a/n: holy shit, I'M BACK 🤩 and the semester is finally over!! but i am doing summer classes starting Monday 💀 as reparations for my long absence, bep, here is a little joker blurb for you while i work on the other requests that have been rotting away in my inbox :)
Joker takes every visit from Batman to heart. A knowing smile graces his face and the beginnings of laughter begin to bubble within him when he sees the familiar silhouette materialize from the shadows of his cell.
"My, my, look what the bat dragged in. Did you miss me already, Batsy? Couldn't wait for our next date, could you?"
Not even the ghost of a smile crosses the Dark Knight's face, but Joker doesn't mind. It makes breaking him and his little moral code all the more satisfying in the end.
Tucked away in the deepest, darkest corner of Arkham Asylum, it's a luxury to know these special visits are away from prying eyes—more time with the Bat for him. Of course, it wouldn't be Batman if he wasn't there for some kind of information. But Joker loves knowing he has information that his beloved Bat wants. If his dear ol’ Batsy wants something, he needs to work a little harder for it, right?
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
I write Tinkerbell fics now, I guess. 🤷♀️ Anyway, I had the most garbage week, and I guess this is the outcome of that. As per usual, there is no hope here, only heartbreak, and I'm thrilled.
; warnings: very ooc, possible grammar errors, otherwise none
; form: headcannons (requested)
; word count: 695
; published: 10.05.21
; author’s note: final request finally done! pls i had a goddamn stroke trying to write this and just blanked a lot. i am so sorry if it’s not as good as you wanted, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
kaeya
the moment he finds out that you’ve been taken by abyss mages he gets so focused to find you that he neglects his own health
as the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius, he ordered the knights under his command to find any leads towards finding you
he himself goes on “reconnaissance” missions to get information of your whereabouts
when he comes back to the hq to sort through his findings, jean noticed how much kaeya had neglected his own health and kinda forced him to take a break ???
everyone noticed how strange he was acting due to your abduction, albedo literally wanted to research this, but kaeya stopped him by saying that he’s just worried
understatement of the year right there
bitch is so whipped that he’s losing his goddamn marbles
the moment he finds out you’re being held in some ruins (kinda like the one from the new archon quest) he goes there alone
that’s usually a bad idea, but this is kaeya we’re talking about
when he arrives at the ruins he immediately attempts to search for you
as soon as he sees you tied up with chains, all bloodied up his blood runs cold
his mind was going a hundred miles an hour thinking of all the possible ways he will obliterate those abyss mages
despite that, his priority is obviously you, but some pesky mages got in the way and he had to get rid of them before he even got to you
you passed out from blood loss prior to kaeya’s arrival and awoke at the cathedral with barbara healing you
as soon as she noticed you’re awake she bolted out screaming, “i must tell kaeya you’re awake!”
moments later, kaeya had arrived at the room you were in with worry plastered all over his face
“dear,,,you’re awake” he spoke as soon as he saw you and just held you
he was so worried about your wellbeing that once again, he neglected his own health
“kaeya you have dark bags under your eyes” you slightly teased him and he actually laughed
he LAUGHED
pls he’s whipped
zhongli
zhongli and you were supposed to meet up at jueyun karst to have a walk together, but you never showed up
he didn’t lie he was a tad bit worried as you normally never ditched him or anything like that
he assumed something was holding you up at work and you’d be just a bit late
several hours later you still weren’t there
that’s when he knew something was VERY off
he returned to liyue harbor and even asked hu tao if she had seen you, but she hadn’t
then when he returned to his office he found a note sitting on the desk
“if you want them back alive then come to xxx alone”
that’s when it clicked in his head
it’s an exchange between you and him, but something in the back of his head told him this could also be a trap
you could already be dead and he was just too late to save you
despite all that he still went to the location mentioned in the note and was genuinely shocked to see that it was the abyss mages and,,,an abyss herald?
he could see you tied up behind the mages and his eyes softened, glad that you we’re alright
he did quick work of the mages, but the herald managed to flee
zhongli immediately ran up to you and untied you
he wished he could have hugged you just a bit longer, but he had to get you out of there
when he returned to liyue harbor, he took you to bubu pharmacy so baizhu could check on your condition more thoroughly
baizhu noticed only small scratches and bruises so he only applied some ointment to the bruises so they would heal quicker and disinfected the scratches
after that he let you and zhongli return to your home
you and zhongli just cuddled at home and fell asleep on the couch together
both of you would be sore the next morning from sleeping on the couch, but who cares if you’re with someone you love?
"Yeah, Prongs." Sirius said, watching you closely as he held the phone up to his ear. "Yeah, Harry's fine, I'm looking at him right now. He's playing with Y/N on the swings. So you can run along now and annoy Lily instead, yeah?"
As soon as he'd hung up he came up to you and Harry, getting behind the boy to give his swing a push.
“Y’know, pup.” he said, giving you a sweet look. “I must admit, seeing you be so good with little Harry is giving me a bit of baby fever.”
You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “Oh, hush, Siri. All in good time.”
Bau ranked most to least likely to wear a crop top (why? I do not know ❤️)
JJ- pretty sure she’s worn one on screen, definitely wears them on runs, “made” for her body type
Emily- JJ bought one for her so she wears it on occasion, it’s just black but she likes it. Pairs it with high waisted things
Spencer- I’ve seen a lot of femboy Reid and it’s growing on me. He wears them only on the weekends by himself because they’re comfy.
Penelope- she’s more of a tits out kinda gal which I respect so I didn’t put her as high on the list but she can’t stop herself from buying cute clothes so she has a bunch of them.
Morgan- Garcia bought it for him as a joke. At first he was all “I’m not wearing this I’m not a girl 😡😡” but then he realized it showed his abs so he allowed it.
Rossi- just feel like he did some shit back in the 80’s
Hotch- uhh if you even Look at his stomach he will yell at you. Not happening
Y/N was alone with the Weasley twins in the common room, it was shortly after 2 am and everyone had been staying up late after the twins had raided the kitchens but now everyone but these three were still awake. As Y/N was standing up George rushes over to Y/N and grabs her around the waist and crashes back onto the couch laughing as he freely roams his hands over your breasts and he is breathing into your ear and sucking on it as Fred pulls your pants and panties off you laying on the couch and while staring at your body softly whispers to himself and to George “beautiful.” George with his hands up Y/N shirt as he asks her if she “is going to come for daddy.” With that Y/N nearly sky rocketed off of the couch when Fred Weasley started eating her dripping wet pussy and pumping his fingers in and out all while you are writhing and whimpering in Georges’s embrace. “Fuck you taste so good baby girl.” Fred says as he comes up and starts taking his pants off he and George change places and Fred begins to fuck Y/N from behind all while he is holding her around the waist. Fred’s chest damn near presses all the air out of Y/N’s lungs and she never wishes it to end. George than decides to fuck Y/N once Fred is finished and both tell her what a good girl she has been and would she like to be their own personal fuck buddy, there own dirty little secret. From that moment on, they took her whenever they wanted her and it was glorious! Once at the burrow on the staircase just above where his parents were standing and talking, Fred started fingering Y/N on the stairs and when panting about his parents seeing, Fred just said as he finger fucked and kissed Y/N that she better hurry up and cum than, so she does. Molly is starting to wonder what is going on with Fred and George and I, it seems that whenever they get together, there is giggling and disheveled hair and clothing. Molly only has to wonder for a short while when Y/N becomes pregnant with twins, one belonging to Fred and the other to George. Once the confusion was explained and Molly realizes that both her sons are going to be fathers and both love Y/N that even though it seems unusual Molly is happy for her boys and for Y/N.
i’ll give you everything i have, i’ll teach you everything i know, i promise i’ll do better.
tw: mentions of death.
( title from light, sleeping at last )
I.
The day her son is born is a lonely one.
She didn’t want anyone but the midwives, the elf that she had since she was a child couldn’t even come in. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to do this alone.
The day her son is born, he doesn’t have a name yet.
She hadn’t thought about picking one out for those nine months that he laid in her womb, the thought of becoming a mother was all too overwhelming, all too scary, all too sad. He was born into a world that had so much hurt and she couldn’t do anything to help it, only ever contributing to it.
They didn’t hear a cry at first, Arden had been worried that something was wrong, but like a crack of thunder his wail shook the entire house and Arden felt like crying. She didn’t think that she could ever be a mother, she didn’t think that she could possess that motherly instinct that she never got from her own.
The day her son is born, she kicks everyone out of the room.
Alone, again.
“Hello,” she whispers, her lips grazing against the top of his head, she takes in a deep breath, and closes her eyes, the baby makes a small noise and she tries to lull it back to sleep. He can’t stop moving in her arms.
“I’m your mum,” she whispers again, she doesn’t know why she’s whispering, maybe afraid that if she was any louder it would break whatever fragile bubble they were in. She wanted to stop time and just live in this moment a little longer.
He reaches out and grabs her finger, yanks it with a mighty grip of a baby that’s only a couple hours old.
She presses a kiss on top of his head and wraps her arms around him gently, wanting to keep him warm and safe.
When Arden found out she was pregnant it was after Cherry died, after Yasmine had taken the fall for her and gone to Azkaban.
After, after, after.
She hadn’t wanted the baby, and for months she would stare down at her belly and think of how awful this child would be, how it would grow up in such a hateful environment like she did. How she wouldn’t know what to do with it when he was born, how much anger she had towards the whole situation she had put herself in. All the grief the past year had been of losing everyone she loved. Marrying because she had to, having a child because she had to.
She couldn’t help but think of all the missed opportunities she could’ve had. All the things she never got to be. All of that hurt and pain that her mother had caused her, all the indifference that she got from her father.
All the things left unspoken.
She had seen the baby’s future like that for the first six months, angry at having to be the one to continue the legacy, angry that she never got to have the love that she deserved.
It was a startling thing when she would hold her belly and look down at the mark on her arm.
She wore a long sleeve while giving birth.
She reaches out with a free hand, rolling up the sleeve and looks at the mark and then back at her child.
II.
It had been such a damning thing. The day she had gotten the mark there was a summer thunderstorm, she had a long day with her mother, she was still recovering from all the awful things she had done to previous Hogwarts students, all the things that she was forced to do, struggling with the thought of having liked the feeling of power while knowing that it was wrong but her mother had told her, it was all means to an end, arden.
The day that she had gotten the mark she had sat in the chair that was only for her father to sit in, she had stared up at the ceiling and counted all of the gold markings. There were one hundred. And if she cried, well, no one would know because she was looking up.
The burn had lasted for days. She couldn’t wear long sleeves because of how much it hurt, and she couldn’t leave the house because no one could see it. She had written a letter to Yasmine telling her that she had gotten it, and that she hoped that she was proud, but that part would have never made it into the letter. She had scratched it out before starting over again.
It burns.
I guess all the best things do.
Love,
Arden.
III.
She pushes the sleeve back down, cradling the baby’s head, there’s only little wisps of hair, but she pushes her fingers through them, her thumb roaming over his sleeping features, his noise, his ears, she lays another kiss on his forehead. It makes him stir but it’s not enough to wake him.
“You deserved a better birth story, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you one.”
He deserved her family in the next room, her friends waiting with baited breath for the news of his birth, a celebration after with warm food and good conversation, a house full of laughter and coos towards a child that would have a bright future, because he had born into this family with so much hope and expectations.
He didn’t get any of that.
Her parents were dead, Cherry was dead, Yasmine was gone, and she didn’t want to be married to the man that she was with.
“I’m going to make it up to you, I promise.”
You are going to be so loved.
She would protect him the way her parents never protected her.
When the midwife comes in to check on Arden and the baby, she asks, “Does he have a name?”
Arden looks down at this beautiful and messy thing she created, her finger still in his mighty little grip as he sleeps peacefully in her arms, with the promise of a better future than the one that she got she says yes.
