[envyowns]

some stranger things season 3 humor sentence prompts .   (    spoiler free.   )

❝   hey! HEYYYY!  ❞

❝   3 inch minimum! ❞

❝   I need for them to break up. ❞

❝   you know what? your mom called. ❞

❝   a heart to heart? what is that? ❞

❝   maybe i’ll just kill ___.  ❞

❝   crazy? you wanna see real crazy?  ❞

❝   AHOY LADIES!  ❞

❝   hey, dingus!  ❞

❝   your children are here!  ❞

❝   how many children are you friends with?  ❞

❝   i dump your ass.  ❞

❝   you sure you’re tall enough for that ride?  ❞

❝   you need help getting up, little ___ ?  ❞

❝   do you knock? jeez!  ❞

❝   yeah, jeez!  ❞

❝   you know that means you suck? ❞

❝   that was pig latin, dingus.  ❞

❝   they make, like, really crazy noises.    ❞

❝   yeah, but…like, happy screams.  ❞

❝   happy screams? what is happy screams? ❞

❝   okay, i’m just going to lend you my mom’s cosmo.   ❞

❝   how many times have you seen him with a shirt ON?❞

❝   c’mon, man, not my scooper!   ❞

❝   have you ever actually WON a fight?   ❞

❝   just shut up and push me!   ❞

❝   not my feet, dumbass!   ❞

❝   push my ass!  ❞

❝   touch my butt! i don’t care!  ❞

❝   yeah, i don’t know.  ❞

❝   oh, i can fit. i just don’t know if i want to.   ❞

❝   you know what that sounds like to me? child endangerment.   ❞

❝   machina! vroom vroom!   ❞

❝   she’s gonna hunt you down, one-by-one, and slit your throat.   ❞

❝   i don’t care about tina! or uncle jack’s party!  ❞

❝  dude! you did it! you won a fight!   ❞

❝  we all die, my strange little friend.  ❞

❝   SPARE ME!  ❞

❝   you yelled at them like it was a parent-teacher conference and hung up on them.   ❞

❝  we’re on the way to rescue our children from the big, bad, fourth of july celebration.    ❞

❝   children! children! children!   ❞

❝   why don’t you two cut the horseshit and get to the part where you admit your sexual feelings for one another?    ❞

❝   WOAH! ❞ 

❝   yes, he’s a brute. i know. ❞

❝   but admit it, you’re real curious what he’s like in the sack. ❞

❝   and YOU! HA! ❞

❝   you’re just a big manbaby who’d rather act tough then show his real feelings. ❞

❝   because the last time you opened your heart you got hurt. OWIE!. ❞ 

❝   you’re dancing around one another with this mind-numbing and frankly boorish mating ritual. ❞

❝  please, for my sake. ❞ 

 ❝  either quit your bickering or pull over, tear off those clothes, and GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!  ❞

❝   i told them they should have sex.  ❞

❝   did we get that verse right? it’s unfold behind the clouds?  ❞

❝   are you drugged?  ❞

❝   how many times, dad? i don’t DO drugs.  ❞

❝   he says it’s strawberry.  his slurpee. ❞

❝  he did ask for cherry.  ❞ 

❝   you do what this man tells you and you’re all gonna die!  ❞

❝   i’m sorry. why is this four year old talking to me?   ❞

❝   i’m ten, you bald bastard! ❞

❝   not my feet, dumbass!   ❞

❝   NOTHING! THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH NANA!  ❞

❝   is that a new zit?  ❞

❝   MOM! GET OFF THE PHONE! HOW MANY TIMES???  ❞

[drkbetty]

ANXIETY heightened everything around Betty, the beeping of machines, idle chit chat from nurses, the smell of rubbing alcohol, and, perhaps the most unbearable, her heart beating in her chest. Jason Blossom was in a COMA, that had been true since he was found in summer, close to death after suffering... injuries. The townspeople of Riverdale opted to believe Jason had sustained these injuries when his boat capsized. It was INCONCEIVABLE to think that someone in Riverdale would have attacked Jason. Not Riverdale, not Jason! This wasn’t that kind of town, Jason wasn’t that kind of person. 

Betty was sure she knew the TRUTH about what kind of person Jason was. The kind who made advances toward her shortly after he broke her big sister’s heart. Advances she did NOT repciorate, well maybe a little bit not even a little bit! Jason was the boy Betty felt justified in pushing into Sweetwater River that hot summer day. Jason was the boy that Betty felt the world was better off WITHOUT. Right now, Jason was the ONLY person she was terrified of.

When they found Jason alive, Betty had been worried. When her mother’s own newspaper reported that Jason was in a coma, Betty felt relief but only the smallest amount. She made it her mission to visit Jason EVERYDAY in the hospital, much to the disdain of her parents. They didn’t understand and she wouldn’t explain. If Jason woke up, Betty had to make sure he wasn’t going to tell on her and ruin her PRISTINE reputation. 

She was there now, sitting down and completing some homework, when she saw Jason’s eyes open. Betty almost jumped out of her skin. “Jay- Jason.” She swallowed thickly, trying to shove down all of her nerves, her anxieties, her worries. She hoped he didn’t remember anything from before his accident. She hoped and HOPED and --

She forced a bright smile, like she was really happy to see him.

 “How are you feeling?” // @fierylcves​, Betty’s at your bedside!

[babyyeah]

[babyyeah]

[drkbetty]

MAKE URSELF UWU

Happy Munday!

this_is_me_camp_rock.mp3

tagged by: i stole this from my other blog

tagging: @hohjughead @ethel--muggs @fierylcves @snobbypearls @deadbrcther and YOU, whoever is reading this!!

[drkbetty]

Jughead wasn’t sure what he was going to do throw up or die, but he felt both feelings at once at Betty mentioning that. His neck and ears were immediately red, and he tried to hide the fact that he was blushing. How the fuck did Betty know about that?

“Oh no…Betty, I think it’s definitely…” Jughead started signing and speaking, both very quick in pace. “It’s definitely! But, you don’t…Hentai isn’t really an interest of mine!”

He shook his head to try to set his mind straight. “It’s…um…It’s like…pornography and it’s not something I watch..Not that it’s bad to watch! It’s just not something I watch, you know?” he said and signed, trying to slow down. Was he sweating? Was he going to die? Can you die of embarrassment and everyone else had just been super lucky to not have died?

Betty watches Jughead sweat and grow as red as Cheryl Blossom’s hair. He’s sooo cute! Betty feels her heart flutter like it would take off into the sunset, into Jughead’s arms. “Juggie~” Her voice comes out in a singsong. “Has anyone ever told you you’re adorable?” She was so concerned with what her heart was doing, she almost forgot that Jughead was answering a question.

She blinks a few times. “So...” Her nose wrinkles. “It’s cartoon porn? Why would somebody make that?”

“Cartoons are for kids!”

[angelprompts]

without checking first, send me a number from 1-20 and I’ll write you a starter for our muses based in the setting of the image you picked !

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[11-515]

[drkbetty]

Jughead couldn’t quite figure out what he hated more yet. The fact that her impression was so spot on to Reggie that he almost wanted to film it or the butchering of the most scared language he could think of. 

He was almost at a loss of words before she insisted again. Giving his head a proverbial shake, he finally spoke up. “Betty…ah-are you trying to say kawaii? Like kah-why-ee?” he said and signed, stopping when he was trying to say how to pronounce the word.

Fuck. What did he think of her? Was she cute? I mean…I guess if they were the last two people and he was like really struggling…she was okay?

“Sure. Yeah, you’re kawaii,” he said, dropping the signing for a moment, rolling his eyes a little. “Did you like..research that or something?”

“...Oh.” 

Betty’s quiet for just a beat, all she needs is a moment to process what he’s said. “Of course it’s pronounced kawaii...” If only she could KICK herself! She’d be doing it over and over again! “Like... Hawaii.”

Betty only knew conversational sign language - almost everyone HAD to learn it when Jughead entered the class - nothing like... she missed when he signed the new word. GOD! How was she going to impress him like this? “Thank you!” She visibly brightens. “Of course I researched it. I think you’re pretty kawaii too.” She bumps her shoulder into his. Softly, of course.

“I’ve been working down a list of words most commonly searched with the query ‘anime.’ Hentai’s next on the list. Do you know what that-” Betty’s eyes widen. “Are you okay?” 

[kedvesems]

[bittersweetpeachlemonade-deacti]

❤️💄

[kittyp333]

moon prism power makeup

[drkbetty]

The smell of popcorn filled the living room while a campy HORROR flick flashed on the flat screen television. Veronica managed to get her home all to herself for the URGENT sleepover Betty had called into attendance. Betty was crying when she called and she didn’t want to talk about what had happened when she arrived. Betty was LUCKY Veronica was so nice or it’d be a lot harder to kill her.

Yes, that was Betty’s goal for the night’s end. Veronica Lodge was going to DIE. Betty hoped there weren’t any hard feelings on the way out. The Cooper family had been hunting MONSTERS for years and Betty had been trained to detect the signs. At some point, when Betty wasn’t looking, Veronica Lodge had become a VAMPIRE. If she was recently turned this implied a bat’s cave of bloodsuckers were somewhere in Riverdale. It was Betty’s job, as a Cooper, to find them and stomp them out.

It really was a shame. Betty considered Ronnie a true friend. But now that she was one of those MONSTERS, that’s all she could be. Betty was raised right. Creatures of the night were neither friend nor foe. They were either prey or PREDATOR and Betty certainly wasn’t going to let herself become prey.

Betty stalked into the kitchen where Veronica was, getting the popcorn ready for their movie. A scream of TERROR came from the surround sound speakers. 'I know what you are!' The heroine in the film yelled. 'You’re a vampire!'

Betty grabbed a knife from the dish rack. “Hi, Ronnie.” She spoke up from behind her.

 “I thought I should give you a running start, for old time’s sake.”

// Look out, @snobbypearls! She’s right behind you!

[drkbetty]

“Juggie?” Eyelashes flutter in the most dainty of ways~ Betty’s been practicing. Maybe he’ll notice?

Pink glossed lip open with a curious, absolutely innocent question, “Do you think I’m ka-way?” Her eyes scanned his face for a sign of recognition or appreciation. She was getting closer and closer to his interests, she could tell!

“Well,” Her words press the matter softly. “Do you?”

@hohjughead 

[drkbetty]

[drkbetty]

Years and years and YEARS!

Betty spent SO long, longing! Certainly, the whole town of Riverdale would not be able to remember a time when Archie Andrews didn’t hold Betty Cooper’s HEART. And now, after all these years and years and YEARS — Betty finally held his. All it took were some magical words and a small sip of a lovely little concoction and Archie was wrapped around Betty’s pinky finger. 

It wasn’t enough.

Betty made her way into Greendale, looking for a WITCH with more experience than a rewatch of Sixteen Candles. There were all types of rumors about every other person in this town! It was almost as BAD as Riverdale. Of all the rumored witches in town, settled on meeting with a woman named EVIE. Apparently this woman frequented a bookstore in town. Betty simply had to catch her.

Based on description alone, she was easy to find. Not too many people in the area looked the way she did. Beautiful. WITCHY. Betty sat down at the same table Evie had and opened up her Agatha Christie novel. She pretended to read it, for a moment, but she knew she had to ACT fast. She didn’t want to follow anyone around for longer than she had to.

Betty starts in a whisper, leaning towards the other woman while her eyes still scanned the pages. “What do you know about love potions?”

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