I was in a white, cinder block classroom with no windows, it was my graduate program, but there were individual desks instead of long tables. There were only a couple of people there that I recognize from real life but overall there was a sense of familiarity so I knew these were my cohorts. I sat in the second row farthest from the door, second seat from the back. There were 3 desks in front of me. There were 5 rows of desks with 5 desks in each row. A classmate that I have romantic feelings toward (in the dream not in real life.. let’s call him WS) sits at the desk to my right. We aren’t dating or anything but there is something there, a feeling of romance growing though we don’t know each other really well, I feel drawn to him and I can tell that he feels the same. Class starts and we talk about theories for a bit, we take a 15 minute break, and I come back and my abusive ex, Steven, is in the classroom. I feel my body flood with terror. His presence is so menacing. I look across the room to see WS walking toward me only to find that his face has turned into Steven’s. I am terrified, but WS gestures to his shoes, and he is wearing snowboarding boots, and when I look back up to his face, his face has changed back to normal. No one in the class seems to notice Steven as he sits two seats in front of me. All I can see is his upper back, his salmon and blue striped frat boy tank, and the back of his head, but it is enough to have me shaking in fear. WS is the only one that notices Steven, is the only one that sees my terror, and in a gesture born of empathy and support, without an ulterior motive, he reaches his hand across the aisle and places it on mine, squeezes it, and says, "you deserved better than that" and then he turned back in his chair. I felt hope after he said that. And I trusted what he said, like for the first time I actually believed that I didn’t deserve all of the agony Steven caused.
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