sometimes that kind of thing can be worked around but... maybe not in our case.
lucas: if i recall correctly, we seem to have different perspectives too. when i told you my type on paper, you said marisol might suit my fancy. or was that just you trying to keep things friendly?
you shifted in your seat.
you: if i'm honest, i was a bit... intimidated... when you said you'd like a girl who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. i've always heard people praise those qualities, and sure, they seem great, but they make you go through life so quickly. and miss the forest for the trees. there'd been times in my life where i would've done anything to get a thousand more followers - or something to that effect - but i became so entranced by that mission that i couldn't even understand, once i succeeded, i would've never been satisfied. i would've been stuck in a loop of doing anything for the next thousand, and the next thousand after that.
lucas's brow furrowed, listening intently.
you: that's all to say, i'm not much of a go-getter anymore. sorry to disappoint.
he shook his head.
lucas: i'm not disappointed at all. it's just strange; when i said that at the pool earlier, i imagined i was describing you exactly.
you recoiled half jokingly, half genuinely stunned.
you: what gave you that impression?
lucas: i dunno, you just... always seem so sure of yourself. you don't let anyone else change your convictions.
you: i guess i'm in the fortunate position of knowing my principles. i don't mind taking the long way round if it's more fun or more fulfilling, but i try not to let people waste my time. i try not to be difficult but i don't let people walk all over me. it's a delicate balance. i don't always uphold it perfectly, but i do try.
lucas nodded along to your sentiment.
lucas: well, here's a question for you then: when you picture the person you end up with, what kind of mental image do you get?
you: as in, what do they look like?
lucas: could be that. one of my mates told me if, for example, one person imagines their perfect partner in a club and another person sees their partner on a romantic walk on the beach, those people probably wouldn't be compatible in the long term. for me, i can picture the room so clearly. it's got a big hotel bed and a fancy chandelier, and on the desk i've put a big bouquet of roses to surprise her with.
his line of sight veered off into the distance, the sky losing more of its light with each passing minute.
lucas: the space is big and empty and i'm just waiting for her to walk through the door.
you: you want someone to be the center of your world. to make your empty room come alive.
lucas held your eye again, like he did that morning, only this time his gaze didn't feel so piercing. perhaps you were now looking through him.
lucas: i want someone who makes me feel excited to endure life's trials and tribulations. what about yourself?
you: hmm, i don't think i really picture my future husband in any particular place. in my mind's eye, it's like a closeup shot. i can't really tell what's in the background. it's not important. he's gripping my face and staring deep into my eyes, and i'm letting him. it would take a lot for me to feel that comfortable with someone. but i want him there.
lucas: wow. and i bet you probably wouldn't call yourself a romantic either.
someone's cellphone buzzed and you mentally cursed the sound. you pursed your lips, giving lucas a faint wave goodbye before heading over to sit with lottie. hope finally had her chance with lucas and priya practically skipped to henrik's table.
lottie: these pairings should be interesting to watch.
you sipped your wine once more with a sigh.
you: does that mean your date fell a bit short?
lottie crossed her arms and leaned back against the chair.
lottie: it was nice. henrik's alright. he's bubbly, and flirty, and funny, but he's like that with everyone.
she rotated her head towards you.
lottie: i want a man to make me feel like i'm the only woman he's ever laid eyes on. i need to be his firebrand, his muse, and his masterpiece.
the corners of your lips turned down in a sort of grimace of approval. lottie's confidence too never ceased to amaze.
you: you sound like a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it.
the dash of contempt in your voice must've been evident. she laughed.
lottie: that's what lucas said his type was?
you took a few moments to breathe, knowing the admission you were about to make would only rile yourself up.
you: i'd be lying if i said it didn't sound like hope.
lottie: oh please, (Y/N). hope might know what she wants, but she needs to learn how to keep it, and carry it without crushing it between her fingers.
you chuckled. lottie turned back to you once she could sense your irritation had subsided.
lottie: you think they did something in the bedroom today?
you: it seems a bit bold for lucas. although you never know with hope.
lottie: my first instinct was to be shocked at how openly she threw herself at him. but cheaters are always the most controlling partners.
you found yourself exchanging knowing glances with lottie, though yours was a bit more wary, and hers mischievous. she softened as she noticed how you seemed to keep losing yourself in thought.
lottie: you like lucas then?
you: i'm attracted to him. i was drawn to him right from the start, but that thing with hope has kinda put me off him. plus, henrik really surprised me. there's... more to him than i would've guessed.
lottie: then i guess i ought to warn you: priya fancies the pants off him.
you: she told you?
lottie: she didn't have to.
lottie gestured at the pairing in question with the slightest movement of her head. the two of them were giggling and mimicking each other's movements, each just as animated as the other. you couldn't help but shift your view slightly to the side, and found that hope and lucas, to your surprise, were nearly the same. hope had gotten lucas to reach volumes probably unheard of for such a posh lad. they seemed to have a spirited back and forth about something, then both picked their glasses up and cheers'ed to it.
lottie: i still don't think either of them would fully jump ship though.
you: i know priya likes ibrahim quite a lot. it would be difficult for henrik to turn her head.
lottie: well... she's not the only one.
you: what do you mean?
she raised an eyebrow at you, as though you'd just said the sky was green.
lottie: (Y/N)... isn't it obvious? marisol is totally not over ibrahim.
you couldn't even recall the last time she'd mentioned him. you only remembered their short-lived relationship being full of turmoil. although, that did facilitate marisol pulling you for a rather enlightening chat.
you: she's too proud to go back to him.
lottie seemed to stifle a laugh.
lottie: what does that mean?
you: nothing bad, just that he didn't like her putting any eggs in anyone else's baskets. but she felt like she needed to in order to get ahead in the competition. even though gary would've picked her over hannah any day of the week anyway.
lottie parsed through your words, taking them in agonizingly slowly, such that you silently rebuked yourself for suddenly divulging so much - and so candidly.
you: that's not to say hannah did anything wrong either-
lottie: i know. i get it.
she pulled back, going quiet for a few more minutes before the final dates ended with a ping.
priya: i can't wait to debrief with you girls!
running back towards your direction, priya bore the biggest, giddiest of smiles on her face. by the time everything was said and done, the sunset was swimming in scarlet orange and deep fuchsia. your jeep brought you back to the villa by the time the evening blues had set in, though.
cutting through the foyeur, there was a noticeable lack of commotion coming from the back garden. lucas and henrik volunteered to scout ahead in case the others were laying some kind of trap. a single one of henrik's footsteps struck hollow against the wooden patio, and all of a sudden, the whole vicinity lit up with pink, purple, and blue neon.
a disco ball was strung up over the pool, being lit by a little purple spotlight hidden between the sun loungers. there were statues in the shape of glowing pink hearts, ibiza tropical house was blasting, and a cocktail cart was set up by the kitchen island.
marisol: welcome to love island!
one of priya's hands clambered excitedly for one of yours, dragging you into the dancing lights.
henrik: woah, is all this for us?
bobby: of course! except, i think the cocktail cart is mostly for rocco.
noah: and priya, since her first night could've been better.
priya laid both hands over her heart, pouting her lower lip out but beaming with gratitude.
priya: you guys... this is so sweet. i'm glad we can all share a fun night together now that things have chilled down a bit!
lucas: yeah, i'd be quite interested to have a rocco original cocktail.
rocco: i'll make you one, bruv! but i also promised myself i wouldn't hog the cart, since i hogged the blender pretty much all afternoon. speaking of which, you lads need to get busy in the gym, cos we've got protein shakes for days!
priya: ooh, i'll get the first round then! rahim, help me cut up some fruit?
ibrahim: yes ma'am.
everyone broke off into groups, though there was something distinctly more lively, even carefree, about the night's atmosphere. bobby seemed eager to entertain the new boys and henrik was quick to return his energy, whilst lucas kept his hands on his hips, looking on like a supportive parent.
priya and ibrahim got to work in the kitchen, and lottie appeared to still be in her reflective mood, but chose to sit on the barstool adjacent her former frenemy.
marisol waved you over from the sofa nook directly under the terrace, all by herself, for once.
you: how'd you get on without us, babes?
you allowed your weight to fall onto the cushions, soon realizing they barely disguised the hard wood underneath. she snickered as you bit your lip with discomfort.
marisol: i've just about had my fill of the boys for the day. but it was interesting. they had a lot to say about henrik and lucas.
noah: (Y/N), mind if i pull you?
hearing his timbre brought everything else to a screeching halt. you twisted your head around, as marisol angled hers up, the both of you covered by his sizable shadow.
marisol: i was actually just going.
despite no evidence of her statement, she cheerfully hopped up and wandered further off into the garden. you were left nearly speechless as you scooted into the empty space she'd made, noah occupying your seat with both elbows on his knees. you placed a hand on the stretch of bench behind you, leaning back to increase the distance between you and him. he was too entrenched in thought to notice.
you almost didn't want to interrupt his concentration.
you: so... you know other people can see us, right?
noah chuckled. it was a small comfort to know that whatever he was about to say wasn't that dire, at least.
noah: i had a long chat with hope this morning, about how to navigate getting to know new people. she was insistent that neither of us should close ourselves off. so, i guess, we'll see if she meant that.
his shoulders remaining put, he turned his head to face you.
noah: that's why i didn't feel right about where our conversation left off.
you exhaled deeply, straightening your posture and inching into the gap.
you: you shouldn't. i've been whinging for days now that i'd rather just get shot down, rather than leave things up in the air.
noah: i wasn't trying to shoot you down, though. i don't want to close myself off to you. it's just... i can't devote myself to two people at the same time. you're smart, (Y/N), haven't you seen any of those studies that completely debunk the concept of multitasking?
you giggled. if noah did have a funny side to him, you were intent on drawing it out more often.
you: what, so multitasking isn't real?
noah: no. if we try to focus on two different tasks at once, one of them will always come out worse due to lack of attention - even if we convince ourselves that we put the same amount of time and care into both.
he seemed a bit too antsy to collect his thoughts properly, his eyes flashing across the floor, over towards the kitchen, and off into the night.
you: walk with me.
you led him at a snail's pace around the far end of the pool, next to the wooden fence that separated love island from the real island you all were on; the one with gorgeous vineyards, terracotta roofs, and artisanal cheeses. you were far enough away from the other islanders that all their chatter melted into an indiscernible blob.
hope emerged from the villa in a different outfit than she'd had on prior, slowing herself down to look in your direction, although noah stared only at his own feet. his one hand gripped the other by the wrist behind his back. you made your own body language cordial by folding your arms across your chest.
the lights at the bottom of the pool reflected aqua blue across noah's side. he cracked his neck.
noah: i wish i didn't have to ask so much of you. the fact that you're even willing to speak to me now is a testament to your patience. i hope one day i'll find the right words to thank you, sincerely.
you stopped dead in your tracks, prompting him to do the same.
you: are you alright?
you looked up at him through knitted brows, slightly skeptical of the weight he gave his words. noah did tend to be a deep thinker. he acted like a kind of sponge for everyone else's worries, believing himself selfish if he couldn't carry other peoples' burdens on top of his own.
noah: look, (Y/N), i wasn't lying when i said your friendship means a lot to me. you're the only one in here i'd really trust for advice, but i don't wanna keep forcing you to wait on me while i keep hurting you.
you rotated yourself to face him, now parallel with the kitchen, where you could see a few of the others had gathered to watch your conversation unfold.
you: well, if you really want me to be your friend, i guess i'll just have to have your back. now what's going on?
noah sighed.
noah: i found out that hope had locked herself in the bedroom alone with lucas earlier.
your eyes widened, still not fully convinced it was even true until noah said it.
noah: i walked by and saw her in there, so she said she'd just close the door while she changed, and we could talk afterwards. that's why i was waiting outside the room when you found me. i guess he must've been further inside, i didn't see. then when she was done, she opened the door just a crack and pulled me outside so quickly.
you: did you ask her about it?
noah: right before you guys left for the date, i saw lucas come outside, and the bedroom door was wide open. i made a comment about it, but hope was all cagey. and... it's not even that i think they kissed in there... it's just... such a bad look. for her most of all.
you: well then... you should know... i noticed it right when you did as well. lottie too. all four of us girls coming from the dressing room basically saw what you saw.
noah shook his head, the muscles in his jaw flexing as he seemed to seethe more than you've ever seen him do before.
noah: this is so childish. i hate drama. i don't wanna have to hear other people speculating about it. especially since hope assured me she'd be open and honest about everything.
you: that part sounds like it needs to be taken up with hope. but i can tell lottie and the others not to gossip.
noah turned his head back at the kitchen. several people turned around in kind as though they weren't snooping.
noah: i don't think i can have as thorough of a discussion as this warrants tonight.
you shrugged softly, his mood clearly in need of lightening up.
you: hang out with the new boys tonight. it's their party.
noah: i will. a bit later, maybe.
he paused, almost about to walk off.
noah: thanks. you are a real friend for this, (Y/N). i owe you.
noah traversed the length of the pool again, veering sharply off to the side so as to avoid even looking at the kitchen. gary and rocco both dapped him up as he approached them on the sun loungers. you made your way over to the cocktail cart, and hope decided to go after him just before you arrived.
lottie clicked her tongue once she was out of earshot.
lottie: looks like you've been busy.
ibrahim was off in his own world mixing drinks, while priya stood cleaning glasses and marisol propped herself up with her elbows on the counter.
you: guys, noah just made it very clear to me that he does not want to be in the center of any drama.
everyone carried on what they were doing. only lottie seemed to acquiesce with a raise of her eyebrows, suggesting to you that she at least hadn't told anyone else yet.
you: and, i know i've had my fair share of tiffs with her, but it might be nice if we girls tried to make friends with hope again.
priya: wasn't your last attempt just last night? don't you remember how disastrous it was?
marisol: i do what i can to stay friendly with her, but i have to admit, she doesn't often let her guard down. it can be hard to feel like you've made any ground with someone like that.
lottie: understatement of the century.
you: i just feel like, if hope doesn't think she has any friends to rely on, she'll just resort to latching harder and harder onto noah. and that won't do anyone any favors - including herself.
ibrahim: voila!
completely unaware of the seriousness of your conversation, ibrahim proudly displayed his creation in the center of the kitchen island. it consisted of some kind of purple liquid in a martini glass, with something red floating in it.
lottie: what on earth is that, rahim...
ibrahim: i call it "violet man".
lottie: it's certainly violet. but why does it have a tomato in it?
you: that's his shield, isn't it?
ibrahim responded by holding a fist up for you to bump with your own.
ibrahim: (Y/N) gets it.
priya: violet man is rahim's favorite superhero. it's well cute.
he used the same hand to cover his eyes, clearly flustered.
lottie: so the colors are bang on. that doesn't explain having a slice of tomato in a cocktail, babes.
ibrahim: just try it.
lottie dipped her pinky finger in the drink and tasted it cynically.
lottie: wait... is that cayenne and tequila?
priya: and a splash of tabasco.
lottie: i stand corrected. i'll have one of these, please.
ibrahim smirked and handed the drink to priya, getting started on another one.
marisol: rahim, why does a bloke called violet man have a red shield?
you: i always interpreted violet man as an environmental commentary. like, because the ozone layer absorbs ultraviolet rays, and if it fully disappears we'll all be red and sunburnt?
ibrahim paused his stirring to ponder a moment.
ibrahim: i just thought it looked cool.
you and the other girls shook your heads at him in unison. priya took one last sip of her drink before fetching a pitcher full of another kind of cocktail from the fridge. this one was clear, but brimming with plenty of ice, lime wedges, and herbs.
priya: i made a backup batch in case the new boys' palettes weren't enlightened enough to appreciate the violet man.
she made a line of all the glasses she'd just got done cleaning, and expertly poured a portion into each one, with a single sweeping motion.
you: wow, priya, where'd you learn to do that?
priya: i'm an estate agent, babes... what do you think i did at uni?
lottie swiveled around on the barstool.
lottie: COCKTAILS ARE READY!
the other islanders all came funneling in.
rocco: what a beautiful alarm sound.
bobby: these look professional! what are they?
priya: i call it the "cai-priya-inha"... working title... but it's basically a crossover with a mojito, since we didn't have cachaça but we did have rum and mint.
lucas: what's that purple one?
ibrahim: funny you should ask, mate.
ibrahim had just finished his second violet man, transferring half the contents of his stirring glass to a glass that lottie held out for him.
ibrahim: i've accidentally made a double. down to try it, lucas?
lucas's dimples made an appearance, although he wasn't exactly smiling.
lucas: accidentally?
gary: go on, rahim, i'll have it.
ibrahim merrily took another martini glass out from the cocktail cart.
ibrahim: yes, gaz, you legend!
as ibrahim poured another serving for gary and topped it with its signature tomato, everyone else helped themselves to one of priya's crossover cocktails.
hope: what should we toast to?
you: ooh, lucas is great at this.
a few of the boys patted him on the back expectantly, and muttered faint words of encouragement. lucas blinked for a moment.
lucas: to right here and right now.
some of the others repeated his little mantra, lavishing praises onto him before taking a drink. you met his eye just for a second. he quickly turned his attention down into his cup.
gary: marisol, would you mind going for a chat?
unexpected pairings began to form. gary, it would seem, surprised even marisol with his proposition. they headed for the bean bags as henrik took priya to sit on one of the daybeds. ibrahim placed a hand on bobby's shoulder and the two of them appeared to scheme together, as they had earlier in the morning. you watched them take off, tutting to yourself, until you noticed lucas roaming away separately.
you: lucas, hey.
as you caught up to him, he happened to turn around at the same moment your arm was outstretched to tap him on the back. your fingertips just barely brushed over the exposed skin between his collarbones.
you: i, er... i'm sorry if i put you on the spot back there.
you tried and failed to retract your hand subtly, blushing.
lucas: oh, that was nothing, don't worry about it.
he put his free hand in his pocket, resting his weight on one leg. he surely didn't mean to, but lucas gave a model-like quality to each movement he made. everything down to his natural expression was glamorous, but perhaps that created a certain pressure to keep up appearances.
lucas: i hope you didn't think it was stupid - what i said.
you: you mean reusing the same toast? of course not. i said it was good and it still was the second time.
lucas: good. to be honest, i couldn't even believe i thought of it the first time.
you: really?
lucas: yeah, i know i gave you the opposite impression, but i'm actually terrible at coming up with lines. i'm, er, not very smooth.
you couldn't help but crack a smile at his earnestness.
you: well, maybe i'd rather you just be yourself then, whatever that may entail.
his lips formed a similar shape.
lucas: i think i can handle that much.
he allowed his shoulders to relax and his whole being seemed to loosen up; still attractive, of course, but more human.
lucas: it's funny... you have a way of disarming me. i think that's the only reason i could chat to you without making a fool of myself.
you: me?
you scoffed in disbelief, the corners of your lips still curling slowly upwards.
you: nobody's ever said that to me before.
lucas: i mean it in a good way.
you: i know, i figured. i'm just surprised. you seem so... experienced.
lucas: with spanish cheeses, maybe.
you: you're well-traveled then?
lucas: to the balearics. i used to come quite often when i was younger and cared about going to the biggest parties - and didn't care about overcharging my parents' card. i didn't mention it before because that's not really who i am anymore.
you: well, i'm glad you could tell me now.
lucas fluttered his eyes shut and bowed his head in a demure gesture, seemingly more willing to poke fun at his posh upbringing.
from across the lawn, a string of guttural coughs and choking noises echoed from where gary was sat across marisol. even in the moody neon lighting, his face looked ten shades redder.
gary: bloody hell, rahim! i just swallowed a clump of cayenne!
ibrahim: i doubled the liquid to try to break it up, guess that didn't work...
lottie, still positioned near the refrigerator, scrambled to take out a jug of milk and pour a helping into a nearby empty martini glass. she teetered in her high heels to deliver the aid into gary's free hand without spilling. though upon reaching him, his spastic movements caused the contents of the glass to overflow onto his skin.
marisol up and left at the first sign of spilled liquid, leaving lottie flailing in her attempt to soothe gary. his flailing too ceased after a few moments, still coughing every so often but perhaps not in as much pain. he took off for the kitchen and lottie trailed behind.
you turned to lucas as the scene subsided, chuckling in tandem before another sound rang out.
priya: lucas! (Y/N)!
priya and henrik had merged their little huddle with that of noah and hope, all lounging on two of the daybeds and chatting into the space between. henrik waved both arms at you, as it seemed he loved to do. lucas caught your eye and pointed his head in the group's direction, ushering you over.
henrik: careful, lucas, this discussion is growing a bit uncouth!
the others laughed and shrugged their shoulders in playful confusion. hope and priya didn't seem to be having any trouble getting along.
noah: we're just playing a game.
hope: we're trying to read each other's minds.
priya tapped henrik on the arm, prompting him to make room for you on their mattress. hope appeared in no rush to do the same for lucas.
lucas: anything specific or are we trying to guess each other's whole family histories?
priya: we're trying to guess a specific word in noah's head.
henrik: yeah, and the clues he's given so far are that it's wet, sticky, and white.
lucas put a hand daintily over his mouth.
lucas: oh my.
noah: and you can have it on a sandwich.
henrik: ah, mate, remind me to never have a sandwich from you...
priya giggled.
priya: i know what henrik thinks it is.
henrik: i think i know it a little better than you.
you and the girls rolled your eyes, while the boys seemed to snort in laughter.
lucas: well, is it anyone's go? i reckon the word is mayonnaise.
noah: it is!
henrik: who just has mayo on a sandwich?
lucas: i dunno; some free range eggs, homemade sourdough toast, and an olive oil mayo? sounds alright.
you: you should talk to bobby some time, he might like to exchange recipes.
hope: speaking of which, how are you boys settling in? finding the villa acceptable?
henrik: oh, the villa is amazing!
lucas: it's way bigger than i would've thought. and everyone's been lovely.
priya: have the og boys been good to you? i know there was a bit of time where us girls dipped out to get ready.
lucas: oh yeah, everyone's been nothing but nice. and people have had great things to say about each other. noah, i heard all kinds of compliments about you from hope - i pulled her for a chat before the date, just so you knew.
you and noah both had your reactions silently, but it was just as heavy a weight lifted off either of you that lucas didn't consider his time alone with hope to be a secret. hope didn't change her demeanor, unfazed by the revelation. she would never lose control of an opportunity to be right.
noah: no hard feelings from me. everyone's gotta graft if they wanna make it in here.
priya: ugh, so i'm constantly reminded.
she placed a gentle hand on your shoulder from next to you.
priya: i'm gonna head off to bed. i can only take so much grafting for one day.
you got up alongside her, noticing several of the pink light-up hearts had been switched off and the yard was beginning to empty. you took one last swig of the cocktail priya had made. the rum and sugar created the perfect sweet base for the lime to brighten up, and the mint was just subtle enough to enhance both flavors without being overpowering. it was almost like how priya said grounded personalities can do with a bit of livening up at times.
you dropped your used glass off at the kitchen before stepping inside.
you: priya, that drink was delicious, babes.
priya: aw, i'm glad you thought so. i'd still really like to have a debrief with you in the morning, and the other girls too, if you can get them onboard. after spending time with both new boys and rahim, i have... mixed... feelings.
you: of course. i'm always here if you need to unload anything. and it might be nice to get everyone involved for a bit of girl talk.
priya: you know, i don't actually hate the way that sounds, coming from you, (Y/N).
bobby entered the living room just as you and priya were about to ascend the stairs. he steadied himself, his eyes sincere and full of intent, which priya caught onto and left you with a pat on the back.
bobby: hey. i saw that you were pretty popular with the new guys.
you: yeah, but we don't have to get into it if you'd rather not.
bobby: no, no, i'm happy for you. at least that way you'll be safe in the competition.
you: wow, that's sweet of you to say.
bobby: don't mention it. listen, i just thought we might wanna talk about the sleeping arrangements.
you: absolutely. we are still in a couple, so, i'd wanna be completely respectful of your feelings.
bobby: me too, i mean, i feel the same. i just don't want you to be uncomfortable sleeping outside. i could sleep outside while you take the bed, or we could take turns... or... and i'm not suggesting this for any nefarious reason-
you: of course i wouldn't mind sharing the bed with you, bobs. we're both adults and i more than trust you.
bobby's stiffness finally broke.
bobby: thank goodness. i mean that you trust me. not anything weird.
you gave him an encouraging smile, to which he raised an arm and beckoned you up the stairs. you had almost missed the volume and energy of the communal bathroom and bedroom whilst everyone was puttering about. one of the first to finish your bedtime routine, you plopped down contentedly in your own bed once more, seeing bobby had engineered a line of pillows down the center.
the first girl to remove her makeup and party outfit, hope, still occupied the bed next to yours. you psyched yourself up to say something.
you: hey babes, just wanted to say i know we've had our differences, but thank you for not making a fuss out of it. lucas and henrik seemed to enjoy tonight, and that probably wouldn't have been possible if us girls were at each other's throats.
hope: hun, it was the least i could do. if you're down, i'll tell you all about my date with lucas tomorrow morning. you might be interested for strategy's sake.
you: really? priya and i were just saying it might be cool to have a girls chat in the morning. we can meet on the terrace. if you want to, of course.
hope: babes, i wanna help you get your man. lucas is just a bit of eye candy for me, it'd take a whole lot to turn my head away from noah.
you nodded to yourself, not entirely expecting hope to make this much sense.
you: if you'd really be interested then... let's do it. i don't see why not.
the other girls came shuffling into the room. lottie, adept at picking up on the conversations you were having, flashed a smirk at you as she got into bed. now that she wasn't clouded by her insecurities, it seemed she had a knack for seeing peoples' true intentions - seeing them as they are.
priya squealed with joy when she saw you, and marisol sent you a wave from under her covers.
priya: (Y/N) is back, the gang's all here. get in!
just as the bright white fluorescents were about to go out, someone screamed from inside the reverberative first floor toilet, a genuine shock paralyzing everyone in the bedroom next door. ibrahim and noah bolted up, realizing the source sounded like gary.
gary: ah, what the bollocks!
lottie: pardon me?
there was some muffled arguing - or perhaps just frantic yelling.
gary: lozza, what was in that glass before you put the milk in?
lottie sped to the doorway of the room, where she could yell back more effectively.
lottie: just ibrahim's drink!
gary: you mean the cayenne and tabasco drink?!
henrik and lucas each had their own bed, hearing everything from the corner of the room.
henrik: oh, i don't think gary washed his hand off before handling his...
lucas: happens to the best of us.
a few minutes, presumably of washing up, went by and a trudging gary was led by noah and rahim back into the bedroom - to rampant applause from the rest of you.
gary: piss off, you helmets.
bobby slid into bed on the opposite side of the pillow wall.
bobby: how's this?
you: thank you for prioritizing my comfort, bobby, but we don't need to have this. keep it if you really want, but, i trust you, remember?
he looked unsure at first, but fell into a rhythm placing the pillows back underneath each of your heads. he paused.
bobby: just say the word, and i'll do anything i can for you, while we're still coupled up. i, er, don't want any part of your experience with me to be awkward.
you: i appreciate it. goodnight, bobby.
for maybe the first time, closing your eyes, you were excited by the idea of waking up again on love island - excited to experience it with your fellow islanders. as darkness fell over the room, you found yourself praying it wouldn't be the last time.
(a/n): at this point i have gotten about a million details regarding marisol wrong.. fanney read marisol's wiki challenge: impossible
the last time you slept outside, marisol was right there with you - in the same bed, in the same boat. but this time you were completely and utterly alone, as you were in the competition. it became increasingly hard to believe that anyone in that villa was on your side.
shifting a little too far to one side, your left arm dangled over the edge of the bed, where it was also not protected by the linen canopy overhead. the sensation of the blaring morning sun all but frying your skin, woke you from your hard earned rest. your first instinct was to check the time, although you'd rather not stare into the unforgiving reflection of the phone screen in your current state. but from what you could gather it seemed early enough. the sky was bright, the grass was green, and despite the low lows of last night, the day truly felt like it was your oyster.
you got up with the intention of stretching your legs, already feeling little mounds of mosquito bites around your ankles. you bent over and touched your toes, reveling in what you thought would be your only moment of reprieve all day.
henrik: tactical dudes, incoming!
a man's voice sounded out, then his face appeared upside down between your legs.
lucas: excuse us, is this a bad time?
you couldn't tell if it was due to your position - or the fact that your pyjama shorts didn't leave much to the imagination - or maybe you were just deathly shy, because your face heated up at lightspeed. you straightened yourself out and tidied up your hair, your cheeks now only blushing an appropriate amount (and it was the ones on your face that faced their direction).
the first man was tall and slender, sporting blond hair down to his shoulders and a fair complexion that revealed a handful of beauty spots on his chest. he wore a goofy grin that left his eyes half-shut. if you didn't know any better, you'd probably assume he was blazed out of his mind - and his banter wasn't helping.
henrik: is this the way everyone gets welcomed in here?
you couldn't help but stutter, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear gingerly.
lucas: i'm really sorry if we came in too quickly. i should've thought to knock... somewhere...
the second man had a languid charm about him, allowing his dimpled smile and half-baked jokes to ease your nerves. his skin was honey-colored and boasted a healthy glow, his dark brown hair styled upwards in a neat quiff. one of his shoulders was adorned with a large tattoo of a motorcycle. he clearly cared a lot about his appearance, and his demeanor carried the same amount of elegance.
you: some people don't get a very warm welcome, unfortunately, but i hereby give my word that your first day will be exceptional.
you mock curtsied, prompting the blond to bow back and the brunet to chuckle breathily.
you: my name is-
lucas: (Y/N). i've had my eye on you. i'm lucas.
he reached for your hand tantalizingly slowly, and held it with your knuckles facing up, as though he meant to kiss it. but he instead gave your hand a vigorous shake, gauging your reaction.
henrik: yeah, consider us your fanclub! i'm henrik, by the way.
you held your hand towards him too, expecting him to do something with it, but henrik swerved himself between your two arms and gave you a snug embrace. he then pulled away after a respectful amount of time, giving your back a few friendly pats. you got the sense that he was like this with everyone.
you: so, you two have been watching everything that's happened in here?
henrik and lucas exchanged knowing glances with one another. in combination with the physical height advantage that both men held over you, the moment made you feel almost like a nervous virgin receiving pity performances from two male dancers. they seemed amused by how you shrunk into yourself, but more so than being bashful, you just felt twinges of disappointment and dismay at the fact that this conversation was made to be flirtatious right from the start. as opposed to anything genuine.
lucas: believe me, i would've preferred not to but... there was just... so much of note.
he crossed his arms and laughed cheekily again, perhaps not ready to show you his cards just yet. henrik, however, was an open book.
henrik: i'll say... practically the most shared meme in all of twitter was born on the very first day!
mortified, your eyes widened involuntarily, as your mind began scrolling through every single thing you'd said thus far.
lucas: it wasn’t you, don’t worry, (Y/N). i’d love to divulge a bit more, but i’m afraid we might get summoned before the group to do our customary first-day-pleasantries in a minute.
your attention flickered over towards the villa. its doors were closed and all was still. you knew that the group-oriented thing to do would probably be to wake everyone else up for a chat with the new boys, but something made you bite your lip. this was a rare opportunity you were given.
you turned back to the shirtless, swim trunk clad men in front of you, their sunscreen-slicked shoulders glistening in the daylight.
you: well, if my guess is correct, i’d say it’s a bit early and the others might not be up for a while. sit!
you gestured to the unmade daybed you’d just slept in.
you: i mean, it doesn’t have to be there specifically but, have a seat in the shade, why don’t you?
lucas took you up on the offer, plopping down beside you at the front of the bed, since henrik didn’t appear to have moved an inch.
henrik: i like the sun. i’m fine out here, thanks.
lucas leaned in but whispered unsubtly.
lucas: he’s from sweden, he doesn’t get to see it very often.
henrik: for your information, i happen to live on the isle of wight now. so, yeah, i still don’t see much of the sun.
as you giggled with the new boys, your apprehension melted and you found yourself suitably charmed. but this only strengthened your resolve to speak to their least rehearsed selves - especially lucas’s.
after the laughter dissipated you sent lucas an expectant look, although he seemed confused as to why.
lucas: alright?
you: you were divulging…
he grinned at your forwardness, relenting.
lucas: sorry to keep you waiting. what would you like to know?
you made a point of thinking very exaggeratedly, looking up at the heavens and nestling your chin between your thumb and finger. but on the inside, you still harbored a palpable excitement at the prospect of learning some valuable secrets.
you: well… first of all… who was the meme?
henrik: it was the look on rocco’s face during that game of truth or dare! i’ve never seen a person encapsulate the word “yikes” so perfectly with one expression before.
henrik seemed to crack himself up just by remembering the image, but your recollection of that day was hazy.
lucas: between the three of us, of course. there was a bit of a narrative behind that picture that was also going viral. but, i wouldn’t wanna stir the pot by bringing it into the villa.
any semblance of a smile leapt from your lips. even the deepest, darkest recesses of your memory held no possible context for the meme in question.
lucas: anything else you wanna know?
you tried to snap yourself out of it.
you: hmm, was there anything that really surprised you? in a good or a bad way, i’m not judging.
the two men’s gazes seemed to find one another again, likely the same thing coming to both of their minds.
lucas: there definitely was.
henrik: if you ask me, having a kiss with someone - with all the necessary qualifiers - is never a bad thing.
lucas: in my mind, things move a bit quickly in this villa as it stands, but this kiss…
lucas raised his eyebrows and exhaled through puffed cheeks, as though just watching the kiss in question had tired him out. your eyes darted back and forth between both boys in hopes of catching any morsel of a detail they might give. henrik and lucas both were apparently all too polite.
henrik: this is fun! any other questions, (Y/N)?
you: hmm, i hope your answers aren’t clouded by your memberships in my fanclub… but, who do you think is the most popular?
the two of them howled at your joke. lucas took a second to compose himself, looking into the distance opposite you, his jaw muscles flexing conveniently in your line of sight.
lucas: i know everything i’ve said so far might’ve come across a bit coy. i’d like to avoid as much drama as possible… but the answer to this question is pretty much universally understood.
henrik: it’s not even controversial online - which is saying something.
lucas turned his head back towards you and made the most direct eye contact you’d ever experienced from an islander in the villa.
lucas: it’s you, (Y/N).
you blinked, your first instinct to recoil sheepishly and look over to henrik. but, as the rosy red flushed across your cheeks once again, henrik seemed to nod in confirmation. both men smirked at how instantly you became a mumbling mess.
suddenly, the back door of the villa flung itself open. and from the velocity, you would’ve expected everyone inside to come pouring out in a stampede. but luckily and hilariously, marisol’s lone figure waddled her way to the coffee machine in the outdoor kitchen. you and the new boys collectively breathed a sigh of relief.
you: babes! marisol!
you waved to your uncaffeinated friend, and upon seeing fresh faces, her own lit up as much as her morning grogginess would allow.
marisol: new boys?! well, come on down! i’ll put the kettle on and make you both a cuppa!
this was the most excited you could ever remember seeing her. you thought back to the playful disdain she seemed to have when she realized the boy she fancied most was rocco, wondering if she really meant to jump ship before even exploring that connection.
by the time you, lucas, and henrik had made it to the barstools in the kitchen, a half-awake lottie had wandered out of the communal bedroom. although, it appeared that no amount of sleepiness could override a certain part of her personality.
lottie: marisol, (Y/N)! who are your friends?
you: this is henrik and lucas. they just arrived and i only noticed because i happened to be sleeping outside. marisol and i were on our way to wake everyone else up.
lottie seemed to back down and she put on her friendliest face for the new boys. marisol shook both of their hands too.
lottie: sorry, girls, i think it’s a bit earlier than i’m usually up. but don’t expend yourselves. i’ve got this.
lottie positioned herself halfway between the back door and the bedroom door, taking advantage of the echo which was a result of the foyeur’s tall ceiling.
lottie: NEW BOYS, EVERYONE OUT OF BED!
hope and priya came dashing out as though they weren’t even asleep prior. the boys slowly but surely followed, perhaps not as incentivized. but eventually, the tea and coffee were done, welcome cheese toasties were made, and henrik and lucas were able to introduce themselves to everyone.
while there was a commotion in the kitchen, bobby took the opportunity to pull you out of the mix with a gentle hand on your shoulder.
bobby: hey, (Y/N), is now a good time?
you nodded and ushered him over to the emptier corner of the kitchen, only now noticing that his other hand was holding an absolutely picturesque iced coffee.
you: wait… did you make that for me?
bobby: yeah, you said something yesterday about me making you another coffee in the morning.
he offered you the glass. there was a light dusting of brown powders over the top, like he’d specially prepared his spice mixture again.
you: i mean, yeah, but, that was just a joke. considering what happened after that… you really shouldn’t have, bobs.
bobby: don’t mention it. and, i hope this doesn’t come off as weird or anything, to me it’s just a coffee. feel free to ask for one whenever you’d like.
your eyebrows softened as you beamed at him with gratitude.
you: i don’t think i could do that to you, as much as i appreciate the offer.
bobby: it’s not a problem, really. and er, look, (Y/N), i know how difficult the competition’s been for you… basically since the beginning. i hope you have some luck with one of these new blokes, and i’ll be here for you as a friend. i saw what happened between you and gaz as well. or, erm, i actually saw him getting pretty frisky with lottie and figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with that.
you: ugh, so does everybody know?
bobby: well, i’m not saying this to look down on you. but unfortunately i can’t speak for anyone else. secrets don’t often stay secret in here.
you played with the metal straw in your drink, hoping its rhythmic clinking against the ice would cool or clear your head.
you: thanks, bobby. and i truly hope we can stay friends, cos you’re proving to be exactly the kind of person i need in my corner. i’ll be there for you too.
bobby looked as though he didn’t expect you to return his sentiment, but left you with a smile and firm nod before heading back over to chat with henrik and lucas.
you stood a moment more by your lonesome, a longer sigh than you knew you could muster escaped from your lips. you rotated your head toward the kitchen island, intending to return, but before you could move either foot, the crowd was already relocating. a few of the boys peeled off to either lift weights or nap on the sun loungers, but henrik and lucas remained at the center of the action.
hope had one of her hands tightly wrapped around lucas’s, such that their forearms were parallel, as she led him to the firepit much like a leashed dog. marisol and priya both seemed rather enthusiastic in chatting up henrik along the way, whilst lottie nonchalantly trailed a ways behind.
your face broke out into a sort of half-grin; half entertained to see that hope had enough gall to make such a move, and half enraged for the same reason. you couldn’t help but shake your head at the sight. your eye flashed back to the gym for a split second, only to find noah sitting upright on the bench, apparently viewing the same sight. if he felt anything remotely similar, he was certainly more adroit at hiding it.
priya: (Y/N), come join the party!
you took a page from noah's book and shook off the feeling. noah did also counsel you once that your confidence was what the boys found alluring. and hope had already cast her judgment on you, you reasoned, so leaving a good impression on the new boys was all that was left within your control.
out of the corner of your eye, a pair of pale arms waved energetically in your direction. henrik and lucas had been seated in the middle of the curved bench surrounded by the other girls on both sides. henrik's smile seemed to widen as he beckoned you over, his motions even capturing the attention of lucas, whose dimples returned upon turning to see you.
you made your way over, newly unbothered, as you simply figured they'd either like you or they wouldn't. but it was increasingly easy to have confidence in the former.
marisol: so how are we coming across to the public?
hope: who have you each got your eye on?
priya: how much can you bench press?
you sat beside lottie, who seemed determined to keep her distance from the boys, though their stunned laughter was still audible.
henrik: i thought this bunch might be a handful, but this is something else.
lottie: i'll show you who's a handful.
henrik: hah! so you're just as feisty in person? i don't mind that at all...
you and lucas both raised an eyebrow at this interaction. he attempted to remedy the mood.
lucas: we've already gotten to know you all a bit beforehand.
marisol: and what have you seen?
lucas: quite a lot.
lucas sent the most fleeting glance in your direction, which subsequently saw all of the girls' heads turn the same way. hope studied your body language, almost sizing you up, clearly under the assumption that lucas was referencing a scandalous moment of yours. you used all the courage in your being to stop yourself from backing down, continuing to sit tall and self-assured. lottie exhaled a quick chuckle and leaned back against the sofa cushion.
priya: well, what do you both do?
lucas: i'm a physiotherapist.
priya: what, like a physicist?
you: it means you must work with a lot of athletes, right?
lucas: well, only the ones that have been admitted to my hospital.
hope: it means you must give the best massages!
lucas looked down timidly and ran a hand through his hair.
lucas: i love to help others, what can i say?
marisol: and henrik, what about you?
henrik: i'm a climbing and wilderness survival instructor.
henrik was more lean than lucas, whose muscles and vascularity were obviously from lifting heavy weights, whereas henrik's slim torso and strong forearms suggested he was better suited to agile movements and carrying his own weight.
you: that explains the physique.
henrik's blush was undeniable across his fair skin.
henrik: it just comes naturally.
marisol: so you like to go climbing?
henrik: climbing, bouldering, hiking - really anything outdoors. but at night i like to cozy up and maybe play a video game. i like to have fun, you know?
lucas: i also spend my fair share of time outside. i've been into rowing lately.
you: sounds quite posh.
lucas: it might to some, but henrik and i were chatting earlier and he gave me the pass to say i actually do it in the viking way, not in a tory way.
the two of them fist bumped.
priya: you sound quite posh as well, lucas. more so than anyone i've talked to before.
hope: it's amazing, isn't it?
lucas shifted uncomfortably in his seat, taking his time coming up with something to say next. but a cellphone interrupted that process.
henrik: ah, fat luck i have! I GOT A TEXT
henrik and lucas, welcome to love island! this afternoon, both of you will choose three different girls to take for a cliffside wine and dine.
as the other islanders all had their various reactions, your instinct was to turn your head over to the other side of the lawn. some of the original boys, whose heads had been perked up listening to the announcement, retreated away like gophers into their tunnels. ibrahim grabbed bobby for an apparent huddle - about what, you couldn't be sure.
priya grabbed the hand that wasn't holding your coffee, jumping with elation.
priya: this is so exciting! i can't wait to see who gets picked!
marisol was behind her, the two of them looking like they meant to run off with you and strategize. but lottie cleared her throat from next to you.
lottie: (Y/N), could i grab you for a chat before all this goes down?
you tilted your head up at priya, silently pleading for some kind of advice, until marisol placed a hand on her shoulder and the two of them started off towards the kitchen. hope had led lucas - and henrik as an afterthought - over to the gym, where rocco began pointing to the other locations in the yard and explaining rather animatedly. only lottie remained by your side.
lottie: sorry that i snapped at you this morning.
you: there's nothing to apologize for. you changed your tune once i explained myself, and that's all i could ask for. thank you, lottie, really.
she smiled, throwing her leg over the seat so that she could angle herself more towards you.
lottie: i'm trying not to let my emotions control my actions anymore. i'm glad you could feel that. it really feels like we're turning a new leaf, you and me.
you: of course.
lottie: i hope henrik won't be sad that i've quelled a bit of my fire, but i won't be focusing my energy on him. that's what i wanted to chat to you about.
she sighed.
lottie: it was super obvious to you that hope fancies lucas, right?
you: abundantly so.
lottie: well, if i had to put money on it, i wouldn't be willing to bet she'd actually go for him. she's probably just gonna flirt, deny that she ever did, and get pissed if anyone tries to call her out on it.
you pursed your lips, nodding along with lottie's deductions.
lottie: she's on a mission to make your life as difficult as possible no matter what you choose to do. but, now that i'm on your team, i can't let that happen. i would strongly advise that you get with one of the new boys to stay safe.
you: wow, lottie, i never thought i'd be hearing you tactically plan for "the game".
lottie: i'm a group-oriented person - i care about all the girls. and i realize now that what's best for the group is for you to stay in it! you're rational, (Y/N), you're a problem solver. the rest of us with big egos and big personalities need someone like you around.
you: well, i appreciate you saying that. but, logically, there's one too many boys now so i think i'll at least be safe in the next elimination.
lottie: does this seem like logic island to you?! just please promise me you'll make an effort.
this was perhaps the most sense one of lottie's schemes had ever made to you. and on an island where all rules of logic seemed not to apply, the best you could do was try.
you: alright, i will.
lottie began to stand up and you found yourself ruminating on the events of the previous night.
you: wait, one more thing.
lottie: what is it, babes?
you: have you spoken to priya today? i would hate for things between the two of you to be left up in the air.
her weight fell back onto the seat, a hand swiping some pastel purple locks out of her face as her lips took to stammering.
lottie: it's... certainly my intention to set things right with her... i don't wanna pester her first thing in the morning, especially since the new boys have arrived, but i've cooled my head off now. you can trust that.
she squirmed a moment. you answered by standing up alongside her, aware that you were effectively asking her to beg forgiveness for all her wayward antics thus far.
you: well, i don't mean to pester you either, babes. and don't exclude yourself from the fun! this could be a great new opportunity for one of us girls.
lottie shrugged her shoulders contentedly.
lottie: i hope it's you, (Y/N). you deserve it most.
with that, she sauntered off towards the villa and disappeared into it. the other girls were nowhere to be found, with the exception of hope, who had remained chatting to noah at the gym. their conversation was seemingly serious enough that the other boys had already vacated the area. hope wedged herself between noah's legs, two dumbbells lying motionless beside either of his feet. the only thing somewhat novel about the sight being that the bulk of the talking was this time done by noah.
a few paces to the side, bobby, ibrahim, gary, and rocco sat at the pool's edge, with henrik and lucas hovering over the steps into the water. once he reciprocated your eye contact, bobby lit up and beckoned you to join them.
bobby: (Y/N), the new guys don't believe that the poolwater makes you smell funky for the rest of the day.
he said as soon as you drew near enough to hear, throwing in a big cheesy wink. the others didn't seem to notice, apart from rahim, who was definitely in its crossfires but didn't react in the slightest.
you: i honestly couldn't even think of a time i'd gone into the pool. so i guess i can't say.
henrik: bummer. it's no ocean but it's right here, and it's gotta at least smell better than nervous sweat. cannonball!
henrik, as if he were some kind of snow leopard, jumped over lucas and all of the stairs in the pool, landing with an enormous splash in the deep end. you were spared, but a few of the boys who sat along the poolside were hit by the water. lucas was absolutely drenched by it, wiping his face off with a sigh.
lucas: i suppose i'll be finding out whether i want to or not.
he settled for sitting with his legs folded on the top step of the pool, the water barely coming up to his pelvis. you giggled and took a seat on the concrete ledge above him.
henrik emerged from the water head up, so that his long hair was slicked back by the surface tension.
gary: mate, do you often jump across ravines when you go camping?
henrik: i would if i could find any!
you: so, i reckon you're enjoying the villa? what about you, lucas?
rocco: oh come on, (Y/N), ask them who they're feeling!
you tutted at him, growing flustered.
you: well i wouldn't want you boys to think i'm only concerned with being chosen.
lucas: no need to be shy about it - isn't that what we all came here for?
you: i famously said i only came here to have fun.
henrik: that's true! it was on the very first day, wasn't it?
you hid your giggle behind an open hand.
you: wow, you really are a member of my fanclub, aren't you?
henrik: i might as well be the president.
lucas pivoted his head as far back around as his neck would turn. his wet hair hanging over his eyes and dripping with chlorinated water, the rest of his face was made to contort in a slight discomfort. his eyes narrowed and the sides of his nose creased. but when paired with his chiseled jawline, he looked like a supermodel, your perspective serving as his camera lens.
lucas: having drinks with two dashing chaps doesn't sound like your idea of fun?
you: if we have stuff in common and the chat flows, then why not? but i'd never try to force anything, and if there's no connection, i'd definitely let the other person know it.
lucas averted his gaze away for the briefest of moments, digesting your statements before finally looking back to you, as if his analysis would only be complete upon meeting your eye again. you made the most of his attention.
you: besides, who said i'm gonna be having drinks with two dashing chaps?
he chuckled.
lucas: i can guarantee at least one.
somebody said something from off to the side - perhaps reacted to your interaction with lucas - but it was just noise which you willfully tuned out. lucas still showed no reluctance to maintain eye contact with you, almost like he was looking through you, and it felt good to feel seen. maybe too good to be true.
a man of this caliber, tossed into your enclosure. he wanted you and he wasn't afraid to make it known. it almost stung to remember that he'd most assuredly have to do the same to some of the other girls if he wanted to survive. luckily, hope wasn't about to let you forget.
hope: so, henrik, lucas, who all have you got your eye on?
straight from their discrete discussion, noah and hope both claimed a sun lounger and invited themselves into your conversation. the boys that sat on the pool's edge with their feet in the water, angled themselves to make an opening for the two newcomers. hope folded her legs on the seat of the sun lounger and kept herself upright, while noah leaned back, flicking his sunglasses from the top of his head down onto his nose.
henrik waded over to the side of the pool, placing his elbows on a stretch of concrete between rocco and gary.
henrik: hmm, i'm not totally sure yet. i'd like to get to know everyone in here at some point. and that includes the guys.
gary: it'd take a lot more than a wine and dine to get me to couple up with you, bruv.
henrik laughed.
henrik: i don't know if you'd be my type, to be fair. i like a girl that's outgoing, adventurous, and doesn't take herself too seriously. and, er, brunette usually.
gary jokingly winced as though henrik's rejection had pierced through his heart.
hope: that does sound like lottie, not gonna lie. and the two of you seemed to get on back there at the firepit.
henrik raised his eyebrows in consideration.
you: priya's a proper laugh as well, and definitely doesn't take herself seriously. i dunno that you'd have the same definition of "fun" - as in, i doubt she'd be keen to scale boulders or sleep outside - but you'd probably have a lot of fun with her.
lucas: i'd like to chat to priya as well. i heard she's an estate agent. i usually go for girls with good taste that know what they want, and know how to get it.
hope: well babes, she's not the only girl in here that wears pantsuits for a living.
the boys all shared a laugh, including noah.
lucas: is that so?
he glanced over to you.
you: unfortunately i'm not amongst that group. but marisol is studying to be a criminologist, so she probably will be once she graduates. and she's also the no-nonsense, ambitious type.
ibrahim: i think marisol just about has her hands full.
gary playfully smacked rocco on the chest, confirming for the first time that you could tell, that the two boys knew they were grafting on each other's partners. they even seemed to find it funny.
a loud ping sounded off from the sun lounger next to noah. it housed a pile of folded pool towels, on top of which lay two cellphones.
henrik: ooh~ i think I GOT A TEXT
the new boys rushed out from the pool, henrik bobbing himself up and out of the water like he weighed nothing, as lucas delicately rose from his spot so as to avoid splashing you in his haste.
henrik and lucas, the time has come to announce which lucky ladies will be joining you on your dates.
marisol, priya, and lottie all came jogging over to hear their decisions. throwing his phone back onto the soft towels, henrik pressed the fingers on each hand against their counterparts on the opposite hand, clearly not done thinking through his options. lucas eventually exchanged friendly nods with his swedish counterpart, signaling that he would go first.
lucas: if you all will have me, i'd be delighted to take priya, hope, and (Y/N) out for a date this afternoon.
bobby led a polite golf clap in response to lucas's ever posh parlance.
henrik: i think i'd like to get to know lottie, priya, and (Y/N).
he paused a beat.
henrik: should it please you.
bowing in your direction, he was underscored this time by a proper rowdy applause from your fellow islanders. though, you found yourself looking to marisol, remembering how eager she was to meet the new boys and sympathizing with how it must feel to not get their favor.
priya ran over to you, taking one of your hands in hers again.
priya: can you believe it, (Y/N)? our luck is finally turning around!
marisol followed suit at her own pace.
you: i'm certainly happy to be picked but... how are you feeling, marisol?
priya stepped to the side so that marisol could be fully included in your little group. she took the time to breathe deep and thoroughly articulate her thoughts.
marisol: you know, i'm surprised by how i feel. not surprised that i wasn't chosen, but, surprised that i don't really mind at all. i'll help you lot get ready. there'll still be time to chat to the boys after you come back anyways.
you: yeah, if you even still want to.
marisol lowered her head, peering over the rims of her glasses at you with a single raised eyebrow, as if you'd caught onto something she wasn't yet ready to admit. priya grabbed marisol's hand as well.
priya: oh my god, i'm so excited to finally leave the villa during the day - and not have to worry about being covered in some kind of goo. do you like citrus scents, (Y/N)? cos i have the perfect lemony perfume to pair with a glass of white!
the three of you were about to skip merrily towards the villa's back door when lottie appeared by your side.
you: you alright, babes?
lottie: yeah, i mean, i just wanted to check in. how are you doing, marisol?
marisol: good. fine, i mean. i was just telling these girls i wasn't super interested in the new boys anyhow.
lottie: well, that's a relief at least.
lottie smacked her lips together sheepishly, working up the courage to say something else. she never had a habit of making herself small around the other girls before.
lottie: i, erm, saw that you did hope's eyeliner last night, marisol. to be honest, i was wondering if you could do that look on me.
marisol wasn't usually lost for words, but she pulled back in shock, before seemingly remembering that she didn't mean to create any more distance between the two of them.
marisol: of course, babes. if you need, i'll even curl your hair while you do the rest of the face.
lottie smiled and nodded. everyone in the group seemed a bit trepidatious of the new dynamics at play here, but could agree it was a positive enough change.
for the second time, you stopped yourself from heading inside. the boys had dispersed from the pool area as lucas and henrik took to putting on their date outfits. the blender in the outdoor kitchen started up, meaning rocco had gotten a hold of the kale and probably offered protein shakes to everyone. but, far removed from everyone else, noah and hope remained in their same positions on the sun loungers. noah reclined in his seat, completely unmoved from when you saw him sit down. while hope had her back arched and her face hovered close to his, undoubtedly taking her turn talking at him.
your eye flashed to the group of girls going in together, then back towards the couple.
you: hope!
she perked up and faced your direction, even removing her sunglasses to check that it was really you who called to her.
you: would you want any help getting ready or anything?
hope situated her sunglasses back on her face before using the same hand to send you a thumbs up. you chose to interpret that as a negative, for convenience sake.
rejoining the other girls, lottie put a hand on your upper back.
lottie: it was nice of you to ask.
the mood in the girls' dressing room was leagues higher than normal. lottie and priya weren't too talkative towards one another, but that was to be expected after the rocky relationship they'd had. marisol assisted with lottie's hair and makeup, thus creating a more intense eye look than might be appropriate for a sunny afternoon date, but the latter was impressed by the results. she decided to don a sort of twee rockabilly outfit; jean shorts covered in silver studs, wedge boots, and a collared blouse with puffy cap sleeves. all black of course, to make her purple hair pop.
priya swapped her usual form-fitting dresses for a flowing white satin midi skirt and floral print top. pairing well with the promise of wine by a mallorcan cliffside, she also managed to incorporate lucas's vision of a high class woman with a bit of the fun that henrik had wanted. as you lounged at your vanity waiting for her to finish up, she finally arrived at what you thought would be her last step: a dollop of sunscreen to be spread across each limb. that potent tropical scent was like an old friend by this point in the competition.
but as you and lottie gathered by the door, it dawned on you both that priya was only getting started. she opened one of the drawers of her vanity, revealing the entire space filled to the brim with vials of perfume.
priya: were you still interested in that citrus scent, (Y/N)?
you: yeah, if you can find it, i guess...
marisol: how many fragrances did you bring, babes?
priya: one for every occasion, one for every mood - one for just about any situation i could think of.
she dug around in the clutter for mere seconds before pulling out the exact scent she'd been talking about. it wasn't a bargain brand either.
priya: in indian tradition, smells are treated like medicine and each specific scent is assigned to a specific ailment or shortcoming.
she handed you the vial expectantly.
priya: (Y/N) is a very calm, grounded personality, which is a good thing, but people like that can benefit from a little extra energy. so zingy scents like lemon or eucalyptus can help you put some pep in your step!
you took the cap off and smelled the spray nozzle. it was reminiscent of a table with freshly washed tablecloth, and a basket of lemons resting proudly on top of it.
priya: do you like it?
you: i do! if i'm being honest, i mostly just wear whatever perfume i happen to pick up. maybe i should be more purposeful with it in the future.
lottie: rituals are done with intention, that's what makes them sacred. my signature scent is sandalwood because it's dark and moody. like me.
priya: your clothes may be dark, but sandalwood is considered a cooling scent. it goes well with people who are outgoing, lively, and passionate.
lottie: ooh, that sounds like me as well. always caught between the dark and the fire.
priya: if you're partial to cooling scents, you might also like a bit of jasmine.
lottie: hmm, i've never met a personality typology system i couldn't get behind... so sure, what the hell. i'll smell like my nan for the day.
priya clapped her hands together inaudibly before fishing a springtime jasmine out from her drawer.
priya: and coincidentally, i'm the third personality type: airy - which i think is just a nice way to say air headed - and spontaneous.
you: so what kind of perfume are you gonna wear?
pulling the final fragrance out, priya snapped the drawer closed with her hip.
priya: pina colada. because i like it.
strolling triumphantly down the stairs with marisol as your escort, you found yourself chattering mindlessly amongst your fellow date-goers, until all of you happened upon noah standing outside the bedroom. his back was flush against the wall, almost guarding the closed door, meaning hope was most likely the one inside.
perhaps the most out of character she'd been all day, lottie linked arms with priya and marisol, leading them into the back garden without stopping to observe or remark on the scene at hand. thus, you were left alone with noah.
noah: hey.
your eye lingered on your leaving friends before turning back to him, glad for the chance to talk to noah but keenly aware that disaster usually followed.
you: hey yourself. any thoughts on... the day's events?
noah: quite a few. but i shouldn't be shocked by being tested in here. i'm not worried about failing.
you: good. sounds like you've got everything under control.
noah: i can only control so much.
you sighed, peering out the open back door again. the others were starting to crowd around the kitchen island; snacking, joking, laughing. and yet you couldn't stop yourself from trying the same experiment once more, expecting different results.
you: i feel like i'm always telling you this... you can control yourself, you know? you can act on... whatever it is your heart actually desires.
noah: and if i did, what would i be? a caveman? a cheating boyfriend? i'd rather restrain myself with dignity.
you: you're not anyone's boyfriend. and the restraint clearly isn't going both ways. don't you feel cheated, in a sense?
noah: nothing in here could ever compare to the feeling of actually being... cheated. it's unmistakable. all-encompassing. if i had any say, no one in the world would ever have to go through that. but cheating is an infinitely selfish act. if hope comes back and stays loyal, we can continue on stronger than before, or she'll jump ship and save us both from wasting our time. that's not selfish, it's a chance to prove what we have is worth fighting for.
you shook your head in disbelief.
you: and you think you'd be afforded the same chance?
noah: of course. why wouldn't i be?
you: well, you're obviously just not - not without hope losing her head.
noah: i haven't decided to test the waters yet. if hope loses her head over it, then that'll tell me everything i need to know.
you: and when will you... test the waters?
noah: when i'm ready.
the posse just outside burst into a fit of laughter about something. it might as well have been about you - the feeling was just as desolate. flitting your gaze at anything but noah, your shoulders deflated as your volume and pride did the same.
you: if that's really how you feel then... i guess that's how it has to be.
he could sense your dejection. it was plain to see.
you: i might be impatient, but i like to think i'm not disrespectful.
noah: you're not. you haven't been.
his stoic exterior proving penetrable, noah lifted his back off the wall and tilted his head down to gauge your expression. you didn't make it easy for him, staring unrelentingly at the ground.
noah: i know it must've taken such strength for you to keep it up this long... just...
he chewed at his lower lip.
noah: please... a bit longer?
you shot him one last look, not trying to convey anything in particular, but the muscles in your head and neck wouldn't complete a full nod. not to that request.
you saw henrik, framed by the looming doorway. his golden hair was now dry but still bathed in the afternoon sunlight. he seemed to sparkle and shine, as your feet floated without second thought into the warmth as well. he was in the midst of celebrating something, the other boys cheering and patting his back, but stopped all else to focus on you when you arrived in his vision.
henrik: (Y/N), you look lovely!
the comment made you grin.
bobby: (Y/N), you have to see this man arm wrestle!
ibrahim: gaz's bicep is about the same size as henrik's whole torso, but guess who won.
scoffing at the boys' antics, you scanned the rest of the garden and soon realized that lottie, marisol, and priya were sitting together on the bean bags. you almost envied their distance.
henrik: climbing strength. (Y/N) knows how it is.
henrik shimmied his way around the other boys and nestled himself right next to you. the way he wore his heart on his sleeve was certainly endearing, and what's more, the fact that he wasn't shy about giving you his attention.
henrik: i hope you don't mind the wait. lucas will just be a little while.
your lips curled - not into a smile, but out of contempt.
you: i suppose i should just get used to waiting.
henrik's brow furrowed ever so slightly, now studying your noticeably sullen tone.
henrik: they say patience is a virtue. but, of course, some stuff isn't worth waiting for. i think it's better to see things as they are, rather than suppressing your feelings for... who even is "they"?
you: we never know, do we?
henrik: personally, i'd forgive them if it's the same "they" that said, stop and smell the roses. that's a pleasant waste of time, to me.
you giggled, and realizing you'd become gradually disarmed, henrik took a pause before leaning over.
henrik: something around here smells great too. is that you?
you meant to thank him, but in that moment, hope and noah strutted out from the villa together. rocco seemed to take that as a cue to open the refrigerator.
rocco: big noah! i saved you that smoothie. hope, (Y/N), would you like to experience the symphony of spinach?
upon closing the fridge door, rocco's hand was revealed, holding what looked to be an entire bullet blender's worth of green liquid.
rocco: it has whey protein!
hope: i don't think i'm in as much need of protein as you, hun. but thanks for asking.
you: yeah, rocco, aren't you the cocktails and cronuts guy?
rocco: i am. but can't i be more than that too?
you held up your hands in playful defeat.
rocco: i'm a complicated man, (Y/N), remember?
he threw in a subtle smirk and wink before turning his back on the group to look for cups in the cabinet. you suddenly felt a dozen eyes on you, hope's among them. things with rocco had towed the line between friendly and flirty last night, but lucas's coy lack of comment regarding secrets he'd seen, were probably painting an unflattering picture in hope's head.
you felt a cold chill take hold of your being, unable to move and certainly too chagrinned to face henrik again. the unwanted attention was lifted only when lucas made his way outside as well.
henrik gave the countertop a spirited smack, signaling he was more than ready to get going.
henrik: mate, that quiff of yours better hold up against a wind tunnel, for all the time you spent styling it.
lucas rubbed his hands together modestly, pre-date pep talks from the original boys starting promptly. as henrik left your side and everyone else became preoccupied, you couldn't help but replay a certain slice of the day in your mind.
you had been upstairs with the girls for just under an hour. and in all that time, you didn't recall hearing a single soul walk into the communal bathroom next door. the only other place in the villa where you knew the boys sometimes did their hair was-
lottie: psst, (Y/N).
you felt a finger tap you on the shoulder, and lottie's voice whispered in your ear.
lottie: i know you didn't love the girl councils... but we're gonna need to call one after this.
she must've been thinking the same thing you were. you rotated your head back towards the doorway. inside the villa was dark, but lucas came into focus, though he no longer looked the same to you.
you wondered why seeing things as they are felt like such a burden.
hi, i’ve always been such a silent reader but your noah fic omggg shivers down my spine from how good it is, how talented of a writer you are and how much of it is exactly how i pictured mc and noah pining over one another. i see you haven’t updated on here in a while but in case you see this, keep going, and wishing you all the best 💛💛
aww thank you so much for the kind message!! :')
i too was always fascinated with the restrictions on the mc/noah relationship that seemed to have been placed by virtue of the game devs choosing last minute to make him romanceable - i developed the concept of the fic to be a sort of existential horror, where you're trapped on a dating show but can't choose the person you actually want. i'm overjoyed to hear it resonates with someone else!! <3
and apologies, but i have taken a short break to start a new project (greedy i know).. however, i've not forgotten about it!! lurik is on deck for the very near future!!
Would you accept a Star Wars/ Viking fanfic request?
i've never seen star wars unfortunately!! but i could try my hand at a plain vikings fic request, although i may characterize the characters a bit differently since i'm such a sagas purist 😅
resource for writers: english place names from a scandinavian perspective
this study by martin kahnberg looks at current and historical location names in england, and compares them with possible (or already known) old norse root words. the paper focuses on celtic regions in the west of the island, so there is also a brief examination of overland and river routes that scandinavian invaders may have used.
this is my favorite theoretical connection -
due to the legendary founders of the kingdom of kent also having horse names (hengist and horsa)
the trek back to the villa was certainly colorful - due mostly to the slimy body paint that coated everyone's skin, but additionally because of the curses that were muttered under peoples' breath. you and marisol both walked slowly at either side of priya, each holding one of her hands as she unsteadily navigated the mediterranean gravel in her wedges. the sun was just beginning to set behind you as you finally made it through the front door of the villa.
marisol: go take your winner's shower, (Y/N). i'll make sure nobody loses their head while you're gone.
you: maybe i'd prefer it if the shit kicked off while i'm not in the vicinity...
your comment elicited a halfhearted chuckle from both girls, for what felt like the first time all day. marisol gave a reassuring smile and playfully waved you off, whilst priya took to unbuckling her towering shoes.
a few of the other islanders arrived shortly afterwards, the group of lottie, hope, and gary all brushed past you and went upstairs. the faint sound of chatter and laughter followed them and became muffled once they got to the communal bathroom. priya pursed her lips into a line, none of the three of you knowing what was said, but confident that it was probably some gossip about one of you.
you: you know guys, we could all just wash off in the hideaway shower. i'm fine keeping my swimmers on. or i'd be happy to give my prize to you, priya, if you want.
priya had looked almost dazed, perhaps whirring with a similar rush of emotions as you: anxiety, dread, ire. but her head snapped around to face you once you'd addressed her.
priya: why would i need that? i have no intention of hiding from lottie. or hope. neither of them scare me.
understanding her frustrations, you nodded patiently. she seemed to draw herself back from the edge she'd been on, her shoulders relaxing and her brow furrowing with remorse.
priya: but i appreciate your offer. really, i do.
ibrahim, noah, bobby, and rocco strolled in, most of them with lackadaisical grins on their faces. you couldn't help but feel jealous thinking that the boys surely didn't read so much into their relationships - in the villa or otherwise - to ever warrant the creation of anything like girl code.
ibrahim: alright, girls?
noah peeled off immediately and headed straight upstairs. you reasoned that he may be wary of hope growing unhappy with him not being chained to her side for all of two minutes.
priya pouted her bottom lip out exaggeratedly, folding her arms and aiming her eyes at the floor in front of her.
ibrahim allowed a rather long moment to steal by. his mouth began to open as though he wanted to say something comforting, but no sound came out. marisol placed both of her hands on her hips, nudging his back subtly with her elbow. he seemingly got the hint and took a few steps toward priya.
priya threw her arms open and scrunched her fingers a few times like an excited baby. ibrahim engulfed her with his long arms in a cozy bear hug. you exchanged giddy looks with marisol, until you felt an arm at your waist.
bobby: hey, winner.
he mumbled discreetly into your ear, his breath making the hair on your neck stand up.
bobby: a little later i can give you a massage for working so hard today.
you turned back to meet his gaze.
you: sounds tempting. throw in another coffee tomorrow morning and i might just take you up on that.
bobby: please, (Y/N). there are special treats for winning a challenge, and then there's basic human decency.
you giggled as he pulled away. starting towards the staircase, he held out one hand melodramatically, like he missed you already. you shook your head at his antics, although the smile he put on your face quickly dissipated as a rumbling guilt spread through your chest. bobby was such a nice boy, but this wasn’t nice island.
you noticed marisol at your side chatting with rocco. their conversation seemed to end in a breathy chuckle from her, and a smirk on his face that felt almost too greasy even by his standards.
marisol: i'm gonna go wash up at the outdoor shower. after a challenge full of so much... close contact... i don't need to insert myself into whatever drama is brewing up there. but i'll see you when we get ready, (Y/N).
she turned and disappeared out the villa's back door, with priya and ibrahim also splitting off and heading arm-in-arm for the upstairs showers. rocco laced his fingers over his torso and turned to you.
rocco: well... that all was something, wasn't it?
you scoffed sarcastically.
you: "that all" seemed like it worked out perfectly for you.
rocco: you mean the bit where the girl i'm coupled up with, grinded against another bloke for practically the whole time?
you tilted your head at his sincerity. for the amount of times rocco acted like a caricature of himself, he could be surprisingly earnest.
you: that bothered you, did it?
rocco: (Y/N), (Y/N)... i'm a complicated man. and, if i was bothered, imagine how bobby must've felt with a bird as gorgeous as you.
you rolled your eyes, thoroughly prepared to end this exchange and make for the hideaway, but rocco put out his arms to try to stop you. his fingertips hovered respectfully over your person.
rocco: wait, (Y/N), mon cherie! i didn't mean anything by that, i swear. i'm just teasing since you're still so obvious about your thing with noah.
your cheeks burned hot as you instinctively rotated yourself away from rocco's glare, actually hoping for once that he'd go into one of his long-winded travel tales.
you: god, what will it take for people to stop bringing this up? i never had a "thing" with noah... i was interested in getting to know him, but he apparently only has eyes for hope... and if that's how he feels after knowing her for less than a week, then fair play i guess, it must be true love. they should just win already so the rest of us can get out of this shoebox.
taking a few much-needed breaths after your tirade, rocco sensed your dejection and his expression softened. one of his hands motioned towards your shoulder.
rocco: may i?
you nodded as much as you could muster. his palm nestled itself first at the crook of your neck, then slowly and gently rubbing smooth circles down to your shoulder joint.
rocco: listen, i know it probably won't make you feel better to hear that the rest of us boys are crazy about you. rejection feels so much deeper than attraction ever could. but i just want you to know that, if you ever need something from me, i'd never write you off the way he did.
his words struck a cord deep within you. you lifted your head, meeting his gaze with a somewhat shocked expression.
you: i don’t think i’d have phrased it like that… maybe i’m just too hard on myself. but it’s nice to know that someone in here doesn’t blame me for everything. thanks, rocco.
rocco: i’m just sorry i hadn’t talked to you about this before. i feel like you’ve had a pretty rough go of things so far, and i’m totally on your side.
rocco removed his hand, which was still rather rough with layers of dry paint. but the sudden lack of his warmth almost startled you. he sighed and lowered his head.
rocco: the way that certain people acted today helped me make my mind up - on a few issues. i feel so relieved, to know what i have to do now but, actually doing it won’t be as simple.
you: i know exactly how you feel. i have to sort out my own couple tonight…
your eyes darted towards the hallway, through which the hideaway still lay empty.
you: but we don’t have to throw ourselves into the shitstorm just yet. i’ve won the keys to the hideaway. why don’t you come wash up in there?
rocco’s eyes doubled in size.
rocco: woah, (Y/N)! isn’t day 4 a bit early for that kind of thing? i mean, showering together is like 17th base; after you’ve been dating for so long you’ve ran out of positions that don’t require a manual.
you: that’s why i said “wash up”, not “shower with me”! if you don’t want to, that’s fine, i just feel like our rapport is always quite chill. now even more so since i’m going for gary and you seem to have your eye on marisol.
for perhaps the first time, rocco opened his mouth, and words failed to escape. he appeared almost surprised at himself for not having a response ready.
rocco: who said anything about marisol?
you simply sent him a knowing glance, and started towards the hideaway. even if rocco was slightly misunderstood in the villa, he had a knack for crafting an image of himself that conveyed just as much information as he wanted others to receive. but you didn't buy his reputation as the cheesy travel bro, you knew about his past and you understood his motivations; you were getting too close and he was starting to squirm.
and indeed, as you unlocked the door to the luxurious suite, you felt rocco’s breath on your back and smelled the unmistakable, crayon-like fragrance of the paint on his skin. the scent seemed to heat up with the warmth of your bodies so close together. you snickered to yourself as you flung the door open.
rocco: this is mad.
rocco remarked as he took in the lavish furnishings and suggestive decorations strewn about the room.
you: no funny business. we’re just here for the shower, remember?
rocco: ah, but imagine the look on everyone else’s faces if we showed up tonight dressed as a maid and a firefighter!
he pointed to a black briefcase which sat atop an ottoman at the foot of the bed, its handle adorned with pink, fluffy handcuffs. from what you knew about love island, he probably wasn’t wrong about what was inside it. you rolled your eyes at him again and marched into the bathroom with crossed arms.
the attached master bath was relatively muted - probably never meant to be shown on camera. the walls were sterile shades of white and beige, though the shower was expansive. on either side of the enclosure, handheld showerheads rested on the tiled walls, while an overhead rainfall faucet hung above the both of you.
you: might as well take our time figuring this out. i did win an extended private shower, after all.
rocco: please, (Y/N), as if we need all this fancy stuff. i wanna be pelted from all angles like a car wash.
he haphazardly twisted one of the knobs on the wall, and his wish was fulfilled as the handheld jets began spraying cold water at you from both sides. luckily, the paint was rinsed off quite easily and only faintly stained the fine lines of your fingers.
once the water heated up, the two of you remained scrubbing yourselves in a comfortable silence, only now succumbing to the exhaustion of the day's activities. the generic shower gel provided for you smelled of rosemary and lemon, and left a squeaky feeling where the crust of the dried paint had been.
rocco hung up the showerhead he'd been holding and faced you, now that the assault of the ice storm had subsided.
rocco: so what's this about you and gaz?
you: jealous?
proud of your non-answer, you slicked your hair back before turning away from your showerhead to look him in the eye.
rocco: look, (Y/N), you're an incredible girl. you're stunning. if we were on the outside, and we were caught in a situation like this, i wouldn't think twice about kissing you. but in here, everyone is flirting with everyone - it's like some kind of hippie commune. my head is just off of lottie and onto marisol, and i don't know if i have the energy to entertain anything else at the same time.
you: i definitely get that. i think we could be good mates anyway!
rocco: we're already mates, mon amie! but don't think i'm completely closing myself off to you. i mean... if you really wanted to, i bet you could easily turn my head.
you recoiled and blinked, half-jokingly.
you: if i wanted to? rocco, you do understand that "having your head turned" is still a choice that you make, right?
rocco: oh, look who's lecturing me about indecision!
for this second time this evening, rocco caught you wholly off guard. he clearly had a better read on you than he'd ever let on before.
rocco: but hey, if you've finally landed on gaz, i'm happy for you both.
you: same to you and marisol.
you nodded conclusively and turned off the tap, having had about enough rocco to last you until morning. the two of you could certainly become good mates with time, you thought, since you appreciated how calm and introspective he could be. but now you harbored no doubt that he was playing the game. and that, in your mind, made him more suited to marisol - at least romantically.
rocco excused himself first, claiming he'd find a towel upstairs and dry off there. but more than likely, there was a part of him that didn't want the others to find out where he'd been. and there was an equally big part of you that felt the same. although, whatever confrontation he might've hoped to prevent, was bound to happen regardless. whether it was about you and him, you and noah, you and gary; it seemed that lottie and hope just kept giving themselves every reason in the world to hate you.
but contrary to what you expected, the mood inside the girls' dressing room was calm, a light cloud of some slightly more muted fruit scent - possibly pear - lingered just beneath the fluorescents. priya sat on the floor, her legs folded and angled to one side under her. with her arms raised as she took a curling iron to her cocoa brown locks, she resembled the elegance and ease with which a mermaid might lounge on a half-submerged rock. she and her reflection appeared to be in their own little world, paying no mind to anyone else in the room, even though just moments ago you were both dreading having to be near them.
hope sat at her usual chair, in front of her vanity, but this time its side was parallel with the table. marisol hovered above her, an eyeshadow palette and brush in each of her hands as though she were an artist. hope's eyes were closed and her shoulders seemed relaxed. the two of them were chatting absentmindedly about nothing in particular - a song that they both liked, from what you could tell. and that, of course, was not only rare in the villa, but astonishing to see from this pair.
upon closer inspection, you surmised that marisol was doing an extremely intricate black cat eye with a smoked out wing on hope. it was bold, like the latter was always known for, but a stark contrast to the bright colors she usually put on herself. everything about this scene was… different. and even in a good way. from the amount of times the villa’s turmoil had made you feel subjected to a cacophony of torment, you began to mistrust this quiet.
you: where’s lottie?
marisol rotated her head to face the source of the question, but promptly went back to work once she realized it was you.
marisol: i haven’t seen her since we all got back, but then again, i don’t think we’ve all gotten ready at the same time since night one.
hope: the showers were pretty full so lottie and gary waited til the rest of us were done, but they defo finished like ten minutes ago. i heard the water turn off.
you: lottie and gary, huh?
a silence took hold of the room. priya got up and stretched her legs, her teeth revealed through a subtle smirk that parted her lips like a double-edged blade.
marisol: why am i not surprised? and yet priya’s the one who “blatantly didn’t have to grind on noah”.
hope: i’m not gonna say i loved that part, but it’s not worth losing my head over. and noah was so reassuring when we talked afterwards - he said he doesn't even think on the challenges for long enough to feel any type of way about them. i can’t lie, he’s passed all of my loyalty tests so far.
priya: if anyone fails at loyalty, it’s definitely lottie. so much for girl code, girl council… i mean, more like girl cunt.
just as predictable as it would be in a scripted show, you heard a faint pair of footsteps hit the floor by the doorway, as lottie cleared her throat from behind you.
lottie: i honestly don’t believe what i’m hearing, girls, considering how bloody precious my loyalty is…
everyone else in the room watched lottie with bated breath. priya’s jaw began to twitch as a palpable fury washed over her. you were almost afraid to turn around.
lottie: but besides that, i don’t owe it to anyone here. especially not you, priya.
priya took a step, and you maintained enough of a sense of urgency to finally unfreeze from your position, offering a gentle arm around priya’s shoulders.
priya: there you go again with that! do you even realize how much of a hypocrite that makes you? when you used to preach about girl code? do you even know how much it hurts me? or do you keep saying it for that reason?
lottie had folded her arms and leaned on one of her hips, allowing her tongue to fold over her top teeth as she thought about how to retort. it became clear to you that she intended to emerge as the more level head of this spat.
lottie: i’ve never once said that i didn’t wanna be friends with any of you girls. and i say my friends are lucky cos i’d genuinely give the shirt off my back for any of them - that’s the kind of person i am if you earn my loyalty. but you, priya… you came in here and got my only friend sacked and you don’t even feel sorry about it!
priya: you think i don’t feel bad about it? lottie, the guilt eats me up alive, yet you insist on making it worse! and i wasn’t the one who sent hannah home. gary was.
lottie: oh trust me, i know why gary did what he did. as if it wasn’t obvious by the way he was ready to rip bobby’s head off over (Y/N), nail in coffin provided by marisol.
priya’s livid mood stalled for a moment, as you both turned to exchange looks with one another. her eyes held hurt on your behalf. hope reached forward and grabbed both of marisol’s forearms, shaking her head and whispering something faintly soothing.
lottie: and i don’t know how either of you could do that to poor hannah. didn’t you remember how shit it felt when priya stole bobby from you, (Y/N)?
you: babes, priya was honest about it every time the topic came up. it didn’t feel good but it felt less lonely knowing she cared enough to tell me. marisol did the same to hannah on the morning of that recoupling, cos if i still remember correctly, we all agreed we weren’t here to see the other girls hurt. trust me lottie, nobody wanted to make you feel this way.
lottie huffed, using up all her air and leaving the rest of you with a meager last line.
lottie: this isn’t about me.
with that, she barreled back through the hallway and down the stairs into the living room, wearing only her party dress and no shoes, hair, or makeup - but she didn’t care. after a few moments, the sound of her footsteps disappeared and were replaced with distant voices that seemed to erupt as lottie must’ve arrived in the kitchen. you figured the boys were already waiting outside with tonight’s drinks, but priya curled her lip in apparent disgust at the warm reception lottie received.
priya: ugh, how dare she storm off so she can act like the victim again? and the boys don’t even see what’s going on. i’m so over this.
priya sped off in the opposite direction, making for the terrace where she was greeted by the early evening sky over the balcony. the automatic anti-slam door closed with an excruciating lack of velocity behind her, so hope took the opportunity to shimmy out from under marisol’s hand and sit next to priya on the cushioned bench outside.
marisol sighed, the room now empty save for you two. she sported a full face of makeup but was clad in only a dressing gown.
marisol: i'd be lying if i said i didn't expect a fight like this eventually.
you: i just didn't expect lottie to back down so easily. maybe reasoning with her is in the cards after all.
marisol: if you think so, then i won't get in your way. i was chatting to hope earlier and it kinda made me realize... i don't wanna have to choose sides with anyone on anything in here. drama's not part of the game, so i'm not gonna waste my energy on it.
you: then i sincerely hope you get to stick to that conviction, babes. i just think i'll sleep a bit better knowing the girls won't constantly be at each other's throats anymore. or at least, if we can diffuse the tension just a touch and stave off the next blowup for a while.
marisol: if things get really hairy, you can always come to me for support, babes.
marisol tilted her head, giving you her version of a reassuring grin, as her eyes softened behind her glasses. you could tell she really meant it.
the both of you then swiftly threw your evening outfits on, after which marisol scurried downstairs, and you remained a short while applying the bare minimum of cosmetics that you required. a soft conversation resonated through the door whenever you turned your ear in that vicinity. priya and hope sounded like they were in the middle of something, so lottie became your first stop.
the kitchen island was topped with a swarm of untouched champagne flutes, and the bottle was still visible from behind the clear doors of the refrigerator. a group of the boys were huddled together on the sun loungers, from which you saw bobby's hand wave to you ecstatically. you waved back, noting that on the other side of the pool, marisol had already taken to chatting with rocco on one of the daybeds. further back though - nestled in a patch of relative darkness on the lawn - lottie sat by herself on a yellow bean bag.
you dragged the pink bean bag over and paused sheepishly before her.
you: mind if i join you, babes?
she barely raised her eyes.
lottie: i wouldn't mind, but i also wouldn't know why you'd want to.
you plopped down, adopting a tentative smile.
you: because~ i meant what i said back there, you know? we're all here for love, nobody wants to have to hurt people or send people home.
lottie: you said yourself that you weren't here for love.
you: would you rather i lied about that? besides, i'm still not a psychopath, i said i came to have fun and it's pretty hard to do that when everyone's miserable.
lottie: well... i actually quite like how honest you are. and you've proven that you mean what you say by actually taking the time to set things right with me. you're a real girl's girl, (Y/N), and i'm sure you know how much i respect that.
you: thanks, lottie. you've been looking out for me too, in your own way. i don't always agree with your methods, but it certainly shows that you're thoughtful and well-intentioned.
lottie: you don't agree that i take things super personally and feel the need to exact revenge on anyone who crosses me? figures. trust me, i know how i've been coming across, and it's no wonder you think i'm miserable. i am.
you: i know it can't be easy without your best friend in here-
lottie: no, babes, that's not it. every man i've ever dated for over a year has cheated on me. i've always described myself as a person whose trust is hard to earn, but i guess somewhere along the way, i started looking for any reason not to give it out. when priya came in, it was just so hard to accept that no matter what we did, she was essentially going to betray one of us. and there was nothing we could do but stand there and take it.
you: well i hope you'll take into consideration how bad it made her feel to have to do that. plus, if some casting director had written her name in a different slot on their spreadsheet, it could've been you or i in her shoes.
lottie: believe me, i've thought about all of that. and it wasn't easy to hear her say it again upstairs.
lottie shrunk into her seat and let her eyes wander around the garden, as though whatever she was about to say would be a revelation even to herself.
lottie: it's just... i don't like thinking about the game because i don't like the way it makes me feel powerless. i've always thought that if only i could say the right things - be all the right things - then i could prove myself to a man and make him love me, in a way more true and complete than any of the others did. now, not only does that not work in this competition, the reality of our situation is forcing my delusions to crumble in front of me.
her lips trembled as her eyebrows furrowed upwards in a distraught expression. you promptly leaned over to close the gap between your bean bags, taking one of her hands in yours and placing your other hand over her shoulder. as you drew nearer to her face, it became obvious she was fighting back tears.
lottie: i don't know who i am if i don't have that...
your thumb stroked the back of her hand.
you: listen, lottie, if you'd just explain your true feelings, then none of the other girls would hold them against you. we're all in the same boat as you and we're all at the mercy of the game. but, there is one way we can influence our fate: and that's to open ourselves up to love, ready and willing to accept the good and the bad that comes with it. if we're not able to face the chance of failure, then we also forfeit the chance of success.
lottie: ugh, (Y/N), that's so not what i wanted to hear. but, i guess it is what i needed to hear. thanks.
you: i'm gonna go talk to priya before the night is over, alright?
lottie nodded.
lottie: i'm gonna talk to her too, maybe tomorrow. but i'll definitely give her more of a chance moving forward.
you nodded back, giving her shoulder one last friendly pat before standing up. the night had descended further into darkness, with the yard being so unusually quiet, you could finally hear the mallorcan crickets harmonizing as you headed inside.
before you reached the door though, you caught a glimpse of gary sitting alone in the little corner nook that lay directly beneath the terrace. you tried waving to him, but his attention was firmly planted elsewhere, his gaze fixed on something towards the back of the garden.
returning up to the girls' dressing room, you gave the door to the terrace a slight knock before opening it on priya and hope. they were each sat on adjacent benches holding pillows in their laps with their legs folded in various ways, having clearly readjusted many times over after spending a while in this spot.
hope: hey babes, what's the update?
you took a seat next to priya.
you: well, i don't mean to spill our entire conversation, but things got quite deep with lottie. she seemed apologetic and she said she'd talk to priya in the morning.
priya: really? she just... folded like that?
you: i was surprised too, but she's actually pretty self-aware. i think everyone can see that the competition's been hard on her and, from what we spoke about, i think she's gonna try to work on herself instead of starting stuff with the rest of us.
the two of them tried to process this new information, nodding in a stunned silence.
hope: you know, i was pleased that she was willing to bat for me earlier today, but her obsession with girl code has always been a bit extra. let's hope she can chill with that in the future.
priya raised her eyebrows goadingly at hope - a gesture that left you puzzled.
hope: speaking of chilling... (Y/N), i would really like it if we could try again to reconcile. i nearly flipped out on you after the challenge today and i realize that would've been totally out of line.
priya's head shot back towards you, her eyes eager for confirmation, all but giving away her role in facilitating this dialogue.
you: er, wow, hope. i really appreciate you saying that. what changed?
hope: i dunno i just... spoke to noah about it and realized, in a real relationship, it's the guy's job to reject other girls - not the other girls' jobs to stay away. so i thought i should give him more of the benefit of the doubt, to see how well he really does. and to be fair, he has such trustworthy vibes, i think by being so hard on you i was also being a bit unfair to him.
you sent priya a cautious glance before answering.
you: well, i certainly wouldn't say no to being mates with you, babes. but i just wanna make one thing clear: i'm about to end things with bobby tonight-
hope: you are!?
priya: finally!
you made yourself small as the sudden scrutiny of your circumstances brought a warm flush to your cheeks. hope stammered for a moment.
hope: what do you mean "finally"?
you: i've just been feeling like we're not exactly compatible for a while now, and there's someone else who's expressed interest.
hope: noah!?
you: no... gary.
priya returned your look from earlier with a sympathetic shrug, and you knew what you had to say.
you: hope, babes, do you trust your man or not? i'm not just a parasite who's obsessed with him only, i've got my own stuff going on. and i find it kind of telling that you're only willing to smooth things over with me as a way to apologize to him. do you actually care about being friends with me at all?
hope: i dunno, (Y/N), cos it seems like every time i try to wipe the slate clean, you decide the semantics of how i'm asking aren't exactly to your liking.
you: well, i'm sorry babes, but if you seriously wanna put this thing behind us, you're gonna have to trust me too.
hope: excuse me for being confused when i heard the word "finally", since if i recall correctly, you have been after my man since the very first day of this competition.
that familiar constricting frustration came bubbling up to the surface of your skin again. the redness on your face returned, tonight perhaps amplified by the relative lack of makeup you had on. and under the light of the lantern sconce that illuminated the terrace, you felt like your head had become a glowing, hot beacon of shame, blood rushing upwards as a nauseating sensation rippled through your stomach.
would it really be so hard to admit that you liked noah? that something inexplicable drew you to him, even though you'd will yourself away in a heartbeat if you could?
your logical brain could only repeat that, even if you announced it for all to hear, you were doing nothing wrong. but all hope ever did was scream the contrary. and your temples pulsed as all rationality melted away into the rumbling dissonance that seemed to underscore every mention of his name.
priya: please, hope, imagine how good it'd feel to just let all this go.
hope scoffed, giving you almost enough time to regain your composure.
hope: erm, babes, i feel like (Y/N) is still dodging the main issue preventing me from doing that.
priya put one of her cold hands on the exposed skin of your leg, making your hair stand up, but finally cooling your conscience.
you: i'm not "after" noah - certainly not anymore. and even if i was, or even if the roles were reversed, i'd at least try to be mature enough to not let some guy stand in the way of any of my friendships. but that's a conversation i'd bet the entire 50k you're not ready to have yet.
hope bolted out of her seat, clearly offended.
hope: you're right about one thing, babes: i'm not ready to have any conversation with you for at least another 24 hours. and priya, i was genuinely worried about you. i thought we were having a deep chat and i thought you really cared about my situation too. but you were just... what... pushing your agenda of having me admit i'm the bad guy? well i'm starting to think maybe lottie was right - maybe you just shouldn't have grinded on my man - and i'm not about to let either of you get away with winding me up like this anymore.
hope turned and stomped back inside. priya allowed her hand to pat your knee a few times, her eyes looking weary and her voice conveying melancholy.
priya: i'm sorry about all this, (Y/N). you've always had my back and i tried to have yours.
you: no, priya, you did a good job mediating with her. i clearly ruined everything.
priya: babes, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. if someone's asking for your friendship, the least they could do is be respectful about it. but it seems like hope is too busy guarding her man - she has no energy left to treat the two of us like human fucking beings.
knowing all too well what she must've been thinking, you watched as priya stared off the side of the balcony and into the blue night.
you: it's not fair that we have to carry on getting attacked and feeling horrible every day. look priya, no matter what anyone else says to you, i will always have your back, alright?
she gave you a limp smile, pulling you in for a hug that lasted mere seconds compared to her usual ones.
priya: thanks, babes. you're the only one in here i'd actually believe that from. i'm here for you too.
priya stood up and straightened out her dress.
priya: i'm gonna go to bed early tonight. don't let rahim wait up for me.
you nodded without a word, getting up and following priya as she headed for the communal bathroom, the both of you perhaps more exhausted now than you were from the paint challenge. as much as you wanted for nothing more than to lay down and turn yourself off, there was one more difficult conversation that needed to be had.
you stopped into the dressing room to take off your heels, fully giving up on the prospect of looking or feeling good. the bare soles of your feet pitter-pattering against the stairs, you managed to lock eyes with bobby in the living room as he happened to be right in the doorway.
bobby: (Y/N)! i feel like i haven't seen you at all tonight.
your breath caught inside your throat as you briefly pondered the possibility of simply running away.
you: i've been quite busy...
finally reaching the ground floor, bobby invited you to sit on the sofa. you noticed him intending to sit right beside you, his arm reaching out as though he wanted to wrap it around your shoulder. you gingerly scooted further away.
bobby's expression all but fell.
bobby: i, er... i heard about what was going on with lottie and priya. lottie actually told us boys that you were helping them resolve it.
you: it feels good to be able to help, in however small of a way. everyone deserves to have a good time in here.
bobby: yeah, i don't know if believe that those two are gonna be mates, but i did say i thought you had the personality of a natural leader. it's cool that you've got so much sway around here. who do you think's gonna come out on top - should i be rooting for anyone?
you: no... i mean, they both just said a lot of stuff that they don't mean.
bobby: are you ok? i know it's probably tiring having so many people lean on you.
you sighed and glanced up at the ceiling, part of you hoping there might be a script written up there.
you: bobby, listen... if i'm being honest... i just... don't know if we're right for each other. everything you seem to like about me is just a byproduct of these really abnormal circumstances. i can assure you i'm not magnetic, i'm not interesting, i'm not bubbly, i'm not much of anything on the outside. i've tried to tell you but it doesn't feel to me like you've listened, and i just know i'll be gutted when you finally figure out and pie me for a girl who is all those things.
bobby's brow furrowed and his head extended towards you, as though he was trying to make sure he heard you correctly.
bobby: (Y/N), i don't know what to say. for starters, it makes me sad to hear you talk about yourself like that. you're interesting enough to me that i'll listen to anything you wanna say.
you: but that's... part of the problem, bobby. i don't want you to fancy me for some enigmatic quality that i can't see or control. and i'm flattered that you do fancy me, but the way you see me is just not the same person that i see. what am i supposed to do if one day it all changes, or-
bobby: it won't, poppet. and if it makes you feel any better, practically everyone in here regards you the same way. you just... naturally command attention - other people wanna talk to you and figure you out - i'm sure nobody could say for sure why that is, but it's undeniable.
you: if other people have so much to do with it, then i'm not really sure that you like me for me.
your words fell into the space between you like a dumbbell. bobby tried and failed to respond for a good while.
you: look, bobby, overall i'm just not really feeling... us... together. and obviously you deserve to be with someone who does. i'm really sorry.
bobby hung his head down.
bobby: no... don't be... your reasons are completely valid.
you stood up, opening your arms to offer him a consolatory hug, which he accepted. he rubbed your back ever so slightly.
you: i'm gonna sleep out on the daybeds tonight, if you don't mind.
bobby: of course i don't mind. i want you to be happy.
his deep voice reverberated through your chest as one of his hands moved up to stroke delicate lines over your hair.
bobby: it's like you said. everyone deserves to have a good time in here.
you pulled away to gauge his expression. his big brown eyes were glassy with dejection - they almost made you regret looking into them.
you: you're a great guy though, bobby. i'd really like for us to stay friends.
he chuckled.
bobby: as the only boy under 6 foot in this villa, i had a feeling i'd be hearing that once or twice. but, i know you mean it, (Y/N), and i completely feel the same.
you flashed him one last smile before continuing out the back door, searching absentmindedly perhaps for marisol, or gary, or anyone who might make you feel the tiniest bit better. running into your intended target once again, gary was on his way inside and stopped in his tracks when he realized he was about to crash into you.
gary: woah, (Y/N)!
he held his hands up in mock surrender, the beginnings of a smirk creeping onto his lips.
gary: we keep bumping into each other here.
a red blush took hold of your cheeks, and this time the sensation was more than welcome. your thoughts momentarily wandered to earlier in the day, when the two of you stood almost in the same spot, clawing yourselves back from kissing. you turned your head back to make sure bobby wasn't still by the couch. as you peered over gary's shoulder to survey the rest of your surroundings, you saw rocco and marisol still sitting in the same place they were at the start of the evening. and a bit further to your right, noah stood by his lonesome at outdoor the kitchen, digging through the snack drawer.
thinking quickly, you backed up to position yourself squarely within the doorframe, widening your stance and leaning to one side on a fully outstretched arm.
you: we've surely talked about this before, haven't we? it's not bumping into someone when you knew where they'd be?
gary: oh so you were waiting to get me all to yourself, were you?
you: don't think i forgot about what i said before.
gary: you've spoken to bobby then? so where's your head at now?
you: i ended things with him, yeah. i feel kind of relieved cos i've been meaning to do it, and he handled it really well, but i could also tell he was hurt. i don't wanna rub salt in the wound by being super obvious with you straight away.
gary: hmm...
gary mimed scratching a much longer beard than the one actually on his chin.
gary: obvious with me how? what would you like to do now that we're both single in here?
you giggled at his cheekiness. but sure enough, your banter came to a screeching halt as noah appeared behind gary. seeing your figure all but blocking the way, he seemingly decided to try again later, returning to the kitchen while gary paid him practically no mind.
you relaxed and looked back up at gary.
you: i would like to couple up with you, gaz, i'm sorry it took so long to say outright.
gary: it does feel like we've been in here forever, doesn't it? but it's still only day four. look, (Y/N), i might've told you before that i didn't wanna be in a triangle... and i appreciate you fully taking the plunge for me... so now i feel like i owe it to you to say: i've already told lottie i'm interested in getting to know her.
you had a sneaking suspicion this might be the case, but that didn't make his words any less jarring - or disappointing.
you: so the triangle is only allowed when you're the one in the middle?
your tone was a bit less than half-joking.
gary: i know, i know, i too am surprised it only took four days for me to become a complete hypocrite. but i'm just letting you know so you can make your own decision.
in the back of your mind, you heard the echo of what rocco had said to you earlier, and a chill ran up your spine. gary could perhaps sense that your mood had soured.
gary: you think about it, alright?
you stepped aside so gary could turn in for the night, marisol and rocco finally filing inside behind him. marisol paused as though she meant to talk to you, letting rocco continue on his path. when he noticed gary's backside walking away from where you were, he sent you a subtle wink.
marisol: how did things go tonight, babes?
you: good, and also not good. but what's new? you win some and lose some in here, although the wins never quite feel as good as the losses sting.
marisol: i know what you mean. my partner has barely said two words to me since we coupled up; now it seems like my best bet is rocco.
she said his name with a heaping helping of bewilderment, as well as a dash of disgust.
you: from what i saw, it looked like gary started to fancy lottie after that challenge this afternoon. did you get a chance to rub up on him then?
marisol: ugh, i dunno how i feel knowing that was all it took to turn his head. but no, my color was green so i was with rocco and rahim.
after the mention of ibrahim, marisol's lips formed a tight line, such that a small dimple appeared on her cheek - where you'd never realized she even had one.
you: and who are you feeling at the moment?
marisol: hard to say, honestly. rocco is... different... than what i thought. he's got a lot of layers to peel back, and i'm sure there's someone very nice in the center, but there's also a lot about him that i can't quite pin down.
you: agreed.
marisol: but also... gary picked me - no one made him do it and he's yet to properly shut me down, so i feel like the least he could do is give us a shot.
you: and you don't mind being in a triangle?
marisol: babes, with the way he nearly skenged bobby over you, i'd say there are more sides than that.
you snorted a laugh, beads of spit landing on your lower lip, stunned at marisol breaking with her usually intelligent vocabulary.
you: save that kind of talk for gary. i reckon he'd take you straight to an empty shipyard and marry you.
as you pulled yourself together, you noticed marisol’s face beaming with pride, like she was happy to have made you smile. you felt more at ease knowing she still wasn't resentful about the altercation following last night's recoupling.
you: and look, i spoke to gary just now... i don't think i'm gonna be pursuing anything with him. i also chatted to rocco earlier - he told me on night one that he'd wanna get to know me, but now that's basically done as well.
marisol: and how are things with bobby?
you: over.
marisol tucked her curled curtain bangs behind her ear, nodding slowly at the grave implications of your answer.
marisol: then you're single? completely single?
before you had a chance to reply, marisol looked over her shoulder at the kitchen. noah was still there. she raised her eyebrows at you and put a gentle hand on your bicep, allowing it to fall tenderly to your wrist.
marisol: i'll see you inside.
part of you didn't want her to let go, but she brushed past you and into the villa, leaving you with what you both knew you had to do: the inevitable culmination of all of your indecision thus far.
you started towards him, a knot forming in your stomach. without shoes on, noah towered over you more than normally, and his expression remained emotionless as he noticed you. but even so, he was somehow able to communicate displeasure at your approaching him.
noah: hey, i don't really know if we should be talking.
after the night you had, you were more than willing to turn around at the first sign of things going awry.
you: i knew this was a mistake.
you barely managed to rotate 90 degrees before you heard him call out to you.
noah: (Y/N), wait.
you stalled, folding your arms over your abdomen, just able to see noah's figure fidgeting in your periphery.
noah: i didn't want it to come to this, and i don't want you to think it's your fault.
you turned your head.
you: how come you're always doing stuff you don't want?
he sighed from deep within his throat.
noah: i'm sure you remember how unhappy hope was after the challenge. we spoke afterwards and i decided it had to be this way.
your eyes widened in disbelief, although your expectations were not as much shattered as your trust.
you: you decided? you'd rather shove two fingers in your ears and ice me out than reject me straight up?
noah: (Y/N), this isn't about rejecting you.
to his credit, noah did seem apologetic, shifting balance between both of his legs as though he couldn't decide whether to draw closer or not.
noah: hope was livid, yes. there was a lot of talk about you being snakey or doing stuff behind her back - flirting with me behind her back. i told her that wasn't the case; we've never flirted at all. and yet, when you came up to me and touched me like that... i felt... something that i'd never felt before.
you moved the rest of your body to face him, contritely curious.
you: i heard that you didn't think about the challenges enough to feel anything about them.
noah: i did say that. in that moment, i knew you were just doing it because you had to. i couldn't let myself read into it because i knew it didn't actually mean anything.
you: would you snitch on me if i said i chose you deliberately? i could've just gone back to bobby, you know.
noah's shoulders seemed to relax themselves. it was perhaps the first time that you admitted you were indeed "after" him, whether aloud or even to yourself. it felt as if a dense weight had been lifted off the atmosphere around both of you.
noah: i... i shouldn't say anything to that. just know that everything i'm doing is out of fairness for hope. i know it's hard on you, and i am sorry.
you scoffed.
you: if you know what you're doing to me, then why keep doing it? don't you realize how antagonized i am, just for living my life in here? you see how your partner chats shit about me and you just let her carry on? maybe i should be glad you're too scared to talk to me. you're fucking scared of how much you like me.
the air became tense again. internally, you were a little amazed at yourself for delivering such a mic drop moment. there was a slight temptation to up and leave after that, but your conversations with noah always seemed to end in a whimper, rather than the last laugh you were hoping for. and this one would be no exception.
noah: remember last night, when i said you were important to me?
you: what, were your knees shaking during the challenge cos you were cherishing my friendship so hard?
noah: no, of course not. you're special to me in a way no one else is, and i mean that.
his words forced you down from your high horse.
noah: i know all we do all day is graft, but there's still just not enough time for both of you. hope is special to me too, and i owe it to her to give our connection the best possible chance. if one day it's you and me, i'd put you before anyone and everyone. gladly.
your expression softened. you didn't want to believe him, but picturing the future that he promised was all too appealing.
noah: but for right now, yes, your friendship is very important. and i'm gonna start acting more like it. please, trust me.
your eyes darted around as your chest filled with apprehensive breaths. you raised your eyes at him, deflated.
the moodboard u make for each chapter of the litg are always so pretty :')
my first anon, thank you for the sweet compliment!! i have often thought about posting those moodboards on their own.. let me know if you'd be interested!! :-)
it feels so good to finally have a new installment of saying nope for you, as i promised. the current series of love island uk is really inspiring me (shakira is so mc coded).
i apologize for being a bit dense when it comes to ao3, but i did finally figure out how to copy the bold and italicized text, so i hope that makes reading everything a bit easier!! i don't think i'll go back and correct everything with the vrp series but i'll keep it in mind for the future :-)
(a/n): this is the first chapter that i’ll not have the actual game for reference.. thanks fusebox.. so i’m using some playthrough guides by @/ravenadottir!! lovely icelandic name btw
your eyes remained peacefully shut - perhaps slightly crusted over - as the sudden sensation of a dull warmth hit your skin. you didn’t have the best track record with getting out of bed as soon as the lights turned on, and it had never been an issue before. but within mere seconds, a barrage of cellphone ringtones attacked your slumbering ears.
thankfully, your own phone hadn’t rang, so you kept clinging onto your precious sleep as someone else read the text they’d received.
lottie: i got... a text...
gary: so did i, but you can take this one, lozza.
lottie: my pleasure...
islanders, today the surviving couples will be treated to brunch in the back garden.
marisol: is that it?
there was a brief pause as marisol remembered that gary was laying next to her, followed by the sound of a gentle smack.
gary: alright, alright.
there will be a buffet set up momentarily, and all couples will get to have a proper date, ahead of the challenge this afternoon.
a chorus of groans and gasps were triggered by this news. if only you had the energy to move a muscle in your body, you might have tried to react in one way or another. you heard the sounds of mattresses moving and feet on the floor as people gradually got up. you stayed still for as long as possible, until a weight on the other side of your bed startled you enough to warrant prying your eyes open.
bobby: hey, i finally got around to making you some coffee. i hope it’s how you like it.
you sat up in bed, smiling as big as you could without your morning breath escaping. bobby handed you a glass of milky iced coffee with a metal straw.
you: wow, thank you, bobby!
you took an excited sip. the coffee was invigoratingly cold; it tasted luxuriously sweet and your eyes widened, taken aback by the flavors.
you: oh my god... this is amazing. what’ve you put in it?
bobby: a good baker always toasts and grinds their own spices. it’s the same blend i use for my world famous apple fritters - and a bit of golden syrup for sweetness.
you chuckled at the earnestness with which bobby tended to talk about baking.
you: look, bobby, i want us to have a nice brunch date later so i’ll just say this now. last night was pure insanity, i’m sorry if i spoke to you a bit harshly.
bobby: no, no. it’s me who needs to apologize. i mean, i thought i did last night but i’ll say it again if i was too sleepy to get the words out clearly. i was off the rails yesterday. i was jealous and insecure and i just wanted to keep you by my side, but i went about it in all the wrong ways, so i understand why you were mad. i’m truly... and deeply... sorry to you, (Y/N).
bobby’s head hung low, his hands rubbing at his kneecaps nervously. the lack of light in his eyes was heartbreaking; the way he looked so different than his usual self. you scooted closer to him and placed your icy fingers comfortingly on his bare shoulder.
you: cheer up, our bobs. i’m back by your side because i know your intentions. you’re still a good guy, and i forgive you. now, let’s go and have a great date, yeah? i can’t wait to get to know you more.
bobby turned his head, looking straight into your eyes and smirking, his happy-go-lucky spirit having clearly returned. his long eyelashes fluttered as his gaze shifted toward your lips. you took his cue and leaned in for a sweet yet chaste peck.
bobby: i’ll be waiting for you out there.
he winked once as you untangled yourself from the blanket, rolling your eyes playfully at bobby’s cheekiness. you scurried upstairs to the girls’ dressing room. perhaps due to the news of a challenge later in the day, the coconut scent of sunscreen was particularly strong.
marisol waved to you upon seeing your entrance, her vanity - as per usual - was full of empty coffee mugs, although she was also sipping on a fresh coffee before applying her signature red lippie. priya was stood in front of the wardrobe, picking out her swimsuit coverup for the day. her figure was so statuesque and slender that she had a propensity for wearing long, flowy clothes that would billow gracefully as she walked. hope was sat in front of her own vanity, painting her nails nonchalantly. she’d chosen a bright, lemony yellow - in line with her tendency to wear bright colors - as her overt confidence seemingly wouldn’t allow her to mute herself in any way. lottie, however, was the only girl behaving quite unusually. she was staring at her reflection in the full-length mirror, leaning in so closely you thought that perhaps she wanted to jump into the other side. a sheet mask rested over her face, although she used a jade roller rather violently over top of it.
you set your drink down at your vanity and crept behind lottie quietly, not wanting to startle her, though she was so engrossed in attending to her own face that she didn’t seem to notice you in the mirror.
you: how are you feeling, lottie? i know hannah was really important to you.
she didn’t stop her jade rolling, her words muffled by the sheet mask which, at this point, was almost dry.
lottie: how sweet of you to ask, (Y/N). but no need to fixate on little old me, i know all of us had a big night last night.
hope looked up from her manicure, her eyebrows raised in a sassy, quizzical expression. she looked as though she wanted to speak up, but all of the girls were apparently past trying to reason with lottie’s girl-logic.
you: well, i just wanted to make sure you’re ok. the last thing i’d want is for any of us girls to feel like no one’s in their corner.
your eyes darted around the room, eliciting smiles of agreement from marisol and priya. but ultimately, you never got anything back from lottie, which left you with no choice but to resign yourself.
you: we’re all here for you.
with your shoulders slightly deflated, you walked back to your vanity to start your morning routine. marisol reached her hand over the table - the only detail you could make out with the giant plastic mirrors in the way - and her fingers seemingly beckoned for your hand to find hers.
marisol: i think that’s a great sentiment, babes. the competition is real and we all need to be supportive of one another.
priya: i second that! we just need to remember that it’s nothing personal; it’s only love. and we can have just as much love for each other as girls, as we do for our boys.
hope: you know what, i do kinda vibe with that. i might have more respect for a girl that backstabs me out loud than one that makes moves in secret.
priya: and speaking of that... marisol, i really had no idea that rahim was planning on choosing me. i can’t lie, i really do fancy him though, so i hope you’re not hurt by it.
marisol: oh no, babes, it’s no issue at all. i really should’ve seen it coming, with the way our last conversation went. and you know, i was a bit protective of him when you first arrived, but now i’m actually keen on chatting to gary.
you: what happened to him being “impetuous and cantankerous”?
priya couldn’t contain her laughter. marisol fixed her hair sheepishly as a pink blush washed across her cheeks.
marisol: i thought about it... i weighed the pros and cons... and i can’t help thinking he’s a really interesting bloke. there might be a connection worth exploring there.
you: that’s the spirit, babes!
lottie and hope both remained uncharacteristically quiet, even though you half-expected lottie to chime in with something about her displeasure at marisol’s pursuit of hannah’s ex (and only lottie would be hyperbolic enough to call him that). but never once did she invoke the name of girl code. you reasoned that maybe there was nothing to it, and if that was the case, then the whole villa would be more peaceful for it.
hope was definitely subtweeting you with her statement, though. fortunately, you had long since given up on the notion that the two of you could ever be friends. shrugging off her passive aggression, you finally finished getting ready for brunch, donning some minimal, beachy makeup and your cutest bikini.
bobby stood up and waved you over with both arms, the table set with a pink table cloth, elegant off-white plates, and gold cutlery.
bobby: wait! allow me.
he giddily hurried to your side of the table and pulled the seat out for you.
you: why thank you, kind sir.
bobby: it’s my pleasure, fair lady. i’ll even go get the food for us, so you don’t have to get up again. what suits your fancy?
you surveyed the never-ending buffet table that was set up on the patio, just before the breakfast bar, where everyone normally had their morning meals.
you: hmm, those croissants look decent, don’t they?
bobby eyed the pastry spread discerningly.
bobby: eh, i’ll be the judge of that. be right back, poppet.
you exhaled a silent chuckle, amazed at bobby’s ability to return to right where you’d left off. he was seemingly so unbothered by the interruption in your relationship, you wondered if he’d thought of that nickname for you during your day apart.
priya: special delivery!
a pair of tanned hands appeared in front of you, each of which contained a champagne flute of bright orange liquid.
you: ooh, mimosas?
priya: absolutely, and a show to pair them with.
priya pointed subtly to a table at your 4 o’clock position, where - to your surprise - hope and noah were sat. you managed to catch a glimpse as casually as you could, though there was nothing of note going on. they were barely speaking at all, the only noise coming from their direction was that of silverware on ceramic. you couldn’t stop yourself from snickering, exchanging coy grins with priya, who scurried away as her eyebrows danced knowingly and ecstatically.
adjacent to those lovebirds, were lottie and rocco. lottie seemed to have a monopoly on the entire conversation, which was not unheard of for her, but rocco was particularly reluctant to engage her for some reason.
priya and ibrahim were getting on like a house on fire. they bantered back and forth, the smiles on either of their faces stretching from ear to ear. priya really did bring out a more carefree side of rahim, which he used to woo her even further with his boyish goofiness.
marisol and gary were still quite cordial with each other, both of their postures near perfect and the volume of their discussion respectfully low. you still felt a knot in your stomach when you thought about how much gary seemed to want to choose you last night, and you hoped from the bottom of your heart that he could learn to like her instead - or not hurt her, at the very least.
bobby returned to your table, holding two plates piled high with sweets and fruit.
bobby: your croissants, madame.
you: oh my god, this looks proper lush. thank you so much, bobby.
bobby: it’s no trouble. croissants are your favorite scran, are they?
you: just about. i can’t really think of anything better than flaky pastry and coffee in the morning.
bobby: how about waking up next to a scottish adonis?
bobby outstretched his arm and jokingly flexed his muscles.
you: i could certainly acquire a taste for it.
you giggled shyly, somewhat mortified by your own attempt at flirting, and your hand instinctively covered your mouth to prevent showing teeth. bobby cocked his head to the side slightly, as if to signal to you that you’d been through this routine before.
you lowered your hand.
bobby: you know, i remember thinking on the first day, that you were far too fit to hide your smile like that. i still feel the same way.
you: you’re too kind, really, bobby.
bobby: i also recall on that first day, you asked quite a few questions about me. mind if i pick your brain this time?
you: of course not! ask away.
bobby: right then, what does your perfect future look like?
you: jumping straight into the deep end, are we? i rate that. erm, i suppose my ideal life just consists of taking it slow, learning about myself every day, and just having fun. i used to tour quite a bit when i was younger, so maybe i’d do that again... but maybe i’ll just travel around without the stress of performing.
bobby: wow, you’ve got it all planned then.
you: hardly. how about you?
bobby: well, whatever my future may hold, it’s gonna have something to do with baking. maybe i’ll open a cafe or a bakeshop - just something that allows me to steadily perfect my craft. i can’t lie, my lemon bars are nearly there already.
you: sounds like you’ve really got things planned out.
bobby: i mean, i try not to be a stickler for plans. you just never know what life has in store. but i’m actually a major homebody, so i need someone to have fun with on nights in, whilst also knowing how to get me pumped and go all out when we hit the town.
you: well, i certainly don’t mind a cozy night on the sofa. but i like to get outside and appreciate the simple beauty of life - like maybe at a nice restaurant, or park, or library. i’ve never really been one for parties at all.
bobby: aw, i bet you’d tear it up on the dancefloor though. you’re such a bright personality. it’s one of the things i like most about you.
you: i appreciate you saying that. i guess i am more of an optimist, after all, things can’t get better if you convince yourself they won’t. but i’m not really “bright”, in the sense that i don’t have the energy to be the life of the party. i live my life for me, and i don’t need to keep other peoples’ eyes on me as validation.
bobby: but that confidence attracts eyes anyway. i bet you’re aware just how crazy you make all of us boys.
bobby leaned back in his seat, resting his elbows on the armrests and interlocking his fingers over his abdomen.
bobby: i’ve never quite met someone like you, (Y/N).
you shoved an entire muscat in your mouth, increasingly unsure of how to respond to him. it seemed that no matter how much you tried to assert that you were not his type, bobby still found some part of you alluring. perhaps you and bobby were not so different, but it dawned on you that you also weren’t similar enough to agree on this subject.
bobby smirked at the way your cheeks expanded like a hamster’s.
bobby: ready for this challenge today? we haven’t had one in ages, it feels like.
you finally managed to get the food down.
you: i’m ready for a change of scenery, that’s for sure. not gonna lie, i kinda expected the drama to die down after the dumping was over, but it seems like every other person here still has some kind of festering grudge against someone else.
bobby: i know, it’s mad. but listen, i want you to know that gaz and i are good now. we set everything right before bed yesterday.
you: that’s good. i’d never want you two to stop being mates over something silly.
bobby: yeah, i don’t think we’ll have a problem like that again any time soon.
the both of you ended up turning your heads at the sight of the other islanders getting up and heading inside.
bobby: speaking of soon, i guess the challenge is starting in a minute.
you: i bet the girls are all changing their outfits. we haven’t had any particularly gross challenges yet, but better safe than sorry.
bobby: i can’t wait to see how cute you look in your new outfit.
bobby’s grin was growing a bit too wide for his face. just when you thought he couldn’t get any cheesier, he sent you an unabashed wink. you chuckled without noise.
you: i’ll try to be quick.
you dusted any latent crumbs off yourself and started towards the door. while it seemed that all of the other girls had already made it to the dressing room, a few of the boys were still milling about outside. gary waited with crossed arms just inside the living room, looking almost like a bouncer as he caught your attention.
gary: (Y/N)! can i speak to you, please? it’ll only be a moment.
a jolt of shock rocking your heart, you clutched your chest with one hand.
you: jesus murphy jones, gary!
gary: sorry if i scared you! that’s actually what i wanted to talk about - i’m sorry if i frightened you last night too. i know the way i acted was bang out of order.
you: gaz, don’t be sorry. tensions were running high, everyone was on edge.
gary: i am sorry, though. you more than deserve an apology for the scene you had to witness.
you relented, a smile threatening to form on your lips.
you: that’s very sweet of you, gaz. but really, i don’t want last night to make things weird between us.
right as you spoke your final word, a trail of footsteps coming into the house from outside began growing in volume. gary grabbed you by the forearms and pulled you closer to him, the both of you stumbling back behind the open door. none of the boys that had shuffled by seemed to notice you there.
as the noise subsided, gary sent you a cheeky smirk.
gary: this isn’t making things weird, is it?
your face was tantalizingly close to his, and at your height, your eyes were level with his lips - glistening with a fresh coating of lip balm and smelling faintly of coffee.
you blinked and pulled away before you did anything hasty.
you: i, erm... i just meant to say that i liked where things were going with us. i want you to be your usual chipper self, and not feel like you have to repent for making a little mistake. i’ve had my fair share of ugly moments in here too.
gary tilted his head, his eyes flashing with surprise at your statement, but approving of it all the same.
gary: you liked where things were going? so you weren’t completely turned off by me last night?
you: i mean... i was a little bit, but only because i was worried for you, and bobby. if either of you had laid a finger on the other, you’d have both been disqualified.
gary leaned his head against the tan stucco wall, taking in what you’d said.
gary: disqualified... now that’s a word that no one’s dared utter in here since the start. all of this bollocks is still a game, innit?
you: i know... sometimes, as much as i think we shouldn’t take it too seriously, losing people from the villa feels like the end of the world. and it’d be more than that if you left. there’s no one else i’d rather sneak off and have deep chats with.
he jokingly furrowed his brow.
gary: you’re referring to me as the deep chats bloke?
you giggled.
you: our chats do vary in deepness, but i treasure them regardless.
gary’s lips formed a lopsided grin as his gaze beamed down at you with adoration.
gary: you’re a great girl, (Y/N). if we weren’t trapped in this psychological torture experiment, i’d have talked my nan’s ears off about you ten times over.
you allowed yourself to make eye contact with him briefly, before glancing down at the floor. there was a moment of pause.
gary: if there was a recoupling right this second, who would you pick?
you sighed with your whole chest. the mere concept of having another recoupling thoroughly exhausted you.
you: you know, somehow it feels like whatever choice i’d make, wouldn’t matter anyway. there’s kind of a track record of that happening to me in here.
gary: so you don’t know?
you chuckled sheepishly and shrugged.
you: i didn’t say that...
gary: you didn’t have to. i know neither i nor bobs were your first choice, and now we’re kind of scrambling to be your second - and rocco’s in the mix there somewhere - but it still doesn’t feel good to be second place. and i don’t want to be part of a triangle.
the palm of your hand instinctively flew up and planted itself flat across your forehead.
you: ugh, why does it feel like everyone thinks i’m obsessed with noah? we were in a couple for all of five minutes, and i get on with some of the other boys just as well, like you.
as your annoyance fizzled out, you found your gaze locked with gary’s again, your eyes widened as your eyebrows raised in frustration. he seemed to have gotten an idea.
gary: kiss me then.
it would’ve been so easy. his words were almost magnetic, making your jaw tilt upwards and start to float towards him. but a distant voice stopped you in your tracks.
priya: (Y/N)?
she sounded like she was on the balcony, then her blocky wedges collided against the stairs. gary reacted quickly and pulled you back against him behind the door, until priya’s footsteps passed your location and reached the stone flooring of the outdoor kitchen.
you: i’ll speak to bobby about it first, ok? but... i want to.
you left gary with a sympathetic smile, before literally tiptoeing out from your hiding spot. gary scampered into the communal bedroom, and when the coast was clear, you called priya over.
you: priya!
she turned around like a meerkat.
you: were you looking for me?
priya began jogging in your direction, as gracefully as she could in her heels.
priya: didn’t have time to change?
you glanced yourself over, still in the same outfit that you’d eaten brunch in, while priya had changed out of her colorful kimono and chic monokini. her previous outfit was replaced with a completely plain black bikini, which fit perhaps a bit too snugly over her bust.
you: no, er, it’s just a swimsuit after all. i’ll just wash it.
priya: you’re brave, babes! but i admire that you always live in the moment! i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if i dirtied my nice swimmers, so i’ve just broken out this old thing.
you: oh, what is it you think we’re doing?
priya: not sure. but i have a feeling things are gonna get messy.
right on cue, lottie and hope emerged from the girls’ dressing room. there was a tense silence between them, which was amplified by the fact that they were both wearing sneakers for the first time. marisol trailed behind them, carrying an armful of empty coffee mugs.
marisol: i’m just making a quick pit stop at the kitchen, girls!
lottie: (Y/N), are you and priya taking your grafting on tour to the challenge?
she gestured vaguely toward the ground, and when you followed her hands, you realized that the shoes on your feet were also high heeled. you rolled your eyes, because of course the one time you dressed up during the day, you put yourself at serious risk of breaking your ankles in a challenge.
priya: i don’t know about you, (Y/N), but i wouldn’t even wear flats in the casket! it’s not my fault if my style turns a few heads.
you couldn’t help but snicker, holding out your forearm for priya to bump with her own. though, now that lottie was without her loyal minion in hannah, you felt almost bad for flexing your own, genuine friendships around her - and hope, who found a tentative seat on the back of the sofa, not paying much mind to any of the rest of you.
rahim poked his head out from inside the bedroom, catching all of the girls off guard, but speaking softly and apologetically.
ibrahim: we’ll just be a few minutes. gaz is changing but, erm, he might not be able to wear swimmers to the challenge.
lottie giggled, while hope finally looked up from twiddling her thumbs.
hope: and what is that supposed to mean?
you took the opportunity to grab your running shoes from the depths of the closet upstairs, and made it back down just in time for everyone to head to the challenge grounds together.
the set was just a short walk away from the villa on a sandy hilltop; a semi-open cube resembling a boxing ring, but seemingly made out of wooden logs. it was decorated with a few colorful heart decals and a banner which read, “well, color me...”
but ultimately, the cheesy, somewhat corporate-looking adornments couldn’t assuage the uneasy feeling you got from the sight.
bobby: I GOT A TEXT
islanders, today’s challenge will celebrate the beauty of love! each of the boys will paint themselves with one of the three primary colors, and the girls will then mix and match colors to create the new secondary color assigned to them.
all at once, everyone’s cell phones went off. the boys stepped onto the low wooden stage and positioned themselves near the dormant paint buckets. your mind raced a mile a minute, trying to figure out which boy had been assigned to which color. the message you’d received on your phone wasn’t very comforting. it simply read, “orange.”
priya leaned over to you.
priya: i’m bricking it, babes. it’s been a long time since gcse art.
the girls all stepped onto the platform too, hugging the side opposite to that which the boys were on. rocco made a big show of picking up his paint bucket, hitting a few strongman poses before also delivering a war cry of sorts.
rocco: embrace the night!
with the flick of his wrist, he tilted the bucket down and a wave of pure blue covered him, head to toe. a few of the girls screamed and gasped at the display.
bobby: i don’t know if i can follow that up but... unleash the fire!
bobby took his own paint bucket and threw its open half at himself, creating a measly splatter of red on his chest. the other islanders erupted in laughter as he gingerly tried to even out the coverage.
ibrahim: i can’t think of a creative line... yellow!
ibrahim carefully poured the bright liquid on himself from the shoulders down. noah and gary took that as their sign to wordlessly drench themselves in their colors too, which were red and yellow, respectively. gary, as promised, was now clad in loose fitting basketball shorts.
hope’s phone sounded again.
girls, you will have 2 minutes to create a new color with the help of two boys of your choosing. the girl who has covered the most surface area of her body in the correct color, will be named winner. begin!
chaos broke out as all of the girls darted towards their first choice boy, and you were no exception. making a beeline for bobby, you managed to catch a glimpse of his giddy smile, before it was replaced by wincing in fear as you got closer.
you: sorry if i’m a bit rough!
you tried to preempt before you crashed into him, engulfing him in a somewhat violent embrace in an attempt to cover the entirety of your front side in red.
bobby: i can handle a bit rough, but i haven’t been almost tackled like this since i played footie in year 12!
you separated your chest from his momentarily to check how the color transferred. being joined at the waist with your arms wrapped so firmly around his torso, made bobby’s cheeks go a shade of red not too far from the one on his abs.
priya: (Y/N), s.o.s! green is made from blue and red, right?
you turned your attention to priya, who was making her way behind you, going from rocco to noah. her whole upper half - with patchy fingerprints starting at her jawline turning into an opaque ocean that reached her kneecaps - was coated in blue paint. it was much more thorough than your own paint job. and while your train of thought was elsewhere, priya hobbled into noah’s arms, perhaps trying to avoid slipping in her heels.
you: not quite, babes! try to get some yellow in there before time’s up!
lottie, who had been pressing her back side against gary, removed herself only for enough time to remark.
lottie: looks like that’s two games people have no respect for in here!
she quipped to no one in particular, before turning around and planting herself on gary again, this time rubbing her chest on his.
hope looked over just in time to catch priya lifting herself off of noah. hope’s waist and shoulders boasted a thick coating of red, speckled with a few patches of yellow, having been obtained after giving ibrahim a very chaste hug.
hope: why am i not surprised that this involves my man?
priya: it was an honest mistake, babes!
finally satisfied with the amount of red paint you’d accrued on yourself, you let go of bobby and mentally planned your next move. lottie came into your line of sight, racing to the opposite side of the line to get some blue from rocco. gary, therefore, had no girl in front of him, which you became set on remedying.
you: you don’t mind, do you gaz?
gary shut his eyes and scoffed playfully as you flung yourself against him, haphazardly rubbing up on any part of him you could, trying to make use of what time you had left to beat lottie. eventually, both sides of your body were covered in red and yellow, such that a nice hue of orange was starting to form. although, the yellow was coming through much more, as bobby had only sparsely coated himself with the red paint at first. thinking quickly, you noticed noah was right at gary’s side, and that he also sported red paint.
with what felt like mere seconds left on the clock, you locked eyes with noah, signaling him of your intentions. maybe your vision shook as you walked over - or maybe you were just eager - but it looked as though noah gave a slight nod of approval.
you confidently threw your arms around noah’s neck, swinging your hips ever so slightly to make the most contact with all areas of his torso. before you dismounted, you made sure to run your fingers through his hair and tug gently, then rotating yourself so that your back was flush against him. he let out a subtle grunt, prompting you to take his arms and wrap them around yourself, followed by arching your back coquettishly. you turned your head back to see his expression.
the colors on your skin weren’t the only work of art you’d created in that moment.
someone’s phone went off, and all the islanders suddenly released their grip on one another, some with sighs of frustration or groans of disgust. hope, however, was already right in front of you, her arms folded and ready to scold.
priya: hope, babes, please don’t kick off over this.
hope raised an eyebrow and turned to face priya, agonizingly slowly for dramatic effect.
hope: kick off? that terminology suggests i’m doing it for no reason. every last one of us saw the reason, hun.
lottie: i have to agree here. priya, you didn’t even try to hide it, babes. you just blatantly didn’t need to grind on noah.
priya: i was confused... plus, noah was the closest to me. i would’ve gone for bobby if i wasn’t wearing wedges. it sure as hell would’ve saved me this grief.
marisol: please can everyone just check your phones so we can find out who won?
hope rolled her eyes as everyone reached for their pockets in tandem.
noah: i got it.
the winner of today’s “well, color me...” challenge is... (Y/N)! your prize is an extended private shower in the hideaway bathroom.
you: yippee.
you let out a deep, sardonic breath out your nose. hope turned towards you again, but noah placed a hand soothingly on her waist, and she was seemingly content to leave this issue for later. she leaned into him, snuggling his shoulder as he shepherded her in the direction of the villa.
most of the others followed suit, leaving you trailing behind as your blood boiled. bobby appeared by your side though, his eyes sympathetic.
you: i just needed a bit more red, you know.
bobby: i know. but... if there’s... anything else you wanna talk about. i’m here.
his gentle energy was infectious. you found yourself smiling at his earnestness.
you: yeah. i, er, think we need to chat about a couple things.
bobby gestured with his head at the gravel road which led back to the villa. after such a turbulent afternoon, you wished for nothing more than to go home, but the best you had for now was the villa. and, as much as you knew there were conversations that needed to happen, anything said within that villa’s walls might as well be a breeding ground for more drama.
hello everyone!! it's been a while but, how about an update?
i've cross posted all of my writings to ao3!! although, in doing so, it seems that some of the italicized or bolded words haven't been transferred.. for the litg series, i can see how that visual aid might be sorely missed so i apologize for that!!
i am still working on both series, although inspiration has been slow to come to me. i hope to have new installments of both out soon :-)
which pov do you enjoy most when reading fanfiction?
1st person (self insert - this character is essentially a blank slate)
1st person (from author's oc's perspective)
1st person (from a canon character's perspective)
2nd person (self insert)
2nd person (from oc's perspective)
2nd person (from a canon character's perspective)
3rd person (omniscient narrator)
no opinion / very nuanced opinion / see results
Voting ended onAug 23, 2024
*since some non-native english speakers (like myself a few moments ago) may not be aware, 2nd person pov is when the story kind of addresses the reader. ex: "you went to ...", "you said ..."
episode summary: the vikings return home and are finally allowed to reap the consequences of their disobedience. (cw: mature themes)
the echoes of metal clangs and ambient mooing filled the bright midmorning sky. the sporadic ringing of the cowbells contrasted perfectly with the rhythmic footsteps of horses approaching. and beyond the seemingly endless green flatlands stood a great mead hall, where a reception party was already waiting.
“erling!” a familiar voice called to jarl haraldson, who busied himself helping his wife and daughter dismount from horseback.
“it has been too long since you have set foot in svealand!”
jarl haraldson beckoned for his family members to curtsy to the white-bearded, grandfatherly figure standing before them all. his smile continued to widen as he opened his arms, in great contrast to the man he was welcoming.
“it is wonderful to see you once more, at a joyous occasion such as this.” the old man’s head seemed to nod as he spoke, although it may have been a more involuntary shaking.
“likewise,” the jarl started, disinterested as ever, “i’d like for you to meet my wife, sigrún.”
the old man took her hand, kissing it near where the armband rested.
“and this is my daughter, þyri.”
the old man seemed particularly enchanted by þyri, raising an eyebrow slightly as he repeated the same gesture. the young woman used her other hand to swipe curly brown locks from out of her face, her rosy lips pursing into a straight line as she tried to conceal her unease.
“well, i’m sure you are all very tired from the journey. my servants will show the women and their ladies in waiting to their quarters, where you may feel free to freshen up before this evening’s marvelous banquet.” the old man clasped his hands together, all the while grinning from ear to ear.
þyri couldn’t help but pull her father aside, “you’ve not said a word about who this man is.”
“your handmaidens will explain it to you,” he did not reciprocate her discreet volume, in an attempt to shirk off the conversation, “just understand that he is a very important man, and pleasing him is our top priority.”
sigrún stayed back, her brows furrowing in a similar level of concern, as her daughter was ushered out of sight in one swift moment.
“siggy, dear, please. us men are going to be discussing business.” jarl haraldson clearly did not appreciate his wife’s apprehension, though he did not do much to disabuse her of it.
her grey-blue eyes wore a thin line of kohl on the upper lid, although her husband could still see them trembling behind it, “my capable husband, i only wish to know the nature of our visit, to this land which is completely new to our daughter and i.”
“jarl bjarni is going to be taking good care of us. we will sup in his halls this evening, and if your heart wills it so, we may leave at any point after that.” jarl haraldson was resolute, trying to end the discussion there, but his wife knew him too well.
stopping him with a gentle grip on his arm, sigrún posited, “and what of þyri?”
the jarl murmured reluctantly, “she will not be at liberty to come with us.”
a chilling breeze swept through sigrún’s hair, as beads of sweat seemed to turn to icicles clinging to her back. her husband hurried off, his demeanor callous as he caught up with jarl bjarni, who appeared as jovial as a man his age could be. a horde of servant women suddenly crowded around sigrún, trying to escort her away delicately, though their touch on her arms felt more so menacing. she had to swat them off like flies around a fresh corpse, and trudging forward on her own, she hoped that she might be able to do something - anything - if she got to her daughter soon enough.
once sigrún finally approached the door to þyri’s chambers, the faint sound of her only child weeping formed a darkness too vast to think through in the lady’s chest.
-
björn was eager to set out that morning, running around the house collecting his wooden shield and wooden sword, he nearly stepped on a couple of the family’s pigs in his haste. crumbs of his breakfast were still stuck to his lips.
“björn,” his mother called out from a window, “wait just a moment. there is a matter i wish to discuss with you today.”
the boy’s shoulders visibly deflated as he exited the blaring sunlight and shuffled into the family kitchen, where lagertha was pacing in the comparatively dank room, surrounded by black cooking pots that had yet to be cleaned.
“what is it, mother?” he asked, his tone sounding concerned, but a bit more for himself than for his poor mother.
“one of the neighbor women invited me to an evening at her sister’s residence in kattegat,” lagertha kept taking absentminded steps back and forth, apparently unable to stop herself from fidgeting, “it’s going to be a supper gathering just for a few women, i take it, for their old friends to catch up after a long while.”
“it wasn’t haftýr’s mother, was it? her hair looks like bird nests.” the young björn bluntly protested.
“she is a good woman! and, you should be thankful that she continues to allow you to torment her son with those toys every day.” lagertha gestured sardonically at her son’s makeshift weaponry, the boy pouting in response.
“if father would only allow me to train with real steel, as he did gyda, then it would not seem to onlookers that haftýr and i were jabbing each other with playthings!”
“then, perhaps upon your next visit to kattegat, your mother shall buy you a real weapon.” lagertha finally settled down, her mind slowly easing into the idea as she spoke it.
“really? you would take me with you?” björn perked up.
“well, i was more so hoping you would take me with you. my son is now a man in his own right, and has made the trip before, having lived in the outskirts of kattegat for his whole life. whereas i hail from hedeby, and have only ever voyaged to kattegat when your father has been there to guide me.” lagertha adopted a playful tone, enjoying her son’s adorable attempts at adulthood.
“father did tell me once that a woman should always be accompanied by a man if venturing out past sunset,” lagertha watched as björn cocked his head to the side and scratched his scalp, probably only half-remembering his father’s words, “and he used to tell me to watch over you and gyda when he would go away. but i did not think he meant it seriously, did he?”
“i am sure he did,” lagertha allowed her thought to trail off, the realization that these likely were ragnar’s teachings slowly dawning on her, “so it is decided. if we depart for kattegat within the hour, we can arrive before sundown tomorrow.”
björn jumped in place, excitedly scurrying around outside once more, only this time to prepare the livestock for their absence. trips to kattegat increasingly meant big changes for his family - and björn was intent on having his manhood proven, being a permanent shift.
-
þyri’s once defined cheeks became puffy and damp; dripping with tears and mucus, red around the eyes and nose, both from crying and from screaming. a servant girl had tied her hair into a loose knot, but the pieces that fell framing her face were still subjected to being soaked in salt and snot.
handmaidens frantically altered her bridal dress, their hands buzzing over her entire body like bees trying to locate their queen.
“you can’t let father give me away like this, mother i beg of you!” the young maid wailed, though she had already learned not to squirm, as her sides now boasted almost as many prick marks as a pin cushion.
“believe me, sweet daughter, for i am not pleased with these circumstances either,” sigrún proclaimed, not meaning to yell but her volume perhaps grew with the tension in the room, “although i wish to end this demeaning betrothal and whisk you away from this wretched place, the dowry has already been secured, and i am told that your father has brokered a very favorable deal in exchange for your hand.”
a vein on the side of sigrún’s temple bulged out, the sight of so many sets of foreign hands grasping at her daughter became harder to stomach.
“be still, lady þyri, we urge you,” one of sigrún’s own ladies in waiting tried to reason with þyri, “there is only eye kohl left to be applied, and then you may don your bridal wreaths.”
“then please, allow me to do it!” sigrún suddenly erupted, more authoritative than any of her servants had ever heard before.
from one of the pockets of her cloak, she took out a small drawstring bag, inside of which was a pot of kohl and a fine horse hair brush. she held her daughter’s face in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe warm tears, as being eye level with þyri caused her own tears to bubble up.
“you will be a beautiful bride. just have patience from this moment, and i shall draw thick strokes of kohl around your exhausted eyes, so that your new husband and new subjects will not pester you.” sigrún cooed, giving þyri the opportunity to steady her breaths and compose herself.
“if melancholy should befall you again,” the lady continued, “at least save your sobs for the bridal chambers. you are not obligated to bed the jarl, nor are you expected to bear him sons, as his line of succession is beyond secure. your only duty is to placate him, and in doing so, you placate your father. he has had many troubles as of late.”
“i am not a bargaining chip for father to use as he pleases. i should have, at the very least, been given notice beforehand.” þyri seethed, her eyes almost welling up again out of anger.
“you are our only living child, and therefore, you are your father’s greatest asset. he was willing to sacrifice even you for an alliance with this ancient man, so does that not speak volumes as to his desperation?” sigrún reasoned.
finished with the black kohl, she stepped back and admired her handiwork from a distance, trying not to be bothered by her daughter’s dejected expression beneath it all. a handmaiden promptly swooped in and draped a wreath woven with summer blossoms over þyri’s shoulders, while a matching floral crown was set atop her head.
in one last attempt at reaching out for comfort, the young maid shakily grabbed at her mother’s hand, intent on walking into the mead hall side-by-side.
rows and rows of oaken dining tables were arranged, and the seats were subsequently filled with rowdy off-duty soldiers, that barked and cheered when the bride arrived. jarl bjarni was waiting at a raised platform in the middle of the room, its short sides decorated with flowers and lit candles that glowed warm yellow as the sun set outside. musicians playing drums of various sizes and opulent harps were stationed in a corner. servants poured mugs of fine ale and wine, with the particularly elegant ones assigned to the jarl’s new father-in-law.
by all measures, it seemed as though this was a ceremony that all of svealand was present for, and that none of its residents should soon forget.
þyri reluctantly let go of her mother, who then assumed a seat next to her husband. looking on with a particularly dull and apathetic gaze, jarl haraldson watched as his only surviving bloodline was wed to a makeshift alliance that would deteriorate in less than a decade. although, he sweetened the situation by keeping his cup full for the whole night.
the feast and accompanying festivities carried on as dancers danced to the bards’ nauseating rhythms, and the fragrance of roasted meat seemed to trap the great hall in its own greasy noxious cloud. at one point in the evening, some kind of sweet course was served. and although the puddings and pastries smelled appetizingly of cinnamon, the obtuse amounts of butter in every dish had þyri forcing down each bite and gulping at her drink.
a middle-aged man dressed in clean furs with a gilded dagger strapped to his waist, approached þyri, and she presumed him to be the jarl’s son. he slurred together something resembling a sentence, and the young bride could only bring herself to nod along politely.
“my fine jutish beauty,” the elderly jarl interjected, “pay my foolish son no mind, for he can hold his liquors no better than a linen sack can hold wellwater. come, let us slip away and enjoy the peace of our bridal bed.”
dreading this moment with all of her being, þyri thought back to her mother explaining how necessary it was to be in her new husband’s good graces. she smiled wearily, accepting the hand that he offered her and heading out unnoticed into the deep blue night.
the bridal chambers were only a short walk away, though upon opening its doors, the jarl huffed and puffed as if he had ran all the way there.
“tonight was very lively indeed,” he plopped down onto the side of the bed, “i do not have much tolerance for such commotion nowadays.”
as þyri cautiously approached the bed, she was hit with an intrusive stench when the jarl breathed with his mouth open. his breath seemed to reek of fermented fish, which þyri did not recall being served at supper. she turned away only for a short moment to process her shock, but as she looked back at the jarl, he had already rolled over and immediately fallen asleep. the bride’s instincts told her to feel insulted, though she was only glad her maidenhood would live to see another day.
-
lagertha pushed the hood of her cloak back from its position over her head, revealing her silky blonde hair, and braid that wrapped around her skull like a crown. she was in awe of the late afternoon sky, with its hues of orange and pink, as björn was apparently also quite impressed with the speediness of their journey.
“…with father’s route, we would’ve taken at least until sundown!” he was in the middle of exclaiming, childishly oblivious to the other villagers side-eyeing him for shouting.
“now, björn,” lagertha placed her hands firmly onto his shoulders, bending her back to maintain eye contact, “you have the choice of sleeping tonight in the home of your friend haftýr’s aunt - though the gathering will consist of only women, and you will have no friends to play with - or we may take up the vacant bed of your uncle rollo, whose longhouse is not too far from the center of town.”
“mother, i wish to stay by your side and protect you like a good man,” björn started, his chubby cheeks naturally forming a pout as he furrowed his eyebrows, eliciting a proud smile from his mother, “but i cannot bear to sit through an evening full of wenches trading child stories or discussing soup recipes.”
lagertha straightened herself out, the grin on her lips becoming a scowl, “you dare call your mother’s chums wenches. this must be what your father has taught you to think of women at child-rearing age, lest you forget that your own mother is still a famous shieldmaiden!”
“i could never forget such a thing, mother, seeing as you remind me every day!” björn retorted.
“as i will continue to do until my son truly understands what it means.” letting out an irritated sigh, lagertha reached into her pocket and pulled out two items.
“here,” she handed björn a silver shilling, “when i am through trading child stories and discussing soup recipes, i will fetch you. but in the meantime, take this to the blacksmith and buy whatever your heart desires.”
in lagertha’s other hand, she held the hilt of a small hunting dagger, the blade of which was covered by a worn leather sheath.
“if you are really a man, you will not allow yourself to become the mark of petty thieves.” she placed the dagger’s hilt side into björn’s hand, folding his fingers over the top. she was almost loathe to loosen her grip.
“from what i observed last time, kattegat is very safe,” björn tried to console his mother, although he was seemingly just as nervous for her to leave, “i can handle an evening on my own. worry not.”
lagertha sent her son off with the stroke of her thumb across his cheek, tender yet brief. watching his short stature disappear into a crowd of other townsfolk was a most humbling feeling, as even the fierce shieldmaiden quickly found herself powerless to the will of the gods. after so many years of marriage and motherhood, lagertha was now alone once more - and for the first time, she was lucky enough to find companionship outside of her family. she corrected her posture and marched with conviction towards the house that was described to her by the neighbor.
it was a modest single family cabin, similar in size to lagertha’s own dwelling, though it had little outside space and was packed in somewhat tightly with the surrounding structures. smoke emulated through the designated openings in each house’s roof, signifying that the families of kattegat were all cooking dinner or lounging by the hearth; a simple joy that lagertha would not have been able to take part in, had she gone raiding with her husband. which was objectively a good fate, she tried to convince herself.
approaching the door to the cabin in question, lagertha got close enough to overhear the recognizable voice of her neighbor.
“my haftýr is so desperate to become a viking like his father,” the neighbor, who went by hlín, seemed to be in the midst of telling a grandiose tale judging by her exaggerated tone, “he will eat anything to grow taller and stronger! the neighborhood children once goaded him into eating a concoction made of mud, twigs, and disgusting things that they found outside. haftýr finished the whole bowl, and claimed that the only ingredient to his distaste was coriander!”
child stories and soup recipes. the piercing noise of the other women in the room seemingly exploding with laughs, mocked lagertha’s ears. she stepped away from the door, which was open a crack, pressing her back against the exterior wall of the house. all she could do was stare into the cloudless sky, breathing shallow, anxious breaths. the only truth she had known in all her life was that she did not belong in the kitchen.
she did not belong with those women. she would not allow herself to.
lagertha tried peaking through the open door once more, doing well to keep herself out of the line of sight. as she turned to leave, deciding to mercifully dispatch this misadventure, the setting sun blinded her momentarily.
she bumped into the backside of a woman walking by. but this woman was unlike any other she’d encountered before. the top of her head towered over lagertha, though the woman’s back seemed to be hunched over with terrible posture. the woman’s hair was long and graying, woven into a braid that could not disguise the tangled nature of it. the woman was dressed in tattered rags, her brown skirt somehow too long for even her spindly legs, the bottom of it looking torn and stained with dried mud.
lagertha’s stomach admittedly dropped when the woman finally turned around, keenly aware that she’d just given her only weapon to her son. lagertha was not looking to fight this woman, though upon finally seeing her face, she was too flabbergasted to try diffusing the situation.
the first place that lagertha’s eyes were drawn to was the wispy beard that adorned the lower third of woman’s face. the spot where her left eye should’ve been, seemed to be lacking any eye socket at all, whereas the right eye was covered by an old bandage.
“care to pity a wretched being,” the woman spoke, her voice clearly a male voice, “you may unlock your future for merely the price of a hot meal.”
lagertha nodded - although in vain - as she processed the situation, “are you a seiðmaðr?”
“i am many things. as are you. a daughter, a wife, a mother, a shieldmaiden,” lagertha swallowed a lump, becoming unnerved by the cryptic speech of the seiðmaðr, “i am a fortune seer of sorts. i am mímir.”
as lagertha’s mind raced, arguing with itself over whether or not to trust this stranger, the seer’s tall frame turned and left without warning. lagertha stammered for a moment, unsure of how to regain his attention, although she ultimately decided to just follow him. surely any good fortune seer would notice somehow.
weaving through the narrow streets of kattegat, the seer led lagertha at a surprisingly fast pace back to his abode. it was something of a wooden shack, much smaller than the other houses in the area. but the inside exhibited no kitchen, hearth, or any other rooms at all. the door opened to reveal simply a box, in the center were two stones, big enough for sitting on. and to the side, there lay a row of sacks on the floor, placed into a line just long enough for the seer to sleep on. as small of a space as it was, it was made even denser by the decorum that hung from the ceiling. they seemed to be dangling fish skeletons, chiming hollowly as they knocked against one another.
lagertha had known zealous mystics before - her husband’s friend flóki being a prime example - but this fortune seer’s home felt like entering another world. a world where men were at the mercy of magic. it was intimidating for the mighty shieldmaiden to feel so small in comparison, but the seer simply sat on one of the stones and waited for lagertha to follow suit. he did not seem interested in anything other than reciting prophecy, though lagertha’s own mind had already decided that a future told in such a place couldn’t be anything but bleak.
“so,” lagertha sat with a grunt, her demeanor switched to being straightforward and authoritative, wanting to shift some of the power back to herself, “how does seið usually work?”
“ask not about the present time,” the seer croaked, “for my sight extends only into the mists of evermore.”
“then, what about evermore? where is my place in the future that you see?” she asked assertively, growing impatient.
“you concern yourself much with your place in life. but take comfort in knowing that there is no such place here for you. not on the battlefield, though you have not had your fill of blood. and not in the birthing bed, though the bridal bed beckons you still. no, you will not feast in valhöll, nor frolic in fólkvangr. you shall only feel the comforting cushion of soil beneath your back.”
lagertha leaned back from the fortune seer, coiling into herself as she blinked furiously, troubled by what she’d heard. the seer licked his thin, cracked lips that had a sort of permanently frost bitten look, as they were so dry they turned a grayish blue in the center.
“how am i meant to be comfortable with such venomous doctrine?” she growled quietly, fuming so hotly she could barely muster enough air to form the words.
“for an extra shilling you may receive a more thorough reading with the oracle lots.” the seer toyed with a small pouch in his calloused hand, its contents rattling with the sound of the carved sticks he spoke of.
“why should i concern myself with any more of this foolishness, after the putrid invention you’ve spouted thus far?” lagertha straightened out her skirt, almost ready to get up from her seat.
“i would tell you the tale of the little bear.”
lagertha stopped in her tracks, the seer once again successfully piquing her interest.
“you speak of my son,” she pursed her lips with subtle ire, “whose delivery went totally without incident, though the womb from which he came now suddenly and inexplicably lay barren. is that the kind of fantastical tale you would have me believe, you sodomite?”
“go on then,” the seer’s voice became an inhospitable grumble, “the boy shall have to draw his own lots if he wishes to hear their secrets. he is welcome to do so, once his mother gains appreciation for the true nature of seið.”
lagertha took this as her cue to leave, not wanting to entangle herself any further with such an unpleasant magician - and possibly scam artist. although, the seer sensed her hesitation as she let her hand linger upon the misshapen door of his hut.
“allfather óðinn lost his eye in order to acquire the knowledge of the nine worlds. he sacrificed it to my namesake and drank from the well of infinite wisdom. yes, shieldmaiden, we must all lose to gain.”
she breathed deeply one last time before pushing through to the outside world again, the fishbone garlands scoring her exit with a sort of percussive serenade. the evening sky, which was now completely dark, disoriented her as she made haste to find björn near town square.
the stars that speckled the indigo abyss illuminated the boy’s hay yellow hair. the top of his head poked out from under a thatched awning, where the local blacksmith displayed some of his more eye-catching crafts. whatever chilling atmosphere was present in the seer’s shack melted away, as lagertha felt a wave of warmth in her heart, seeing björn acting friendly with a few other men there. they were older, past prime raiding age, and it seemed that one of them had offered the boy a horn of ale. it was clear they’d been charmed by his earnestness, as most everyone who met him was. lagertha smiled with a contentment so sincere, yet almost melancholic - envious, even.
she headed over to join her son, finding out that the brawny blacksmith was recommending a short sword for björn to train with as a novice viking. but the boy kept gravitating towards the stack of shields that rested against the display table. they were nowhere near as glamorous as the other goods on display, but björn recalled distinctly how his father bought one similarly as gyda’s first piece of equipment. lagertha patted her son’s back encouragingly, proud to give her coin for this purpose.
“a great warrior knows that to guard himself is most important,” lagertha remarked, “you have truly proven yourself today, my son.”
the blacksmith fastened a strap to the shield so that björn could wear it over his shoulder, and with a playful tussle of the boy’s hair, he sent the two customers on their way. lagertha linked arms with björn, guiding the both of them toward where she remembered ragnar mentioned his brother’s longhouse was. björn also knew the way, and when they finally arrived, he found that he knew something else which his mother was never made aware of.
“can i help you?” a woman opened the door, perhaps not much older than lagertha, although her tired expression and shabby dress made her appear very crone-like.
lagertha was almost too puzzled to reply, so björn stepped in, “we’re kinsmen of rollo, the raider. he has allowed us to take refuge in his vacant quarters for the evening.”
“ah yes, rollo has kin out on the sandy skagens odde…” the woman muttered, seemingly to herself, as the door creaked all the way open. the kitchen area now exposed, lagertha raised an eyebrow at the sight of several small children eating at the table, with a gauntly thin man who was presumably their father.
“why does your uncle live with this family?” lagertha whispered as she and björn slinked over to the far side of the house.
“they are kinsmen of his friend arne. uncle, torstein, and arne share the other half of this longhouse together, so as to travel more quickly to the jarl’s assemblies. torstein told me that he used to serve as jarl haraldson’s personal guard.” the boy paused his excited anecdote as he happened upon what was obviously his uncle’s bed.
in the unlit corner of the house, there were three single beds, each in varying states of disarray and still smelling faintly of sweat. there was no divider between the bachelors’ quarters and the family’s, though the difference in cleanliness felt to lagertha like separation enough.
she got started lighting a candle, “i suppose once your uncle starts a family of his own, he will have to find a new residence. perhaps even a single family dwelling, akin to ours.”
“in size alone, perhaps,” björn exhaled as he flopped down onto one of the beds, “but uncle will never be a boring, meek farmer like us. it is a lifestyle suitable for no one. you of all people should understand, mother.”
“it is a lifestyle suitable for parents with children, that is why we endure it, sweet björn. your father had already proven himself an excellent raider - he could have pulled himself from poverty with sheer talent - but when i became pregnant with your sister, he devoted himself to caring for her. being a raider or a hired warrior is demanding; the jarl of kattegat is paranoid and tough on his men, and living in the village is cramped. your father knew that being present was the best thing for his children, above being wealthy or famous. and he thusly joins only the first annual raids.”
“so you also gave up your dream of being famous raider?”
“for me, that was not a dream. it was simply my reality. before my first raids, most danesmen had never even seen a shieldmaiden with their own eyes. but i dreamt not for fame or fortune. i only wished to live happily - which i’ve now done for many years.”
lagertha felt a smile forming as her son, the object of her happiness, fluttered his eyes open and shut - much like a baby falling asleep to a story. she puttered about, trying to the best of her abilities to tidy up the belongings of her brother-in-law, before ultimately giving in to her tiredness. she chose the bed that was the more pleasant smelling of the two options, although its pillow sported long strands of hair in multiple colors. lagertha resolved to be content in not wondering how many other women had spent the night in this bed, and simply made herself comfortable in it. almost about to blow out the candle, she felt the call of nature, and opted to relieve herself one last time before turning in.
lagertha tiptoed across the house, noticing that the other children - all four of them - were huddled together in the same bed, being sung to sleep by their mother. the surly woman’s voice was no more pleasant than her appearance, but lagertha was just relieved to know that the children wouldn’t be running around or making noise whilst she slept. a basin of stillwater was placed in between the family’s beds and their hearth, filled with cookware. the father of the family squatted behind it, damp rag in hand, though it didn’t seem that his arms were moving at all. his empty gaze was palpable on lagertha as she opened the front door cautiously, and stumbled through the darkness to find a suitable hedge.
lagertha found herself blinking uncontrollably, gripping to the side of the house as her eyes adjusted to the blackness. as she finally reached the back of the house, she crouched down over a secluded patch of grass, once she was sure she was alone.
“how decent can a woman be,” a growling voice from behind lagertha’s back sent icy shivers up her spine, “if she so easily leaves her husband’s side, and exposes herself to another man?”
lagertha was reluctant to turn around, knowing whose unsightly face to expect when she did. and, as she arose anxiously, she remembered that her hunting dagger was still residing amongst björn’s belongings.
“there was no need to follow me if you did not wish to see me exposed,” lagertha’s voice shook as she tried to maintain composure, “indeed, only the indecent man seeks to mask his true dispositions.”
she finally allowed herself to face the wretched man - arne’s brother - and his top lip twitched with boiling rage.
“you are no shieldmaiden. you conduct yourself like a common whore.” the man’s withered and blackened teeth showed themselves as his expression morphed into a sinister smile.
from lagertha’s position behind the house, she would have to run past the man and nimbly around some bushes, if she wanted to get to the main street. she lunged left and then right, buying herself a head start over the man. then, she darted towards the light that was emanating from another nearby house, praying that the people inside would hear the commotion.
once on the clearing of the dirt road, lagertha’s heart dropped, when she realized that not a single soul was in sight. no one was milling about on the wide streets, as townsfolk often did in the daylight. kattegat after nightfall was like a void, and lagertha now fell prey to the pull of its cavernous maw. but, as she turned to face her attacker once more, now outrunning him by a safe distance, she remembered just how valiantly she had been fighting to rid herself of this weakness.
lagertha got into a hand-to-hand combat stance; she was not merely a wife, nor a mother, nor daughter, nor whore, nor victim, and not simply a decent woman. she was a shieldmaiden in the truest sense and her ferocity became her armor.
her left foot planted firmly on the ground, lagertha extended her right leg and kicked the man squarely in his stomach. he grunted as if the life had been torn from his body. although he’d been pushed back a good few paces, he answered by allowing his gangly arms to flail around haphazardly, attempting to strike lagertha at her left side. expertly, she raised her battle-hardened forearm to block his fist, though he used his other leg to sweep along the dusty path and trip her. she fell upon her rear end.
lagertha’s dastardly gown and cloak prevented her from getting back up as swiftly as she’d liked. she could only look up at the man’s dreadful face, feeling lowly like a worm as she dragged herself backwards.
“now you submit like a good whore,” the man mumbled through heavy breaths, “only now that you are powerless to my will. you ought to have learned by now that a man’s affections are only as sweet as his intended.”
lagertha slowed her desperate crawling to a halt, her forehead steaming with sweat in the dead cold of night. she took one last breath as the man just about hovered above her. she dug her hands into the gravel behind her.
then, with stunning athleticism and flexibility, lagertha’s back arched. she flung her body into a horseshoe shape and lifted her dominant leg, kicking the gaunt man in his groin. the momentum of her blow knocked him backwards as he attempted to catch himself by his elbows. he soon curled up in pain, and lagertha took this as an opportunity to finish the deed with a message.
“how dare you!” she screamed, her voice scarce as the air in her lungs was going toward kicking the man while he hugged his knees to his chest.
“you will not take! what belongs to me!” she exclaimed breathlessly and hysterically in between kicks.
eventually, the man propped himself up with the least sore of his two arms, and hobbled off into the darkness. lagertha lost sight of him, for she didn’t care to see more of him anyways. finding a nearby tree to compose herself against, lagertha pressed her back against the bark and allowed her head to fall backwards. her breathing couldn’t slow, despite her best efforts, as tears erupted from her squeezed shut eyes - the water scalding and salty, like runoff from a sulphuric geyser.
quiet, helpless sobs continued to pour out of lagertha, to the point that she didn’t notice the steady footsteps along the dirt road. they veered off into the wild grass and got louder, yet slower. lagertha attempted to soothe herself by folding her arms and letting her fingers massage her own elbows. her sorrow momentarily on pause, the figure that arrived in front of lagertha gave her a great shock.
“it does not take a soothsayer to recognize the distress you are in,” uttered the familiarly hoarse voice of mímir, the seer, “collect the little bear. i shall await you both, shieldmaiden.”
still battling some leftover sniffles, lagertha watched, confounded, as the seer vanished into the night. his tall, bony silhouette resembled a needle falling into a murky pool. between ghastly lechers and buxom soon-to-be crones, lagertha only felt more isolated than ever, having reaffirmed her suspicions that kattegat truly held no place for her.
not all men were good men like ragnar, and even he, lagertha was beginning to reckon, would not understand her plight. although, the seer was not quite a man, was he?
presupposing the seer expected lagertha to wordlessly follow him to his hut as before, she dashed into the longhouse to awake björn. the boy, still more asleep than not, got to hitch a ride on his mother’s back and made it practically to the other side of town without questioning the disheveled state of her once regal hairstyle.
lagertha laid björn down on the coarse sacks that seemed to be seer’s bed. he grumbled a faint complaint under his breath before drifting back off as if his slumber had never been disturbed.
the boy’s mother looked on. lagertha’s brows had furrowed into a perpetual worry, made even more obvious by the fact that she’d normally break into an uncontrollable grin at the sight of her son so peaceful. the seer simply stood at her side, the stone stool before his feet. without contorting his face nor motioning with his hands, lagertha understood that he wanted her to sit.
“i thought i had yet seen all the evils of men,” lagertha started, “for what viking raid is conducted without the plundering of some local women’s bodies?”
mímir sat too, expressionless.
“being on the other end… i loathe to admit that it has frightened me away. but alas, where would i seek refuge? at the hearth? like a wench kneading rye into bread, while my husband is free to fight and fuck to his heart’s content? before i had a husband, i too was free!” lagertha’s lips quivered as she found herself leaning into the seer, her volumed capped at a frantic whisper, though she made sure her point was being received.
“my input contains no prophecy, shieldmaiden, so you may find it suitable to be expressed.”
the guttural drone of the seer’s voice forced lagertha to forget her frustrations - if only for a moment, to focus on the trepidation she still felt from his unsettling presence.
“all men are slaves to their own shortcomings,” he continued, “cowards cannot have their choice of women through legitimate means; they can only seek the freedom of pleasure through force. but the coward is bound to treachery, and is doomed to be defeated. a raider married to the freedom of the sea can be brought to his knees by the bindings of that temptress - the drink. but he still forges the chains.”
lagertha blinked and sighed with all the air in her chest, “i know that ragnar has his own troubles. he seems to let his worries stew within him all day, and never wants to burden me with his woes.”
“his woes and yours weigh the same, shieldmaiden.”
“o cryptic one, i must concede! please, tell me what you make of our future! i fear that both of our woes combined would weigh too heavily on our marriage.”
lagertha had to stop herself from leaping into the seer’s arms and shaking the answers out of him. he never once moved.
“in your future, i see a little bear, as i stated before. truthfully, there are many bears. and serpents. and a hound.”
“i used to live further inland, on a mountaintop. there, i had a great hound and a fierce bear guarding my abode. my husband, ragnar, slew them both to win my hand in marriage. then, he went on to slay a legendary serpent, and now there lives not a soul that hasn’t heard of the shaggy breeches he wore on that day.”
“that was the past, my fair shieldmaiden. in your future, i see that your husband will not be able to protect you from these beasts. the bears, i see, are a family. one with fur white as snow, another crossing the ocean blue, and the last married to a princess; her crown gold as barley corn. the serpents, i see, are twins; one may not be born without the other. the dog, i see, will demand your demise.”
lagertha shifted back in her seat, the seer’s words haunting the air around them. all she could do was let this sinking feeling wash over her. with a shaky exhale, lagertha turned her attention to the drawstring pouch that was secured to her leather waist belt, and took a shilling out of it. mímir was clearly privy to the sounds that these objects were making, though he did not accept the offering when lagertha extended her hand to him.
instead, the seer rose from his seat, snuffed out the one candle that just barely lit up the room, and stood outside the wooden shack - keeping watch over the shieldmaiden and her son - where it seemed that he remained all night.
-
the weather at the harbor of kattegat was grim, the sun shone through not a single cloud as whispers of rain began to drip from the heavens. flóki had intended for his snekke ship to be brought back to the river near his house, though ragnar anticipated that the jarl would be waiting for them.
indeed, jarl haraldson had a unit of ten armed men stationed by the ports, offering an unsurprisingly cold reception to the returning raiders.
as the boat steadily approached the docks, gyda shrunk into her father’s side, perhaps more afraid than she ever was of any saxon. no one - neither ragnar’s crew nor the jarl’s - spoke a word. the sound of æthelstan’s teeth chattering thus became even more obvious. occupying the seat on the other side of ragnar, he scratched his head anxiously, short hairs already growing into the bald spot he usually shaved.
ragnar’s eye twitched as he sized up the jarl’s men; each of them tall and broad, their hands menacingly gripping at the hilts of their swords.
ragnar simply leaned back and tried not to let it bother him, at least to set an example for the rest of the raiding party. for a few fleeting moments, he allowed himself to be still, until his ear twitched at the shivering monk next to him.
he grabbed the small holy book that æthelstan stowed away under his robes, and with one swift motion, ragnar tossed it overboard.
rollo, torstein, and arne busied themselves tying the ship to the port, meanwhile æthelstan pitifully scrambled to reach for his sinking bible. the two other saxon monks onboard urged him in their native tongue to calm down.
“silence!” ragnar boomed. his daughter had never seen him become so enraged so quickly.
helga and flóki looked on with unease and unbridled glee, respectively.
“you simpleminded saxons forget that óðinn was the father of your people! you will show him the respect he deserves, here in his domain, or i will personally send you into the depths along with the words of your wicked christ!” ragnar had thoroughly exhausted his vocal range yelling, to the point that a vein flashed across the side of his neck like a lightning bolt.
one of the monks, a timid old man, managed to lock eyes with ragnar. for a second, the man’s trembling pupils gleamed with intent, as if he too was going to stand up and start preaching. ragnar’s upper lip instinctively curled with disgust as a second wave of rage rushed throughout his body. the viking roared like an aggravated beast and punched, with his bare fist, one of the decorative trims off the stern of the ship.
flóki’s smile promptly disappeared.
“torstein,” one of the burly soldiers standing at the dock called out, “your presence was missed at the raid in pomerania. how is it you’ve neglected to inform us of this merry ball we could have attended instead?”
the jarl’s men all shared a laugh.
the atmosphere on the ship was tense, torstein retorted through a clenched jaw, “refer not to me. ragnar loðbrók is the fearless leader of this band.”
“so you admit then,” the same soldier responded, “ragnar loðbrók is either a renegade or a fool.”
once the boat was close enough to the dock, members of the raiding party started to climb out of it. several of them held sacks full of riches and flóki held the rope that tied the three captive monks in a line. ragnar, from his position at the last bench onboard, was the last to reach the pier.
the jarl’s soldier - who must have known torstein from his time in the jarl’s employ - tried to intimidate ragnar. the viking’s admittedly average sized frame never once flinched, though.
“why don’t we let jarl haraldson decide this matter?” the man’s red, sun-damaged face and even redder beard taunted ragnar, as the jarl’s soldiers all snickered again. the burly soldier confronting ragnar then grabbed both of the viking’s arms, as other men did the same to rollo, flóki, torstein, and arne.
gyda’s eyes darted around frantically, unsure of what to do or how to help, at one point her gaze even settled on æthelstan for some kind of cue. a hand soon landed on the girl’s shoulder, but it was only helga. the group of them were being so cordially escorted to the jarl’s assembly hall.
-
jarl haraldson was ushered out of his chambers and into the great hall, after picking at his midday meal and finishing the entire accompanying mug of ale. his wife, who would usually join him in judicial affairs, was for the past several days too heartbroken to even leave her bed.
the relatively lackluster building was already full to the brim with townsfolk murmuring amongst themselves, all too eager to be entertained by the latest drama. and right on schedule, the main players were brought in by jarl haraldson’s guard.
“well, well, well, if it isn’t the heroic ragnar loðbrók,” the jarl relished in a rare opportunity to be smug, although his face quickly fell as his men began emptying the raiders’ loot onto the floor, “how did you find the english isle?”
ragnar maintained his composure, “the weather was not very pleasant, honorable jarl.”
“i take it the saxons mounted an awesome defense,” the jarl casually sat upon his ornate cherry wood throne, “judging by the measly haul of slaves you seem to have brought back.”
some of the spectating villagers laughed.
“on the contrary, jarl haraldson, the saxons we encountered were feeble and the plunder was plentiful. my own daughter, a mere novice with the blade, was able to capture one of these slaves here.” ragnar explained.
the jarl shifted his focus from the booty for a split second, only to find himself aghast by the sight of the girl at ragnar’s side.
“your daughter…” he trailed off, his mouth hanging slightly open, “i pray she would be but a novice with the blade, for this girl is but a child!”
the crowd seemed to exhibit mixed reactions, as did the raiders themselves. rollo wrapped an arm around his niece’s waist, wanting to shelter her from the jarl’s wrath, since the girl’s father was preoccupied with trying to win in the court of public opinion.
ragnar took a calming breath and began to explain again, “her stature may be small, jarl haraldson, but my daughter is older than her brother, whose coming of age ceremony you recently presided over.”
“loðbrók, children are a treasure worth more than any piece of gold in all the nine worlds. thus, i beseech you to tread carefully… the next time you plan to bring your sweet daughter on a raid.” as soon as the last word left jarl haraldson’s lips, rollo and gyda exchanged excited glances.
helga gasped audibly as several of the other raiders rejoiced between themselves. ragnar, however, did not break his emotionless exterior. he was in no way interested in letting the jarl get what he wanted.
“yes, ragnar and crew,” the jarl went on, “i will mercifully waive all punishment for your disobedience in this endeavor. you will be permitted to return to england and raid with full legal recognition in my jurisdiction. but, as a tax for bringing pillaged goods into my domain, i shall decree that each raider will be allowed one item of plunder. the rest will go towards financing future raids.”
the jarl’s declaration elicited loud chatter from the townsfolk. it seemed that most of them were distracted by the last part about future raids, praise coming from the spectators and whining from the raiders.
torstein’s old friend, the red soldier, pushed him forward with a bracing slap to the back, “get on with it then! everyone choose their one item.”
ragnar’s raiding party took turns going to and fro the pile, all the while their leader never broke eye contact with the jarl.
“you know, loðbrók,” the jarl addressed ragnar directly, his volume just low enough that onlookers wouldn’t interrupt, “if so much as a hair on your girl’s head is harmed during the next raid, i’ll see to it your testicles are floating in a jar of saltwater brine. even in norway, they tell stories of vikings sailing too far south and encountering vicious saxon warriors that still fight like the saxons of the old country. so take great caution.”
ragnar desired so desperately to quip back with something witty, but the jarl’s warning was startlingly ominous. the wanderer who gave ragnar his trusted compass had specifically suggested to sail south along the english coast. surely the words of such a greedy man deserved to be heeded far less than those of an experienced traveler.
“brother,” the red soldier barked, and suddenly it dawned on ragnar that he was addressing the jarl, “only ragnar loðbrók is left to pick his plunder.”
ragnar looked to his side and noticed gyda holding a silver wine pitcher, rollo was admiring a golden necklace inlaid with red jewels, and flóki and helga had chosen a set of matching chalices.
ragnar approached the pile cautiously. deep in his heart, he knew he hadn’t the slightest idea what to even look for. then, he looked above the pile, and saw the three monks off in the corner of the room; their wrists bound together by the rope which was now being held by a member of the jarl’s guard. æthelstan stood by his lonesome on the far end, his jaw still visibly chattering as though he’d been frozen.
“i shall take the boy priest,” ragnar announced, pointing to æthelstan, “what better than a living memory of my daughter’s first success in raiding.”
jarl haraldson hardly reacted. instead, with one limp gesture of his wrist, he ordered, “very well. knut, fetch the esteemed ragnar his new saxon slave.”
the red soldier glowered at ragnar as he obeyed his brother’s command. æthelstan was cut from the other two monks, whom he appeared to fret greatly about leaving behind, and was led to ragnar by knut - much like a dog on a leash.
“yes, i am overjoyed that this issue has been solved in a timely manner,” the jarl started, apparently trying to get everyone out of his hall as soon as possible, “but, in regards to financing future raids, there is one last endeavor i wish to inquire about.”
the jarl’s guard swooped in and picked up ragnar and crew’s hard-earned riches, filling their own linen sacks with the loot and leading the thralls outside.
“i wish to purchase the vessel on which you have so bravely sailed westward. i understand it to be the handiwork of boatbuilder flóki. and with another ship in my collection, we will be able to bring home even more plunder from the next raid.” announced jarl haraldson.
the crowd cheered.
helga nervously squeezed the hand of her betrothed, but flóki remained unphased, answering, “it is with great remorse, honorable jarl, that i must respectfully decline. for you see, the ship is now in a state of disrepair, and i could not responsibly sell it to you without first attending to the damages.”
the jarl shot a quick glance towards knut.
“it is true, brother.” knut confirmed, the wind seemingly ripped from his sails.
“very well,” the jarl leaned back in his seat, perhaps so that he may view ragnar from an even higher position, “then, boatbuilder, i shall expect you to complete the repairs and return to sea with ragnar loðbrók’s band within the fortnight.”
as the townsfolk and raiders alike began to pour out of the great hall, knut stopped torstein with an unexpectedly gentle pat on the shoulder.
“let us keep in better touch,” the red soldier suddenly had a friendly glint to his eye, “i would hate for our only meetings to be filled with such tension, dear torstein.”
torstein pursed his lips into a half-smile, and simply nodded politely before hurrying away.
gyda beamed with elation at her father, making sure to also giggle at æthelstan’s prolonged state of panic, as the trio set off for home on their little peninsula.
-
björn was waiting outside the house just before supper. the sun had not yet fully set, due to the long daylight hours of nordic summer, though the crickets and fireflies had already started their song and dance.
the footpath from kattegat sprang over the horizon, and from the treeline emerged ragnar and gyda, with æthelstan in tow. björn sprinted over to meet his father halfway, after a few minutes finally colliding into him in a spirited embrace. as soon as the boy pulled away, his sister grabbed him by the neck and took her own turn hugging him, roughly yet affectionately scratching the top of his head.
lagertha emerged from the house, her shining smile dropping faster than the evening sun upon seeing the strange man her husband had brought home.
“come inside, my dear ragnar,” she mustered as the rest of her family creeped closer, “rest, my sweet gyda. there are rye loaves baked fresh for you. i am stewing kid with turnips, too.”
ragnar could sense his wife’s discomfort; he knew he had much to explain. but, he was also eager to tell her that the status quo of their lives was forever altered.
another update with a photo courtesy of lindy-fay hella!!
yesterday was april fool's day, and since my work ethic is a joke, of course i had to resume writing vrp episode 4. apparently, it's just in time for the show to come out on netflix as well!!
the new installment should be finished shortly, so please let me know what tags i should post it under.. i wonder if many new people will be going through the vikings tags
your fingers tapped mindlessly at the plastic countertop, the lightbulbs on your vanity blasting artificial brightness upon your face, as the sun outside became faint. the door to the girls’ makeup room was perpetually open, though you couldn’t bring yourself to look through it.
a feeling was swirling around in the pit of your stomach, brewing almost like a potion boiling in a witch’s cauldron, conjured up by your overactive thoughts. the last time you remembered feeling this way was in your childhood, perhaps when you’d seen one of your own parents cry. it could be called guilt, but the way it penetrated every facet of your gut, made it feel so much more sinister.
it made you feel sinister. you finally realized that you were no longer the protagonist, and had instead been relegated to playing the villain in everyone else’s stories. following your confrontation with lottie and your hostility towards noah, you wondered if there would be any sympathy left for you, from anyone in the villa. having left the back garden earlier than everyone else, you sat alone woefully avoiding the gaze of your own reflection. with your makeup done and your party outfit on, you wished for nothing more than for the night to be over. but for some, it had yet to begin.
priya’s chunky wicker heels sounded off through the hallways, inching closer to you. her monokini was slightly damp and her patterned kimono flowed ethereally from her back. she seemingly thought she’d be alone, as her eyes went wide upon finding you in the dressing room.
priya: oh, (Y/N), sorry. do you need a minute?
although her facial expression gave away that she was eager to leave, you couldn’t bear to leave her alone at the pity party for much longer.
you: priya, wait! i’ve been waiting for a good time to speak to you all day.
priya: really?
she waddled back into the room gingerly, still avoiding getting too close.
you: yeah, i, er... i just wanted to say there’s absolutely no bad blood between us. i still think of you as someone i’d love to be mates with, and i hope everything works out with you and bobby.
you nodded bashfully, as if trying to give your own statement a pat on the back, while priya still seemed unsure of how to respond.
priya: (Y/N)... the past 24 hours have not been easy for me. mostly because of myself, and the fact that i was too embarrassed to look you in the eye after stealing your man. but you saying all that, really means so much, you’ve no idea how much better i feel.
you: aw, babes.
you stood up, pausing only momentarily to adjust your skimpy evening wear, and engulfed priya in a friendly hug. you carried doubts in your head as to whether it was too soon to be on hugging terms with any of the other girls, but you felt a warm rush of endorphins as she eased into the embrace.
you: i didn’t want you to feel bad at all, and i’m sorry it took so long for me to bring this up with you today. i just thought i should leave you and bobby alone, to get as much of a chance to connect as we had.
priya: no, (Y/N), i know i was being silly. you were just so nice to me on that first night, i could hardly live with myself knowing i might’ve upset you. thanks for being so chill though, about everything. people like you are hard to come by.
you: thanks, babes, but i could say the same about you, you know.
priya: i really mean it though. i mean, no wonder bobby is still totally into you.
you pulled away, cocking your head to the side in apparent confusion.
you: you think he is?
priya nodded, smiling encouragingly.
priya: we could talk for hours and joke for longer, but every time there was a lull in the banter, he’d be looking for you. i never said anything cos i kinda hoped that maybe i could change his mind, until he told me that no one’s ever made him feel as nervous as you did. then it hit me: he can be funny with anyone, but he’s looking for someone that makes him want to be serious.
you: so, do you think that’s it for you and him?
priya: as much as i’d like it to be as easy as coming here and finding happily ever after with the first guy i see, i think the writing is on the wall.
you: well, i’m sorry things didn’t work out for you two, but i think it’s so admirable that you’ve enough self respect to not wait on a guy who isn’t into it.
priya: aw, thanks, (Y/N). i guess it’s taken a really long time for me to learn this lesson. but... it feels good!
you: go on, babes! love yourself!
priya: i’ll certainly keep trying. but hey, i should start getting ready. i kinda wanna be done before lottie gets here. i feel like she still hasn’t warmed up to me very much.
you: ugh, it sucks that so much drama is happening between us girls. it seems that the only thing we could agree on in the beginning, was that we wanted to support each other. but we all had such different interpretations of that, it hasn’t done any good in the end.
priya: from her perspective, i can totally understand why she’d be territorial, though. i could’ve stolen her man right from under her - i mean, i wouldn’t have, in any conceivable universe - but that must’ve really gotten to her.
you had to break eye contact, looking to the ground whilst snickering, though trying to maintain a shred of subtlety with a hand covering your mouth.
priya: i’m just glad you took it so well. and i sincerely wish you and bobby all the best.
as your gaze shifted back to priya, she looked much more comfortable in your presence, grinning confidently at her ability to make you laugh. a momentary silence fell over the both of you as you thought through the next sentence you wanted to say, and whether it was worth it to even tell her at all.
you: yeah... thank you... but...
priya: you’re not sure about him anymore?
you: it’s not that i’m not sure anymore... i mean, who’s to say if i was ever sure about him? we hung out for two days, and in the one day we were apart, he wasn’t really in the forefront of my mind. actually, i think i was more worried about my relationship with you.
priya clutched her heart in a display of gratitude.
priya: babes, i’m absolutely touched. but have you spoken to him at all? do you know whether or not he’s planning to pick you?
you: er, i don’t wanna waste too much of your time harping on about this, i suppose it’s really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
priya: (Y/N), it’s a huge deal! i would really hate to see you go home tonight.
you: well, basically, we agreed to check in with each other, to see how we each felt after you’d chosen him. and, while that never happened, i didn’t find myself feeling nervous or anxious about the possibility of him jumping ship. i guess i was just too busy doing my own thing. is that bad to admit?
priya: of course not, babes. it’s so early into the competition, i wouldn’t expect you to have an opinion of him either way.
you: ok good, it’s nice to know i’m not crazy or a psychopath for thinking that way. plus, i’m actually not too worried about being the one sent home. i’ve been getting signals from a few of the other boys.
priya: ooh, well then, since you’re already dressed for tonight, maybe it’d be good to go speak to one of the boys before the recoupling. and don’t worry, i’ll deal with hope if she tries to get on your case.
you: thanks, priya. i’m glad someone else in here understands what i’m feeling, but obviously, neither of us should have to deal with the constant pettiness. i’ve got your back too, so if lottie ever throws any shite your way, just let me know.
without a word, the new alliance was brokered with the two of you tapping your right forearms together, forming a cross. you then turned to scurry downstairs as fast as your impractical club heels could carry you, with priya shouting a few words of encouragement that reverberated through the hallway.
priya: get yours, (Y/N)!
the boys had barely started their evening routine: all convening in the communal bedroom, ironing their dress shirts, and screaming along to throwback hits. you internally thanked whatever architect had designed the villa, as the entrance to the bedroom was totally out of sight from the living room. and just as you were about to walk through the doorway, you heard the audible footsteps and giggles of the other girls going upstairs. you were beginning to rethink the plan, your confidence draining quickly, as you caught a glimpse of the inside of the room and realized that most of the boys were clad only in their underwear. you hid behind the wall again, giving yourself one final internal pep talk before shyly covering your line of sight with one of your hands.
you: bobby, are you in here?
a few of the boys laughed out loud.
gary: oh, come on, (Y/N). you’ve seen it all before!
bobby: she’s a frequent visitor to the gun show, but this is different, it’s like if you saw the mona lisa before it was finished.
bobby’s voice became louder, as you kept your eyes fixated on the ground, and noticed his feet approaching you. the boys chuckled again.
rocco: why not say michelangelo’s david or something, mate?
once bobby was within your orbit, his tone shifted noticeably. he placed his hand gently atop yours, beckoning you to lower it slowly, until his bashful expression was revealed. he wasn’t yet wearing a shirt, although a pair of distressed black jeans hung on his waist, with the calvin klein logo of his boxer briefs peaking out above them. you ended up replaying what priya had said to you earlier. normally, bobby would never pass up an opportunity to quip back at someone to make the room laugh. but he seemed to shake off the boys’ teasing without a second thought.
bobby: i was hoping you’d be down to chat.
he spoke in a near whisper, only intending for his words to be heard by you.
you: i am, i just didn’t know if it should be in here, you know? i don’t mean to invade your privacy.
bobby: no, i totally get it. lemme throw a t-shirt on and we can speak in the living room, yeah?
you nodded decisively, sending a halfhearted wave to the other boys as you turned to leave, your gaze focused on the floor again. bobby was rather quick to finish dressing, as he appeared behind you before you could even sit down on the sofa.
bobby: so, what’s up?
you both plopped down on the cushiony leather, with bobby sitting quite far away, perhaps in an effort not to look too eager.
you: i just thought we should check in once before the recoupling. i know when i suggested it, it probably sounded like i meant to do this more than once, which i did but-
bobby: hey, it’s not a problem at all. you’re single, you’re at risk, you probably had a lot more people to think about than just me.
you: well, i suppose that’s true, but don’t sell yourself short. i was actually quite curious about how things were going between you and priya.
bobby: i mean, you knew how i felt about her choosing me. and i can’t lie, i might’ve let my bias cloud my judgement for a while, but at the end of it all today, i just didn’t feel a romantic connection. she’s well funny though - a great lass overall.
you: yeah, i got that from her too. i spoke to her earlier, just to say “no hard feelings”, since i could tell she was beating herself up about the whole thing.
bobby: oh yeah? she didn’t say anything about expecting us to couple up again, did she?
you: well, i don’t mean to stick my nose into your relationship. maybe that’s something you’d wanna clarify face-to-face, but, essentially she said she’s over it.
bobby: ah... it definitely would be a shame if i made her feel like she never stood a chance. i’ll have to pull her for a quick chat before the recoupling, but she was so sweet and understanding, i’m glad this could be an amicable end.
a blood-curdling scream sounded off from the girls’ dressing room. the frantic footsteps of lottie’s house slippers immediately followed, as she ran to the edge of the second floor catwalk.
lottie: I GOT A TEXT!!
you and bobby stood up from the couch, which was under the balcony. moving to the area near the front door, lottie’s figure became visible, her phone in one hand as the other excitedly clutched the railing. unblended triangles of concealer remained under her eyes.
gary: bloody hell, lozza, i thought that was the fire alarm.
the girls all clambered to stand around lottie, while the boys strolled in relatively unbothered.
islanders, the boys’ choice recoupling will take place in five minutes. girls, please take your places around the firepit.
as gasps and grumbles broke out amongst everyone, lottie turned to hannah in a frenzy.
lottie: hun, do you think i can pull off natural with a bold lip?
hannah: that dark purple in your kit would look stunning with an understated eye!
the groups dissipated as most of the others went back to what they were doing, only at a faster pace. priya and marisol’s shoes clacked against the metal stairs, signifying that they were the only other girls who were ready to go. you turned your attention back to bobby just to end out the conversation.
you: i guess i’ll see you out there.
bobby: i’ll certainly be looking for you.
you looked by the door to see priya and marisol seemingly waiting for you there. bobby gave priya a little nod of acknowledgement.
priya: you alright, babes?
bobby: i’m doing good, don’t worry about me. listen, we’re ok though, right? i mean, i think you’re incredible and i’d be so happy to be friends.
priya: of course we are! no saltiness from me, and, i think we’d get on well as friends too.
priya nodded resolutely, seemingly denoting she was finished with their exchange. and once you got close enough, she squealed quietly, taking the opportunity to link arms with you and walk out the door together, marisol in tow.
priya: i don’t know why i’m so excited, but i have a good feeling about tonight, girls.
marisol: me too, oddly enough. i can’t tell who’d pick me, but i’ve put in enough hours to feel confident that someone will.
priya: yes, marisol! that’s the idea! and (Y/N), did you get a chance to chat to noah?
you: er, yeah, i spoke to him a few hours ago. why?
priya: you didn’t go talk to him when you left the dressing room earlier?
you: oh, no, i was with bobby.
priya: babes… take a page from marisol’s book; this is a competition, you’ve gotta put in some work to get what you want.
if you weren’t wearing full coverage foundation, your face would’ve turned red as a beet.
you: the thing about that is… you’re right, i totally would’ve. but, our chat in the garden this afternoon did not go according to plan. he, er, made it very clear he wasn’t interested.
the other two’s expressions both softened, reaching out to rub your shoulders whilst murmuring consoling sweet nothings.
marisol: don’t get me wrong - i understand that people can change - but having seen the two of you together on the first day, i don’t buy that for a second.
priya: this does have hope written all over it, but don’t be too sad, babes. rocco and gary are both totally into you. one of them will pick you, a hundred percent.
marisol: gary?
marisol uttered his name so softly, she sounded almost disheartened.
you: we’ve been having some quick chats over the past few days. but, apparently, he’s also getting on well with hannah - and you. i wouldn’t know who he’d go for, honestly.
marisol: well, what do you two usually talk about in these “quick chats”?
you: he’s pretty flirty sometimes, but he’s a bit of a cheeky chappy. i’d bet he’s just naturally like that with everyone.
priya: but did he ever mention wanting to couple up with you?
you: we’ve only talked about the recoupling once. this morning, he asked if i’d mind coupling up with him, and i said i wouldn’t. but that was before he spoke with you, marisol, so i can’t tell where his head is at now.
priya: i mean - and forgive me, marisol, if i’m speaking out of turn - but it seems like he was saying he wanted to couple up with you.
marisol: it seems that way to me, too.
priya and marisol exchanged glances. your eyes flickered between the both of their faces at lightspeed, at this point only trying to determine whether or not they were angry at you.
priya: and what did bobby say when you spoke to him?
you: i just sat him down and apologized for not checking in like i said i would. he said it was fine, and then we had a little check-in about how he felt about you, priya. that’s pretty much all that happened before everyone else showed up.
priya: right, but did you tell him how you felt about him?
your eyes began racing all across the floor and even to the horizon. what priya said suddenly seemed so obvious, but you had no explanation as to why it didn’t occur to you at the time. you found your lips opening and shutting by their own accord, as if to try and stutter out an excuse, though your brain gave them no words to speak with.
you: he mentioned something about me being single, and he said i had more to worry about than just him, which i agreed with. he’s always understood that noah was my first choice. him saying all that means he understands, right?
you beamed at priya and marisol both with anxious doe eyes. the heat of the mallorcan air became no match for the nauseating, hot dread you felt bubbling up inside you.
priya: it might’ve done… but i don’t think you made yourself clear enough, babes.
marisol: priya’s right, (Y/N). you might’ve put too many eggs in too many baskets without knowing.
you grunted in frustration.
you: i did know, though. in the moment, when i was chatting to each of the boys, i probably thought i was being so smart and strategic. but i guess retracting eggs from baskets was too awkward, that’s why i couldn’t do it. it would’ve been so easy just to tear the bandage off, but i left it for the last possible second. i always do that. and now it’s too late.
you threw your head in your hands, quickly becoming thankful there was no product in your hair, as you ended up ruining whatever semblance of a hairstyle you had. marisol grabbed your elbows and pulled your arms down slowly; not at all the reaction you expected her to have.
marisol: chill out, babes. at the end of the day, each boy only gets one pick. if we’re both lucky, someone will pick you, and someone else will pick me. i’ll just be glad if we all make it through the night together.
you: so you’re not mad that i didn’t tell you about gary?
marisol: not in the slightest! and who’s to say i wouldn’t have grafted on him even if you had?
just then, you heard the villa doors open, and a herd of footsteps began approaching the firepit. you, marisol, and priya were already most of the way there, but ended your brief powwow as priya reached both of her arms out from the middle of the three of you. she embraced you and marisol on either side of her, for just long enough for you to give in and wrap your arms around her too, although marisol was clearly too flustered to reciprocate.
lottie: doing this whole ordeal without cheers’ing first is such bad vibes.
the others had finally caught up, with the boys taking their seats around the fire, leaving the girls to group around where you stood for one final council meeting.
hannah: my mantra for tonight is que será, será.
marisol: as cheesy of a reference as that is, it’s not a bad motto in a situation like this. whatever will be, will be.
hannah: how is musical theatre cheesy? i at least thought you guys would appreciate a switch up from the jane austen references.
marisol: hannah, the guy who wrote that musical went on to write self insert fanfiction about alexander hamilton.
hope: as much as i would love to debate this further, this is it, girls. assuming you’ve all played the game to the best of your abilities, this is the moment of truth.
marisol: right. i should asterisk; whatever will be, will be… only after you’ve done everything in your power to forge the most ideal outcome realistically possible.
lottie: but sometimes the universe doesn’t bend to your will. most times, actually. i think that’s what hannah was getting at, and there’s no shame in drawing the shortest lot.
a cellphone beeped.
bobby: I GOT A TEXT
islanders, the boys’ choice recoupling is about to start. girls, please all stand in front of the firepit. noah will choose first.
hope waggled her eyebrows and smirked cheekily, almost skipping her way to the firepit. bobby sat down as noah stood, the two of them on opposite ends of the bench. you stood in between marisol and hannah. you could feel lottie’s glare even from behind her meat shield, as her pep talk seemingly didn’t affect the other girls in the way that she’d hoped.
noah: i would like to couple up with this girl… no, this woman… because she’s special. in the short time that we’ve known each other, she’s made me feel as though i’m finally ready to embrace a mature, adult relationship. she knows what she wants and she goes for it - and now it’s time for me to try to do the same. if i should have anything in this world, it should be hope.
in your periphery, you noticed hope’s hands fly up. they covered her mouth as she gasped silently.
noah: so the girl… that i would like to couple up with… is… hope.
the other islanders responded mostly with polite claps, although a few of the boys whooped and cheered. hope ran to noah and they collided in the center of the open space, her arms flinging themselves around his neck as she grabbed his face. but even if it seemed like the perfect moment for a passionate snog, she apparently only allowed herself a modest peck of his cheek.
another phone sounded off, and as each of the boys scrambled to check their pockets, rocco stood up.
rocco: so, i didn’t wanna think too hard about my speech because i’ve always thought that romance should be spontaneous. but clearly, i don’t know that much about romance, seeing as i thought “love languages” were actually different languages that people have with their partners. although, i do know there’s something about this girl, cos i keep feeling myself drawn to her - like a moth to a flame.
you felt marisol nudge your side, and without even looking at her expression for too long, you could tell you were thinking the same thing. so you simply shrugged, as even rocco didn’t seem to know who he would pick when you spoke to him earlier in the day.
rocco: and fire - sparks - are as spontaneous as it gets, right? so the girl… that i would like to couple up with… is… lottie.
lottie threw her arms up in the air, seemingly cheering for herself almost like a cheerleader. she walked over to join rocco with far less conviction than hope, but still kissed him on the cheek.
lottie: loved the flame analogy, babe, hated the bit about moths though.
rocco: some moths can be cute. plus, they’re disciples of the moon, just like you.
another phone beeped. ibrahim stood up.
ibrahim: the past few days have been an absolute whirlwind for me. i’m usually worried about what kind of first impression i make, but i’ve never experienced that feeling times a thousand before. that’s what it was like, coming here. but the first time i chatted to this girl, it all melted away, and she forced me to actually have fun just being in the present moment.
marisol tensed up beside you, breathing in a long breath and holding it in her chest.
ibrahim: so the girl… that i would like to couple up with… is… priya.
for the first time all night, you were utterly shocked by the decision. you instinctively put an arm around marisol’s shoulders, feeling her back still tight and her hands stiff at her sides. priya ran over to ibrahim eagerly, pausing only slightly before him, so as to invoke a quite cordial hug. on the way to her seat, she looked over her shoulder and sent marisol a sympathetic glance. marisol finally loosened up, gesturing with her hands as if to say it was no big deal, but the sigh she let out as the next boy stood was telling.
bobby: i would like to couple up with this girl because she’s… amazing.
upon hearing bobby’s voice, you removed your arms from marisol and perked your head up, not even realizing that only marisol and hannah were left on either side of you.
bobby: i can’t even think of any better words to describe her with, cos every facet of her that i’ve seen so far, has just been good. and right. she makes me feel right, like i’m finally doing what i’m supposed to be doing, when i talk to her. and so the girl… that i would like to couple up with… is (Y/N).
you put on the biggest smile you could muster, not surprised but truthfully, not satisfied either. you reached down and took marisol and hannah’s hands in both of your own, giving them a friendly squeeze before jogging over to join bobby. it felt a bit boastful to be the only couple thus far to kiss on the lips, though it was where you and he left off. and you were happy to put your mind on autopilot for the cursory spectacle, as long as it allowed you to not think about everyone’s attention being squarely on you.
gary stood up, twiddling his thumbs. he didn’t seem like the type to get nervous easily, but as he shoved his hands sheepishly into his back pockets, you got the sense that he really respected the gravity his decision held.
gary: well, blimey, i would’ve thought i’d had tonight all planned out.
he allowed himself a breath, dropping his head slightly. but, seeing as bobby was sat directly next to him, gary’s side-eye was blatant from your position.
gary: but, i suppose things are always changing in here. that’s the one thing i dunno if i’ll ever get used to. although you lot - all of you - have really helped me adjust. you two girls are genuinely lovely, and i’m gutted to think that one of you won’t be here tomorrow.
you managed to meet hannah’s gaze for merely a split second, but mouthed to her rather exaggeratedly, que será, será.
gary: but, there’s one girl who i’ve just got on slightly better with. i had a well good time chatting to her today, and obviously, i’m more than willing to explore that connection more. so the girl… that i would like to couple up with… is… marisol.
hannah and marisol’s hands were firmly joined, though hannah’s other hand was clenched into a fist and held shakily above her heart. her head bobbed for a few moments, as she tried to keep it from falling down completely. marisol gave hannah’s back a couple of half-hearted pats before going to join gary. the new couple hugged each other daintily, then sat on the bench with everyone else, though the guilt on their faces was more palpable.
the echo of a cellphone ringtone hung in the air - like a pungent stench - with everyone keeping totally still and quiet, too stunned to break the heavy silence. hannah looked at her phone.
hannah, you have been left single and are therefore dumped from the island. say goodbye to your fellow islanders and get ready to leave immediately.
bobby reached over and grabbed your hand, placing it in his own lap with a gentle squeeze. perhaps he saw the melancholy with which you raised your eyebrows, feeling genuinely bad for hannah in that moment. the group collectively sat in shock as hannah stood before everyone - alone.
no one quite knew what to do from there, but lottie burst through the awkward atmosphere when she sped from her seat over to hug hannah.
lottie: i can’t believe this, babes. i’m gonna miss you so much!
hannah: i’ll miss you too, lottie.
the two girls parted after an unexpectedly short hug, during which time a single teardrop rolled down lottie’s cheek. lottie positioned herself by hannah’s side, facing the rest of the group while maintaining a gentle hand on the back of her friend’s head.
hannah: i’ll miss all the rest of you too. everyone here has made this experience so unforgettable for me. and i’ve no problem going home so the rest of you can find love… honestly i think i’ve already found it.
you couldn’t help but well up yourself as hannah attempted to laugh through her own waterworks. everyone got up from the bench and took their turn hugging her. deep in your cynical mind, you did foresee this happening, but something about the weight of the moment made everything feel like slow-motion.
hannah: (Y/N)!
when you finally came to the front of the queue, hannah threw her arms around you. the shock on your face may have been evident, but you couldn’t stop yourself from easing into her embrace.
hannah: i’ve grown to really respect you, babes.
you: aw, hannah, i’m touched. i really respect you as well, and i’m sorry if it seemed that i was a bit insensitive toward you. i admire your optimism and i hope you never change.
hannah let go, dabbing the tears away from her eyes, so as not to disrupt the makeup underneath. you chuckled silently at the gesture, though she then looked you directly in the eye and her demeanor became several notches more serious.
hannah: (Y/N), that’s really sweet of you to say. but this experience has taught me so much - i’d be foolish to not work on myself with this new knowledge.
her sincerity made her imminent departure all the more surreal. you swallowed with your heart feeling heavy.
you: i respect that too. i think we would’ve been great friends with enough time.
hannah: of course.
she swiftly moved on to hugging rocco, with lottie at her side seemingly supervising. you exited the hub of people that were still gathered around hannah, the evening breeze suddenly making the hair on your body stand up. you gripped at your own forearms, looking up to see bobby waiting for you.
bobby: you ok?
you: yeah, it just doesn’t feel real.
you both stood a bracing distance away from each other. the look on bobby’s face revealed that he perhaps wanted to comfort you, but something was stopping him.
lottie: we’re going upstairs to pack. we’ll meet everyone at the door in a few!
lottie called out and disappeared into the villa with hannah. the rest of the islanders were left milling about outside, anxious and unsure of how to pass the time. you almost thought of something to say to bobby, but marisol and priya strode into your line of sight.
priya: how are you feeling, hun?
your eyes lingered on marisol, although you were too shy to look right at her face.
you: i’m fine. could be better, but couldn’t we all…
your head instantly turned to check if bobby was still nearby, and with a silent sigh of relief you found that he wasn’t.
you: obviously i’m thankful that we’re all safe though.
marisol: i am too. i’m gutted for hannah, but at least she seemed to know it was coming.
you: how are you feeling about your couple?
marisol: look, babes, there are no hard feelings from me to you. i never really got romance vibes from gary before, so i’m not surprised that i wasn’t his first choice. i guess we’ll just have to see how things go from here. the game carries on.
you: a great outlook, as always. i’m so glad you’re not mad either. let’s all just chill out and try to have a good time from now on.
priya: that’s what i’m saying, (Y/N)! i’ll try and find the best alcohol they’ve got around here for when we toast.
priya and marisol peeled off to head for the kitchen pantry. hope and noah were loved up on the beanbags; a sight from which you averted your eyes as soon as you spotted, to avoid any awkward incidents with noah. but bobby and the rest of the boys were nowhere to be found, and naturally your curiosity led you to look for them inside.
as you set foot in the living room, you heard agitated voices coming from the bathroom, and immediately regretted snooping.
gary: i’m deadly serious!
you twiddled your thumbs nervously as you tiptoed closer to the source of the noise.
bobby: i understand that mate. but you never said anything about it until right this second.
you poked your head through the doorway, just enough to find ibrahim standing by gary’s side and bobby alone at the other end of the room.
gary: bruv, everyone knew i liked her. the least you could’ve done was ask me beforehand.
bobby: i’ve been kinda busy with priya lately. how was i meant to know you liked (Y/N) if you never told me directly?
gary: i didn’t know i needed your permission to chat to her.
bobby: no one “needs my permission”, but it would’ve been smart to let me know. although, i can’t lie, it wouldn’t have affected my decision.
gary: oh, come off it mate. what would you know about being smart? you chose (Y/N) even though you ignored her all day and she has no interest in you anymore!
the two of them inched increasingly closer to one another, with bobby stiffening his shoulders and donning a confrontational stance.
gary: go on, throw hands. being a tough guy is surely the best way to save your dying couple.
bobby made a sudden start towards gary - seemingly just to get in his face, as his hands were still at his sides. ibrahim acted with lightning fast reflexes to hold gary back, while you ran in and grabbed bobby by both of his arms.
you: jesus, you two! get it together!
gary stopped struggling against ibrahim and his eyes went wide upon seeing you.
gary: (Y/N)? how much did you see?
you: enough to know that this is not an argument worth having. we all know the rules of the game, and we all know it’s just a game.
with your grip still firmly on bobby, you spun him around to meet your gaze.
you: what were you thinking?
the look on your face must’ve spoken volumes to bobby, as his own expression softened, and it seemed he’d shown you a side of himself that even he rarely saw.
lottie: well what do we have here?
lottie was holding hannah by the hand, and in hannah’s other hand she held her toiletries bag. lottie had steered hannah into the bathroom, and although the latter was clearly flustered, the former appeared all too intrigued to flee from the scene. you let go of bobby and straightened yourself out.
ibrahim: leave it out, lottie. certain issues don’t involve everyone.
the rest of you were visibly awestruck.
you: we were just discussing the recoupling. everything’s under control.
lottie’s brow was furrowed as her jaw twitched. you could tell she was trying to keep her mouth from hanging open.
lottie: hannah needs a moment to gather her things. surely we can put our differences aside for a few minutes and give her a nice farewell.
you turned your attention back to the space between gary and bobby.
you: all of this seemed like a big misunderstanding. if we don’t wanna step on each other’s toes, we just need to communicate more effectively next time.
the boys each quietly nodded to one another before lottie stepped aside, allowing all of you to funnel out of the bathroom. shuffling past her and hannah, you were greeted by marisol, who stood just beyond the commotion. her expression was concerned, leading you to believe she’d heard about as much as the other girls had.
you: marisol…
marisol: i was going to help hannah pack her luggage, but i guess there are already too many cooks in the kitchen.
ibrahim: alright, girls?
the other boys had wandered off, but ibrahim approached the two of you, his body language still calm as ever although he rubbed his hands together with apparent remorse.
ibrahim: listen, i’m sorry about what happened back there. those guys are pretty good mates, so i genuinely didn’t expect that from them. but, us boys haven’t really been talking strategy together, so i’m gonna make sure we work on that.
you: don’t be sorry, rahim. we’ve all had a long day.
ibrahim: i am though. and marisol, i’m sorry to you too. i know we had our little spat earlier, but my decision was genuinely nothing personal, and i hope we can stay friends.
marisol: i’m not salty, rahim. don’t worry. but i will take you up on that offer to stay friends.
ibrahim backed away from the conversation with a lopsided smile; perhaps the most emotion you’d seen him show thus far.
marisol: the night is barely half over and it’s already been the most exhausting of my life.
you: babes, i’m so sorry if those idiots made you feel bad about yourself.
marisol: why is everyone sorry? this is what we all signed up for, and i can handle it. i’m a big girl.
you: i don’t doubt that, but it can’t be easy being in your position. i’m here for you if you ever need my help.
marisol: i mean… you’ve already helped slightly by making gary show his true colors. i was thinking i ought to give him a shot before, but i dunno now that i’ve seen this… impetuous and… cantankerous side of him.
you giggled.
you: i rate that for sure. but maybe don’t write him off straight away. now that the eliminations are such a real possibility, i’m more scared than ever of losing you.
marisol: aw, babes.
she pulled you in gently for a hug; less overt with physical touch than some of the other islanders, but her affection felt more earnest as a result.
marisol: i hope you know i’m gonna be very hard to get rid of, though.
the both of you shared a laugh as lottie and hannah emerged from the bathroom. within a few moments, hannah was wheeling her suitcase out the front door, with everyone gathered around the yard to see her off.
hannah: you lot are all so special, and so lovely. you all deserve the best! i’ll never forget any of you!
overcome with emotion, she flung herself at you for one last hug, to which you happily reciprocated.
you: take care of yourself, babes. you’re one in a million and someone’s gonna fall in love with that.
hannah: aw, (Y/N), you’re such a kind soul. thanks for everything.
she worked down the line, hugging everyone goodbye until a car pulled up in the nearby dirt road. as the rest of you waved and cheered, hannah pulled her suitcase confidently whilst strutting down the path through the front yard.
you noticed that lottie stayed behind a bit longer than most everyone else, looking into the emptiness of the dark night with her hands clasped above her heart.
priya: still in the mood to chill out and have fun?
priya shoved a wine glass in your hand as soon as you reentered the villa. the rosé she found was cold from the fridge and smelled refreshingly sweet, although your fellow islanders seemingly weren’t up for drinking very much of it. hope led a rather somber toast and you spent the rest of the evening with priya and marisol. the three of you were left alone on the sun loungers when you finally realized that everyone else had gone to bed.
as you put on your pajamas and hurried through your bedtime routine, the thought of bobby briefly crossed your mind. though even in your own thoughts, the reminder of the game was met with an internal groan. you had no energy left to use on worrying about boys or love or girl drama.
however, the worry faded from your mind as you found yourself stopping in your tracks, in awe of the serenity of bobby as he slept on his side. you leaned over to see his face, which was squished against the pillow and his cheeks were adorably puffy.
you lifted the blanket slowly and attempted to get into the bed without waking him. your back facing bobby’s back, you realized that you’d chosen to sleep on the side which looked directly at hope and noah’s bed. and just as you feared, noah rolled over in his apparent slumber, his eyes closed but mere inches from yours. you tried your best to doze off, but to no avail.
noah: hey.
of course noah had to speak to you. he always had a way of finding you right when you wished he wouldn’t.
you: go to sleep.
you didn’t mean to hiss at him, although it was hard to control your tone while whispering.
noah: if you really don’t wanna talk, i will. but i don’t feel right sleeping on an argument.
you: you weren’t in that argument.
noah: i meant our argument. i feel horrible knowing i might’ve hurt your feelings.
you opened your eyes and placed a hand under your cheek for support, leaning more intently into your exchange, and noticing that noah had already adopted the same position.
you: you didn’t hurt my feelings, you just annoyed the ever-loving shite out of me.
noah let out a breathy chuckle.
noah: well regardless, i apologize for doing so.
your lungs, half asleep, demanded a deep and prolonged sigh.
you: why is everyone sorry?
noah: i can’t speak for anyone else, but i’m really trying to take my relationships seriously while i’m here. and that includes with you.
you: i appreciate you saying that… but sometimes i just wish that if someone decides to shoot me down, they can at least do it with enough pride to not apologize for it afterwards. it’s not easy to look someone in the eye and reject them. sometimes i think it might be easier to swallow if you know they’re not sorry about it.
noah: i’m only apologizing cos i don’t want you to think you’re not important to me.
your brain needed silence to fully absorb his words.
noah: we can chat more tomorrow. you’re stuck with me for quite a while, and that’s something i’m not sorry about.
noah flipped over onto his other side and left you alone with your thoughts once more. although, in that moment, you felt another presence pawing at your waist. bobby was also seemingly sleeping soundly, and probably just absentmindedly cuddling you as though you were his doll. so you let him wrap his arms around you.
bobby: mmm…
you closed your eyes again and wished fervently to fall asleep.
bobby: are we all good?
you: you really scared me tonight, bobby. we’re fine now but i don’t want you to let that happen again.
bobby: i totally get it, and i’m sorry.
he waited a few beats before groggily posing another question.
bobby: you were scared that gaz would rough me up?
you: no, bobby. i was scared that you’d let yourself become a mindless brute. i’m not a girl that likes it when guys fight. i was scared that maybe you weren’t who i thought you were, and i didn’t wanna jump ship.
you heard him hum again, perhaps in contentment, before he brushed some of your hair off of your neck. the last thing you felt before finally drifting off to sleep was bobby hovering over you, kissing the exposed skin on your temple, your ear, and then the nape of your neck.
now that the first dumping had officially come and gone, you were indeed stuck with everyone - and for who knows how long.
