modern family sentence meme.
‘"this crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.“
“aaaaaaah! i can’t even believe i’m talking to you right now!”
“you can’t just roll over on someone because it makes you uncomfortable!”
“you’re sweating like a heroin addict.”
“i want a white christmas. you know, like white people have.”
“i can’t wait to make a snow-person!”
“my options today are frat house, duck village, or car crash.”
“okay, woah, this is exactly how it started out when i found out my father wasn’t really in space.”
“where’s the little leprechaun?”
“all i wanted was to bribe my way into that school by making cubbies that stuff didn’t fall out of.”
“we’re like magnets, that sometimes take a break to date other magnets.”
“no, you’re not getting your hair straightened.”
“it would kill me if i thought that what i felt would hold you back from getting something that you wanted.”
“i wanna kiss you, but i have surgery breath.”
“oh my god, that burger was so good, i feel like i just cheated on you.”
“yeah, i heard the moaning.”
“i couldn’t be more relaxed if i was in a coma.”
“what are you constantly looking at on your computer?”
“you’ve never stolen anything before?”
“point is — a guy like me gets that lucky, he quits while he’s ahead.”
“you’re right, i’m sorry, your outfits perfect… if you’re applying to lumberjack school and majoring in having cats eat you when you die.”
“by the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.”
“what have i said about sneaking up on me? i could’ve been shaving, this could’ve been a sweeney todd moment!”
“it’s gonna take more than that to ruin a morning that started out with a whipped cream smile on my waffle.”
“if it were easy, everyone would be hot.”
“there is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle. ”
“you do this every time. you go as a princess, i have to go as some freak. you’re a beauty, i’m the beast. you’re the beyonce, i’m… that guy.”
“i wanna hear your point but right now this magic juice is gonna help mama turn that bathtub into a swim up bar.”
“it’s a body spray called sex grenade, one of the divorced dad’s in the hotel recommended it.”
“with great hotness comes great responsibility.”
“we’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters and online prostitutes.”
“i didn’t mean for her to get hurt.”
“don’t cry, you’ll streak your bronzer.”
“i think i just broke a nail on a turtle.”
“you’re breaking my heart.”
“oh calm down, this can’t be the first time you’ve woken up with other men in your bedroom.”
“i don’t eat anything unless i know what’s in it.”
“this dipstick loves you too.”
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