“THINGS REAL CHEERLEADERS ACTUALLY SAY BUT YOU’LL NEVER HEAR IN THE MOVIES” STARTERS
“I can almost smell the testosterone.”
“I hate this uniform more than I hate frizzy hair.”
“Spray your perfume one more time, I dare you.”
“I just want to go home.”
“When I walked in the band hall everyone shrank away from me like I was going to eat them.”
“Does anyone actually shave the backs of their thighs?”
“I look like a rotten potato.”
“I got really drunk and invented a new dance move, and now people are doing it and naming it after me.”
“You’re the bane of my perky existence.”
“Get me Starbucks or I gut you.”
“Can punches with pom-poms still give black eyes? You’re about to find out.”
“High school is hell, so we might as well sell our souls to the devil.”
“GOD FUCKING ASSHAT JERKHOLE DOUCHE DAMMIT!”
“They only talk about Naked palettes and Kendra Scott earrings and Lily Pulitzer dresses and other shit no one gives a fuck about.”
“Cheerleaders aren’t really that bad, they’re just living up to you expectations.”
“It takes skill to giggle and smile and shout for a team that loses zero to seventy-two.”
“She’s like the cheerleader Antichrist. The anticheerleader.”
“I’M IN THE WRONG FUCKING LANE!”
“My parents told me I had to take karate lessons or drive a massive truck. Get in, loser, we’re going to the game.”
“I’m going to shove my poms so far up your ass you’ll be shitting glitter for the next two decades.”
“They decided they hated me before they even met me.”
“I didn’t steal your boyfriend, he just came to his senses.”
“We don’t have that much drama, our drama’s just way more entertaining.”
“I bet you five dollars she’s going to get tackled before this season ends.”
“I don’t bet on the lives of my teammates.”
“If she’s captain next year, I’m rioting.”
“She’s everything I hate in a cute little giggly package.”
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