Dr. Carson

"No. I'm not that kind of doctor." ❌Harlan Carson ❌38 ❌Married ❌Brother ❌Doctor.

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“That’s fair. Bites and bleeding out just seem like awful ways to go. Slow and painful.” She’d always wanted to die in her sleep, back when things were normal and that was much more likely to happen. Now, she just hoped to avoid it for as long as possible, and wanted to go fast when it happened. “I suppose so. Hopefully no one gets us confused, because I’m definitely not qualified to treat any medical conditions. Unless a wrench, customer service smile, or a cocktail can help them, I’m pretty much useless.”

“I think if I got bit, I’d just take a bullet to the head,” Harlan admitted honestly. Not that he thought he would be able to do so himself. Bite or not, he was terrified of dying. Even if it meant escaping a shitty world like this one. “You’d be surprised how far a nice smile can get you. It can instantly calm a troubled patient.”

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         “ Yeah, that’s the thing know, contingencies, not to mention lot of mouths to feed. A world needs order and structure. Farming, now that’s the basis of everything. Hell, you might have to look up chemistry doc, we’re gonna need shots and vaccines, never gonna be close to what we had, but we got to try.”

“Chemistry?” Harlan repeated. “Sorry to say your precious leader killed the only man who could have hoped to do make vaccines,” he pointed out. “I was an OBGYN. I’m lucky if I can do half of the shit they have me working on here.”

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The girl nodded softly, walking into his office and pulling herself up on his examination table. She held the bottle out to him “Want to do the honors?” she asked with a warm smile.

Harlan took the bottle to pop it open with ease, pouring them each a healthy glass before he set the bottle on the desk. Grabbing both cups and handing her one. “Here’s to... Uh, you can do the cheers,” he told her before he took a sip.

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“it’s fine, carson. i’m fine.” frankie replied as she walked towards carson, looking outside at all the walkers. she sighed. she felt badly for the people who’d died only to be used as protection once they turned into walkers. “wonder if they did something to make them be used for our protection. or if they were just grabbed for the hell of it.” she spoke her mind, more to herself than to carson. “you want a smoke?” she asked as she pulled the pack out of her bra.

“Knowing Negan, they probably did very little to deserve such a punishment,” Harlan claimed quietly. His eyes darted over towards the young wife to eye the pack of cigarettes. He knew they were bad for him -- hell, he used to preach that. But, lately, bad decisions were the only decisions he’d made. “Yeah. I’d love one. Thank you.”

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“They will be fine for now. They are not the ones injured because of Negan or looking like they are about to make a reckless decision.” he pointed out as he shifted. It was clear his presence made Harlan uncomfortable and that ached in his heart seeing that. “About…what happened in the office, I’m sorry.”

Harlan nodded his head. He was glad the man’s boys were safe, no matter how confused he was about saviors and Fenris in general. The apology threw him off guard for a moment and he looked up at the man. “You are?”

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She smiled slowly and nodded “I think I can manage that” she replied and turned on her heel, heading back towards the building. She snagged a bottle of wine as they made their way through the kitchen area and followed behind him to his office.

Harlan moved to follow alongside her, not batting an eye when she snatched up a bottle of wine. Once they were close enough, he removed the key and took to opening his office door to let them in. Flipping on the lights. “You can sit anywhere,” he offered her while he grabbed two glasses.

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“you don’t have to believe me, dr. carson. you know i’m not lying. because i have no reason to lie to you.” he was maggie’s doctor, for crying out loud. he saved one of sasha’s closest friends. she wouldn’t be going behind his back and betraying him. he was fragile. she could see that. “i’m okay with talking to them because i’m used to assholes. i’ve run into quite a few over the years.”more than a few. rick’s group had the tendency to run into bad people, and the saviors were some of them. she nods, “yeah, i’ll kill them. even if you can’t fight, we need you. you don’t have to help by fighting or by killing. people are going to get injured. people will die. all you have to do is tend to them, dr. carson. that’s all we’ll ever ask of you. you’ll be safe with us.” she heard all of the groups were merged together in alexandria, which would leave doctor carson even safer than he had started out at the hilltop. nothing bad was going to happen to him with all the good groups around. having a better world, a world without the saviors, was worth fighting for. he needed to be around for that. she could tell how deeply he was hurt by all of this, even before tears came to his eyes. she felt the same way, but kept a front, so she could survive in the sanctuary. “i’m gonna get out of here. it might seem like a stupid idea, i know. but i have to. and if i get out of here without you, harlan, i’ll come back for you. i will. neither of us belong here. your brother didn’t belong here. he probably wouldn’t want you staying here, knowing how dangerous it is.”

“We’re going to die if we try to leave if you try to take me and I can’t even defend myself. That’s a fact,” Harlan claimed surely. His arms folded across his chest as he listened to her go home. Not believing her words for even a second. Because she wouldn’t make it out of here. Over the months he’d been with the Saviors, he’d seen many try to escape and they always either came back by choice or were dragged back. With injuries and even more problems than they had when here in the first place.

“Whatever you say,” he said quietly. 

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Her lips quirked slightly at one corner hearing his answer and gave him a soft nod. Her eyes shifting from him back to the rotters, clawing away at the gate, hoping to break in. She looked back at him, “Do..Do you wanna go somewhere else?” she asked with a small shrug. “I’m sure they aren’t great company.” she exhaled a soft laugh before motioning back towards the building. “Maybe I can get you a drink or something?”

Harlan almost said no, but when she offered him a drink, he couldn’t really resist. “Yeah, I’d love a drink, actually,” he admitted. “As long as we can drink it in my office. I’m not interested in sitting in that mess hall of theirs.”

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Harlow didn’t pretend to understand the Saviors, but from what she’d witnessed most of them were ruthless. She wasn’t about to generalize everyone that was in the Sanctuary, though, because Harlan didn’t seem to be anything like the others. Of course, she didn’t know that he was forced to be there. “Well, take it as you will. I’ve said what I wanted to, how you take it is your choice.” she yielded because it was fairly apparent that he wasn’t going to change his mind for whatever reason. It almost made it easier for her, actually. “I would’ve been pissed if I made it this far just to die by a glorified bear trap.” She smiled. Because, while her leg hurt and made her feel useless, she was alive.

“Harlan.” Harlow put extra emphasis on the end of his name, because she was surprised by how close their names were. She assumed that, because he said Harlan first, that it was what he preferred to be called. “I’m Harlow.”

“I think people have died from worse than bear traps. Falling off ledges and bridges, getting an infection from a nail through the toe...” he listed. He wouldn’t want to go out by any of those, if he had to die, he at least wanted it to mean something, not because of a mistake on his own behalf. “Similar, aren’t they?”

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He was the first person she met that hadn’t brought up her ex-husband, so she decided to keep quiet after his question. “I think I’m okay,” she admitted, taking a couple steps towards the wall to eye what the male had talked about.

“They really keep them there? For protection?” After eyeing the outskirts of the sanctuary, the brunette turned to face the other. By now, everyone should have been an expert on how to kill a walker. Why did they think that a wall of them would help?

Harlan turned to get a look at the walker. “They do, apparently. They give them some protection, too. It’s sick. See the helmets on their head?” He said with a point towards the closest one to them. It was hard to see at this distance, but the silver of the helm shined in the daylight. 

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He eyed him as he continued making all of those accusations, waiting for him to stop being putting in his input. “I don’t expect any of that from you. If you didn’t want anything to go further, then fine, I won’t pursue it.”

Harlan pursed his lips at the words, his eyes darting away from the man. “That... would be best,” he claimed softly, not even able to look at him. Not liking how seeing the man with such a look made Harlan feel... weird in the stomach and chest. “Shouldn’t you be with your kids?”

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“I will do what is necessary for them, not for Negan or the Saviors.” Fenris almost growled in response. “You only started to become hostile and have a problem towards me when I initiated something.” 

“Well, then you shouldn’t have initiated anything, should you have?” Harlan claimed angrily. “What am I supposed to do? Kiss you back? Fall in love? Raise little saviors for Negan’s army?” he questioned. “Not before being a step-mother to the kids you already have, of course.”

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Harlow balanced on her good leg, trying to relieve pressure on her arms while she was standing still. Her recovery hadn’t gone flawlessly, but she didn’t blame Carson for that. The injury had damaged her leg enough that no one could’ve done any better. The damage was done, and there was no coming back from it. She appreciated what he had been able to do for her.

“I get that, but you weren’t obligated to help me.” She wasn’t a part of what she thought was his group. She was a stranger that he owed nothing to. Harlow didn’t quite understand the Saviors, or the reason Carson reacted the way he had. “I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it. Regardless. I felt,” she sighed. “guilty for not saying it before.” she admitted, though her pride made it difficult to admit that she had needed help. “Um. I’m Harlow, by the way.”

Harlan tried not to put too much into her words. It would have been easier had every savior been as ruthless and cold as Simon or as much of an asshole as Negan was. But, no, some of them were decent. Some of them, he would have maybe talked to aside from the apocalypse. And, that’s what made this hardest for him.

“You shouldn’t. I told you, I was doing my job. Whether I was obligated to you or not,” he claimed. “Harlan. Or, Carson.”

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She noticed his stand-offish nature and almost just turned around there, not being one for conflict. She placed her weight on her back foot then paused as he replied, nodding softly and offering him a small smile as she understood. “I get it” she replied, of course she got it. That’s exactly what she was doing out here as well.

The girl examined his face, it was obvious he was tired and she didn’t blame him. Being the only doctor around, although she’d had very limited nursing schooling before the outbreak it never seemed to come in handy besides minor scrapes and bumps. She bit down on her lower lip and hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should just leave him be but decided to at least ask if he’d want company rather than being rude and assuming one way or the other.

“Want some time alone?” she asked hooking her fingers around her opposite elbow “Or if you’d rather have company… I can stay?” she shrugged softly.

Harlan nodded his head when she admitted to getting it. He figured that even saviors had to need to take a moment away. Maybe the factory wasn’t suffocating to them, but there were a lot of people and he could only imagine how overwhelming it could be for people who didn’t spend all their time in the office like he did.

“What?” he snapped back to the conversation, giving her a look. “I --” he paused. He didn’t want to seem like he was suddenly okay with this. But, he couldn’t deny that lately, he’d been lonelier than his sanity was willing to give. “I suppose... a little company wouldn’t be too bad.”

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“We’ve been over this, Harlan.” Fenris muttered sharply as he slowly stepped forward, but still giving the man a bit of distance between them. “I am not one of them. My primary concerns are my family. I didn’t join them and I could care less about this damn war.” His words were stern and his gaze towards Harlan was cold. “Yet you did not push me away.”

“You are, though. You live here, you work for them. You’ll be going on runs before you know it and even if you don’t care about the war going on if your sons are in trouble, you would put kill for Negan,” he pointed out. His arms folded over his chest and he pursed his lips. “I wasn’t aware that was an invitation.”

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Fenris let out a fairly annoyed sigh and shifted, moving to fold his arms across his chest. “And I told you before that I cannot do that. You have yet to give me a good reason why.”

“Well, let’s think about that for a minute, shall we?” Harlan suggested. “You’re a Savior, whether you think you are or not, you are. Anytime you’re visiting me, you’re always so damn close. I have no space. I can’t wave my arms around because they’ll collide with you. And, you decided that kissing me was the best reaction to me telling you to leave me the fuck alone.”

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Fenris followed Harlan, having intending to meet up with him at his home if that was where he was intending. However, when Harlan kept walking towards the wall, it raised his curiosity. Was he thinking about leaving? This could be valuable to him if he was. Fenris could use that when he decided to gather his boys and leave.

When he stepped closer to him, his boot hit the gravel and made a noise that ultimately startled the young doctor. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I was just going to see you.”

Harlan paused at the sight of the man in front of him. He’d come to hate seeing the other. There was no malice in it, not truly, anyway. Fenris threw him off guard. He invaded his personal space, he did what he could to make Harlan believe he cared. 

He took a step back to distance himself from the man. “Pretty sure I told you to stay away from me.”