Let me tell you guys a little story:
A couple months before posting this now, I had an artistic crisis. I was trying to draw something, but the thought of how I couldn't build an audience on any of the platforms that I posted art to really hit me hard. I was actually emotionally unable to bring myself to draw––utterly demolished. I actually cried about it. For me, I have never actually gotten art block before, and this was the real thing, hitting me full-force for the first time.
Two months pass, and I'm back in school for the fall.
My ex, Lorena (we get along great, but it's very complicated as of writing this), sees that I'm just really out of sorts. Honestly, I was depressed. Despite this, Lorena proposes a challenge to me: to finish a commission for a friend that I had accepted month or so prior, all in two weeks. I accepted, but I was really out of practice. I warmed up fairly slowly with some transformative work that tested my skill of decomposing drawings I made down to the simplest form. It was tough to say the least, but fun. When planning is put into action, this challenge would have been a cinch. I am a habitual procrastinator––take a guess. The deadline was on Monday, September 24th, 2018, and I was only a third of the way done with the commission––I still needed to ink the two characters and color them.
That said, the consequence of not meeting Lorena's deadline was that I had to burn a drawing that she made two weeks prior to that Monday. She doesn't draw often and I love it when she does.. So this really hit me hard, and put my procrastination into perspective for the umpteenth time. This realization really sank in, though. My lack of planning actually hurt someone. I made Lorena cry. I really felt like shit; I sulked for ten minutes. I would have sulked longer if Lorena didn't try to talk to me after she composed herself. To my surprise, she forgave me to an extent the same night, and I was back on my feet with some caring words from her. Since then, Lorena and her constant support have been driving me to better myself. If I can't help myself, how can I help anyone else?
This picture symbolizes a true artistic revival––nothing compared to posting hiatuses for months on end. Pure revival of passion and perseverance, and I'm striving for a change this time.
2087
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