jake ; 26 ; they/them ; pst. now that she's back in the atmosphere with drops of jupiter in her hair. she acts like summer and walks like rain reminds me that there's time to change, since the return of her stay on the moon she listens like spring and talks like june.
pandora had been sitting on the couch with her hands on top of her stomach since it was basically a shelf at this point listening to the radio and writing down names that had struck an interest in her. so far, she had about ten names, though if she were being honest, none of them sounded too appealing. when she had found out that she was pregnant it had been a shock but also funny knowing that out of anyone this would happen to both of them. it hadn’t taken long to realize that her feelings for xeno were platonic, that she had loved him but not in the way that she should but she was grateful despite everything they were still best friends that were about to have this baby together and it would be loved and cared for. she feels a kick to the ribs and she braces herself for a moment before cusing. “fucksake kid,” she sighs, looking up, “your child is doing somersaults right now,” she had waved the paper in front of his face and smiled, “added a couple more names to the list, by the way.”
selene / julie -- send 🎄 for our muses to decorate the christmas tree together .
selene couldn't remember the last christmas that she had enjoyed. when she was bitten it was like it had ruined everything for her. she remembers that first year when christmas came around she had went to her old house and stood in hiding watching as her family opened presents under the christmas tree, and they looked sad. and when the next year came the sadness had turned back to joy, and she thought of how grief seemed to work in waves like that. she watched as her mother had picked up a photograph on the mantel, it was one with all of the, selene included, she had smiled and looked away.
the christmas tree had been decorated with even more ornaments, their family tradition of collecting a new one each year. she had grabbed one from hogsmeade a few days ago and was planning on placing it in the mailbox but seeing as how they finally managed to move on she felt like she couldn't do that to them. remind them of the old hurt.
years later she still has the ornament, and she leaves her parents house once more, noticing the new additions to the family; all the nieces and nephews she would never get to meet. she heads back to where the pack was currently staying, it wasn't much, in fact, it was pretty bleak, selene had spent the rest of her money on a christmas tree, trying to remind herself that this had been one of her favourite holidays, that while they were this thing, they were also people underneath it all.
"let's decorate the tree," she says to julie, grabbing the one ornament that she had carried for years since she got turned, she places it on the tree as a reminder of what once was.
After an endless stream of photographs with Gwendolyn McKinnon
“Finally, fucking finally.” The heels were gone before the words had even finished leaving her mouth. Honestly, she’d felt tall enough without the monstrosity her mother had her put on her feet for the ceremony and all the bloody pictures. She balanced herself out from the final flash, barely realizing her hand had made its way to Gwennie-girl’s shoulder “Looked lush but felt like pixies biting off my fucking toes, they did.” Hand pulled back, and sly smirk with forward glance ignored the side-eye from her mother. Marlene would have no more scolding today. The angry silence that came her way when she finally presented her dress only this morning was more than enough from either of the other women in her life. But rather, she kicked the Godric-forsaken heels under the nearest table, happy to let whatever toddler cousin from Ernie the Accounter’s side play with them. “Think he’s actually going to charm all those photos? I just want the ones where you look like your going to sneeze.” Nose wrinkled behind the teasing tone of her voice. @drcpsofjvpiter
she didn’t see eye to eye much with her sister but she had to agree the shoes she wore were killing her feet too. she had even tried breaking them in before the wedding but the pain was still there. though she wouldn’t ever say that out loud, not on her own wedding day. she had been trying to keep the peace within family members and she knew that marlene was a bit of firey spirit, but she knew that she was trying her best and that’s all she could really ask for. she squeezes her sister’s shoulders with a roll of the eyes. “i’ll make sure you don’t get those.” she had looked over to her now husband and smiled as he interacted with people from both sides of the family. there were so many people here, ones that she didn’t remember inviting but knew that marlene had something to do with it. she had been mad at first but the good of the day was outweigh the annoyance. in the end, she knew she needed to loosen up more. the music was starting up again and she had wanted to go out and dance but there were a set of things you had to do before she could metaphorically take her heels off.
cherry burst into a fit of laughter at arden’s approach, not surprised by the offer in the least. ❛ if this happens again ? then yes, i’ll definitely use your services, ❜ she nodded as she crinkled her nose a bit, ❛ but i’ll let them off the hook just this time. ❜ she joined her arm with arden’s, elbows interlocked together as she turned them the opposite path. ❛ you really allowed yourself to eat a stale scone ? better of eating an entire brick, you are. let’s remedy that, please. ❜
“you are far more tolerant and kinder than i will ever be,” and that’s why she loved her. cherry was everything she wanted to be. though they both had grown up differently she had felt such a strong and deep connection with the girl and would do just about anything for her and her sister. even if it meant a tiny little hex, she wouldn’t feel any remorse doing it if it was for someone she loved. “i was desperate.” she says with a laugh, shaking her head, “i regretted it the moment i put it into my mouth,” her stomach grumbled, she was happy to get out of the heat and into some cool air with good food and company.
ysamine is lost in her own mind , gaze fixed on a certain pair at the front of the reception room but its arden’s voice that forces her out of the trace . ❝ you simply never disappoint , ❞ the brunette says with a fond smile , reaching out to take the glass filled with a questionable shade of liquid . without much thought , yasmine manages to drink the whiskey with only a small flinch - face now scrunching as the burn soothes her throat . the only immediate response she can manage is an understandable hum , a half nod in consensus . ❝ such a shame that a halfblood family with such … influence would freely encourage the wedding with a muggle . ❞ she rests the now half empty glass of whiskey on her lap , now thinking about cherry . this event alone meant differently to each other . yasmine would try to emphasize . ❝ this alone just adds a target to their back . love is selfish , arden , but this is just blind . ❞
she never liked weddings. mostly it was because she knew that she would have to have one. with a man. she didn’t want to marry a man. so by default she detested them and going to this one was a shame for her, though she knew a lot of it was her own parent’s teachings, but for this one thing she could agree on. love is selfish. she looks over at yasmine briefly, she seemed to be elsewhere for a moment but arden doesn’t question it. she came to be the entertainment and back up if anything were to go down but it seemed like it was a pretty tame evening, littered with classmates that she didn’t like. “i think it’ll get more tolerable the more we drink this,” she says, holding up the glass and taking another drink. she briefly scrunches her face never been a fan of whiskey herself but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to get through this sober, especially since yasmine looked radiant and that was a feeling she needed to suppress down for the night. she tapped her fingers against the glass before sighing. “it seems like everyone is moving towards the dining hall,” she wasn’t particularly hungry and didn’t want to socialize with anyone but yasmine and cherry, though cherry was nowhere to be found at the moment which left her alone with yasmine, which she really didn’t mind. “what do you want to do?” she looks her in the eyes this time, a small smile on her lips.
fiona was one to make themselves scarce — hidden away in places where no one would dare to look or even pay much attention. it wasn’t that they wanted to keep a low profile, but during times where shit wasn’t hitting the fan was when she stayed hidden. however, after nearly twelve years in the shadows, fiona wasn’t sure how much longer they could stay hidden from the boy they once saw as an opportunity, one to fill their own maternal instinct. this time, however, they royally screwed up, being spotted creeping almost immediately with nowhere else to run.
it was rare when remus was left alone, his father had gotten more and more protective of him after his mum died. it was a shock to all of them, but he was starting to get used to the deaths now. he couldn’t stop them, and no matter what he did they would always be gone. he held on to his friends even more now, needing them to stay alive, to make it through the war they were currently going through but it wasn’t easy. but he needed a few hours to himself. he practically begged his father to let him go to a bookstore. he had been book shopping for a while now and was proud of what he had bought, it was getting dark and knew he needed to go home before his father sent a search party out for him. there was a figure, not too far away, but enough to make it look like they knew who he was. his father worked with many people and assumed that maybe he had called someone to find him to see if he was alright. he had looked at the way he was going to go home and then back at the woman before eventually finding himself walking towards them. he didn’t know how they seemed but the feeling he didn’t get was dangerous. “are you alright?”
He bit his tongue, as recognizable as she was. From the profile of her face, Ben couldn’t tell if Arden recognized him, or if this was some stupid game they were going to play in public. But it wasn’t like people out there didn’t know who he was, even if he pretended otherwise in most social situations. It was better to leave that identity to when it may actually have some benefit. But here, Benjamin Vargas stalled and watched curiously from the sideline of his own vision, still widely aware of the rest of the shopping street. The bright side? A gauge of her own skills in comparison to his - in the most neutral way, even though she didn’t seem like the type to fight him. And he wouldn’t want to fight his sister, not if she had the potential to be real family. He waited patiently to see what she’d throw out there…standard or creative, before realizing how oddly silent he was being at this moment. “Probably clears up in a little bit. I don’t mind waiting it out for the better.” And he liked how it looked on the cobblestones, sometimes bouncing off or blending right in.
arden had watched the way it started to come down now, little specks of hail hitting the cobblestone. she smiles a little at that, she used to love thunderstorms in the fall, it made their estate look dreary but she had liked the way that the colours of the sky would change and the sound of the wind hitting the window with tree branches. maybe she romanticised it but there was something nice about watching it through a window and being completely safe. one of the elves would bring her hot chocolate and sometimes she would ask them to sit with her until it stopped. perhaps it was her grasping at straws for some kind of emotional connection; the girl had a very lonely upbringing. she looks over at him and shrugs, “i don’t mind the rain.” she hadn’t known who the man was but he seemed nice enough and arden didn’t feel particularly threatened by him which was rare, normally she would have snapped by now. she reaches her hand out again and grabs a tiny little thing of hail and examines it. “you uh, you have a different accent,” she acknowledges hoping it doesn’t come off as rude, but it was a familiar one from her home country, “does it rain much like this there?” unfortunate for arden, she only ever visited her home country, many times her family would mock their family for their accents and how different they were, she liked being home and around people that were like her but it made her parents uneasy which was rare but welcoming sight to arden. they never stayed long.
theo could barely hide her amusement at her twins displeasure of their co-workers — she could relate in ways of incompetence in the workplace, so she only felt sympathy for her. ❛ welcome to the wizarding world, effs, maybe we should’ve stuck to the shop, ❜ she murmured as she smoothed out effys hair, fixing it as their head laid on her lap. ❛ oh, you know i do. ❜ her grin grew devilish. ❛ according to my own sources, there’s going to be another bastard in the wizarding world. supposedly some higher up pureblood had an affair with a muggle of all people. names i’m still working out, but pretty juicy so far, yeah ? ❜
it was hard when you were one of the youngest. they had started school earlier than most children meaning they graduated earlier than most children, she was already an obliviator her training had come to an end finally and she loved doing what she did but sometimes there were coworkers that made her want to hex someone. if she were younger, she would have, but she had to put all of that away for the sake of professionalism. they hated being underestimated so they would prove that they belonged here like the rest of them. “yeah, we dropped the ball on that one, eh?” she says, scrunching her nose. she had thought about taking over the shop but she wanted to do more. be more. she had rose an eyebrow at the gossip, sitting up a little. “i admire your patience, i think if i had heard about that i would have posted it first thing.” she says with a wicked smile. “i’m sure they’ll do whatever it takes to cover it up,” they try and not think about both of their current situation with a particular witch.
❝ a letter ? are you serious , rodolphus ? ❞ rosine quickly shuts the office door behind her , a half creased parchment wedged into the fist of her right hand as she glares at her eldest brother . ❝ is this your way of an apology ? ❞ half angry but also heart broken , she tosses the written note on his table as the temptation to storm out is already there . their last encounter is still fresh in her mind and this certainly didn’t make it easier to forget . ❝ next time at least try to say it to my face , rod . that’s how people usually apologize . ❞
he hadn’t stopped thinking about the last time he saw his siblings. it had felt like a cut to the throat, it was taking up all the space in his mind, he hadn’t known what to say after, rodolphus had left as quickly as he came, he hadn’t wanted to upset either of his siblings more—it was why he chose to write a letter. it had never been easy for him, even when he was a kid to express his feelings. he never had the chance to let those feelings out—already a man before he got to be a boy. there was a lot of grief of all the lost time with his siblings, and he was tired of being the one to constantly drive the wedge between all of them. the career choice wasn’t one that he would have picked for himself, but he had mourned the loss of what he could have been a long time ago. there were times when he was envious of his younger siblings, their relationship much stronger than the one that he had with them. he wouldn’t ever let them know though, it was a weakness that he would have to keep to himself. “the last two times i saw you both ended abruptly. i had thought it would have been better through a letter.” he says, his eyes looking up at her, wanting to add, i’ve never been good with emotions, sorry i wasn’t better. “i’m sorry.”
there is a sound at anya’s door - sparking an instinctive move of her muscles to grab the wand laying on her desk . she’s expecting her sister , but her father’s voice always rings in her head : be ready for anything . she only relaxes at the sight of the other as the door shuts once more , a light smile already pulling at the lips at the recognition of freya’s disguise . a charm that the pair were almost experts in since graduation . ❝ you’re late , ❞ not necessarily a critique , but a wordless worry that something had happened . ❝ you’ve got the necklace , right ? ❞ a task that seemed mundane , but there was always a twisted reason when it came to the dark lord .
since they were kids they had constantly been in fight or flight, unfortunately for most people when it came to freya they got fight. she had been in one too many fights out of self preservation but she had grown up that way, it was all she knew. so when she gets tasked with this mission, it’s odd to her. who the hell wants a necklace like this? what would it be used for? she doesn’t put much question to it, though she had to put up a bit of a fight to bloody get it. when she finally makes it to hogs head she’s tired but happy to be at least safe with her sister. “oh, i got it,” she says, holding it up and watching the medallion swing. “oh, by the way,” she reaches out her neck moving the shirt cloth, “you’re better at healing spells than i am can you,” she gestures where she had been strangled before they had moved onto magic, it would leave a nasty scar if it didn’t get fixed.
i’ll give you everything i have, i’ll teach you everything i know, i promise i’ll do better.
tw: mentions of death.
( title from light, sleeping at last )
I.
The day her son is born is a lonely one.
She didn’t want anyone but the midwives, the elf that she had since she was a child couldn’t even come in. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to do this alone.
The day her son is born, he doesn’t have a name yet.
She hadn’t thought about picking one out for those nine months that he laid in her womb, the thought of becoming a mother was all too overwhelming, all too scary, all too sad. He was born into a world that had so much hurt and she couldn’t do anything to help it, only ever contributing to it.
They didn’t hear a cry at first, Arden had been worried that something was wrong, but like a crack of thunder his wail shook the entire house and Arden felt like crying. She didn’t think that she could ever be a mother, she didn’t think that she could possess that motherly instinct that she never got from her own.
The day her son is born, she kicks everyone out of the room.
Alone, again.
“Hello,” she whispers, her lips grazing against the top of his head, she takes in a deep breath, and closes her eyes, the baby makes a small noise and she tries to lull it back to sleep. He can’t stop moving in her arms.
“I’m your mum,” she whispers again, she doesn’t know why she’s whispering, maybe afraid that if she was any louder it would break whatever fragile bubble they were in. She wanted to stop time and just live in this moment a little longer.
He reaches out and grabs her finger, yanks it with a mighty grip of a baby that’s only a couple hours old.
She presses a kiss on top of his head and wraps her arms around him gently, wanting to keep him warm and safe.
When Arden found out she was pregnant it was after Cherry died, after Yasmine had taken the fall for her and gone to Azkaban.
After, after, after.
She hadn’t wanted the baby, and for months she would stare down at her belly and think of how awful this child would be, how it would grow up in such a hateful environment like she did. How she wouldn’t know what to do with it when he was born, how much anger she had towards the whole situation she had put herself in. All the grief the past year had been of losing everyone she loved. Marrying because she had to, having a child because she had to.
She couldn’t help but think of all the missed opportunities she could’ve had. All the things she never got to be. All of that hurt and pain that her mother had caused her, all the indifference that she got from her father.
All the things left unspoken.
She had seen the baby’s future like that for the first six months, angry at having to be the one to continue the legacy, angry that she never got to have the love that she deserved.
It was a startling thing when she would hold her belly and look down at the mark on her arm.
She wore a long sleeve while giving birth.
She reaches out with a free hand, rolling up the sleeve and looks at the mark and then back at her child.
II.
It had been such a damning thing. The day she had gotten the mark there was a summer thunderstorm, she had a long day with her mother, she was still recovering from all the awful things she had done to previous Hogwarts students, all the things that she was forced to do, struggling with the thought of having liked the feeling of power while knowing that it was wrong but her mother had told her, it was all means to an end, arden.
The day that she had gotten the mark she had sat in the chair that was only for her father to sit in, she had stared up at the ceiling and counted all of the gold markings. There were one hundred. And if she cried, well, no one would know because she was looking up.
The burn had lasted for days. She couldn’t wear long sleeves because of how much it hurt, and she couldn’t leave the house because no one could see it. She had written a letter to Yasmine telling her that she had gotten it, and that she hoped that she was proud, but that part would have never made it into the letter. She had scratched it out before starting over again.
It burns.
I guess all the best things do.
Love,
Arden.
III.
She pushes the sleeve back down, cradling the baby’s head, there’s only little wisps of hair, but she pushes her fingers through them, her thumb roaming over his sleeping features, his noise, his ears, she lays another kiss on his forehead. It makes him stir but it’s not enough to wake him.
“You deserved a better birth story, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you one.”
He deserved her family in the next room, her friends waiting with baited breath for the news of his birth, a celebration after with warm food and good conversation, a house full of laughter and coos towards a child that would have a bright future, because he had born into this family with so much hope and expectations.
He didn’t get any of that.
Her parents were dead, Cherry was dead, Yasmine was gone, and she didn’t want to be married to the man that she was with.
“I’m going to make it up to you, I promise.”
You are going to be so loved.
She would protect him the way her parents never protected her.
When the midwife comes in to check on Arden and the baby, she asks, “Does he have a name?”
Arden looks down at this beautiful and messy thing she created, her finger still in his mighty little grip as he sleeps peacefully in her arms, with the promise of a better future than the one that she got she says yes.
it was rare seeing one without the other but she had liked sirius, especially when they were actually able to talk and have a conversation. she saw a lot of remus due to their book club but other than that it was hard getting a word in when all four of the boys were together. “i think we should dance,” she says, giving him a devious look, “i don’t think i’ve ever seen you dance sober and i think it would be fun.” the truth was, she was a little bit drunk and when she was drunk all she wanted to do was move, it didn’t matter what she was doing. “this is a fast paced song, i think it’s time for you to break out your moves. maybe find a signature move.”
lily had been swaying to the music that was playing with a glass of champagne in her hands. she was already pretty buzzed, but she knows that’s because of her own lower tolerance when it came to alcohol, a fact that many of her friends called her out on, but she would jokingly shoot back it’s what made her a great cheap date. she had looked over at the person, a small smile on her lips, nudging them with her arm and said, “so are you enjoying yourself?”
“my feet are so tired,” lily says finally sitting down in a chair and wanting to take her heels off. she knew that wearing heels would be a bad idea but she wore them anyway. it went with the outfit but god she was suffering with them now. she had looked over at peter and smiled. “are you enjoying yourself?” she had looked around the sea of people trying to spot a particular someone but having no such luck in finding them.
Thread: Frank Longbottom & Alice Martin
Location: The Martin Residence
he had adjusted his tie too many times to count, fingers nimble from the frustration that tugged at him with the unknown. it was ideal – that was how his mum had even started the conversation, alice martin was the ideal girl for him, the right one. as selfish as it was – he wasn’t entirely upset. he barely had time to say hello to a friend let alone date and here he was with a date ready to go on his arm - that was if he could will himself to knock on her door.
clearing his throat, as if there was actually anything caught in it – he gave the door three clear knocks, the other hand clutching the touch he thought was decent, his mum always said it was the little things that mattered and the bouquet in his hand seemed appropriate. at the slightest crack of the door – a careful smile stretched his lips, “hello –”
an arranged marriage wasn’t exactly how she wanted a relationship, but she had been told over and over again by her mother how frank was such a nice boy, that she couldn’t have picked anyone better than him. of course, she had seen him around school, they had a lot of mutual friends, and she didn’t hate him so that was something. she had gone over which dresses she wanted to wear to the wedding all day, trying them on and putting them back. she decided to go for minimal makeup, they would be at this wedding for hours and there was marlene’s birthday after that she didn’t want to miss out on. she had even bought her a gift to give after the wedding. by the time that frank had gotten to their house she was freaking out a little bit and she didn’t know why. maybe because she had never been on a date before, aside from the ones planned by their parents, frank was the first person she ever dated and she didn’t even get to pick the date. when she opened the door she had smiled, looking at him briefly before saying goodbye to her parents making sure not to linger too long god knows when they started talking they would never stop.
“hi,” she says, looking at the boquet, not knowing if they were for her or for the bride. she decided she wouldn’t pay mind to it unless he said something. “you look really nice.” she says, rocking on her heels. “thanks for coming with me, by the way. i mean i know you were invited, i just mean going with me.” even though their parents had a very heavy hand in this particular date, to maybe prepare them for their own future either way she was excited.
she had never been to a muggle wedding, and she didn’t know what to really think of it when she had got here. she knew that she technically wasn’t supposed to be here but she was accompanying yasmine while she was on a mission of her own. it didn’t matter, she liked being around cherry and yasmine and that was good enough for her. but being here did put a bad taste in her mouth, she kept yanking down on her long sleeve dress out of habit, desperately wanting to get more drinks at the bar, but she had been patient, taking sips of the champagne being passed around but it wasn’t enough to take off the edge. she had leaned against yasmine in their seats and by the time the service was over arden had said she’d be right back to go grab them something stronger, “got it.” she says, having dumped whatever whiskey she could find into a cup and bringing it over to yasmine. “bottoms up.” she said, clinking the glasses together and taking a long drink of it. “these muggles are so.... happy it’s nauseating.”
