Working for Princess Peach as her official assistant seems like a dream job, until you realize how much you have to deal with a certain Koopa King. Why does he keep kidnapping you with your boss anyway?
Day 1-1 for the Assistant
Super Assistant 64
Assistant Party
Assistant and the Seven Stars
Wish Upon a Star Road
Doki Doki Panic
Paper Assistant
An Assistant's Intermissions
Super Assistant Sunshine
...ay Bowser?
Assistant in Time
Time After Time
Assistant's Mansion: Dark Showtime
A Father's Fury
Try, Try Again!
Of Rogues and Partners
Paper Assistant and the Thousand Year Door
Super Assistant Odyssey
Assistant's Inside Story
The Chapter In Which There Is Fury
In the Final
Assistant Kart Deluxe
Super Assistant Galaxy
The Ultimate Show
Level Complete
Special World (Bonus Chapters)
Super Smash Assistant
Unfinished Business
The Kamek Files
Curtain Call
Shadows of Hyrule (Link x Male Reader; Linktober 2025)
After an age of lasting peace, Hyrule has flourished, but even the most beautiful gardens can succumb to rot and plague. The darkness can only be purged by a new hero and his cursed guide.
The [Knight] and the Scholar
Do You Believe in [Magic]?
[Flames] of Chaos
[Nostalgia] Trip
Unrequited [Love], Missing [Friendship]
Train [Travel]
The [Undead] King
Song of [Healing]
Follow the [Blupee]
[Tunic] and Book
[Dream] a Little Dream of Me
[Obscure] Cure
[Village] of the Forgotten
[Statue]sque Royalty
[Underwater] Serenade
[Merchant] and Mage
[Korok] or Treat
[Dance] the Night Away
Broken [Link]
[Broken] Illusions
[Music] in the Cold
[Snow]peak Manor
[Echo] Fighter
The Power of [Science]!
[Twilight] Express
The Legend of [Zelda]
(Coming Soon!)
Dreams of the Kingdom (Link x Male Reader)
Table of Contents
"Power. Wisdom. Courage. The legend of Hyrule has always been the story of three. Where does that leave you, oh mighty prince of the wild?"
When an ancient evil awakens, it is up to you, the Prince of Hyrule, and Link to save Zelda and the Kingdom. But, this new evil runs deep, corrupting the heart of your kingdom. Is the past what you thought and are legends merely stories? Or is there something more sinister at play? A sequel story to Prince of the Wild.
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One Shots
Taming a Demon (Ganondorf x Male Reader) (18+)
Sometimes bringing a king of evil to see the benefits of peace doesn’t involve a giant quest for sacred relics. Sometimes, it just takes reminding him of who’s actually in charge.
AO3
Wattpad
Running in Place (Link x Male Reader)
Life on a farm far from any sages, demon kings, or creepy masks is pretty peaceful, so when a new face drops by it can be quite the exciting change. But… why does he look so familiar then?
AO3
Wattpad
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The Demon Incident (Bakugou/Midoriya x Male Reader)
Ashido suggests a harmless scare-off competition for Halloween. Leave it to your boyfriends to truly take it to the “Plus Ultra” level.
AO3
Wattpad
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Dream Depot (2018-2019)
Prince of the Wild (Link x Male Reader)
You had never been able to confess your love for Hyrule's greatest swordsman, but a second chance at life may be just what you need.
AO3
Wattpad
The Boyfriend Type (Kaoru Hiitachin x Male Reader)
You never imagined your study abroad in the lap of luxury would be spent as an entertainer for ladies with too much time on their hands, especially when you prefer gentlemen.
AO3
Wattpad
Dream Seeds (Various x Male Reader)
A loose collection of one-shot Male Character x Male Reader fics. These may eventually develop into full stories or remain quick fantasies. If you're looking for a short story to send you to dreamland, this is the place for you.
AO3
Wattpad
Monochrome (Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir x Male Reader) - INCOMPLETE
A mysterious power, a cute superhero, and a student. Was it any surprise that you would fall for him?
Super Royal Assistant! - Special World 4: Curtain Call
Previous < First
As the final curtain falls and we bring the bonus chapters to an end, it's time for a festival... and a very sour diva who wants to make it all about her...
AO3
Wattpad
or below!
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“Good afternoon everyone, this is the Lakitu Bros from Lakitu News Network reporting live from New Donk City. It’s a beautiful day here at the historic Howard and Nester Theater as we await for the arrival of Mayor Pauline for the opening of the New Donk City Pride Festival!”
Bowser walked with you and the kids towards the theater, entering far from the ravenous press through the rear. The kids were bubbling with excitement – even if some were still a little young to fully grasp what was going on. It wasn’t hard to notice your husband was a little tense. You gently took his hand. He smiled down at you. “Thanks nerd. Guess I’m a little on edge.”
You squeezed his hand. “It’s not your first Pride, and I’m sure this one will go better than the last one. And hey, if you happen to turn into another raging beast made of black paint, I’ll just kiss it better again.” Bowser did already have some paint on him, but this was of the non-magical, non-toxic variety. His shell and cheek had the colors of the bisexual pride flag painted on. You had your cheek painted with your preferred flags as well, Junior’s handiwork of course.
Bowser snorted. “I know, just it’s my first one since comin’ out.”
“Says the guy who proclaimed I was yours on the most watched sporting event in the world?”
“Heh, I’d do it again. Just don’t want to make a fool of myself or ruin things for the kids.”
“You won’t. And besides, only Roy and Wendy are sticking around. Peach is going to take the others back home, and the four of us can enjoy the rest of the event.” Most of the kids were only sticking around for the family-friendly part of the day, though since Roy and Wendy were older, they were allowed to stay for a little longer… though Bowser did not want them out of his sight. “And we’re not gonna back out when this is Kammy’s big moment.”
You and Bowser reached the front of the check-in. There was a massive poster with Pauline, poised and dressed to kill. You had to laugh considering Kamek had consulted you and Peach for hours to figure out just the right wardrobe for the show. After all, as Kamek had put it, “I need to look my best! I’m going to be up there with the most important divas in the world! I mean, do I even have to mention how big Pauline is?” You were then reminded of how important she and the other secret guest stars were several more times through the past week.
Once you had all the tickets set, and popcorn and drinks for all the kids, it as time to head in and grab your seats. “[Y/n]! Bowser!” Peach called, waving you over to the row you had reserved. She was dressed much more casually than usual, but had three flowers in her hair matching the same purple, magenta, and blue that was currently on your husband’s shell. “Oh I was worried you were going to be late!”
“C’mon Peach,” Mario said, holding her hand. “We know they wouldn’t miss Kammy’s big day for the world.”
“Of course, and Pauline did invite us all directly,” Luigi said. He and Daisy were decked out for the festival, with Daisy snuggled up beside him.
Just then, the lights began to dim. Everyone quickly scrambled for their seats in the packed theater. A spotlight snapped on as a familiar face strode across the stage. “Hello there, New Donk City!” Kammy greeted. The crowd went ballistic with cheers. “You know, the last time I was in New Donk City, it was just called Donk City, but that was back when Fossil Falls was the hottest place to go. By the way, we’ve got some royalty in the house today, and I don’t just mean all you fabulous queens and kings and nonbinary emperors out there. Princess Peach is here, and I’m happy to say at a reduced risk of kidnapping for once! That’s because the King of Mean himself’s got a new man on his arm, say hello boys!” Cheers and whistles filled the hall as the three of you waved. “Of course, none of them are as big a queen as me. But enough of Mama talkin’ your ear off. Let’s welcome our first act today, the one and only Birdo!”
The crowd cheered again as a team of Koopa dancers twirled on stage in top hats and canes, throwing roses as the lights dimmed. The curtains parted to reveal Birdo on a swing. As the spotlight hit her, she began to sing.
Heart of a woman, heart of a man…
Both can know of love’s grace…
Just try not to get egg on your face.
Two hearts in doki doki panic,
My heart Flutter Jumps,
Kiss me, my darling!
Oops, there’s egg on your face.
“Now isn’t she darling, folks?” Kammy shouted over the cheers. “And she’s not our only guest.”
“Do you mean little ol’ me?” Madame Flurrie called as she floated out on stage. “Oh Kammy, dear, it’s been such a dream to perform with you!”
“Oh believe me, you have no idea what this means to me,” Kammy said, voice breaking a bit.
Flurrie laughed as she looked out over the audience. “My, oh my, it’s been a while since I’ve seen an audience this full and this colorful! I love performing during Pride, nothing beats an audience that gives you the same energy you give them!”
“I hear you,” Kammy said, “just barely, given these ears of mine. But you know what would be even better than three divas sharing the stage?”
“Why not four!” Flurrie laughed, blowing a kiss to the audience. “After all, it’s so much more fun when we come together, and a rainbow isn’t made with just one color. So my lovely friends… please put your hands together and give a warm New Donk City welcome for the one, the only, Mayor Pauline!”
There were loud cheers and the spotlight snapped on, but no one appeared. The applause died and murmurs passed through the crowd. Suddenly, another spotlight flashed on, but this one was purple with a mask silhouette. “Oh no…” you muttered.
A new announcer spoke up. “Put your hands together for the incomparable baddest of the bunch, the villain of the vine, the berry of whom you should be wary… MADAME GRAPE!” Purple mist filled the stage as the sorceress appeared, taking a bow and twirling her scepter as a slow jazz number started to play.
“Dammit! Really Grape?” Peach swore, standing up, but suddenly she was snapped back to her seat. In fact, the entire audience was stuck to their seats. Dark magic had wrapped around all of you, snapping you back to your seat like rubber bands. The same magic snagged Kammy, Flurrie, and Birdo on stage. Mario took Peach’s hand as you all watched Grape carefully.
“That’s Madame Grape to you, Peachy.” The prima donna hovered out over the audience. “After you ruined my plans for the Sparkla Theater, I vowed I’d get my revenge. And what luck! I also have a chance to get revenge on you!” She said, pointing at you.
“Me? What did I do?!”
“How dare you forget… when I’m done with you, I’ll put you in a nice little painting that I can hang in my mansion. Oh that’s sure to get King Boo’s attention!”
“Oh for fuuuuu-,” Bowser muttered, catching himself just in time. “You better leave our family alone or you’re gonna hear from me!” Bowser roared flames that narrowly missed Grape.
“Can’t help but feel like this is a little homophobic,” came a shout from the crowd.
“Yeah, like,” another voice started, “you’re holding a pride event hostage because you wanted to make it about yourself and your het relationship?”
“I mean, the dress is slaying honey,” said a third, “and we love a diva tantrum, but you’re sooooo out of line.”
Grape huffed. “Okay, I’m trying to create the ultimate tragedy here people. Sure it might be dedicated to my future husband…” Bowser snorted with laughter. “FUTURE HUSBAND! BUT, I am also creating a living art, and you can’t fault a theater girly right?”
“I mean, claiming it’s because you’re a girl thus somehow exempt from the rules is a bit regressive to feminism, isn’t it?” Peach said.
“I didn’t ask you Peach!” Grape rubbed her mask in what appeared to be a growing migraine. “Okay, I’m making tragic yaoi. Is that good for everyone?”
“Okay werk!”
“DAISY!” Your entire row shouted.
“Ugh, everyone’s a critic,” Grape muttered, snapping her fingers. A large TV rolled out onto the stage, pushed by a few of her minions. “Last time, I thought the pure art of the theater would turn your comedic life into a tragedy, Princess Peach! This time, I’m not taking any more chances. I’m sending you straight to where the worst dregs of entertainment for the simpering masses end up!”
“Social media?” Daisy asked.
“TELEVISION!”
“Ohhh…”
“Now, you are all about to be my captive entertainment!” She swung her scepter and a vortex of magic surrounded your row.
Bowser shouted through the growing miasma. “Hang on nerd, we’ll get out of this!”
“No worries, my king,” you replied. “I think I’m used to kidnapping by now. However, I’m going to rip Grape apart if she dares HURT MY CHILDREN!”
You could hear Grape smack her scepter frantically. “C’mon faster, get rid of them!”
===============================
You awoke with your head ringing. “I thought I was done with all this,” you grumbled, rubbing your head as you looked around. You seemed to be in a dressing room of sorts, but you were completely alone. “Bowser? Kids?!” You asked, trying to keep the panic out of your voice. You bolted to your feet but froze as you saw yourself in the mirror. “I… beg your pardon?”
Your reflection revealed the comfy clothing you’d worn for Pride was replaced with the hottest threads this side of Inkopolis. Not only that, your hair had been perfectly stylized. You also wore a mic that wrapped down from your ear. If it was any silver lining, you were allowed to keep your spiked armbands, and even a matching choker was added. All together, you looked like the model of a punk pop star.
Just then, a light flicked on and a buzzer sounded. “Might as well play along for now,” you muttered, exiting your dressing room. The hall guided you naturally to the stage, where a bunch of familiar masked minions were dressed as a dance crew. A massive unseen crowd cheered. Behind them, held above the stage you could see a disgruntled Kammy. For a moment, stage fright dripped down your bones. “Wait, what am I thinking? I’ve dealt with King Koopa and Dimentio. What’s a crowd gonna do?” You stood straighter. “These guys I can handle,” you muttered to yourself.
You strode out onto the stage, a thumping baseline starting to play. As you took center stage, a terrible realization hit you. “I didn’t think of a song!” Grape’s Sour Bunch surrounded you, slowly closing in. “Oh c’mon, c’mon, think of something? What would Bowser do? What would… that’s it!”
You planted your feet, letting your Blue persona’s confidence take over, as an electric guitar magically appeared in your hands. You shredded the guitar and launched into a pounding melody. The crowd went ballistic as the Sour Bunch clutched their ears.
“That’s it!” You heard Kammy shout from up above. “You got them shakin’ what their Mama gave ‘em!” You laughed as you built to a grand finale that had the invisible crowd singing along.
Nobody believes in me and you
Just look at the way they stare.
So what if we live in a walled garden?
As long as I’ve got you then I don’t care!
Kick up the wall and take the plunge
Trippin’ through two dimensions.
Up on the moon, we’ll swirl and swoon
Just lead the way!
I’ll throw my hat in the ring ‘cause you’re the one!
A miracle in three dimensions.
Follow the brick path straight to my heart
And we’ll grab the flag together;
The fireworks are gonna start!
As you hit the final chord, sparklers shot off, and the Sour Bunch exploded into confetti. There was another buzzer and then the lights dimmed. In a swirl of magic you found yourself in what appeared to be the Peach’s Castle Mezzanine. The murals were replaced with large oil paintings of Grape and there were nine doors all seemingly angled to face you. Your clothes had also returned to normal.
“Well done!” Kammy cheered. “I wish I had my camera!”
“Thanks, but are you okay? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”
Kammy laughed. “No, of course not. The Sour Bunch look tough, but they’re more a nuisance than anything. I’m embarassed to say that Grape caught me off guard. I must’ve been too preoccupied with the show.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you said. “Guess I can’t blame Dimentio for all of the bad luck after all.” You looked around the mezzanine again, this time taking notice of a strange window. As you approached you could see the mezzanine seemingly mirrored on the other side, but you could also see something, or someone, much more important. “Peach!”
Peach ran to the window on her side. “[Y/n]! Are you okay?”
“Fine here, you?”
“Doing okay, just mad that Grape decided to show up.”
Kammy shuffled up to the window as well. “Well now, glad to know we’ve got company.”
“Oh Kammy!” Peach said. “Thank goodness you’re okay too. Do you happen to know where we are?”
Kammy tapped her wand. “It’s a reality warping spell, that much is obvious. We’re trapped on stage – or rather screen – giving Grape the performance she desires. She’s watching us right now.”
You looked around. “I don’t see how? Magic spies? I can’t feel anything weird, and even Dimentio wasn’t that good at hiding it.”
“Part of her reality warping. She’s watching there.” Kammy motioned with her wand towards the wall. For the briefest moment, it turned to static before returning to normal. “Quite literally on the other side of the fourth wall.”
“Great, so what do we do?” Peach asked. “How do we get out and help everyone?”
“I imagine our loved ones are trapped in here too. I’ll work on breaking the spell while you two free the others. Seems like Grape really has a vendetta for both of you, if she chose the two of you to play this little game.”
Peach shrugged. “To be honest, I thought she was dead after last time.”
“And I didn’t even do anything to her! All I did was…” Your voice dropped as you remembered. “Oh, she might be a little upset about the King Boo bit.”
Kammy winced. “Yeah, I’d say just a tad.”
Peach tied up her hair. “Well, [Y/n], how about we put on one hell of a show for Grape so we can get out and get back to the festival?”
“Sounds like a plan to me. Be careful!”
“You too!”
With that, you turned back to the mezzanine. The doors surrounding you all had circular plates, though that didn’t tell you anything about who was where. You approached the first, and in a swirl of purple magic, a mask and top hat appeared. “That… doesn’t tell me much.” You steadied yourself and pushed open the door, ready for anything.
==============================
You tumbled down into a school, specifically a teacher’s lounge. As you stood and examined yourself, you saw that you were dressed as a normal teacher at the end of a long school day. The sun hung low outside. More importantly, you appeared to be hand-drawn and digitally colored, like… “I’m in an anime?”
You then turned to what appeared to be your desk, where a ransom note had been left.
wE hAVe YOuR sOn. COMe aLOne.
A picture of Larry was paperclipped to the note, where he was locked in a cage. “Oh… when I get my hands on them…”
You then noticed you had a strange watch on your wrist. It looked normal at a glance, but there was a faint emblem of a Columbina-style mask in the background. You reached down, pressing a red button on the rim. Suddenly, you were transported into a sparkling void as your clothes were replaced piece by piece with a perfectly tailored three-piece suit. You ran your hand over your face, placing a black and white mask over your eyes. A black circle appeared in your now gloved hands. With a firm tap, it popped out into a top hat, which fit snugly on your head. “Look out evildoers,” you said, the words coming out of your mouth automatically as you struck a pose. “No one can hide from Phantom Thief Y!”
One transformation sequence later, you were running across the rooftops of Neon Heights, leaping between buildings with your grappling hook. You soon found the villain’s base and rappelled down behind cover. You made your way down the steps, taking care to avoid the roving robots and guards around every corner.
Soon, you made it to the bottom where you found Larry, locked behind a cage. “Lemme out!” he cried. “When my dads get here, you’re gonna be sorry!” The guards merely laughed, and walked away. You took that as your chance to sneak in. “Dad!”
“Don’t worry Larry, gonna get you out of here.” You placed a gadget over the lock, the machine picking it in almost an instant. Larry dove into your arms, and you gave him a tight squeeze. “There we are, I’m here. We’re gonna get you home now.”
“Over here!” You heard the gruff voice of a minion as the Sour Bunch came running around the corner.
“I don’t think so,” you said, using your star magic as a flash bomb. You held Larry tight as you shot your grappling hook and zipped back up the building. Up top, there were more masked guards. You were surrounded. “Well… if it works for Daisy…” You set down Larry, filling your fists with magic as you jabbed at the minions. Your magic punches sent them flying, and their bodies burst with light, disappearing into ether.
“No one catches the Phantom Thieves!” Larry giggled.
“That’s right,” you said, high-fiving your son. As you did, a new door appeared before you. “Looks like the show’s over.”
“Aww, can’t we do a heist?”
“Maybe another time, my little thief.” You pushed open the door and stepped through, holding Larry’s hand. On the other side, your clothes once again returned to normal. The door shut behind you and faded away, leaving only eight more.
You handed Larry off to Kammy. “You should’ve seen it!” Larry gushed. “Dad was so cool!”
“Yeah,” you replied. “Same as it was with you. You two stay here, I’ll be back soon.” You ran over to the next door. This time, a simple duo of musical eighth notes appeared on the next door. “Gotta be Ludwig.” You pushed open the door.
===============================
You landed this time on your feet. “Getting the hang of this,” you muttered. You were back in a suit, but this time you were wearing a full tuxedo with tailcoats. You took a step forward, only to slide down a slope made of marimba keys, a crowd of music notes popping up over each key as you tumbled down them. At the bottom, you bounced off a taut timpani and landed on a massive piano keyboard.
Above you, there was a deep laugh as two giant gloved hands appeared. “Well, at least they’re purple gloves and not the white gloves,” you muttered with a shiver. The two hands cracked their knuckles and twiddled their fingers before slamming down on the keys in a powerful chord. The vibration made you stumble, almost falling off the ivories. You noticed that more notes appeared as they played their chords. You jumped on your key, creating a small note, which you grabbed onto as it started to rise.
The hands seemed not to notice, instead hammering away at the keys. Rising higher up the piano, you swung off from the note to the music desk. “Father? Is that you?” Ludwig was trapped in his cage, used to prop open a sheet music book.
You quickly ran over. “It’s okay Ludwig, gonna have you out in no time!” You looked around for something to pop open the lock. You didn’t want to chance using too much of your magic and possibly hurting Ludwig. Then, you had an idea. You whistled and another note appeared. This time, you pulled it down and used the staff to pick open the lock.
“Father, thank goodness you’re here,” Ludwig said, jumping out. “I can’t bear to hear someone absolutely mutilate the classics of Grant Kirkhope like this! Can we leave, please?”
“As soon as that door appears…” you said, yet the door stubbornly did not. “Hmm, maybe it’ll show up if we give this guy some piano lessons. Help me with his sheet music, would you?”
The two of you shoved the music book over, tumbling onto the hands and sending him into a flurry of wrong notes. The hands twitched with anger, before flying forward. You grabbed your son and ran out of the way, just missing the hands as they got wedged in the space between the key cover and the music desk.
You jumped down with Ludwig back onto the keys, sending a few stray accidentals upward, where they smacked into the hands. “Hmm… maybe we can play something to beat them.”
“Great idea! I’m sure it doesn’t have to be complicated. Do you know how to play Arthur de Lulli’s ‘The Celebrated Chop Waltz’?” You stared blankly at Ludwig. He cleared his throat, blushing slightly. “Better known as ‘Chopsticks’?”
“Oh! Of course!” You jumped down on the keys with Ludwig. The two of you hopped in time, sending note after note smacking into the two hands. While the hands twitched, it didn’t seem to be doing much. “Hmm, maybe we need something a little more musical… how about Kondo’s ‘Underwater Theme’?”
Ludwig beamed. “Of course!” You took the bass line, jumping and striding almost effortlessly from key to key. Meanwhile Ludwig relished in playing the melody. This time, the hands twisted as the voice groaned. “How about something fancy? Shimomura’s ‘Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms’?”
“Grand finale!” you agreed. Once again, you took the bass while Ludwig took the treble. At this point the two of you were nearly skipping and sprinting along the keyboard, yet you couldn’t help but love every moment from the joy in Ludwig’s eyes. The notes you played glowed brighter and brighter, filling the hands with light. Once the two of you hit the final chord, the hands burst into confetti, and the door appeared over “Middle C”.
You and Ludwig bowed to each other, before bursting into laughter and heading through the door.
===============================
You landed in the next scene wearing a familiar jumpsuit. “Alright! Racing suit, I can do this!” Your smile faded when you looked around to find you stood in a children’s block fort, surrounded by toys. “Oh… Okay then.”
“Hi there!” Came a bombastic voice, coming out of a toy Koopa. “I’m Tricky Koopa! Are you here to race and learn about friendship?”
“Yes…” you said hesitantly, suddenly realizing you were in the middle of a kids show. Then, you realized you could use this to your advantage. You put on a big smile. “It’s really nice to meet you Tricky! I’m [Y/n], and I’m here because some bad guys took my kids from me. I bet they just need a good lesson in friendship. Can you help me find them?”
“Boy, oh boy! That sounds like a real pickle!” Tricky said. “What d’ya say, kids?”
There was nothing but silence.
“Great! Let’s race around the track and see if we can find ‘em together! Today’s race is gonna be on our favorite Ribbon Road!” Tricky patted your shoulder with his permanently curved plastic hand – which was in no way associated with any trademarked plastic toy brick company. “C’mon, [Y/n], you’re our new buddy so you get to ride in the Biddybuggy!”
In a puff of sparkles, a bright royal blue kart appeared next to Tricky’s green one. It was a bit smaller than you expected, being a kid-sized Biddybuggy, but you made do, squeezing into the driver’s seat. “Alright, hang onto your hat, new friend! Let’s gooooo!” Your engines revved. The flag dropped. “WOOO HOOO!” Tricky shouted as you both slammed on the accelerators… only to move forward at a much slower pace than you were used to.
“Oh stars, it’s 50cc,” you groaned realizing how slow you were going. “Kill me.”
“What was that, new buddy?”
“Nothing! Just… excited!” You said, trying to keep the facade going. As you made the first hill at what felt like a mind-numbing pace, passing through an item box only to get a Green Shell, you realized the track wasn’t as empty as you thought. Grape’s Sour Bunch was here too, and they were racing along on their own purple Biddybuggy’s. Immediately, you found yourself surrounded as they tried to push your kart off the track.
“Oh wow, more racers! I hope they’re friendly,” Tricky said. “Hey, I just remembered, we didn’t talk about today’s special letter!”
You flung a Shell at the minions, knocking a few away. “I think today’s special letter is ‘S,’” you said, “for Shell!”
Tricky clapped before quickly grabbing a hold of the wheel again. “You gotta write the new letter for everyone if it’s the special letter today!”
“Don’t worry, I got this,” you said, as you snaked back and forth on the course, knocking the minions off the ribbon. “There, ‘S’!”
“And there’s two new friends!” Tricky shouted. “Oh no, they’re all locked up, we gotta help them kids!” Sure enough, near the end of the track was a batlike member of the Sour Bunch holding a cage with Iggy and Lemmy inside.
“How did we not see them back at the start?” you muttered to yourself, looking behind you. “Anyway, Tricky, I have an idea. Can you give me a bump?”
Tricky gasped. “I can’t bump you! You might get hurt!”
You bit back your frustration. “How about a friendship bump so I can help my kids?”
Tricky’s eyes widened. “O-kay!” He revved up his (small) engine and rammed the back of your kart right as you bounced the springs. It was just enough to get the small kart airborne. You leaped from the seat and snagged the bottom of the cage, pulling it down. The bat tried to keep it, but soon, you wrested it free. You crashed into the ground, and the cage broke, freeing your sons. Soon, the two had you in a crushing hug.
“Dad, you found us!” Lemmy shouted.
“Can we go racing too?” Iggy asked.
“Awww, isn’t that sweet kids?” Tricky said, pulling alongside. “Now we just gotta finish the race!” You could see the door already forming on the other side of the finish line.
“Well guys, you heard what Tricky said,” you said with a grin. “Race ya?”
“Yeah!”
“You’re on, Dad!”
===============================
This time, you felt much more at home, dressed as you normally would be for your job with Peach. What you weren’t expecting was to see a courtroom around you, with Wendy handcuffed to the table next to you. “Dad? How’d you get here?”
“Grape’s magic, seems like she trapped us all in different TV shows, but I’m getting you out of here,” you explained. “And I’m guessing I’m supposed to be your defense attorney?”
“Yeah but,” she said with a wince, “do you know anything about the law?”
“Not a lawyer,” you said, which went doubly so for the author, “but these legal shows are never perfectly accurate, right? Besides, I wouldn’t be your dad if I wasn’t good at winging it when life throws curveballs.”
“Oye! Oye! All rise for the honorable Dark Judge!” The masked bailiff called. The court rose as the judge, an identical masked minion, arrived in a comically unnecessary powdered wig. As he got settled, you took a closer look around. There was a twelve person jury, also all Grape’s minions to the side. Several envelopes of pictures were scattered across your desk, along with a briefcase filled with documents. Behind the judge was the seal of the Mushroom Kingdom judicial courts.
“Please be seated,” the Dark Judge said. “In this case, we are hearing the People v. Wendy O. Koopa for the crime of being too cute…”
“Aww, Dad maybe we can let them go with this one!”
“...and for extorting King Boo and coercing him into entering a contract under duress.”
“Never mind.”
“Grape is so petty…” You rose. “Your honor, I’m afraid this case cannot proceed.”
The Dark Judge cocked his head, wig tilting askew. “And why is that?”
“Well quite frankly, the whole case is a nonstarter,” you said smoothly. “After all, that jury is not a jury of Wendy’s peers. In fact, not a single member is even a citizen of the Mushroom or Koopa Kingdom’s. Not only that, as her legal counsel, the prosecution failed to consult with me regarding jury selection. Therefore, this case should immediately be declared a mistrial.”
“I… well… well, this is allowed because we’re not using Mushroom Kingdom or Koopa Kingdom laws.”
“Oh really?” you asked, pointing to the seal behind the judge. “That seal is only to be used in official Mushroom Kingdom courts, therefore, if you are an actual judge, then we should be following Mushroom Kingdom law, correct?”
“I… uh…” The Dark Judge looked to the prosecutor and the prosecutor shrugged. The Dark Judge sighed and motioned to you to approach the bench. Once you got close, he whispered, “Listen, it’s a damn show. Grape gave us like ten minutes to make sure the sets looked good.”
“That’s cruel. Aren’t you guys unionized?”
“No? Are Bowser’s minions?”
You sighed and shook your head and looked at Wendy, stage-whispering, “They’re not even unionized.” Wendy gasped. You turned back. “Listen, you guys should get on that. Both Bowser and Peach have unions now.”
“Hmm, thanks…” The Dark Judge then looked left, then right, then pressed something under his desk. Suddenly the room grew darker. “Oh no! A broadcast outage!” He shouted, motioning at you and Wendy to go out the door he came in. Wendy’s handcuffs suddenly fell off her wrist. You took her hand and the two of you hurried out the door as the Dark Judge and the others all waved.
As you ran through the door, suddenly, you shouted, “Aw damn!”
“What’s wrong Dad?”
“All that time, and I never got the chance to shout ‘Objection!’”
===============================
Based off of all the other doors so far, you figured you had the pattern figured out. However, you were in for a surprise as you dropped into the next “show” in a spandex leotard. Peppy pop music began to blast all around you as you landed on a stage with another group of the Sour Bunch.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!” The crowd chanted in rhythm to the song, as you and the Sour Bunch began to jog in place with the beat. You quickly realized you couldn’t stop moving, the music was forcing you to dance.
“Dad help!” Your eyes shot over to the other side of the stage where Roy was forced into the same routine. “I hate cardio!”
“Hang on Roy!” You shouted, but another of the Sour Bunch appeared, this one being a very peppy woman in headbands and leg warmers.
“Hey there everyone!” She shouted in an obnoxiously enthusiastic voice. “Let’s get off that couch and get ready for a real workout! Let’s start with those arm circles!”
“Shouldn’t we warm up first?” You protested.
“No pain, no gain!” She shouted back. “After all, we all gotta get ready for summer!”
Even the minions seemed tired as they jogged beside you. You couldn’t help but notice that they were starting to whisper to one another, though you couldn’t hear what it was about. Besides, you were too busy edging across the stage closer to Roy.
“What’s the plan?” Roy panted.
“Working on it,” you replied.
“If you’ve got time to talk, you’ve got time to move! Let’s get those knees higher!” She said, sickly sweet. “Why would you want muscles when you could be nice and slim?”
“Oh screw you,” Roy panted. “I don’t wanna be a twink, I wanna be beefy! And who cares if someone wants to be muscular or thin or fat? Everyone looks good!”
Her head whipped around, almost to where you could hear her neck crack. “That’s it, you just earned yourself an extra session!”
“Over my dead body,” you shot back. “He’s right, who cares? If you wanna look a certain way, sure go for it, but everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin!”
“Cut to commercial,” she hissed. The music trailed off as she stomped towards you, the lights dimming. You noticed the minions had seemingly left the stage, leaving you with the very pissed off instructor. “I won’t let either of you ruin what I’ve got going, got it?”
“Congrats, you were almost scary,” you said, pointing at her and blasting her with your magic. “Too bad you turned off your music. Roy?”
He popped his knuckles. “Way ahead of you.”
“Wait, you can’t hit me!”
“These hands are gender neutral!” Roy shouted, winding up a punch just like his father. With that, the instructor went flying off screen, crashing somewhere in the darkness offstage.
“Nice one,” you said. “You should compete in the Olympics next time.”
“Nah, you know I’m more a bodybuilder.”
“I know,” you smiled as the door appeared. “C’mon.”
“Wait a sec! We gotta do one more thing while we’ve got this stage!” Roy said with a smirk.
“What’s that?”
“Posedown brah!” Roy shouted, flexing for the camera.
“Hey, save some for the festival,” you laughed, pulling him along towards the door.
===============================
You’d barely entered the next door when you found yourself on another stage, dressed as a chef. You stood facing another of the Sour Bunch, this one a shadowy chef that towered over you. An announcer’s voice echoed through the stage as the lights snapped on. “Weeeeelcome to Kitchen Royale! Today’s contestant is [Y/n], who will face off against our resident master, the Dark Chef!”
Audience applause played as you looked around the massive kitchen. The Dark Chef simply scoffed at you. “Look at him, I bet he’s hardly stepped foot in a kitchen. This is an embarrassment!” Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but wonder where the other minions were.
“And now, introducing our guest judge…” the announcer continued, “he’s royalty from outer space, and oh so cute! It’s Prince Luma!”
A partition fell revealing Prince Luma in a cage. “Papa!”
“It’s okay, I’m gonna save you!” You shouted back.
“Only if you can win,” the Dark Chef said. “Do you actually think you can keep up with me?”
“Contestants, you have thirty minutes to make the most mouthwatering dish that will astound our guest judge! Begin!”
Immediately, the Dark Chef got to work, moving like a blur throughout the kitchen. He had several pans already preheating as he diced vegetables and prepared a sauce. You meanwhile stared at your kitchen, unsure of where to begin. “Now’s not the time to freeze up, he needs you,” you whispered to yourself. “Think! What can you make? Ugh, the only time I really spent a lot of time in the kitchen was with Peach… wait.” You immediately threw open the pantry, grabbing eggs, flour, and sugar...
Thirty minutes passed in the blink of an eye, and soon you were standing beside the Dark Chef at a table near the front of the stage. Thankfully they had let Prince Luma out of the cage in order to eat the food. You could feel the eyes of the invisible audience on you as you stood with your silver platter. Yet, all things considered, you didn’t feel nervous anymore. After all, you knew you had already won.
“With thirty minutes up and the dishes plated, let’s see what our guest judge has to say,” The announcer said. “As per usual, we will begin with our master chef’s dish!”
The Dark Chef lifted the lid, revealing an absolutely scrumptious looking mushroom, marinated to perfection. “I have prepared for you a gourmet Shroom Steak, marinated in a Chuckola reduction.”
Prince Luma stared at it then frowned. “No.”
The masked chef blinked. “Uh… but don’t you want to try it?”
“No.”
“But it’s a gourmet dinner! Just try it!”
“No!”
You stifled a chuckle. “Nice try, but definitely not what he wants.” You approached with your own covered platter. “Besides, what he wants, is this.”
You lifted the cover and Prince Luma’s eyes lit up. “CAKE!” Under the cover, you had a beautiful strawberry cake with perfectly ripened strawberries and fluffy whipped cream. He twirled, a fork and knife appearing in his hands along with a little bib. “Thank you Papa!”
“Of course, little one. Go ahead and eat up, you’re a growing star.” You had to laugh a little; making all those failed cakes with Peach sure paid off. You had Tayce T.’s recipe memorized by now.
The chef however was incensed. “What do you mean?! You feed him cake all the time?!”
“Of course,” you said. “He’s a Luma. They need much more glucose in their diet than most do.”
“That… you cheated!”
You crossed your arms. “You’re the one who chose to challenge me with him as the judge.” Prince Luma giggled and a little burb snuck out. The cake was gone. “What do we say, little one?”
“Excuse me!”
“Good job,” you said, giving him a quick headpat. “If it’s any consolation, I’ll have to try that Shroom Steak recipe sometime.”
“Consolation?! No one wins against the Dark Chef!” Your opponent lumbered towards you, only to be smashed in the face by an empty platter. You simply laughed and picked up Prince Luma, as the return door reappeared.
===============================
You found yourself on a construction site wearing overalls, a bright yellow shirt, and a yellow hardhat. “Heh, Toadette would be proud,” you laughed to yourself.
“Dad!” Morton shouted, running and grabbing your leg. You were happy to see he wasn’t caged, but before you could ask anything, a fanfare played.
“Welcome back to Build It or Break It! Today’s episode is brought to you by the Happy Home Academy!” The unseen announcer said. “Now, let’s meet our contestants. We have [Y/n] and Morton on Team Koopa!” Morton waved awkwardly. “And, our champions, the Dark Builders!” Recorded applause played as two of the Sour Bunch appeared, in rather campy construction gear.
“Yeah, you think you can take us? We’re the champs around here!” One said.
“We’re the whole reason people watch!” said the other. “What do you think of that?”
“I think the producers of Sniff-It or Whiff-It are gonna sue the pants off you,” you muttered.
The announcer continued. “Today, we’re going to see if Team Koopa can make a better remodel than the Dark Builders! Let’s take a look at the current hot listing! Can Team Koopa remodel the great room of this house into a personal paradise? Or do our Dark Builders get to break their remodel and their dreams?”
A house seemed to rise up from out of nowhere behind you. It was surprisingly boring, one of the many identical cookie-cutter houses that one would see in an HOA. Walking inside, it didn’t fare much better, with everything painted in an assortment of shades of gray. “Why flip a house?” Morton asked. “Hard to live in upside down...”
“Not literally,” you explained. “They mean they’d want to sell it. Flippers usually buy a house and remodel it to sell it.”
“Oh…” Morton said, thinking as he looked at the example house. “Then why it look like crap?”
You did your best to stifle your laugh as the two Dark Builders grew steamed. “Then how about we show them how it’s done?” You spun your little hammer in your hand. Morton grinned and picked up a mallet. “So what do we do first?”
“I can pick?”
“Of course, you’re the expert. I’ve seen all your models, remember? Let’s make this the house of your dreams, okay?” Morton nodded excitedly, and then turned and immediately punched through some drywall with his mallet. “Stars, I hope that wasn’t load bearing.”
“Nope,” Morton said, quickly smashing through the rest of the wall. “Make stone blocks?”
You tapped your hammer against your hand, and suddenly a very heavy stone block appeared in it. “Got it!” With that, the two of you got to work.
“How’re you two gonna do it all by yourself?” One of the Dark Builders sneered. “Even we can’t do that without a full team.”
“Yeah and they’re off on strike,” muttered the other.
You frowned, they had a point, doing this all quickly would be tough. Your eyes then landed on the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter, which luckily for you was filled with cherries, Double Cherries to be precise. “Hey Morton, quick snack before we start!”
Morton walked over, a bit confused, but his eyes grew wide when he saw what was inside. The two of you chowed down, copy after copy appearing behind you, each with their own tools. “Alright, ready?” You asked, your voice magnified by ten.
“Yup!” The Mortons echoed back.
The room became a whirlwind, as the walls were stripped bare in the blink of an eye, with new wood and stone accents quickly being put up. A pair of you were holding up a Morton as he worked on the crown moulding, while another pair of Mortons carried a new kitchen countertop. Soon, you were all working to clean up any leftover mess, leaving the cozy new great room looking more like a cozy mountain chalet. Morton left the final touch, hanging a painting as you carried him on your shoulders.
“And that’s all for time! Hammers down everyone!” The announcer said. Your cherry clones popped out of existence as you set Morton down. “So, tell us about your vision for this remodel!”
Morton trembled, shyly starting with, “Picked… open concept.” You gently patted his back and he grew a little more confident. “And added ethically harvested Whomp stone for highlights. The wood adds character.” He said, smile growing. “It makes the house feel nice. Natural, not sterile. Good for family.”
“We want a place that would be where someone can relax,” you added. “Some places are overstimulating and some are understimulating. Gotta make a house a home you can feel comfortable in, not a place you’re trying to constantly keep nice to resell.”
The disembodied announcer seemed pleased. “Well said, now let’s see what our judges have to say about it!” Three dice blocks appeared in a puff of smoke, all of which spun to land on a perfect 10. “Wow! A first! Congratulations to Team Koopa!”
“You did it Morton!” You cheered, high-fiving him.
“Yes!” He beamed.
The Dark Builders were much less enthused. “How’s a kid beat us? This is rigged.”
You leveled a glare at them. “My son is talented at construction and design. I’d imagine the two adults would be mature about this and take the loss with some grace.”
“Well too bad, we’re breakin’ it anyway!”
“Yeah no,” you said, smacking the first with your hammer. Morton followed suit, flattening the other with his mallet. With that, another door appeared.
===============================
Of the two remaining doors, it was immediately obvious who was in the one marked by a paintbrush. You were equally not surprised when you fell into a cool dark studio with a canvas on an easel, a palette and a brush. Your clothes this time were a stained smock and a beret. Lucky for you too, Junior was in a cage not far away, and seemingly fine as he doodled with a pack of crayons. “Junior?”
“Of course buddy,” you said. “They didn’t try to hurt you, did they?”
“Nah, they said I was too much trouble. So they just gave me some crayons and left me here.”
You weren’t sure whether to be infuriated that they would do that to him or to be thankful he was completely safe and wasn’t bothered. “I see… well let’s get you out of there first. Did you see a key?” Again, the cage was too small to where you were worried about using your magic to blast away the lock. You started to look around the dark studio, but it was hard to concentrate with a fly buzzing in your ear.
“No, but you know all sorts of cool criminal stuff, right? You can lockpick it!”
You had to wonder if Larry was starting to rub off on his younger brother. “I don’t know a ton of cool criminal stuff… but I could probably figure out a lock. Would be better to break it if I had something strong enough.” You looked through some spare drawers, finding all manner of brushes, pencils, charcoal, and all sorts of other high end art supplies, but nothing that would break the lock. And worse, the damn fly wouldn’t leave you alone!
Finally, you growled and smacked the fly against the table. With a sigh of relief, the buzzing was gone. You kept looking, settling on a sturdy paperweight for pressing leaves and binding books, when the buzzing returned. This time, there were two flies. You could only roll your eyes, grabbing your paintbrush and using it as a makeshift swatter. With each swing, your brush seemed to grow a little bigger.
You fought your way back to Junior, ignoring his giggles as you tried to shoo the flies. By now, your brush was as big as Junior’s Shadow Mario paintbrush. With a wet slap of paint, the flies were smashed to the floor. “Okay, stupid flies…” You brought the paperweight down on the lock, breaking it open.
Junior leaped into your arms. “Yay, Dad! You saved me!”
“I’ll always be there for you, buddy,” you said. You barely had time to hug him before…
BZZZZZZZ…
The buzzing was almost droning. You turned to see a massive mechanical fly buzzing in front of you. “You… you squashed my minions!”
You and Junior looked at each other and back at him. You bit back a comment, but Junior had no such filter. “Your minions are flies? That’s lame. Like really, really lame.”
“How dare you!” The giant fly buzzed as you set Junior down. “I will not be insulted; my minions are elite troops! After all, the great Madame Grape personally requested them after her troops apparently left to unionize…”
“They’re not even Fighter Flies,” Junior sighed. You had to agree, and you imagined that Grape asked for him, because no other villain was really available and willing to go against the Koopa Kingdom.
“No matter,” the fly buzzed. “If you dare to destroy my minions, I, King Watinga, shall stop you!”
You looked to Junior, who gave you a smirk and pulled out his own brush. “Time for a little creative exercise, don’t you think Junior?”
Junior cackled with glee. “Let’s do it, Dad!” The two of you slathered the robotic fly with paint until he sunk into the icky goop. Junior tagged the paint puddle, and you signed with a star. “Dad, you should get your own giant brush like me when we get home. Then we can go painting things together!”
“Okay, but remember Junior, I told you, no more graffiti until you’re older.”
“And I’m only allowed to tag things that belong to corporations unless I get permission, I know, I know.”
You ruffled his hair. “Good boy. Maybe when we get home I’ll see if we can paint the wall in your room together.”
Junior hopped with excitement “Can we, can we?”
“We’ll see, c’mon buddy, gotta go find your Papa next.” The door appeared, and you stepped back through to the mezzanine where the others waited. Finally, that left only one last door before you. A massive crown appeared on the door plate. There was only one person it could be.
===============================
“Huh, well it’s been a while since this has happened,” you muttered. Instead of finding Bowser, you found yourself in a cage this time, with no way of escape. The cage was placed atop an altar at the center of a crumbling stone church you’d expect to find in Crumbleden. To make matters worse, you were also tied to a chair as a giant serpent slithered outside, blocking your cage. At least it wasn’t a dragon.
“Awww, did you think I’d actually play fair?” Grape’s voice echoed around this new set. “You can’t save your husband if you’re trapped too!”
“Yeah, something you should know about that, Grape. Never underestimate my husband.”
Outside your cage, the doors to the church flew open. Bowser stormed in, wearing a knight’s helm. Flames danced between his teeth as he approached, his eyes nearly glowing with fury. “GRAPE! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE HURT MY STAR!” Bowser immediately charged in… only to get knocked against the wall by the serpent’s tail. He hit the wall so hard, a few stray bits of rubble fell and clinked against your cage, almost musically. Even the serpent seemed to wince.
Bowser was far from done. He charged in again, roaring and spitting flames, only to get knocked back again. More rubble clinked against your cage with a few tinny notes and again the serpent winced. “Hmm…” you muttered. You narrowed your eyes and cleared your throat, singing a few lines,
Look at us, so big and small.
Two together through it all.
Heart of Gold, a wish come true.
You and me... unbreakable…
Once again, the serpent froze as you sang. “It stops with music! You can distract it!” You shouted. The serpent turned on you with a hiss, grabbing a rock and shoving it in your mouth.
Bowser looked at the monster, then back to you. “I… I was hoping to show you this later, but… now’s as good a time as any.”
I once wished upon a lonely star
For a love to heal my heart’s scar
My nerd, my king, my star, be true
Don’t need a crown, when I’ve got you.
You’re the one I’m dreamin’ of
The one my heart will always love!
Smithy, Fawful, and Dimentio too
A thousand troops couldn’t keep me from you
Even at the end of the line
I know you’ll always be mine
I’ll never stray far
from My Blue Star
With the final note, Bowser snatched the serpent’s tail, swinging around and around, smashing it’s head against the stone columns. Finally, he whipped the beast against the wall, knocking it out cold. He tore open the cage, lifting you out. You couldn’t help yourself. “Sorry Bowser, your husband’s in a different castle.”
“Don’t you start, nerd,” Bowser snorted. “There’s only one of you and I’d know any day.”
“One of a kind,” you grinned. “The song was beautiful, by the way.”
“Had a feeling you’d like it.”
You gave him a quick kiss. “C’mon, let’s get back to the kids and Kammy. I bet Grape’s gonna flip.”
“Good, someone needs to tell her that her show’s cancelled.”
===============================
The television spat out you and your family, as well as Peach with your other kidnapped friends. You breathed a sigh of relief seeing Pauline, Birdo, and Flurrie as well. The audience was still largely trapped in their seats. Grape sat above the theater, merely shaking her head. “Ridiculous… you can’t find good help these days…” She dramatically spun above you. “No matter, I’ll still steal the show and make this an absolutely dreadful festival!”
“You really think that you’re going to come here and upstage our show? Our special event?” Pauline said. She started to tap her foot and snap her fingers with a growing smile. “Then it’s nothing a little music can’t fix. Gals, let’s show her how it’s really done. Ludwig, be a dear?”
“Yes ma’am!” Your son shouted as he ran to the conductor’s podium. “One... two... a-one, two, three, four!” The pit orchestra erupted in a bombastic big band swing number, building to Pauline’s cue as she took center stage, tipping her hat to the audience.
Here we go, off the rails
Don’t you know it’s time to raise our sails?
It’s freedom like you never knew!
Birdo jumped in next.
Don’t need bags, or a pass,
Say the word, I’ll be there in a flash
You can say my hat is off to you!
Madame Flurrie and Kammy sang together, with the latter looking like she was about to burst from joy.
Oh, we can zoom
All the way to the moon
From this great, wide wacky world!
Jump with me, grab coins with me
Oh yeah!
All four gathered around the microphone, which was starting to glow.
It’s time to jump up in the air,
Jump up, don’t be scared!
Jump up and your cares will soar away!
And if the dark clouds start to swirl,
Don’t fear, don’t shed a tear, ‘cause
We’ll be your 1-Up Girls!
“What is this?” Grape scowled as the theater was starting to fill with a sparkling light. The divas began to dance as they sang, the audience clapping to the beat.
So let’s all jump up super high!
High up in the sky
There’s no power-up like dancing!
You know that you’re my superstar
No one else can take me this far
I’m flipping the switch
Get ready for this,
Oh, let’s do the odyssey!
“Stop this! Stop it at once!” Grape shouted, as the light was starting to eat away at her magic. She tried to blast the microphone, but her magic merely fizzled as it approached the stage.
“Peach!” Pauline shouted as the others took over the bridge. “We’ll keep her busy. How do you get rid of her?”
“Don’t worry, we’ve got that part,” Peach said.
“We?” you asked.
Peach grabbing your hand, “Like this!” Your star magic crackled with hers as a beam of light shot forth, smashing into Grape and knocking her back.
However, it wasn’t enough. Grape fought back, blasting back with her dark magic. “Oho, not this time you wannabe! I’m ready for your little radiant tricks.”
“Then maybe we need a 1-Up boy,” you smiled. Peach nodded and let go. You jumped on Bowser’s back, filling him with your star energy again. “Ready big guy?”
“Of course, my star,” he grinned. “Don’t even have to ask if you want me to smash something.”
Peach whipped her magic at Bowser, lifting him and flinging him towards Grape as you pushed your magic into him. “Consider this your final bow, you hack!” His fist plunged through her mask, shattering it. Grape’s body lit up with the star magic, and she burst into confetti, which rained down on the audience to thunderous applause.
Peach caught you both with her magic and brought you back to the stage. “Now that’s how you start a festival!” Your husband guffawed.
“I don’t think anyone will be forgetting it anytime soon,” Peach replied.
“That’s for sure,” Mario said beside her. “Now, let’s dance, shall we Princess?”
Peach blushed. “Of course, Mario!”
“How about you, nerd?” Bowser asked, but before you could answer, the two of you were tackled by the kids, all cheering and crushing you in a group hug. Luigi and Daisy snapped a picture as you couldn’t help but laugh.
You know that we’re all superstars
We’re the ones who made it this far
Put a smile on that face
There’s no time to waste
So, let’s do the odyssey!
You rested your head against your husband. “I love you, Bowser.”
“I love you too, nerd.”
===============================
A/n: Happy Pride everyone!
This sort of became the “musical” chapter unintentionally, and it was fun to do one more full length chapter before the end.
Thank you again everyone for taking this ride with me. I have to say this is the most fun I’ve ever had writing a story. I’m so thankful for your support and all of the fun notes and comments I’ve gotten along the way from all of you.
Onto the subject of Story 4… upon tallying the votes across the three places I post, we have a winner! Interestingly, we actually had an upset close to the end. Congratulations to Chat Noir/Adrien Agreste! We are finishing Monochrome everyone! Second place goes to Sidon, getting very close. Third place to Adaman, better luck next time. Thank you to everyone who voted! Hope you’re all excited as I am to dive into this story in the fall. If your preferred story didn’t get picked, please don’t worry. Every story idea that makes it to the poll is one I believe in and would like to try writing someday. So, it might not be next, but you may see it in the future.
Speaking of the future, after significant consideration… I may have some ideas already on the slow cooker for a potential sequel. Can’t promise when it will happen, but it’s definitely something I’d like to write someday.
You ran with Link through the University, higher and higher. “Yeah, we found Zant,” Link said into his phone, “he’s headed up to the Royal Ballroom! Meet up and we’ll take care of him.”
You smashed another monster with your tail before it could form. “Who knew he’d be so fast with those stupid shoes and helmet?”
Link cleaved through another monster. “He’s trying to trap us, isn’t he?”
“Most likely. I bet Ganondorf is up there too. We’ll have to change the plan.” A tall monster with a giant eye rose from the shadows. “Beamos!” You shielded Link from the monster’s laser with your wing as he shot a bomb arrow over your shoulder. You started to run again, but a Wallmaster appeared, grabbing your tail. Link quickly stabbed it with his sword.
“Thanks,” the two of you said in unison.
You ran through an undercroft as you climbed higher along the corkscrew path up the University grounds. As you burst out beside a pond, hulking Geozards leapt from the pond, snarling as their fins flared. The ambush had you off guard and before you could move, you were surrounded. You fought to push away, but you and Link were overwhelmed. Your mask was torn away in the struggle, as you tried to sink your own claws into the monsters. As claws clashed, little by little, your bandages were being torn away. Finally, you got enough room to blast the fish warriors in the face with flames. You stumbled away as your attackers screeched, trying to get back to the water. Link broke away from his and quickly dispatched the rest with his sword.
While the monsters were gone, the pain lingered. You sunk to your knees, wincing. Your scales were sore and aching. They had spread over your entire body, covering all of your burned skin, but that didn’t stop the sunburn-like ache under it all. “Navi? Are you okay?”
“Need to keep going, he’s getting away…”
“As if! Sit down and catch your breath. You’re not gonna beat him like this.”
“I’ll be fine, just… forgot how much those bandages were helping.” Your wings and tail twitched as you took deep breaths, pushing past the pain.
Link knelt beside you. “You said Maple helped you when you first transformed, let’s go find her, maybe she can fix it? Or maybe Venus?”
“Link, if we wait we’ll give them a chance to regroup. We need to keep going. I’ll be okay.”
“But… what if you transform?”
You looked down. Transforming fully seemed all but a certainty at this point. “If I do… I know you’ll bring me back. You always have before.” The dragon must have agreed, as your tail began to wag uncontrollably as Link got closer.
Link rummaged in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle filled with red liquid. “It’s… not much, and definitely not like Venus’ magic, but I thought I’d get it for you, just in case. Good thing, huh?”
“Thanks,” you said softly, accepting the red potion and taking a sip. The potion was concentrated, so the taste was a bit intense, but it at least helped to ease some of the pain. Once you had finished, you found Link shoving a protein bar at you. “Really?”
Link frowned. “You didn’t have enough last night. You’re gonna need your energy if we’re gonna fight Zant, Ganondorf, and their boss.”
You took the protein bar, noting that Link had given you his favorite flavor. “Thanks Link.”
“Just glad I can take care of you for once,” he said with a lopsided smile. “Though… gotta say, three big fights back to back is gonna be dangerous for any of us. Sure, we’ve got Venus and Ralon to heal us up, but it’d be great if we could break it up a bit more.”
You chewed the bar thoughtfully. “Actually… we might be able to. I think I know a way we can get Ganondorf off the board. Gimme your phone?”
Link tossed it to you and you quickly shot off a text. You tossed him his phone back. “Okay, let’s go!”
==============================
You caught up to Zant just outside the ballroom in the beautiful gardens at the highest level of the University. “No more running Zant!” Link shouted. “Stand and fight.”
“Did it occur to you I might be bringing you here to trap you?” Zant sneered, only to get shot knocked over by a bomb arrow. Pillars of ice rose around him.
“Did it occur to you we were a step ahead?” Ralon said with a smirk as he and Corbus stepped out from a gazebo in the garden.
Before Zant could find his footing again, he was clobbered to the ground. “Comin’ through!” Aryll laughed, grabbing him by his long dragging sleeve and whipping him around into the ice pillars.
Zant broke free, backing away with a handspring. “You… you brats! I will not have you make a mockery of me!”
“Aww, but it’s so fun,” Aryll pretended to pout. “Is the big bad general sad that he’s outclassed?”
“I’ll show you!” Zant charged forward straight at Aryll, twin swords appearing from his sleeves. He was stopped short by two other swords, as Avil stood in his way. Zant bounced back, only to slam into a large stone arm.
Professor Komadoh laughed from the stone Zelda’s shoulder. “I suppose we should’ve expected this. After all, the stories say you had to hide behind your other monsters when you fought the Hero of Twilight. I just didn’t expect someone to be so pathetic.”
“You… you…” Zant stomped his feet and screeched in anguish. “You won’t be laughing once I get more reinforcements!” He started to run, but smacked into a wall of golden light.
“Oh you’re not going anywhere.” Venus rose over the edge of the dropoff. “Boys, leave him to us!”
“Thanks everyone!” You shouted. You took Link’s hand and ran through the doors.
The University’s Royal Ballroom was formerly known as the Sanctum, the once throne room of Hyrule’s Royal Family. The University had since turned it into an event space for galas or for graduation; though tonight, the space was left open and empty. Despite improvements for modern conveniences, it had largely remained preserved. The thrones still looked down upon the ballroom, and there were large verandahs and balconies that gave one a beautiful view of all corners of Hyrule. One such balcony was occupied; a man with fiery hair stood on the south end, looking out over Castle City and Hyrule Field towards Gerudo Desert.
“And so the hero and the prince arrive…” His rumbling voice shook you. Ganondorf turned from the overlook towards you. He shed his robe, revealing a dark set of armor beneath. “I’ve been waiting for you to arrive.” He descended the steps toward you, regal yet something about him seemed almost wistful.
“How about we skip all of this and just jump to the part where you tell us who your boss is?” you said.
Ganondorf watched you with amusement. “Funny how even after all this time, you sound much like your ancestors.”
“Not that you would know, you’re just a reflection of the past, diluted with time and details lost to history.”
“That’s the funny thing,” Ganondorf said. “I may not be the same Ganondorf, and sure, some of the details may be wrong thanks to stories being twisted… but sometimes stories exaggerate. Heroic deeds become more impressive and villains become more heinous. So, little dragon, can you imagine what years of being Hyrule’s greatest nightmare does?” He laughed, low and menacing as a swirling vortex of darkness engulfed the ballroom. “Ganondorf, the Demon King. Ganondorf, the Undead God. Ganondorf, the King of Thieves. The title matters not. I can be all of it at once.”
He rose into the air spreading his arms. Almost carelessly, he flung a spell towards you. Link raised his shield just in time to stop a blast of magic from hitting you, reflecting it with the Mirror Shield. Ganondorf batted the magic away, singeing a stone column. A double-ended trident appeared in his hand and he swung it down, sending a horde of Fire Keese towards the two of you. You quickly smashed through them with your tail.
Ganondorf flung his spear at Link, who dodged in time. He shot another blast of magic at Link, and this time Link batted it back with his sword. Ganondorf now drew a large claymore, knocking the magic back. The ball of energy bounced between the two, giving you just enough time to slink back and spread your wings. As Ganondorf knocked the magic back, you flung yourself towards him, knocking him out of the air. You pinned him to the ground, fangs bared. Just as you were about to strike, he disappeared. He reappeared above you, knocking the magic burst down and into your back.
“Argh!” You winced as the magic crackled around you, legs going numb. Ganondorf slammed down in front of you, striking you with the flat of his claymore into a column and pinning you with it against the stone. His other hand forced your head away from him to prevent you from breathing fire on him.
“Underestimate me at your peril,” Ganondorf sneered. Yet, despite being pinned, you started to laugh. Ganondorf frowned. “I admit dragon, this is new…”
You looked at him through his fingers, a faint chime playing across the room. “You’re not the only one who’s back from the dead.”
Ganondorf looked confused, only to be blasted across the room and into a wall. The Guardian ran after him, with Purah in tow. Ganondorf brushed off some stone rubble as he stood, breaking into a demented grin. “The pathetic knight… Is a replica really enough to defeat me?”
King. The Guardian said, drawing his sword. And nothing better to kill a copy than another copy.
“So be it… I’ve longed to have another battle with an opponent who could truly test me,” Ganondorf growled, leveling his sword at the mechanical knight.
And so we shall… after this. The Guardian shot forward in the blink of an eye, dodging Ganondorf’s sword. He grappled Ganondorf, locking him in a bear hug. Purah now!
“Right!” Purah snapped her fingers, and the three began to glow.
Good luck, grandson. Link. The three turned into ribbons of blue light, spirited away somewhere to have their duel far from the University by Sheikah teleportation. With that you and Link were left alone.
“How long do you think we’ll have to wait for the boss to show up?” Link asked, holding the Master Sword tightly.
You couldn’t help but growl, your back starting to arch. “They’ve been here the whole time… I can feel it, but I can’t tell where.”
“Very good,” came a disembodied voice. It sounded layered and distorted, as if speaking with the voice of every villain they had brought forth with the Tri Rod. “At least becoming a dragon has taught you to pay attention.”
“Show yourself!” Link shouted.
The voice ignored him. “Where did you take Ganondorf? I figured you’d want to fight him.”
“There is no Ganondorf!” you shouted. “He’s a fake, just like the others.”
“Actually,” a voice said, stabilizing as one voice, “I prefer the term, Echoes. That was what our dear ancestor called them after all.” Zelda stepped out from behind the thrones, holding the Tri Rod.
“Z-Zelda?” Link asked. “What… what is this?”
“So, you did have the Tri Rod.” You glared at her across the throne room. “Veran, Zant, Yuga, Malladus, all of them Echoes too. I should have known the Tri Rod would work best in the hands of someone descended from its original wielder.”
“I suppose if anyone would’ve figured it out, it would be you.” Zelda’s voice dripped with contempt.
“I… I don’t understand,” Link said.
“Of course, you don’t,” Zelda said. “You’re an idiot. You’re lucky your precious Navi was here to keep an eye on you since you ran off. You were supposed to stay with me!” Link glared at her. “It was going to be such a perfect fairy tale. A monster, a princess, and a hero and the return of a glorious kingdom… and the power to make things perfect forever. It would have been so much easier if our stupid ancestor didn’t banish the Triforce from this realm in the first place, but a girl learns to make do.”
You felt like you were going to be sick. “You want the Triforce just to live out your princess fantasy?!”
“Oh please, it’s more than a fantasy. You and I both know our family was meant to rule this land. Look around you! It’s not like anyone could stop me. Imagine if someone else attacked, these idiots wouldn’t know what to do. It’s just a mercy to save these people from themselves. We’ll reset the clock and bring Hyrule back to a better time. My plan was perfect… if it wasn’t for you two. Link, you’re a hero, you’re supposed to slay the monsters.”
You’d never seen Link look so disgusted, even when under Yuga’s spell. “You turned Navi into a dragon so I would kill him?”
Zelda shrugged. “I needed just the right person to play the part. Someone who’s heart was filled with enough jealousy and envy, but also the innate power of the royal family would create a terrible monster. Then, I could make sure everyone turned their attention to that monster, blame it for everything. Strange things happening? Legends coming true? Of course, the idiots out there would pick the monster. Instant angry mob and a perfect distraction while I continued my work,” she said but her smile turned sour. “But Veran had to miss, and you got lucky getting help to slow the curse.”
“Jealousy and envy… of what?” Link asked, turning towards you.
You tightened up, but you didn’t want any more secrets. “Of you,” you said quietly. “I thought you and Zelda were dating… and I wanted you to be my boyfriend instead.” Any doubt instantly washed away and Link’s eyes sparkled.
Zelda rolled her eyes. “You two are disgusting. But I figured I should be flexible and even if you were working with Link, I could use you to find the Light Force. So I waited. I knew you’d gather the three sanctions from the Goddesses. Unlocking the Temple of Time was supposed to open the way to the Sacred Realm and the Triforce or at least the Light Force! Yet, all it unlocked was a stupid sword!” She kicked over a pot. “So I figured the real entrance must be hidden under Snowpeak, so I sent an Echo to invade it. But it wasn’t there either. So where is it?!” She roared. “Where is the Light Force that I rightfully deserve?!”
“You want the power of Hylia…” you muttered, thinking all the way back to what Maple had told you when you first transformed. “But you didn’t get it. The Royal Bloodline doesn’t go through you, it goes through me. That’s why you made sure I got transformed, isn’t it? Because I wasn’t just a threat to you and Link, but to your plan to get power.”
“Like I said,” Zelda smirked, “I needed just the right person to play the part.”
“Every bit of opposition out of the way, huh?” You said, as another realization hit. “Is that why you also made sure Link’s skills were slipping? Sabotaging his studies and his training? You didn’t want him to be anything more than a toy, and someone you could toss aside if they got too dangerous.”
“What?” Link gasped. He looked up at Zelda in shock; your cousin merely glared.
“There’s one more thing,” you said, as everything was coming together for you. “What I don’t understand is how you were able to make so many Echoes at once. All of the stories mention how that Zelda could only summon a few at a time.”
“Maybe I’m just more gifted,” Zelda preened.
“Or you’re getting help.” Zelda flinched, if for a second. You allowed yourself a moment of smug pride before focusing. “Zelda… you don’t have to do this. You can give this up. You can still break free.”
She looked at you with venom. “No! I’m not stopping now. Not after you got your hands all over my boyfriend.”
“I am not your boyfriend, and I never have been,” Link said in a low warning voice.
“No, because you were too busy making googly eyes at him. Why Link? What does my stupid cousin have that I don’t? I’m far prettier, more popular, richer. You could’ve had everything!”
“But you don’t love me and – wait.” Link froze as the final piece of the puzzle slid into place. “C-cousin…? Zelda only has…” Link paled. He spun towards you, frantic. His hand shook as he reached out to you. “…[Y/n]?”
You took his hand, gently running your thumb over his knuckles. You gave him a weak smile. “Hey.”
“N-Navi… you’re… you’re [Y/n]!”
“Always have been. I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you.”
“All this time…?” Link murmured, hands shaking.
“It hardly matters,” Zelda said. Her words were like a bucket of ice, and the two of you glared at her. “All of this is going to be gone soon. So what if the Light Force wasn’t in the temples or the mansion or even here at the castle? I’ll just have my monsters tear through every last bit of the country until I find it. I’m going to wipe Hyrule clean and then when the world is still, I know I’ll find it.”
“You’re crazy if you think we’ll let that happen,” you said, as Link slowly slipped from your hands.
“As if I need to ask permission. I’m the one with the Tri Rod. I don’t care how many Sages you know or what little toys you have to fight my soldiers with. I can always make more, I can always curse more people. And each one pushes you closer to losing yourself, so all I have to do is wait. I have nothing but time, and when you finally crack, I – urgk?!” Zelda looked down in horror to see the Master Sword through her chest.
“How dare you,” Link said in a low growl, slowly growing louder. “You… you’re responsible for all of this… all because you were jealous?! All because you wanted a kingdom that’s been long dead?! How dare you do this to him!” With a roar, Link ripped the Master Sword free and slashed it across her throat.
Zelda’s body fell limp to the ground, only to disappear a moment later. “An Echo?” You said. “No, no, no, we have to find the real one! If we don’t stop her, she’s going to basically nuke Hyrule! She’s got to be around here somewhere...”
Link just stared at the spot where Zelda’s Echo once stood. “I… I can’t believe she did all of that to you.”
You stopped and turned to Link. “To me? What about to you? She was horrible to you.”
“She was, but you’re her family. And what about your dad? Sure, she didn’t do it directly, but she caused him to be transformed too.”
You sighed. “I know, and I’m sure it’s gonna take me a long time to truly understand why, but we’ve got bigger problems right now. We need to stop her, and I know someone’s helping her that’s way more powerful than I originally thought. If we don’t stop them now, Hyrule might be just… gone. And with a rogue Goddess running around, the rest of the world won’t stand much of a chance.”
“You’re right, we’ll find her,” Link said, but you could tell something was still on his mind. “Um… first though. Navi, I mean, [Y/n], you were in love me?”
You blinked and after a beat, nearly shouted, “Link, there’s no ‘were’ about it. I love you! I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Why would you ask?”
Suddenly, you found yourself trapped against the wall between Link’s arms. There was a rather unique fire in his eyes, one that looked less like Link’s flirting but soft puppy eyes and more like being stalked by a wolf. “You’re telling me I could’ve asked you out before all this, and I could’ve been dating you this whole time?!”
“I… maybe,” you said softly. “Though I don’t think we would’ve been ready for it until now. I… I didn’t think you really noticed me back then. And I’ll be honest… I kinda just worshipped you blindly before.”
“Fuck that,” Link said, “We would’ve figured it out.” He kissed you, almost bruising your lips with the forcefulness of his passion. Yet, as he kissed you over and over, deepening it each time, you started to feel teardrops on your cheek.
You gently broke the kiss. “Link, what’s wrong?” you asked as you stroked his hair.
“You’re here,” His voice cracked. “You’ve been here the whole time. You’re… you’re here…”
You pulled him closer, holding him against you. “I’m sorry Link, I wanted to tell you so badly.”
“I… I’m gonna fix this. I promise, I’ll get you back to normal.”
“I know, you’ve said that since the beginning,” you said with a toothy smile. “Just wish I could have told you when this was done.”
“Doesn’t matter to me,” Link said. “I told you I love you no matter who you are.”
“I love you too, Link,” you said. You wanted to stay there just a little longer, but a glint over Link’s shoulder caught your eye. You quickly wrapped your wings around him and dodged as a blast of magic nearly hit you both. “Really? Not even a moment?”
“Why would I?” Zelda said with a glare. “Oh well, I’ll just make myself a new Link, an Echo who isn’t going to go running off with my cousin. As for you two…” she said, creating a new Echo of Veran. “Can’t have you running off and getting in my way. So I’d appreciate it if you two kill each other now, okay?” You prepared to run, when suddenly you were hit in the back with a blast of magic. The Zelda and Veran before you disappeared, with two more, the real ones, behind you. Suddenly, your vision began to swim, releasing Link moments before you fell to your knees.
“[Y/n]!!” Link cried.
Acid and flames burned in your throat. Your bandages fried under the onslaught of magic. Your horns grew and grew, growing barbs like thorns and wrapping around your head, some curling back and some curling forward in a terrible demonic bramble. Your body cracked and shifted as you were forced to change. You could feel the dragon inside you screaming as well as it was forced out. Soon, there was nothing left, your clothes shredded and your body replaced by a dragon with black and gold scales. King Argarok had arrived.
And yet…
“Why isn’t he moving?” Zelda asked. “He should be a bloodthirsty monster!”
“[Y/n]?” Link asked, tentatively walking forward. “C’mon, you know it’s me, right?”
King Argarok remained completely still and silent.
==============================
A/n: So, Zelda’s been behind it all the whole time… but is she alone? Congrats to everyone who called it, I figured everyone was going to lock in their answers after Chapter 23 when I tipped my hand on the Echoes, but a lot of you were thinking it long in advance. I didn’t want Zelda to be too sympathetic because I didn’t want the twist to come out of nowhere, though if I were to rewrite this from the start, I might make it a little less clear.
Onto the subject of Story 4… upon tallying the votes across the three places I post, we have a winner! Interestingly, we actually had an upset close to the end. Congratulations to Chat Noir/Adrien Agreste! We are finishing Monochrome everyone! Second place goes to Sidon, getting very, very close. Third place to Adaman, better luck next time. Thank you to everyone who voted! Hope you’re all excited as I am to dive into this story in the fall. If your preferred story didn’t get picked, please don’t worry. Every story idea that makes it to the poll is one I believe in and would like to try writing someday. So, it might not be next, but you may see it in the future.
Next time… something’s not quite right…
Vaguest statement possible for the next chapter, I know.
“This is not what I had in mind when you said we need to catch a train, Purah!” You shouted over the noise. The single car commuter train Purah acquired clattered downhill, careening towards the Breach of Demise, much too fast.
“That makes two of us!” Professor Komadoh shouted from the front. “Now quiet so I can concentrate! The Dominion Rod wasn’t made for this!” She focused, trying to wrest back some control as the green glow from the rod flickered over the train’s control stand.
Purah simply laughed from her seat beside a resolute Guardian. “Oh come on, you guys are making a big deal out of nothing! And we can’t catch a Demon Train without a little bait, right?”
“I’m pretty sure this isn’t little!” Ralon said as he braced himself between the wall and Aryll.
Aryll was surprisingly in agreement. “Hey any other day I’d love this, but how about not on the sharpest cliffs and turns in the country?!”
The train suddenly rode up on one side as it took a sharp turn, before slamming back down. “Thank Hylia, we’re the only ones out here,” Link muttered as he did his best to lock you safely into the seat with his arm. You had your tail wrapped around him too.
“Linky and Ralon, you have your upgrades right?” Purah asked. She had worked tirelessly through the night before – though perhaps sleep wasn’t as important when you were part computer.
“Oh yeah,” Link said with a grin. “These new bomb arrows were perfect!”
Ralon was less enthusiastic. “A-are you sure these are safe?”
“You won’t be able to break through a metal engine with just normal arrows,” you said. “You’ll do fine, Ralon.”
Ralon blushed. “Um, okay. I’ll do my best!”
Meanwhile, you pulled down your mask to give Corbus and Avil as cheerful a smile as you could with your sharpened teeth. Corbus was absolutely doing his best not to lose it. “Hey Corbus, you’re gonna do great too! Just think of it like a game.”
“Yeah this isn’t TriFighters when it’s a giant train!” Corbus yelped.
“Aww c’mon,” Avil said. “Think of it like that time you pulled an all-nighter gaming marathon right before that test and you still aced it. You remember too, righ…” Avil’s voice trailed off as he caught himself and clenched his jaw. He cleared his throat. “I mean, it was pretty crazy. Don’t stress, you’ve got this.”
As Corbus spluttered a response, your smile turned wry, remembering how you finished your conversation with them the previous night.
==============================
“Do you want us to tell the others?” Avil asked.
“Not yet,” you said. “I… I’m still worried about if there’s a traitor around. I don’t want people to know that you know.” You sighed. “That means Link too.”
“I’m fairly sure Link is in danger by the nature of being Link,” Corbus said dryly.
“I know, but I don’t want him or you two to be in the crosshairs more than you already are.” You paused, picking at your bandages. Your eyes lingered on one of the many historic artifacts decorating Professor Komadoh’s house, this one with the emblem of the Royal Family: the winged Triforce. “I have a guess as to who the mastermind really is, and I have a feeling I’m right. I just don’t want to believe it. And if it is… they won’t hesitate to kill you to stay in the shadows until the time is right.” You squeezed your arm. “If my guess is right, they need me alive for now. I don’t know if that extends to the rest of you. They have to think that we’re clueless for now, if for anything to keep everyone alive. Please… let’s keep it secret just a little longer.”
==============================
As the train screeched downhill, you heard the bellow of a deep whistle. “Incoming!” Avil shouted. Out the rear cab, you could see a plume of smoke approaching fast.
“Hang on!” Purah shouted. She typed on her laptop, opening a track diagram. Suddenly the train screamed over a switch. The whistle behind you bellowed again, this time louder. The terrifying face of Malladus was approaching fast. Purah typed again and the Demon Train began to overtake you on a parallel track. The cannons along the boiler turned, slowly taking aim. “Okay, places everyone!”
Avil and Aryll pried open the doors on the right side, and cold air blasted everyone inside. Link and the Guardian took arms at one door while Corbus and Ralon stood by the other. You meanwhile unfurled your wings and jumped out the door, rising on the blast of air upwards over Malladus. You darted over the locomotive, spitting fire. Of course, fire did not do much to a machine, but it did draw his attention.
“Fire!” Purah shouted and a hail of explosions appeared below you. Corbus’s ice magic coated the hot metal, almost instantly snapping crank pins and splitting some of the metal casing. Malladus cried out as you darted in, blowing flames back at the cracked pieces. The locomotive hissed, immediately braking and putting distance between it and your friends.
“Coward!” Purah shouted after it. Malladus’ whistle roared again as the train suddenly levitated off of the tracks and onto the same track as their train. Purah blanched as your train sped up. “Well that’s not fair… Okay team, onto part two. Ready to be a hero, Corbus?” Corbus swallowed hard.
The battered train finally came to a brief stop in a canyon near a set of switches. “A-are you sure about this?!” Corbus stammered, standing in the middle of tracks.
“Trust me,” Purah said. “You’re gonna do great! The rest of us will get set up. Just remember, wait until he’s speeding towards you so he springs the trap instead of running away.”
You landed beside Link, but one look at Corbus was all you needed. “Link, go on ahead, I’m gonna help Corbus.” When Link started to protest, you added, “I can fly him to safety if things go wrong.”
“Promise to be safe?”
“Of course,” you said, giving him a quick hug. You then ran to Corbus’ side. “Alright big guy, you’ve got this.”
“Navi?!” Corbus yelped. He then dropped his voice low. “[Y/n], what are you doing?!”
“Not leaving you alone.”
“Me neither,” Avil said, taking his other side. Just then the rails began to vibrate, a low ringing starting to fill the air. You could hear the powerful bellow of a smokestack and pistons approaching.
“Avil,” you gasped, “you… I can’t carry both of you.”
“You won’t need to, Corbus is gonna get him.”
“I-I am?”
“YES!” You and Avil shouted. The rails were now screaming and a demonic whistle echoed around the corner. “NOW!”
“AAAHHH!” Corbus swung his Ice Rod, freezing the rails and building a growing ice block, locking the points. Malladus thundered forward and slammed into the ice block at the same time he hit the switch. The Demon Train lurched into the air with a screech of metal, before falling to the side like a breaching whale. Corbus flipped the Ice Rod around and blasted the locomotive’s underside, freezing the wheels but also icing over the infernal firebox. Metal creaked and hissed as it rapidly cooled. Steam poured out of the rupturing metal sheets.
“MOVE!” You shouted, shoving your friends to the side as the Demon Train began to creak, steam shooting everywhere. With a terrible groan, the metal screeched and tore. You and Corbus covered Avil as the boiler exploded.
Everything fell perfectly silent. Then, the creaking metal remains began to move. Bit by bit they melded together rising and transfiguring into flesh. Where the hulk of a locomotive once lay, was now replaced by a towering demon. “Oh… forgot about that detail,” you muttered.
“Stand back and let me show you how its done!” Aryll shouted, running up from her cover down the canyon. She charged in, baiting Malladus’ to slam his fist into the canyon wall.
“Aryll, wait!” Link shouted, but there was no stopping her.
As Malladus tried to pull his fist free, Aryll wound up a punch, her Golden Gauntlets shining in the sun. She landed an uppercut straight into the demon’s gut, sending it upwards. He landed with a small tremor. Aryll grabbed his arm, bending it back and sending the demon into howls of pain. “Hey Link, you gonna make me do all the work here?”
“Crazy sister,” Link muttered, jumping in with the Master Sword and piercing the demon’s chest. Cracks of light erupted across Malladus’ body, as the demon Echo was sent back to the void.
“No darkness…” You muttered looking around. “The Master Sword just… obliterated it.”
“See, that’s how it’s done!” Aryll cheered, throwing an arm around her brother.
“You’re insane,” Link muttered. “At least you didn’t throw my boyfriend this time.”
“Thought about it,” Aryll snickered.
Corbus sighed. “Never again…”
“Aww, you did great!” You said.
“Yeah! That’s one more general down, getting back to Castle City’s a piece of cake!” Avil laughed.
==============================
Avil may have been partly right. Getting to Castle City wasn’t so bad, but the University was not possible. A terrible sludge seemed to drip down the streets from the University. Monsters rose from the goop, at first, lumbering and formless. Yet, as they roamed the streets they formed into terrible beasts from ancient nightmares.
The Guardian immediately put up an arm to keep anyone from getting too close. That ooze looks like it might be Malice or Gloom. Whatever you do, don’t touch it. It will slowly drain your life.
“How do we get rid of it?” Corbus asked.
The Guardian’s eyes flashed as he scanned the area. I’m afraid there’s no eyes for us to shoot… that’s what usually works. Might be Gloom in that case, stay as far as you can.
“And the monsters?” Link said, drawing the Master Sword.
You have to ask? The Guardian seemed to laugh, producing his own sword. Contain what we can to help the people. Let’s see if you can keep up, new hero.
“You’re on!”
As Link and The Guardian darted off to fight, Purah just shook her head. “Some things never change. Need to learn to work smarter, not harder.” She snapped her fingers and her drones formed six holograms of Sheikah warriors. She strapped on her goggles and sent her warriors out, slashing through the weaker monsters and clearing a path forward.
The battle soon had your team separated around you. You and Avil were driven towards the main square, surrounded on all sides, but managing well. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a towering Gerudo man and his partner helping to guide others to safety in the station underground. A Gleeok lumbered towards them. “Avil!”
“Gotcha, give me a boost!” You grabbed him under his arms and took flight, dropping him beside the dragon while you shot up and blasted fire at one of the heads. “I’ve got it Navi, you stop the others!”
“Right!” You said, shooting off to fight some of the other encroaching monsters, but you couldn’t help but look back at Avil. He made the fight look effortless, slashing his blades with precise, powerful strikes.
You torched a Manhandla as Avil struck at the beast’s necks. As a head descended, the Gerudo man hurled a concrete chunk towards it, stunning it just long enough for Avil to strike the Gleeok down.
“Not bad kid,” the Gerudo man said with a smirk. “You lookin’ for a job? Can bring your dragon friend too.”
His partner rolled his eyes. “Not now! We need to cover the other exits!”
The Gerudo man nodded. He patted Avil’s shoulder. “Right, go. A warrior’s destiny awaits you!” His eyes then fell on you. He just shook his head with a laugh, before running off with his partner to fight back the monsters.
“Warrior’s destiny, huh?” Avil grinned. “Sounds cool.” He then ran back into the fray with you, slowly fighting your way closer.
You and Avil eventually separated to take down twin Aquamentus – which were certainly easier than a Gleeok. You had just finished showing one who was the superior dragon when a giant eye floated towards you, tentacles trailing behind it.
“Navi, look out!” Link ran up and fired his bomb arrows at it but to no luck. “I don’t get it, these should tear through it?”
You were about to explain when Ralon ran up, holstering his crossbow. “Don’t worry Navi, I know this one! Digdogger right?” Ralon put a hand to his chest as he began to sing a scale, slowly working higher and higher and higher. The Digdogger trembled before bursting into two smaller monsters and falling to the ground. Ralon then whipped out his crossbow and fired two bomb arrows, dispatching the weakened monsters. “How was that? I did my research on monsters while you were at Snowpeak!”
“That was perfect,” you replied, making Ralon beam.
“Pretty good,” Link admitted, but he shot an approaching Dodongo with a bomb arrow, right down its mouth. “Just don’t let down your guard, okay?”
Ralon watched Link with big eyes. “Um… yeah, thanks.” He then hurried to fight more monsters, though you thought you heard him mention something about having two hands.
As the battle raged on, you and Link were separated again, this time with you forced up against the sludge. The monsters were seemingly endless. In frustration, you spat fire at the sludge, which had no effect. “As long as that goop stays here, we’re stuck,” you grumbled. “Fire doesn’t work, and no one can touch it… how do we get rid of it?”
There was a whoosh and then a giggle beside you. “Need some help, Mr. Dragon?”
There was another giggle on your other side. “Silly Mr. Dragon, no fair leaving us out!”
“Koume! Kotake!” You exclaimed. The twins floated beside you on brooms. Maple wasn’t far behind, once again wearing her long black dress, complete with pointy hat.
“That miasma needs to be cleared with magic. Stand back,” Maple said. She raised her hand and the air grew stale. The twins ducked under your wings as a terrible burnt smell filled your nose. “ETHER!” Bolts of lightning shot down from the heavens, frying the rest of the monsters. The sludge receded, clearing your path forward.
“Holy…” you whispered.
“In a manner of speaking,” she wheezed before starting to wobble. Koume and Kotake dashed out to help her. Maple leaned heavily on the twins. “It’s… been a while since I’ve needed to use a big spell like that…”
“Granny…” Koume and Kotake whispered.
“Are you alright? Do you need a potion?”
“Don’t worry about me,” she said through huffs. “Get to the University and strike now before they rally their forces again! We’ll join you once I catch my breath.”
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You ran with Link and the Sages up the path to the University. Yet, before you could cross the main gates, the University was suddenly sealed in a topaz crystal etched with strange symbols you had only seen a few times in the Archives before. The crystal swirled with shadows and light, the silhouette of the castle being the only thing you could see. “I think it’s safe to say we’re expected. What even is this?” you muttered. You reached forward and a sharp shock hit your fingers, forcing your claws to emerge. “Ouch!”
Link placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “Okay, we can’t go this way. We’ll find another way around.”
“It’s a crystal, I doubt there’s another way around.” Professor Komadoh examined the symbols. “As I suspected, this is Ancient Twilit writing. Zant’s doing, no doubt. It’s a magic barrier, but we should be able to cross… in theory.”
“What do you mean?” Link asked.
Professor Komadoh shook her head. “Even if we get inside, most likely we’ll run into Twilight on the other side. Even as Sages, I think we would end up fading into shades. You might be able to resist it, Link, but I’m not sure what it would do to Navi.”
You weren’t to thrilled with the idea either. Then, the Guardian spoke up. What if someone who isn’t living enters?
Everyone turned to Professor Komadoh. “I… I’m not sure. I imagine they would be fine. But if your technology uses light magic, it could be corrupted.”
The Guardian crossed his arms. “Give me a sec. Let’s not send you in until we know what we’re looking for, just in case,” Purah said, as she launched a spare drone with a gold eye emblem. It buzzed, slowly passing through the barrier. A holographic screen appeared before her, showing the live video feed. “Looking pretty normal for now.”
Aryll leaned in. “Hey wait a sec, what’s that?” The drone hovered, zooming in. “Is that a rabbit?”
“It’s a Blupee!” You and Link shouted together.
“Huh, been a while since I’ve seen those,” Purah said. The drone lowered and followed the Blupee around the courtyards and deeper into the University. Soon, it came to a spot where the barrier ended, just before the entrance to the cafeteria. “The barrier doesn’t extend all the way… interesting.”
“No, something’s pushing it back,” Aryll said. “Look!”
“A… bulb?” Avil asked.
“A Great Fairy!” Purah exclaimed.
“It’s Venus!” You said.
“Great Fairy Queen,” Link explained to the others. “How’d she get down there?”
“No idea, but her magic ought to be enough to shatter this crystal, but we need to get her out.”
Professor Komadoh stepped forward. “Leave that to me.” She twirled the Dominion Rod in her hand, flinging an orb at the statue of Zelda the Luminary. Suddenly the statue’s eyes glowed green as the former Princess came to life, her lantern lighting her way through the Twilight. Small monsters like Octoroks and Bokoblins started to emerge from the darkness, only to be stomped by the roaming statue. Professor Komadoh carefully guided the stone Zelda back towards the bulb, before carrying it back to you, setting it down just outside the barrier.
You and Link ran to the bulb, pressing your hands against the cool leaves. “Venus? Are you okay? Can you hear us?” you asked.
Suddenly, the bulb trembled, shooting fireworks of magic high into the sky. The sparkling ashes turned into multicolored fairies flitting here and there. With a burst, the bulb bloomed outwards, unfolding and refolding back into a familiar tight green cocktail dress. The Fairy Queen had returned, towering over all of you. “Hellooooo darlings!” The fairies applauded around her. “Oh, thank you, thank you, you’re too kind.”
“E-excuse me, your majesty?” Link began. “We, uh…”
“Well if it isn’t my favorite boys! And you’ve brought so many cute little friends!” Venus crooned, bending down with a dazzling smile. “Thank you for rescuing me, I suppose I got a little too excited when Maple said the time was coming to strike. Snuck in and got squished in place by that stupid barrier. Can’t use my magic like that… so rude to do that to a lady.”
“So, you can shatter this?” Link asked.
Venus looked back at the barrier as her Blupee crawled up onto her shoulder. “Now that I’m out of my bulb, absolutely. And for you, hero boy, I’d do it for free.” She smoothed her dress and cracked her knuckles. Then, with all the grace of a prized boxer, she punched, shattering the crystal.
“I like her,” Aryll said.
“Oh, I love me too darling,” Venus laughed. “Onward!”
“Wait, you’re coming with us?” You asked.
“Of course?” She asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It gets sooo boring out in Akkala. Let a girl have some fun!”
“In that case, let’s split up and see if we can find Zant,” you said. “Corbus, Ralon and Aryll, check the science wing. Avil, Professor Komadoh, Purah, and Grandpa, check the cafeteria and humanities wing. And-”
“Link and Navi will check the grounds with me,” Venus said with a wink towards you. “I’ll take the north and Link and Navi will check the south.”
“Uh… yeah! That!” You said. “Be safe everyone! We don’t know what other tricks they might have for us.”
==============================
Under the watchful gaze of the Hero of Time’s statue, you found your target. Zant stood solemnly in the middle of the Knight Games field. As you and Link approached, he tilted his head back. “Ahhh… so you finally arrive. I was looking forward to seeing you both again.”
“So, are you just like Impa and Veran?” Link asked. “There never was an Owlan at our school?”
Zant turned to face the two of you, seemingly watching you through the lifeless eyes on his helm. “Never. Our Master Ganondorf created us because we would be the perfect agents of chaos within his plan. He picked us to be the perfect copies and even crafted fake identities off of the best candidates in the Archives. Who better to pull at the swordsman’s strings than his supposed coach?”
“Good, I’m looking forward to kicking your ass then,” Link growled, his hand resting on the Master Sword’s hilt.
You glared at Zant. “Cut the crap. The real Zant hated Ganondorf in the end. You might be a copy, but if you’re telling the truth, you’re a pretty poor copy.”
Zant suddenly screeched, bending in a full back bridge before springing in a backwards somersault. “FINE! Ruin my fun! I don’t know why I even pretend. But it doesn’t matter because soon you’ll all be dead, dead, dead, dead, DEAD!” Zant suddenly launched forward, cackling gleefully, straight towards you.
Link pushed you back, hitting Zant with a mortal draw and knocking the Twilight Usurper back. “Oh, lucky shot! You think you can take me down? I’ve been training you! I know exactly what you’re going to- wait, what’s that?”
Zant was knocked back by an explosion as Link fired a bomb arrow at him. Link didn’t give him a chance before charging in furiously, striking him with a spin attack. As Zant tried to hop away and escape, Link swung the Master Sword, sending a beam of energy after him. Link charged in again, striking Zant and trapping him against the bleachers. “You… I get it now,” Link said. “I shouldn’t have listened to you. All that hype you kept trying to mess with my head. And now, you’ve been doing all of this, all to destroy everyone around us? No more!”
Zant tried to jump back but was sniped out of the air by Link’s bomb arrow. Link charged in as Zant darted here and there across the field, slowly getting farther from you. Link sent another beam of energy at the general, knocking him down. “Change Navi back!” Link growled. He leapt up for a killing blow, but Zant teleported away just in time.
“Back? Oh no, not when we’re so close,” Zant huffed, looking worse for wear. “In fact, why wait?”
Warning bells were going off in your head. Zant was trying to separate you two. “Link, get back!”
“I’m sure we could speed things up if I simply enhance Navi’s curse. Let us bring about the end!” Zant cackled as he raised his arms, a large shadowy ball forming above him, crackling with magic. He flung the curse towards you.
“No!” Link shouted. He hurled his Mirror Shield across the field, knocking the curse away from you… but towards him. Link’s body skidded on the grass, crackling with dark energy.
“Link!”
“Hehehe… well it may not have been my target, but I’ll take it!” Zant cackled as he disappeared.
You wanted to pursue him, but you were cut off by an anguished shout. Link screamed as his face contorted, slowly pushing out into a muzzle. He snarled as his teeth grew into fangs, and fur began to coat his body. You wrapped a wing over him. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay, just focus on breathing, count your breaths.”
Link snarled as his bones snapped and shifted. His eyes were wild as he suddenly lunged forward, biting your arm. Your scales were luckily stronger than his new fangs, but his jaw was locked around you. Instead, you simply scratched behind his new fluffy ears. As you did, you took a deep breath, pressing your claws against his head as gently as you could. Little by little, the wisps of darkness crawled up your arm.
“Link, stay with me here, it’s okay…” You embraced him, his snarls slowly dropping into whimpers. The dark fur was slowly replaced by blond hair as the curse reversed. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Soon, Link’s body rested against you, as he took a few shuddering breaths.
“Dammit… I… I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m pretty sure you saved my life.”
“But I hurt you! … I bit you.”
You stifled a laugh. “Link, your teeth were like a puppy with my scales.”
“Still,” Link muttered.
“Link,” you soothed, tilting his head up towards yours. “Plenty of heroes have been affected by curses and darkness like you, nothing to be ashamed about. I mean, there was one hero who even became a pink bunny when he went to the Dark World.”
“I guess it’s better than a pink bunny,” Link muttered as he sat up. Meanwhile, something had jogged your memory. The hero in question needed the Magic Mirror to maintain his form, the same one you once had. If it had helped him to maintain his form, could the Mirror have affected your curse?
You wanted to stroke his hair a little longer, but suddenly you were struck with a terrible migraine. Crying out in pain, you clutched your head as two long black horns emerged, curling from the front around the side of your head and then up, like a terrible crown.
“Navi!” Link shouted. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah… just the usual from absorbing another curse.”
“Zant got what he wanted. The curse is speeding up.” Link’s shoulders slumped. “I’m not sure how much more you can take…”
Neither were you, as you leaned against him. “Then we can’t wait. We need to finish this.” You stood, fingers interlacing naturally with Link’s… but he didn’t walk with you. “Link?”
“Navi, I don’t want you to get hurt any more… I…” He wiped his eyes. “Navi, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
You took his hands. “Link, we said we were the hero together right? That comes with everything, the good and the bad. Like it or not, I’m the Sage of Light and you’re the Master Sword’s chosen one. It’s too late to back out now.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But… you shouldn’t have to fight. It’s not fair. You should be safe somewhere, far away, never having to worry about this.”
You sighed softly with a wry grin. “Is this because of the prince thing again?”
Link looked into your eyes with absolute sincerity. “I don’t care about if you’re a prince or not. I’d be your knight regardless. You don’t need a fancy title or magic powers to be special to me.”
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A/n: The fact my notes for this chapter literally say “Link dogwalks Zant”.
A bit of a funny side note… for some reason, this story has been a magnet for AI bots leaving a variety of comments from stupid to troubling. They all have the same structure, same passive cadence, it’s very obvious. However, it’s hilarious because of what some suggest. For instance, one called me a bad writer because I had clearly never been to the locations I wrote about in real life. Which, yeah, I haven’t been to places like Hyrule in real life; it’s a little hard to actually. Thank goodness for comment moderation.
Shadows of Hyrule - Ch 24: The Power of [Science]!
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Day 24 – Science and Tech
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The machinery hummed around you as Purah led you into her lab. Her firefly drones fluttered around her, adjusting the realistic hologram as she walked. “I was getting worried you two would never get here. You sure made quite the light show over at the Temple of Time.”
“I-I-I’m sorry,” you said, “but you said your name was Purah. Like… the famous inventor who went missing, Purah?”
“You got it!” She said, spinning on her heel with a snap of her fingers. “Chief Royal Scientist Emeritus of the Kingdom of Hyrule.”
“That’s not possible, that’d make you like… a thousand years old?”
“1,132 years old to be precise, and still young!” She winked. “Besides, this is more of an uploaded consciousness rather than my actual body. Lemme tell you, Zonai tech catapulted my research ahead by centuries! Good thing too. His Majesty wanted someone to set stuff up in case there was another hero. Sure, we all figured since Ganon-dick was dead, that’d be the end of it, but you can’t be too careful! And besides, having a secret strike force in case of emergencies can be fun. It is what we Sheikah do best after all.”
You then caught a glimpse of a large familiar quadcopter on a charging stand. “You’re the one who’s been helping us with gear!”
“Exactly!” Purah said. “I built this upgraded version of myself to make sure I’d be around myself to help when Hyrule’s in trouble again. Kinda happens a lot around here, you gotta admit.” She then muttered, “Besides, if Mineru could figure out how to hang around for thousands of years, of course I can.”
“All this just to help us?”
“Well that, and this. Check it!” She said, holding up her hand. A single triangle with three circles on each side appeared on her hand. “Sage of Change, appointed by the kings themselves.” At your less than surprised expression she groaned and rolled her eyes. “Okay yes, I know it’s not as impressive when you’re a hologram.”
“Actually, kinda figured it makes sense,” you said. “Sage of Change and adapting with modern tech? Fits you pretty well. Also, you’re the last one we’ve been looking for.”
“Oh… well in that case, I am happy to be of service.”
“Thank you for all the gear, but,” Link started but looked a bit somber, “weren’t you lonely?”
Purah shrugged. “A bit, but you sure can’t beat a perfectly clean lab space and no distractions! And besides, more recently, I definitely get past the loneliness by pwning noobs.” She snapped her fingers, her online video game library appeared on one of the many computer screens around you, filled with enough titles to make it worthy of the Archives. “Anyway, I’ve been busy designing new gear, upgrading things around the mansion, conducting experiments of questionable legality, fine-tuning my lovely little drones…”
“So, you did upgrade the ligh- wait, what was that one?” You asked.
“Fine-tuning my drones?”
“Not what I meant.”
“You really are his descendant,” Purah laughed. “Don’t worry about it. But, yes, I’ve used my little drone spies to take a look at some of the handy new tech that’s out there, and I make my own little adjustments and prototype my own versions, like the lights in the armory.”
“Did you pick up painting too?”
“Thought about it but no. The Champion King really fell in love with painting later in life; he painted nearly every painting in the mansion himself, most of them based on adventures or places he’d go. Always liked them more than pictographs.” She then clapped her hands together – though it felt off without her hologram making the noise to go with it. “Now, you’re not here for paintings. You’re here because we’ve got a job to do and a kingdom to save. Or, err, democratic republic.”
“Yeah,” Link said. “I don’t know if it really is Ganondorf or not, but we need the best gear you can make to take him down.”
“Ganondorf, hah!” Purah snorted. “That demon bastard’s dead, we made sure of that back in the day.”
You and Link shared a look. “But how do you know?” you asked.
“Because I literally saw him explode like an atom bomb.” Both you and Link gaped at her. “Can’t get much dead-er than that.”
“Good point,” Link muttered. “So… this Ganondorf?”
“Is a fake, most likely an Echo like you guys are thinking,” Purah finished. She then raised an eyebrow at your expression. “Oh come on, you were talking in a place you knew I had full control over. You didn’t actually think I wasn’t gonna listen in, right?” Both you and Link flustered. “You two are cute together by the way, reminds me of old times. And you’re a smart kid, Navi, put that together pretty quick.”
“Okay, then who is it? Any ideas?” You asked.
“That’s the trick, I’m not sure. Back when Ganondorf was destroyed, the Curse of Demise was broken forever. No more resurrections, nothing left to keep him going. Whoever this guy is, claiming to be Ganon? Total liar.” Purah snapped her fingers and various wavelengths appeared on one of the computer screens. She pointed to the top one, which was a fairly even wavelength. “This is energy radiation from the Master Sword. Below that we have radiation from other similar magic artifacts, from the Great Fairies, and even from the Bow of Light. Notice anything?”
Link shrugged but you nodded. “The frequencies are different, but the amplitude and general wave pattern is all the same.”
“Exactly, and these are the readings I’ve gathered from the monsters you’ve been fighting, the Echoes.” New wavelengths appeared by these were erratic, completely chaotic, and didn’t even come close to the original. “It’s not like anything I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot. It’s not normal magic or tech or time travel or even divine energy!”
“Divine energy?”
She rolled her eyes. “Prime Energy if you prefer, traditionally Triforce energy, though that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. We’re getting off topic. This, whatever it is, is new to me. It’s almost inverted, whatever it is, as if it’s some kind of anti-energy. At first I figured it might be some kind of Lorulean bullshit.”
“Lorulean?” Link asked.
“Long story,” Purah sighed. “Back on topic, nothing matches up right.”
You frowned. “But the Tri Rod is a tool of the Goddesses, shouldn’t it and its Echoes match the pattern?”
“By all means, yes, but for some reason, it isn’t. It baffles me, and I don’t like not knowing…” She sighed. “I wish I had a chance to time travel, I would have more data to compare against. But no-o-o, His Majesty said that wasn’t allowed without someone to chaperone! I’m not a child! Wait, hold up,” she turned to you with a grin. “You wouldn’t have happened to find the Gate of Time, have you?”
“The Gate of Time’s real?!” Link asked excitedly. “It’s not just a story? That means we can go back in time and stop this from starting in the first place! I can keep Navi from getting cursed or [Y/n] from getting kidnapped or-”
“Absolutely not!” Purah shouted, trying to grab his shoulders but forgetting her hands were made of light. “You want a paradox? That’s how you get a paradox. I am not letting my first time through the Gate of Time get messed up to where I have to hear ‘I told you so’ from my friends for as long as time continues to exist.”
You looked at the waves, feeling more lost than before. Then, you had an idea. “Purah, can you test me?”
Purah stood bolt upright. “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”
“Could you test me? You know, examine my wavelength? Maybe that will help us figure out how to… y’know.” You motioned to yourself as the curse twisted your stomach.
“Oh, music to my ears! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear a royal willingly be a test subject?! Hold still. Also, I wanna test some other things if we have time. Like how durable are your scales? Are there limits to your acid? Your flames? What are the scales made of… because they almost look like lacquer…” Purah waved her hand and a robotic arm descended from the ceiling with a small probe. A new wavelength pattern, already labeled as Navi appeared, though it certainly didn’t make things easier.
“Wait, why does it look like that?” Link asked.
“Very interesting,” Purah murmured as she watched it closely. “Two complex waveforms superimposed…both very unstable…”
“What does that mean?” You asked, though part of you knew the answer as you felt your dragon form stir inside you. “What does it mean when they collapse?”
Purah stared at the screen. “Collapse isn’t guaranteed. There’s not a lot to say without more data over time. This could be two waveforms separating or merging…”
“Is Navi going to be okay?” Link asked.
“That depends on your definition of ‘okay’,” Purah said. “Right now, it looks like the two forms were trying to cancel each other out and are reaching a temporary equilibrium. I imagine that has something to do with your fight with the Guardian?”
You could feel the dragon curl up inside you. “You could say that. I’m confused though, I thought I was supposed to become some harbinger of evil and the end of Hyrule?”
“King Argarok,” Link added. “That’s what Phantom Ganon said and what Professor Komadoh mentioned.”
“King Argarok…” Purah muttered. “Not a name I remember, I’ll have to run some research. As for you and your other side getting cozy, I think it might be a good thing. I’ve seen a lot in my time, and sometimes the best solution to a problem is to wait and see.” She paused then frowned, “Well, wait and see unless the sky turns blood red and the king of all evil returns. What I’m more interested in is the Tri Rod. It’s one of those tools that didn’t show up in my time.”
“Navi knows all about it,” Link said.
“I wouldn’t say all about it,” you quickly added. “If I remember Dad’s notes right, the Tri Rod can only replicate things it has absorbed the essence of before. Problem is, it’s been sitting for centuries in the Archives around every artifact and historic account of Hyrule’s past for centuries.”
“Yiiikes, that would do it,” Purah muttered. “Okay, so Not-Ganondorf has access to basically all of Hyrulean history and they choose to summon a handful of generals, slowly turn the people into monsters, and create chaos. Why?”
“To become a god,” Link said. Purah wheeled around and stared at him. “What? It’s what they said.”
Her eyes flicked between you and him. “Explain.”
“Oh that’s right, your drones couldn’t follow us when they said that,” you said. “Veran said that their master wanted to create chaos to become a god, and they didn’t care if they burned Hyrule to the ground to do it. Yuga said something similar, but also said they were looking for the Light Force, the power within the royal descendants… and the Triforce.”
“We thought that was why they kidnapped Zelda at first, but now we think it might be because of the Tri Rod,” Link added.
Purah’s brow furrowed. “Searching for the Triforce,” she began slowly, “would explain a few things, but to say they’re looking for the Light Force is odd. No one’s really cared about the Light Force in forever. Even my time’s Zelda wasn’t that big on it – though to be fair that was probably that old bastard Rhoam’s fault.”
“Then what about the Triforce?” you asked.
“The Triforce is truly gone, sealed away over a thousand years ago. The Light Force is more or less just remnant energy passed down through Hylia’s bloodline. Though…” Purah tapped her lip. “If I was a betting woman, and I am, enough of the Light Force might just be enough to break into the Sacred Realm. That may be what our mastermind’s plan is. Strip Hyrule bare and collect as much magic as possible to break into the Sacred Realm.” She turned to you. “If anything, that’s the quickest way to become like a god that I can think of.”
“Then we need to hurry,” Link said. “If they’ve got everything in the Archives and they have Zelda…”
“She’ll definitely have some of the Light Force in her,” Purah said. “But then why drive away Navi, when Navi’s clearly got it as well?” She shook her head. “Questions for later. We need to get going.”
“Okay, but… how?” You asked. “It’s not like you can leave like we can. So are you jumping through the internet or something?”
A backpack filled with similar firefly drones rose from a hidden compartment. “Oh no, I’ve got something way more fun. While I keep a connection to my servers here...” Suddenly, the Guardian dropped from the ceiling again. It unfolded beside you, giving you a friendly nod. “I’m gonna hitch a ride on Mecha-Linky.”
“Mecha-Linky? You mean…”
“Well duh, didn’t the resemblance tip you off? He’s programmed to be a replica of the Champion King himself! You could call him your Grandpa!” Purah laughed, then added as a whisper, “Miiiight’ve given him a little too much knight devotion and protectiveness though.”
The Guardian looked at your Link, appraising him as he placed a hand on your shoulder. Link gulped. The Guardian then looked down at you and patted your head. I may not be your actual ancestor, but I will protect you… and I admit Link is talented with a sword and shield. He is an decent knight to protect you.
Link beamed and sandwiched you between him and the Guardian. “See, I knew we’d get along great! I can’t wait until we can spar again!”
The Guardian’s eyes suddenly flicked blue, followed by a warning chime. It separated you and Link, then its eyes flicked yellow again. I would be happy to spar you again. It replied, seemingly pleased now and possessively putting its arm around both you and Link. But do not casually touch my successor.
“Uh… Guar… Grandpa?” You hazarded to try. A happy chime came from the android at the familiarity. “Link and I are already boyfriends, please don’t go too harsh on him.”
Boyfriends? The Guardian seemed to process that for a moment. I hope he is dating you properly and not trying to-
“Stop!” You squeaked.
Purah shook her head. “Oh please, Mecha-Linky. Compared to your real counterpart, this Link is a gentleman.”
What are you trying to imply, Purah?
“Just put on the damn drone pack so I can tag along. Unless you’d like me to regale your grandson with tales of your romantic adventures with your husband.”
“NO!” Both you and the Guardian were quick to reply.
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“Okay, I’ll bite,” Aryll said, when you returned to Professor Komadoh’s house. “What the hell is that?”
Your tail twisted back and forth. “My great, great, great… screw it, my grandpa? Kinda? His clone, I guess?”
Professor Komadoh adjusted her glasses. “Great skies… I’ve never seen something so complex.”
“You didn’t forget about me did you?” Purah muttered as her drones took flight and her hologram appeared.
“And this is Purah, Chief Royal Scientist of Hyrule back in the day,” you said.
Professor Komadoh’s glasses slid off her face and clattered on the ground as she stared in shock. Corbus meanwhile looked to be on the edge of a coronary. “Wait, the Purah?!”
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you both,” Ralon said sweetly, attempting and failing to shake Purah’s hand. He moved onto the Guardian and shook his hand. “You have an exceptional grandson, one who’s saved me and taught me a lot.” Link fumed as Ralon’s head-tail wagged happily. Yet, as Ralon inched closer to you, the Guardian firmly pushed him away.
“Gotta try harder than that,” Link snickered.
Ralon, seemingly oblivious, just smiled. “I’m only expressing my gratitude. Navi has been exceptional after all, and it’s wonderful to finally meet someone from Navi’s family.” Ralon’s smile turned icy and much more toothy. “It’s only proper that to introduce myself as one of Navi’s close friends, right Link?”
“Anyway,” you said, trying to push the conversation along and ignore the sparks flying between Link and Ralon. “Purah is Sage number six. Grandpa is the extra firepower we’ll need to take out Ganondorf.”
“What, you think we can’t take him down ourselves?” Aryll asked. After a quick explanation about the Tri Rod, her tune changed. She patted the Guardian’s chest. “Yeah, nah, happy to have you here, your highness. If Ganondorf can summon an endless legion, then we’ll need all the help we can get.”
“That’s assuming Ganondorf is real,” Professor Komadoh added. “Between Purah’s research and just the general gut feeling, I’m almost certain that he’s nothing more than one of these Echoes. If that’s the case, we’ll need to bait the real mastermind out.”
“Ah yes,” Avil nodded sagely. “We need a true master ba-” Corbus quickly covered his mouth.
“That shouldn’t be too hard,” Link said. “Between all of us, we’ll be able to take them all out. Navi and I have a plan.”
“Oh good, if it was just your plan, I’d be worried,” Aryll laughed, as Link glared at her. “What’s the plan, Navi?”
“As far as we know, there’s Ganondorf, Zant, and Malladus left. We’re going to take out Zant and Malladus first. That should get Ganondorf to show up, or if we’re lucky, get the mastermind to come out of hiding to summon more monsters. Most likely, they’re hiding in the University. Once they’ve got their back to the wall, we press forward.”
“Navi and I will sneak in to throw them off while the Guardian keeps Not-Ganondorf distracted,” Link added. “Then, you guys join us until we beat the snot out of the big bad. We save Zelda, get the Tri Rod, and get everything back to normal.”
The room fell quiet in thought. “It’s a solid plan,” Corbus said, “but how exactly are you planning for us to take out Malladus? I mean, he’s a train.”
“Exactly,” Purah said. “He might be a demon, but he’s still a train. We can derail him, or better yet, cause a boiler explosion. I’ve got a bag of tricks planned for him, and your Ice Rod is going to be a key part of it.”
Corbus gulped. “I… I’ll do my best!”
“Zant should be a bit more straightforward,” Professor Komadoh noted. “Can we be sure he’ll come out?”
“If there’s one thing about those villains we know for sure, it’s that they’ve got huge egos,” Link said. He looked at you with a weak grin. “I should know.”
“An excellent point,” Professor Komadoh said. “I wonder if that has something to do with their mastermind… if the Tri Rod is a reflection of one’s own will…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, that can wait. For now, let’s all have a nice dinner and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a big day.”
==============================
Professor Komadoh had whipped up another delicious dinner, this time including some of your favorites that reminded you of the times she would visit you and your father. She never hesitated to heap more onto your plate. Meanwhile, the rest of the table was in good spirits, though an air of tension hovered over everyone – partially from the coming battle and partially from the Guardian hovering over your shoulder and shooting death glares at Link and Ralon if they so much as inched in your direction.
“Didn’t realize you needed a bodyguard now, Navi,” Corbus joked.
“Grandpa, please relax,” you said, patting his hand. “Purah, was the Champion King really this protective?”
Purah hovered in the air on your other side, typing on a simulated laptop. “Okay, maybe I might’ve turned up the protectiveness too high, but that’s literally what he’s done for the past couple centuries. Sue me. I’ll see if I can get him to chill.”
Aryll watched with interest. “So, you’re really a prince huh?”
Link responded with an enthusiastic nod, but you rolled your eyes. “I’m still the same Navi! I swear! I didn’t even know about any of this!”
“Well I, for one, think it’s good that Navi has extra protection,” Professor Komadoh said, with a knowing look in your direction. “Link is an excellent swordfighter, but having some extra help when the mastermind is clearly interested in those of royal descent can only be good.”
“That and Navi’s a freakin’ dragon,” Aryll added. “I’m sure he could easily push any guy he doesn’t want away.” She sent a heated look towards the Guardian, who decided to reluctantly back off a little bit.
You sighed. “All I want is for things to go back to normal. For everyone to be safe, and to not have to worry about monsters or fighting.” Link smiled beside you. You still had to wonder what it’d be like when he found out. Meanwhile, Corbus and Avil shared a quiet look, as they continued to eat.
==============================
After dinner, you were surprised to see Avil and Corbus walk into your room. “Hi guys,” you said. The two of them took a seat and stared at you. “Um… this is starting to feel like an intervention.”
“It is,” Avil said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s gonna be a weird one, because it’s gonna be a conversation, but you’re not going to do much of the talking at first.” You swallowed hard, your hand slowly transforming into a claw. Your dragon was writhing inside you with anxiety. “Calm down, it’s gonna be alright. We’re not gonna stab you.”
Avil rolled his eyes. “Dude… he’s been through enough, right?”
“Yeah, for sure, but I thought a joke would break the ice?”
“You need to work on your timing…” Both grew quiet as you laughed, before relaxing. For a moment, it felt like being back in the dorms before all this started.
You took a deep breath, letting your shoulders fall and wings relax. “So… what did you want to talk about? Especially since you wanted me alone?”
“A curse,” Corbus said, “typically prevents people from saying or doing something that tells others about what the curse is, who did it, and who you are. You can’t speak, you can’t write, you can’t give any intentional clues without feeling sick.”
“But there are some things people do that even a curse can’t stop,” Avil continued. “Corbus filled me in on some things, and the way you were around me when I was back and how you reacted to Link… well it all points in one direction.”
Corbus leaned forward. “[Y/n]… is it really you?”
You barely nodded before you were smothered by your friends. For the first time in a long while, you heard Avil’s voice crack. “Thank the Goddesses, you’re alive.”
“Does it hurt? Are you okay?”
“It used to,” you said. “It’s gotten better, even if I’m looking more like a dragon each day.”
“To be honest, it’s not a bad look,” Avil said, fighting tears. “Maybe an improvement.”
“Screw you,” you said through a choked laugh as Avil and Corbus hugged you.
Corbus wiped his eyes. “I can’t believe it took me so long to notice… I’m so sorry, [Y/n]. You’ve been fighting all this time and helped to save both of us.”
“Yeah, all this time… all those fights with Link… Wait, holy fuck, you’re dating Link!!” Avil suddenly shouted, bolting upright. Both you and Corbus shushed him. He continued in a hiss. “I swear to Seven Heroines, if he does anything to hurt you or does you dirty – wait, you… the couch… oh Hylia…” Avil’s eyes widened as he started to gag.
Corbus looked at you. “What happened on the couch?”
“Nothing!” You hissed back. You took a breath to ground yourself. “I’m just happy I can finally talk to you guys again. I’ve been wanting to scream and tell you I’m safe and I’ve been here the whole time.”
“Then sorry for taking so long to figure it out,” Avil said. “C’mon, you gotta tell us everything now, or well, everything you can.”
“Then let’s get you back to normal, together,” Corbus said. “We’ll show those guys tomorrow that they won’t get away cursing our best friend.”
==============================
A/n: Just a reminder, the poll for the next story is will close on June 3, 2026. Please don’t forget to cast your vote!
Next time, the gang takes the offensive and goes after the remaining generals in Central Hyrule.
Super Royal Assistant - Special World 3 - The Kamek Files
Previous < First > Next
A visit to Kamek's office turns into some cozy reading of reports you may or may not have permission to read.
AO3
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“Kamek!” You called out, knocking on his door. You eased it open to see his office was empty, the crackling fire in the fireplace being the only sign of life. You sighed, holding a tray of tea and snacks for the two of you to catch up. You walked in, gently shutting the door with your hip and set the tray down on his side table. You pulled out your phone and shot off a quick text, asking him where he was. You had really hoped to catch up with him before the big festival coming up, especially since he had been so busy getting ready for it. Kammy had quite the big part in it after all.
Just then, a pile of papers slipped off his desk – thankfully stopping short of the fire. You strode over to pick them up, noticing they were a type of report you hadn’t seen before. There was an unusual logo on the letterhead with a Koopa shell, Mushroom and three arrows. You figured you should probably take a look if you were going to run the country with your husband, so you gathered the pages, got them back in the right order, and took a seat in Kamek’s comfiest chair.
KSCP-11119 specimens are to be contained within Item Blocks and then further stored at Site Minus 1. Refrigeration is recommended but not required to preserve specimens. Avoid extreme heat. Do not handle specimens without a Level 5 or above hazardous materials suit.
KSCP-11119, colloquially known as the Super Crown, is a mutant variation of the Super Mushroom. Unlike the common Super Mushroom, KSCP-11119 is primarily pink with white spots. Rather than the typical rounded cap of a mushroom, this cap is ridged in four segments. It also has grown a saffron yellow carapace which protects the stem. Notably, the eyes are placed on the outside of the carapace. This carapace rises into four rounded points, not unlike the typical portrayal of a regal crown, thus leading to the colloquial name of this species.
KSCP-11119 grows best in temperate climates, but can grow in as many biomes as the common Super Mushroom. Most commonly the species is found in the Eastern Frontier of the Mushroom Kingdom, commonly in areas including Acorn Plains, Layer Cake Desert, and Frosted Glacier to name a few.
Similar to other power-ups, KSCP-11119 only demonstrates a baseline level of sapience with no demonstrated capability for higher thought and reasoning.
Note that KSCP-11119 should not be confused with the treasure known as a Shiny Crown, though some have been known to hide amongst them.
Current theories suggest that KSCP-11119 may be the result of the Shroob Invasion (see report KSCP-11285). DNA strands within KSCP-11119 match samples of KSCP-11285. This researcher proposes that KSCP-11119 is the result of a failed experiment to change the biology of Toads to produce more Vim. It should also be noted that KSCP-11119 also contains trace DNA fragments similar to female Toads, especially Retainer Toadiko of the Mushroom Kingdom Castle.
KSCP-11119 was first brought to the Foundation in 2019 following an unexpected outbreak in the Eastern Frontier. Royal Architect Toadette of the Mushroom Kingdom was the first to make contact with this species and experienced an unusual transformation into a human resembling Princess Peach, with the additional ability to mimic Princess Peach’s double jump and float. KSCP-11119 also conferred a light but seemingly permanent invincibility to the subject, rendering her immune to attacks. When falling into poison, pits, or lava, KSCP-11119 seems to take control of the subject, forcing them to jump out of harms way. However, KSCP-11119 is not completely impervious, as a second strike of poison, spikes, lava, or other major hazards can deactivate it.
Upon ingestion, KSCP-11119 has been noted to have several effects depending upon the consumer. Testing on multiple subjects appears to reveal that KSCP-11119 has no affect on some species, notably humans and rabbits. Further testing will be required to understand what makes these species immune. Testing on other subjects has revealed a variety of effects, including humanization and gender transformation. The latter of these two effects was inadvertently discovered by the public, leading to several viral “challenges” and adult art to be created on the internet. The Foundation disavows any connection to these viral posts.
Two uncontrolled specimens of KSCP-11119 was acquired by King Bowser and presented to his partner (hereafter identified as Mr. Koopa, see also KSCP-41825) as a gift in the presence of Director Kamek. The following is a transcription of the event.
King Bowser: “Okay you gotta try it. I mean, I know what the internet did and it likely does nothing, but we gotta know right?”
Mr. Koopa: “This is so dumb. There’s no way this actually works.”
King Bowser: “Come on, aren’t you curious? Toadette said it was fun!”
Mr. Koopa: “Not that curious, and Toadette, of course, loved it. She’s always wanted to be tall.”
King Bowser: “Aww come on, just one little test?”
Mr. Koopa: “Fine if it will make you happy.”
Mr. Koopa picks up one of the KSCP-11119 specimens. Nothing happens at first as KSCP-11119 almost appears uncomfortable. Then, the specimen pops in a shower of confetti, replaced by ten gold coins.
Mr. Koopa: “See? Ten coins. Just like with Mario.”
King Bowser: “Huh, guess it really does only work on Toads.”
Mr. Koopa: “Well… we don’t know that for sure. We only know it doesn’t work on humans.”
King Bowser: “Wait, nerd, what are you doing?!”
Mr. Koopa: “C’mon, my king, for science. Isn’t that what you said?”
King Bowser: “Wait, wait, wait!!”
Contrary to popular hypotheses, or perhaps wishful thinking on the internet, King Bowser did not transform into a well-endowed female human-hybrid. Rather, his transformation did make him into a human, just one that was approximately his same height with larger than average musculature. His body was also rather hirsute. Well-endowed seems to be the only part of the internet theory that carried over.
King Bowser: “Oh… this feels gross. I don’t like having such… squishy skin. The squishy part is only fun when I’m cuddling you! And all this hair? It’s like I’m a Kong now! How do you live like this, nerd? … Nerd?”
Mr. Koopa remains silent, just staring.
King Bowser: “Nerd, say something, you’re scaring me. Am I hideous or something?”
Mr. Koopa: (throat clearing)“Kamek, could you please give us some privacy?”
==Transmission End==
Further testing has revealed that KSCP-11119 does not guarantee gender transformation as originally expected. KSCP-11119 appears to show some level of potential psychic ability, as it conforms the transformation to the user’s self-identified gender, as shown through King Bowser’s transformation into a human male. Additional tests on other subjects (identities redacted for privacy), reveal that KSCP-11119 does in fact have the ability to amplify masculine or feminine traits to different degrees to fit the user, whether their preferred expression is male, female, nonbinary, or some shade between on the gender spectrum. KSCP-11119 has the potential for transgender hormone support. Further study and drug trials are proposed.
(There is a handwritten note here with a check mark, and a note reading “Use for Kammy?” that has been crossed out.)
1: While KSCP-11119 is considered Safe, due to its storage method, it is highly recommended the Item Blocks used to contain it should be further kept in high security.
KSCP-51506 specimens are to be contained in Item Blocks or specialized Blue Shell Blocks. KSCP-51506 should be handled with elastic gloves. Typical laboratory practices should be applied. No other protective gear is required.
KSCP-51506, more commonly known as the Blue Shell, is a blue Koopa shell. This shell is an uncommon variant of the more common red and green Koopa shells, though not as rare as the yellow, rainbow, or winged and spiny blue shells (see KSCP-00064A and KSCP-00064B). KSCP-51506 does not appear to have a direct biological link to the Winged or Spiny Blue Shells. It also does not appear to have a direct link to Cyan Ice Shells (See KSCP-11185), commonly seen in Strikers matches.
Shades of blue appear to differ between samples. The healthiest shells have a royal blue hue while wild variants commonly found on the islands of Dinosaur Land appear to have a more muted hue.
KSCP-51506 appears to have the ability to temporarily grant Yoshis the ability to fly, so long as the shell remains in their mouth. This ability also extends to Blue Yoshis, though it is unclear at this time if this is a convergent evolution or a direct link. KSCP-51506 also serves as a separate power-up as a wearable shell. For Koopas, typically there is no affect, but for other species this can temporarily confer the abilities of Koopas, including the ability to withdraw and slide within the shell. Additionally, when worn by humans, KSCP-51506 has been reported to improve swimming abilities, and confers the ability to use the Shell Shot technique.
KSCP-51506 also appears to demonstrate more durability than other Koopa shells. Despite impressions based on the sleeker profile, KSCP-51506 is the second most durable of the common Koopa shell types (barring the rainbow shell and so-called “Big Koopa” shell mutations). That said, the general makeup of these shells is still similar to other common shell types with negligible percentages of difference in bone and keratin content.
KSCP-51506 has been known to the Foundation and to society at large since before recorded history as a natural, if rare, mutation in the Koopa genome. In ancient history, some civilizations prized blue shells as signs of leadership. In more common usage, it has become a symbol of power and has been adopted by companies and even street gangs.
Appearances of KSCP-51506 increased, starting in 1983. While more distantly related to the Koopa genetic family, these first appeared with Shellcreepers, and then later far more commonly in Koopa Troopas, especially those native to Dinosaur Land. Current popular hypotheses suggest that this is due to changes in diet in the region, however studies have remained inconclusive.
KSCP-51506 first appeared as a power-up in 2006, often found in the outbreak of red Winged Item Boxes at the time. It made sporadic appearances since then, with the last major appearance being in 2018.
While previously believed to be explained, KSCP-1506 has been readmitted to the case system due to its reactions to KSCP-41825 (see Incident Report below).
Following the events of Incident Report X-1010 (see KSCP-11119), King Bowser returned with a sample of KSCP-51506 as a gift for his partner (hereafter referred to as Mr. Koopa, see KSCP-41825).
Mr. Koopa: “Bowser, this better not be another power-up.”
King Bowser: “It is, but it’s an apology, and something you can actually use! It’s in your color too…” King Bowser presents his partner with a Blue Shell. “Ta-da! It’s perfect for you, and you can use it to protect yourself.”
Mr. Koopa: “Bowser, this is actually really sweet! Though I’m not exactly sure how much use it’d have for me. Like, I don’t think this shell will even fit me, it looks more like Mario’s size if anything.”
King Bowser: “Pfft, don’t I know it… Mario really liked using it against me back in the day. But! That’s how I know it works! If it can stand up to your king, I’m sure you’ll be safe when you use it.”
Mr. Koopa: “Aww honey…” Mr. Koopa kisses his partner and accepts the specimen. “So, I just slip it on? Seriously looks like a tight squeeze.”
King Bowser: “It’s really not as bad as you might think. Go ahead, try it!”
Mr. Koopa attempts to slip on the specimen after several false starts. However, there is a notable change in his physiology as he pops his head through the neck hole. Mr. Koopa’s body has fully transformed into a large Koopa Troopa, similar to his partner or adopted children.
King Bowser: “H-hey nerd… you…”
Mr. Koopa: “EEP! Bowser, how did this happen?! How did-”
Mr. Koopa’s voice is cut off as King Bowser picks him up.
King Bowser: “Hey now… not a bad look for you, my star. You look even cuter like this. I should’ve stuck a shell on you a long time ago.”
Mr. Koopa: “Bowser… this isn’t funny, why am I a Koopa? This never happened to Mario and Luigi, right?!”
King Bowser: “Who cares?”
King Bowser addresses the others in the room.
King Bowser: “All of you, scram! I think I need some time to help my little nerd get acclimated to being a Koopa…”
KSCP-11285 specimens and related mutant specimens are to be stored in cyrostasis, utilizing Procedure Sherbet. All specimens are to be stored in the deep vault at [redacted]. (see Footnote 2)
KSCP-11285 specimens and related mutant specimens shall only be handled by researchers with Level 3 and above clearance. All specimens are to remain under cyrostasis at all times when not being examined. When under examination, all specimens are to remain heavily sedated. Researchers are required to wear a Level 5 and above hazardous materials suit when working with specimens. Researchers are also required to keep at least one gallon of Gadd Solution 5 per specimen under active experimentation.
KSCP-11285 is an alien species found in the deep reaches of the known universe. The species’ most common form has a stout mushroom-like body, most often purple with blue spots. Their eyes are similar in construction to common species on our planet, but have a red iris and pupil with a black sclera. The two eyes almost merge together and seem to occupy a single cavity in their head, moving together. They have a large mouth with two sharp incisors. Their arms have only two phalanges that operate in a pinching grip. The species also has two short legs with large feet, comparable to a Toad.
While KSCP-11285 has been observed to consume food and drink, the species primarily thrives off of processed life force known as Vim. Traditional harvest methods involve trapping the subject in a tree, which removes the pure Vim and transports it via root system to a Vim Factory where it can be processed and distilled to a usable form through a biological curing process (see KSCP-11287 “Swiggler”).
KSCP-11285 and all related species have a direct aversion to baby tears. The chemical makeup and salinity of baby tears denatures the proteins that bind their body. Under contact, there is mild irritation escalating to what can be considered equivalent to an acid burn. Under prolonged contact, the body of the specimen dissolves completely. Different mutant specimens appear to have differing levels of tolerance and the “royal” mutant specimens appear to have a level of immunity. Further research would be required, however all known royal mutant specimens have been neutralized (please refer to report on Project Dialga Incident and Paradox Reconciliation). Gadd Solution 5, the primary deterrent for KSCP-11285, is a synthetic chemical that mimics the makeup of baby tears, as solution procurement would require expensive and unethical means.
For all mutant specimens, please refer to Attachment B for a full chart of collected specimens.
KSCP-11285 arrived on our planet after draining their homeworld of all natural resources in an event known as the Shroob Invasion (see Footnote 3). Their planet, unnamed and as of yet undiscovered, is believed to lie beyond the Flash Black Galaxy.
During the course of the Shroob Invasion, KSCP-11285 under the rule of its two leaders were able to completely subjugate the Mushroom Kingdom and enslave the populace to be used and consumed. Approximately twenty years in the future, the first publically demonstrated time machine created by Elvin Gadd was demonstrated. The power source, the Cobalt Star, was responsible for tearing holes in the space time continuum. KSCP-11285 and the Shroob Invasion as a whole was only able to be stopped after direct intervention by Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, and their infant selves. No known KSCP-11285 specimens escaped into the future through wormholes at this time.
Specimens in cryostasis were directly acquired by Director Kamek at Thwomp Volcano, following a battle between King Bowser and the specimens. It is believed that the presence of KSCP-41825 also assisted in successful defeat of the specimens.
Following the events of the KSCP-00001 “Dark Star” Containment Breach, Mr. Koopa (KSCP-41825) was informed of Site 8-4’s existence by Luigi Mario. Both met with Director Kamek, unaware of the Foundation’s existence.
Mr. Koopa: “Kamek, I remember you ‘procured’ some of the Shroobs, but you absolutely cannot place them in the basement of the castle!”
Director Kamek: “In my defense, this castle wasn’t supposed to be the main castle, but His Fickleness decided to change it before I could get a new lab built to hold them. You know well that I would never put this family in danger.”
Mr. Koopa: “I understand but… c’mon Kamek. It’s a damn alien freezer! I’m surprised Larry hasn’t already found it.”
Director Kamek: “We did have a few close calls.”
Luigi Mario: “I’m just glad Mario and I were able to beat them! I didn’t think we’d ever see them again. And hey, got some cool shoes out of it!”
Luigi Mario shows off his new shiny purple boots.
Mr. Koopa: “They are pretty nice.”
Director Kamek: “Actually yes, if I knew they could give me nice shoes like that, I would’ve killed them sooner. Kammy would slay in those.”
Mr. Koopa: “True, but let’s not get distracted. Kamek, please tell me you’re getting these out of the castle.”
Director Kamek: “Not… destroy them?”
Mr. Koopa: “...listen, I know they’re still dangerous, but… Just in case we have another invasion in the future, it may be good to examine their technology. Just keep some of that fake baby tear stuff E. Gadd made nearby. I don’t want anyone getting hurt. Oh, and we definitely can’t let them do the whole Vim thing again. That’s better left forgotten… poor Toadiko.”
Director Kamek: “I couldn’t agree more. After all, Toady and I pushed forward with the memory wipe for a reason.”
Mr. Koopa: “Good, then let’s get them out of here and away from my kids. Somewhere secure and far from where they can hurt someone...”
The group prepares to leave, but Mr. Koopa stops abruptly.
Mr. Koopa: “Hey, why is there a weird shell logo on the cooling tanks here? I’ve never seen it before.”
Director Kamek: “Ah, don’t worry about that, just a random brand I’m sure…”
==Transmission End==
Footnotes:
1: During the course of the KSCP-00001 Containment Breach, it appears Mario Mario and Luigi Mario entered the storage facility and inadvertently reversed the cryogenic process. As expected, KSCP-11285 attacked and was subsequently neutralized via several stomps, hammers, and a Spin Pipe. Additional mutant forms of KSCP-11285 are still in cryostasis, however all samples of the base KSCP-11285 have been neutralized.
2: Following the KSCP-00001 Containment Breach, all mutant species of KSCP-11285 are to be moved out of Site 8-4 to Site 64, per Director Memo XG4.
3: The Shroob Invasion is a time-locked event and has been redacted and expunged from collective memory. Only key Foundation personnel and those involved in the Project Dialga Incident have recollection of this event.
Report Prepared by Dr. Elvin Gadd
Report Approved and Sealed by Director Kamek
==============================
TOP SECRET; DIRECTOR LEVEL CLEARANCE ONLY
Item #: KSCP-41825, Consort King to King Bowser, Koopa Kingdom
Object Class: Keter; Secondary Class: Archon (see Footnote 1)
Special Containment Procedures:
KSCP-41825 is only to be contained under the extreme circumstance in which the specimen becomes a direct danger to the Royal Family. Should this become necessary, refer to Game Over Protocol. Under all other circumstances, KSCP-41825 is not to be contained and should be protected by a security detail as appropriate in the Koopa Kingdom Royal Household Procedures.
KSCP-41825 is only to be tested or studied by Director Kamek or Dr. Elvin Gadd. KSCP-41825 is not to be tested at any point against his will.
KSCP-41825 is a human, married to King Bowser and serving as assistant and ambassador for the Mushroom Kingdom under Princess Peach. His physical appearance is [Several lines have been redacted].
KSCP-41825 has been irradiated by magic objects to the point where his body has become a magic object itself. Consultation with expert magic advisor Merlon and the Star Spirits suggest that his body generates magic at a rate similar to a Grand Star. Only one other being is known to match this ability (see KSCP-11107, Mother of the Stars). Pairing KSCP-41825 with KSCP-11107 seems to be in the best interest of all parties in order to train him to better use his magic abilities.
KSCP-41825 was born in New Donk City to [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. [Several more redacted lines follow.]
KSCP-41825 graduated from Crown City University to later pursue postgraduate work at the University of Goom. There, he would later be recruited by the Pianta Syndicate for the purpose of repairing and racing automobiles. During this time, he would gain the nickname Blue, for his ability to outrun blue shells (see KSCP-00064A and B) without aid of external items and regardless of vehicle type. After a close acquaintance was kidnapped by King K. Rool under threat of death, he left the Pianta Syndicate. Eventually, he would be hired by the Mushroom Kingdom as an assistant to Princess Peach.
Due to the Project Dialga Incident, Director Kamek and KSCP-41825 had met long before the time he would be employed by Princess Peach. As such, Director Kamek immediately included him as a person of interest for the Foundation.
KSCP-41825 was also instrumental in neutralizing KSCP-00001 after it had broken containment. By utilizing his latent star abilities, he was able to revitalize and empower King Bowser in order to defeat the fused King Koopa and KSCP-00001.
The most extreme example of KSCP-41825’s power comes with the Dark Prognosticus Event in which he was able to not only survive a black hole, but protect Prince Bowser Junior Koopa in the process. He was also able to repower eight dormant Pure Hearts in order to stop the destruction of the universe along with his partner King Bowser.
KSCP-41825 became consort and partner to King Bowser on March 27, 2026, with an official ceremony on April 10, 2026, just shy of one year after they first met.
For full documentation of KSCP-41825’s history, please see the comprehensive report submitted by the joint committee with Star Spirits, dated April 18, 2025.
Director Kamek: “Ah, hello [Y/n]. I wasn’t expecting you.”
KSCP-41825: “Sorry, didn’t mean to bother you, but Bowser and I were thinking of taking the kids over to Ballyhoo and Big Top’s new circus. Do you want to come with us?”
Director Kamek: “Ah! Well… I… I think I have to finish these reports first and…”
KSCP-41825: “There will be lots of funnel cake.”
Director Kamek: “Oh come now, that’s not fair.”
KSCP-41825: (laughing) “I know, but you’ve been holed up in your office for days. C’mon, let’s go out and do something as a family. The kids want to see their grandpa and I want to see my friend.”
Director Kamek: “Well then… how can I say no?”
KSCP-41825: “You can’t. Besides, who else is gonna give me catty commentary through the show?”
Director Kamek: (laughing) “Obviously not Bowser. C’mon, I’ll get my wallet. I’m gonna buy the tickets.”
KSCP-41825: “No, no, I invited you, I can’t have you pay.”
Director Kamek: “When else am I going to be able to spoil my grandchildren and my new son-in-law?”
==Transmission End==
It is the opinion of this researcher, that KSCP-41825 is nothing but a benefit to the Koopa Kingdom and the Royal Family. As such, now that KSCP-00001 has been neutralized, KSCP-41825’s protection is the priority of the Foundation.
1: KSCP-41825 is not to be contained or detained for any reason. KSCP-41825 is imperative to national security and international relations. Not only is KSCP-41825 difficult to contain himself, he is more dangerous to contain, as several parties would stop at literally nothing to break him free. Additionally, he inherently wishes to protect the Koopa Kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom, therefore, secondary classification Archon has been applied.
Report Prepared by Director Kamek
Report Approved and Sealed by Director Kamek
==============================
A sticky note fell off the last page into your lap. It was a handwritten scribble with a heart, but you recognized the handwriting as Kamek’s.
I will always love and protect you. I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law. ~Kamek
==============================
A/n: I went with five digits for the KSCP reports since it would differentiate it from the SCP wiki, which typically uses four or fewer digits. Each number is also a reference to specific dates. 11119 is for January 11, 2019, the North American release date of New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe. 51506 is for May 15, 2006, the North American release date of New Super Mario Bros. 11285 is for November 28, 2005, the North American release date of Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time. 11107 is January 11, 2007, the North American release date of Super Mario Galaxy. The Assistant’s KSCP file is 41825, or April 18, 2025, the date I posted Chapter 1.Only 00001 and 00064 are unique. I imagine the Dark Star would have been the most important specimen under the Foundation, thus number one. 00064 for the Spiny Blue Shell and Winged Spiny Blue Shell are because the item debuted in Mario Kart 64.
Just a reminder, the poll for the next story is will close on June 3, 2026. Please don’t forget to cast your vote!
Next time, the final special chapter for now, and it’s about time we have a party right? You might say it’s even time to jump up in the air… but one sour diva aims to steal the spotlight.
Hi all, delaying to Saturday hopefully for the last time for a while. Thankfully past the flu but now catching up on work has taken up most of my time. This will be a double update for Super Royal Assistant and Shadows of Hyrule.
Once again, a huge thank you to GAUSSPRIME/THEANNIHILATO over on Wattpad and Twitter/X for more awesome Shadows of Hyrule art! We have the crew recreating the Viltrumite photo meme (love how Ralon just can't be mean) and we have his interpretation of a modern Ganondorf design as a Detective, channeling a bit of a Mr. X look.
Side note on his Ganondorf, this is specifically Ganondorf if he resolved his relationship with Sheik from my Dreams of the Kingdom fic (and this fic), and they moved to the modern day and got married. I really like the idea and might have to make it happen at the end of Shadows of Hyrule.
“[Y/n]?!” Link bolted across the floor to the crumpled body. He quickly turned them over, cradling their head in his lap, while checking for a pulse. “Thank Hylia, he’s still breathing.”
“Link, wait,” you said. A growl escaped your throat. Aside from the obvious that the body wasn’t you, something smelled wrong, stale. Your back began to arch, and your wings flared out. You carefully approached. “You need to get away from him.”
“But it’s [Y/n]?” Link said. “We should get him out of here and to a hospital.”
“Back away from him,” you said, not quite keeping the snarl out of your voice. Link looked shocked, but he slowly lowered their head and stepped back.
“Navi, what’s wrong? It’s [Y/n], we finally found him!”
“No,” you said, fighting to hold back your dragon self. “Think about it Link, how the hell would he have gotten down here unless he’s one of Ganon’s monsters?”
“But… what if he was kidnapped?”
You swallowed the acid that tried to rise in your throat, holding your voice as steady as you could. “Link… I know you care about him, but that’s not him!”
Your doppelganger then stirred and opened his eyes. “Link…?” They stretched – scarily mirroring your exact habits as you woke up – and blinked. “Where am I?” They then noticed you and recoiled slightly. “W-who is that?”
“It’s okay,” Link said softly, though his eyes now had a wary glint. “It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna get you out of here.”
“O-okay.” The other you nodded with a soft smile. “Um, thanks for coming to get me… though I don’t really know where this is. Where are we?”
“Snowpeak Manor, in Hebra,” Link said, despite the warning growl from you. He gave you a placating look, placing one hand on your back.
“Oh wow, really?” The other you said. “That’s so cool, it’s one of the best preserved historic sites. I thought it was closed to the public, but this is awesome! Can we look around?” You grumbled internally, noticing this doppelganger even copied your weakness to ramble around Link from back before this all started. “Brr, no wonder the floor’s so cold. Can you help me up? My legs are stiff…”
Link reached out, taking the other’s hand. “Link no!” You hissed.
“Navi, come on, it’s just helping him...” His voice trailed off as the body began to distort in his hand. The hand grew cold and bony, squeezing Link with a death grip. You watched your own jaw stretch and distort, unhinging from the skull. Link struggled, trying to peel the hand away as the fake’s skin paled. “What the hell?! Let go!”
“wHaT’s WrOnG lInK?” The monster burbled in your voice. “DoN’t YoU lIkE mE?” Its eyes sunk into its head, crying tears of blood, as its legs split and stretched, the feet contorting with a sickening crack into hands. It let out an ear-piercing shriek that shook the icy stalactites on the ceiling.
You slashed at the arm, cleaving it with your claws and pulled Link back. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” Link muttered, peeling the hand away and stamping his foot on it. “What the hell is that?”
The fake’s neck snapped and rolled back as its original hands shrunk into weird nubs. Meanwhile, other hands tore up from the floor, each long, pale and bony. The monster screeched again.
“It’s a Dead Hand,” you said, trying to hold down your lunch.
“Look out!” Link shoved you out of the way, blocking the Dead Hand with his shield. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah, sorry. Had nightmares about Dead Hands for years as a kid…”
Link held his shield firm, standing over you. “Well, you don’t need to worry about them when you’ve got me.”
The Dead Hand swiped at you again, but then gripped the floor, shaking it. Suddenly, the icy boards cracked under you. You grabbed Link and popped out your wings just in time as the floor gave way, and the icicles crashed down. Everything collapsed one floor down into a pile of rubble and wood.
“Thanks,” Link said, as you glided down. “You save me even when I’m trying to save you…” He laughed weakly. “Dunno how many times that makes it…”
“I don’t think boyfriends are supposed to keep count,” you said as you landed. “Any luck the fall killed it?”
“Doubt it,” Link said, drawing his sword. Suddenly, six of the arms rose from the rubble, just weakly waving in the air. “Definitely not. How do we beat this thing?”
“Stories say that it grabs you when you get close and then the main body will emerge. That’s our chance to attack.”
Link shivered. “Ew, no way.” He produced a bomb. “I’ve got a better idea.” He held the bomb in front of him as he slowly got closer. Suddenly, the hand snapped forward, but grabbed the bomb instead of Link. “Gotcha.” Link dodged back and detonated the bomb. Another unearthly screech came from somewhere below the rubble as the hand was destroyed.
“Nice one!” you cheered, noting Link’s blush. Suddenly, you felt something grab your tail. You froze, your heart leaping into your throat. You turned back to see the icy hand holding you tight enough to crush your scales. The rubble shifted as the Dead Hand emerged, shuffling towards your tail. “LINK!!”
Your heroic boyfriend wasted no time. He charged forward slashing at the hand. The arm was cleaved clean off – despite the remnant still holding on as you flailed. Link then turned to the Dead Hand. He swung, and suddenly a beam of light shot from the Master Sword, stunning the monster. “Whoa!”
“Don’t stop!”
“Right!” Link swung again, sending another beam of light before charging in and slashing away at the Dead Hand’s body. The Dead Hand screamed, snatching Link’s leg with one of his hands. Before Link could slice it away, another hand grabbed his arm. The Dead Hand lurched forward, its jaw unhinging as it descended on your boyfriend’s neck.
“No!” You ran forward before you realized your feet were moving. A heat rose in your chest and suddenly, a burst of flames shot from your mouth. The Dead Hand hissed and reeled back. You tore through one of the torched limbs, freeing Link’s arm. Link didn’t hesitate, shoving a bomb into the Dead Hand’s mouth before pushing you back and detonating it.
There was a loud boom, as the Dead Hand’s head was blown clean off. The remaining hands and the body twitched before falling lifeless to the ground. Link was beside you in an instant. “Are you okay, Navi?”
“I’m fine, are you?”
“Totally fine,” He grinned. “So… flames?”
“I don’t know… I just got worried about you getting hurt.”
He looked at you with a smirk. “Are you saying you like me?”
“Don’t get cocky again,” you said, coughing up a little leftover smoke. Link nodded, but still seemed very pleased with himself.
As the Dead Hand crumpled and melted away, you watched a strange void appear on the floor for the briefest moment. You frowned, the void seemed to ring a bell with an old story, but you couldn’t place it. You were distracted from those thoughts, however, as the wall rumbled and parted to reveal a door on the far side. “Some security system,” Link said. “Guess you can’t lockpick a door if the door’s not there.”
Link helped you up and you headed to the door. The door opened with some protest, but gave way to reveal… nothing. It was a simple room on the other side, stone walls, stone floor. There was no sign of any doors, just strange carvings of monsters you couldn’t identify. Each stood in a menacing pose facing you as you walked in. The room also smelled of oil, coming from the four sconces that sat in the corners.
“Well… only one thing to do,” Link said.
“Right,” you said, hoping you could have a little more control over the fire breath. “Do you have something we could use as a torch or something? Might be fas-” Your voice cut off as you heard the crash of ceramic. You turned to see Link frowning at the pot he broke. “Link!!”
“What? It was right here? Thought it might have a stick or something.” Before you could stop him, he broke another. “A-ha! See?” He beamed, holding up a sturdy looking stick.
“I…” You scratched your head. “I have no words.”
“How about ‘Link was right’?” He smirked. The smirk was replaced by a squeak as you wrapped your tail around him and pulled him towards you. You carefully breathed a small flame on Link’s stick, and released him. He lit one side of the room while you took the other, doing your best not to send the whole room up in flame. The soft glow of the fire was nice, and if nothing else, the heat helped to warm the icy room. Once all four were lit, there was a soft click, followed by a chime. With a rumble, panels from the walls descended into the floor, revealing three more doors, one on each wall.
“Which one first?” Link asked.
You crossed your arms. “Good adventurers always go left first.”
“What?” Link laughed as you led the way.
“Don’t worry, after this I’ll teach you how to play some tabletop games. You gotta go the optimal looting pattern.” Link just shook his head.
In the next room, you found it to be completely different from the stone entrance. The walls were wood-paneled and lit as you approached. “An armory?” Link muttered, approaching the walls of well preserved weapons. There were rows of swords, shields, spears, bows, hammers, and even boomerangs, all mounted on special racks. There had to be enough to outfit a small battalion. However, that wasn’t what caught your attention. “What’s wrong?” Link asked, when you stopped and stared at the bottom edge of one of the racks.
You pointed. “It’s lit up.” Link merely looked confused. You scratched your chin. “Link, it’s lit with electricity.”
“Didn’t they have like fancy ancient tech though?”
“Yeah, but not like this. These are new. The lights are modern diodes, only invented about thirty years ago. Definitely did not exist during the time the kings were around.” You then turned back to Link. “Sorry, just strange. You probably are like a kid in a candy store, right? You gonna try any?”
“Why would I need a different sword when I’ve got the best one right here?” Link grinned, patting the Master Sword. For a second, you could have sworn it glowed in response, but it must’ve been a trick of the light. “C’mon, let’s check out the other rooms.”
You decided to skip the top room for now, going for the one to the right. Here, you nearly jumped as you came face to face with a mannequin wearing Zora armor. This room was a little cozier, filled with various types of armor and clothing for all kinds of weather and locations. Dried ingredients for elixirs and potions were stocked in an apothecary-style cabinet on the far end. Link however was drawn to a far wall with various saddles. “Oh wow, these are nice… just need to give the leather a little oil, and it’d be perfect. Epona would be like a princess wearing these!” He then saw another set and laughed. “This one’s for you!”
You looked, seeing a much more regal set of saddles. “I told you I’m not a prince. I’m just normal Navi.”
“Yeaaaah, that’s not what that Guardian said,” Link said, nudging you. “Besides, maybe I like saying my boyfriend’s a prince, because that means I get to be your knight. Hey, after this is over, you can come to my games! Y’know, it’s tradition for the winner to get a kiss after each victory.”
“Okay, I’ve seen your games, and I know you’re just making that up as an excuse.”
“You’ve seen my games?” Link asked, wide-eyed.
You suddenly realized the implications of your words. “I-I-I mean… yeah. Y’know… hard to not to.”
With this room seemingly exhausted, you made for the last room, which actually appeared to be a hallway. This was the most lavishly decorated, designed to be both a hallway and a library. Bookcases lined both walls, with a few breaks between for desks, chairs, or paintings. The books were incredibly well preserved in the cold, dry air. You wanted nothing more than to rest and peruse the collection, but there was a job to be done. You and Link walked down the carpeted hallway, past tapestries and paintings of various parts of Hyrule and her history. Some of the paintings you even recognized as reproductions from some in the Archives.
Link was a little less impressed with this section. “Weird sense of decoration,” he muttered, stopping to look at a collection of four smaller prints of Poes. The way your eyes darted around the room wasn’t lost on him. “Hey, after this is over, maybe we can come here, and you can nerd out.”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Nah, it’s like a study date. And you did say you’d help me study, right?”
You were thankful once again for the bandages to hide your expression, even if your eyes did flicker pink again for a moment. “You… really are so much more accommodating and understanding than I expected.”
Now it was Link’s turn to blush. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be? I mean… you’ve bent over backwards to help me all this time. Least I can do.” He then shyly took your hand in his. “Besides, you’re my first boyfriend… well, first real steady relationship honestly. I don’t wanna mess this up.”
You squeezed his hand. “Me neither. And you’re doing great.”
“Heh, thanks.” Link walked with a little more spring in his step as you two approached the end of the hallway, though you stopped short.
“Hold up,” you said, stopping in front of the painting. It depicted Hateno Port, which under normal circumstances wasn’t strange. However, on the horizon of the bay, was a modern ship. Modern radar equipment was painted on the ship’s bridge. “Okay, first the blast doors upstairs, then the lights, and now this? This makes no sense!”
Link stood beside you. “I don’t get it.”
You sunk onto a small bench along the wall. “I don’t either. None of this should have been possible for people in their time. So, our friend downstairs has access to the outside world and has been swapping things out, or…” You threw up your hands in frustration. “I don’t know, time travel?”
“Time travel? Like in the stories?” Link asked. “Like I know at least about the Hero of Time and all.”
“To be honest, I won’t be surprised if something like the Ocarina of Time shows up at this rate,” you sighed. You then kicked yourself as you seriously started thinking about the possibility. “But I guess that’s been gone so long, no one’s finding that again.”
“So… is there anything else that can time travel?”
You cocked your head. “Well, there’s the Harp of Ages. That’s supposedly over in a museum in Zora’s Doma…” You voice trailed off. “In Zora’s Domain, where Professor Komadoh was looking.”
Link stopped at sat beside you. “You don’t really think it’s her, do you?”
“I’m not sure. Like I know it’s not Aryll, obviously. And it can’t be Corbus or Avil…”
“Why?”
You froze. “Huh?”
“Why can’t it be Corbus or Avil?” Link asked. He then threw up his hands. “Um, n-not saying they are! I’m just… wondering.”
You chose your words carefully. “Corbus and Avil… I trust them. They’re also like family for [Y/n]. They both want to find him and aren’t about to do something to endanger him. Both were also turned into monsters before. Why would you turn someone into a monster if they’re already on your side?”
“To get us to trust them,” Link said.
“…I suppose that does make sense. But the point still stands, I can’t see either of them doing anything to hurt [Y/n] when they know he’s out there. That’d be like Aryll being a traitor and trying to hurt you.”
Link snorted. “You didn’t grow up with her.”
“Link, I’m being serious.”
“I know, I know,” he sighed, and then winced. “Y’know, it could be someone else if the Harp is in Zora’s Domain.”
“You don’t really think it’s Ralon, do you?”
Link crossed his arms. “It’s not personal, but you gotta admit the possibility.”
You were quiet for a moment. To be honest, you couldn’t refute it completely, especially since Ralon had returned to Hyrule before everything started. Instead, you shifted. “Well, we’re not even sure if it is the Harp of Ages. There might be another way.” You thought back to all those countless hours in the Archives. “There were stories about something called the Gate of Time as well. In the stories, one of the heroes was able to command it… as was the Dragon King. And considering we’re in his house...” You sighed. “But that feels like such a stretch, and even if the Gate was here, how would Ganondorf be able to use it?”
Link shrugged. “Maybe he’s just that evil, he’s bound to come back. He’s like a boomerang or an echo.”
You were about to launch into a whole lecture about the Curse of Demise and over half of Hyrule’s history, yet something about Link’s words sparked a thought. Suddenly, you shouted. “Echo, that’s it!”
“What?”
You grabbed Link’s shoulders. “[Y/n] was an Echo! The other monsters we’re facing are Echoes! That’s how Ganondorf has the power to summon anyone from anywhere. That’s what was missing from the Archives. I remember something was missing among the rods. He stole the Tri Rod!” You began to pace, your tail whipping back and forth.
“The Tri Rod?” Link asked.
“Yes! It was a magical staff wielded by a past Zelda, able to create exact copies of monsters to fight evil and save the kingdom. It makes sense now, each of the fakes we’ve fought are able to perfectly mimic their historical counterparts.” Suddenly, your stomach dropped. “Wait… what if that’s why they kidnapped our Zelda? Maybe they thought she would be the only one able to counter them with the same power?” You paced furiously, mind racing.
Link scratched his head. “Does that mean Ganondorf is an Echo too?”
“No, of course, he’s-” your voice caught. “Shit… He might be. He might not even be real.” You sat down again beside Link. “But if he’s isn’t real… then why? Why would they use him? And who is ‘they’?”
Link rubbed your back again, slowly banishing your anxiety and tension. “Hey, one step at a time. Maybe we should meet the weird voice first. She might have some answers.”
“You’re right,” you said, leaning against Link. “Thanks.”
“If there’s one thing I can do right, it’s clearing my head,” Link laughed. The two of you continued down the hall and down one final staircase. “This place could really use an elevator.”
“No kidding,” you said, as you approached a solid metal double door. This one was oddly fancy, with bronze decorations. That said, you could tell it was solid as a vault, and nothing in your arsenal would so much as dent it. Above the door, a slot opened, almost like an eye. A beam of light scanned over you and Link.
Two confirmed. Preparing security door.
Behind you, the staircase closed off with a rock wall and a blast door, similar to the one in front of you. With a hiss of steam, the doors opened with a whoosh, and on the other side, you were greeted by the surprising sight of digital lights. In fact, everything looked far more advanced than you expected. “How is this possible?” You muttered.
“An excellent question,” the voice you had heard upstairs returned. “But you’ll be surprised what you can make when you’ve got a little free time.” The lights dimmed slightly as a fleet of tiny drones took flight. Lights on their underside flickered to life as they took positions around the lab, almost like fireflies. A holographic woman appeared from the darkness, wearing a rather fashionable yukata and wearing some strange goggles on her head. She adjusting her glasses and pointed at you with something that looked like a flute. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve had guests. It’s good to finally see you in person. Oh, where are my manners? Hi Linky and Navi, my name is Purah.”
==============================
A/n: In my best Sam Reich impression, “This has been an Echoes of Wisdom fic the whole time!” Hope you enjoyed this one!
You awoke with Link nearly melded around you. You gently extracted yourself, giving him a kiss. He mumbled something happily in his sleep, squirming a little in your wings.
You yawned and stretched, right as the front door opened. Avil walked in, rolling his shoulders and breathing heavy. “Oh hey,” he said. “Didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“Nah, I was just getting up.”
“Long night?” He asked with a grin.
Luckily for you, you had your wings draped around to cover yourself. Instead, you decided to change the subject. “You went out for a morning jog like that?” You asked. “In this snow? You’re gonna catch a cold at best, more likely frostbite.”
“Calm down, you’re as bad as [Y/n]. Helps clear my head.” Avil wiped the sweat off his face, studying you. “How did you know I went for a jog?”
Your stomach grumbled a warning as the curse tightened around your throat. “Seems pretty obvious. You have running shoes on.”
“...fair.” His eyes then fell on Link, still asleep on the couch. “Not sure how [Y/n] is gonna take this.”
You nodded awkwardly. “It’ll be an… interesting conversation.”
“That’s for sure.” Avil sighed. “I meant what I said though. You’re good for him. We’ve all talked about it, Link’s more grounded. He might just pull this off, but he can’t do it without you.”
“It’s not just me, and I don’t think we’d be this far without everyone else.”
“Geez, just take the compliment,” Avil laughed.
“Right, thanks…” You laughed nervously. There was a question boiling in your stomach and you had to ask. “Would you have been mad if [Y/n] and Link actually did get together?”
Avil flinched. “Yes and no. [Y/n]’s a big boy and if he wanted to get with Link after that, then I support him. I just wanna protect him y’know? He’s my bro. I’d still worry and I know Link’s trying… but I’m still keepin’ an eye on him. And he better not mess with you either otherwise I’ll have another reason to kick his ass.”
“I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that,” you said with a small smile under your mask. “And thank you for looking out for me… and [Y/n],” you added hastily.
There was the briefest spark of confusion and maybe recognition, but it disappeared as quickly as it arrived. “Anyway, I’m gonna take a shower… unless you and Link need a cold one first.” He winked, with a nod towards Link, who you realized was pitching quite an early morning tent. Avil laughed as he left you flustered.
==============================
Professor Komadoh accompanied you and Link to the edge of the nature preserve. The others stayed behind to keep an eye on the village, despite several protests. A tall iron and stone fence marked the edge of the preserve. She scanned a badge at a gate, opening the way for the two of you to enter the snowy field beyond. In the distance, you could see a beautiful mansion on a mountain’s edge overlooking Lake Kilsie below. “There it is,” she said. “Snowpeak Manor. It was built during the Reign of Two Kings. They both loved the hot springs here and liked to have a place to get away from royal duties and watch the auroras. The whole area was set under royal decree to be a natural preserve so their secret home in the mountains wouldn’t be disturbed.”
She turned to you and Link and continued. “Sorry, the old teaching habits never go away… Anyway, you’ll enter on the main floor. There shouldn’t be too much of interest, but keep your eyes peeled for anything strange from Ganondorf. Be sure to be careful about touching anything; you might set off the security.”
“What kind of security exactly?” You asked.
“I’ve never seen it myself, but I was always told if you got that far, you were doomed. My grandfather once said it caught an intruder… not that there was much left to identify what the intruder was afterward. Whatever it is, it’s quick and lethal, even by modern standards.”
“Okay, then what?” Link asked.
“Make your way to the basement. There should be an intermediate level and then you’ll find yourself reaching the hidden locked floors. I’m not sure what to expect down there, but that’s likely what Ganondorf is looking for. It was meant to remain locked for the next wielder of the Master Sword, so I hope it will open for you. If you can, deactivate the security so the rest of us can enter, but only if you can ensure you have what Ganondorf wants.”
“Or what he’s looking to keep us away from,” You added. “In that case, we better get going.”
“Be careful you two,” Professor Komadoh said. “Move quickly but keep up your guard. You don’t know if Ganondorf has already gotten someone inside.”
==============================
The frozen manor doors squealed as you forced it open. Link whistled. “So, this is a royal residence… surprised it’s still standing.”
“Magic, most likely,” you said, feeling a bit of a tingle in the air. The Manor seemed untouched by anything but the cold after all this time. Even the walls were free of cobwebs, instead marked with spiderlike frost. Your footsteps echoed on the icy hardwood boards as the two of you crossed the foyer. A chandelier hung over the double staircase, immaculately detailed with gold fixtures representing the crests of the various people of Hyrule. “It’s certainly what you think of when you hear ‘palace’…”
“Lucky royals.”
You frowned. “If Ganondorf’s interested in it, they hid something fancy here. And since the Champion King once wielded the Master Sword, it’s likely big. I just can’t figure out what he would have left you.”
You pushed through the foyer doors into a large living room, likely where guests were once greeted. The stone fireplace magically roared to life as you entered, starting to warm the chilly room. Like the foyer, everything was oddly clean, save the touch of frost here and there.
“Look at this.” You followed Link to a large oil painting, surprisingly well-preserved in the cold. Two men sat side by side, gazing with pure adoration at each other. One looked shockingly like an older Link and the other… “He looks like him,” Link said. “He looks just like [Y/n].”
You wanted nothing more than to tell him you were fine, that you had been here beside him the whole time. All you could offer was your hand and a simple, “I know we’ll find him.”
You held Link’s hand as the two of you continued to explore the various rooms, perhaps more for your own comfort. Each stop only made the strange state of the manor more apparent. It looked as if everything had been just the way it was when it was last used. The eerie icy silence didn’t help, feeling like you were quite literally frozen in time. “Either Komadoh is super good at her job, or we’re missing something,” Link muttered.
“Yeah, like where are the magic artifacts?” You replied. “We must’ve been through half the rooms by now, and there’s not a sign of anything.”
Eventually, you came to a sort of storage room. Where you expected to find the magic artifacts or at least maybe some linens or old paintings, you instead found shelf upon shelf of pots. All of them were the same size with the same perfect glazing. “That’s weird,” you murmured to yourself, ready to leave, when you felt Link stop. “Link?” Your boyfriend stared at the pots, almost enraptured. “Link?” you asked again.
Link shook his head. “Sorry what?”
“You… like the pots?”
“Oh, I mean… y’know,” he blushed. “Don’t you just wanna… break them?”
“Link, you can’t.”
“Aww, c’mon just one? What if there’s something really cool inside?”
To be fair, the tops of these pots were sealed, leaving the contents to one’s imagination. “Like what?”
“I dunno, arrows? Rupees? That’s the exciting part!”
You shook your head. “No. We’re not breaking any pots, not when that could set off the security system. C’mon.”
You turned, despite Link’s protest, and pulled him along. Unfortunately, you didn’t account for Link being more stubborn than you expected as he resisted. More importantly, you also forgot about your long tail. Your tail brushed against one of the shelves, knocking a pot from its perch. The pot seemed to fall in slow motion, shattering on the floor.
“Awww…” Link muttered as a single green rupee skittered across the floor.
Before you could respond, a chime echoed through the manor. Suddenly, bars dropped over the windows. Blast doors closed over the entrance. A calm woman’s voice followed.
“Guardian?” Link asked, drawing his sword. “Guessing they’re not going to be welcoming.”
“Given the history books, no,” you replied, releasing your claws. A strange sound seemed to echo around you. It took some time before you realized it was coming from above you.
There was a clank and a hiss. Suddenly, a heavy mass of metal fell from the ceiling. Steam poured from its body as it unfolded into a muscular human-like form. It seemed to be made of a mix of a strange black alloy pulsing with blue light and jade metal. It wore white armor that seemed to glow. It stood, moving smoothly and drawing a fine-crafted sword, honed to a razor’s edge. A mane of light drifted from its head like hair. Three lights glowed on its forehead, forming an inverted triangle. Its eyes glowed yellow, watching the two of you carefully. “You are trespassing,” it said in a masculine but robotic voice, “In the name of the Royal Family of Hyrule, surrender or perish.” The Guardian’s eyes shifted to deep blue with a terrifying chime, as a red targeting reticle appeared on Link’s chest.
“RUUUUN!” You shouted, grabbing Link just in time as a blast of energy narrowly missed his shoulder – and demolished the pot room. You pushed Link in front of you, running as fast as you could to put some distance between you and the Guardian as another beam of energy flew by your shoulder. You spread your wings as you hit the corner, catching yourself and dragging Link down another long hallway. You beat your wings, trying to keep steady and keep ahead of the Guardian, when you realized your feet were no longer touching the floor. Instead, you wrapped your arms under Link and pulled.
“Navi! You’re flying!” Link shouted. He couldn’t enjoy it for long. “Doors!”
You folded your wings in, becoming a living torpedo as you crashed through the doors at the end of the hallway and skidded on the smooth wooden floor. “Ow…” you groaned, sitting up. You’d crashed into what appeared to be a dojo. Training dummies and wooden training weapons lined the walls. There were also some round holes in the ground at seemingly random spots.
There wasn’t much time to rest; the Guardian was approaching fast. “Navi? Ideas?” Link asked, pulling out a bomb and chucking it at the Guardian. The bomb hardly slowed it down, and didn’t even leave a scratch. The smoke, however, threw off the tracking, as you could see the laser reticle search wildly until it burst from the smoke cloud.
“Try to distract it, I’ll think of something!” You shouted. Your eyes darted around the room until you saw a silver box on the wall. You scrambled over, as Link darted back from the Guardian’s blade. The silver box had a switch and several buttons laid out in a strange pattern; strange until you realized it matched with the holes on the floor. You threw the switch and pressed a button. With a whoosh of steam, a wooden pole shot out from the ground. “Perfect!”
The Guardian lunged at Link, only to smack into a wooden pole and stumble to the ground. It turned and tried again, only to run headlong into another. The Guardian seemed to growl as Link saw his chance, scoring a few quick strikes against it. The Guardian knocked him back and began to charge. You tried the poles again, but this time it was prepared, shredding through your wall with a spin attack.
This time, it shoulder checked Link before going after you. You narrowly dodged as it slammed its sword into the control box. You flipped back, swinging your tail at it, only to feel your tail stop short. You looked back. The Guardian had snatched your tail. “Uh oh.” It swung you around and around until the room became a blur before slamming you into the wall.
“Navi! Are you okay?!”
“I’ll get you next time Marioooo,” you drunkenly replied.
The Guardian jumped and plummeted down with a downward thrust, only to strike Link’s shield as he stood over you. The room spun as you looked up at the blurry Guardian above you, its eyes seeming to bounce all over the place. You tried to stop the spinning by grabbing your head.
The Guardian shifted, eyes flashing and the targeting reticle returned. All at once your dizziness disappeared as you came to a realization. “Link, your shield’s a mirror!”
Link didn’t need it to be spelled out. He braced, angling the shield just right as the beam shot out again, bouncing off the shield and back into the Guardian’s eyes. A string of strange beeps came out of the Guardian as it stumbled back, stunned if only for a moment. Link tossed you over his shoulder and ran to get some distance, throwing open a door and slamming it behind him. This one turned out to be a bedroom, and Link gently set you down on the bed.
“Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine, just rattled.” You sighed. “It’s figuring out everything we throw at it way too fast.”
“You’ll figure it out. You always do, Navi.”
“The eyes are definitely it’s weak point. It seems to be programmed to use moves like in the Knight Games,” you muttered. “But those tactics…”
“The best ones come from the ancient heroes,” Link finished. Then he smiled brightly. “Isn’t it awesome! It’s like fighting the best of the best!”
“Glad you’re enjoying it Link, but that doesn’t make things easier,” You muttered. “If it is operating off old techniques, maybe that means we need to show it something new. We’ll have to act fast once we have the window though, it didn’t take long for it to see through the wooden pole trick. I’m not sure if that mirror trick will work again either.”
Link was deep in thought. “What if… hmmm…” You nodded in encouragement. “Well, if it’s expecting the traditional, what if we stop copying the heroes? The last thing it’d be programmed to do is expect tactics like one of Ganondorf’s minions from the people who are supposed to save Hyrule, right?”
“I feel like it’s specifically programmed to fight Ganondorf’s minions if it’s defending this place.”
“Okay… so what if we just throw something completely crazy at it! Something neither Ganondorf nor the kings would expect.”
“It might throw it off just long enough for a clear shot at its eyes…” you said. “Great idea Link!” You kissed him and stood to pace, not realizing you left him with almost literal hearts in his eyes. “Only question now, is how? We’ll need something pretty unique.”
“You’re unique.”
“Thanks, but this isn’t the time for flirting,” you said, a tinge of embarrassment in your voice.
Link blushed. “No, I mean… you are, but like, you’re also a dragon. What if you let the dragon do the fighting?”
You stopped cold. “Link, are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Link took your hands. “You stopped me when I was under the spell and you’ve controlled it before. I trust you.” He gave you a little squeeze. “I’ll be there with you, promise.”
“I don’t even know how to.” Just then something slammed against the door.
“I don’t think you have a lot of time.” Link drew his bow. “I’ll hold him off. Just try. Please!” Link darted through the doors, driving the Guardian back by surprise.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “Okay… come on.” A fire danced behind your eyes and you could feel a presence. “Please just a little help.”
Why?
You shivered, not expecting a deep voice to respond to your plea. “Please, we need to get past that Guardian before Ganondorf. Link can’t beat it alone.”
The voice was quiet for a moment. Link hurt us before.
“Because of a curse,” you replied automatically, though the word “us” was a surprise.
You treat me like a curse. That threw you, but you bit your tongue. And it wasn’t just the curse with Link.
“But he moved on, and he’s trying to make things right. He’s fighting to protect us right now. He loves us, the way we are. He’s stayed with us, comforted us when we were hurting. He doesn’t see us as a monster.”
The voice was silent for a time. But you do. Aren’t you scared of me? Aren’t you the one saying I’ll bring the end of all things?
“I don’t know what to think anymore. All I know is that if we don’t do this, a lot of people are going to be hurt. I don’t know if you’re really the monster they say you are; you attacked Veran just as much as I wanted to. Maybe there’s some common ground we can agree on. So, I’ll take my chances. I trust Link.” You sighed. “I know you trust him too. That’s why you retreated when he asked, and why you relax when he’s around. I can feel it. And something tells me that Link trusts us both because he’s noticed.”
But do you trust yourself?
You grit your teeth. Just then, you heard Link shout as he was flung against a wall. “Please!”
The other presence twisted inside you. Fine.
You felt your teeth sharpen as your control seemed to drift away, your consciousness sinking back. Your wings flared as you fell to the ground on all fours, your spine contorting. With a snarl, your eyes seemed to disappear as the light was replaced by a black pool. You crawled forward, tail whipping back and forth. “Liiiiiink…” your voice growled out like steel and rocks grinding against each other. “Move!”
Link quickly shield-bashed the Guardian and scooted back, just in time. You launched forward, claws locking around the Guardian’s shoulders as you plowed it into the wall. You screeched in its face. As its eyes shifted to blue again to try and fire, you flipped it headfirst into the floor. The head and shoulders plunged through the wooden boards. It however, punched you in the face, pulling itself free. You slammed a claw down on its throat, pinning it to the loose floor. You roared in victory.
“Navi!”
You snarled at Link, but the dragon within recoiled, seeing the Master Sword. Link leaped in the air, slamming his sword into the Guardian’s eye. The Guardian twisted and writhed before falling limp against the floor. Link yanked his sword free and turned to you. You snarled and arched your back, pushing back against the wall, trying desperately to get away from the sword that burned.
“It’s okay,” Link said softly. He sheathed the sword and held out his hands. You hissed again, pressing against the wall. “It’s okay, it’s just me. Right Navi? You remember me, don’t you?”
You slowly closed your jaw and lowered your wings. You crept forward slightly as Link took your head in his hands, gently rubbing your scales. “See, it’s just me,” he soothed. He knelt before you, looking deep into your dark eyes. A flicker of blue light reflected off his face. He ran his hands back over your neck as your spine popped and realigned to a more human shape. You fell forward into him as he guided your mouth to his in a gentle kiss. “There we go. There’s my Navi.”
You leaned against Link, exhausted. “That was… something. I’d prefer not to do that again.”
“Hopefully you won’t have to,” Link said. “But you did so good.” You leaned into his touch again, a happy purr coming from your throat.
However, it was short lived. The Guardian twitched. Instantly, you stood, taking Link with you. Link drew his sword and you raised a claw as the Guardian stood once more, its eye repairing itself. With almost blinding speed, the Guardian launched towards the two of you, deploying a new sword from its hands. Yet, right at the last moment, the Guardian stopped. Link kept his sword raised but cocked his head. “Um… hello?”
The Guardian straightened and sheathed its sword. “Sword Trial Protocol terminated. Ultimate Test of Strength: Complete. New Hero of Hyrule determined to be ready.”
“It was a test?!” Link blurted out.
“Affirmative.”
“Oh, that’s good then,” you sighed with relief. The Guardian wasn’t finished, however. Its head swiveled in your direction. “Uh oh.”
“Scanning… Anomaly detected.”
“Wait, wait!” Link said. “He’s a good guy! Don’t hurt him!”
The Guardian’s eyes then glowed soft blue and there was a chime. “Scan complete. Royal Family DNA detected.”
“The fuck?” Link murmured.
The Guardian knelt before you. Somehow, its eyes seemed softer and its voice lost its mechanical edge. “Please call me if you should ever need me, your majesty.” A panel in the ceiling folded back and a hook descended, carrying the Guardian back up as it folded back into a smaller form.
Link broke the silence. “The hell was that?”
“I… I’m not sure what to say.”
“How about starting with what it meant by you being a royal?”
“I can’t.”
“Navi, please. You said you weren’t going to hide stuff.”
“No, Link…” You huffed. “I physically can’t tell you.”
“What do you…” His frustration evaporated. “The curse. Right. So… there’s a third royal…” You wanted to scream the obvious at him, but instead you grabbed him and hugged him tightly. Then all of a sudden, he giggled. “I’m dating a prince.”
“Technically I’m not a prince,” you protested, but soon you found yourself being bridal-carried, wings and all.
“A badass dragon prince!” Link beamed. Part of you wanted to remind him that the dragon part was not a good thing, but the way he looked at you banished any dark thoughts. Even the draconic presence inside you felt a little flustered at the attention, curling happily inside your chest.
Speaking of your dragon side, you weren’t sure what to make of what it said. That was not the voice of some mindless killer, it sounded more like it was hurt and scared. It sure didn’t seem like a doomsday harbinger. Was it a trick? Was it telling the truth? It was hard to say for now, but the most important part was that you and Link had prevailed.
A chime echoed through the halls. Well done. The feminine voice returned. This time however it sounded much less mechanical. Gotta say, not the solution I expected. Ah well, either way, you’re the real deal alright. You and I should have a little chat. Make your way downstairs, I’ll unlock the final door once you get here.
With the Guardian gone, the bars over the windows and entrance remained, but the wall behind you trembled, and rolled to the side, revealing another set of double doors. Unlike the rest of the house so far, these were dirty and tarnished, clearly not having been touched by anyone for years. “Well, here we go,” Link said, setting you down. The two of you threw pushed hard, forcing the rusted hinges open inch by inch.
A long staircase greeted you, curling down into the mountain. At the bottom, you found a storage room. There were a few boxes and several casks of wine… and a body crumpled on the floor. You froze, not from the cold, but because you instantly recognized the body.
“Wait,” Link said, stepping forward. “[Y/n]?”
==============================
A/n: This Guardian fight (well, the entire Snowpeak section over the next few chapters really) has been something I’ve been looking forward to since I started the story. I figured nothing better to protect a royal residence than something that’s literally called a Guardian. Obviously this is partially designed after the Knight Construct from Age of Imprisonment, but I wanted this modern Guardian to reflect multiple iterations. That’s why it has both Sheikah and Zonai tech elements, as well as some callbacks (mainly in shape) to the Guardians from Skyward Sword. It may have also been slightly foreshadowed to the background appearances of Twilight Princess’s Guardians in Temple of Time. This isn’t the last time we’ve seen it, so I’ll talk a bit more about it later.
By the way, if you haven’t already seen, the poll for the next long-form story is live! Please check out “Dream Seed: All Aboard” for an introduction to the poll options (skip to part 2 or the Story Samples if you want to skip the anniversary story). The poll will be open until June 3rd, and the winner will be announced in Chapter 26 (and the final bonus chapter of Super Royal Assistant too). Thanks to everyone who have already voted!
Next time, a fun one as we see if I can manage to do that chapter without spilling the beans for the ending of the fic a little too early.
Super Royal Assistant! - Special World 2: Unfinished Business
Previous < First > Next
Encouraged by your husband to take a break from being a "good guy" for a bit, you decide to revisit some of your former enemies and get a little revenge.
AO3
Wattpad
or below!
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“Okay, this is a new one,” Bowser muttered, blindfolded and hands tied.
“Aww c’mon honey,” you teased. “you kidnapped me, so I thought I’d return the favor for once!”
“Har har. Are we on an airship? Also I don’t recall ever kidnapping you then sitting on your lap.”
You happily cuddled into his lap. “One, yes, an airship. Two, well, I think the answer to you not sitting on me is obvious.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
“Big and beefy, actually. I’d say more, but the kids are here.”
“I figured that. You clearly had help.”
Your personal Dark Koopatrol guards approached and saluted. “Sir, we will be landing momentarily.”
“Thanks Reggie,” you said. “Could you please take us to the north dock? I think if we use the south, it’ll freak some people out.”
“Already planning to, sir.”
“And that’s why you’re the best.”
“You got the minions in on it too?” Bowser muttered.
You shrugged, not that he could see it. “They were on board. Said you needed a proper break after everything.” Bowser stewed, partly in frustration and partly in pride at being outmaneuvered by his husband. You snapped your fingers and called out to your other guard. “Hey Bill, did we get the call?”
“No sir, but I expect we’ll hear once we land. Communications with the island have been spotty.”
“Unfortunate but understandable. We’ll prepare for landing.”
“Aye sir!” With that the Koopatrols saluted and returned to the bridge.
Meanwhile, the gears in Bowser’s head were turning. “Island? And I know I heard the squeak of Iggy’s favorite pool-toy…”
“I told you not to bring it!” Lemmy hissed in the background.
“It’s not fair! You get to bring your beach ball!” Iggy whined.
“Guys,” you said with a warning tone, and the two simmered down. You turned your attention back to your husband. “What’s wrong with a little beach vacation?”
“Nothing,” Bowser said, “though a bit surprised the kids are here considering what I’d want to do…”
“Oh? And what would that be…?”
“Stop! Cease! Desist!” Wendy shouted, followed by retching noises from the older kids.
The engines throttled down as you could see your destination out the porthole. “Nerd,” Bowser continued, “I’m just sayin’ if we’re going where I think we’re going… I don’t want to cause an international incident.”
“Don’t worry about it, already taken care of,” you said, pulling out the bundle of passports for the family. A mischievous twinkle lit up in your eye as you looked out at Isle Delfino below.
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“Nerd…” Bowser said, as the Koopalings and Prince Luma rushed into the hotel. “Why are we at the Crown Delfino?”
“Surprise,” you said with a grin. “The Crown Delfino is finally open for business! Peach and I finally negotiated a treaty with the ambassador from Isle Delfino so everything is back open, and they plan to make amends for the – ahem – lapse of judgment.”
“That’s great honey! I knew you could do it… Wait, how’d it get past the inspection?” Bowser muttered. “Even after the embargo, they kept coming up with bullshit reasons to fail the inspection.”
“I don’t think a lack of guardrails around the hot tub is a bullshit reason, but the rest, sure.” You had to shake your head, considering most of the other complaints were bordering on frankly racist policies against Koopas.
You turned and Bowser was suddenly leering down at you. “Nerd, what did you do?”
“Why do you think I did something?”
He narrowed his eyes. “[Y/n], you’re one of the few people as crafty as Peach and I.” He leaned closer until he could glare right into your soul. “What. Did. You. Do?”
You winced. “Okay, maybe I might’ve done something small…”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Okay maybe a bit bigger, but it’s nothing bad!” He simply glowered at you. “Okay, okay, so you know how I’ve got diplomatic immunity now being an ambassador and all?”
Bowser’s eyebrow raised. “Go on.”
“Well, I might’ve pulled a string here or there to… encourage proper justice?”
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It was well after midnight. You had come via the Toad Express 1 in the dead of night for the meeting. You stood in the back alleyway when the two Isle Delfino police officers finally arrived. “You Blue?” The sergeant asked.
“Keep your voice down. Use that name for me again, and I promise you’ll be at the bottom of the harbor within the hour.”
“Listen punk,” the junior officer snarled. “You don’t get off telling us that.” You rolled your eyes and snapped your fingers. Suddenly, two bulky yellow Piantas in fine suits stepped out from the shadows and grabbed him.
The sergeant remained silent as you looked down at the officer coldly. “I think you ought to pick your words very carefully. You’ve been throwing your weight around like you run this place. I think you’ve forgotten there are much bigger fish in this pond than you and your boss.”
“Listen you fa-” His mouth was gagged by a durian.
“Some people,” you sighed, rubbing your temples. “You need to learn some manners. Gentlemen… Take him to the pachinko parlor.” The screams of the officer were muffled, but his eyes darted in a panic.
The sergeant sweated, looking nervously at you. “You, uh, have friends in high places.”
“You could say that, but I think you’ll find I’m in quite a high place myself. Several friends of mine have a very vested interest in making sure Isle Delfino is cleaned up,” You turned to him, straightening your tie. “Now, you’re going to stop this nonsense investigation of the new Crown Delfino hotel at Corona Mountain.”
“But-”
“Unless you want to join your friend, you’ll do as I ask. Your bosses want the embargo lifted so Isle Delfino stops suffering, right? Well, I’d be happy to speak on your behalf to the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms to negotiate a reprieve, but I think your bosses had better beg on their knees to Princess Peach first. That is, unless you want to see Isle Delfino look like Kremling Island within the month.” You then let out a dark laugh, “Oh what am I saying? Kremling Island is gonna look like Fortune Street compared to this dump if you don’t start kissing a lot of ass. So, be a good officer, go report to your bosses, and if I even hear a peep about you or your jackass partner abusing your authority again, the pachinko parlor will be the least of your worries, capisce?”
“Y-yes sir.”
“Good. Now scram.”
The sergeant made a hasty retreat. Meanwhile, Tony stepped out from the shadow, putting away a gun. He whistled low. “Yous still got da touch, Blue.”
“I learned from the best,” you said, shaking his hand. “Thanks for the help. This hotel means a lot to Bowser.”
“Sure you don’t wanna come and help da Boss anymore?”
“I’ve got a family to think about now Tony, but thanks. And please pass on my thanks to the Boss.”
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“…so yeah, thought I might use a little to try and help get Junior’s hotel going again.”
You braced yourself for Bowser’s disappointment, but instead you found yourself scooped up in his arms. “You’re amazing.”
“You’re not upset?”
“Upset? Did you forget who the hell I am? I freakin’ love that my husband’s just as diabolical as I am!”
“I’m not sure how to feel about that…”
“It’s a compliment!” Bowser beamed, spinning and swinging you in his arms with glee. “So, what’re you gonna do next?”
“Next? I mean, I think I’m kinda good just using my less-than-legal connections to make sure the hotel’s good to go.”
“Aww c’mon, you have to think bigger! You’ve got diplomatic immunity, you could really use it to do some great stuff! Think of all those people who’ve driven you crazy. Don’t you just wanna stop being the good guy for one day? Cut loose, be a supervillain and fucking enjoy it!”
“Well…”
“C’mon, my star. I know you’ve got that little evil side. Just indulge it, just this once…”
You crossed your arms. “Um, well, there might be a little revenge I’ve been dreaming of...”
Bowser laughed. “Perfect, this is gonna be fun. Who’s first?”
You smiled. “You could say I’ve got a little list…”
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Kamek agreed to watch the kids while you and Bowser rushed off to your first destination. You weren’t kidding when you said you had a list. Sure, the big ones (aka King Koopa and King K. Rool) were mostly taken care of, but there were several others out there who had either wronged you, Bowser, the kids, or your friends… or all of the above.
Your first stop was in Poshley Heights. “Not a bad place to start, my star,” Bowser muttered as you walked through the gilded streets, “but why here? You got some billionaire to deal with?”
“Not exactly, though let’s put a pin in that idea.” Elsewhere in the city, the golden billionaire Goldbob sneezed. “No, Ms. Mowz told me we should find them right around here…” You passed by the hedges to the park around the Poshley Sanctum to find quite the unusual sight. A handful of X-Nauts and Lord Crump stood around the robotic head of Grodus.
“Morbid,” Bowser muttered as you approached.
Grodus noticed you first. “You… I should have dealt with you when I had the chance.”
“Big words from a fishbowl,” you said peering down at him. You then took stock of the remaining members. “So this is what remains of your incel cult.” At the mention of incel, you made a mental note to make another stop later.
“We’re not a cult!” Lord Crump shouted. “Your feeble minds can’t process the machinations of-”
“You literally resurrected a centuries old demon to possess a princess you captured, but instead picked my husband and in the process, literally raised the dead,” Bowser said.
“Well when you put it like that…”
Grodus’ head – or what remained of it – bounced indignantly. “Regardless! Mark my words, the X-Nauts will rise again and claim our rightful spot as rulers of this pathetic world.”
“Yeah no,” you said, pulling out your hammer and setting it on top of his head, cracking the glass. “That’s why I’m here. See, I’m really not thrilled with being forced into being possessed by a demon which then led to months of trauma for my husband and my friends. On top of that, you kidnapped my boss, who happens to be one of my close friends.”
“So what? You’re here to gloat with your… normal-sized body?” Grodus grumbled. “Crump, take care of him!”
Lord Crump put up his fists, but you simply turned to him with a hand sparkling with magic. Bowser cracked his knuckles as well. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Crump. Especially after you insulted my king,” you said with a dark look.
“Whuh? Uh, let’s not get hasty here…” Lord Crump stumbled back. “What’re you gonna do?”
You grinned. “I’m just here to make sure the X-Nauts never reform.”
“And how do you plan to do that?” Grodus spat from under your hammer. “The X-Nauts are a true grassroots movement. You might get one of us, but ten more will take their place.”
“Mhmm, that’s why there’s only six of you left.”
“Our agents are hidden everywhere, there’s nothing you can do to stop us! Grack ack ack ack ack… what are you doing?” You tapped Grodus’ head over on the side. “Turn me back over, stop this!”
“My king, if you’d be so kind?” you asked sweetly.
“Anything for you, my star.”
You hooked your hammer underneath Grodus and flung him up into the air. Bowser wound up his fist and slammed into Grodus’ head, sending him rocketing through the sky until he disappeared with naught but a twinkle in the afternoon light. You turned back to the others, leaning on your hammer. “Now, as I was saying about disbanding for good?”
“Y-you don’t scare u-us!” Lord Crump stammered. “R-right guys?!” He turned but the remaining X-Nauts had fled, leaving their uniforms in a pile behind. “Wait?! Guys?!”
“Hmmm, one little X-Naut left to stomp,” Bowser growled, stomping forward with cinders hissing from his mouth. “My star, you wouldn’t mind if I take care of this last one, would you?”
“AIYEEE!!” Lord Crump shrieked, tripping and scrambling over himself to skedaddle away. However, as luck would have it, he managed to run straight into a beautiful wealthy Boo, who you recognized as one of Mario’s friends. Lord Crump had all of two seconds before Lady Bow beat the daylights out of him with her fan.
“Well that’s less fun,” Bowser muttered.
“You still got to punch Grodus, I bet you sent him into the atmosphere!”
“You think? Maybe I should’ve tried out the Home Run Contest after all.”
You had to laugh. “Y’know, speaking of atmosphere, I remember I need to pay a little visit to someone who wronged Luigi.”
“Need help?”
“Not on this one… I think I got it.”
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“I must say, I’m rather chuffed that you’ve finally come to visit us, [Y/n],” Eldstar said, guiding you along the starry walkways of the Star Haven. “It will be good to have open relationships again with both the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms.”
“Oh, well thank you again for having me,” you said politely, looking forward to a nice glass of tea with the leader of the Star Spirits.
“I have so much to show you, between Star Haven and the Dream Depot. It’s hard to decide where to start! But, if you ask me, I’m quite partial to starting with a dream. I hope you have a sweet tooth, wait until you see Sweet Dream!”
You came to a star-shaped gate, blocking you from the inner parts of the Star Haven. “Ah, one moment, open Star Gate!” Eldstar commanded.
The Star Gate opened its eyes. “I cannot vouch for the other one’s purity. Is he worthy to enter?”
Before Eldstar could respond, you stepped forward. An evil glint flashed in your eyes. “Oh, you’re the one! You’re the glorified block that said my friend Luigi wasn’t pure of heart, aren’t you?”
The Star Gate frowned. “I certainly don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t play dumb with me. Back during the whole Colbalt Star and Shroob mess, you blocked him from crossing, pretending that my best friend isn’t pure of heart, when literally everything he does is to help his brother or his friends!”
“I hardly see how that matters to me.” The Star Gate sniffed. “And personally, I don’t know if I could consider you pure of heart either.”
“Oh, you don’t have to. I happen to have cosmic proof I’m pure enough considering I literally stopped a black hole by recharging objects literally called Pure Hearts. Wonder how well you hold up...” you said with a grin, producing your hammer.
“You foolish human, a hammer can’t hu-OOOWW!!” The Star Gate winced as your hammer actually dented his face. “How?! You’re a human, you shouldn’t be able to do that!”
You spun your hammer with a little flourish; your star magic sparkling along the mallet. “Funny what a little magic can do. Rosalina’s been awfully helpful with teaching me how to control it.” You wound up again, smacking the gate. “Apologize!”
“OW!! Aren’t you going to stop this?!”
Eldstar blinked, disinterested. “Oh, no. You called this on yourself. Besides, it could be worse, you could’ve seen what he did to Starlow after she badmouthed both Luigi and Bowser. Ah well, she’ll fall out of orbit sometime…”
You meanwhile wound up again. “I’m not hearing an apology!”
“I-it was a test! I was testing… errr… what’s his name?”
You glowered at the door. “You… you forgot his name?” You reached into your pocket, producing a Super Mushroom. “I was saving this for the honeymoon, but desperate times…”
The Star Gate paled as you and your hammer grew larger. “No, wait! Wait! WAAAAAAIIITT!!”
==============================
“Hello?” Bowser said into his phone. The two of you returned to the hotel to let you get a little rest before continuing on your revenge rampage.
“Bowser! Thank the stars, okay, I need you to do something about your husband!”
“Whoa, King Boo, slow down, what’s going on? And what the hell do you mean? [Y/n]’s asleep on the couch right now.”
“THE HELL HE IS!” The spectral regent shouted back. “He’s standing outside my mansion with a Poltergust!”
Bowser looked at you, curled under a blanket, suddenly wondering if he had the real you. “He’s just… standing there?”
“Yeah, but… menacingly! He keeps laughing to himself and turning the flashlight on and off.”
Bowser rubbed his temples. “Boo… when was the last time you got a nap?”
“Not for the past thirty-six hours since he’s been standing out there this whole time! How can I sleep?! Hasn’t he heard of Rest in Peace?!”
“Ugh… try. Try to get some rest.” Bowser hung up the phone and turned, peering down at your not-so-sleeping form. “Okay, why and how.”
“Had to get back at him after all the times he’s messed with Luigi and the whole thing at the castle,” you said, refusing to open your eyes. “And did you know Doopliss has really cheap rates for impersonation?”
“You picked the bastard that copied you? I figured he’d be on your list.”
You shrugged. “Flurrie vouches for him. Turns out the poor guy was pretty repressed and maladjusted. He gets a pass.” You then raised a finger. “Once.”
“Fair enough,” Bowser muttered, scooping you up in his arms. “C’mon nerd, it’ll be more comfortable in an actual bed.”
“So you can cuddle me?”
“Duh.”
==============================
Corporal Paraplonk sighed. “Man, I can’t believe we’re still stuck on cleanup duty.” He leaned against the rail of the capital airship as he worked on polishing it up.
Private Goomp set down a fresh pile of clean rags. “This sucks. I wanna do some cool stuff again.”
“Maybe they’ll let us back out into the field again if we do a good job,” Sergeant Guy said, rubbing some wood polish on the deck.
All three sighed. “Who are we kidding?” Private Goomp whined. “We’ll be stuck on cleaning until retirement!”
“If only we didn’t try to double-cross Bowser!” Corporal Paraplonk said. “See this is all your fault!”
“My fault?!” Sergeant Guy asked.
“Yeah! You’re the one who said we’d be making better benefits with Fawful and should trust him!”
“Only after you asked me who had the better benefits! Bowser definitely had the better take home, and I told you we could be tried for treason!”
“Oh, now you mention treason!”
“Actually,” Private Goomp said, “we’re kinda lucky they didn’t throw us in jail for that.”
“I’m not sure what would be worse,” Sergeant Guy trembled. “Jail or what happened when Bowser’s new husband got a hold of us.”
“Jail was definitely the worse option!” Corporal Paraplonk gasped. “Do you know what they do to guys like me in there? One wrong move and it’s all Wow, look at your soft wings, sweetie!”
“You’re flattering yourself,” Sergeant Guy muttered.
Private Goomp sighed again, leaning against the rag pile. “Still. Sucks what Mr. Koopa made us do. Cleaning from dawn til dusk… talk about cruel! If he wasn’t the boss’s husband, I’d tell him just where to put his stupid cleaning supplies!”
“Yeah! You’re right! So what if it was a little double cross?” Corporal Paraplonk shouted. “This menial work is beneath us! We’re the Elite Trio, and we deserve respect!”
“Guys,” Sergeant Guy muttered.
“Yeah, you’re right Corporal! We deserve proper recognition, and we won’t stand for this!”
“Guys…”
“I’m gonna march right up to him and tell him what I think!”
“GUYS!” The other two stopped, noticing Sergeant Guy had gone very still. He pointed a shaky hand towards the hotel window, where you were watching while sipping a cup of tea.
“O-o-on second thought,” Corporal Paraplonk stammered. “I think he’s very gracious for not locking us up for treason!”
“Y-yeah!” Private Goomp added. “Or attacking us with his star magic!”
“He has star magic?”
“I dunno, that’s what Reg said.”
“Wow, dodged the Bullet Bill on that one.”
Meanwhile, on the other side of the thick glass, Bowser joined you, watching in confusion as the Elite Trio now polished and shined at lightning speed. “What did you do to them?”
“Nothing,” you said, just as confused. The glass was so thick it wasn’t like you could hear their conversation. “I was just enjoying my tea and watching them. I was gonna tell them they were doing a good job.”
Bowser shrugged. “Well, if it makes them do their work…”
==============================
“Nooooooo, you can’t! This is torture, Sebastian!”
“This is the dumbest one,” Bowser muttered, as he sat on the couch, served by kitten maid robots.
“Not my name,” you glared at the chameleon. All things considered this was one of the worst offenders. “My name is [Y/n], and you’re going to respect that. Now, I believe we’re going to reach a little deal.”
Francis trembled as you held his mint, sealed and graded copy of the Grodus Chronicles Issue #1 tie-in comic just out of reach. “Y-y-you’re getting it too warm! The heat from your hand is gonna devalue it!”
“Oh calm down, I’m wearing gloves,” you sighed. “I’m here though because Princess Peach has been getting a flurry of random, creepy emails from a certain stalker. Know anything about that?”
“N-no of course not!” You took the corner of the sealed package and pulled out a pocket knife. “NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!!”
“So you’re saying that you had nothing to do with it? The email address which was easily tracked back to your IP address, you had nothing to do with?”
Francis whimpered and shook his head. You let the pocket knife get closer as he let out a keening wail. “You’re no fan of the Grodus Chronicles if you’d threaten that!”
“One, never said I was. Two, definitely not after fighting the actual X-Nauts, dealing with those incels was no fun. Three, this comic was literally given out at fast food places for free. Four, Toad Force V is clearly the superior sci-fi show.”
“Toad Force V?! You’re clearly just a poseur and a larper!” Francis sniffed. “The Grodus Chronicles may be a spin-off, but it’s clearly superior. You see, you have to have a high IQ to properly enjoy the show-”
“And you’re trying my patience and avoiding the topic, so...” You said as you slid the pocket knife through the plastic sleeve.
“NOOOOOOO!!” Francis wailed. “You monster!!”
“Oh please, I didn’t even touch the comic. You set it aside, and instead picked up a small trading card. “Now let’s see here, if you don’t want me to open every bit of merch and memorabilia you have, let’s return to the point.”
“No, that’s my triple-S rare holo Admiral Bobbery catch card with alternate grieving art! Only ten were made!” Francis whimpered. “Okay I admit it, the emails were from me!”
“Ah good, we’re getting somewhere.”
“Hey nerd,” Bowser asked. “Why not just… y’know, go after his figurines?”
To be fair, there was a massive figurine collection along the wall in a glass case. A shiver shot down your spine. “You couldn’t pay me enough to touch those.”
“What are you implying?!” Francis shouted.
“You know damn well what I’m implying,” you shot back. “Now, I assume you understand why your emails are wrong.”
“But I was just letting her know that she’s a totally hawt babe. What’s wrong with that?”
“Wrong answer,” you said, tearing the plastic sleeve and sending Francis into another round of hysterics. You dropped the card unceremoniously on the table, ever so slightly warped from your grip. You then picked up a sealed manga in a plastic case. “What’s the point if you can’t enjoy it,” you muttered, but then shook your head. “Back on track, women are not there to suit your gaze and unwanted attention like that just comes off as pervy! You will cease the messages immediately!”
“But she never said to stop.”
“She quite literally blocked you and five of your alternative accounts.”
“Oh… well I…” You slid the knife into the plastic case, cracking it open bit by bit. “Sebastian no!” Suddenly he paled. “Wait, no, I didn’t mean tha-” It was too late, you shattered the plastic case, leaving the manga open to the air. You set it down – gasp – unprotected onto the table. “NOOOOOOO!”
You waited for his sobs to die down. “Now, I think you understand that this email business is going to stop, right?”
“F-fine! I promise! I won’t talk to her anymore.”
“And I expect you’ll be far more respectful to other women in the future, correct? Because believe me, you’re lucky I’m here and not someone like Princess Daisy. This castle would’ve been smoldering ashes by now if she had.”
“But…” You ran your knife along the edge of the manga. “Y-yes! I promise! No more messages like that to women!”
“Good, I…” your voice trailed off as you noticed a mechanical butterfly in a cage in the corner of his desk, sadly flapping its wings. “Oh my stars, please tell me you didn’t…”
“Well, I was missing my schweet Francine so I made a robotic babe duplicate. What’s wrong with that?”
“I don’t know where to start with that,” you muttered.
I prefer to be called Tiptron. A mechanical voice came from the butterfly.
“Isn’t she pretty?” Francis cooed.
The butterfly sighed. I prefer to identify as nonbinary. Please free me.
“Yeah, getting there, just processing,” you muttered. You lifted the cage, freeing Tiptron. As they settled on your shoulder you turned back to Francis. “Okay, crimes against life aside, you realize this is wrong too, right?”
“I… guess…”
You smacked your forehead. “Okay, out of patience. I tried! Bowser?” You tossed the manga to your husband, who easily incinerated it in air. “No more Francis! Got it? Otherwise the rest of your collection will go up in flame like that.”
Francis couldn’t answer through his sobs, but nodded.
“I’m glad we could reach an agreement. If you attempt to contact Princess Peach again or any of my friends like that, just remember I know where to find you. No more robotic duplicates either. If I have to come back, I’ll have to break out the big guns.” You folded the knife and put it away, but not before shooting a glare at his game collection. “And one last thing… Say my name.”
“[Y/n]!!”
“Damn straight.”
You turned to leave and Bowser stood to follow, but not before pretending to wind up a punch that made Francis flinch. He shook his head and joined you. “God, I was down bad before but I hope I was never that pathetic.”
“Nope,” you said, stretching up to give him a quick kiss. “You didn’t try to sexually harass Peach via email. I needed a shower after reading those... Though the song probably was pushing it.”
“You’re just mad I never wrote a song like that for you.”
You gave him an evil grin. “Never? So all those drafts that were tossed in the trash weren’t for me but some other guy named [Y/n]?”
“W-wh?! How?! How did you know about those?! Was it Kamek? The kids?”
“I’m not gonna snitch on my informants,” you said, making a mental note to give a little extra allowance to Iggy and Lemmy. “And here I was worried some other guy had stolen your heart…”
Bowser snatched you up in his claws with a huff, holding you at eye-level. “You’re playin’ a dangerous game, nerd.”
You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his snout. “Like I said before, my love. You’re fun to rile up. And I promise to make it up to you after I take care of one more little problem.”
==============================
“Hey nerd? You ready for some peak cuddling?” Bowser called. He set a bowl of popcorn down on the couch but you were nowhere to be seen. “Nerd? My star?”
Instead, you came around the corner with a friend. “Sorry honey, gonna have to hold off for just a little longer. One last person on the list.”
“Hi Bowser!” Luigi said, carrying some blankets.
“Uh, hey?” Bowser replied in confusion. “Um, nerd? Where are you going? And why’s Luigi here?”
“Technically, I’m not going too far.” You heaved your hammer onto your shoulder. “Junior’s having nightmares again and so I talked to Broque Monsieur who talked to this Dr. Snoozemore guy. Long story short, Luigi and I are gonna take care of a little issue with the guy who’s bothering Junior.”
Bowser raised an eyebrow, eyes falling towards the stone pillow in your arms and Luigi’s glass of warm milk. “And… Luigi falling asleep is gonna help with that?”
“Well, yeah. I gotta get into the Dream World somehow. Daisy even made him an ASMR playlist.” To be honest, you didn’t expect Daisy of all people to be so good at whispering. Much to your surprise, she had several million subscribers for her cosplay roleplay audios.
“Ooo-kay,” your husband said. “Do you need my help?”
“Think we’ll be good, right Luigi?”
“Oh yeah.” Luigi then raised a finger. “Wait, we might need him to pull my mustache or tickle my nose every now and then.”
“Mmm, good point,” you agreed.
Bowser just stared. “What the…”
“Don’t worry honey, I’ll be back before you know it. Okay Luigi! Let’s get some Z’s!”
“Okie dokie!” Luigi said, setting the pillow down and slipping on his headphones. His head barely touched the pillow before he was sawing logs. Suddenly, a rainbow portal appeared above his head.
You laughed evilly as you smacked your hammer into your hand. “Oh An-taaaaas-ma, come out and pla-a-ay!”
Bowser stared as you jumped into the portal. He could have sworn he heard screams of a bat wizard deep inside and just shook his head. “Can’t tell if I’m more worried or more turned on…”
==============================
A/n: To be honest, that last bit with Antasma almost made it into the main story, though it wouldn’t have worked out timeline-wise. The section with the Delfino cops was actually the original hint at Blue back in the Sunshine chapter. I decided to swap it with the chat with Don Pianta as it flowed better, and I think created some better tension. That said, had too much fun with it and had to reuse it somewhere.
By the way, if you haven’t already seen, the poll for the next long-form story is live! Please check out “Dream Seed: All Aboard” for an introduction to the poll options (skip to part 2 or the Story Samples if you want to skip the anniversary story). The poll will be open until June 3rd, and the winner will be announced in the final bonus chapter of this story (as well as Chapter 26 of Shadows of Hyrule). Thanks to everyone who have already voted!
Next time, a bit of an unusual chapter as we take a look at some classified research on some anomalies from Kamek’s desk, including a rather infamous pink crown powerup.
Hi all! Another double update coming this week, though it will be delayed to Saturday (5/9). Got lucky and caught the flu so my writing speed is not quite up to the usual pace.
I have some short previews though for both under the cut! For Super Royal Assistant, we'll be seeing some old not-so-friendly faces as we dish out a little karma here and there. For Shadows of Hyrule, it's off to the royal residence known as Snowpeak... but you didn't expect that place to be left unguarded right?
Super Royal Assistant: S-2 Unfinished Business
It was well after midnight. You had come via the Toad Express 1 in the dead of night for the meeting. You stood in the back alleyway when the two Isle Delfino police officers finally arrived. “You Blue?” The sergeant asked.
“Keep your voice down. Use that name for me again, and I promise you’ll be at the bottom of the harbor within the hour.”
“Listen punk,” the junior officer snarled. “You don’t get off telling us that.” You rolled your eyes and snapped your fingers. Suddenly, two bulky yellow Piantas in fine suits stepped out from the shadows and grabbed him.
The sergeant remained silent as you looked down at the officer coldly. “I think you ought to pick your words very carefully. You’ve been throwing your weight around like you run this place. I think you’ve forgotten there are much bigger fish in this pond than you and your boss.”
“Listen you fa-” His mouth was gagged by a durian.
“Some people,” you sighed, rubbing your temples. “You need to learn some manners. Gentlemen… Take him to the pachinko parlor.” The screams of the officer were muffled, but his eyes darted in a panic.
The sergeant sweated, looking nervously at you. “You, uh, have friends in high places.”
“You could say that, but I think you’ll find I’m in quite a high place myself. Several friends of mine have a very vested interest in making sure Isle Delfino is cleaned up,” You turned to him, straightening your tie. “Now, you’re going to stop this nonsense investigation of the new Crown Delfino hotel at Corona Mountain.”
“But-”
“Unless you want to join your friend, you’ll do as I ask. Your bosses want the embargo lifted so Isle Delfino stops suffering, right? Well, I’d be happy to speak on your behalf to the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms to negotiate a reprieve, but I think your bosses had better beg on their knees to Princess Peach first. That is, unless you want to see Isle Delfino look like Kremling Island within the month.” You then let out a dark laugh, “Oh what am I saying? Kremling Island is gonna look like Poshley Heights compared to this dump if you don’t start kissing a lot of ass. So, be a good officer, go report to your bosses, and if I even hear a peep about you or your jackass partner abusing your authority again, the pachinko parlor will be the least of your worries, capisce?”
“Y-yes sir.”
“Good. Now scram.”
The sergeant made a hasty retreat. Meanwhile, Tony stepped out from the shadow, putting away a gun. He whistled low. “Yous still got da touch, Blue.”
“I learned from the best,” you said, shaking his hand. “Thanks for the help. This hotel means a lot to Bowser.”
“Sure you don’t wanna come and help da Boss anymore?”
“I’ve got a family to think about now Tony, but thanks. And please pass on my thanks to the Boss.”
==============================
Shadows of Hyrule: Ch 22 [Snow]peak Manor
The frozen manor doors squealed as you forced it open. Link whistled. “So, this is a royal residence… surprised it’s still standing.”
“Magic, most likely,” you said, feeling a bit of a tingle in the air. The Manor seemed untouched by anything but the cold after all this time. Even the walls were free of cobwebs, instead marked with spiderlike frost. Your footsteps echoed on the icy wood boards as the two of you crossed the foyer. A chandelier hung over the double staircase. “It’s certainly what you think of when you hear ‘palace’…”
“Lucky royals.”
You frowned. “If Ganondorf’s interested in it, they hid something fancy here. And since the Champion King once wielded the Master Sword… it’s likely big.”
You pushed through the foyer doors into a large living room, likely where guests were greeted. The stone fireplace magically roared to life as you entered, starting to warm the chilly room. Like the foyer, everything was oddly clean, save the touch of frost here and there.
“Look at this.” You followed Link to a large oil painting, surprisingly well-preserved in the cold. Two men sat side by side, gazing with pure adoration at each other. One looked shockingly like an older Link and the other… “He looks like him,” Link said. “He looks just like [Y/n].”
You wanted nothing more than to tell him you were fine, that you had been here beside him the whole time. All you could offer was your hand and a simple, “I know we’ll find him.”
You held Link’s hand as the two of you continued to explore the various rooms. Each stop only made the strange state of the manor more apparent. It looked as if everything had been just the way it was when it was last used. “Either Komadoh is super good at her job, or we’re missing something,” Link muttered.
“Yeah, like where are the magic artifacts?” You replied. “We must’ve been through half the rooms by now, and there’s not a sign of anything.”
Eventually, you came to a sort of storage room. Where you expected to find the magic artifacts or at least maybe some linens or old paintings, you instead found shelf upon shelf of pots. All of them were the same size with the same perfect glazing. “That’s weird,” you murmured to yourself, ready to leave, when you felt Link stop. “Link?” Your boyfriend stared at the pots, almost enraptured. “Link?” you asked again.
Link shook his head. “Sorry what?”
“You… like the pots?”
“Oh, I mean… y’know,” he blushed. “Don’t you just wanna… break them?”
“Link, you can’t.”
“Aww, c’mon just one? What if there’s something really cool inside?”
“Like what?”
“I dunno, arrows? Rupees?”
You shook your head. “No. We’re not breaking any pots, not when that could set off the security system. C’mon.”
You turned, despite Link’s protest, and pulled him along. Unfortunately, you didn’t account for Link being more stubborn than you expected, and more importantly, your tail. Your tail brushed against one of the shelves, knocking a pot from its perch. The pot seemed fell in slow motion, shattering on the floor.
[2026 Anniversary] A short anniversary story aboard a train with your faves, along with some small samples of potential future stories.
Feel free to vote on the poll at the end of this post!
A/n: The story you are about to read is a work by a fan for fans. The purpose of this work is merely to entertain and is free for all. The… (looks at the list of fandoms involved). Screw it, I own nothing but me. Support the official releases.
==============================
The evening light filtered through the shop windows. It fell through the shelves of bottles filled with different swirls and flames of all colors. A record player softly played some swing jazz from this world and others beyond. It was a slow, quiet day at the shop, and it seemed about time to close when the bell at the door jingled.
I looked up from the counter with a smile. “Ah, hey there! I was wondering when you’d arrive. It’s been a while since we’ve talked like this! 2018, if my memory serves.” I closed the book I was reading and it rose and flew through the air to shelve itself. Papers on the counter shuffled themselves and slid into a folder as you approached. They seemed to be a list of names, orders for new dreams perhaps.
I can tell you’re a bit surprised to see me. After all, I typically don’t show up like this. It seems I don’t look quite the same to each person. Some might see me as a normal guy. Others think I’m a little gremlin or maybe an elven wizard. Others say I look like a Star Spirit, just like my profile pic. Or maybe, you might be imagining me as one of the characters in the stories. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you think I am, in this space, you’re right.
“Thanks for coming by on such short notice, but I thought it’d be nice to invite you to the little party I’m throwing. After all, the shop’s success wouldn’t be possible without you. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d still be doing this, but here we are!” I turned but stopped. “Oh wait, one moment first. I do need your help with something. If you don’t mind?”
Kind as always, you agreed. “Thanks!” I pulled a deck of tarot cards out from under the counter. “It’s hard to decide which dream to give you next, so why don’t you decide for us?” I snapped my fingers, and the deck shuffled and fanned itself out. “Three cards please.”
At first, you weren’t sure what cards to pick, but slowly three seemed to grab your attention. You tapped each one and they shot out of the deck on their own, landing in the middle of the counter. The rest of the deck reshuffled and slid back under the counter. “Ah excellent choices… let’s see what paths are open…”
I turn the first card, revealing a mountain and a storm that split the sky above it. In fact, the storm looked so dire that it looked like the world would cleave in two. A man dressed in eastern feudal-era clothing stood at the base with his eyes closed, holding something like a gear in both hands. He had blue and bronze hair tied in messy ponytail. “Ah, the Path of the Traveler,” I said, before adding with a laugh. “Continuing the theme of time travel in the last few dreams.”
On this path, you are an office salaryman, down on their luck and stuck in the same routine. You have been chosen by Lord Arceus and sent back in time, with an opportunity to start fresh and pursue dreams you once set aside. Building a new life with the Galaxy Exploration Team brings new friends, including a professor, fellow team members, a strangely knowledgeable merchant, and Adaman, leader of the Diamond Clan. While Adaman restores your joy in life, you help him to broker peace between the forces that shape the land of Hisui. But, not all is as it seems with your new life as forces from beyond time and space are at work.
“This would be a fun one,” I add. “Completes the Nintendo hat-trick between their three biggest series, you know. Also I think it would be fun to try to work with the story of Hisui and several other legends in the Pokemon series. Perhaps there will be a chance to have the fish-out-of-water story go both ways, with you bringing Adaman to the future too.”
The next card I flipped had a black cat, and you noticed I had to stifle a laugh. “Poor boy, he is nothing if not determined.” Looking closer, you could see the black cat was standing before a white wolf. “The Path of the Guardian, continuing a theme of revisiting past ideas.”
On this path, you are a new student at PSL University and are chosen as part of a cross-disciplinary cohort. As if undergraduate education wasn’t enough of a challenge on its own, Paris is being plagued by monsters known as akumas, under the command of the villainous Hawkmoth. Thankfully, for the first time in years, new superheroes Ladybug and Chat Noir have arrived to help, and soon you find yourself joining the fight as a new hero among other friends as you work to stop Hawkmoth. Most importantly, you find yourself helping your feline teammate through some unrealized trauma as you both find a way to lower the masks, figurative and literal, and find yourselves.
“This would be essentially a ground-up rewrite of Miraculous, and perhaps one of the biggest technical challenges for me as a writer. Don’t tell You-Know-Who, but there’s a lot of choices in his writing I’d like a chance to try alternative solutions to. It’ll be a bit more different than the original idea I had, but I think that’s what will make it fun. Not to mention, there’s more freedom in aging up the cast and placing them in college.”
The last card flipped revealing a crimson shark man, holding a silver trident, surrounded by crashing waves. “And of course,” I laughed, “the Path of the Artisan. I know some have really been waiting for that one to pop up.”
On this path, you are a Zora artisan haunted by a past mistake that almost hurt your childhood friend and love of your life. Despite this, as adults, you find yourself in a secret relationship with your friend, Prince Sidon. Your relationship, despite a Zora’s lifespan, is still relatively new and has reached a critical point, like metal forged that has yet to cool and harden. This comes as Sidon is chosen as an ambassador to the Great Sea. You follow on an artistic exchange, but upon arriving at the Great Sea Palace, darkness has fallen on your saltwater brethren. It is up to you and Sidon to defeat this evil to protect the mainland and save the Great Sea.
“And of course, continuing the theme of royalty. Honestly I should just call myself Royal Depot at this point,” I say with a grin. “Much like Prince of the Wild, I’d like to tell the story of how you and Sidon came to be lovers through flashback, but centering the main portion of the story on the journey and adventure in the Great Sea. As such, the majority of the story would take place outside Hyrule, so there may be a new continent or locations from other games not present in the Breath of the Wild Hyrule.”
With that, the cards lifted up off the table. They floated around you before gathering and slipping into your pocket. “So there we are, what will you choose? The Traveler, the Guardian, or the Artisan? Choose one, and return it to the shop to cast your vote.”
Before you answer, I hold up my hand. “Think about it, there’s no reason to choose now. After the party, you can get a little sample of the dreams and decide then!” I held up three small bottles with differently colored flames within and pressed them into your palm. “Besides, everyone’s waiting, so we should get going.”
I lead the way through a door that you were certain hadn’t been there just a moment before. It opens to a dark hallway, though you can see a light coming from under a door on the far end. As we walk, it almost feels like trying to walk through water, crossing some barrier you weren’t supposed to. “You might remember back in the day I had these short one-shots called ‘dream seeds’. The whole idea was to create something that would make a nice launching point for a dream as you fell asleep. Consider this a special one of those.”
We step through the door into a bright, classy dining room. As the door shuts behind us, you realize the room is rocking slightly; somehow you’ve been brought onto a private lounge car aboard a luxury train, passing through a starry night along the coastline. Your clothes had transformed as well, turning into a tasteful suit that was perfectly tailored to you, accented with your favorite colors. You were surprised to see a number of men of all ages, many of which seemed familiar.
“There you are!” Bowser, King of the Koopas, guffawed. “Was getting worried you wouldn’t show up, nerd!”
“Hey beautiful,” said Link, Champion and Hero of the Wilds. “We’ve all been waiting for you.” Link wasn’t kidding, you were practically surrounded by men in expensive suits. Several had boutonnieres of various colored roses, including the two who greeted you.
You caught a flash of reddish-pink hair as someone linked their arm in yours. Kaoru Hitachiin was on cloud nine as he guided you into the party. “I hope you like it. Kyoya-senpai let us borrow the train again. And don’t worry, all expenses paid! Just enjoy yourself tonight.”
As Kaoru guided you, you got a better chance to look around. This executive lounge car was filled with hand-carved wood panels and custom metal fixtures. A small chandelier even swung lightly over the dining table. There was a private kitchen compartment to your left, where you could hear several people hurrying to prep dinner. Beyond the table, there was a hallway that led to several private bedrooms, the bathroom, and the rear lounge where you could watch the scenery roll by.
Of course, the scenery wasn’t the only thing to admire, as there were more than a few guests hoping to catch your eye. As mentioned, Bowser, Link, and Kaoru were happy to guide you to the table. Katsuki Bakugou held his arm around Izuku Midoriya as they spoke to another green-haired man, a grown up Wally, the current Hoenn Pokemon League Champion. Ganondorf Dragmire shared a bottle of fine wine with the wolfish Farkas. Towards the rear, the introverted coder and tabletop aficionado Sebastian watched you, distracted from his conversation with the pretty boy vampire, Subaru Sakamaki. Edward Elric stood with two other blondes, both of which you recognized as Links from different eras, one from the distant past of Ocarina of Time and the other from the modern day.
I walked beside you with a smile. “I thought this might be a fun way to celebrate an anniversary of sorts. I invited everyone but unfortunately, a couple couldn’t quite make it.”
“Should I be worried about any of this?” You asked. “Like, all these guys in one place, doesn’t that kinda mess up reality?”
I shrugged. “Technically yeah, but I won’t tell the powers that be if you don’t. Besides, I’ll wipe their memories after this. To them, tonight will be nothing but a pleasant dream and tomorrow they’ll wake back up in their reality with that version of you. But don’t worry about that, enjoy yourself! I’ll just hang out in the back to make sure no one gets too out of hand.”
“As if we’d let that happen,” Bowser snorted. “If there’s one thing sword-boy and I agree on, it’s that no one lays a finger on my star!” Link cleared his throat. “I mean, our star.”
The call of the train whistle covered up some of the laughs from the others. One of the people in the kitchen came out, wearing a mask and black cat ears. “Good evening, my lord,” Chat Noir said with a sweeping bow and a grin. “I’ll be your waiter for tonight.” He offered a tray of champagne flutes, some filled with their namesake and some with sparkling juices.
Suddenly, a head poked out of the kitchen, a purple-haired head attached to an athletic man. “Hey why does the catboy get to go in there while we’re stuck in the kitchen?” Leon, the Unbeatable Champion, muttered.
“Because I at least have a partial story,” Chat Noir smirked, his tail whisking side to side.
“Someday Leon,” I said, gently guiding him back into the kitchen. “I promise I’m working on reworking your story. Maybe you’ll get a shorter one like Kaoru did?”
Meanwhile, you took a drink and began to mingle with the others and explore the rest of the car. It seemed that while you were getting your drink, most had disappeared, so you made your way first towards the lounge section, where your hand was taken gently by Link. “You know, you shouldn’t go wandering off without your knight, my love.”
“Make that knights,” the Hero of Time said, stepping in close behind you. “Takes more than one of us to keep you out of trouble.”
“Or maybe keep us out of trouble. Either way, it’s never boring with you around,” Modern Link said, taking your other side. He snuggled up close to you, wrapping his arms around you. “It’s nice seeing you without scales. Looking forward to when we can enjoy it.”
“Who said you get first dibs at cuddling him?” The Champion said in mock-anger, matching him and cuddling you on the other side. “If anyone should get the first chance, it’s me.”
“Seems fitting for you to get cuddled by three of us, don’t you think?” The Hero of Time said as he pulled you all into a group hug. “Who needs a Triforce when you have the three of us to keep you safe?”
“Probably the safest place I could be,” you sighed. “It’s good to be the king.”
“You could say that again,” the Champion laughed.
“King or not, we’d still look after you. I mean, I’ve been lucky enough to meet two versions of you,” the Hero of Time said.
“Huh, thinking about it, so have I,” the Champion added.
“Wait, that’s so not fair!” Modern Link replied. “Is it because I’m not a big hero like them yet?”
You gave Modern Link an extra squeeze to calm his insecurity. “Nope, and who knows? Maybe you will.” Modern Link, as expected, melted like a sleepy puppy into you.
Leaving the Links behind, you walked along a hallway past several bedrooms. One door was open, with three large men inside fixing their suits. “Really not a fan of these suit things,” Farkas muttered, pulling at his collar. Despite the dress code, the werewolf warrior still kept his Daedric Greatsword on him, the one you smithed for him after your wedding.
Ganondorf sighed, looking down at his shirt. “You’re telling me.” The buttons were struggling for dear life. “This is why I suggested the onsen idea instead…”
Bowser barked out a laugh. “Maybe you two ought to learn from someone with actual style and get a tailor!” His suit was immaculate, complete with silver spiked armbands that matched his usual style. It was good enough for a wedding – you would know.
“Or…” There was a sharp rip of fabric as Ganondorf tore away half of his suit jacket, leaving it partly open with half of his chest bare. He tossed the spare fabric away and pulled you up against his warm body. “Much better, don’t you think so, blossom?”
“I can’t decide whether I should be angry or impressed,” Bowser grumbled.
“Aww, c’mon, don’t hog him,” Farkas said, plucking you from Ganondorf’s clutches. “I know he’d much rather have someone with some soft fur.”
“Hey, isn’t that a spider over there?” Ganondorf asked.
“WHERE?!” Farkas yelped, squeezing you a little too tight.
“Don’t choke him, mutt,” Bowser growled, freeing you. “You okay, nerd? If anyone here gives ya trouble, you know I’m happy to roast ‘em. That includes any bottom-tier villains or overgrown pups. They’re hardly as big a threat as the Dark Star, but I’d take care of ‘em for you.”
“Bottom-tier villain? Really?” Ganondorf scoffed. “You’re that hung up on Smash tiers?”
“And [Y/n] has never minded cuddling with this overgrown pup, you giant turtle,” Farkas added with a grin. “He doesn’t need you to protect him. You should see his fighting skills, he can tear a man limb from limb with just his voice!”
“Well, I’m not gonna do that to any of you guys,” you said.
“Yeah,” Bowser replied. “Besides, you could do your whole star magic thing instead!”
“Or a prayer to the dragons,” Ganondorf said. “I don’t think any of us doubt your ability to fight. At the very least, I’ve learned from that mistake.”
“A warrior and true Companion, through and through,” Farkas said with a wink.
“That’s my star, alright,” Bowser beamed.
You continued down the hall, coming to the rear lounge. Here, several familiar faces sat, with a few more on the observation deck outside. Wally beckoned you over to join the group. “Hey [Y/n]!” He scooted to make room for you on the sofa. “We were just talking about you. I was just telling them about when you taught me how to catch my first Pokemon.”
“It’s interesting to hear about the different versions of you,” Edward added. “Though… sure you might be some kind of hero on their world, but I think you’re better as a baker on mine. You’re hero enough to me.”
“Do you think you could bake us something sometime?” Izuku asked with bright eyes. “I’m sure Satou would let you borrow his oven!”
“Naaaah,” Katsuki said. “Our version of ya is garbage with cooking. You make bigger explosions than I do.”
Kaoru laughed. “Can’t be any worse than the lumpy chocolate I made for him.”
“To be fair, the chocolate was still pretty good,” you said. “It’s the thought that counts. And I’m glad you still like my cakes Edward.”
“I’m a pretty big fan of his cake too,” Katsuki snorted.
“Kacchan!”
“Oh come on Izuku, you were thinking it too!”
“…I was…”
Wally laughed brushing one of his jade locks out of his eyes. “I wish we could travel to each others worlds. It’d be nice to show you how to catch Pokemon. Which reminds me, when will you be returning to the Pokemon world, dear? I’d love to have a rematch with you.”
“A rematch assuming your Gardevoir and my starter don’t start cuddling mid-fight again,” you clarified.
“We might’ve shown a little too much PDA around them…” Wally sighed.
“Then how about coming back to Amestris sometime?” Edward said. “You really helped me out with that last equation, and it’d be nice to go traveling together. We could go see Winry in Rush Valley.”
“Oh that’s right, she got her apprenticeship!” You paused. “You… are doing proper maintenance, right? Because I don’t think I could make a cake big enough to calm her down if you haven’t.”
Edward flinched. “Well… maybe start planning on a couple cakes just in case…”
“There’s also UA!” Izuku said. “We’re gonna start our own hero agency together after graduation, right?”
“We’ll show those extras just who’s worthy of being the top heroes in Japan!” Katsuki added. You raised your fist with them in a sign of Plus Ultra.
“Well, I don’t know about all that otaku stuff,” Kaoru said, sliding up beside you. “It’s been a while since you came to Ouran, y’know. You’re always welcome at the Host Club.”
“Just so long as the boss hasn’t completely turned the place into a fire hazard.”
“I make no promises.”
You said your goodbyes as you headed to the last two in the group. Out on the observation deck, a warm wind rushed by as the train charged along the coast. Subaru Sakamaki and Sebastian were both living up to their more introverted nature, though Subaru was perhaps more aggressively so while Sebastian really just didn’t feel like talking to the others. “You aren’t what I was expecting,” Subaru muttered to Sebastian. “I thought you were some kind of butler.”
“Why does everyone think that?” Sebastian groaned. He took a final draw of his cigarette before extinguishing it as he saw you approach. “Hey [Y/n],” he said with a soft smile. “You kept us waiting.” The two parted slightly, letting you join them against the railing. Both leaned in, every so slightly to let their arms press against yours.
For some time, you all stood in silence, sipping your drinks and listening to the clickety-clack of the rails below. Sebastian was the one who broke the silence. “I was thinking after the party, maybe you’d like to try this new one-shot I came up with. Though, we’ll need to come up with another character for you, your old one’s a bit OP.”
“Afraid I’m going to seduce the big bad again?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “At this point, it’s a guarantee.”
Unlike the others, Sebastian had a mug instead of a champagne flute. It was easy to tell by the strong aroma it was black coffee. Sebastian never was much of a fan of wine or juice. “How is it?” you asked.
“It’s good, though not as good as that coffee you make with your homegrown beans back home,” Sebastian said.
“Coffee’s nice, but I’d rather be drinking something else,” Subaru said, leaning towards you and eyeing your neck. “If my memory is correct, I recall you being quite… sweet despite a tough exterior.”
“No dessert before dinner,” Sebastian said, lightly bonking him on the head with his now empty mug.
“It’s alright, he’ll be good,” you said. “Right, Pretty Sakamaki?”
The vampire’s eyes flashed and he turned away to hide his face. “So you do remember that nickname…” You and Sebastian snickered. You then heard a tap on the glass. Wally waved at you to come inside as dinner was ready.
As the guest of honor, you were seated at the head of the table. However, as you made for your seat, you noticed the conversations died off around you. All eyes landed on the seats on either side of yours. It wasn’t hard to feel the rising tension in the room as all eyes darted to one another.
“Well… It’s only right I get to sit with him,” the Champion of the Wilds said. “After all, I was the first, and he’s my husband.”
“It was implied he and I got married in my story,” the Hero of Time replied with crossed arms.
Modern Link flustered. “Wait, hey, there’s still time! Maybe we will too!”
Ganondorf rolled his eyes, turning to me. “Did you really have to bring all three?”
“You’re lucky I didn’t bring more,” I said. You could have sworn you saw the door open with another seemingly wolfish Link trying to enter, but I kicked it shut. “Have to keep one for myself.”
“And why do you guys get first dibs?” Edward muttered. “Just because you had a longer story doesn’t mean we love him any less.”
“Short-stack’s right,” Katsuki snorted.
“SHORT?!”
I cleared my throat. “Boys, you promised to behave. No fighting on the train or I’ll have to send you home early.” Edward and Katsuki begrudgingly nodded, but simmered in anger and death glares.
Farkas picked the two up and separated them for good measure, but added, “Well, the Dragonborn and I are also married, so I have a claim as well.”
“If marriage is the reason,” Wally said, with an innocent smile. “I’m married to him too, and we have a daughter.” Suddenly, all three Links fell quiet.
“Attempts were made…” Ganondorf sighed.
“A daughter? How cute,” Bowser snorted. “Try nine kids.”
“Dude, pull out,” Sebastian muttered.
“Well,” Izuku spluttered. “Katsuki and I are in a poly relationship with him, so that means he gets twice the love from us!”
“Yeah, what he said!” Katsuki shouted. “We love [Y/n] twice as much as any of you!”
“Yeah, and have any of you literally laid down your life to protect him?” Farkas asked.
“Yes,” all three Links, Bowser, and Subaru replied.
“It’s… complicated.” Ganondorf muttered.
“Complicated nothing, you tried to kill him multiple times!” The Champion of the Wilds protested.
The bickering grew louder and louder. “Guys!” Kaoru finally yelled. “I swear, you guys are worse than Tamaki and Hikaru. Maybe just have [Y/n] pick?”
“Oh right,” came the general mumbles of embarrassed agreement. Adjusting the seating chart took a little time. After eventually moving to the center of the table, where you could share more spots, everyone had found a happy spot around you to your preference.
Chat Noir set down a plate of hors d’oeurves in front of you with a wink. “I hope you find it purrrfect… maybe good enough to vote for me?” I cleared my throat in warning behind him. “I’m not trying to skew the vote I’m just saying…”
But it was too late. Suddenly Chat was bumped sideways as another man took his place. He had a lopsided smile and surprisingly long eyelashes. “It’s nice to meet you [Y/n],” he said kindly, leaning over to refill your drink. “My name is Adaman. I’ve heard a lot about you from the others.”
“Good things?” you asked.
He laughed. “Of course, nothing but. I know you have quite the record for helping them out too. Instead of playing with a flirty superhero, wouldn’t you rather come help my people in Hisui? Given what Wally has said, you’re quite the Pokemon trainer.”
Wally blushed. “Well, you are called the Battle King after all.”
“See, a king even,” Adaman said. “You would love Hisui then, and perhaps someone as good as you could take me to this Pasio place that Wally keeps mentioning. I’m sure it’d be an adventure well worth your vote.”
“Hey c’mon, this isn’t fair!” Chat Noir protested. “He’s skewing the vote!”
“Weren’t you literally just trying the same thing?” Izuku asked.
Katsuki scoffed. “He’s as whiny as that extra from Ketsubutsu.”
“Hmm, he really does sound like Shindo…”
There was a growing commotion from the kitchen, and you could hear voices struggling to hold someone back. Chat groaned. “Oh no, you can’t let him out here too!”
“You started it. It’s too late now,” I sighed, just as the kitchen door burst open again and a tall shark man barreled out, nearly flattening Adaman to take your hands in his. Hurricane Sidon had arrived.
“Oh, it’s so good to see you [Y/n]! I mean, I feel like we’ve known each other for quite a while, but it will be so nice to get to know you much more closely.” His trademark smile was practically blinding. “That reminds me, have I mentioned how grateful I am for how you saved Zora’s Domain in the past?”
“Only a half a thousand times or so,” The Champion of the Wilds said with a grin.
“Well, then perhaps you would be so kind as to join me again, for our own adventure?” He squeezed your hands. “Shall we swim into unknown waters together, beloved?”
“Okay, that’s enough of you three trying to skew the vote,” I said, gently guiding them back. “Let’s let everyone enjoy dinner.”
With that, dinner progressed smoothly, with course after course of your favorites. As the others laughed and ate, you noticed that I was quietly sneaking my way out. When I noticed you caught me, I smiled. “Just enjoy it, and whatever happens after dinner… well that’s up to your imagination. Sweet dreams, friend, and thank you again for two wonderful years.” With that, I slipped out, and shut the door, leaving you to enjoy the night however you wished.
==============================
A/n: Okay, technically it’s two and a half years, but to keep it from getting messy, I’m tracking the anniversary from the start of the DreamDepot2 Tumblr.
Regardless, thank you for an amazing two years and hoping for more to come. I hope you enjoyed this short and self-indulgent anniversary story along with the introduction for the stories for the next poll.
Please note that as these are still in early development, none of these scenes are necessarily indicative of the final story, more just a quick sketch to demonstrate a potential scene and mood. You can vote by leaving a comment or responding to a poll (Wattpad or Tumblr only). Voting will be open through June 3, 2026 and the winning story will be announced shortly thereafter, with Story 4 planned to launch in Fall 2026.
==============================
Adaman and the Traveler
You simmered in your anger as you were splayed out on the back of Wyrdeer, caked in mud. Adaman seemed to be enjoying this all too much. “Well, it’s good to see not every Pokemon can magically become your friend.” You grumbled back with inaudible curses.
“I hardly see how this is the time for jokes, Adaman,” Calaba muttered. The Pearl Clan Warden walked beside the two of you. “Lord Ursaluna was spooked by something, I don’t see it as the fault of your new friend.”
“I mean nothing by it, just pleased to see he’s human like the rest of us. Coming through that rift and magically being good at making friends with Pokemon… who knows?” Adaman grinned.
“Completely human, believe me,” you muttered. “And really wanting a bath.” The reddish-brown muck from the mirelands was well known in your time as this one for being cold and almost impossible to remove.
“I don’t know,” Adaman continued. “You certainly say strange things, enough for more than a few of us to wonder if you were a Pokemon in disguise… or something more.” The implication wasn’t lost on you, even if it was borderline heresy. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a bath soon, and I’ll make sure it’s nice and hot. The Diamond Clan is no stranger to getting through this mud.”
You sighed, looking forward to it, though now your mind wandered to other things. “Calaba, what about Lord Ursaluna?”
The warden nodded. “You leave him to me for now. I’m sure Lord Ursaluna will be ready again after some time. Though, I do wonder what caused it.”
“Maybe Lord Ursaluna doesn’t like me?”
“I doubt that, everything was proceeding well… I suspect some form of foul play.”
“Let’s hope not,” Adaman said, “I’ll ask our scouts to assist you. It’ll be dark soon.”
“Much appreciated, thank you.”
Calaba parted ways with you, leaving just you and Adaman on the path back to the Diamond Clan camp. Now that you were alone, Adaman looked more serious and patted Wyrdeer’s flank. Your mount picked up the pace and Adaman strode beside without breaking a sweat.
“Why are we hurrying?”
“I don’t want you to catch a cold. When we get to camp, I’ll ask them to prepare some sayo for you.”
“Then why weren’t we…” You mulled your thoughts over. “Did you go slow for Calaba?”
He nodded. “It would be rude to rush an elder, even if not from my clan. I hope you understand.”
“Of course,” you replied. “Also, sayo?”
“Ah, my apologies. I believe you’d describe it as a porridge? It’s good for warming up.”
“That does sound good.” You sighed, as you bounced on Wyrdeer’s back. “Adaman, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being so kind to me. I mean, I literally dropped out of the sky. You’ve been so warm and welcoming this whole time.”
“More than Kamado, you mean?” He asked with a grin.
“That’s for sure.” You couldn’t count how many times Kamado had reminded you that those in Jubilife were wary of your presence. “But seriously, thank you.”
“There’s no need for thanks.” Adaman reached over, brushing some of your mud-slicked hair out of your face. “It’s my honor to have met someone as amazing as you.”
==============================
Chat Noir and the Guardian
You returned to your room, looking forward to a warm shower, but you noticed someone outside the window. Your kwami darted back behind you, but peeked over your shoulder. You opened the window to see Chat Noir on the rooftop outside your balcony. There were several candles that looked as though they had been burning all night. A picnic basket sat at his feet, as he absently plucked at a rose. His tail and ears drooped as he plucked away.
“Hey,” you called out. “Is everything alright?”
Chat jumped a bit, but regained his composure. “Oh, hey [Y/n], I didn’t know you lived around here.”
“Yeah.” You looked down at the picnic basket once more and back up to him. “You were expecting someone?”
“I… I kinda had this whole surprise planned for Ladybug,” he said wistfully. “She… just never came.”
“Maybe she had a good reason?” You suggested. “I doubt she’s the kind of hero to leave you hanging.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
“Maybe, but I’m serious too… Y’know it’s getting kinda cold, you wanna come in? I’ve got snacks.” You could feel your kwami tugging at your shirt collar. “Naayj, please!” you hissed.
“You can’t invite him in!” The tiny wolf hissed back.
“Oh come on, you want this just as bad as me. Maybe if you’re lucky Plagg will sense you while he’s here.”
His normally snowy fur took on a pink tinge. “My lord, you can’t! You can’t chance letting him know your-” It was too late, you grabbed him and stuffed him in your jacket pocket.
“I mean, if you’re sure it’s fine…” Chat said, slowly clambering through the window.
“C’mon, nothing worse than being upset on an empty stomach.” You walked to the kitchen and dug through your cabinets, pulling out your favorite snacks. “Sorry, didn’t really have a chance to cook anything fancy. Take whatever you like!”
Chat Noir’s eyes widened. “I can have any of these?”
“Of course, y-”
Chat immediately tore into a chocolate croissant. “This is great! My dad never let me eat stuff like this, or any chocolate really.”
“Your dad never let you have chocolate?”
“O-oh uh, yeah,” Chat replied, a little embarrassed about the slip-up. “Let’s just say he’s… health conscious. Grew up eating a pretty restricted diet all the time.”
“Uh huh…” you murmured. It was like seeing Chat Noir for the first time again. Though this time, the shredded abs you could see through his suit didn’t seem like some fitness model, they were from a bodyfat percentage so low that it made your stomach turn. His arms didn’t seem like wiry gymnast muscle, they looked almost emaciated. And his cheeks looked a bit more hollow than before. “Well then, if you want snacks, you’re more than welcome to come by anytime.”
Any response was cut off by a booming thump outside as a twenty-foot ice cream man lumbered through Paris. “I gotta go,” Chat Noir said, but he stopped at the window. “I’ll grab some ice cream for you on the way back!” With that, he leaped into action.
Naayj popped out of your pocket. “Perhaps it would be best for us to get a scoop as well, sir?”
“Great idea. Naayj, the hunt is on!”
==============================
Sidon and the Artisan
Sidon stood at the entrance of your workshop with a box under his arm. His conflicted feelings were clear on his face. You couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. “I thought you’d be happy I was coming with you?”
“Of course I am,” he said softly. “How could I not be… but…” He stepped forward, setting the box on your workbench and taking you in his arms. “My darling, it’s a long journey. You haven’t traveled that far before, and I know how swimming can exhaust you.”
“I’ll be okay, I promise,” you replied.
“And what if it’s dangerous? The open ocean is home to great beasts in its depths.”
“I promise I won’t stray from the group, no matter how enticing it is to get a drawing of the local fish.”
Sidon frowned. “I’m being serious, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” His hand drifted to your arm.
You reached up to stroke his cheek, and he leaned into the cool metal of your hand. “Sidon, that wasn’t your fault. It was mine. If anything, I’m the one who failed you.”
“Failed? How can you say that?!” Sidon blurted out. “You nearly threw your life away to protect me!”
“And clearly I wasn’t meant to make it as a guard,” you said with a wry smile. “Sidon, the only thing I regret about that day was that I almost lost you.”
“How do you think I feel?” He tilted your chin up. “I’ve lost Mother and Mipha. And for a long time I thought I had lost the Prince and Link as well… I can’t lose you too.”
“And that’s why I have to go with you!” You said. “I’ll worry the whole time you’re gone, and I know you’ll worry too.”
“I…” Sidon huffed. “Yes, you’re right. I should know better by now, beloved.”
“So I can go?”
“I might not be happy about you being in potential danger… but I had a feeling you would come regardless.” Sidon motioned to the box. “That’s why I got you this.”
You took the box. You lifted the cover and was taken aback. “A new prosthetic?” You asked. You picked it up, surprised by how much lighter it was than your current one. It was made of a black alloy, lined with almost ceramic-like welds. Lights at the joints glowed with a soft blue light. It even had a proper fin replacement along the forearm.
“I commissioned it from Robbie, a Shiekah researcher in Akkala. He promised it should be more comfortable to wear. You said you didn’t like how your current one reacts when it gets cold and how uncomfortable when it gets warm. Robbie says this should handle the temperature better. Oh, and look at this!” Sidon pressed against a small button on the knuckles and a small craft knife appeared from the fingertip, using the same light technology that you had seen on the weapons the royal knight used. “Do you like it?”
You pulled him closer. “Sidon, I love it! This is so thoughtful, thank you.” You kissed him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I was hoping to surprise you.”
“I know you had good intentions, beloved. I’ll look on the bright side, it means you and I can travel together.”
Which idea would you like to see as the next main story?
Adaman (Path of the Traveler)
Chat Noir (Path of the Guardian)
Sidon (Path of the Artisan)
Voting ended onMay 9
(Please note, since tumblr polls can be finicky, if it says it is timed out but still before June 3rd, please feel free to vote via a comment)
The blizzard howled as you made your way to Rito Village, high in Hebra’s snowy tundra. “Hylia’s tits, it’s cold!!” Aryll shouted, curled up with a blanket. You and Link had loaded Epona II in the back of the truck and rode with the rest in the cramped crew cab of Aryll’s truck. Link traded off as driver at the last Stable Stop and now Aryll was in the backseat with you and Ralon. “Why’d she have to pick a snowy area? And why’d we have to go when it’s almost winter!!”
“I mean, it is the Rito ancestral home,” Corbus said gently, but Aryll was not having it.
“Why can’t she live in somewhere tropical?” She grumbled.
“Think of it as expanding your horizons Aryll,” Link said. “You’ve been around Faron your whole life! You’re getting see new places!”
“I’ll take warm Faron any day.”
“I’m turning up the heater…” Link said, but glared as soon as he looked in the rearview mirror. “And will you get your hands off him!!”
Ralon was glued to you and had wrapped your wings around him like a giant blanket. “He’s waaaarm.”
That was all Aryll needed to bounce over the seat and land next to you. “Scoot over Ralon!” Soon you had another under your wings. “Goddesses, he’s like a space heater!” She sighed. Despite the rest, your wings and tail hadn’t gone away. Despite the fear of what that meant, it apparently did have some benefits.
Link scowled as he drove over the last hill. Lake Totori was now in view, as was Rito Village. Due to Rito lifestyles relying on flight, the traditional open-air homes were still everywhere amongst the valley, though there were a few more modern buildings sprinkled in, such as the post distribution center or the headquarters of the Lucky Clover Gazette. Link drove around the rim of the lake, finally pulling to a stop in a quiet neighborhood not far from Warbler’s Nest. It was a fairly nice neighborhood with a beautiful temple not far away. One of the few more modern homes was here, a large two-story mansion that would’ve looked more at home in Castle City. A large bronze sculpture sat in the front yard, partially covered by snow. It was hard to make out the details with the snow and the blizzard, so it ended up looking more like lumpy dumpling than anything.
Everyone got out of the truck, though Aryll and Ralon both squirmed to stay under your wings where it was warm and shielded from the blizzard. Link was about to say something, but all you had to do was open up your wings. In no time, he was warm and blushing against your chest. “Anyone else?” you asked.
“I’m good, warm core,” Corbus laughed.
“Same here.” Avil nodded as well, dressed in clothes barely warmer than his jogging gear. Then again, he was the one usually complaining you kept your room too hot anyway. “So what’s the plan? We just show up and go, ‘hey tell us about this and no we’re not giving you any context?’”
“Best we have for now. She’s already invited us to visit so we should be okay,” you said. “Just everyone should be ready for anything.”
Corbus shook his head. “I still think you guys are getting a bit worried over nothing. Professor Komadoh might be a bit standoffish at times, but she’s not the type to stab you in the back.”
You had to agree from your own experience, she was always so nice to you and your father. She was practically family. However, seeing her around Hyrule right where you were felt wrong. Something must’ve been up. “We still don’t know who the traitor is. Yuga used it to his advantage, but we know whoever it is, they’re still out there. We have to tread very carefully.”
Corbus had scarcely knocked when the door swung open, revealing the elderly Rito. “I see you all made it safely,” Professor Komadoh said looking across all of you. Her eyes seemed to linger on you – which was partly understandable given your wings and tail. “Well, come in before you freeze.”
You released the others from your wings and followed them inside, though Link lingered back with you. He gave you a silent nod, squeezing your hand.
Komadoh’s home was contemporary and tasteful, if a bit falling into the beige trend. While the colors may have been boring, the contents weren’t. A piano and several instruments were on the side of the great room. Her walls were covered with a mix of framed band posters from a few decades back, as well as artifacts. One wall had several unique wooden masks, all of which were antiques that would fetch quite the price. Corbus, of course, drifted to the Keaton mask. Other artifacts included a small pirate’s knife, a replica of a Twilight Era tapestry, and, in a glass case by itself, a well-preserved accordion. The television played the news softly in the background, something about the government struggling to contain Malladus or slow other monster attacks. You sighed, feeling helpless despite doing everything you could.
“Please make yourself comfortable,” the Professor said, lifting a pot from her stovetop. “You picked a hell of a day to come.”
“You were expecting us,” Link muttered.
“I did invite you,” she replied. “Though I admit I wasn’t expecting so many. I suppose it’s good I prepared extra rooms.”
“Why did you invite us exactly?” You asked.
“I’m a historian,” she replied pouring everyone a steaming cup of mint tea. “Monsters from the past start appearing, and then I see Corbus and Link running around with someone wrapped up in bandages with ancient runes? I’m going to be a bit interested, though…” she looked you over. “This has certainly gone past a simple interest now.” She then looked at Link and the Master Sword strapped to his back. “Very much past…”
An awkward silence fell over the room. Ralon cleared his throat. “Well, um, thank you for opening your home to us,” he said with a little nervous bow.
“Of course dear,” she said sweetly, before turning her gaze back on you. “What made you decide to take me up on my offer?”
“We have questions,” Corbus said. “It’s about these ancient symbols that I’ve never seen before.”
“I see,” Professor Komadoh said, but her gaze was locked on you. “And would you care to explain why Navi is half-dragon?”
“It’s a long story,” Link murmured.
“Okay then.” Professor Komadoh steepled her fingers. “If you want me to answer your questions, I think you will need to answer some of mine first. First, I want to know why Navi is changing into a dragon. Second, I want to know where Professor Gaepora and [Y/n] are.”
“Hey! Wait a second,” you said. “Before we tell you anything, how about you explain why you were all over Hyrule? The real reason, not some story about seeing museum artifacts. You used to run the Archives, you’ve seen all of those and more.”
“I’ve let you into my house,” she said sternly. “If you’re wondering if you can still trust me and you came here, then you’re a fool. If anything I should be wary of you.”
“We came because we don’t have anywhere else to turn,” you shot back. “And if you’re wary of us, you’re a fool to have let us in the door.”
She and you locked in a staredown. She broke first. “Fine, I don’t care. But, Professor Gaepora and [Y/n], please tell me… tell me where they are. Please.” Her eyes looked so old in that moment as her feathers seemed to droop. “Please just tell me they’re safe, anything.”
Your shoulders fell. “I… I don’t know. Professor Gaepora was transformed by Veran into an owl. I helped him escape before she could do more, but I don’t know where he is now.”
“And [Y/n]?” When you didn’t answer, she looked to the others.
Avil was the one to answer. “We don’t know. We think they might have him.”
Professor Komadoh sunk into her chair, looking like she was collapsing in on herself. Suddenly, a chorus of phone notifications went off at the same time. As everyone looked to their phones, the news story suddenly cut out, the broadcast replaced by a symbol of the winged Triforce. “What the hell?” Aryll muttered as Professor Komadoh boosted the volume just as the broadcast returned, but not with the news anchor.
“People of Hyrule, bow to your new king.” You and Link bolted to your feet, eyes glued to the television. An intimidating man stood on screen, eyes like fire and hair to match. Just seeing him struck you with a primal fear, but the rising monster within you wanted nothing more than to tear him to shreds. “I am Ganondorf, the rightful ruler of this pitiable land. I have returned to finally claim what is rightfully mine.”
“No, that’s impossible…” Professor Komadoh muttered.
The camera panned back to show Ganondorf in the former throne room. The evil king wore flowing robes over armor as dark as night. Zant stood behind him, a dutiful general, which seemed a bit odd to you. As the camera pulled back more, you could just make out a lifeless body under his foot. Link took a half-step in front of you, as if to shield you from him. “Your useless government has done nothing to protect you and your prime minister lays dead. It is clear you need a true leader to save you from yourselves.”
“I am not an unreasonable king. If you wish to avoid bloodshed, then you shall meet my demands. First, surrender the Republic of Hyrule to me. Second, bring to me the hero that seeks to oppose me. And hero, as I know you’re watching this, consider a little added incentive. Come to me or else...” He waved his hand and suddenly Zelda appeared by his side, trapped within a crystal. “You can forfeit the girl’s life.”
“They have them both then,” Corbus muttered. “[Y/n] and Zelda…”
“Wait,” you said, choosing your words carefully around the curse. “If they had them both, then why would they threaten Link with them? Wouldn’t they just use them to immediately open the Sacred Realm instead?”
“So either Zelda and [Y/n] can’t open the Sacred Realm or… Zelda can’t and they don’t actually have [Y/n]?” Avil asked. Before you could discuss more, the others shushed you.
“Additionally, I demand the complete surrender of Fort Hebra and its contents to me.” Professor Komadoh narrowed her glare. “I will only accept unconditional surrender. I will personally see to it that any who oppose me meets a swift end. Oh… and for those that doubt me, allow me to demonstrate the might of my forces. Curator, I know you live in Rito Village, so perhaps a little persuasion is in order. Zant, if you would.” A terrible smirk crossed his face as he snapped his fingers.
The blizzard howled outside, but there was an earpiercing screech above that. The sky grew even darker outside. Everyone ran to the windows. Terrible creatures with flat plate-like masks skittered through the snow. “What are those things?” Aryll asked.
“Shadow Beasts,” Professor Komadoh said. “Monsters from beyond our realm and not easily dealt with.”
Link looked to you. “Navi?”
You nodded, knowing what he meant. “I’m with you.” You hurried to the door, when Professor Komadoh stopped you.
“Where are you going?”
“If they can’t be easily dealt with, then we need to help the people out there,” you replied.
“People are gonna get hurt if we don’t do something,” Link said. “And I doubt anything called a Shadow Beast is gonna like getting hit by the Master Sword.”
Avil and Aryll were hot on your heels. “Not letting you two have all the fun,” Aryll said.
Corbus summoned his Ice Rod. “I’ll see if I can box them in with some ice walls.”
Ralon stood beside him. “And I’m not letting any of you go out there without someone to help when you get hurt.”
Professor Komadoh looked at all of you, before a soft smile crossed her face. “Then in that case, we’ll need to hurry to activate the defense spell.”
“Spell?” Corbus asked.
“Shadow Beasts can only be truly destroyed if you defeat all of their comrades at once. My ancestor was once the Royal Maestro, specializing in magical songs. He created magic instruments that would cast a spell to defend Rito Village. It should obliterate them all in one go.” She tightened her shawl and stepped out into the snow. “Well, come on!”
Professor Komadoh lifted her cane, shifting her hand down to the middle. Suddenly, you recognized its strange shape. “Awaken!” Komadoh shouted, as the top of the cane began to glow. She flung the orb to towards the statue in her yard. The snow shook off of it as it rose, green lines glowing along its cracks. It unfolded, revealing a towering bronze Rito holding a mallet. She swung her cane down, and the statue brought down its mallet on the shadowy creatures.
“How do you have the Dominion Rod?!” You asked.
“Being the former director of the Archives has its privileges. Now, no time to dilly-dally! Clear a path to the temple near Warbler’s Nest!”
“That we can do,” Link said. He charged in, Master Sword glowing, as he drove the first wave back. You followed close behind, swiping at them with your tail to clear some space. Corbus took the rear, building up snowy walls with his Ice Rod to cover your backs while the statue lumbered down the road.
“Heads up!” Aryll shouted, grabbing one of the Shadow Beasts by its mask and flinging it over your head. It bounced on the road, crashing into the others. You swiped at them with your claws, dodging out of the way just long enough for the statue to smack a few with the mallet. Ralon followed up with crossbow shots, trying to drive them farther back. Suddenly, one of the beasts screeched, and twenty more creatures seemed to emerge from the shadows.
You found yourself hemmed in, but you could see Link was also surrounded. “Link!” you shouted. You scrambled forward. “Get away from him!”
Suddenly, Avil was by your side, slashing away at the beasts with gleaming twin swords. “Don’t worry about Link, these guys aren’t gonna take him down.” Sure enough, Link hit them with a spin attack, knocking the monsters back.
Little by little, you made your way up the street towards Warbler’s Nest. A massive bell, as large as a house, hung from a tall shrine. “Almost there!” Professor Komadoh shouted.
“Guys!” Corbus shouted as he frantically kept trying to raise the walls. “They’re climbing over faster than I can make them!”
“I’ve got you Corbus!” Avil shouted, running back to help fend off the rising tide of Shadow Beasts.
You caught up with Link as Aryll plowed a path forward, with Ralon’s arrows knocking the Shadow Beasts back. You raised your wings to cover him as he sliced through another Shadow Beast. “They just keep coming!” He grunted.
“Just a little more!” you said, slashing at them.
As you made your way closer to the shrine, the monsters were corralled into a tighter and tighter space. “Make way!” Komadoh shouted as she brought the mallet down once more, flattening them. That wasn’t what caught your attention however.
A symbol on her hand began to glow, starting similar to Nayru’s but morphing into three inward facing triangles with three circles between them. “She’s a sage?” you muttered. There wasn’t much time to dwell on it as more monsters appeared.
“Go, go, go!” Aryll shouted, plowing through them. Link was not one to be left behind, following his sister with a flurry of sword slashes. You meanwhile escorted Professor Komadoh the rest of the way up to the bell.
“Cover your ears!” she shouted. You made it just in time as she swung the Dominion Rod and the mallet slammed into the bell. A deep BONG resonated through the village. The statue struck the bell twice more. BONG… BONG… For a moment, nothing happened.
Then, over the silence of the snowy village, bells began to chime from all around you. You could see the soft blue glow of other bells in the distance, all ringing out around Lake Totori. Magic runes like the ones on your bandages spread across the roads and around the village, all except under the massive bell. They began to glow brighter and brighter. Suddenly, Link tackled you under the bell right as the glow grew too strong. The light eradicated all of the shadows around, only sparing you. With the light fading to a soft glow, the village fell silent once more and the monsters were gone.
“Navi, are you okay?” Link asked, panicked.
“I’m fine, I’m fine…. Thanks.”
Professor Komadoh cleared her throat. “He actually would’ve been fine. Those bandages would have protected him from anything short of a blast of light directly from the Goddesses.” You looked away as Link started to blush. “It was a sweet gesture nonetheless. Come on boys, let’s get back home.”
==============================
Back at the Professor’s house, everyone sat down with a hot drink. “I apologize for being standoffish,” Professor Komadoh said. “I’ve been increasingly worried lately. I long suspected that there would come a time when a hero was needed again. Seeing monsters appear led me to hurry to research in hopes of assisting when the time came. Then… when I heard Professor Gaepora and [Y/n] disappeared, I started searching everywhere I could think of where they may have hidden to escape. But, I also had several people started asking me concerning questions. Then, friends and former students started going missing… It’s hard to know who you can trust. I understand your concern as well. I can only imagine what you’ve all faced so far.”
“That goes both ways,” you said. “I’m sorry for getting defensive, especially if you’re one of our Sages.”
“Ah yes, Sages. I assume that was related to your question, Corbus?”
“Yeah,” Corbus said, pulling up the tapestry on his phone and handing it to the professor.
Professor Komadoh nodded. “The top is designed to look like the missing triangle at the center of the Triforce, the one that points down. The symbols represent the core values of Power, Wisdom, and Courage. The bottom represents what some scholars refer to as the Inverted Triforce or Dark Triforce. After all, all light casts a shadow.”
“What does the other Triforce represent then?” Corbus asked.
“That goes back to the very beginning...”
==============================
Before time began, three Goddesses entered our realm: Din, Nayru, and Farore. Our realm was nothing but an empty void. Din shaped the void, changing and shaping the earth with her flaming arms. Nayru set forth order through the laws of science and set time into motion, giving the world day and night. Farore gave life to the world, granting us sentience and free will. As the Goddesses saw their work was good, they departed this realm, but not before leaving one final gift, the Holy Triforce. The Triforce, the Golden Power, represented the virtues of Power, Wisdom, and Courage… but there was also a second triad.
This second triad is called the Dark Triforce, the reflection of the Holy Triforce. Unlike the virtuous power of the Triforce, the Dark Triforce does not discern itself based on the intentions of the wielder. It represents the primordial power of creation… and destruction.
Instead of Power, Wisdom, and Courage, the Dark Triforce represents Change, Order, and Will. Change, the embodiment of how the world is always being reshaped by nature, by time, or by technology. Order, the laws of science and nature that we must all abide by. The sun must rise and set and time continues into the future. Will, the ability to forge your own destiny by your own hands and to push through when the odds are against you.
==============================
“I,” she said, raising her hand, “am the Sage of Order, and young Avil, is the Sage of Will.”
Avil let out a soft puff of air. “Sounds about right.”
“All of us,” Professor Komadoh continued, “are here to assist the hero and the Sage of Light to destroy this evil, or at least seal it. You’ll still need to locate the Sage of Change and the Sage of Light. I don’t suppose you have any ideas who it could be?”
“Actually,” you said, “We do have the Sage of Light, just we can’t awaken them.”
“The Sage of Light? Who… oh. Oh, I see.” Professor Komadoh studied you for a moment, then took your hands. “I’m sure we’ll find a way around it. What about the Sage of Change?”
“To be honest, no,” Corbus said. “I mean, unless it’s Zelda, then we’re kinda screwed.”
“Navi,” Link said, “what about the person who sent us all that gear? Or what about Maple?”
“Could be, but we know nothing about them, and could be Maple, but I don’t know how to get a hold of her,” you sighed. “I… could try the book of Mudora again?”
“I’m sure we’ll find them soon,” Professor Komadoh said. “For now, we have more immediate things to worry about.”
“Yeah, like me,” You said. All eyes turned to you. “Phantom Ganon, Veran, Yuga… they’ve all mentioned I’m becoming a monster to serve them. What can you tell us about King Argarok?”
Professor Komadoh sighed. “Our land has been protected for years by the dragons. They say that even if we don’t see the three great dragons anymore, they are still watching over us. But, it is said one will bring Hyrule to an end. When King Argarok appears, he shall slay the heir of the Royal Family and bring about an all consuming void, plunging the world into eternal night.”
“Then Ganondorf is lying,” Ralon said. “Veran said that she wanted to see the end of all so they could become gods.”
“And Yuga mentioned that they wanted the power of the Royal Family to break into the Sacred Realm.” Corbus added.
“Ganondorf certainly isn’t above lying, and seeking the power of the Goddesses is certain in line with historical accounts. It’s not the first time he’s wanted the Triforce either.” Professor Komadoh tapped her staff. “Something… something’s bothering me about him, but I can’t put my finger on it. It was when he mentioned Fort Hebra...”
“What’s Fort Hebra?” Avil asked.
“Fort Hebra is one of the former royal residences and still protected under law. Going all the way back to my ancestor Chief Tulin, the Rito have been entrusted with the defense and care of the building. The Fort was closed to all but a select few in order to hide it’s importance. In times of trouble, it is meant to serve as an emergency base of operations for the new heroes… and it also serves as a repository of weapons and magic artifacts.”
“So you think this is like the break-in at the Archives?” you asked. “Someone’s looking for more magic artifacts?”
“Makes sense,” Corbus said. “No wonder Ganondorf would want Fort Hebra, it’d block us from doing anything, and it’d give him a bunch of tools.”
“Yeah, I mean, if I was the big evil guy, I’d want all the toys to myself. But why would that feel weird?” Aryll asked.
“A few reasons,” Professor Komadoh said. “First, Fort Hebra is the official name the government refers to it by, but most people know it by it’s other name: Snowpeak Manor. It was meant as a home first after all. Second, I am the last in a long line of curators for the building, and I don’t like that Ganondorf seemed to know that. Third, two days ago, someone tried to break in. Luckily, they failed, but not before activating the security systems.”
“Same day we were in the Temple of Time then,” Ralon said.
Link muttered, “No doubt working for Ganondorf.”
“That’s just it,” Professor Komadoh continued. “I’m not sure they were. I still feel like I can’t see the whole picture.”
“Makes two of us,” Corbus sighed.
“Three,” you added. “You said magical artifacts, but what else is in Snowpeak Manor?”
Professor Komadoh closed her beak tight. “I… regretfully do not know. The manor has an upper section that I’m well acquainted with, along with several of the artifacts. There’s also an underground section, but as far as I know, no one has gotten into it in at least three generations. Regardless, if Ganondorf wants what’s in Snowpeak, then we need to move quickly and get it first.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Aryll said. “I’ve got snow chains for the truck, just let me get a better jacket and let’s go!”
“Not so fast,” Professor Komadoh continued. “As I mentioned, we have the security system to worry about. If we all go storming in at once, that will only send the whole residence into lockdown. I’d say it’d be best to only send two, who can go in and reset the system. If necessary, the rest of us can join them after that.”
“Then it’ll be Navi and me.” All eyes turned to Link. “It makes sense right? The hero and the Sage of Light. And we need people to stay around here in case Ganondorf attacks again.”
“It’s a solid plan,” Avil, of all people, said. Link seemed similarly surprised. “Listen, we need to be around in case something goes wrong. Ganondorf isn’t gonna give up just after one spell. And, if anyone’s gonna keep Link from doing something stupid, it’s Navi.”
“Thanks, I think…”
Professor Komadoh stifled a small laugh. “Then in that case, we should all get some rest. You had a long journey today, and you’ll need your wits about you tomorrow.”
After a hearty homecooked dinner, you all prepared for bed. Professor Komadoh’s house was luckily large enough for everyone to stay the night, even if Link slept on the couch. She waited to show you your room last. As she led you in, she shut the door behind her. “It’s you, isn’t it?” You froze. “I know you can’t say, but it is you, isn’t it [Y/n]?”
You turned, and soon found you wrapped in her wings. “How did you know?”
“The Sage of Light has to be a descendant of the Royal Family, so unless Zelda is a copy like these monsters, that only leaves one option.” She squeezed you tighter. “I am so sorry, if I had only noticed sooner… do the others know?”
“No. My father was the only other person to figure it out.”
“Of course, he would never forget his own son.” Professor Komadoh stood back to look at you. “Oh my dear boy, I will not rest until I find a way to help you.”
“Thanks, but I want to make sure we take care of Ganondorf first. Too many people are in danger.”
“True… though… something bothers me about his appearance. I just can’t put my finger on it.”
==============================
You couldn’t sleep.
Whether it was from the day’s events or the appearance of the ancient king of evil, you couldn’t stop staring at the ceiling. Finally, you had enough and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. You barely got a sip before you heard a voice. “Having trouble sleeping?” Link sat up on the couch, watching you with sleepy eyes.
“Yeah. Just a lot on my mind.” You set the glass down and walked over.
Link nodded. “Can I…” he asked softly, motioning to you. You nodded, a bit confused. He took you in his arms and guided you to the couch. He leaned you against him and he started to hum and rub your back. “You looked like you needed this.”
You melted under his touch as he worked through the aches of your tired wings and tail, save a hiss when he hit a knot. “I did. Thank you. Might be more comfortable if I turn around?”
“Least I can do,” he said softly. “And no, don’t.” He held onto you tightly, a goofy smile spreading on his face.
“What’s that about?”
“Just… I really like this,” he replied, eyes sparkling. If he had a tail, you knew it’d be wagging like crazy.
“After this is over, I’d probably be more comfortable to cuddle.”
“I don’t care about that,” Link said. “Just happy it’s you.” You cuddled him back, wrapping your wings around the both of you. Link kept rubbing your body, banishing the aches from your slow transformation. A happy purr rumbled from your throat. “You’re like a big kitten.”
“If I’m a kitten,” you said, snuggling closer, “you’re a big puppy. If I knew you liked physical contact this much, I would’ve tried something sooner.”
Link nuzzled into your neck. “Then I guess we gotta make up for it.”
==============================
A/n: Yes, Komadoh is the descendant of both Kass and Tulin! My thought process was Kass had five daughters and Tulin was the only boy their age. The only other Rito girl we know of is Molli, who was significantly younger, so I think even in canon, Tulin’s descendant also being a descendant of Kass makes sense. Yes, I know what we see in the games is just an implication of the full population of each area, but I figured it makes sense. Not to mention I kinda breadcrumbed that at the end of Dreams of the Kingdom.
