Unsparkling

30s. female. mother of two. divorced. this is just the blog for all the things i don't want to share even with my tumblr friends those times when i am feeling lowest feel free to comment, but i prefer to be anonymous here.

[drowned-jewels]

wow i actually... don't want to go

[drowned-jewels]

coming to terms with the reality that this will probably be the last one i attend

still not ready to tell people just yet

idk if i will

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it's not worth it, nobody cares

i say as i cancel the reblog

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isn't it something when you don't feel like home even when you're at home

there just isn't one for me then huh

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wow learning that two more people silently left my discord wow ok

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i hate how no one on this website interacts with me anymore unless i directly comment on their posts. me posting stuff on my main blog with over 1k followers? dead silence it's unreal tbh

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also the thing is if i don't go next time i can just tell people i can't afford it which is kinda true anyway

[drowned-jewels]

wow the pros and cons list is pretty clear that i should not go

honestly if it wasn't less than a week away i might cancel this trip

maybe i will change my mind when i get there

i doubt it

[drowned-jewels]

well the good thing about maybe not going again after this is i can adopt another animal (or two) and not have to worry about their care while i'm gone but i'm still not entirely convinced that i want to be done going after this time tho leaning 60/40 on not going again idk i just feel like it's so much and the payoff is just not there anymore and not going in january made me realize that really i don't have to go and life will continue and it's ok

[drowned-jewels]

i legit do not understand some people

excUSE me for speaking, i'll shut up now.

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you know i hate posting something that i spend a lot of time on and getting nothing but a scam reply to it

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realizing that i was never really a part of that community was i

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you know if you're not going to acknowledge me at all in ur chat then i'm just gonna fucking leave i guess

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the closer we get to the event the more i think about how much time im gonna spend on my own while my friends do other things

always easy to be my friend when we're not in the same location but as soon as we're in person i become invisible again

[drowned-jewels]

maybe work on urself before u come at me bitch

[drowned-jewels]

it's just an excuse and i know it's an excuse and it's not even a good one but i am just too fucking tired to fight for shit anymore

[drowned-jewels]

guess im just gonna be sad today then